PARENTS
PARENTS
Ruining children’s lives since the beginning of time.
(Westboro Baptist Church child)
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Well that’s hardly fair. I’m not a parent but if I were I’d hate to be lumped in with the parents in the WBC.
Don’t you know ALL parents are the same…. it’s a prerequisite.
Public Service Announcement: This is atypical of most Christian fiaths, so please let’s not have a flame war here about religion, instead let’s make fun of the WBC for being radical nut bags…….. Thank you.
**music plays and people sing** “The more you know…..”
But….but….if we don’t have a flame war, how the hell am I supposed to toast my marshmallows?
On your smoking hot body… I mean ummmm over the otaster oven… yeah that’s it.
Oooh, toaster oven….that reminds me of an idea I had last night when I was hungry but too tired to get up. I’ll let you know how it comes out.
As I suspected, making a bacon & egg sandwich on cinnamon toast is fvckin’ awesome.
Did you make your own cinnamon sugar or find it by the syrup?
Is that American or Canadian bacon?
Lol…I gave up and made my own; American bacon, center-cut.
Thick cut or thin? You know what I learned is actually all right if you get the right kind? Turkey bacon.
Surpirsingly though center cut bacon is better for you then Turkey bacon in some instances (depends if they used white or dark meat from the turkey)….
Turkey bacon is an abomination unto GOD! Have you ever cooked Bacon and ran out of the real stuff, forcing you to substitute turkey bacon? You throw that stuff on the fryer with the real Bacon grease still in it and it hiss and spits like a vampire thrown into a pool of holy water. For lo, it angers GOD!
Default User is right. The Jonathan Edwards sermon Sinner in the Hands of an Angry God is missing the passage that explicitly states that God Hates Turkey Bacon and will thus pwn unto you if you befoul the name of bacon, the holiest substance most known (NOT in the biblical sense, at least I hope not).
You know the quote about road to hell being paved with good intentions? That’s not true. It’s paved with people who EAT TURKEY BACON ON PURPOSE.
two words: bacon lube!
{http://www.baconsaltblog.com/2009/04/our-newest-product.html}
AMEN!!!
which kind is the right kind because I’ve yet to find good turkey bacon.
Wal-Mart’s Great Value turkey bacon is pretty good. Some of the other stuff I’ve had is pretty much crap, though.
I know this might solicit some boos, but I’m particular to Morningstar’s Veggie Bacon Strips.
Communist!!! BOOO HISS BOO HISS!!! Bacon is MEAT!!!! Veggie “Bacon” Strips should be called Tofu or Soy strips with artificial flavoring. *stomps foot*
My wife and I usually refer to it as “fakin’”.
And that’s what Morningstar should call it. There should be a law against calling it “bacon”. Just like McDonalds should be prosecuted for calling their hot caffeinated beverages “coffee”.
Or hamburgers hamburgers, or cheese cheese….
Or what they sell “food”.
Nebton, I won’t boo you for that but when one of my daughters was vegetarian for a while I did notice the strong resemblance between the Morningstar Farms “bacon” and the dog treat “Beggin’ Strips”.
I can’t say I haven’t noticed the resemblance myself, at least with the commercials. Not having any dogs myself (although we’re considering getting one), I’m not that familiar with “Beggin’ Strips”. And no, if we got a dog, he would most likely not be a vegetarian. We’d let him make that choice himself.
Really Nebs, you need to come join the Facebook group The PK Irregulars 2.0. It’s by invitation only, you know. Veddy veddy exclusive.
I’ve wanted to try Veggie bacon, a friend of mine is Vegan (for health reasons) and raves about it. Is it hard to cook?
his is the most f*****stupid pic i do not giva damn about what you say about no fights i will fight for my religion
You’re not living up to your name very well.
i do believe irony has escaped the b)tt-hurt troll
this is the most f*****stupid pic
hope she never aspires to hold public office
I thought the same thing…I plan on holding public office when I’m older, and it would really hurt me if something like this came up! Much to my luck, my parents aren’t crazy. :] The closest they got was making me protest the opening of a Haggens in a residential neighborhood…but I love that Haggens now…
Only in the USA, though, could you hold up a poster that says that … and not get thrown in prison. Yep… that’s precisely what God hates.
God hates our ability to make false statements about him? I suppose that sounds fair.
I’m pretty sure you can hold up a poster that says God Hates the USA in a lot of countries and not get thrown in jail.
Furthermore, if I held up a poster that says God Hates Canada or God Hates the UK in those respective countries I think the most I’d get is a stern talking to by their citizens.
With a lot of finger wagging.
Then they’d give you a cup of tea. Or perhaps some screech.
Only in the USA? That is quite, quite far from the truth.
