OVERACHIEVEMENT
OVERACHIEVEMENT
Everything else you do will be compared to it.
(Apollo 11 liftoff)
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: Muze via Poster Builder
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First post! and its true(the pic)
assmonkey [noun]: 1. A monkey who enjoys asses. 2. A fantasy crossbreed between a donkey and a monkey. 3. Anyone who posts “first” on any website on the Internet. synonyms: asshat, assclown, fvcktard, dicksniffer antonym: human being, intelligent being
I’m going to be one of those people who reply to a comment at the very top of the comment section even though his comment has nothing to do with the comment he’s replying to, just so that it’s more likely that others will read this.
Okie dokie.
That went well, didn’t it?
Indeed.
And… exactly who the hell do you think you are?
Actually, we know who the hell HE is, what we’re trying to work out is just who the f*ck you think you are?
That’s Beartwig, Eds.
OMFG! IT’S BEARTWIG!
Ok, on a serious note, what the f*ck is a beartwig?
Oh.. you wanted REAL answers. Well, you will find no answers in this head what you see is what you get.
Cool! Can we kick it then?
Kick to kill..
I shall kick it, and beat it, and call it deadtwig..
Wait wait wait!
*holds Eddie and Charro back*
As Presidictator I need to make sure a Beartwig isn’t an endangered species!!
*looks at the facts*
Let’s see, he’s the only one of his kind… Shows signs of mental dysfunction…
Hmmmm *thumbs around*
Oh here it is… he’s not a cute, fuzzy animal. KICK AWAY!
No! Don’t do it! It’s a sea kitten! See how cute and cuddly it’s slimy scales and fins are?
Why do I keep wanting to add “Kick it good”? *hangs head in shame*
Thanks for the ear worm…I think?
why can’t you twerps use song references that are more current so i don’t get the earworm too?
and on another note since i’m here, what the holey heck is going on with the blasted reply buttom opening up the box at the bottom of the d@mn page?
who fixed what wasn’t broke, and why didn’t they use duct tape?
Let’s see, he’s one of the regulars who defended me against evil stalking troll…and you are?
**gives Rando steak and vegies — no peas**
Mmmmmm…steak…I actually had steak and veggies tonight, so that’s…kinda creepy.
*takes out his Finglonger and steals a piece of steak*
*beats the everloving crap out of Max*
NOBODY steals my steak, muthafukka!!!
Oh, good gracious me, did ah start thaht? *saunters off, twirling parasol*
Who am I?
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
I am the eggman.
I am your shield. I am your sword.
I am the walrus. Goo goo g’joob.
I am a rock. I am an island.
I am Legend.
I am an American badass.
I’m Batman.
I’m impressed!
i’m so disappointed, i thought that was darkwing duck’s intro
I am the terror that flaps in the night!
I am the prize in your cereal box!
I am Darkwing Duck!
bitter troll can do that, bitter troll chooses not to
bitter troll overachieves every time he carries me under the bridge.
Or to the Fortress of Doom.
Or, anywhere for that matter.
-bitter flex- bitter troll loves his work and his charro
*swoons*
charro loves her bitter troll.
Awww, I shall kick it, and beat it, and call it deadtwig..
Sorry, nesting fail..
(
I like i where it is.
BTW Eds I totally agree about the lawn!
This is why I don’t overachieve. I like to keep expectations low so everything seems like a win. All overachieving does is destroy your self-esteem the first time you fvck up.
Not only that but it also sets a baseline for future endeavors. If you overachieve on one thing, people will expect the same results each and everytime. I’m with you, it’s better to set the bar low. That way you can just step over any hurdle that comes your way.
And you’ve described the fatal flaw in the logic of both Eli Manning and Tony Romo. Both tried to overachieve, both look like douches when they lose.
They look like douches anyway.
Yeah, but imagine being a double douche!
Is that like a double fist?
Ouch!
Double douche bus?
(Too obscure?)
I don’t get it.
You are so young….
Double Dutch Bus, by Frankie Smith?
Vaguely familiar before and after viewing. Yeah, I’m not a puppy either!
I know I’m a child. *hangs head in shame*
It’s not -my- fault my parents waited unil nineteenmmphfwmph to have me.
That’s a lotta vinegar.
Yeah, I reached my peak in 1969 too, with a first place in the cub scouts’ push cart race and a photo in the local paper. It’s been downhill ever since..
Well get out of the car then! I would have thought that would have occured to you already..
*car=cart*
I can’t, my ass was a lot smaller then.
You should at least change out of your cub scout uniform. The uniforms don’t even look like that anymore.
Shhhh! His mum told him it was a chick magnet!
thoooooonk! *splats up against keithybabes*
Mind my woggle! Oops, I think it broke.
Sorry but it looks like your woggle was already wonky from weeks of wigorous wanking.
No, that would be my c*ck.
Cub scout uniform from 1969 is worth less if wanked upon.
-glances down- and its adorable!
His c*ck or his wanked upon uniform?
