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SCIENCE
If you don’t understand how it works, don’t talk to me about how it is going to destroy the world.
(Large Hadron Collider)
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Cheezburger Network Blog
You know, you could substitute “Science” with any number of words defining political ideology or beliefs and it would still fit . . .
Indeed! And a few other things like various media.
And my new breadmaker that came with no instructions.
Does it look a lot like the one in the picture above?
When you take the bread basketty thing out, well, yes it does. Hmm. It did come in a very large box.
They may have had to send the instructions separately…in ten 18-wheelers.
We men don’t read instructions anyway. Irradiated crunchy U-shaped loaf anyone?
Is bread really supposed to move by itself, Keith? It’s got excellent motor skills for a baked good!
sounds like the wrong kind of bun in the oven.
OK, now I really have to order those monitor shields!
*wipes tea off of laptop screen*
Too soon. I had a nightmare in which I was being chased by vicious pastry. Seriously. It. was. awful.
BTW, Diss, you look nice in that outfit.
*continues to look through binoculars in a stalk-y manner*
Uh-oh….I just changed, too.
The blancmange means to win Wimbledon!!!!!!!!!
Wait, you were being chased by pastry and you ran away?!?! I don’t get it, if it was me I would be running TO the pastry.. especially if it had either apples or cream cheese!
I know, Eddie, it sounds completely crazy that I would be running AWAY from pastry. But I have to tell you it was a terrifying nightmare. I woke up in a cold sweat. (done being serious)
This is so hard for me…
*hugs self*
The pastry was wearing clown makeup and carrying axes. I’m never going to look at profiterole the same way again.
*curls up in corner and weeps.
Pastries with axes and looking like clowns.. hmm, I don’t normally interpret dreams but I would say in this case lay off the Menudo.
The soup or the “band”?
Oh, I forgot about the ‘band’.. I say both in this case.
Hmmm…since I never liked the band that’s a moot point. But is menudo soup known to give you nightmares?
On a related point…It seem almost every culture has a tripe soup. I had grandparents that lived in Soviet Georgia who made Khashi (tripe stew made with about 2 pounds of garlic, cooked for 8 hours, served with milk, chased with vodka, before the men headed out for “hunting” prior to sunrise). Now THAT stuff would give you nightmares, put hair on your chest, cure a hangover, and kill any living creature (that hadn’t eaten Khashi) that came within 50 feet of you.
Also used to strip paint, and if applied directly to the skin it would remove the hair it had just put on your chest.
In Soviet Russia, pastry eats you!
*puts down mallet* I think I fixed it…
HEY BUBBA Wach dis!
Classic last words before the dialing of 911. Runner up being ‘Bet you don’t think I can…’!
Or maybe,”OK…get ready to run!”
Hey guys! Watch thi–
Second runner up being “Hey, hold my beer…..”
Wait wait wait. We can’t have TWO Justas! That’s inconceivable!
InconCEIvable!
But can’t we keep both of them? They’re cute, and they don’t take up much room! *puppydog eyes*
Ok, ok. I relent. We can have two.
Hmm…. I’m guessing that this applies to Global Warming or Climate Change or whatever they’re calling it this week…
No, because in that case the science is settled.
SETTLED.
Not.
Nothing in science is EVER settled. Especially something with so many variables as the weather.
Seriously, did you not see the Al Gore movie? With the smokestack and the hurricane on the poster? Settled.
James Hansen also told me so.
SETTLED.
If it’s on Wikipedia, it has to be true… and global warming is on Wikipedia.
WIKISETTLED.
Burn.
Nobody ever sees the Wikipedia closure coming. It’s like the Spanish Inquisition of locked in facts!
As a refresher for everyone this is the chain of science:
Hypothesis > Testable Theory > Experimentation > Revision > Peer Revision > Accepted Theory > Law > Wikipedia.
not in this country.
Hypothesis -> Power Point -> Video -> Wiki -> Law -> Kangaroo Court
Actually it’s more like
Complete Bonkers Theory -> No Evidence Whatsoever -> Wikipedia -> “Truth”
Well, anyone who can build a crane that would hoist Al Gore 15 feet MUST know science.
Or at least the branch of applied science called engineering!
Actually, science has expanded and specialized so much in the past 30 years, that no one person can know all of ‘science’.
—-
Does anyone else remember a regular radio clip called ‘Ask Dr. Science’? Irritating guy, as I recall.
“He knows MORE than you do!” Yes. Kinda funny, if I recall.
And I remember “Ask Dr Ruth”. What happened to the old Dwarf Doctor??
She’s still around. I think she has a website now, and I recall reading that she gave a public talk in Boston this past summer. Not much can keep her down!
I just read her entry on Wikipedia. She was a SNIPER in the Israeli Army. (Then again she was that small she probably couldn’t have been seen
) You just couldn’t make that sort of stuff up could you 
It does explain why she is so much more scary than the average sechs therapist!
Climate change.
So many idiots were thinking that global warming meant everywhere just got warmer and whats wrong with that? that they use climate change to help reinforce the idea that some places, such as the UK could actually get a lot colder and wetter.
When are you going to take action on the real causes of Climate Change, you know things like continental drift and global vulcanism?
That’s illogical, Captain..
explain
No.
Chem 102 from first year: they’ve plotted atmospheric CO2 levels they’ve measured, then compared them to production by natural causes and human causes. Neither of the natural nor human plots explains the trend, but put them together (with more weight on the human aspects), and the trends match. So yes, natural flux does have an effect, but not *nearly* the same as what we’re doing.
Humans are the cause of *excessive* global warming. No doubt about it.
How much more weight was put onto human causes? Your comment provides no scale on how big a problem we are.
