Finding a Liver on the black market
Finding a liver on the black market
There’s an App for that.
(Steve Jobs)
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: kkehoe5 via Advanced Lol Builder
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You know, that wouldn’t surprise me. There seems to be an app for everything. I know someone who even has a freaking flashlight app.
I really want an iphone for the sole purpose of having the lightsaber app and dueling with my friends at parties.
I have a lightsaber app, and I don’t have an iPhone.
Same here. I love my G1.
FTR, I hate you. Nothing personal, Mr. G1. *grumbles and wanders off*
That’s ok, My G1 also has an AK47, among many other neat goodies. So anyone that doesn’t like it gets introduced to my leetle friend. After all, after the crap laptop I got, I deserved something that worked right.
Oh, you got the G1? I feel so sorry for you… the HTC Hero is everything I could want in a phone, and much higher processing speeds than the G1! (BTW: AK47, Ruger Pistol, Light Saber, Sword, and ShottGun on my phone!)
I’m quite happy with my G1, and it’s real keyboard. And yes, I have all the goodies too. I love ragging the Iphone guys with them.
Yeah, the real keyboard would be nice, but it would ruin the lines on the Hero. Besides, HTC includes a nice software workaround that makes the virtual keyboard acceptable. This phone is finally everything I’ve ever wanted in a phone.
iphones are apple’s attempt to create a microsoft type of monopoly. neither should succeed. great product though.
Monopoly is from Hasbro.
sorry, but that’s a risky thing to say.
Now you’re just causing Trouble, Pitty, we had this run yesterday.
uno sometimes I’m just clueless.
No need to be Sorry, your pun runs are the best.
Aw chutes, you’re such a nice ladder.
And it is fun to Parcheesi in the Operation, if I can think of a pun too!
I’ve always wanted to take part in these runs, but I was always too Boggled to try.
That’s because you’re chessacanuck.
You’re taking a Risk with your comments, being a canuck is no Trivial Pursuit.
It’s all part of The Game of Life. Sometimes it just feels like a Mousetrap.
….last joke on this one…..UNO!
You sunk my battleship!!!!!
Must be Troll Harbor.
OK…THAT’S NOT FUNNY…HE WAS SICK…C’MON….YOU KNOW WHAT CANCER DOES TO YOU??…AL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING YOU HAVE TO LIVE ???
Calm down. It’s just a picture, on a lol site, where the purpose of lols is to make fun of stuff.
Hey now, laughing at somebody elses pain… what do you think we are, human or something?
*starts off the riff from Rob Zombie’s “More Human, Than Human”.*
*sing along*
I am the Astro-creep, a demolition style hell American freak, yeah.
I am the crawling dead, a phantom in the box shadow in your head say.
Weird.. This wasn’t here a minute ago..
Why can’t I sing along?!
Female singer of Rob Zombie? That would be….. hawt!
thats just gross. a female rob zombie? ewwww
Of! I said of dammit! Don’t ruin a totally smokin hawt thing with bad reading comprehension!
*tosses a water balloon at wicket*
*sings along again*
I zombie, cancer raging
I zombie, fascinating
I zombie, crucify
I zombie, do not die
It might’ve worked better if you said female singer of White Zombie.
Well White Zombie is no more… unless there’s a reunion I’ve not heard of… and if not… WHY DIDN’T I GET THE FREAKIN MEMO!?
*looks up from nomming the memo*
Er.. This is awkward..
ZOMG there’s a White Zombie reunion?!
Razcism!!1!
Why no reunion for Black Zombies?
Public Service Announcement: Meet TIAGO’S keyboard. It used to be able to type both capital and lower-case letters. Unfortunately, those days are gone…..Everyone should be aware of the signs and perils of Shift-key Carcinoma. Sadly, this disease strikes 1 in 25 computers. Be sure to glove up and give your keyboard a good diagnostic poke at least once a month….
This made my day.
No, it made my day. It can’t make BOTH of our days, but it can make both of half of our days. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.
It made my day first so nyah.
YO ESCRIBO EN MAYUSCULAS CUANDO QUIERA…PIASO DE MARICON…ME VOY A PONER EN MAYUSCULA LA CABEZA DEL HUEVO Y TE LO METO POR EL CULO
What?