*stands up and starts clapping*
great comment!
just another typical american kid from another typical american parents
I think you meant Atypical, not a typical. Thanks, have a merry christmas, happy hanaka, joyous quanza, happy new year, and go fvck yourself…..
thanks nigga
You’re welcome cracka.
I heard you liek mudkipz
To the “troll’d hard” assholes, I know you want to say something here, but it’s Christmas. Give us one day without your crap.
Oh sure only give the Christians an easy day…. why not wish everyone a Successful Winter Solstice? (Which I accidently left off there. Isn’t that the Wiccan Holdiay this time of year?)
Okay.
Edit: I know you want to say something here, but it’s [winter holiday of your choice]. Give us one day without your crap.
(Although we probably won’t see them because their mommies & daddies will be dragging them to grandma’s house today.)
*grumble* Appeaser… *grumble*
Appeasement works at times. Beleive it or not Mr. War Hawk ILPB does find peaceful solutions at times..
No way!
Well nuke’em after teh Holidays, do I look like the VC (attacking on a Holiday)….
don’t forget festivus
Festiv THIS!!!! **gyrates crotch**
Which reminds me (on many levels)…anyone heard from Uncle Fester?
Not in a very long time.
Oh no, we Christians stole Christmas! We aren’t giving it back either!!
I’ll arm-wrestle you for it. You’ll have to give Santa and ALL the presents back too.
Actually, they can have christmas. Just move it to another date so as to not obscure other holidays. How about when they believe he was actually born, in the spring? And the jews need to move chanukah too. The pagans were there first.
There! Problem solved! Now, on to world peace!
Actually, Chanukah has nothing to do with the pagan winter solstice holiday. It’s based on historical events that did occur right around the month of Kislev (that’s why it falls on different dates on the Gregorian calendar) in the 2nd century BCE. So, since Chanukah is never on the same days I think we can let that one pass.
Since you’re solving world issues, can you do something about this global warming thing while you’re at it?
Ok, chanukah can stay.
Global warming? I’m still busy with world peace, girl! I’m not god! *laughs hysterically*
*Starts a soft sing song*
Can I interest yoooou…. In Hanukah?
It’s something of a festival of… liiiiights!
Yesh Peanut Butter, it is, ty for saying that, but allow him to have his religion and eat it too, or words to that effect, possibly, but maybe not, or two times ago, Issac Asimov recieved his sixth Ph.D.
Thank You for your Time
I wish I were as drunk as Regin.
*Hands Mabs a glass of Moosemilk*
That should do the trick
*sniffs* Ah, yes, I was meaning to strip the paint off my old dresser.
I promise it’s just rum, not Screech… well maybe a little overproof…
Oh, shoot. I’m getting my Canadian slang wrong again! That’s the good stuff. *takes glass from Greenie.* THanks!
Now where’s the Screech for my refinishing job?
*rummages through his Santa sack*
Ah, hear you go. just don’t tell justacanuck I gave it to you, she doesn’t seem to approve of this stuff.
As long as no one’s drinking it, I think it’ll be okay.
…and Tiny Tim said “God Bless us. Everyone!”
I thought Tiny Tim sang Tiptoe Through The Tulips?
Troll’d Really Fckin Hard
merry christmas suckaaaaaaa …. derp
Wow, look Rando! It’s like a Christmas toy come early. Your very own remote controlled troll! It says three simple troll phrases and all you have to do is say, “oh no, please don’t troll us!” and it responds on cue!
Ooooooooo, this must be the new kind. It responds with video. I must have been extra special good to receive such an awesome troll doll this year. It’s like it can’t even help itself…
TROLL’D HARDER !!!
Look! It did it again! Wow… I wonder what kind of batteries my remote controlled troll doll takes. I’d hate for it to run out of its three accepted troll responses. Do you think they sell bitterness and social rejection at Radio Shack, surely it runs on those?
I wonder how long we can keep invoking the Troll’d Hard r-tard? This is kinda fun!
*pinches Jane*
Merry Christmas Sweetpea
Thanks babe! *snuggles*
I think if you refuse to go out with it a few times, the batteries charge back to full.
You have to point and laugh at it with your sorority sisters as it walks away though.
TROLL’D REALLY FCKIN HARDER !!!
For trolls, any response is ‘recognition’; they are unable to distinguish between irritation and admiration; their ego grows directly in proportion to the response, regardless of the form or content of that response.
They love it when we all point and laugh at them then. Poor stupid trolls. Don’t even know how their freudian obsessive responses amuse us.
Nah, I don’t think we’ve been troll’d at all. That would require us to give a crap. You suck at trolling. Seriously. I’d wish you a Merry Christmas, but Santa Claus just told me he wants you to suck his balls. Kinda weird.
That can’t be safe, I mean, this thing is obviously rabid. Look how it foams at the mouth. He takes one little bite and suddenly we have a rabid santa clause.