I found a Norwegian research article which only traces the amount of Carbon 14 (radioactive form created in the atmosphere) since 1960. The percentage spiked in the 1960s (due to bomb testing), and has declined ever since. However, we all know that the overall carbon concentration in the atmosphere has increased over this same time. So that means that the increase in carbon in the atmosphere has to be coming from non-atmospheric sources (living organisms would have the carbon-14 including variety, since we all breath–and eat carbon-fixing plants). The only non-atmospheric sources would be geologic emissions (like volcanoes) and the burning of fossil fuels.
Click on my name for the link.
Ok, that makes it a bit more clear. Thanks!
Political ideology: yes. Beliefs: no. Science is different from beliefs in that it is (relatively) clear how it works and in that it can be explained. “Beliefs” are just a feeling that is really vague to anyone who doesn’t share it.
Still, not understanding beliefs (or possibly not understanding humans?) leads to doomsday ideas on what this or that religion will mean for the world.
No trouble with that if it’s based on arguments. Only the fact that you shouldn’t judge beliefs if you don’t understand them is nonsense, because the problem is that people can’t explain it. Because an explanation isn’t possible as it is a feeling, or something like that. Not judging science if you don’t understand it is more realistic in that way. If you interpret it wrong, it’s your own problem as it’s really clear and only one way to interpret it. (well, not the bit of science where there’s discussion about practical effects but then there’s at least discussion with solid, clear arguments)
Essentially I agree with you. I guess I’ve just come across one too many people with a strong conviction that Islam will destroy the world and letting muslim immigrants into the country is DOOM. :p
Don’t be daft. Islam won’t destroy the world. That’s soooo 2005.
Mayans are the new threat to humanity!
Actually nothing will happen in 2012. It’s merely the similar sort of predictions that the Aztecs had every 52 years when they carried out their “New Fire Ceremony” (Look it up on the Interweb) and they thought that if it wasn’t carried out then the world would destroy itself. Well everyone is still here. Same thing with the Mayan Calendar. It’s reaching the end of their age so everyone thinks that “Oooh. This means the end of the world”, when all it means is that one year will close on 31st December 2012 and a new one will begin on 1st January. Just like every other year.
The real problem here is that it’s fairly common for people to claim that their *beliefs* are “science”. Heck, even that their *desires* are “science”.
Well, yes, but I think that’s another question.
I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond.
Do you expect me to talk
No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.
OK…um…look…that thing is really hot and it’s getting reeeeally close to my junk soooo…maybe we can, like, discuss stuff, OK???
Oh! You want to talk! *sits down with coffee mugs and begins speaking at an incredibly high speed* SOhowhaveyoubeen? I’lltellyouhowI’vebeen. Justawful. Thanksgivingisanightmare,themotherinlawdoesn’tlikemycooking, theniecesandnephewsarerunningamuk. Theturkeyisn’tdefrosting, thecranberrysauceisasolidlump, thecathasgonemissing, I’msoooonotpreparedforblackfridayshopping…
*goes on like this for several hours* Sooo…What do you think?
OK.
(smirk) I think waiting for a micro-black hole to develop so it would suck Bond in bit by bit until his eyeballs exploded would be *really* dull to watch (until, obviously, the eyeball exploding bit – that would be fun!)
People think it’s going to destroy the world?
“ZOMG IT IS MAKING THE BLACK HOOOOLLLLES AND WE ARE ALL GOING TO GET SUCKED IN AND THE EARTH WILL BE DESTROOOOYED1!!11!!!elebenty”
Something like that.
Well, they’ve spent so much money on it, we should expect no less. I mean bashing a few subatomic particles to bits just seems a bit lame…
I know if I built a machine 53 miles long I’d want it to do something epic.
I expect at least one of: hyperdrive / teleport / time travel to come of this.
Done!
The Higgs Boson particle has traveled back in time to ensure that it’s never discovered/created. Pretty cool, huh?
And it snogged its mother.
Well no wonder nature finds Higgs Boson to be an abomination! Eewww.
Enough of your vacuous comments!
Hey!! We put that comment through a Vacuous cleaner I’ll have you know
it’s a 1.21 jigawatt time travel paradox!! Great Scott!!
Is the flux capacitor…fluxing?
Don’t they have a treatment for that yet?
Yeah its called Flux Balm. and it stings when you apply it.
Can it go and flux itself?
The problem with Flux Capacitors is that they strobe. No sooner is it Flux On, then it’s Flux Off.
Do you apply it directly to the forehead?
Or directly to “where it hurts.” Ohhhh yeeeeeah.
Dirty.
Michael Kaku built one for his HS science project?
Did I spell his name right? Either way that is EPIC!!!
You do know it’s not baseless claims by idiots saying such things, but rather scientists stating there is a possibility of bad outcomes.
Er, not really. Rather the opposite in my reading of it.
Scientists wondered about it, but they also realized that a portion of cosmic rays that strike the upper atmosphere have even more energy than the LHC can pack into a collision. Since these cosmic rays are a regular event, we know either 1) the black holes do not happen, or 2) they happen all the time without hurting anything.
That’s a little different from the claims of the tin-foil-hat crowd who claim that the LHC is going to kill us all. If you understand what you are talking about, you don’t make claims from just half of the available data.
Oooh, very nice argument, I like.
Course its a real life example that supersedes the previously advanced theoretical possibilities, so the people who initially said it might destroy the world are not complete idiots (just a little narrow in their thinking). And then the concept was of course attention grabbing, so you can understand how it was trolled by all the main stream media outlets.
The above “lol” is really just a statement of snotty nosed superiority over the less well read masses, who found the idea intriguing and amusing. So smile, dont glare or patronise when people suggest it.
