Vladurday: Roses are red
Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia, poem write you.
(Vladimir Putin)
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: Violinstef via Our LOL Builder
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Roses are red, clowns are funny. Women eat all the candy, and spend all your money.
Ba da bum. Tish.
Roses are red, government is cursed.
If I wasn’t late, I would be FIRST!
Don’t worry about lateness,
for it isn’t a curse.
You saved us the trouble
of an ordinal post.
wait…………… curse=/=post
oh well
Roses are red; sexist jokes aren’t funny.
Real women don’t need yours, they make their own money.
WIN!
My wife is a real woman, and I am the bread winner in our home. She is more of a woman to me for the dedication to our children and home.
ULTRA WIN!
WIN^INFINITY!
Marriage and child-rearing require real teamwork. However the work is shared doesn’t matter, so long as it is fairly shared and the kids are well-raised. My neighbors chose to have the husband stay home, because the wife is a pediatrician. It works for them!
Yes. Teamwork is definitely required. One of the reasons I think God made sex fun. It’s the paybacks for all the crap parents deal with raising children.
For reals, when I’m done putting my kids in a sleeper hold, I need to tag in my wife to take over…. That is… when I get married, and have chi’drens.
*bats eyelashes at Max*
How good is your sleeper hold Janie Babeh?
It’s pretty nice. It gets the job done, anyways.
Nope, it’s evolution.
Roses are red, Putin is scary. In PK fights, I’ll bet on the fairy!
(even if we disagree a lot…)
i didn’t think we disagreed that much?? or have you been two-timing with another fairy?
Cheating is not fun,
and in fact can be scary.
You’ll see why she’s bad,
if you’re with another fairy.
Ooops, caught!
Froufroo is a fairy also, by avatar! I guess she’s the bad fairy and you’re the good fairy (for a serious lefty-liberal)…and I’m sometimes drawn to the dark side…!
Besides, it was a good rhyme!
must have missed froo’s avatar, i thought she was a tea pot? or was that someone else?
and for me being good (even for a lefty), well all i can say to that is you must have missed where i explained to wants aw with a dull butcher knife the benefits of a small very, very sharp fillet knife
ps. froo’s the good fairy (especially for being a non-liberal
)
Jane is the teapot. Froo is the Faerie Princess. You’re the Bad Fairie.
Woops, missed that one.
*hits self in head*
And that’s an obvious one, too! D’oh!
thank you for clearing that up for me, i get so confused ever since i rematerialized after that wicked child threw that bucket of water on me
Thought that was a witch? Perhaps I am confusing the tales….
It makes me feel happy to know that my teapot made an impression. ^_^
I’ve never really understood the teapot. Why a teapot? Just curious.
Because I love tea? And it’s pretty much the only thing I drink. Also, Eds theorized that my teapot contained arsenic which suits me as well.
Oh, okay, I get it now.
(Note to self: Do NOT have tea with Jane.)
See below tea party. You should have tea with me and Jane. Or Jane and I.
It’d be “Jane and me” I think. I’m pretty sure you always put the other person in front of yourself. I know that to decide whether you should use “me” or “I” you simply take the other person out and use what you would if you were just talking about yourself. For example, you wouldn’t say “you should have tea with I” you would say “you should have tea with me” therefor you keep the “me” when adding a name.
… I just nerded out, didn’t I?
Yeah. But I finally learned how to deal with that weird bit of grammar in the process!
The teapot makes me assume your sitting in some pretty English garden having afternoon tea. I suspect you’re also wearing some fancy victorian dress and have perfect manners.
She is, she is, and she does. You should drop by sometime.
Would anyone care for a cucumber sandwich?
Ooooh, with some real Hidden Valley Ranch. Yes.
I’d like one Janie.
*passes them around* Scone?
And when it’s all over, say the phrase: “My what a lovely teaparty!”
I would love a blueberry scone, Janie darling.
By the by, that is a lovely corset.
MAX! jay and silent bob winnage!
-snuggles charro- looks nice in corset!
*snuggles bitter as best as she can strapped into corset with steel ribs*
Wimmenz in corsets… best F*cking tea party EVER!
dang, charro looks GOOD in that
*passes BT a bottle of his scotch*
We should really do this double date tea party thing more often… Jane and Charro really do have the best…. ahem.. scenery.
yes sounds like a lovely tea party..then some jello wrestleing
*takes another sip of his scotch*
BT, you’re a genius, pure genius.
sips scotch and smiles- mmmm bitter troll knows, bitter troll all smert
Hmmm does the fact that I’m drinking from a scotch glass with a raised pinky make me teh ghey?
newp, makes you a brilliant tea bagger
I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not…
*tries to laugh*
*is trapped by corset*
You two are too kind.
It just means I have plans for that pinky later, darling.