*giggles*
Remember that trolls are cowards; they’ll usually post just enough to get an argument going, then sit back and count the responses (Yes, that’s what they do!).
TROLL’D REALLY REALLY FUKCIN HARD DERP DERP.
When a troll become persistent and personal, you may need to consider the possibility that it has fermented into an Internet Stalker – equally pathetic, if not more so – but sometimes requiring weedkiller.
These are actually kind of amusing. It’s like it actually annoys us with its “troll’d hard” thing. So tell me, what do YOU get out of trolling us? Fame? Money? Love? All of the above? The dedication of the trolls suggests that there must be some magnificent reward for this.
Sounds like some sort of troll religion. And lo, the trolling was hard. and troll god saw that it was good and allowed the trolls into heaven and eternal joy in their mothers basement.
A legend in their own minds.
TROLL’DREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLY REALLYFCKINHARDERHURRRRRRRRDURRRRRRRR
I believe that most trolls are sad people, living their lonely lives vicariously through those they see as strong and successful.
I think you folks are all over thinking it. This particular troll appears to be about 11 years old.
Man it should say WBC: Ruining the lives of the whole world.
Well, the whole world might be stretching it. I wouldn’t want to give them that much credit. I’d rather go with annoying the fvck out of Americans. The less significance we attribute to these people the better. The only reason I advocate protesting these idiots is because they ruin soldiers’ funeral and the families don’t need that.
The best way to deal with these idiots is to pretend they don’t exist. It’s much like the KKK. They just want attention. They just want to piss us off. You want to get rid of them? Pretend they don’t exist.
Or we could go the Roman route, feed them to the lions.
Because that was so successful at getting rid of the Christians?
Well that was back when Christians were secretive about their religion. And much much smarter (well than the WBC “Christians”)
Well, OK, I can see your point, but would you really want to subject the lions to them? Maybe it’s just the vegetarian in me, but I don’t think the lions deserve that kind of treatment. Maybe you could feed them a Michael Moore or a Rush Limbaugh instead?
“Look we taught this Lion to eat tofu!”
emaciated lion: cough cough..
I’m pretty sure that neither Moore nor Limbaugh are made of tofu, even (or especially) considering the mantra “you are what you eat”.
Nebton: Not a Futurama fan I take it.
Limbaugh and Moore are satured (with BS) fat. I would not give that much Cholesterol to lions, one bite = heart attack.
Breaking News for the National Zoo:
Two Lions die of heart attack!
Zookeepers are baffled at how the male and one female lion died at the National Zoo today. “The PResidental mandate to feed one lion Rush Limbaugh and the other Michael Moore was carried out last night.” Stated one un-named source. Currently blood tests reveal that the lions cholesterol levels spiked 300%. Once again another Joyous occasion ruined by such a tragic event.
Alas, I’ve probably only watched about 20 episodes or so. I enjoy it, but it’s not a show I’ve made time for.
Why do you hate the lions??? Why do you want to poison them with the likes of the WBC??
B/C God hates lions?!?!?!
That’s not what the sign says. Are there other signs that we’re not being shown that specifically state that God hates lions??
I just thought God hated everything according to them. You know God = hate…. just like Hitler = Good… or Black = Light… (and for those not believing in “God” per say, the teachings are that if he did exist he doesn’t hate.)
Well, if it’s not on a sign I’m not going to believe it.
**takes out magic markers, glitter, crayons, poster board, rulers and stencils** Fine I’ll put it on a sign for you!!! **writes sign and goes to adhere stick** CRAP! Whos’ got a stick I can borrow. It’s not a sign unless it’s on a stick.
Don’t forget to check the spelling. *runs away laughing maniacally*
I’m not doing it on my Crackberry, spelling should be fnie
Hey wait? Why does God hate Loins?
Those filthy, dirty loins!
Gods how I love those filthy dirty wet sticky tasty loins..
Well durr, they fornicate without the sactity of marridge, and they are known to be unfussy about how many sexual partners they have. That’s gotta be reason enough.
How did that end up there? I was replying to ILPB. AND I thought he said lions. But same goes for loins, really.
All right, I have a warrant here for taking possession of an abused lion. Hand him over! *waves paperwork*
Actually the WBC annoy many MANY nations. They are almost a valid enough argument to make me question freedom of religion.
Happy Holiday’s PK *squeezes for all*
*squeezes back*
Happy Holidays, all! Huggles for everyone!
Oh, I also have Moosemilk (hard eggnog), cookies and tarts for everyone.
*sets up treat table*
Egg nog…. but why is all the rum gone?
It’s in the Moosemilk! Happy Hanukkah! *hands out chocolate coins*
Call me crazy, but I’ve always been partial to latkes, although (as far as I know) there’s not a Jewish bone in my body.