Even the theoretical physics aspect of it though never really supported a conclusion that the Earth could end for 2 reasons:
- Black holes of the magnitude you would expect to be created on the subatomic level in the LHC would decompose in nanoseconds from radiated energy (yes, black holes radiate… Reference Stephen Hawkings’ work).
- Black holes can’t really be “created”, nor do they “suck things in”. A black hole can have no more mass than what it started with… so essentially any black hole created would potentially sink to the centre of the Earth, but everything else would just keep rotating around it unchanged.
Clarify: A black hole created in the LHC would only have a mass equal to that of the particles which were used (and consumed) to make it. You can’t create a bigger black hole (mass wise) than the mass you start with.
Sure you can — if the black hole captures more matter than it’s radiating, it’ll gain mass.
Mmmmm I would concede a point to you Dhoti; but the statement “you cannot create a bigger black hole than the mass you start with” is still correct – if it sucks in more stuff, then it’s using its own energy to expand. Grow. Whatever. It started out one size and then due to its nature expanded. Not the same thing.
See below: alex was saying that, because the black hole has the same mass as whatever collapsed to form it, it can’t suck anything in. (I think that’s what he/she meant by “nor do they ‘suck things in’”, anyway.) That’s not, I think, true in the general case.
Well, maybe you should have said that then, huh.
Right, except that the black hole will still only exert the same gravity on the matter around it that was already being exerted (since no new mass was created, gravity hasn’t changed). It just means you end up with the Earth continuing to rotate around a nano-scale black hole sitting at the centre of mass of the planet.
Except, of course, that the black hole wouldn’t survive long enough for that to occur.
I wish it had happened. That would be awesome to have a innocuous black hole sitting in earths core. I know it wouldn’t do anything and I would never be able to see it, but it would still be neat
The Terrafirmians might be able to send you a picture.
No, they stopped responding to my e-mails when they found all the surveillance cameras I’d put up in their bedrooms. Also..there’s the restraining order that won’t let me under the earths crust anymore.
Got any more of those cameras? I’m falling behind on my stalking of Diss and I’m sure that she misses that creepy “I always fell like somebody’s watching me” feeling. I wouldn’t want to disappoint her.
No. They kept them all after the court settlement. Stupid Terrafirmians. Now all i can afford are a few strategically placed mirrors.
Yes, but now it’s *only* exerting the gravitational force (ignoring Hawking radiation for a moment). Doesn’t that mean that a nearby particle, previously in equilibrium due to one of the other forces, could be drawn in?
I don’t think the creation of a black hole is necessarily an external non-event, if I’m reading you right; you seem to be saying that only matter that was originally bound for whatever used to be there will fall into the black hole, which I don’t think is correct.
Regardless, given the size and lifespan of microscopic black holes, I don’t think it’s likely to absorb even a single stray particle in any case.
Well, yes and no. It will be exerting gravity still, but also will be exerting some pressure due to radiation. A black hole is just a mass so large that it has a radial limit (the event horizon) where even a photon of light can’t escape it’s gravity.
I think I’m making this more convoluted than it needs to be, I’ll say it this way instead:
Current theory holds that there’s a super-massive black hole at the centre of our (and most other) galaxies. There are several stars that have been observed revolving around this object. They’re not falling into it, they’re just revolving around it the same they would anything else of a similar mass.
If the Earth was a static system only held together by gravity counteracted by internal pressure, than perhaps it could collapse in? However, the Earth, in reality is a more complex system than that, for starters, is revolving around it’s centre of mass.
Just because a system is currently stable doesn’t mean it’s always been that way.
Create: vt : to cause to come into existence. Keep up.
Now do you see why I yank your chain? Your little reactions are just hysterical! LOL!
Begone, adults are speaking.
Where? I only see PKers!
Compared to Keithy, I mean.
Nah–all of us PKers are goofs, no exceptions!
Dhobi, did you READ what alex wrote? Your response indicates not. Admit it. Be a man.
Did you UNDERSTAND what alex wrote? Or what I wrote? Given that you were doing research in *the dictionary*, probably not. (While you’re there, look up “context”. It’s a noun.)
Normally, I get a chuckle out of playing uptight pricks like yourself, but I’m starting to feel bad; I get the sense that you may in fact be mildly mentally disabled.
You still haven’t admitted it. But I’m glad you’re beginning to realize that I’m only MILDLY mentally disabled. When you realize what an a$$hat you are you will be making further progress.
I’ll assume, by your continued and pointless responses, that you have absolutely no frickin’ idea what the original conversation is about. (Or prove me wrong — explain alex and my points. Go ahead. I dare you.)
When you have to resort to mimicry — and really, that’s the best you can do? — it’s just, well, sad. (Not that I’m not laughing at you, retard or not. You’re such an amusing little puppet.)
If time kermits, I think you should punch him, Judy.
Boy Howdy-that’s what he should Doody, all right!
@Dhobi, I take it a BJ is out of the question then?
Blue Blue windows behind Oscar
Elmo moon on the rise
Big Bird flying across the sky …
Actually I’d better explain it. In cake language. I imagine you like cake, Dhoti? Basically what alex was saying was that you can’t create a cake that weighs more than the ingredients that you put into it. Then up pops Dhoti and says ‘You can if I come and sit on it’. Too late Dhoti, the cake is created, and 200 lb of sh!t and sawdust is not going to improve it.
Anyway I think you have done something positive in one of your earlier comments. You said ‘ leaving aside Hawking radiation for a moment…’. I think that has a chance of becoming a new meme. It might need some alteration along the lines of ‘leaving aside Dhoti’s theory of cake improvement for a moment…’. Basically it’s in reply to every self-important cut-and-paste artist who wants the world to imagine he knows more than he does about any particular subject. It certainly cracked me up. But then I’m easily amused.
