“No Child Left Behind”
“No Child Left Behind” True. They’re all aboard the FAIL train.
(A McCain supporter)
So many passengers on that train.
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: EWAdams via Our LOL Builder
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Somebody has to be a janitor. . . Simple as that.
oh, right. cuz… painting signs to fast iz reel bad.
Have you *seen* the mess that perfectly smart people make on the Internet?
Ok, what’s with the photobomb esque guy standing next to the guy with the sign? What’s that look on his face?
That’s EWAdams. You can tell by the smug preachy look on his face.
He’s now appearing in his own lols to supervise. Oh, and once you appear in one of his lols, you have to work on Sunday, yeaaaah.
I’m good with that.. but you try making me work on Saturdays and you’ll have a problem
I know right!
*mopes*
I always have to work Saturdays.
I usually have to work Saturdays too. *mopes with Rando*
You know.. there’s a certain group of us out there, that we can call religious discrimination if they make you work Saturdays… *wink wink*
I see what you’re saying.
Mozel tov! Or do you only say that when people get married? How does one spell Mozel tov anyway?
Mozeltoff dear, and it’s Hebrew for “Congratulations!”.
Might I also add that Firefox tells you “Hebrew” is spelled wrong if it’s not capitalized. Yet.. mozeltoff shows up as mispelled no matter what. How silly…
Oh. Well, Mozeltoff for converting a Jew!
Who needs a gospel when the benefits package speaks for itself eh?
Mazel Tov.
fool.
Begone, Cat-Troll!
I’ve mostly seen it Mazel Tov. But Hebrew doesn’t have vowels written in–at least not in the Torah. That factoid impressed the heck out of me, after watching a bar mitzvah boy do his thing!
15 is a great, great year. Let me tell you.
Mozeltoff!
I have a grandmother who speaks Yiddish, if there ever was a reason for making fun of Jews… it’s for Yiddish, the most comical sounding language ever.
Yes, I agree. Yiddish is pretty funny.
*puts on Jew hat(in this case a scarf to cover her hair)* Mazel tov means congratulations. Finding ones faith could be cause for congratulations.
I was double ninja’d!
It’s called a yarmulke.
Or as they call it where I’m from a “Hey let’s harass him hat!”
I have one, but I don’t wear it around.
Besides, if I recall correctly, yarmulkes are only for the menfolk.
We made yarmulke bras for White Trash Hannukah one year. Or was that the Pass(out)-over party? I forget.
Either one sounds like a freakin great time!
And a yarmulke bra makes me tingle in a dirty jew kinda way.
No, they make excellent bras.
When I get my pictures scanned you can see the pictures of the White Trash Hannukah/Passout party.
Well, get to scanning! I need to know who I’m supposed to wear a yarmulke!
IF you friend me on FB, goddamnit!
how…who….whatever…
My scanner is in AZ
I believe this calls for *has a sad*
Hey, don’t knock the Yiddish! In what other language can you simultaneously compliment and curse someone? “May you have ten houses, and in each house ten bedrooms, and may you spend the rest of your life going from room to room because you can’t get a good night’s sleep.” See Leo Rosten’s body of work for more.
Just out of curiosity, practicing or just culturally/ethnically?
More ethnically than practicing really. I do love bacon. And the nearest synagogue is freaking 80 miles away.
What is it freaking that far away?
I live in the south, You can find a church just about every 3 blocks, Synagogues, Mosques and Kingdom Halls though… are another story…
Luckily, I have yet to meet a scientologist though…
*facepalm* Max.. Read what I wrote.
Hahahahaha, I got it, charro.
Oops! Now that I getcha… I’m so embarrassed I don’t have a snappy comeback!
Well, I’m glad it was finally gotten.
I was concentrating too much on the licking down below… my bad.
Are you licking kangeroos?
It’s possible. They have strange slang in Australia.
Well to clear the confusion I’ll be giving examples of “licking down below” The line starts right here..
*jumps onto the word here*
Alright DU… let me show you how cunning a linguist I am…..
Erlauben Sie mir, Ihren jeden Wunsch zu erfüllen.
Or perhaps…
Metta indietro, si rilassi, e avrò cura di tutto.
or if you’re really naughty…
Permettez-moi d’illustrer la nature d’érotisme dans la langue d’amour.