Ah, but there is probably some Jewish sinew in there, somewhere. We are all mutts, if you go back far enough in history! Please pass the lox?
Mmmm…Latkes. I love those. I’ve had a jewish bone in my- Nevermind.
I have wine! Delicious delicious wine! And xanax!!
Those people are crazy
For sure. They always make me think “God doesn’t hate anybody, but I suspect you make him want to *headdesk*…or *headfirmament*”
God doesn’t hate anybody, but as our Father who art in Heaven, I have a feeling he wants to seriously ground these fvckers.
Send them to bed with no Communion?
you’ve been naughty no body and blood of the savior for you tonight!
Which makes me think… Do vegetarians take communion?
Doesn’t taking communion make one a cannibal? Wouldn’t matter if you were vegetarian or not, does it?
Sure, at least a non-vegetable doctor is a carnivore (or omnivore) and human is a form of meat. A Veggie Dr doesn’t eat meat so Cannabilsm is two bads.
How did doctors enter the equation?
I’s so confused…
Veternarian is a Pet doctor (Vet dr) so I call vegetarians, veggie doctors…..
Ah…
You know, under the Bush administration, you could get away with submitting logic to stress positions and water boarding, but under the Obama administration … OK, I’m not convinced much has changed there, but you’d best watch your back!
variation on a Christian praise song, appropriate to the WBC … “and they’ll know we are Christians by our hate, by our hate. They will know we are Christians by our hate”.
Except that real Christians don’t hate like this. These people are not representative of Christianity or the teachings of Christ in the slightest.
Wonder which of his daughters Fred Phelps had sex with to have such a cute kid…
was wondering something similar
there’s no explanation for these people except for massive inbreeding
Prove that god doesn’t hate the USA.
The Super Bowl. If God hated the USA, there would be no Super Bowl.
I thought you were going to say “Stanley Cup.” Or would that mean He doesn’t like the Canadians any more? (Which would be sad.)
Obesity being a top concern. God hates countries where nothing grows.
Capitalism. God hates those godless Communists.
Nah there are some hotty’s living under Communism. God loves a hotty….
i feel so sorry for those kids
Me too. The poor things don’t stand a chance of making it out normal being raised with such hatred.
Actually, they do have some chance. I was raised by a right-wing bible thumper and his alcoholic tart of a wife who dragged us around the world, thereby isolating us from anything that might be considered a support network. While I certainly have my issues, I don’t have the rabid, foaming at the mouth hate thing he had going on, or the drunken sleeping with anyone who asks thing she had going on. So, if any of Phelps’ spawn are inherently strong-minded, they might be able to escape.
What about that noodly appendages guy? Does he hate the USA too?
Flying Speghetti Monster… nah he’s a Hippy…. he’s too stoned or lazy to hate.
If he did, would he have given us The Olive Garden?
I like how you think!
Blessed art thou spices…
Lead us not into Alfredo sauce for our breadsticks (since it’s doubled in price) and deliver us from those who would hog all the salad.
RAmen.
I had a lovely discussion on facebook awhile back about the possibilty of a pantheon involving The Flying Sphagetti Monster, Ceiling Cat and The Invisible Pink Unicorn. If one lived a good life, one went to The Eternal Barbecue Party in the sky, complete with Cheeseburgers, pasta of all sorts, free beer for all from a beer volcano nearby, a stripper factory down the road, where everyone got their own unicorn and pet kitty and/or doggy. bad peopel went into an alternate dimension, with fugly strippers well into their 2nd century, stale beer, vegitarean pizza, and all the people are renamed STEVE.
It got quite a following for some time. Some woman pointed me out and said “I now have hope for the youth of tommorow!”
Im currently looking for saints to be part of my religion. Any takers?
Well, I solved the holiday problem, and I’m working on world peace. After that’s settled, I’m on to global warming and the economy. Do I qualify?
I make a point of being a figurehead/member of the clergy/general holy person in religions I don’t actual follow or believe in. I’m all up for being a saint in this one.
I already am one.
Me too!
How’s this?
No. THIS.
I likes.
What’s wrong with Steve? He’s a good guy.
Ah, but he isn’t STEVE.
curse you VG and your Danish logic!
I am glad for all the responses. It gives me a
However, I must warn you all. The position of “Most holy Saint of the Furry Handcuffs” and “The Great Patron of the 1337 Bunnies.” have already been taken by others. So when making your titles, please be considarate, and don’t steal others 
Can I be the Patron Saint of the word that’s on the tip of your tongue, you know it, it’s right there, you almost have it! and coming up with a great comeback three hours after the argument is over?
Well, really, who outside the USA DOESN’T hate it?
People that need financial aid. of course they hate us again after getting it.
People who like good science fiction.
And whiskers on kittens….