Because you don’t understand, of course, nobody else does, either. Typical.
Still, I’m amused beyond words that you actually think you’re funny, and that any of this is making you look good. Not to mention that, for multiple days now, you’ve had nothing better to do than let me lead you around like a puppet.
Oh my god…this is too funny. Dhoti sez..”Nobody understands me!!” Can I get a WWWAAAHHHHH!!!
Stick to the rhyming nests, brak — your reading comprehension skills are failing you.
See?! See!? Brak’s right! No one understands you!
There was an “educated” thought that the initial nuclear explosion would start a chain reaction that would consume all matter until it ran out.
I did read about why it couldn’t happen. Something about event horizons; kind of made sense at the time…. *brain explodes*
Actually, no, nothing like that at all. Wow.
Fvck off Dhopi.
I can just imagine all the brow furrowing and head scratching that went into that one. Zing!
You know, being an arrogant ass just for the sake of it make you, well, an ass.
Well now, since I’m such a retard, suppose you explain (in short words obviously) why a black hole will not consume the universe, without using the words ‘event horizon’? Suppose you contribute something either funny, or intelligent, or relevant, or educational, rather than just twattish? Marks will be given.
Or fVck off, either is fine.
How is it my problem that you can’t keep up? Lashing out at me may make you feel better, but it’s not productive.
Since you are, as you say, a retard, I have to point out that the answer you’re looking for now (“why aren’t black holes slowly consuming the universe?”) is different from what you were discussing before (“why won’t the initial ‘nuclear explosion’ result in a universe-consuming chain reaction?”). If you don’t understand the question, there’s no point in providing an answer.
Let me see.. no marks for funny. One for intelligent, none for educational, none for relevance and minus one for twattish. That leaves you with zero. Keep up the good work, Dhotage.
It’s like you’re a stereotypical villager in an old monster movie — the moment you see something your superstitious peasant brain can’t comprehend, out come the torch and pitchfork.
Again, your smooth cortex is not my problem.
You started with the torch and pitchfork, Dhonki.
Anyway, I can’t sit around gabbing, I have to go and hide. I think I can hear Russian tanks coming down the street.
(This is like watching the Palin/Reagan/Bush/Batsh!t crazy wing of the republican party feuding with the George Will wing. Love it love it love it!)
Someone pass me the popcorn?
*passes PM the popcorn*
You should hang out more.
Well, if I knew the entertainment was like this, I’d have been here more already! (nom nom nom)
My mouth sure is dry all of a sudden. Anyone want a Winter Hook Christmas Ale from Red Hook?
No thanks, I’ve got some hard cider on tap. I’m good. Though if anyone wants some margaritas I recommend you get one before Rando gets here and drinks them all.
Oooh! I would! Thanks.
PK is fun!!! bravo for the laughs and giggles while reading this thread.
(Damn these margaritas are good.)
Wait…what?
Well, I realize this will probably fall on deaf ears, but the reason that a black hole won’t consume the universe is because the universe is expanding. Eventually this is predicted to result in the “cold death” of the universe, but our little science experiment will have practically zero impact on that. (“Practically” because it does contribute to the net increase in entropy, but then again, so do your comments on this thread, so way to go in contributing to the end of the universe!)
*applauds*
Science AND a sense of humor. My kind of guy/gal! (Nebton being one of those gender-neutral handles)
Well, you know here at the PK laboratory it’s usually very quiet, which white coated scientists calmly analysing lols and writing short reports, sometimes with a little gentle humour thrown in. And polite, in the way that laboratories often are. But every so often all hell breaks loose and the place is like a monkey house. Lols get mixed up, reputations are dismantled, name calling is indulged in.. it’s not good for science but maybe a little for humour.
Which? Which? Oy vey.
which witch is which?
In the end, only entropy can triumph.
It certainly has in my house…
I was having great difficulty destroying the World until I discovered science. MWAHAHAHAHA!
I was having great trouble blinding people until I discovered science.
*snort*
OMG that so takes me back to student parties in the early 80s!
This now-graduated bio major LOVED that song!
Good heavens Miss Sakimoto! You’re beautiful!
There’s a pitcher of royalties waiting for you on another LOL, Ivan dah’ling.
Follower.
Oooh, look. I have my very own stalker-troll!!
Look, look what I did Ivan. Are you proud of me? Please say your proud of me Ivan.
Oh, so sad. I’m so sorry that mommy and daddy didn’t love and hug you enough.
Maybe they did a little TOO much? That would explain a lot.
*hugs Mina*
Geek-sister!
I hate to say this Mina but I believe you’re mistaken… nothing will ever explain guest. Nothing…..
I can explain guest very easily: He’s an idiot. Period.
Anyone else notice all of our new conservatrolls (guest, jim, n00bs, that other guy whose name I forget) all seem to have the same style, the same ignorance, and the same all lowercase names? I’m starting to think multiple socks.
Well, jim at least seems capable of having a debate though I can’t say as I agree with him or his sources.
jim has also thrown in a few funnies/funny attempts. guest doesn’t even try.
@guest. I’m thinking you don’t get too many dates…
I’ve had the same girlfriend for four years now. She has a dry sense of humor too so it works.
Oh, thanks a bunch rando, I’ve never been trollish to anyone on here but I’ve been attacked by some of your pals for no reason. I don’t care what you think of me but jim is nice and comes with the funny which is what this site is all about. So there.
All right, n00bs, I’ll give you that you are far more tolerable than guest or the other conservatrolls, but we’ve certainly had our run-ins.
