Typical.
Typical. The men sit around, the woman does the work.
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Picture by: The New York Times Caption by: EWAdams via Our LOL Builder
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Really? Is that what’s going on here? My guess is the chick who always screws up my finance paperwork is putting on all of her gear (rare for those admin types) for a photo op to send home.
im just suprised to see her deployed, on my post they usually end up preggo before they even make it to the plane.
Augh !!!! EWAdams again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Smack !!
ah yeah and the men on your post have naturally NOTHING to do with that!
What’s the over/under on how many people she flagged with that thingy? (“thingy” = Rifle/Weapon, to those of us who didn’t ride a desk for a deployment)
That weapon is way too big for her. She could have at least grabbed something a bit more suitable for her size. What’s she 5′0″? You would think they would have denied her entry into the military due to her being too small.
At that point in time, all soldiers got the same weapon unless in a special unit (Special Forces, Rangers, etc.)
M-16. Every time.
m-4 carbine actually
A woman’s work is never done.
I thought she just realized she left her curling iron on.
Or her oven.
NOW GO IRON MY SHIRT B*TCH!!!!!
You’re asking for a hot iron to the crotch at about 3am.
You’re asking for a backhand to the face in about 5min.
I know which *I’d* choose.
Personally, I’d rather see it coming than be unconscious, but that’s just me, maybe.
it takes five whole minutes for your fat ass to raise a hand?
*irons kn0wledge1ne’s shirt while it’s still on him*
Is this to your satisfaction?
PSST you need to plug in the iron first. Damn this Women’s lib, they forgot how to iron appropriately. **shakes fist** Youngins…
*moans erotically*
THANK YOOOUUU!!! THANK YOOUUUU!!!
*one eyebrow rises*
You’re….. welcome?
You’re welcome, Stewie.
Just to let you guys know before I get flamed, I was just kidding. I don’t think of women that way. I’m the youngest of 3 with two older sisters.
Racist.
is he belgian too?
Only in Russia.
Ouch. Being oldest is the best!
Yeah they used to beat me up a lot since my parents spoiled me and they didn’t like it. But the moment puberty hit, they stopped growing while I continued.
Guess who’s the boss now?!
Um….them? heehee
*snerk* That’s not even a question; it’s a statement of fact!
Now see her WOMAN!! I’m the man, I make the money, I put bread on the table, and IF I want to watch the BALL GAME I’m gonna………………….
take out the trash.
*reclines on couch, drinking wine*
That’s right, big boy. While you’re out there, shovel the snow.
*looks down at shoes*
Yeah…
I’m still taller & stronger though!
:pats Kn0ledge1ne on the head: That’s nice dear, could you rub my feet for me? Thanks.
Only if I could smack the booty afterwards (if you’re a woman)…
Psst! The ‘wench’ should clue you in.
We’ll discuss smacking of the booty later.
*rubs justacanuck’s feet and massages back with erotic body oil*
Can we discuss it now?…
Mmmmmm…..just keep rubbing, dear.
Tony Danza?
*screams*
KILLIT!! KILL IT!! KILLITWITHFIRE!!
*sings* Hold me closer Tony Danza!
YA B*THC MAKE ME A SANDWICH
Sandwiches, sandwiches, sandwiches!
That’s all they want from us! Is that all you think we’re good for?
What happened to tha secks?
::cries::
Ew! Oh, Nao. *pats Nao* It’s okay; we’ll find you a NICE fellow. Someone who can write and talk the English good. Maybe you should talk to the nice lady ^^ who does the ‘toy’ parties while we look?
Oh, Mabs! I used to BE the toy party lady!
Rather, I WAS going to do that on the side … it sounded like fun, but I just don’t have the performance gene. I did a few parties, then gave it up. I still have quite the supply of toys!
I am the toy lady and they are fun to do the shows, plus there are great gels and creams now.
*throws down bread knife and mayo jar in frustration* That’s it! If I’m not gettting sexs out of this I quit! I’m becoming a lesbian!
So lesbians don’t eat sandwiches? *confused*
Lesbians make their OWN damn sandwiches.
They’re not used to being waited on hand and foot, like the spoiled males we’re listening to.
(Srsly, I just read a study about homosexual relationships being much more egalitarian when it comes to domestic duties . . . even where there is income disparity!)
I can believe that. I love my husband dearly, but he was raised by a very nice Southern lady who would never have thought to teach a boy how to do anything around the house. He works waaaay more hours than I do, so my son and I do most of the laundry. Once, long ago, he told me he didn’t have any clean socks, so I pointedly looked into the hamper where the dirty socks go and said, “But there aren’t any dirty ones.” I think he thought the socks went from the floor to the hamper by magic.
So can you find the study again? I would be interested in reading it.
Arrrghhh! I read/skim so much stuff, it’s insane. I’ll try to remember where I read that.
No biggie. It’s not as if I don’t have lots to read.
Of course not. Lesbians eat tacos.
Roffle.
Yup those sandwitches don’t fetch themselves
Ironic, because it’s hard to find a woman who prefers to do all the work…..in bed.
really? then you’re finding the wrong women!
I was going to say…. The future Mr. Wow doesn’t feel that way.
Don’t tell me how I feel…….
Well, I was going to say you felt, um….warm and muscular? But, ok, I won’t.
just don’t text while sexin’ him up… with your track record, it’ll end in disaster, in more ways than one.
Lol…”ZOMG I’M HAVING TEH SEX!11!!!”
Just make sure if you’re having an affair you don’t butt text or dial your current partner.
“Don’t butt secks or dial your partner”?! Whaa? Now see here, you have NO business telling her what she can do in her own bedroom!
Although, I have no idea what “dialing” means . . . is that some new urban dictionary thing I should look up? “
i can’t bring it up on my work computer without IT taking notice… but i’m pretty sure urban dictionary will have some crude and vulgar definition for “dialing”. they have one for everything else that once used to be an innocent term…
Read entire post please. I siad if you’re having an affair don’t butt Text or (butt) dial your current partner, as they could pick up the phone and either see a random text or phone call and hear you having sex with someone else. Dial = enter phone number into phone.
ilpb… she was INTENTIONALLY misreading it to make it funnier and more sexual. deep breaths… it’s all ok.
There wasn’t a single word fully capitalized there…. no anger yet…. you could get me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry…..
dude… i’m irish, polish and scottish. i’ve got the corner market on “wouldn’t like me when i’m angry”. *shrugs shoulders*
Dude, even when she’s happy she’s seriously pissed off.
Thanks for the explanation, Shorty.
ILPB: I didn’t indicate kidding in any way, because I thought it would be obvious.
That’s what I get for thinking … ::sigh::
Never assume. When you assume you make an a$$ out of U and me.
U first.
Me first what?
i hope it’s JUST a text, not a picture message…
No worries, Shortright, I’ve got the pictures.
Well there was this one time……
*shakes fist in the air*
Curses! canuck’s stolen them from my super secret safe…..
Your super secret safes are not super secret or super safe from ME, Muahahahahahahahaha!
Do you have pie? I might be willing to return them for pie?
*produces delicious pumpkin pie*
Just like Grannie used to make!
Uh huh……and where’s the whip cream? Or did Charro use it all up again?
I’ve got a whipped cream stash. What’s it worth to you?!
*looks up from rolling around in whipped cream*
Whut?
Um, VG, there appears to be a Charro in your whipped cream stash.
Tell me about it!
It’s all wonderful and great for them to lay there and have multiples but damn…some chicks are just too submissive and won’t take control.
Well thats enough about my personal life for today!
there’s a difference between submissive and lazy… a very LARGE difference.
if DWN were here he could give us all the details but what it comes down to is this:
- lazy chicks want theirs and don’t care about you.
- sub chicks want you to do whatever it is that gets you off because that gets them off.
of course that’s the bare bones edition on lazy vs. sub but it sums it up pretty well. and yes, some subs ARE lazy but i’d be willing to bet that’s the exception to the rule.
Sounds like that could equate to men too….
yep, it certainly could.
And some women might just be less experienced…a suggestion can go a long way!
And as for lazy men… *sighs* Do we have to point out that ‘plug and play’ usually doesn’t work, again?!?