People who realize that the mass media stereotypes of Americans are more or less just the ’sideshow freaks’ subset of the population.
Many of us have issues with the political atmosphere in the US, but then, so does a significant portion (possibly even a majority) of their own population.
Or to put it another way, many Americans are idiots, but we in no way have the monopoly on idiots. The world is full of them.
Excellent corollary and quite true.
Anypalce that has Levi jeans, McDonalds, KFC, Taco Hell, Harley Davidsons, American cigarettes, American music, American movies, the Simpsons…… I can go on, should I?
Yep, I’d go along with that… except for Harley Davidson. Oh and any movie with Steven Seagal. You can keep those.
Canada loves the USA! We just get annoyed with them like a kid gets annoyed with their younger brother who just got them both in trouble!
“You started a war in Afghanistan? Again!? Fine… we’ll come help you.”
I believe we’re the Older Brother…. y’all still are technically part of the United Kingdom….. aintcha?
Nope, not since 1867. We just have the Queen as our head of state still!
.
Besides, I didn’t say you WERE the little brother, just that you were LIKE one sometimes
Which does make you part of the Commonwealth of Nations though, right? From what I understand, that Commonwealth has almost as much power as the United Nations!
Hey, the commonwealth can tell you they don’t like what you’re doing… you know, if they don’t like what you’re doing. They even kicked somebody out for a wee while once! It was kind of like a time-out for bad behaviour. “Nigeria, that is unacceptable. To the naughty stool!”
Oh so now we’re imature…. thanks.. I though Canucks were supposed to be polite.
Not immature, just… impulsive.
We’re still really sad though, this family feud is going too far… locking us out of your house! All these new border rules suck! Used to be able to just drive up to the border and say “yup, born in Canada, from Cambridge. Just going to the cracker barrel for lunch. Nope, not bringing any pets along” and go on through. Now we need to get scanned for uranium, and have a passport, and know the secret password and handshake. Sheesh!
Well maybe if y’all didn’t let EVERYONE in YOUR side of the hosue we wouldn’t need those rules.
Besides your border is much easier to protect, too cold to walk a long distance, plus the woods and water make great barriers. Down South, that’s another story.
And you only get scanned for Uranium if you’re an 80 year old woman with a walker.
Did you really need to put predator drones spying on us though… really? Weren’t you good with just the camera in the bathroom?
What you don’t know is secretly we have moose crossing the border ALL THE TIME!!!1!1!1!!!!11!
Do those moose have frickin lasers on their heads?
**shifty eyes**
On a similar note, (and this is sad because it’s true), the only time a Canadian border agent along the US-Canada border has fired his weapon was to kill a moose.
Oh, that is sad. Poor moose. Such majestic and delicious creatures. However, did you hear what our lovely US border agents did to a Canadian author trying to return TO Canada? It’s unbelievable.
Is this the guy that got tazed?
Yep. And jailed on the US side for no reason. And charged with assault when the border agents beat HIM. F’ing disgusting.
Moose bites can be really nasty. No really! My sister was bitten by a moose once…
Did she turn into the soulless undead, hungering for the flesh of living moose?
Those in charge of the subtitles have been sacked.
Idiot “Christians” who are stupid enough to believe that God is capable of hate – making Christianity look bad and making me want to tear someone’s head off for altogether too many years.
“making me want to tear someone’s head off for altogether too many years”
Not very Christian of you, is it?
I think it’s in the Old Testament somewhere… “Though shall tear heads off of dumba$$es who use the Lord’s name in the wrong manner”
AHA!! But Christians don’t use the OT anymore!! Gotcha! Lalalala.
Oh shoot! *puts head back on victim, dusts off* Good as new!
Oooh. I saw that! You are in sooooo much trouble with the Lord. Tsk. Tsk. *points to Ten Commandments* Did we forget something??
*gives money in exchange for indulgence from Pope*
*clears throat * Yeah…I’m…uhm…not seeing -that- amount as much of a guarantee of heavenly ascent.
“I only preach of avarice and the like,
And in this way induce them to be free
In giving cash–especially to me.
Because my only interest is in gain;
I’ve none whatever in rebuking sin.
No, none! When they are pushing up the daises,
Their souls, for all I care, can go to blazes.”
Lol! where did you find that? I like it!
Chaucer’s “Cantenbury Tales”. It’s the Pardoner’s Tale. Great, isn’t it?!