Mercy sakes, what a jealous idiot.
guest is angry that he’s not one of the cool kids like HOW.
Hey, guest, it’s not just liberals who don’t like you!
Thank you, I apply honey butter very liberally to my toast.
I’m conservative with the jelly.
I apply cream cheese moderately to my bagels.
I don’t know if that really works.
I apply honey directly to my mouth liberally.
And other places.. Where is bitter anyway?
Dunno, but well, if you get lonely while he’s gone I always have room for you in me shrubbery *nudge nudge*
Woohoo!! *hops in shrubbery with Default*
*wink, wink*
Bushisms? Too soooooon!!!11!!
That’s exactly what I though. Actually, I also assumed he’s jealous that he’s not in on all the “in” jokes. *trots off to claim his royalties before the ice melts*
hey Rando, you’ll always be one of the cool kids in my book. I don’t care what everybody else is saying about you.
You bet! Rando has permanent lawn privileges..
It’s not everyone. It’s just a few butthurt conservatrolls and a couple socks who think they’re funny.
I however hate you…. *BITE*
Ewwww, spit it out, it’s a piece of ass!!
Oh wait, it’s Rando…
Ewwww, spit it out!
*gags a little*
Worst piece of ass… EVAR!
*points and laughs*
Um…what just happened here?
Something *bursts into song* Wooooooooonderfuuuuuul!
Sorry, I made a joke at your expense. Please forgive me, I’ll let you have anything from the cooler!
*raids the fridge for beer*
You’re forgiven.
Try the Crown Lager.. I think you’ll approve.
I have people kissing my ass? You know, guest, nobody on here has done a better job of pumping my ego than you and the conservatrolls. I figured there were people who like me on here, but I didn’t know the trolls thought I was IMPORTANT enough to have influence or people kissing up to me. Apparently you guys think I run the place or something. LMAO
And because some conservatives get along with the liberals, that makes them kiss-ups? What a narrow mind you have.
I’m pretty puffed up too now. I’m “Daddy”. *struts*
Oh, that’s MUCH better.
That was your ego being pumped? My word..
And you MOLD the world!
And MILDEW the universe!
Ivan, between you and me, we can take over PK! First, the website, tomorrow the WORLD!!!!!
Now all we need are some fricken’ sharks with laser beams on their heads.
Woops! Forgot to change the name on the laptop.
I, for one, am tired of seeing folks like Ed, JAC, and Froo get slammed by incompetent idiots, just because the idiots lack the patriotism to see that all Americans are in the same boat, no matter who’s working the rudder.
Thanks PM. Although, I’ll be honest, I think I tend to blend into the wallpaper around here with my politics. Still, guest is a twat if he thinks anyone is kissing Rando’s ass, especially JAC! I mean really, for one I don’t see JAC doing anything like that, and two, I don’t see Rando appreciating it if he did.
“Still, guest is a twat if he thinks anyone is kissing Rando’s ass, especially JAC! ”
JAC recently said something about not wanting to come across as if he means things as an insult, iirc. (Just last week or something, someone else remembers better I bet.) In guest’s book I think that means being a wussy pushover, or something. Insulting and being generally arsey must be a sign of independence and integrity, right? :p
It seems to be working well for him. Although, the rest of us just want to kick his ass for merely breathing.
I’ve always found that a sharp pointy stick usually does the job better than science ever would
this is the thing that everyone was sceared of when was going to be turned on, then it didnt work, now every has forgotten about it, daft planet we live on.
Actually, people have not forgotten about it. It’s been the subject of a lot of new quantum physics theories. It’s very interesting. Look up the Higgs Boson particle and how it has theoretically created events in the future that have impacted the past. Super cool stuff.
Don’t you just love how quantum physics only applies to tiny things and that big things need a whole new set of laws?
Thomas Kuhn wins again. Don’t set your butt too firmly in that paradigm, sir!
I’d quite like to see them collide two supertankers inside the collider at near light speed, just to make sure, though.
if they can get a supertanker to light speed, then we need to get on searching for Ghaia, the original planet of the human species. duh.
What about Kobol?
I gave up that programming language in favor of Fortran..
Eddie, you’re hilarious.
My dad got laid off in.. 1980something, and he was jobless and depressed for forever. Then he took a COBOL class and got a new job.
Now they don’t use it anymore.. Handy how that turned out.
Well, not that they don’t use it.. But.. You know what I mean. Damnit.
And that is exactly why I’m not a programmer. I saw the writing on the wall and figured I would go into hardware..
Now he programs in MUMPS..
I was taking classes in ADA because I was told that is where the money was going to be. I never finished and went into computer networking. My one claim to fame is a program I wrote for NASA that would compute the properties and mass inertia for any airplane in the inventory. 30,000 lines of code and 40 subroutines later it was a fine piece of work. Then I got laid off.. bastards!
*waves fist in their general direction*
I also heard they killed Kenny.
Those bastards!
Ada. Hehe. That was the language used for our first course in imperative programming. They tended to use semi-obscure languages, probably to make the conditions a bit more even for the students.
Ah!! I remember COBOL. The reason it died out is because it was so bloody easy to make a complete arse out of a program just for the need of a comma or a full stop. I once did a program which had over 120 errors. Found out that a full stop was missing, put it back in and then recompiled it and cleared up over 80 of the errors. I also remember Fortran. Didn’t one of the old 8bit machines use Fortran as a programming language?? (I’ve got a funny feeling it was the Jupiter Ace or am I wrong???)
~~pouting. no Isaac Asimov readers I guess….
*sigh*
No, I got it. I was just making a BSG reference to combat..
I fail. *hangs head in shame*
Are you hitting on me? shame turns me on.