And they all seem homophobic as well. Sigh.
Al? Al Bundy?
Damnit Peg, i told you i needed one kidney atleast….
Tonight on Married With Children, Al learns to skip his kidney stones across a pond.
Ewwww..
Care trolls yells more than we do.
When I was recovering from cancer, my hair grew in really curly…unfortunately, my new curly do coincided with the Lord of the Rings film release. All my “friends” called me Bilbo Baggins for months.
Sounds like real friends! (fake ones tend to disappear)
Mind if we call you Bilbo?
Damn you, Justa. I was tapping my foot the entire time I listened to this, and now it’s stuck in my head. I hate you so much right now….
*stupidly listens after reading froo’s comment*
Damnit.
*does the same thing* And why do I have the urge to go play some NES games?
*plays Icon of Coil to erase the memory*
Ahhh..
*heads back to cannibal junkie party with Max*
Me too. It’s like a virus spreading through PK. It’d probably be more meaningful if I’d ever seen those movies.
No, it wouldn’t.
better than Beelzebozo Baggins.
of course Wicket Warrick would have been much ‘cooler’.
Calm down, you’re hysterical.
*head bangs to rob zombie*
Finding a sense of humor on the black market…. sorry there’s no app for that.
*has a sad*
Um, because someone else might have gotten that organ. The point is that who gets the organs should be based on who has the best chance of survival for the longest time and who is most in need.
In the case of Jobs, the cancer he had still has a high likelihood of recurrence making the liver transplant he had much less of a good use of the organ.
Its about good stewardship of a precious and scarce resource. Organs are a zero sum game. For Jobs to live someone else on the transplant list must die. If that person had a much higher chance of survival for a longer period than Jobs will, his receiving the organ is a travesty. His pain and suffering is no more or less valuable than someone without his millions.
Okay, so basically you’re saying that because he’s rich he shouldn’t have received the organ? Who are you to say that he wasn’t going to die without a transplant? Are you a close personal friend of Steve Jobs? His Doctor? No, you are not. You have no idea that someone had to die because he got the organ instead. You don’t have any factual basis for your argument and you should therefore take this for what it actually is, a f*cking joke.
Sounds more to me you’re jealous that Steve Jobs is a) cooler than you, b) richer than you & c) made of freaking win. So STFU.
That was.. beautiful!!
I can see your point, however more valuable use of your time would be to encourage folks to sign organ donor cards. Then transplant organs would not be a scarce resource. End of story.
Yes Jobs’ cancer may come back. I suspect that his doctors considered that fact when they put him on the transplant list, and that most likely he is in full remission. Because otherwise, the anti-rejection drugs would cause the cancer to flare immediately. Which is why transplants are not done for a patient having active, metastatic cancer.
But really, why don’t you encourage folks to recycle when they die, rather than whining?
Well put, VG. Well said.
Ditto. And some people are pushing to have the laws changed so that donations are done as an ‘opt out’ rather than an ‘opt in,’ which increases donations enormously. Because a lot of families don’t donate just because the person never bothered to sign the card and they just don’t know.
My sister-in-law, who died at 43, hadn’t signed her card, but my brother was sure enough of her wishes to agree to the donation. (They won’t do the donation if the family says no, regardless of what the person indicated.) He was actually very pleased with doing it and with the donation people.
BTW, one of the reasons someone who is richer can get an organ more quickly is because you have to agree to be able to be at any hospital that you sign up for transplant at within a certain time period. Having your own jet helps. (So they can sign up on more lists.)
And it certainly doesn’t hurt the donations when someone that well-known goes around talking about how a transplant saved his life because education always creates more donors.
Oh, dear, makes more people willing to be donors. That sounded like the teachers were whacking people for organs.
Wait, if I sign a donor card, but my family says “No”, they won’t take my organs?
What about my pianos?
(Sorry I couldn’t resist, but the first question is legit).
I thought they had to abide by your wishes. I know when my mom passed away they said that her drivers license indicated she was an organ donor. But they did ask me anyway and I said yes. Hopefully someone out there can see again.
Yeah, but the problem is she was not there; you were. I doubt they would have done it if you had said no.