Oh…oh my. *fans self*
*winks at Charro*
I’m pleased that I could make you blush my dear.
*fans DU*
Perhaps you should take off your clothes and cool down DU.
*winks at Max*
It would make it easier when showing how “licking down below” works.
Ah, a very good idea. *strips down to a corset and stockings*
*gets to “the business” and shoots for overtime*
Dammit! I miss so much around here on weekends! Max, is it too late for a demonstration of your talents?
*uses Jewish mother voice*
Thirty years in the desert, and you can’t even be bothered to drive for 2 hours?
The least you could do is call me once in a while.
*whispers* 40 years….
Shhh, she’s old! She can’t remember back that far!
Ah. NOt an expert, but wasn’t it 40? *confused*
DU!! Q8<
sorry, I can never keep all the religious stuff straight… after being dragged through most Christian denominations, and experimenting with paganism, Taoism, and Ba’hai (don’t ask), and studying way to many world religions academically, I gave up on trying to remember it all.
I’m agnostic by virtue of the fact that I can’t remember anything more complicated.
It is less offensive that way GB
“My ancestors didn’t wander 40 years in the desert so I could use it to guilt trip anyone who says something anti-semi- wait…”
I like that. I’m keeping it.
In 2004 one of my neighbors had a bumper sticker that said “The last time people listened to a bush, they were stuck in the desert for 40 years.” That’s probably the real reason I remember it.
I have a friend who is vaguely agnostic because she’s to lazy to be an atheist. It amuses me greatly.
You call it “smug and preachy”. Intelligent people call it astute and accurate.
So you must be calling it smug & preachy too.
Sigh. Please click the link, it’s for everyone’s own good.
This one was an attempt at funny but…… SIGH, just sigh.
LOL that guy wrote a novel about how mean you are to poor poor pitiful EWAdams.
Yeah, what was up with that?
I think it WAS EW. Because he made sure to post the disclaimer.
“Hi, this is…er…not-EWAdams.”
“Are you EWAdams?”
“Yes, I mean NO! DAMMIT!”
“You say you’re a liberal, but your acting like a meanie poo poo head republican! Waaaah!”
Yeah, no one would defend such a douche so passionately unless they were the douche in question. Especially the whole, “you’re not a liberal because you don’t like me” train of thought.
But apparently EWA has got 54 friends, FFS. That just shows the mountain we have to climb. Theoretically that’s 54 plus votes for every lolame.
*contemplates enormity*
*has a sad*
Or shows us exactly how many socks he has, and what script he has to use in order to macro vote his own lols up.
I’m one of EWA’s friends. It has no standards.
Igloo! I’m shocked and appalled!
Igloo can’t send threatening messages to EW unless he becomes a friend first.
Igloo? Are you threatening him?
……..No?
WELL WHY NOT????
Then why are you friends with him/her/it?
So I could post the link to my letter.
LOL YOU POSTED YOUR LETTER ON HIS PAGE!?
I find that hysterical.
Bravo, sir! Well played.
Well, there’s always the poo in a flaming bag on the doorstep…
The thing is, I really believe there are lots of people who actual love his kind of preachiness. He appeals to some people who don’t care about funny. These people are asshats.
And need to get the feck off Eddie’s lawn!
Damn straight!
So long as they aren’t Massholes. We’ve enough irritants living in my state!
Well obviously Jane… it’s not like the Mighty liberal Stature of Virtue that is EWAdams could actually be hypocritical, close minded, and WRONG!
I mean.. only xeno-phobic, self loathing… uh… lactose in tolerant republicans are hypocritical close minded and wrong!
Damn the lactose intolerant republicans! What did lactose ever do to them! *shakes fist angerly*
EQUAL DAIRY RIGHTS FOR ALL!!!!!!
Hey you…
*LICK*
Oooh! I want to lick too! *licklicklicklick*
*licks Charro*
Oh I gave you more licking than Jane
*licks Jane again*
Oh my now she’s ahead… I have to be fair you know…
*Goes on a lickfest*
Hee hee! *licksJanie* *licksMax* *gets confused*
Should we start from the beginning then?