*makes another addition to her strange fetishes found on the internet list* Two in one night, a new record.
what else is on that list? i’m curious.
My shame? Or you shame.
BSG? i’m thinking battle star galactica. don’t you realize only fake dorks watch that show? real dorks hate that show.
*balks*
Yes, that is what I meant. I love that show. Now I -definitely- won’t hit on you..
*hands Charro her pitchfork and torch* You might be needing these.
*accepts gratefully* Thank you.
i’m done with BSG fans anyway, i think there’s a new vampire movie i can arrogantly dis instead. you gotta admit though, me and you were magic while we lasted. we can always be friends instead.
I dunno. You called me a fake dork. I take that very personally.
that means your not a dork. see it works out good both ways.
for your enjoyment. https://www.opendrive.com/files/5785152_ZatK9/06%20_%20We%20Live%20In%20A%20World.mp3
funniest comedian ever. he died in 1994 of pancreatic canceer, but the comedy is still relevant.
I am -so- a dork. *incensed*
@bitter charro. 2 points–you took bitter’s name. Does this mean you two are married now?
And, maybe you should change your handle to ‘dorktator’?
bitter did make an honest mermaid out of me.. *blush*
I dunno about being a Dorktator though. I rather like being a Dicktator.
If this machine never works properly, then the only black hole created will be in the pockets of the people who funded it.
Hot Pockets?
~~mouth watering. mmmmm black hole hot pockets…..
Yeah, they’re good, but after you eat one, you’ll be hungry forever.
that explains a lot. the conspiracies are true. we all have black holes in our bellies, and the Corporation Hot Pocket gave them to us.
I think my pancreas was just sucked into a black hole…and it hurts…
Ow my pancreas
And you can’t exactly use it a found-art installation if it doesn’t work.
Oh noes, I think I hate you.
I get to the end of the line with a comment about black holes and bank accounts, and there you are again, stealing my thunder!
I want my thunder, dammit!
*throws tantrum*
*900 miles away LHC is hit by tantrum shockwave*
SNAP!
*another $10 000 000 bill for repairs!*
I guess we could call it a stimulus package?
What the hell are you talking about? It DOES work…
I heard it melted a candy bar in some guy’s pocket.
i think that was at the Willy Wonka factory, not the LHC.
Psssst, that’s how microwave ovens were invented, while doing experiments on early Radar.
Really? Now THAT’S cool. I love this place. I learn something new every day.
The experiment in the beginning was an attempt to make a death ray, as in kill people with energy, experiments. While testing, an airplane flew in the path, and it showed up on a scope that was taking measurements. 2+2=4, they then knew they could find airplanes with it, but that it would take too much power to kill people with it.
And later, while learning how to make radar work, experimenting with a thing called a magnetron, they melted the candy bar while testing it. After the war, he did experiments again, and developed the first oven.
You sir, have won 3.2 gold-plated internets for that history lesson. Full of geeky WIN!
Well, you know, laid off, Discovery Channel, Military Channel, TLC, ect…..
And using your time on the idiot channel to actually learn something! I think that justifies an additional 0.3 internet in and of itself.
*fills out the order form*
Just don’t allow Kanye at the awards ceremony.
JAC: I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but 1+3=4 and Voltron invented the microwave in order to save the world from Willy Woka’s evil oven invention, that has the capcity to super heat & freeze the world at the same time! At the same time!!
Kanye is a jackass.
Not so surprising. A lot of great inventions come from the bi-products of military research initiatives to kill people. That seems so counter intuitive to me. But i’m not complaining as I’m about to go heat up a hot pocket in my microwave while I use the internet to play video games and talk to my friend on my cell phone.
Actually as far as I heard the story it goes – When doing experiments on Radar a scientist (based in Britain) found that there were dead birds round the base of the Radar dishes. After inspections they discovered that the birds were actually cooked from the inside. After the war it was discovered that the cause of the deaths were actually down to the part that emitted the radar signals. This was eventually built into the first Microwave.
JAC is correct as far as the original idea behind the “Chain Home” Radio Direction Finding, German “Giant Wurzburg” and similar systems were correct.
The modern microwave oven is also a development of the cavity microtron, which was developed for the Aliies short-wave (10cm or less) radar systems (2-stage Merlin Mosquito nightfighters, Lightning M, P-61 Black Widow, H2-S terrain radar), whilst the Germans were still using 33cm or so, hence the arrays of huge dipole antennae on their night fighters.
Let’s see, what has ‘science’ given us…hmm. Medical advances. Quality of life. Better food. The atomic bomb. Chemical warfare. Yup, all of those are totally benign, in no way capable of destroying the world. Whew. I feel so much better now.
History of Science, summarized :
(1) C’mon – what could *possibly* go wrong?
(2) Well… how were *we* supposed to know *that* would happen?
Along with spilling tea on the cell culture plate, and deciding to run the experiment anyway…resulting in a major discovery! (happened to a jerk of a teacher that I had once. honest!)
GM = Day of the Triffids.
Don’t forget LSD!
I’m guessing it’s really going to start putting interesting things out right around Dec. 21, 2012.
knight rider 2010 will save us.
Where’s kit and hasselhoff when you really need them?
I’d be more worried about Dec. 02, 2021, if I were you… Or maybe November 02, 2011?
In 1814 we took a little trip….
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississipp..
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans….
Hailey???? What’s my daughter doing on PK?
I don’t know, but now might be a good time to explain the difference between myths and science.
*DOUBLE FACEPALM*
Seriously, you looked for it man..
Smah those particals, baby! Boom Bah!
Can I lend you a consonant?
*hands over an S*
I’d like to buy a U, Pat.
Yeah, I’m taking a typing class, learning to type with proper form. Hense (SP?) the typos.