It doesn’t seem right though, does it? If that’s my wishes, then they should comply.
Pretty much. The donor people are very sensitive about their reputation and won’t go against a family’s wishes. That’s my understanding at least, from my sister-in-law’s case, which was 8 years ago.
Okay, you all made me wonder (it has been 8 years since her death), so I employed the awesome power of google and from a website on organ donation:
What about the donor form on my drivers license? You may think that you have already made your wishes known by signing the organ donation form on your state drivers licensee, but that alone may not guarantee that your wishes will be carried out. In many states next of kin will be asked for consent for organ harvesting despite a signed consent of the patient. If your next of kin decline to give consent your organs will not be donated.
I hate to say it, but that does seem logical. I would much prefer that my signature on the organ donor card was taken as a legal document and not left to my family to decide.
I agree with you, but no one’s going to argue with a grieving family. However, having signed the donor card makes it extremely likely that your family will agree to donation. The percentage increases if you also include it in your living will.
(But we all know what those lead to — death panels!! Bwa ha ha!)
My mom had a living will that specifically said DNR. Guess what? It took me three calls before they would take her off life support. As much as I value living wills, not all hospitals will abide by them. Which is really unfair as it caused nothing but more stress for me in an already stressful situation.
*hugs for Eds*
I really should make one of them living will things..
I already did the living will deal, but then I’m cynical. –make sure to give a copy to your doctor!
I had to have a medicalert necklace made (asthma), so I had them inscribe ‘organ donor’ right on it. nothing like engraved metal to get your wishes across!
I have had one for the last 9 years. If for whatever reason I get taken to the hospital and there’s no hope for me and I get put on life support, I plan on coming back as a zombie and eating the brains of the hospital staff. The other thing to consider, and I don’t know if you have one, is a living trust. My parents had one set up and when my mum did pass away it made resolving the estate that much easier since I was listed as the trustee (my sister was too, but she died years ago so I was the only one left.)
So, is the zombie thing in the DNR or is that just sticky noted on?
I’ve heard living trusts are a much better way to go than wills from a number of people who’ve had to deal with the legal aspects of wills and trusts.
The zombie option is well noted with double underlines and hightlighted in red!!
Living trusts are the only way to go. You get to bypass probate altogerther because the trustee assumes ownership of all property. The thing is though, you do have to specify what property is to be put under the trust. For example, my parents had their house, cars, jewelry that was of any value, stocks, bonds, retirement funds, etc. all listed. One problem I had was even though my parents had their house listed under the trust, somehow the county didn’t update their records and when I went to sell it the title company threw up a roadblock. I was able to get around it as I had a copy of the document and my lawyer filed an affifavit (at a cost of $2,500 I might add) stating the original was lost.
But yeah, I’ve heard how having to run everything through probate is very time consuming and since I was only going to be in the States for three weeks, this made things a lot easier for me!
Eds, those phone calls were to protect the hospital from litigation in the case that they followed the DNR and you decided to get pissed about it. It sucks. That sort of thing happens all the time, and people should be ashamed of themselves.
Ok, I can appreciate that, but the 1st call should have been sufficient as I was listed as next of kin. On the 2nd call I was assured that the organ team would follow through. By the 3rd call asking what my wishes were I was well and truly upset. I also understand that the hospital was trying to protect themselves and the only next of kin was 10,000 miles away, but I felt at that point that the people involved (including her doctor) just weren’t communicating with each other.
Yeah, multiple phone calls from different people seems a bit excessive, especially when you’re dealing with grieving family members. I mean, with a DNR it really should be sufficient. I can understand one phone call as a courtesy to family, but it really isn’t the family’s choice if the person has already made his/her wishes clear with a DNR.
Exactly. I try to persuade everyone to sign their organ donor card. If I die, I’m not gonna need them. Why not let someone else benefit from my death?
As long as I don’t get Charro’s liver.
Or wino the winest’s liver…
*has a sad* But.. My liver is strong from years of abuse.. Right?
THIS is why not. (clicky)
Oops. Trying to reply to Captain Wow. Not that I don’t like you Charro..
*sniffles*
Thanks Keithy, you almost broke my heart.. Which also is strong from years of abuse, right? RIGHT?!