And one day she will be proved right.
See? SEE !!!!!
Hmm.. makes me wonder what my old Navy uniform will get!
picture. pleeeeeeeeese
I second this! Pictures PLEASE.
Oh for the love of God, the last thing you want to see me in is my old uniform..
Well then, how about the old you in your old uniform? Pleeeeze!
Let me see what I can dig up.. literally. A lot of my old photos have some how remained with my ex.
OoooKAY. I would like to see the photo, but I would not want to cause you to have contact with that scary so-called person… We all want you to keep your lawn nice for our invasions!
Maybe you could get a new uniform, Eds.
Hee..
I suspect they would be happy with a picture of you out of uniform
Oh, that’s never going to happen!!!
*loves men in uniform*
Pic of John McCain (much younger mind you). Not bad.
{http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/02_01/mccainoldDM0802_468×843.jpg}
*shakes fist in the air*
Curses! Stupid link is too long. Oh well.
Maybe she is correct. This is slightly later and boy scouts, not cub, but it was the best I could do.
Mine was. ‘Course, I made it all the way to Eagle.
But not as much a magnet as my authentic tartan kilt.
(By ‘authentic’ I mean my family is actually Scots, and our clan has its own kilt pattern. Not like these modern posers who will just wear anything kilt-ish.)
My cousin (also a viking) wore a kilt for his Scots friend’s wedding (all of the grooms-men did). And I have to say, a guy with a decent pair of gams can really rock a kilt, even if he doesn’t have the heritage! (I assume the groom dressed his guys in his family plaid…)
bitter troll looks smashing in his kilt
I’m going to have the best fever induced dreams eva now. Men in kilts. *drool*
Sorry you are sick. But enjoy the dreams!
-begins to sing-
we’re men, we’re men in kilts. running around protecting peoples stilts.
We’re men (manly men!) we’re men in kilts,
Toss our caber, and still it will not wilt!
you maaaaay look like sissies, but watch what you say or else we will put a claymore through your chest down to your tiny lil testicals
*giggles* love the musical number!
This doesn’t make fVcking sense! And it’s not funny. And it doesn’t make sense.
I think what they’re saying is that everything NASA has done since the moon landing has paled in comparison, so pretty much everyone thinks NASA sucks now since their finest moment was 40 years ago. But the real question is…is the flag German?
Now it’s making sense! That brings back memories. And of course not only was it BELGIAN but it was PHOTOSHOPPED!!!
by a MURDERERRR!!!!!!!
a SOCIALIST MURDERERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
a SOCIALIST MURDERRRRRRR FROM BELGIEN!!!!!!!!
No. It’s clearly BELGIAN.
But will it fix health care? Is it a socialist Belgian flag?
Obama’s going to put a free-for-all socialist hospital for Belgians on the MOON!
“for Belgians on the MOON”
…for illegal immigrants on the MOON!!
I fixed it for you.
Yeah, with a death panel/star type thing in orbit around it…
…piloted by sparkly vampires.
VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE!! *frothfroth*
Are we talking Nosferatu? Or Toreador? Or Ventrue? Some sparkle.
No, we’re not talking anything. We’re FROTHING.
Vampires froth? wtf?
Only when the stake goes into their heart.
“It was as if millions of Conservative voices all cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced, I feel something terrible has happened…”
*mumbles* doesn’t sound all that terrible to me *snerk*
*giggling maniacally*
*glares at ivan while simultaneously pouting*
i’m not exactly on the left of the aisle round here…
Wait a minute. I like shorty. How ’bout we change it to ‘neocons’?
*applies whiteout to computer screen*
It would appear you and I are further left than we thought. I’m still here as well, so what does that make us?
Come, come over to the dark…I mean left side. You know you want to. We have brownies…we have cookies…you know you want them….
NO! Nevah! My momma told me ’bout dem brownies and sh*t you folks use to lure the honest and forthright with.
I’ll have Eddie’s share!
did your mother warn you about the evil boobies too? there’s plenty of jiggles over here, (and we don’t believe in abstinence only either)
Yes, my mum did warn me about the evil boobies, but I married her anyway. She had a party when we got divorced!
Hey, maybe SB will bring some goodies back from Amsterdam so we can make*better* brownies to entice shorty and eddie over?
You cannot resist the power of the dark side.
to be honest, how do you top going to the moon?
going to mars? not to likely
I thought we were supposed to have a warp drive by now so we can meet the Vulcans.
by now KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!! was suppost to start a war against normal people with us too
….KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!
We were promised flying cars. Where is MY flying car??!!
Doc Brown LIED!!!!! GREAT SCOT!!!
Fvck the flying car, I want my robot maid.
(I actually thought flying cars would be awesome until I gave a little consideration to the ability of drivers in my city to maneuver their vehicles in two dimensions….)
I agree. A robot Jeeves would be freakin tight.
Jeeves, cookies please! “Chocolate Chip, or M&M sir?”
That’s a stupid question Jeeves.