Hence.
(Since you asked.)
Boom.
(Bah.)
haheha. spellin iz funz.
omg, really good caption
physicist here ;D
That’s definitely gonna destroy the world. I mean look at it. It’s all wacky and sciencey and stuff.
Please tell me this is a sarcasm…
Hate to harp on this… but this is *exactly* why people need to stop freaking out and listen to their doctors when it comes to H1N1 and the vaccine. It’s safe, effective, and the same composition as every seasonal vaccine. If you don’t understand what Freund’s Complete Adjuvant is, you should read some more immunology textbooks. Or listen to the people that actually did. Bah.
– Atalanta
Frazzled microbiology major
*have a cookie*
–understanding biology prof.
as long as we have a microbiologist here, can i ask you something? When I walk into a public restroom and smell someone else’s poop-mosphere, am I actually inhaling tiny airborne particles of their poop?
Yeah. Carbon Dibackside. Is it a wave or a particle? I’ve often wondered that!
My non-microbiology understanding of the ‘aroma’ is that it is from the hydrogen sulfide, indole and skatole gases which the bacteria made, while digesting gut contents for their own use. But if you are close enough in time and location to the flushing at the production site, I suppose it could be possible? Since we usually have stall walls and doors in the way, I wouldn’t think it was a huge risk, however… But I would like to hear from Atalanta also! –assuming she didn’t dive back into his/her studying?
The Victorians thought that the smell was the disease-carrier rather than just a symptom of nearby disease-carrying stuff. A lot of folk resisted having wcs inside the house for that reason.
Outdoor priveys. Now THERE is a smell. *gags discretely*
Yup. My grandma had one. For those caught short on winter nights there was also the chamber pot under the bed. Oh the times we had…
Because the chamber pot in the bedroom would be so much safer than the WC in it’s own room. Victorian logic fail!
Well the chamber pot usually did live in its own cabinet (called a commode), for what that is worth. I actually found one in an antique store–the backplates for the handles are engraved with pots with a flower and butterfly–as if that would make them smell better!
Interestingly enough, there’s been a number of studies on whether or not the flushing toilet puts poo particles on your toothbrush. Some studies say yes others say no. I would call the results inconclusive at this point.
Which is why I’m glad the toilet has it’s own room over here.
isn’t there a mythbuster episode that tested this? I can’t remember the results, but i’m pretty sure they DID find fecal matter on their toothbrushes…..yummy.
Do you keep your toothbrush in a public bathroom stall? Weirdo!
of course, right next to where i keep my sandwich meat. ham and cheese anyone?
Wow – leave a conversation for couple of hours, people start pulling out pitchforks and making poop jokes… XD
Yeah, I’m with viking gal on this one – it’s certainly possible. But honestly, the adverse effects are probably immeasurable. Give your immune system some credit – it’s worked through parasites, viruses, bacteria, splinters, rusty nails… I think it can handle a little fecal matter. And besdies, what’s the worst thing that could be in it? Maybe a colonization of normal E. coli that you already have in your natural flora? Or a random virus you’ve probably come across before and your memory T cells will have a field day with?
Nah. On the off chance it did happen – your immune system would have it licked, no problem. /bows
/takes cookie – OM NOM NOM
– Atalanta
P.S. – (Consider this the first time being a micro major has ever been so popular.
)
Noooess! Your scienceness is ebil magic! Witch! *Brings out the pitchforks and torches*
Hate to harp on this… but this is *exactly* why people need to stop freaking out and listen to their doctors when it comes to H1N1 and the vaccine. It’s safe. It’s effective. It’s the same composition as the regular seasonal vaccine.
Basically, if you don’t know what hemagglutinin and neuraminidase are, you should read some immunology textbooks. Or listen to the people that actually did. /facepalm
– Atalanta
Frazzled microbiology major
Bah, duplicate post apologies.
See, the second time it starts to seem like harping.
(kidding!) Well said, and welcome — new here?
Since you apologized, we’ll let it go………………………..
This time -_-
*puts up the pitchfork*
*blows out the torch*
Damn.
Damn. Now what do I do with this 2×4 with the rusty nail in it?
Hang on to it, I’m sure you will need it again within the next 24 hours.
Things were so quiet around here without Dhoti too.. *giggle maniacally*
/shuffles out conspicuously
Wait, look! There’s a conspicuous microbiology major! Should we chase?
It’s shuffling, so it’s probably injured. That’ll make it easier to catch. I say lets go for it!
Hang on a mo. Why do I feel like an opsonized Staph. aureus bacterium that’s wandered into the path of a roaming macrophage in the cutaneous-associated lymphoid tissue?
/flees incoming phagocytosis
Who are you calling a phag!?
Because…uh…because you…er…aw hell, I got nothing.
we don’t like your kind around here. now ‘get.
//loves and kisses
Fine! I’m leaving, but I’m taking my wings and and pitchfork and poorly fitting tights with me! *storms off on a huff*
you’re cool default. it’s the big word using Atlanta, i gots my problems with. looks like we got ourselves a ‘reader’ on our hands. get ur pitchfork, i’ll eat the wings, and lets burn us a wich.
‘Bout time we had ourselves a hangin’!
/hops on broomstick, sets course for Delta Vega, maximum warp
Sticks out thumb to hitch a ride on the broomstick. I like phagocytosis as much as the next gal. But if they’re going after readers, I want out of there, too!
I may not know how your hifalluntin’ science works, but I reckon I can make this shotgun work. *ominously sets bible down *
Jebadia
Grizzled backwoods moonshiner
Thank you! I just wrote an 8 page research paper on the LHC and I am so happy someone agrees with me. It might help people if they actually READ credible information too. Dumbasses.