That never happens in my house. No plugging until she’s been played. Heh.
That’s what I was going to say. Some women are just lazy. Me, I want him to enjoy himself as much as I am…. you know?
I see it as give and take. Sometimes he gives, I take, sometimes he takes and I give….and sometimes we both just take.
Actually, now that you point it out, I’m giggling too.
haha, it’s all good. no need to be embarrassed. i knew what you meant, but i also saw the second meaning almost immediately.
Yeah, she had issues…many issues.
Stupid Ivan taking all the naked shortrights.
*shakes fist*
chicks with issues… ha! that’s why we’re (meaning us PK regular women folk) aren’t lesbians. we know just how insane other women can be/are.
I take all the naked shortrights. That’s proof that I’m not stupid.
You just need to meet a nice Canuck woman.
Only if you shave and wear leather…
Shaving leaves stubble. NEVER shave. Waxing works better.
Or laser hare removal….. I think Elmer Fudd uses it.
or laser it all off. cuz with waxing you’re nice and smooth for about 2 weeks and then you’ve gotta wait at least another week until it’s grown in enough for waxing to be effective again.
or, just do a half assed shave every day. if you miss something today, you’ll catch it tomorrow. and then once a week do a good shave to make sure everything is all nice and tidy.
I haven’t tried laser yet. And I’m a little odd….I like waxing….
my sister in laws step mother does/did laser hair removal. i wanted her to do my arm pits… but she lives in arizona and i live in ohio. so i haven’t done it yet either.
i have a sorority sister that was lasered “down south” and she got an “!” left behind. i asked how ridiculous it would look when she was 80 and she said “oh, i didn’t think about that”. *shakes head*
I saw a trampstamp on Ugliest Tattoos that said “Anal Slut” and I’m thinking…oh, yeah, that’s going to look sooo good when you’re 40/50/etc. I have tats and have no problem with whatever you want to put on your body, but occasionally I want to shake these young girls and tell them to think!
I’m thinking someone who gets “anal slut” as a tramp stamp is not thinking of her future… just my assessment
@Shortright: Your point would seem to be that an un-lasered region would be more attractive when your friend is 80.
I’m sure, when you see it written down like that, that you understand how funny your argument is
PM… i was meaning that if she was going for lasering she might as well take it ALL off. 80yo bush isn’t going to be pretty but an 80yo “!” is just ridiculous.
I don’t regret any of my tats, thank the goddess. A reminder from youth of foolishness isn’t always a bad thing, but sometimes I look at these girls (and guys) and think, didn’t you have ANY friends that had some sense?
i don’t regret it at all. if i’d picked some random flash out of the book i may… but this is a celtic knot that i drew up on my own. the artist who put it on me wasn’t that great though and did it FAR too deep so it scarred over and his linework sucked. the thin lines are too thick and as a result marred some of the prettier aspects of the knotwork. if i’d known any better i would have used a much better artist and as a result i would probably like the tattoo more now… i’ve got a really great artist now who does all my custom work and i’ve considered having him look at it and see what he can do to lighten it up and fix some of the linework and such, but i don’t think there’s much he can do. thick black lines are hard to undo. i actually need to go in soon and get my latest tattoo touched up. but i need to wait until the weather’s better. i can’t have a messed up shoulder in sweater/sweatshirt weather…
Even drunk and on a dare, why in the HELL would anyone have that tattooed on themselves? *shakes head*
I’ve got exactly one tattoo, which I considered for a couple of YEARS before I had it done; had a couple of sketches done for it, and picked a spot where I could A) show it off in public if I wanted and B) easily cover it for situations where I don’t want to show it off. (Right shoulder blade).
diss – i don’t think it’d have to be a dare. if you’re drunk enough, anything sounds like a good idea. luckily, my friends aren’t assholes and the few times i’ve been that drunk they take me HOME rather than to the tattoo parlor. of all my tattoos there’s only one that you might see on any given day… and that’s because it’s on the inside of my left wrist, but i wear my watch on that wrist so the band usually covers it up. the others, i’ve got to be pretty well un-dressed for them to show. my latest is on my shoulder blade and despite the fact that it’s pretty large (about 8″x6″ solid color) i can hide it under almost everything i wear to the office.
Waxing sound scary…but the results are so appetizing!
“Waxing sound scary”
imagine waxing your balls… this is reason #1 why i will not wax. just, ouch.
#2 is i have a gf in cosmetology and she says about half the time when you get a bikini wax it rips off the top couple layers of skin and can cause bleeding but also makes you super susceptible to infection (including STDs) because your skin is effed with.
I did not know that…..Definitely going to look at laser now. Thanks, shortright!
yeah, when she possibly had h1n1 she had to call off work because if she waxed someone and then touched them she could get them really sick really quickly.
Well if you need a post-laser opinion…I’m willing to do taste-testing free of charge.
Thanks, Steve, I’ll keep you in mind.
steve… oralday was YESTERDAY. you can’t just offer free oral any day of the week! it takes all the thrill out of oralday.
I missed oralday? Dammit!!
i did too…
poor ivan.
We’ll have to double it up next oralday to make up for our loss.
Oooh, who are we doubling up on?
*starts doing tongue excercises to prepare for next oralday*
**ILPB rushes into room pushing over old lady using a walker unzipping fly**
Damn you Steve…. you got double day in barrel, I get this.
I forgot all about it. DAMNIT. The 3rd sign of the Apocalypse. Either that I’m I’m just getting old.
“I’m I’m”? Yeah, getting old. *sigh*
*snuggles ivan*
we all forgot oralday. and you’re not old, you’re well aged.
Who say’s there are no good women left! *snuggles shorty*
Sounds good to me!
I hear Canada is nice this time of year…LoL. Couldn’t be much worse than where I’m at, it’s 14 degrees outside. Besides, we wouldn’t need to go outside…
it’s 10* here. i like winter, but i wish we could have snow and pretty winter ice coated trees and everything at about 40*… this 10* and under BS is gonna kill me.
We have a hoarfrost this morning. Makes everything really pretty…..but the roads are sheets of ice.
we had freezing rain here the other day. roads are mostly clear now… but there was a fatal accident this morning on a highway ramp and there was one the other day (monday) when a tractor trailer jack knifed across 3 lanes and another one skidded right through the middle of the trailer… closed the highway in both directions for HOURS and today they have almost finished cleaning up bits of the semi’s.
we don’t have the pretty ice on the trees yet. while it’s dangerous and kills lots of trees, that’s my favorite part of winter. it’s just so freaking pretty.
It made it up to 29 today in eastern Iowa.
We’re at -9 (F) right now with the windchill……but I have a fireplace.
Woohoo! I’ll bring s’mores!
I’ll bring the Gociva Chocolate Flavored Liquor and video camera.
74° here. Windows open, nice breeze…
Well, no fire and godiva chocolate liqueur for you then, Ivan. :p
Unless you and shorty want to come join me in the frozen north…..
shorty lives in her own frozen north and doesn’t think her fingers and toes could handle even more frozen…
and what exactly is the nearest airport? i could use a bit of sun…
It still gets cold at night. Upper 40’s last night. But Tampa is about a half hour away.
Oh my, it got to a low of 51 here last night!
I’m visiting, Ivan, I promise you!
Oh, that’s right … Bike Week in Daytona Beach is coming up at the end of February! Care to join us?
i was in st. augustine for bike week in feb 2008. it was AWESOME. of course i was there with a bunch of prudes and they complained that it was too loud and that the bikers were messing up the town… i wanted to hop on a bike and go have some fun.
actually, i lied… i was there in feb 2009.
I was in Indianapolis (waiting on a plane for six hours) during the staging for the big 100th anniversary Harley-Davidson rally. Bikes everywhere. They were noisy (hey, 10,000 Harleys and noise is redundant) , but all incredibly well-mannered and organized. Unfortunately, for some bizarre reason there was also a Neo-Nazi rally at the same time.
Sigh….I miss riding
My ex had a bike, he took it, I took the child. Better end of the deal, I know, but still…….