“Sorry sir, both kinds coming right up.”
Carry on Jeeves.
a HAWT robot maid, with robot boobies
You realize of course they would just be fake, right?
robot boobies that squirt robot milk and acid….ya know for kids
Forget robot maid. I’d prefer android maid. Fully functional android maid, if you catch my drift.
Programmed in multiple techniques?
Oh my, this has my interest..
*sidles up to Eds* Hiya. Got that Navy uniform yet?
*quickly digs through the old footlocker*
!*@*&$ buttons!
-perks a brow to charro- ugh?
Forget android maid.
Give me a holodeck I can program, and a food replicator, and I’ll never leave the place.
“Computer, Initiate Privacy Locks, Activate program Harem-5. Initialize programs Liu, Portman, Ricci, Thurman, and… oh, what the heck, Watson. Debauchery level 3, Submissiveless level 1. I want them feisty today. Activate when ready.”
The andriod maid can clean up the mess, after.
Yeah, until the safety protocols get corrupted and you catch virtual STD that can only be removed by a “hard driver wipe”.
Thanks. You’ve just broken my Johny Depp/Brad Pitt holodeck fantasy! *mutters* Shoulda made them wear rubbers. Stupid holograms.
Guess you live in the wrong part of the world.. I have mine.
Socialist flying cars are everywhere in Belgium.
In Soviet Russia, car flies you!
Darn it! Knew we shouldn’t have left!
In Soviet Russia, country leaves you.
*sits in corner and cries bitter tears*
Why does nobody like me? Not even countries!!
Soviet Russia says it’s not you, it’s them, and they want to stay friends.
But please give them back their black t-shirt, da?
Uuuhhmmm…about that tshirt…due to the shoddy Soviet workmanship it kinda fell apart in the wash. Here’s one of an equally shoddy quality from China but it’s new. Horosho? Drooziya?
I think I may have to take your trekkie card away. We don’t get warp drive and Vulcans till 2063.
These days with CGI, faking a mars landing would be really easy.
ZOMG IM ON MARS!!!1!!!111!
GET OFF MAH LAWN
*plants Belgian flag on Bitter’s lawn*
We come in peach, dude.
I mean peace. Whatever. Want a Hot Pocket?
I’m sure I’ve been to Mars before, but I can’t recall totally…
NOW GET OFF MAH BITTER PLANET, or your terminated!
*head explodes*
I think that got on the Hot Pockets. Ew.
Hey, I resigned my post as mop girl. Find someone else to clean this shit up.
*flounces off*
*dances nekked on bitter’s martian lawn*
Pfft. I’ll have this place blown up and be home in time for corn flakes.
*crashes into Mars, gets fired*
*texts Captain Wow*
ZOMG I’M ON A ROCKETSHIP!
-smiles and offers charro a flower-
*blushes and accepts bitter flower*
*texts back*
ZOMG I MISSED MARZ CRASHED INTO VENUS!
*loses job*
Well, think Michael Jackson and everything he did after “Thriller”.
Everything?!?!
He’s “Bad”? I just giggled every time I heard that! Weird Al didn’t help.
You know I’m HUUUUGE! I’m fat, you know it!
Ding Dong, yo, Ding Dong!
Adam Sandler after Happy Gilmore? (Big daddy== cute, but not funny)
Big Daddy was funny, just not nearly as funny as Happy Gilmore/Billy Madison. NUDIE MAGAZINE DAY!!!
That is what I meant. Funny, but not nearly as funny as Happy Gilmore/Billy Madison. More cute than funny. That seems to be what most of his more recent stuff worthy of watching has been a little funny, but mainly cute.
Sandler had kids, and that ALWAYS ruins a good, edgy comic. They don’t want their kids to see them do “blue”. Look at Eddie Murphy.
And almost no one has the talent to turn having kids into a laugh after being “blue”. I can think of Tim Allen and Bill Cosby right off hand who were able to do that, but it usually goes the way of Sandler and Murphy.
Ok, I amend my statement to ALMOST ALWAYS.
Everything you do will be compared to it… and years later, a bunch of idiots STILL won’t believe you did it in the first place.
Well I for one think the bombing of the moon’s pole was pretty cool–they found water! But then I am a geek, so…
Yeppers! Time for ice mining, and soon, Armstrong Base!
and beer! exotic brewskis made with exotic water!
I guess you have to bomb something, the moon is your safest bet!!
I gather the actual bombing wasn’t a huge thrill. But the results are!
….
Although ‘bomb, bomb the moon’ doesn’t have as catchy a ring to it…
…..yeah, bomb the thing that can call out of space and smash into earth.
At least we don’t have the care trolls up in arms over it.. But yes, water on the moon is cool as anything. And we may even have a colony there sometime within this century!
DID WE LEARN NOTHING FROM HERCULESE VS THE MOON MEN?????
We got the MST3K songs about pants! Pants…pants…sing the praises of pants!
Heh. You said “pole”.
“It’s not rocket science!”