Do you see the face on the TV screen
Coming at you every Sunday
See the face on the billboard
That man is me
On the cover of the magazine
There’s no question why I’m smiling
You buy a piece of paradise
You get a piece of me
I’ll get you everything you wanted
I’ll get you everything you need
Don’t need to believe in hereafter
Just believe in me
Cos Jesus he knows me
And he knows I’m right
I’ve been talking to Jesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I’m right
And he’s been telling me
Everything is alright
I believe in the family
With my ever loving wife beside me
But she don’t know about my girlfriend
Or the man I met last night
Do you believe in God
Cos that is what I’m selling
And if you wanna go to heaven
I’ll see you right
You won’t even have to leave your house
Or get out of your chair
You don’t even have to touch that dial
Cos I’m everywhere
And Jesus he knows me
And he knows I’m right
I’ve been talking to Jesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I’m right
And he’s been telling me
Everything is alright
You won’t find me practicing what I’m preaching
Won’t find me making no sacrifice
But I get you a pocketful of miracles
If you promise to be good, try to be nice
God will take good care of you
Just do as I say, don’t do as I do
I’m counting my blessings
I’ve found true happiness
Cos I’m getting richer, day by day
You can find me in the phone book
Just call my toll free number
You can do it anyway you want
Just do it right away
There’ll be no doubt in your mind
You’ll believe everything I’m saying
If wanna get closer to him
Get on your knees and start praying
Cos Jesus he knows me
And he knows I’m right
I’ve been talking to Jesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I’m right
And he’s been telling me
Everything is alright
A fine day for some Genesis.
Despite some really crappy songs, I still like Genesis!! And this particular song is quite catchy..
You’re fine Noobs, please see below…. you can take the head back off and use it as a bowling ball.
Sure they do. Fifteen Commandments **remembers Moses dropped one tablet** Ten Commandments. God creating the world in Seven days. Adam and Eve. The founding principles start with the OT, so there…. Gotcha back…
…attempting to not feed the troll…
But he so obviously has a punishment fetish he needs to work out. Oh I’ve been so naughty, I need severe and unrelenting punishment!
I’m reminded of a clip from Monty Python’s Holy Grail…
(Those who know the movie will know what I’m talking about. Those who don’t are an abomination unto the Lord.)
We shall all receive spankings and then the oral $ex
Oh, well…I suppose I could stay a bit longer!
Oh no! It’s far too perilous! Come along now!”
“And you must spank all of us!”
I’ve been very very naughty Janie.. Would you punish me?
Well you do need to learn a lesson… To the Bedroom of Doom!
*heads gleefully to the Bedroom of Doom. OF DOOOOOOM!!!! *
Hey, know what else is a sin? Pride.
Think about that one for a minute.
I was raised Catholic, I’m allowed to hate everybody else! (That’s a joke, by the way).
What ever happened to this whole letting God judge and the man without sin casting the first stone and such?
I feel like feeding trolls, so I ask you:
Jesus is without sin, yes? Yet he said “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”, but he still didn’t throw a damned rock. He was essentially admitting that even he (along with every other man on Earth) has sinned at some point.
Actually he was/is without sin, or the sacrifice (crucifiction) would have been meaningless. He didn’t cast any stone then, but he will return to be the final judge, according to the bible that is.
On the temple steps he succumbed to anger. Anger is a sin. BAM!
Really though, having committed a sin makes him more relatable to human beings… which was kind of the entire point of why he came down, according to the bible that is
But anger is not a sin. Where does it say anger is a sin? Especially if it’s righteous anger. No, the entire point he came down was not to be more relatable, but to die on the cross as a sinless sacrifice. If he had sinned then his death would have been in vain… wouldn’t it?
He was sinless at his death because he repented (Again, according to the Bible. Hence why he was in the garden praying the night before).
Anger is one of the seven deadly sins….
Anger, pride, envy, gluttony, sloth, greed, and vanity
That’s Wrath…. similar to anger but not equal. Wrath…
He gets that from his mother’s side of the family….
*waits for lightning bolt to strike her*
Yeah, but unless Jesus was a girl (which will open a whole ‘nother can of trolls), he would have been immune to that monthly bout of wrath.
Sang Real? (That’s a Da Vinci Code reference for those who don’t get it.)
The Da Vinci code is evil and can burn in hell. Well, ok, it can’t because a) I don’t believe in hell and b) burning books, no matter how poorly written, is just wrong.
But I needed that book to light my weed fires.
I was going more for “the human side of the family” with that one.
Nah at that time God was Wrathier…. that whole Sodum and Gamoria, Noah and the flood, etc…
oh oh oh and the egyptians!
Christianity: Our God now comes with less wrath.
Special offer: Only available now!
Buy one father, get a son and ghost free!
But act now! We can’t do this all day!
Where in the bible does it say anger is a sin? I don’t remember ever reading that. Anger is not a sin in and of itself, it can be a powerful force for good, especially righteous anger which is what Jesus had at the time in the temple.
Noobs Wrath is the seventh Deadly Sin, haven’t you seen Seven?
Good movie! That was in there?
**head desk** Did someone NOT watch the entire movie?
That was a long time ago!! But, I do remember the ending.
*looks up*
Hey….what was in the box, anyway?