Hey, can I get the hoarfrost without the -9 (F)? I really do miss the hoarfrost.
hoarfrost? Sounds like a hooker in Siberia. (Or to some liberals a loud mouth in Alaska.)
Do not insult hoarfrost by comparing it to HER.
Despite the unfortunate sound (yes, it’s pronounced just like that), it’s a beautiful effect created by a steady wind blowing ice crystals through the air in just the right conditions — you get gorgeous crystals on one side of everything. So if you look at a chain link fence from the windward side, nothing; from the lee side, solid white.
Of course, those Canadians may have a different version, them being all weird and whatnot.
Damn, and I was thinking about going to the beauty parlor and asking them to hoarfrost my hair.
I can do that for you Diss… *wink wink nudge nudge**
Ewww, nasty!
Ahem :adjusts glasses: I believe you are referring to advection frost, which is caused by wind. Hoar frost is similar to rime frost but is more delicate and feathery in appearance.
Okay, I got that from wiki. I just know it’s pretty.
Smarty pants Canuck!
Smart and sexy, that’s me! :wiggles booty at Mabs:
Sorry, Mabs, I don’t think you can. But you can come sit in front of my fire.
O_O
Really? So, um…. this happens a lot in your experience?
Perhaps he knows a lot of actresses.
personal opinion here… but it’s fecking stupid to fake it. if he thinks he’s doing it right he’ll never actually GET it right and then you’re not getting ANYTHING out of it. if it doesn’t work, don’t fake it… just provide guidance the next time so it DOES work.
real > fake. every time.
Agreed!
Tell us what we did wrong.. a good man will try and change….. or at least use it for leverage..
Of course a total jerk will tell you he’s doing it right, it’s you that’s screwed up — but it’s good fair warning that you’re, you know, with a total jerk!
“I’d gladly twist that way if for once you’d put on the damn thigh highs!!!”
Thigh highs are terrible. Stockings are much better. Thigh highs make even thin thighs look fat.
Fine if you must change requirements you now must wear a corset.. :-p
ilpb, a legitimate boned corset or one of those frilly things that doesn’t actually do what a corset is supposed to do, but looks pretty and ends up on the floor in about 5 minutes anyway?
boned and leather….. stays on entire time, for most part.
They all look pretty and end up on the floor …
Sure, I’ll wear a corset. Of either type.
Is this good enough?
{http://www.comparestoreprices.co.uk/images/18/18010-axfords-c125-basque-style-overbust-corset.jpg}
Oh, leather.
Well, a man after my own heart. My man kinda likes that innocent and white look, of the pic to which I posted the link . . . but since you say “leather”, let me go hunt for something else.
ilpb, i don’t think you understand just how awful leather is for sexual encounters… it’s like rugburn, but worse.
and nao, what site can you buy that corset on? i want it! i have probably 15 of the frillier basically lingerie variety and 4 of the actual boned, make me look really skinny, kind…
Stockings + boned leather corest = Good things. Don’t understand why some woman shy away.
Shorty, there are other positions to try. That’s only when the animal side comes out. The tender side, sure skin and skin is good, animal….. give me leather or give me death.
ilpb, not sure which position you were thinking i was talking about… i can assure you that i’m not quite as vanilla as you might be attributing to me. however, as my name indicates, i like being naked. play clothes are fun but they always end up on the floor…
I know you ain’t vanilla, you’re rocky road with cranberries….
I was just telling you how’s I likes it at times… we’re human and allowed to differ…
Seconding the “Where can you buy that corset?” It’s adorable!
Mini-lingerie-rant here: WTF is the deal with the only easily-found colors in sexy lingerie being white, black, and RED? I don’t look sexy in red; I look sickly. Why not a nice blue or green? Huh, manufacturers? I think the fourth-runner-up in common colors is purple…which is also not terribly flattering to me. [/rant]
I’ll go shopping with you Diss to find something in your color.
I know you ain’t vanilla, you’re rocky road with cranberries…
BWAAHAHAHAH! i literally just burst out laughing here in my office. good thing i’m the only one in here today!
Sorry guys! I found that pic with a Google Images search, and when Shorty asked, I went looking for the site, but I can’t find. I do have some wonderful sites bookmarked, however. I could post them on FB?
Nao: Then it’s your responsibility to buy one put it on, take picture and post links somewhere private.
All in favor say “Aye”.
nao, if you’ve got places that have stuff like that for not an arm and a leg i’d appreciate the links on FB (either in a message or posted to PKI2.0, i’m sure the boys wouldn’t mind. lol).
@Nao: Yes, please!
@ILPB: Yay, shopping trip!
Link is waiting on PKIR2.
Minor lingerie rant–why doesn’t any of the interesting stuff come in tall? Vikings want to wear corsets, too, but ‘average’ ends up hitting in weird places. *grumbles, kicks dirt, walks away*
Not just lingerie that’s made to some strange ’standard’ woman, but swimsuits, too. Is it impossible for the manufacturers to believe that a woman with actual boobs might want to go swimming and keep everything inside the suit?
mabsba, apparently that’s as difficult for them to fathom as the idea that those of us with small boobs would like our suits to fit neatly over them without gapping, bagging, or exposing anything when we bend over. According to all clothing manufacturers, if we’re not 5′6″, 120 lbs, 34C and a 7 1/2 shoe, we don’t actually exist.
Hee hee. I actually wear a 7.5 shoe.
5′5″ and closer to a 36C actually….Yes, I know how lucky I am to be considered normal size by the clothing manufactures… I’m sorry. I’ll go now.
Naw. You can stay as long as you make fun of them with us.
I understand about trying to find the right size lingerie. I am a plus size woman myself and I have found that I am able to get lingerie from my business. I am a Slumber Parties consultant and we have a variety of pieces of lingerie for reasonable prices that are very sexy. I was recommended to this discussion by a FB friend and I just wanted to help out.
Here is my website if I can answer any questions please let me know. {www.slumberpartiesbylizabeth.com} I understand what it is like to feel sexy because we all deserve it.
Mabs! You’ve entered an area of my expertise!
If you want good swimwear, you’ve GOT to check out Fantasie of England. They have also have a line called Freya (appropriate for Vikings, eh?). You can get them from Figleaves.com, Bravissimo.com or several other places I can point you to. They have some great lingerie, but I love their swimwear. Conversely, my favorite bras are made by Panache, and I have some of their swimwear, but I don’t like it as well as my Freya/Fantasie.
They are all sold sized like bras (none of this S/M/L crap, or size 8/10/12 crap) and sold separately from the bottoms, so you can get a good fit. [Oh, I was thinking bikinis--good support, w/underwires--but you may want something else. They have one-pieces and tankinis, too.]
I sometimes scour eBay if I want a deal. The manufacturers and retailers clear out the season’s suits and some sellers snatch it up and resell it, and I’ve really found some good deals that way.
Hahaha…good burn Jane.
But no, not every time of course. I’m a bit insatiable though, I like to hit it at least twice and then again the next morning, so it stands to reason my partner would have more than one
I was ranting about one particular female who was easy to set off if I pressed the right buttons. It had to do with the daddy/abuse issues. I prefer not to share any more details than that.
Well, I didn’t mean it as a burn. Just that most women I know have to work hard for just one and even that doesn’t happen every time.
FYI, this improves as you get older. Something to look forward to!
Of course, the real solution to select one carefully and practice a lot.
Just for pointers, sometimes it helps to wait about a week. let the tension really build. That way, when the damn bursts, the whole town floods. And that works, in my experience, for both men and women. But make sure you both know when to wait, or you will tick off your spouse. Go for the 4th of July, instead of a little kid shooting one firecracker at a time.
I’m hoping that wasn’t a reply to me. If it was, TMI. Really.
More to the entire conversation.
Oh yeah, when I hit 35, it was like someone flipped a switch. Oh, baby
For me it was 30!
Look out . . . 16-year-old boys think they’re horny!
Yeah, but they’re jailbait….oh, wait, you didn’t mean…..never mind.
No, I DEFINITELY DID NOT mean !
Heehee….sorry. (Not that I ever would touch a 16 year old. My son’s 12, that would be icky.)
That’s unfortunate…I wonder if that varies depending how sexually open the particular woman is.