Yes. When we get to the end, we should stop.
*licks all around* Ahhhhhh, this is tasty.
Got paranoia?
Got a sense of humor? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
That post about you being a meanie has to be from the other hated person on PK, Paul Primivera/Ioannes. Otherwise, great write-up!
Read it and commented.
Snap!
???
That means, I agree and did so as well..
*passes the dictionary*
Huh, I’ve always used SNAP! as a sign of agreement. Does it mean something else?
It means something akin to “You just got schooled” as in, either you were just insulted and it was a well executed insult or you were corrected on something in a somewhat humiliating fashion.
Ok, well it has a completely different meaning down here. But, I will keep that in mind the next time I use it. Thanks DU!
Snap.
Crackle.
Dad.
And buried.
It also is a good substitute for “Oh no she di’hint!”
Hmmm.. I may have passed the dictionary to the wrong person.
I had a happy seeing the link to my made-up-for-the-sake-of-one-post site at the end of your open letter, that I added “no child left behind and made a mental note to add future EW front page posts to it.
*skips off happily thinking the cool kids like me, stops to eat the flesh of some EWAdams voter-uppers*
But if we had no taxes we’d all be free to indenture our lives to our local local landowner.
I just hope your children can live to see that day of liberty.
Oh poor Sqwirk… you can’t get a real discussion from an EWAdams lolame… just froth.
You can still indenture yourself, it’s called credit.
*buys n10 a drink*
Well deserved!
I prefer to indenture myself to a local foreign landowner.
I’m a foreign foreign land owner, does that work for you?
I dunno.. What’s in it for me? That’s a little far out of my usual indenturing.
All the moose and beaver you can eat.
I do love eating beaver..
off topic, but actually the Canadian Beaver is our secret weapon
Doh… fat fingered the URL… I meant this
I hate it when my beaver gets blighted.
Now June, I think you’re being a bit hard on the beaver …
Don’t Ju-ly to me!
But.. I didn’t lie to you Charro…
Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.
*at which point our salacious hero indulges in August-tit-tory delight unparalleled …*
Both beaver testicles and castoreum, a bitter-tasting secretion with a slightly fetid odor contained in the castor sacs of male or female beaver, have been articles of trade for use in traditional medicine. Yupik (Eskimo) medicine used dried beaver testicles like willow bark to relieve pain. Beaver testicles were exported from Levant (a region centered on Israel) from the tenth to nineteenth century.
Thank you Sqwirk.
Beaver testicles: not something you see every day. Perhaps I don’t visit the right websites.
It must be effective.
Imagine how bad a headache you’d need to have to think about trying beaver testicles.
OK, beaver testicles good, bear liver bad. The things I learn!
I take it you don’t want any of my garlic roasted prairie oysters then…
*wonders why no one ever comes to his Super Bowl parties*
Should be nachos.
Perhaps next time jewels see the error of your huevos.
an astute observation pitty, you’re really on the ball today.
Peanut?
*holds out bowl*
Curious though, I’m surprised there was a trade in beaver testicles from Levant. I thought most of the indigenous populations in the region considered anything related to testicles taboo for consumption.
Beavers don’t have testicles though. At least, my beaver doesn’t.
I don’t believe you… I believe this calls for an inspection
*Puts on Official Canadian Beaver Inspector hat*
Alright, but I expect this to be a highly thorough inspection.
Trust me ma’am, I’m a professional
*pulls out the ‘tickle trunk’*
Here GB, be sure to go by the Bureau’s 120 point inspection
*toss GB a thick manual*
Good luck and godspeed!
Hmm, this may take a while. *clears schedule for the next week* I don’t want you to miss anything!
*thud*
Yet another “all Republicans are stupid because this one guy can’t spell.” If all American voters were required to pass a citizen literacy test, the Democratic Party would cease to exist. Yes, you people are that stupid.
No one cares what you think.
No one.
Ever.
No one cares what anyone thinks anymore. Why bother saying it?
I would say it, but I’m too apathetic.
Moran
Bailey
No one cares what you think.
No one care what you think.
No one cares what you think.
No one cares what you think.
And since you didn’t capitalize the “all” in quotations (Since it was the beginning of another sentence.), you failed the citizen literacy test, I’m afraid you’ve lost your right to vote.