A cake.
The cake is a lie. Why do you think he was so angry?
Furthermore, the Seven Deadly Sins were not listed in the Bible. They were categorized as such by Pope Gregory I.
At the risk of bring too much seriousness:
http://tiunet.tiu.edu/faculty/cwilliam/seven.htm
Note: in this context, Jesus’ anger at the money changers does not count as a sin.
At the risk of bringing too much seriousness:
{http://tiunet.tiu.edu/faculty/cwilliam/seven.htm}
Note: in this context, Jesus’ anger at the money changers does not count as a sin.
Heh don’t worry about seriousness. I was just being a sh!t because it’s fun, and I wanted to see if I could wake the trolls up. Didn’t entirely work.
I just know of a bunch of paradoxes in the bible that I bring up sometimes to try and confuse religious nutbags (like Ioannes above) but I completely missed my target.
So Troll baiting, I think that’s a Sin too.
Yeah, probably.
Forgive me ILPB, for I have sinned, …
I ain’t the PK god, that’s EWADams… :-O
He is? No wonder he gets all those awful sappy lols to the front page!!!
N’uh. The PK god is Bitter Wino. Well, one of the PK gods. He’s the god of inebriation. Speaking of…*strips down to leather bikini* Where’s. My. CABERNET??!!!
Booze and leather bikinis? I think I’m about to sin again
Oooh. Hey, Bitter Wino, I’ve recruited a Canuck for our “Overthrow God” campaign. And he’s bringing the Canadian “Navy” with him. I guess every tiny bit helps.
Be careful, Churj. The angels fight dirty. Them and their stupid divine light and holy sunglasses.
Divine might be kinda bright, but have them stare at the ground after a fresh snowfall in Saskatchewan and they’ll go blind!
*wakes up from week long holiday binge*
Here HOW.
*hands HOW bottle of Cabernet*
Does the Canadian navy like Canadian whiskey?
Ioannes, your entire arguement is flawed.
if there was a god who, you believe “loves” us, then there wouldn’t be war, crime, murders, rapes, diseases, and numerous other horrors that occur daily.
if there were a god, which obviously there is not, then your arguement would be sound.
You really should take a looooong hard look at your life and what you’ve wasted praying to air for.
The truth hurts. Sucks if you cannot accept it.
Troll Troll Troll this post, gently on the screen, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life’s in need of Dopamean.
ha!
I do love dopamine..
Pft. Dopamine is for pussies. Here, have a quaalude.
What about adrenochrome ?
“La llama es un quadrupedo.”
i’d hope so, otherwise they might have a bit of a problem getting around (unless i completely mis-translated that statement?)
Assuming we translated it the same way, I don’t know why it would cause the llama problems if it were a bi-ped. We’re bipeds and we get on well enough.
because they’ve got 4 feet (quadruped) and their spines and pelvis isn’t adapted to being upright ?
They’ll evolve. Or die out trying. It’ll be good for them.
We’ve now heard the troll position from the opposing side. Are we ready for closing arguments?
Wait, are we arguing about closing the door? I say close it! I’m getting a cold breeze up north here.
Here’s my closing argument: Happy Holidays!!
*hands out hot spiced rum cider*
*gavel goes down* Closed!! mmmmmmmmm, hot spiced rum cider….
I just baked a spiced rum pudding with brandy cream sauce – want some with the cider??
Can I get drunk off of it?
*hic*
not sure, aksk meh when roooom stops spinnning . .
*falls to floor*
Ah, the Phelps Phamily Phreakshow.
God created them so Scientologists would have someone to laugh at, you know.
very lmao worthy, kudos
It’s nice to see the righies and lefties united-even if is IS in hatred.
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe I’ll just drink, instead.
You missed the photo of that one woman that was using it for a diaper, didn’t you?
THE DIAPER IS BELGIAN!!!1!!!!!111!!!pi!!!!
I hope her sign was a joke……..
Oh, it’s a joke alright, just not the “we’re laughing _with_ you” kind.
If you dare, look up the Westboro Baptist Church.
Oh by the way Merry Christmas!
You too!
I’m so tired of seeing these Westboro freaks. Okay, they’re crazy. We get it. Can we move on?
It’s rather tiring.
Hear, hear.
TLDNR, sorry….it’s the holidays
Whoa….I was replying to Ioannes, sorry all
No problem. Have some cookies! *hands over platter*
THIS is why religion scares the heeby jeebies right out of me… Come back heebie jeebies! *runs after heeby jeebies*
What about trespassing? Entering school grounds during school hours without receiving a visitors pass from the school administrators could be considered trespassing.