I hope you don’t mean YOUR paper is credible.
Mine is. I used Wikipedia.
I used Charmin..
Don’t squeeze it.
Oops..
There is lots of credible information from physicist on both sides. They say worst case scenario is that it has a 1 in 50,000,000 chance to create a black hole big enough to destroy the world… That odds you are willing to bet on? O.o
crazy how the numbers ended up on such an even number. almost seems like it was made up, instead of actually calculated.
well it’s a 50/50 shot it ends up even. Just like it is for ending up odd.
It probably is calculated, but it gets rounded to nearest order of magnitude when published.JJust like when someone says something will cost a trillion dollars, it is not a trillion on the money – hey that was an unintentional pun, extra points?
Only if it comes with a winning lotto ticket.
If someone told me that they would fire a gun at my head, and that it had a 1 in 50 mil chance of killing me, but that if it didn’t kill me, I wouldn’t gain anything real from it happening, I think I’d have to decline…
They’re waiting for you, Gordon… in the TEST chamber.
Awww, now I wanna play Half Life.
You know what will destroy you? Bill Nye….
Billy Nye will end your ass… with science!
He already blinded me with science.
Yeah, I know, it’s been done.
*dances liberally*
Uhm, Max? Is that David Tennant posing as your avatar?
Yum. Yum. YummyyumyumOMNOMNOMNOM.
It…. miiiiight be.
AAAH! the octopus is coming for meeeeeeee!
I have a black hole in my desk drawer. It eats my pens. Earth is safe as long as I keep buying pens. I am really hoping for a good xmas present for this sacrifice although I may consider letting the *alleged* History Channel have access. They could get a whole weeks’ worth of their new style crackpot theory “history made everyday” by us type programming out of it…
Particle physics gives me a hadron.
GROAN!
You’re a charming sort of quark, aren’t you.
I’m staying neutron in this one.
Now Im positive I lost an electron around here somewhere…
Hey, if that thing destroys the world by 2012, I win pizza and a soda…
Best thing to do is look at evidence – because no matter what you believe, it will not make that evidence any more or less true.
That’s why you can be pretty certain that scientists know what they are doing with this machine. Unlike unquestioning believers who always insist they are right all the time, scientists actually try to prove their own theories WRONG, and therefore make much more progress than any irrational believer ever will.
So no need to worry. Same thing with 2012 (I wonder what date the religions will pick for the next end-of-the-world hype?).
My latest theory on the 2012 thing is that sometime in early November, neatly printed letters will appear in the sky spelling out “It’s time to order your Mayan Long Count Calendar Refill.”
I’ll be upset if the World ends in 2012: that’s when I finish paying my mortgage…
That’s why it’s going to end.
*wipes Dr Pepper off the screen*
*sigh*
….that….IS 100% pure WIN!
You win a lifetime supply of internets for that.
My co-workers are looking at me funny because I’ve been doing LOL for several minutes now!
bitter troll does not believe in science…its made up fantasy bitter troll tells you!
I believe in bitter troll..
-hugs the charro- bitter troll believes in charro..and bitter troll believes in harvy dent
I don’t believe in Beatles. I just believe in me.
charro believes in the Joker.. Mmmm beautiful beautiful Joker..
wonder how he got those scars
I asked him once and he said “This one time, at band camp…”
I never get much of a chance to ask, what with that ball gag being in the way all the time..
Plus all the whimpering and the moaning gets in the way.
Well I don’t usually get the ball gag, I like to mouth off and give him more reasons to punish me.
That’s how I -get- the gag in the first place. Mouthing off that needs punishing..
Maybe my mouthing off isn’t offensive enough to him. And how come I never see you when I’m over there?
He ties me up in the closet.
Well, next time I’m over I’ll have to ask if he’ll take you out so we can all play together
I definitely could use a woman’s touch to my punishments..
OMG THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*brushes imaginary lint from shoulder*
OMG YOU’RE WELCOME!
Well, that puts the kibosh on the Global Warming debate.
…if you understand how it works then why do you need it?…
Well you se- Wait. What? Do you know how your liver works? Doesn’t matter if you do or not really, you still need it. Or maybe your car? Might not need it to live, but I doubt you’d give it up. Understanding how something works doesn’t mean you don’t need it.
Problem is we DON’T NEED a large hadron colider
It is a huge ass multi million dollar paper maiche volcano
currently it doesn’t have any practical applications
also ther amount of power needed to run it for about twenty minutes could run chicago for like a week.
I reckon it’s worth a few bob to help unravel the mystery of the universe.
How do you know we don’t need the LHC? Suppose that it leads to the breakthrough in atomic physics that makes room temperature fusion on the “Back to the Future” scale (reactor small enough to run your car on) possible? Won’t that solve a lot of problems with fossil fuels and CO2 emissions?
And we don’t need to know how to efficiently stack spheres in 23 dimensions.
Oh wait, we use that to make the internet more efficient.
And we don’t need to know how to make numbers which don’t exist (i).
Oh wait, they’re fundamental to modern physics and computer technology.
Just because you don’t know the purpose or don’t directly see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have one.
…so, this comment produced a collection of typists who have acknowledged individually they do not know how it will work…only that they will probably need some results/insights from a difficult machine…for some to supplement their livers…which filter toxins from the body and other tasks…which should be failing any second now…and they will have to wait in ques for a replacement…
…and when they wait…
…they will sit on their asses…
OK OK, here’s your $10 back. Now please sign this form relinquishing all rights to any future benefits of the research.
Sorry, that should read $2.
…this is fun…
Replace ‘science’ with autism, vaccinations or both, replace the picture with Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, J.B. Handley and Andrew J. Wakefield and we’re all set