I only have a few female friends that I openly discuss sex with, it seems like as long as their partner lasts a while it’s not ever a problem. They’re just as horny as any guy I know though…one says she can have one in a pair of jeans just by crossing her legs and squeezing/wiggling in her chair.
Maybe some have an easier time getting there…I don’t really have thousands of samples to draw a conclusion from.
Maybe I’m just really, really good…is that so far fetched?
Sorry, Steve, I’m going to call for cite on this one…..or a demonstration.
Demonstrations can be arranged…then you can be my cite too!
No, I know a few women, myself included who are very open sexually, but have a very difficult time orgasming. I personally can’t get off on anything less than a vibrator.
It’s not any short coming on the guys part, some of them are very talented, it’s just bad wiring.
I can’t get off without external clitoral stimulation. Can do it without a vibrator, but it has to be manual. Intercourse doesn’t do it.
Fortunately I have it down to a science. Unfortunately it’s hard to teach so if I’m tied up I can’t get off
Teach them before they tie you up! Before!
That’s not what I meant.
a lot of it depends on technique… this is probably crossing the TMI line by leaps and bounds… but you asked.
most women will have an orgasm more easily from clitoral stimulation. i dated a guy once who thrust in a certain way that his pelvis would stimulate the clitoris… i almost always had orgasms with him because of it. vaginal stimulation is a much trickier situation for most women, and as such lots of women don’t have orgasms strictly from vaginal stimulation.
if you’re doing something that is stimulating both vaginally and clitorally you’ll probably bring a girl to orgasm every time.
as for your friend and her jeans, that’s a clitoral stimulation. she may be hyper sensitive or have an enhancement (of sorts). my girlfriends who have clitoral piercings swear that even wearing underwear can give them an orgasm…
the ability to have an orgasm is SLIGHTLY tied to the person’s openness to sex, but not as much as i think you’re trying to attribute to it. if you’re really stressed and not so much “in the moment” you’ll never orgasm, male or female. but if you’re really open and into what’s going on and concentrating on your body and what you’re feeling it should be easier.
*takes off teacher hat*
Stress makes me hornier. But I’m weird.
Diss you need to pay the bills, pick up the laundry, your in laws are coming to town this weekend…..
Well, just keep this in mind if there’s any type of apocalyptic event or anything….I’ll be a LOT of fun to have around while we figure out how to deal with the zombies!
WOW!! Killing zombies and horny women…. EXCELLENT!! Where do I sign up?
stress makes me SUPER horny, but if i don’t relax enough during foreplay or while we’re having sex… there’s not going to be an orgasm. which will of course only add to my stress because i didn’t get what i wanted/needed.
Shorty… see above!!
That sucks….
no kidding.
Interesting lesson, and that does make sense, I do have a huge….piano.
How’s that for TMI?
Okay, the TMI is supposed to go at the beginning, like a content warning, got it? Silly boy.
Re earlier, less TMI post, I personally think sex is a couple phenomena. Both have to have a vested interest in the other. But, like Canuck, that’s just IMO. I still say, pick right and stick with it. We’ve done that for 23 years; my parents did it for almost 45. (No pun intended.
)
Worst sex partner I ever had (at least more than once) was also the one with the, um, grandest piano. It was visually stimulating, but attached to somebody with no sense of play or fun about sex, no skill at foreplay, and some type of sexual learning disorder as I finally determined he was untrainable. Nice enough guy, just ….lousy in the sack.
that’s disappointing. the most recent guy was quitewell endowed and knew what he was doing, it’s a bummer we broke up. although, he’s being extra flirty recently … 2010 could be a good year yet.
Oh, well, I’m very happy with the guy I’ve got now; that one was just…yeah. It’s like having a racehorse that you know could win, but who can’t be trained to get in the damn gate!
i had a 1 night stand with this one guy… drop dead gorgeous firefighter. fun to talk to and hang out with and he was not badly endowed… but it was AWFUL. even being a drop dead gorgeous firefighter couldn’t convince me to go back for seconds. it was such a shame.
Giving an idiot a tool doesn’t make him a master craftsman.
Even a master craftsman with shoddy tools is still a master craftsman.
Being a master craftsman and having the right tools seems like a winning combination…my 2cents.
This is not from personal experience, but I have had a lot of women tell me that guys who are really good looking tend to count on sliding by on their looks. (BTW, a lesbian friend said the same thing about women.
) But I think Steve’s assessment is probably correct.
Isn’t it part of the GIGO phenomena?
I also had a one night stand with a very well endowed gentleman, it was terrible. It was just so uncomfortable and he kept ramming into my cervix and I didn’t like it at all.
I don have a good friend who is very well endowed and he considers it as much a blessing as it is a curse on the grounds that it scares off more women than it attracts. He’s found it helps to get his partner good and distracted with his amazing tongue skills before revealing what he’s got in his pants. He’s a very considerate lover and knows when he hits cervix (some women are deeper than others, so he can go all the way in on some but not others) and knows that hitting the cervix is bad. Also, did I mention his amazing tongue skills?
Um…..am I the only one who likes having her cervix hit? I have to be super aroused, but it can actually trigger an orgasm.
I don’t think it has *too* much to do with how sexually open a woman is …. I know from quite a few years of experience that there are certain times when, no matter how much you want it, it just isn’t there, and isn’t going to be there. Luckily, that’s really rare for me. I think that difficulty (if it happens the way I described) might have to do more with where I’m at in the cycle of hormones than anything else. Maybe.
Hormones, mind set, stress, medications, etc. The list can be a long one for most women. Our mental and emotional state affect us much more, in my opinion, than a man’s does. Of course, stress and other things can affect a man, but it seems to have less of an effect overall. Ever see that guy who talks about men’s brains being about boxes and women’s are one big area that’s constantly sparking from one topic to another. Sums it up perfectly, again….in my opinion.
No, see, I was talking:
Mind/Emotional State = Ready
Physical side = Will Not Cooperate
Rare, but it happens.
I’m probably also going way into TMI territory here (seems to be the theme for the day!) but have you tried a little extra OTC lube on those days? Couldn’t hurt, might help.
silicone based is the best stuff for that… water based will just dry you out more and petroleum based is just all sorts of really bad for using internally.
Even better (and it has helped, in those very rare cases): i’ve got a mint-chocolate sensitizing cream – *not* OTC.
Ooooh! Neat!
nao, i’ve got one similar. it’s called “nympho niagara”. one tiny little bit of it and we went for like 8 hours. sooooo sore the next morning but man was it fun!
This thread is relevant to my interests…..where might I obtain this wonder elixir?
canuck… i got mine at a “slumber party”. it’s a company that does in home parties of toys, lotions, games, lingerie, etc. similar to a tupperware party in that you see the products at the party and then order them from there. i know there are a number of companies that do the same sort of thing but mine was called “slumber party”. you could probably go on amazon and look for nympho niagara or just look up slumber party on google.
We have several companies that do that sort of thing here, too, and I just attended the Taboo Show (which is a convention of sexual and erotic related companies)…….I must not have been looking at the right things. I did however pick up the fabulous We-Vibe II
Oh, gotcha! Yeah, I’ve had that happen too.
Well, to jump back into the conversation and add to the tmi, out of the three friends I was referring to, two of them are a hell of a lot more sexually open and experienced than I am. I’ve been single for awhile now, so any orgasm I’m getting is self-inflicted. When (in the course of a conversation about vibrators vs. manual) I mentioned that I’m usually good for two (and that’s doing it myself, mind you) they looked at me like I sprouted five extra heads that all simultaneously started speaking Swahili.
One with a toy. Umpteen with an enthusiastic guy!
Nothing beats the right companion.
I’m the opposite. None with a guy, umpteen with a toy. :/
Or umpteen with a guy and a toy!
There you go!
PS The right guy will bring the right toy.
That PS is the truth!
My first husband was very offended by the idea of me .. achieving orgasm during sex using my hand as opposed to just intercourse. That was not very fun. Consequently we had bad sex.
After him, the um. Few lovers I took, I decided I didn’t give a damn what they thought and got myself off during sex.