-hugs his charro- bitter troll will get charro all the livers she needs, plenty of peoplein hospitals who wont need them
*sniffles again* I love you bitter troll.
I would expect to find liver at the meat market…not the black market.
Also, liver is gross.
subtle irony is tough
Hey! Look everyone!! A funny one!
How the hell did THAT get there?
Freaky isn’t it? Where AM I?
I like Steve Jobs.
But Steve almost certainly does not like you.
Yes it does.
That’s just something all whores say.
Your horse-play is hare-say!
Hay! Enough with the puns!
Oh you’re just stall-ing with straw-man tack-tics.
Halter, pitty. I think you may need to rein this one in.
Neigh! We insist on continuing!
All this un-bridled emotion must be cantered!
more puns? knock this crop out!
I think you’re pasture prime.
you know im a STUD!
It behooves Charro to love her studly troll.
I’m re-equestrian that we halt this immediately.
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Woah that was a stretch.
Dont worry good captain, you will be back in the saddle again in no time
Don’t be stirruping up trouble my love. And you are a stud, I was just foaling with you.
LOL FUNNY
I hate that man.
Me too, I’m a Bill Gates supporter 100%!
Bill Gates touched my friend’s Mac Book Pro once.
bad touch!
bitter troll wants to slap justin long
My beef is not with you, old woman
why thank you- pushes the large and muscler scientologist towards the skinny lil pretty boy-
Woo!
The thing is, since Jobs went through all the proper procedures, waited in line and got a liver when it was his turn, this really isn’t funny. It has to be based on something people generally believe to be true in order to be funny. And hey, we’re on this thing called the internet where you can look stuff like that up before being wrong about it.
Also, since when was making fun of people with cancer funny?
last monday silly, didnt you get the memo?
no? dont worry we have an app for that
I love you bitter troll.
since last monday…cancer is hilarious. problem is no 3rd party coder’s are allowed to make an app for it, because Apple disagree’s with their politics. silly apple monopolies are for kids.
silly apple, monopolies are for kids.
Hey, are you sticky, by any chance?
No but I am slightly sweaty
“Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?” – Fry
Sill apple monopolies are also for kids.
No 3rd party developers? So where did those 100,000+ apps come from? Did Apple make them all?
Next time just come right out and say you’re retarded so people don’t have to point it out.
Also, you should probably look up the word “monopoly”. Last I heard, Apple doesn’t actually sell the only cell phone in the world. No, it’s true. There are cell phones made by other companies. That right there automatically means Apple can’t have a monopoly, but hey, keep deluding yourself. It’s funny.
I thought it was funny and I didn’t even know he needed a new liver, much less know where he got it from.
*looks in the mirror*
Hey! Where the hell did I get this scar from?! And where did this new Iphone come from!?
*giggles and runs off with Max’s liver*
At least she gave you an iPhone for it
Does it have a dialysis app? I really friggin need one now!
It didn’t come with one, put you can purchase it for a modest one time fee of $299.99
But I don’t even have 3g coverage! Oh god! I’m screwed!
*tests Captain WoW*
OMFG MY KIDNEE! GOT STOLINZ!
*helps charro sell it on the black market*
*texts max*
Sorry, woman’s gotta make a living. I’ve been fired from almost every mode of transportation you know…
*high fives Captain Wow*
Well, after careful review of your last sailing/flying accident when you killed Tara Reid the board has decided to rehire you, pay for your lawyers and get you out of jail. However, you won’t be allowed to operate motor vehicles as part of your job. Except possibly around Paris Hilton.
Well you should have thought of that before you let Charro drug you and steal your liver.
Usually after she drugs me, stealing organs is the last thing she has time to do.
What can I say, she’s getting kinkier and kinkier!
*giggles again*
I used a litle too much ketmine this time.. You were still asleep and I was bored.
*runs off again with leftover K and Max’s liver*
Wait come back! I have a nice chianti!
*pauses*
Oooh.. Chianti would go nice with these fava beans and leftover ketamine.
Deal.
*Has a cannibal junkie party with Charro*
Woohoo!