I’m getting all hot thinking about the things one could do with the right pinkie!
*fans self*
I’m way late here, Max, but that Jay & Silent Bob quote made me LMAO. Srsly.
I think the teapot goes perfectly with the name
Indeed–very Jane Austen-ish! Crumpets, anyone?
As I’m in London right now, yes, ta
I’m in France, I see S_t_B’s underpants…
*holds up SB’s panties* You mean these? *giggles*
Well, she did leave them in the laundromat.
I’d like to think charro got those another way. Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Lucky duck!
Quack!
While you’re there BT, could you please ask them Imperials what the hell they were thinking when they came up with beans on toast?!
Bah… SB, not BT…
I actually like beans on toast! I am now in Amsterdam, doing…what people do here
I feel so loved
Roses are red,
Violets are bluish,
If it wasn’t for Jesus,
We’d all be Jewish.
Except, Jesus WAS Jewish……..
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Some poems rhyme
This one doesn’t.
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
This line Doesnt Rhytme
But This one Do
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue
Most poems Rhyme
But this one don’t.
It doesn’t scan either.
Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don’t make sense.
Refridgerator.
-refrigerator-
*facepalm*
*spikes coffee w/ rum*
It’s going to be a long day.
Roses are red
Zombies aren’t living
BBRRRAAAIIINNNSSSSS are the gift
That keeps right on giving
Roses are red,
Dead mice are too,
in a boquet,
that one looked cute!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I’m not a good poet.
‘Cos I can’t rhyme.
Oh, you can’t rhyme,
I feel bad for you.
If you really want,
I can suck also.
Now we know who has been writing all the protest signs! Ok, sorry for that Captain Wow.
*snerk*
*feels like the child left behind*
Okay, that was a good one.
This was my FB status. I don’t feel very edgy anymore.
I hate the limits
Of the bloody haiku form
I refuse to play
….DAMMIT!!
This form is not fun.
It’s mastery takes much time.
Get on that right now.
I love a haiku
harder than a limerick
but satisfying
Hehe you said hard.
Oh crap! I’m falling in line!
I didn’t mean to.
Massive win Max.
Or I should say
Massive for the win
Max has got the gift of prose
Presidictator.
Butt soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east… and Juliet is mooning me.
That ass is so nice
I can’t stop looking at it
Nice balcony too!
Roses are red,
your mom is tight.
She screamed “OH FRED”,
When I banged her last night.
Roses are red,
Fred is a weirdo.
Stays all night long
banging his dildo.
Hooking up is scary
unless you have dated
and freaky MILF’s
are highly overrated.
My mother, you know,
is well over 80..
So I have to ask Fred…
Why do you bang really old ladies?
I think this is my favorite Vladurday yet. I actually chuckled. Can’t begin to tell you how long its been. Bravo!
He’s home all alone,
and the lol’s are always corny.
Vladurday makes it better,
but I bet he’s still horny.
*snort*
You think you got rhymes?
That you are the man?
You are the one
With the dick in your hand.
Your thoughts are just simple
Your claims are pretentious
I exist here for Victory
And preventing your Vengeance
This post was for @ay dios
I was gonna say, the wife has a big smile on her face.
ROFL
I was a poet
that didn’t know it
until I look down
and saw I was a Longfellow.
poem writes. Third person ffs
This.
“Who sent me this $#!%????”
IK, he does look a bit perplexed, as though he’s never seen one before. Or perhaps he actually is a living heart donor…
“Vat iss dis…..Po-em? Vat iss purpose?
Akshully its because he has to hold the writing further and further away just to read it. Has anybody seen him in reading glasses?
If they did, he’d have to kill them…
“Perhaps I give someone death by papercuts with this, da?”
“I’ve heard this ‘love’ hurts. Can we make it fatal?”
They paint these walls every now and then, but the poop house poet strikes again…..(On a bathroom stall)
roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you……….
but the roses are pelting
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl’s empty
and so is your head.
Laughin out loud is
the unacroimzed form
of this: LOL
Roses are red, violets are blue. I was thinking of poetry, and stepped in dog doo.
*+10 interwebs*
Interwebs are nice,
but some things are better.
If viking gal will let me,
I’ll show her this Thor’s hammer.
Commies are red,
Cold hands turn blue,
Bread lines are forming,
Not enough for you!
Awesomeness! I <3 this one
I’ll admit..I found this cute
You think that’s cute? He probably ripped that heart right out of some little girl’s teddy bear. The brute!
Teddy bears are cute.
Vlad is cute too.
Now love that sweet poem,
or he’ll drain your hear too.
Bringing down Build-a-Bear one cheap heart at a time. Keep fighting the good fight Vlad!!!
This. Is. AWESOME! I really did laugh! It’s a miracle!