Current hubby has no problem with toy + him. So that’s fun. Also he has no problem with me doing it myself while we’re doin’ it.
Dude, are you serious? Your first hubby was that much of a dink? I don’t give a rat’s ass how she gets off as long as she gets off.
We (the ladies) knew there was a reason we liked you, Rando. Nothing like a rational man.
Yup, that was one of my ex-husbands Stupid Sex Rules, too. Good lord but that man was insecure!
Well, it wasn’t even a toy vs. guy conversation as we were strictly speaking about self-love at the time. However, when I did mention my average my one friends says, “I’ve never had more than one, ever.”
I haz a sad for them.
I usually give myself too. Unless I took myself to dinner, then it’s 3-5.
TWO godddamnit
Yeah, if you spent the money on dinner, bitch better give you 3-5 at least!
Yeah, what DU said! You tell yourself Charro, don’t let yourself slack on the orgasms you owe yourself!
Well, that’s yer problem right there! My five extra heads always start speaking English first, then move on to French, before they start in with the Swahili. Ya gotta start slow!
Ah, excellent point.
You’ve obviously never been in the military. The women rarely do the work in my experience. Anywhere else, this would work. Not from the military stand-point though.
too literal man, too literal…..
*shakes head*
You make me sad with your obvious jealousy.
The biggest bad-ass I’ve ever met is a Major in the Marine Corps. She was a CO of a Marine company in Operation Iraqi Freedom. She’s commanded companies in combat operations in Iraq, Bosnia, Haiti. She’s in the Guinness Book of Records for being the first woman Combat Engineer to move up through the ranks. She did not achieve all that by “rarely doing the work”.
I’m sure she slept her way to the top… *note HEAVILY ladden with sarcasm*
Well, duh. And with ALL of the Joint Chiefs!
Did she do it appropriately up the ENTIRE Chain of Command?
Why do you think they provide condoms in the survival kits?!
Oh, and she used all the right forms. In triplicate.
Even the Wheelbarrow form?
The head MTI of my Flight in Basic Training was a female. And she terrified most of the men she met. And not because of her looks, as she was nice looking. Ssgt Rebecka S Nordin. And that’s been since 1988, if that tells you how much of an impression she made. She could be nice, and she could make you wish hell would open up and swallow you. And all with the coolness of Will Smith in MIB.
I hear that! Very few women I know who made the military a career ever did so by sitting on their butts.
of course they didn’t get there by sitting on their butts… they were laying on their backs. geez ed, get it right.
No $hit?!?! I never experienced that.. man, so that’s what I missed out on.
{http://video.nytimes.com/video/2009/12/27/us/1247466272631/women-at-arms.html?WT.mc_id=NYT-E-I-NYT-E-AT-1230-L23}
Biggest threat to women serving in Iraq? Fellow servicemen.
I’m not saying none of them work. I’m saying a lot don’t. I was in the Navy, and even there, away from direct combat, women became a burden. Ever had to deal with being under-manned thanks to a girl getting pregnant just to get out of deployment?
PS: I’m woman.
Oh, and one other thing. The Army still doesn’t allow women in direct combat. The ones stationed in Afghanistan and Iraq are pencil pushers. Up until recently, they didn’t even get combat training. So I’d wager that this was strictly for the photo op.
Men have been fighting wars without the help of women for thousands of years. I say now it’s their turn.
Men have been fighting wars over women for thousands of years.
Fixed.
Men have been fighting wars over women and little boys and money and land and God and stupidity and to kill tyrants for thousands of years. Then fixed more.
Men have been fighting wars ALONGSIDE women for thousands of years.
There, I fixed it. Finally.
Name one war in which women fought alongside men in equal or greater numbers.
Children’s Crusade; Peasants Crusade; Six Days War; Battle of Stalingrad; Battle of Lennongrad;
Not to mention the Filene’s Basement Running of the Brides.
That’s just a War of Women. No sane male would even be present.
“That’s just a War of Crazy Women. No sane person would even be present.”
There. Fixed that for you.
Lol…for damn sure, mabsba!
Queen Boudicca led a revolt against the Romans’ occupation of England, for just one example.
Besides, you’re putting conditions on your demand for information that I never said anything about: namely, “in equal or greater numbers” — what does that have to do with anything?
But…but…you mean we don’t get to add things to what you said and then expect you to justify them? You’re soooooo mean.
Sounds like a liberal trick to me..
PS My son’s friend was Queen Boudicca for Medieval Day at school in 9th grade. They each had to research a famous character, write a paper on him/her and dress up as that character for the day. He was William Wallace.
“Medieval Day”? She’s beyond beyond Medieval – that period’s not even Dark Ages; she died in 60 or 61.
But that’s a cool idea, to get kids interested in history that way.
Hmm. I thought that was the name. I must be mistaken. I went to a REALLY lousy high school and didn’t learn much history and only took American Western history in college.
Yes, they go to a very good private school and do lots of cool things. In 8th grade they did a mock archaeological dig — each class made artifacts from a specific culture, then buried them, and excavated another class’s site. Then had to determine the other culture from the artifacts.
That’s another awesome idea!
I was guessing that perhaps they could’ve allowed the kids some leeway in the time period, especially if they could get them interested in the history and participate in the dressing-up.
One of my high school English teachers had an annual day when everyone had to dress as a character from Canturbury Tales. As I spent 98% of my time in high school trying to blend in with the walls, I skipped that day.
Now it kinda sounds like fun. Youth is wasted on the young….
No. No way at this school. Everything is done accurately. The dressing-up is not optional; it’s part of the curriculum. The history teachers are amazing.
For middle school we did a field trip to a local mission and actually got to help with some of the archeological stuffs. Mostly it was cleaning off pits of things that they’d already dug up, but it was still really awesome. My elementary school also had a colonial day where everyone dressed up like someone from colonial America, and then we spent the whole day doing crafts. Mostly the types of crafts that would have been considered work in colonial times, now that I think about it. Candle making, soap making, sewing, rope making, lantern making…
More info on Boudica, if you’re interested at all:
{http://www.unc.edu/celtic/catalogue/boudica/catalog.html}
Somebody has to supervise… …
Okay, I can’t think of anything to make that clever.
All the men felt sorry for poor Melinda. She had yet to meet her quota of Dead Terrorists for the third straight month, so they all opted not to fight for one whole day to let her play catch up.
*snerk*
I got one!
Girl Power: Respect it BEE-YOTCH!
This is my rifle, this is my… uh uh uh hole… One is for fighting and one is for control…..
well hey, there are pics making fun of women that aren’t true, now here’s one on women’s side that probably isn’t totally accurate either….
The first thing I did when I saw this picture was quote Tony Stark.
“Good God, you’re a woman. I’d apologize but isn’t that what we’re going for here? I thought of you as a soldier first.”
RDJr… *drools*
*drools with jane*
I can’t wait to see Sherlock Holmes.
Good movie, he does spend a considerable time topless….. I coulda gone without that.
I’m not sure what your problem is…..
One of my friends told me it was too long but if ILPB is right and he’s shirtless half the time I can’t comprehend how this could be true.
I’d watch many hours if it meant seeing RDJ shirtless the majority of the time
Too long? WTF….? My fiance said the same thing: “What was that? Four hours?” It was shorter than “Avatar”, but then, it did have some slow parts, and I could see how some adreno-junkies (like him) might think it was too long or slow. I think he basically liked it.
(Ya never know. Decent praise for a movie, for him: It was all right. High praise? It was pretty good.)
That sounds like my friend. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say she loved a movie. She spent the entire afternoon picking apart plot holes in Star Trek. I’m like, it’s Star Trek, it’s supposed to have plot holes!
OMG – it IS him. Why are you making friends with my fiance? LOL
Yeah, he picks apart stuff all the time … once upon a time, I was the wet blanket in a group. I’m now the one who just wants to be fecking entertained. He’s picking apart stuff and pointing out stuff I never even noticed . . . sometimes I don’t wanna notice. It’s like, “Look, can’t you just enjoy it?” Does it ALWAYS have to make sense? When it’s a blockbuster-type movie, it doesn’t have to be perfect; they weren’t shooting for Citizen Kane.