Charro, Hubby and I watched a rather creepy Criminal Minds the other day where the bad guy drugged people with ketamine, and while they were still aware (“In a K Hole”), mutilated them, chopped off their body parts (while cauterizing veins so they wouldn’t die yet), and then killed them by cutting their throats. I can’t think about ketamine the same since, and now I refuse to leave the house without an armed guard.
I love that show!
I didn’t see that one though.. Though having actually done ketamine.. Well that would be pretty creepy.
You know, ketamine and PCP are chemical cousins and were originally developed as general anesthesia.. They stopped using it because patients would complain of “bizarre and disturbing imagery” while under. I suppose, depending on the dose, you may or may not be aware if someone is mutilating you. About 1cc will dump you pretty far under and you probably wouldn’t realise much.
But that would suck to wake up to. Amputation creeps me the fukc out. *shudders*
I can never decide if I like that show or not. It’s so creepy but Wrede is so nerdy and cute. I want a Wrede. Though I haven’t watched as much since Gideon left. That guy was great.
We’re watching the reruns on A&E. The episodes with the ketamine are about that really creepy serial killer who kills Gideon’s friend Sarah, and is the reason he leaves the BAU. So it’s from like 2006
I’m still not leaving the house without a gun, an armed guard, and a very large vicious dog at my side.
Spencer is my Nerd Crush
I totally envied that chick he was frenching in the pool that time!
DU, I can’t watch Mandy Patinkin in ANYTHING without wanting him to pause, look intense, and say “‘Allo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You kill my father. Prepare to die.”
oooH Those episodes! I remember those. That guy was scary, and his girlfriend was completely off her rocker. I still want Gideon back though, his character was awesome. I also just don’t like the guy who replaced him overly much. He’s so bland.
Mmmmm…….Morgan…..that is one yummy man. Oh, and I like Spencer too. I love that show!! But I watch the marathon runs on Friday when I’m alone in the house…..and then sleep with all the lights on.
“Fire” sale on baby livers left over from BT’s bbq — barely singed. Guaranteed iMax compatible!
I’ve seen way tackier jokes than Jobs’ liver on this site and in the comments, so I think we can have a little laugh at ol’ Steve.
When I want irony I in vitamin to dinner.
Ooh, festing nailure! Sorry there, Rando buddy.
Festing nailure? Don’t they have an ointment for that?
Yes! It’s in same aisle as Heparation Praych!
(I can always count on my fellow science nerds to get the Greek roots of stuff, tahee.)
“Heparation praych”…for the treatment of blood clots that form during long periods of worship.
Or maybe it is a liver cleanse?
It can lend a hepa hand when you are needy.
That is a mes-entery in the pun world.
Remembrane your manners!
Why aorta punch you for saying that!
Thumbs down on this one. There’s no irony or humor here.
just like todays youth, expecting someone else to provide you with your irony instead of creating your own.
i could provide you with some irony but i think it’d be better for you to learn how to pull your own bootstrap irony. it’s cheaper for me that way.
I get my irony in pill form. Juss should look in to it. Or is it that I get my iron in pill form. *shrugs*
Don’t be a pill about it! Tablet things be, and mellow!
NOTHING MELLOW ABOUT WRITING IN ALL CAPSULES!!
Suppository he/she is trying to get our attention?
Seems like a reasonable hypothecary.
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Right! Thanks for….. that.
“Don’t…forget…to drink…your Ovaltine.”
A commercial? Sonofab!tch!
Did you use your super secret decoder ring for that?
Maybe it’s a secret code that government agents who were responsible for 9/11 use.
Can we ban the super secret spies for spamming? That is what he did right there isn’t it?
Well it’s not spam if you can understand it! It’s an important distinction. But I suppose it can be deleted now as all relevant parties have received and decoded the message.
*hurriedly finishes decoding message before deletion*
Llama llama duck? WTF?
The llamas are working with the government!
Llama llama ding dong, Charro. Geez. Did you leave your decoder ring at home again?
No, that’s rama lama bang bang.
Bless you.
Aww…I think jajaja has torette’s.
“There were ones and zeroes everywhere! And I think I saw a 2!”
This always happens when you stop drinking Bender! *passes a case of beers to Maxwell the bending unit*
You gave this LOL elebenty cheezburgers?