They (WBC) were very careful. They stayed across the street (though, because of construction and the strange architecture of our school, they ended up picketing a side door).
i’ve seen a few pics where people have strung sheets & blankets as a barrier on the edge of their property so either they don’t have to see these knuckle-draggers, or so that wbc can’t see them. i don’t know if it was a privacy thing, or a statement. i’d be willing to donate every sheet i could get my hands on for a barrier that would be just far enough back that if they touched it, they could be nailed for trespassing and destruction of private property. but it’s my understanding that the old man and several of his kids are lawyers & well versed in causing even more legal hell than they do on the streetcorners.
Isn’t law school teh debil?
No, but it teaches debils!
The Westboro Baptist Church is an abomination. All they do is spew lies and extremist views about religion and politics. Fred Phelps needs to die already and they need to stop infecting the minds of people, but of course it’ll be a cold day in hell before that happens.
for the legal eagle types out here: since we’re at war, can’t they be charged with sedition, anarchy, and joe maccarthy’s favorite: un-american activities…. or was it anti-american? anyway, what ever it is that is just short of treason?
it sucks when the laws get mangled and innocent people do time, yet nobody is willing to mangle the law to get these trog’s off our sidewalks
These WBC idiots ought to simply jump to Islam.
For Allah doth hate the USA. And Jews. And all Infidels. And dogs. And pigs. And women. And just about everyone and everything, really.
These clowns would fit right in. Put that kid in a burqa now!
but the WBC hates for jesus…perhaps you dont understand the foundings of islam. for a “smart” – azz..oh wait bitter troll gets it…HA HA..your such a scamp!
And the lights go on.
psst bitter troll was mocking you the entire time. no gold star for you
Ok then -
Yes, I am quite aware of the foundations of Islam – and how it was founded by a man who was nothing more than a murderer, thief, brigand, warlord, pedophile, etc. I am also aware – as I hope you are – of the principle of abrogation; that the peaceful Meccan verses are rendered null and void by the later, more violent and intolerant Medina verses (ie, “There is no compulsion in religion” is abrogated by “If someone changes his (Islamic) religion, then kill him.” – though of course, that’s Sahih Bukhari, but the chronology is the same. However, see the late-revealed, Medinan verses 8:60, 9:5 and 9:29 in the Koran.)
I also know that Jesus is considered an Islamic prophet, second, of course, to Mohammed himself.
However, if one compares the ideology and behaviour of the two men, the ideology of these “Baptists” is much more in line with Mohammed than Jesus. I don’t think Jesus would ever have had anything to do with the beheading of between 600 and 900 men while their women and children (taken as sex slaves) were forced to stand by and watch – and I doubt he would have performed beheadings himself.
For the record, I’m an atheist, myself. But I understand that these “Baptists” and others like them twist Christianity around (usually using the Old Testament to do it, which, technically, was “abrogated” by Jesus (though there is really no such concept in either Judaism or Christianity.) I also understand that Islam needs no twisting to justify hatred and violence. It’s the ones who bray repeatedly that “Islam is a religion of peace” (usually citing abrograted Meccan verses to support this) that are twisting it.
I’ve known a few people like this, and in fact, suffered cohabitating with one like this for a decade. If that person hadn’t been an actual racist, he would actually make a great Muslim, due to the depth of his hatred, and wish to subjugate women to his will, by force of violence, if needs be.
Therefore, I do stand by my statement. They should really “revert” (in the language of Islamists themselves).
I hope that what you’ve just written was a very subtle attempt at parody. If not, read the Old Testament again (noting the sections referring to God-sanctioned genocide) and ask yourself if you think Jews are also a religion of hatred. No one denies that there is some rather horrible stuff in the Islamic scripture. Let’s not pretend that this makes Islam unique though, okay?
Is it wrong of me that I think the graphic used on that sign is really cool? I mean, the message is horrible, but the clip-art – it’s a flaming skull in an Uncle Sam hat! How cool is that?
I actually think this is pretty cool. We force our government on other nations, we take down every mention of any type of religion ever, if someone’s sitting on top of something we want, we take it, we go in and help even if there’s a reason the country we’re “helping” didn’t ask for it, we cover up every little mistake with lies, we keep cigarretes legal even though they’re deadly because we make so much money off of them, and way too many other things to mention. I wouldn’t be surprised if God destroyed us all right now.
Who the HELL took this picture!?
Mommy and daddy, for the scrap book. Duh.
I say good on them, actually. At least they’re not bust trying to shove religion down her throat.
All organized religions encourage hatred and violence, it’s how they justify the power and prestige enjoyed by their priestly classes. But the Westboro people take that to a whole new extreme, they are nothing less than evil towards anyone they don’t like, which is most people. I actually had a run in with a few last year, and it wasn’t a pretty scene. It turned out to be kind of fun in the end, though, seeing as they were standing out in front of a massive gay pride event and had absolutely ZERO public support. A good time was had by all, except for the WBC people.