Anyway you slice it, even if he kinda liked it, he’s not overly enthusiastic. I think it just takes a lot for him to get juiced about anything. But then, for someone who likes to climb (or fly, in the past) or drag race for fun, watching a movie is probably pretty low on the enjoyment list.
I enjoy picking apart movies, but on the rare occasion I go see a movie, I prefer to go see it with someone who also enjoys picking them apart.
I will if it’s bad … big time.
If it’s something I’m enjoying, that might be because it’s good in other ways, even if the plot had holes, or was nonsensical in some way. If a movie has good acting, has a good score, a good story, is shot in a way that’s mesmerizing or beautiful, or intense; or it has a combination of any of these things, it draws me in, and I can really enjoy it, even if it has some flaws.
I kinda have a three rank system for movies
1. So bad I’m not going to even bother picking it apart
2. Mediocre to really good and now I’m going to pick it apart because I enjoy that.
3. ZOMG That was Fsking amazing and I can’t pick it apart!
Number three is very rare though.
3. = Titanic? Can’t even been said with straight face……..
3. First Transformers…
3. Ironman
3. 300
2. The Incredible Hulk (not Eric Banna $hitty one)
Ugh. You give the Transformers movie a “3″? Dude, if you weren’t a Transformers fan as a kid, it just sucked.
I’m just glad they didn’t recycle the old theme song for that!
If you were a Transformers fan as a kid, it just sucked.
There, I fixed it for you.
I said First Transformers….. Second was a 2.
If you were a GI Joe fan as a kid, it just sucked. There I fixed it for you.
Well unless he masquerades as a tomboyish woman…
My friend also absolutely hates any talking of any kind during movies. Last summer when we went to see Half-Blood Prince there was a scene where everyone is sitting around talking and Mr. Weasley is sitting in a chair with this weird expression on his face and a pillow in his lap and it looked so unintentionally ridiculous that me and another friend just started cracking up. My one friend was pissed at the end of the movie. To the point that I was angry because she was so angry.
Your friend would HATE me. Whenever I go to the movies with one of my friends, I constantly lean over and crack jokes (very quietly) about what’s going on. Even if I like the movie. There’s something about this particular friend that makes me want to crack her up during movies.
I know, I’m bad. No cookies for me, right?
I’m the same way. That’s half the reason I was so angry because I was really good for most of the movie but I have issues with people telling me what to do and telling me that I wasn’t allowed to laugh at that particular spot because she didn’t deem it funny ticked me off.
Although I prefer quiet during movies, laughter is not the same as noisy talking, and you are entitled to your sense of humor (warped as it may be
).
What about making out?
Ew. Sorry, but usually I go with my SON and my husband, so no.
Wait, you mean other people? Well, as long as they’re reasonably quiet and it’s not “Finding Nemo” that’s full of kids. If your kids are too young to deal with someone making out in a movie theater, then they shouldn’t be at adult (not x, just themes) movies.
So you’re against the “Popcorn” trick?
ILPB, I’ve always questioned whether the salt wouldn’t be horribly uncomfortable on that area….
I promise, mabs, you won’t hear what I say to my friend, just her laughter.
In the middle of the first Harry Potter, when Filch is looking for an invisibility cloaked Harry in the library and says I’ll find you (or something like that), it was really quiet in the theatre and then suddenly this little voice called out “oh, no, you won’t”. The entire audience lost it. It was great.
At my son’s school’s production of Othello, someone brought their one-year-old. It started laughing during Desdemona’s death scene (where she isn’t quite dead yet). My son and his friends were sitting right in front of the baby and kept cracking up. I found out later from the technical director that although the actors couldn’t hear the baby, they heard the suppressed laughter and couldn’t figure out what was going on.
It was good! Saw it Sunday night!
It was no “Avatar”, but RDJ … mmmm. The dialogue, at times, flies fast and furious … def. one I’ll have to see again on DVD. Or buy.
Aren’t we all forgetting what the real issue here is? It’s another mother fvcking EWAdams LOLame!!!!!
I’m under the impression it was understood. It’s kind of like compalinign to the Manager at McDonalds. S/He’s not paid enough to care and really has no power to do anything nayway.
Agreed. No man would write that.
Must be a chick, or a severe case of momma’s boy.
Could be both = Perez Hilton.
us women-folk do NOT claim that thing. he’s got a penis… he’s one of yours. we have our own hilton to worry about. ugh.
Aaack! You mentioned it! Now, I need a shower.
Sorry we dropped him a godd two years ago, womenfolk said nothing until now. Sorry the Statute of Limitations is up.. it is officially a woman.
noooooooooo, it’s all yours.
How about we start a new category: Celebs that no gender wants.
1. Perez Hilton
2. Rosie O’Donnell
3. Rosanne Barr
I used to like Rosie…..before she lost her marbles…..sigh.
4. anyone with the last name hilton
5. anyone with the last name kardashian
6. anyone with the last name Gosselin.
Oh, those poor kids.
Hey! They’re set! In years to come they can always do a book deal, “I was a Gosselin.” I can see it now.
Unfortunately, all the proceeds from the book sales will go directly for their decades-long, thrice weekly, intense therapy. They’ll have to get their own reality shows. Oh, the horror!!!
*runs away, screaming in terror*
Did you guys ever hear about the Dionn Quintuplets? Our government screwed them up royally.
Yes, I have. And I also know a little bit about their exploitation. To be fair, shouldn’t their parents share in some of that blame?
Oh, definitely, Jane, the parents hold at least 50%, if not more, responsibility.
Oh, I know a few guys who might say/write something like that… where others could see. And they aren’t “ball-less”.
They do, however, have very, very warped senses of humor…
i’ll give you guys with warped sense of humor. however, EWAsshat’s been around here for long enough to know that (s)he has no sense of humor whatsoever and definitely meant what was written on this caption. it’s quite sad, really.
Oh, I agree. I’ve seen enough of this person’s “lols” to know that there’s no sense of humor in this… “person” whatever gender he, she, or it, might be.
I suspect that EWAdams IS an administrator- that’s the only explanation possible for this garbage to get on here so frequently.
You should read the comments on it’s page, whining about the rigging in the voting. And complain because supposed conservatives complained about some of it’s lolames. I chuckled and thought about all the complaining here, from both sides.
It’s pretty much a bipartisan movement that is pro-funny and anti-being preached to.
Yep. And at least be accurate when you preach to people.
That isn’t typical it is just nature running its course
Girl rushing forward: Hay guise! Imma soldier!
Guys sitting down: lolz.
She’s got an M-16. That means she’s an REMF. Which means she’s not doing *any* work at all.
The gun’s almost as big as she is.
That’s what she said.
Is she a general? Cause my private just snapped to attention….
The only “work” they do is spreading their legs to get knocked up and sent home to collect welfare, even then the multiple guys that do them are doing more of the “work”.
Hey, it actually five hours for this incredibly predictable comment to appear. The trolls are slow today.
Troll I don’t see no Troll….. that there is just ummmm something like a wart…. to be removed.
Valid point. I really was at a loss for a word that I could type without a lot of asterisks.
I’ve the liquid nitrogen right here! Shall we?
I know this is unsolicited advice, but when I see this level of misogyny I can’t help but think “Dude….you’ll be a lot happier and more well-adjusted in general when you stop trying to have sex with women and just come out of the closet. Seriously.”
hmmm sex with women….. **holds out arms for hug with Diss**
*hugs!*
Heh. Turned you down, didn’t they? Or did they laugh at it?
Speaking of sexism, I heard a report on the BBC this morning that a businessman in Asia (Japan? Korea? I didn’t catch the name) is opening a women-only parking garage.
“Hmm,” I thought. “It must be a safety thing, allowing women to feel safe from predation.”
Boy was I wrong: the businessman wants to take advantage of “women’s ‘different’ sense of space”: all the parking spaces are three feet larger than a standard spot.
I thought he’d have cameras for “protection” under every car door, and signs “Skirts Required”.
Kind of what I was expecting, too.
Well, ya know, he’s Asian … so he doesn’t drive any better than his potential customers …..
[OHHHH! She DIDN'T go there!]