May the sarcasm fairy alight softly on your night-stand.
I wasted time cutting and pasting the ascii image into a text editor so that I could try to view the picture. The leading spaces got eaten, so it is still not recognizable. It is a picture of someone’s head and shoulders.
Someone call 911! Track that IP! Poor guy’s had a stroke and collapsed with his face on the keyboard. Will ANYONE save him?
*wont save him*
That’s really boring.
Joke fail – reason: apple wont support jailbrake phones… make the connection or prove stupidity
Sir Buzz Killington strikes again.
No doubt, kinda makes you wonder how these celebrities and other powerful figure heads come by transplant organs so quickly while thousands of anonymous people die waiting in vain. /=[
Simply because the rich folk can research and travel to those hospitals with better waiting lists (the distribution system among the various states is stupid, and needs work).
But as I wrote above, encourage folk to sign donor cards (which I do in lecture with my students), and encourage your senator/congressperson to changed the distribution rules in the meantime. That sort of things is more useful than whining.
Isn’t that just like a teacher? Encouraging a practical solution rather than whining?
*goes to call teacher friends — all on vacation today, lucky ducks!*
Can you ask your teacher friends to help me with my stack of grading?
Hello? Hello? *sigh*
I suspect that that’s what they’re doing — no one answered.
Have you tried setting the pile on fire?
I’ve thought of tossing the research papers down the stairs, but I can’t decide who should get the better grades. Should it be the papers that get to the bottom, or the ones which fell on the upper stairs?
The ones on bottom were obviously plagiarized from the internet and deserve F’s, the ones on top were written the night before they were due and only use Wikipedia as their source and should be given C’s, The ones in the middle were written by the dedicated students and have earned A’s.
I think I’ll need a longer staircase, then!
Ah, ‘research papers’? I’m not sure my teacher friends would be much help. Most teach elementary school….
Now if it’s math, you can fling a couple in my direction. I’ll be happy to assist with the tossing. As my husband is a physicist, I’d probably have to go with the most distance = highest grade. I’m pretty sure that’s how they test the weapons systems.
Some of the papers could probably make good missile targets, at least!
I like this whole idea of tossing things down the stairs as a form of decision making. Can I try it to see if sex-ed works? Where’s mabsba?
It’s not a form of decision making, it’s a form of judging children and their worth! Really, you need to keep up.
Well, let’s test your theory. Could you step over here to the stairs please? Yes..just a bit to the left..okay..right…there. Okay. * tosses default user *
Results are in with the sex-ed experiment, but mixed. Mabsba initially landed near the top stairs, but began to spin, tumble, and ultimately broke apart, leaving us with a diverse data set liberally spread across the polling field. Although widely considered a success, further testing may be needed to remove any statistical abnormalities.
Dammit, jim….clean the stairs up before somebody gets hurt.
*takes Mabsba to the kitchen for a nice cup of coffee and a band-aid*
Yes, we have found repeated use is corrupting our results. No matter. *tosses diss *
No turkey for you, jim!
Thank you, diss. And may I add, since I have a little piece of expensive paper (known as a Master’s degree) in probability and statistics, jim should go learn what the language means before he babbles in it.
*gives diss Thanksgiving cheesecake to go with the coffee*
Dear Mrs. jim’s Mom:
jim does not play well with others, and fails to realize how awed he should be. He has a poor attitude.
Mrs. Mabsba
Since you were apparently trying to translate what I said into jim-speak, let me do it for you: jim is an idiot and speaks about things he knows not.
Dear Mrs. Mabsba
You’re absolutely right, that boy is an idiot and he just won’t shut-up. He is a constant source of embarrassment for all of us. What’s a mother to do? *absentmindedly wipes hands on apron* God forbid he should end up President someday.
jim’s mom
MOM!!!!
because a guy with pancreatic cancer needs a new liver?
no, but after a trip to the hospital, he”found ” some livers to sell
You’ve got to be careful, there must be 50 ways to leave your liver, at the hospital that is.
*snort* Hop on the Gurney, Ernie…
Get a new cot, Mott.
Take a temp in back, Jack..
jo pay 400 mill for a picture tard pod
this is stolen from mad but still really funny
what is all this i don’t understand?