That lol is funny,
but this isn’t SPARTA!
Don’t abuse caps lock.
You should just turn it off-a.
Hate the damn caps lock
Always hit it by mistake
AHH haiku…can’t stop!
Roses are blue
Violets are green
There is something wrong, with my televisionscreen!
You need a new tv.
Wal-mart has plenty.
You shouldn’t have posted.
Hind-sight’s 20-20.
My roses are brown.
My violets ain’t blue.
So just what is a color blind person to do?
Roses are blue
Violets are green
You Suck!
You can give her flowers,
and vacation cabanas
but no girl will want to suck
your tiny banana.
Having fun rhyming out everyone hu ?
Roses are red
Shoulda stayed in bed
Ay Dios Mio
Is my new hero
I’ve always wanted the love of a mermaid.
*bestows love upon ADM*
-jealous growl-
Totally platonic love, bitter baby.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
ADM’s lucky
and bitter troll too.
Roses are red
Poinsettias are too
Rando you’re married
So no luck for you.
Poor Rando…hey, wait…isn’t Charro married?
SEXIST!
Ok, ok.
Roses are red
Poinsettias are too
Rando you’re married
Bring the wife with you.
This is a 3/2 ratio of guys. So guess what?
Ladies?
Push it? Real good?
*starts groovin*
ahhhhh pushit
Ooo baby BAE-by!
My uncle Mike stepped out in a traffic jam when this song came on the radio in the late 90’s and danced his @ss off. Everytime I hear it I think about him moonwalking in between cars on the dotted lines of Interstate 75. Epic.
Full of win!!
Saaaaaay, now it’s a party!
Roses are red
Toeses are too,
moses supposes,
erroneously.
Oh, and don’t comment crap on this! Erroneously means stupidly!
Strictly speaking, it means “mistakenly”.
Roses are red
violets are blue
And I like Pu
tin
Roses aren’t all red,
That’s overgeneralization.
All people end up dead
No matter what their nation.
Are violets really blue?
For they purple look to me.
I wonder if the hue
Depends on how you see.
Now sugar may be sweet
But HFCS is sweeter
I hear it’s bad to eat
But keeps your cheap food cheaper.
Vladurday poetry made me smile
Now I’m going to do something else for a while!
Pu-tiful! Simply Pu-tiful. All of you.
*wonders why she is hearing Lawrence Welk in her head*
RUN, zombie lawrence welk and zombie band are right behind you, and they’re getting ready to turn on the zombie bubble machine
NoNoNoNo not the bubbles!!! Eeeee! (brain is starting to melt)
A favorite Welk song, Calcutta:
{http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fcjc9TCEjw&NR=1}
Snow Clone!
Snow Crash!
Tomatoes are red
No food should be blue
Ask too many questions
NO SOUP FOR YOU!!
What about blueberries?
And blue.. uh.. YEAH!
Those are more like purple, aren’t they?
Purple when crushed or cooked, blue on the bush…
*wonders why that came out sounding kinky*
I’m turned on.. So yeah.
And huckleberries! *nom nom*
I’m your huckleberry.
Tombstone ftw
Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday?
why him not win oscar?
It was pretty freaking sweet.
But the Snozzberries taste like Snozzberries.
*licks the plastic partition in the back of a cop car*
Will award many internets to whoever understands this.
Isn’t that Super Troopers?
CANDY BARS!!!!
*awards Rando 100+ internets*
Littering and…. littering and….. littering and…. SMOKIN THE REEFER!
in soviet russia, caption makes YOU!!!
Roses are red,
and so is blood.
I like to laugh,
and these unleashed a flood.
You guyzes rhymes that is.
putins to kill list heart shaped
moderators have no sense of humor
THESE CANDIES ARE CHALKY AND UNPLEASANT!
Why all the references to Soviet Russia in relation to Putin?
Bit out of date in knowledge of current politics.
Kinda fits with the notion of Czarist commies.
Because of the fun ‘in Soviet Russia’ meme. And because 4 out of 5 man-loving PKers think he is hot. I’m number 5, but I’m ok with that!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
All girls love Putin
What happened to you?
Um…guess I’m number 6.
That made me littleraly lol.
One of the best things i have seen on this site….maybe i just like it when jokes ryhme…
Oh this Vlaturday I did miss
I wonder what lips I did not kiss
And it was my birthday I admit
Though I doubt that any should give a sh!t
Add another poem to the pile
Perhaps I’ll even stay a while
Yonder I see Haiku
With cagey wit to see us through
And though I claimed to retire
To not return would make a liar
Here I am once again
To see what kind of mess we’re in
Hippo birdie to ewe, hippo birdie to ewe.
Hippo birdie dear Wyrmie!
Hippo birdie to ewe!
And many hippo re-terns!
*give nice squishy birthday hug*