Racist! Belgian! Socialist! Elebenty! Israeli IDF! Murderer!
Hey, is it racist if it’s true?
(Speaking of sex–as we have been–and stereotypes: the half-Japanese guy I dated? Smallest equipment I have EVER —umm—seen in my entire life.)
Ok, the driving thing, I honestly don’t know any bad Asian drivers. The penis thing on the other hand….
Anthropologically speaking, yes, Asian men have the smallest penis size while men of African descent have the largest. Conversely, to make things fit, evolution has decided that Asian women have smaller vaginas, and women of African descent have the largest. I have a co-worker who is half Asian, half Aferican-American and I sometimes wonder what side of the genetic lottery she ended up with down there.
When we lived in CA, we used to say that you could tell the Asian-Americans from the Asian immigrants because they drove just as fast as the rest of the Californians.
But I can see why Asian immigrants wouldn’t be good drivers: an office mate in graduate school who was from Shanghai told me he had never even ridden in a car until he came to the US … in his late 20s.
I was just kidding w/the driving thing.
In the genitalia department, I don’t think African men are all THAT big . . . from what I’ve read by sex researchers, it’s only the flaccid contest that they’re winning every time. Overall erect size runs about the same.
Of course, were those sex researchers mostly white males?
Are you trying to imply that they were biased? What? How can that be?
But I believe you are correct about the measurements. Can’t say from personal experience, however.
PS I was replying to DU — my Asian friends WERE mostly terrible drivers; my Asian American ones the same as everyone else.
The one that I was with was long and skinny. Too long and skinny.
Are you implying that women like things longer?
No I think wider.
Yes, definitely wider.
i’d still park in the boys lot… i’m the asshole who parks my big old suv in the spot where both people on the sides parked over the line. i’ve got a sunroof and fold-able mirrors… they’ve come in handy before.
Please tell me you ain’t the a$$hat who parks ON the line on my driver’s side? My door accidently leaves marks.
nope. i will always park BETWEEN the lines… even if that means that you only have about 4″ between my car and your door. you parked over the line… figure it out, asshole.
I park dead center almost everytime. Unless you’re the a-hole in a luxury car or sports car (or rice bruner with $20K worth of crap taped on) taking up two spots at an angle, then I park at an angle RIGHT next to you.
i park in the center too… i was referring to the 4″ when the jackass is way over the line and even being dead center he’s only got that much space.
i’ve done that so many times at the mall or at the hospital parking garage… i’m pretty surprised my tires haven’t been slashed or my car keyed before.
despite having a large SUV i’ll park in spots that most people in a geo metro would pass by because of people over the line. if i can fit in there, i’m taking it. the person over the line will have to figure out how to get in their car and get out of the spot, that’s not my problem.
::prepares to slash shortright’s tires next time::
I smell a cat fight brewing… CAT FIGHT!!!
I’m the guy that will park a mile away from the door in a vain attempt at avoiding dings. Invariably some dipsh*t with a piece of crap insists on parking right next to me. I just don’t get it.
How many spots you taking up? 1 or 2?
just the one.. I’ve never felt comfortable taking up two.
Then the other person is the a$$hat. Parking rules are in effect.
*waves at eds*
i’m the one that parks next to you. but my car isn’t a piece of crap… it’s just big. i do it because i know it annoys the owner.
yep, my life is JUST that lame sometimes…
I love ya anyway, but if you do that again you might see some of those special lawn privileges evaporate.
but i’m naked… you won’t kick me off the lawn.
Got me there… *sigh*
In the parking garage at our mall I try to park next to one of the support columns. That reduces my chances of getting dinged by 50%. Our old van got scratched BADLY once by some asshole at the mall.
But what if the person who parked over the line HAD to park that way because the other idiot who was there parked that way, and that was the very last spot? Huh? What then?
Sucks to be that person..
Yeah, I KNOW. Once, I had to park that way at a convenience store when it was very busy, but several people took off while I was inside, and when I came out, I was pissed because some ASSHAT had parked dead center between the lines, all proper and stuff . . . which meant that I couldn’t get into the driver’s side of my car. He yelled at me that I shouldn’t have parked “wrong”. I could’ve have CHEERFULLY ripped him a new ASSH*LE. Not figuratively–literally.
Or the one who takes the only two shady spots because you bought something too big to fit into a normal-sized space? (Shade is VERY important here.)
Note: I saw a fancy new car straddling all FOUR of the only shady spots in a lot that had been keyed. Can’t say I approve, but also can’t say I didn’t smirk. (I know, I’m bad, and me being a deity yesterday and everything. Very bad for my karma.)
my car definitely fits in normal spots and i really don’t care about shade… i’m more for the shortest walking distance. if it coincides with shade, score. if not, oh well.
had i seen that fancy car obviously parked where they DIDN’T want anyone right next to it i’d park RIGHT next to it. i’ve done it before. you see the brand new car at the VERY far corner of the parking lot with 20 empty spaces all around it… i’ll park on the close edge of the spot right next to them (within my spot completely and forsaking the short walking distance) just to piss them off. it’s a car… it’s not that freaking special. park by everyone else, douchebag.
Well, now I don’t really have a problem with that. It’s their car; if they want to park at the end of the lot to minimize the chance of some moron slamming a car door into it, that’s their right. When I don’t have a passenger, I always park with my passenger side up against the cart rack so I won’t get MORE dents in it from idiots parking next to me.
The ones that get me are 1) the car taking up 2 spots in a hospital parking garage that EVERYONE knows has not enough spots in it, and 2) the oversized car in the garage spots marked ‘compact cars only’, blocking the travel lane. Grrr.
This is the solution: {http://xkcd.com/562/}
SO YOU’RE THE ONE!!
It’s not so much that I think I’m special, but I really did spend quite a bit on the car and I think that’s a better alternative to taking up two spots close to the door. In fact, even when I drove an older car I would park way out there.
“The work” being posing for cameras in order to promote the military and give it a certain image. The men worked just as hard as her to get where they were, but they don’t get a publicity photo. Why? Because they’re not female.
This, my friends, is sexism. You can get any military person (M/F) to take a pose at least twice as credible and badass as hers, but this is the image we see. Why we see it has nothing to do with her skills and abilities, but only with the fact that she is a woman in the military.
I don’t know which gender is being screwed the worst here: women for being used as promotional material, or men for being considered less badass than women doing the same thing as them.
The only thing I know is being screwed is reality.
Just so we’re sure you get it: this is not a USArmy publicity photo. Who knows who took it, or for what purpose. You’re anger is funny, because it’s in response to a LOL.
I think Philip fell off his trampoline onto the fence post and in the process of removing the pole from said a$$ his sense of humor was removed as well.
I don’t think he removed the pole…
He removed the sense of humor and left the pole intact?
I’m surprised there was room in his ass next to the co…uh, rooster already up there.
Philip gets all frothy over 99.999% of the US military lols. It’s become amusing.
*lies back smoking a cigarette*
Oh, and it was damn good, too!
Please accept this shiny trophy that says, “All our internets are belong to you”
Reality is such a SLUT!
I’m getting that on a t-shirt.
Does EWAdams ever visit the comment section?
Although I’m not completely convinced this guy isn’t some sort of evil spirit fulfilling all of our worst humor-related fears.
How about we ALL go to it’s page, friend it, then rate every LOLame down? Coordinated bi-partisan assault?
i don’t have anyone friended on PK and i don’t really want to start with that one…
Then at least DAILY go there and rate him down. And flood the comments on the LOLames?
I hear yah. And I vote it down every time I see it too. I mean actually going to it’s page, and making it deal with all of us. Low scores on it’s page, and all of us telling it what we think of it’s lolames on each lame it makes. That’s got to wear it down after a while.
Someone mentioned that it might be an admin. That would make a lot of sense at this point. I don’t think low scores make any difference. If it IS an admin, this behavior (making bad LOLS and posting them with low ratings) is even more shameful. JMO
well, if you consider the number of page hits and comments each of its LOLs gets… it’d make sense for the admins to keep putting them up.
i mean, we spent a good 50 comments talking about sex ^^ up there. they don’t care WHAT we’re talking about but that we’re coming back to the page and we’re leaving comments. this one is already over 200…
From reading the comments on it’s page, I don’t think it’s an admin. It’s whining about the admins. I still say about 300 of us friend it, then all leave a comment along the lines of “We’re mad as hell and we aren’t going to take it anymore!”