Good grief, wasn’t the sign written in cryllic?
IT’S BELGIAN!!!!@#@YGFBJKS *
No one cares what you think.
All Republicans ARE illiterate and stupid. Except for the ones who cheat on their wives in Argentina (and everywhere else), of course. zing!
Nobody cares what you think.
….Hey! Frou! Did you know you’re illiterate? *wonders how Frou, ILPB, Eddie, JAC and the others have been posting on this bored while being completely unable to read or write. Finds herself strongly impressed with their skill in overcoming such an obvious handicap, and throws a banquet on their honor.*
You are bored? What?
Damn, I knew I was missing something from my schoolin’. I guess I should have paid more attention while getting my degree….
Nobody cares what you think, and most want you to fall off a cliff.
Heard this “give voters IQ tests” stuff from Conservatives quite a lot. And yet it’s the liberals who are condecending intelectual elitists. Gotcha.
condecending intelectual?
Hmm… Just saying …
I’d give you citizenship test before allowing YOU to vote. You’re obviously close to illiterate and have barely a “navigational” knowledge of English, which leads me to conclude that you can’t possibly be a U.S. citizen.
“this one guy can’t spell”?
Are yous erious? Have you seen one of those teabagger parties?
This is bad, so very bad.
1) The no child left behind act was enabled in 2001
2) This man is not 9 years old
He could have that Robin Williams condition.
What being very hairy?
This made me lol.
This bit of depressing nonsense has prompted me to save you with something I find distracting and always good for my mood.
Meh. Got one with the hot firefighters?
Um no, but Youtube does have a search function.
… Here, I decided to be nice and find them for you.
Or men in kilts…with a twist!
i can’t watch the video at work, but that still shot is rather nummy.
*note to self: do not lick computer screen.
Um…I think I’m gonna go erect, er…something now.
Ya, I wanted to buy a lot of power tools after I saw the video…
Power tools? What power tools?
In spite of the feminine pulchritude, I had a hard time getting past the poor safety technique. Thou shalt not take one’s eye off of the operating power tool. Unless you want the nickname of ’stumpy’!
I’m trying to find a way to make stumpy into an innuendo, but my conscience wont let me
Strong evidence that you may not, in fact, be a lesbian.
I just can’t get past the possible trauma images that would come next… Maybe because I know these things DO happen?
I was aware of something making the girls jiggle, but not really sure what.
I vote for the nuclear option.
on it
*pulls out remote and presses yellow, button*
Nuclear platform armed
MWAHAHAHAHA
*presses red button*
Nuclear platform OS has encountered an error and must shut down. Thank you for using Microsoft Doomsday Edition
… Next time I use Linux….
BSOD
Interesting…
{http://www.boston.com/news/world/europe/articles/2010/02/02/internet_among_nobel_peace_prize_nominees/}
apparently they’ve never seen 4chan…
Or the bartering of thermonuclear devices on PK! Perhaps it was our inability to assemble the IKEA Thermonuclear Orbital Missile Platform?
I told you not to go to IKEA, mabs…….but you wouldn’t listen to me.
*kicks dirt* Stupid self-assembling ones only available for Canadians. *mutter mutter*
Rightwingers may hate “socialist” programs like AMTRAK, but they love riding on the FAIL Train.
No one cares what you think.
But he said FAIL Train! That makes him clever and witty!
I HAVE A DREAM AND THAT DREAM US TO TAKE DOWN IGLOOMCCOY AND HIS bitching adtitude about EWAdams
Take yer spam and git! *waves shotgun menacingly*
I have a dream.. That people of all walks of life learn how to properly spell, and learn proper capitalisation techniques.
You’re EWAdams, aren’t you ? ( waves crowbar around )
GORDON FREEMAN??
Rise and Shine, Mr. Freeman, Rise and Shine…
Wake up and smell the ashes.
Why do you care?
I am having problems with the IKEA Non-Self Assembling Orbital Thermonuclear Weapons Platform. SOmeone help!
*wanders in with her brand new M1A*
I got it, mabs.
*launches RPG at new fvckwit troll and empties entire magazine into its pieces just for good measure*