Overall, not funny enough to warrant being up as much as she was, but she did occasionally score on the funny, if I remember correctly. And at least she was TRYING to be funny, not all preachy!
We’ve been bitching constantly about him for months now. A few have even changed their names to reflect their hatred of him. I went a couple rounds with him a while back over whether or not the LOLs actually needed to be funny. He insisted that it’s perfectly good to be thoughtful. Ugh.
He/she is just too preachy & sarcastic. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, provided it being done to serve a genuine purpose, but EWA just seems to do it for the sake of being preachy & sarcastic.
Typical, a lazy woman who’s probably a homemaker while her husband is out working his ass off has so much spare time that she can make captions about gender workload inequality when she’s probably never worked a day of her life. I’m sure putting a two year old to sleep or making a sack lunch for your schoolchildren is such a burdon. Have fun watching soap operas or posting on myspace about how insensitive your husband is for the rest of the day.
Sorry we already had the IDIOT of the DAY award. Please come back tomorrow with your dumb a$$ery. Thank you.
of course he is a insenstive jer, who never notices how lcean the floor is when he gets home. he is to busy working in that steel mill, off having fun with his guy friends with molten metal, its all play to them.
Wow, you have internet access in your cave?
Psst, Ivan, I think that’s actually his mom’s basement that he’s decorated to look like a cave – he thinks it makes him look cool.
Naww, you have to put a few years on to get to that level of bitter.
Oh, wait: He’s in mom’s basement because he lost the house in divorce! That’s right – I get it now.
It must have been a female judge…she heard him speak and gave everything to the wife. Can’t say as I blame her. LOL
They split it all down the middle, then gave her the bigger half.
There’s nothing quite like country lyrics! “sleeping single in a double bed”, “old flames can’t hold a candle to you”…
You know a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows.
I’m gonna hire a wino to decorate our home/
So you’ll feel more at ease here and you won’t need to roam/
We’ll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall/
And a neon sign to point the way to the bathroom down the hall!
I loved that song as a kid. Used to sing it at the top of my lungs. That one and “Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble.” Drove my mom NUTS…heehee
Dude! Is that YOU watching outside my window seat? I’m going to call the cops if you don’t get outta here!
He’s waiting for you to put the pie on the windowsill to cool, so he can steal it.
My pie is often on the windowseat, as that’s where the best light in the living room is . . .
Dude, I like how your ranting all that machismo nonsense while your avatar is pink. Kind of hard to be macho man with a pink avatar, isn’t it?
whats wrong with pink? pink was bitter troll’s favorit power ranger
That’s cause she was cute… wait, I mean, um… What are you talking about bitter troll? I know nothing about the Power Rangers, and I certainly didn’t watch them growing up…
Anyway, Macho wannabe’s like that don’t like pink because it’s a “girly colour”.
Oh, and for the record- the blue power ranger was my favorite. Ah, Billy… I’ve always had a thing for the nerds, even when I was a little kid.
Pink was dumb. Yellow was where it was at. She was cute, Asian, smart enough to understand everything blue said and able to translate it for everyone else who didn’t understand the big words. I always wanted to be the yellow ranger.
I loved her to and felt that she didn’t get enough air time. Pink was annoying and I couldn’t stand to look at her but she got all the play. Now, when she left and they replaced her with the chick with the australian accent I was cool with that.
God… I am such a nerd.
*too*
I always thought Trini and Billy should hook up. She was the only one who understood him! I was sad when she left the show and they hadn’t done anything.
You’ve obviously never tried putting a kid to sleep.
she best be fighting her way back to the kitchen, make bitter troll a bacon sandwich!
Mmmmm……bacon.
booty wench! fetch the bitter troll a bacon sandwich!
-http://www.aolcdn.com/comicsalliance/madpalin.jpg-
*perks up* Bacon?
It’s baaaaaaconnnn!!!!1!
You can only imagine my joy when I learned that Taco Bell would happily add bacon to anything for $0.25.
because thats what taco bell needs…strips of pig fat.
Crispy delicious pig fat, yes.
Bitter, you seem bitterer than normal today. Bad night under the bridge?
irl sleeping under a tree, kinda homeless at the moment. and its cold out there
O_O
Dude…
Virtual hugs aren’t going to give you a place to sleep tonight but it’s all I can do from here.
*hugz*
Do you have anywhere you can go?
*gives Bitter an E-hug too* If there’s anything we can do to help, let us know.
bitter love message me.
She’s a patriot. Something the fat, lazy trailer park queens and bitchy SUV-driving soccer moms probably don’t recognize because they think patriotism means waving an American flag at a NASCAR event or spending $450 for a Coach bag to help revive the economy. Attributing this action to her gender is demeaning and offensive. The person who captioned this photo needs to get over her/himself and see a marriage counselor. Or go and frigging enlist, like the subject of the photo did.
Oh, honey, you got NO idea how much most of us would like to see this particular captioner do that. ….but what does that have to do with “trailer park queens” and “soccer moms”? (You know, when you put that together, it sounds like it could be some type of competitive reality show. A total trainwreck of a competitive reality show….)
No kidding. I watched every episode of Colbert’s trip (the best, of course, was the haircut!). Didn’t have to watch any of the rabid ‘yay troops’ commentators’ trips because NONE of them went.
My personal support is helping the homeless vets we have here by collecting warm clothes (hey, it may not be Canadian cold, but we have people freeze to death here every year). We also help the local VA.
Talk is easy.
1) Take cover =/= Sit around
2) Work =/= Absorb enemy bullets
Though it’s probably just a photo op (NOT work)
This picture belongs on failblog
Are there any windows left to lick on this shortbus? I think this pic supports the fact that 90% of women are incompetent with weapons seeing how she can’t even handle it properly. She must have gotten her training from huntin “wabbits wif Elmer Fudd huhuhuhu”
Yes, because this one photo of one woman is indicative of 90% of the female population.
I would be happy to show you that this woman can handle a weapon if you’d be so kind as to stand at the far end of the local shooting range.
He just wants his weapon handled. No way, Jose.
Look at you, spoiling all my fun!
FTR, The Amazing Rando is secure enough in his masculinity that he does not feel even remotely threatened by the fact that women can do most things as well and very often better than men. In fact, the only two things I think we have a real monopoly on are peeing standing up, and making sperm. And I’m okay with that. I’m not so afraid of women that I have to insult them at every turn like this douche bag. Fear not, little chauvinist, just because they have breasts doesn’t mean they’re scary monsters. It’s gonna be okay.
Thats not a girl its a guy because women are not allowd on the front line… they are all in the kitchens and laundry rooms
NO!!! They are waiting for her to get ready so they can go out on patrol. She probably looking for her eyeliner or some crap.
The men already finished the work and are taking a break. The woman is just posing for a picture.
Or she’s taking her sweet time accomplishing whatever they already did….
thank God she is standing up, otherwise the men would have to.
Bitch get in the kitchen and make me a sammich!
You missed out on the sandwich-making. It was demanded by a bunch of basement-dwellers like you, further up. You need to be quicker.
I keep hoping most of these guys are joking. If not, then I have to apologize on behalf of my entire gender.
You could, but don’t. It wouldn’t matter, really, because it’s not coming from the right party, and frankly, we’re just about getting used to it.
Thank you for the thought, though.
This is why we loooovves our Rando!
army pron is awesome =D
Lol, more like
“Typical, the men sit around and the woman is an attention whore”
Unfunny sexual-stereotype lol is unfunny.
Woman picks up gun, men hit the ground. Pretty simple really.
Women are doing all the work? Last I knew, there have been far more men killed in combat than women. And don’t quote me, but I’m pretty sure women aren’t even required to register for the Selective Service, even if they just want a driver’s license. Yeah, women are doing all the work.
What work? She’s not kicking in any doors like that! n
I lol’d when I saw the picture, then lol’d again when I saw that there were 508 comments.