Vladurday: By the look on his face
By the look on his face, someone will soon be dead.
(Vladimir Putin and Dmitry Medvedev)
Picture by: N Kolesnikova Caption by: Grimmiekins via Advanced Lol Builder
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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST!
1. asshat
One who has their head up their ass. Thus wearing their ass as a hat.
2. asshat
A person, of either gender, whose behavior displays such ignorance/obnoxiousness that you would like to make them wear their own ass as a hat.
Usage: “Can you believe that my boss is making me stay until 9 pm on a Friday!?” “What an asshat.”
3. asshat
a unit vector in the ass direction
(similar to i hat, a unit vector in the i (or x) direction, j hat, k hat, etc.)
“Andrew is such an asshat.”
“Totally. His unit vector is definitely pointed in the ass direction.”
4. asshat
describing when one’s head is so far up one’s ass that one is wearing the ass as a hat. in other words, extreme stupidity.
A: Look at all those hurricane victims on their roofs, waving at the helicopters, begging for emergency food to be dropped down! Why don’t they just leave?
B: You asshat.
5. asshat
A close cousin of the Ass-clown, typically identified by a jovial expression and an outward misunderstanding of how he/she is perceived, combined with a generally misguided conception of what is sociably acceptable amongst his/her fellow peers.
Said persons’ frequent attempts at humor usually lead to he/she making an ass out of his/herself. Not to be confused with ass-hole.
“Quit throwing pennies at that homeless man, you asshat.”
“Hey asshat, thanks for double parking.”
You win the entire internets for the rest of your life. All hail Pitty!
This is awesome. I think you just redefined space to include a fourth spacial dimension. Now you can move up-down, forward-back, left-right, and ass. Amazing.
*packs up the first monthly installment of Pitty’s lifetime supply*
Minor subset of asshattery: Masshole. A resident of the state of Massachusetts, who is an asshat of a driver.
What does a necktie say to an asshat?
You go on ahead, I’ll hang around and see what’s noose.
I almost forgot to add to your asshatberdashery:
A resident of the state of Ohio?
OH Shaddup!!
The thunderous return of pitty!! Missed you kiddo.
Your post really rectum!
I can always colon you for a laugh!
Ah…I got piles of ‘em!
He would totally pooh-pooh all that! He hates to be the butt of the joke.
Oh, I don’t know, his sense of humor goes down as one of the greatest in the anals of history.
From your polyps to God’s rear …
more annoyance is generated from the people who respond, as you did, to people who post ‘first’ when they do have the first post
you sir, are an asshat and also a hypocrite
Oh good, a hit and run troll. Luckily we’re already rid of him! (judging by his name).
Oh! I get it now! He was going with the pun-run by being a hemorrhoid! *smacks forehead*
Well all I know fissure is this lovely specimen is a solid waste of our time.
And an utter Sheisskopf! Sewaged we do about it? Give him the treatment or just let him run on?
One would hope he would diarrhea painful death.
Break, wind, break….
And crack, cheeks, crack………
Buttocks icologists say it takes intestinal fartitude to be such an asshat.
Vaginal douches may consist of water, water mixed with vinegar, or even antiseptic chemicals. Douching has been touted as having a number of supposed but unproven benefits. In addition to promising to clean the vagina of unwanted odors, it can also be used by women who wish to avoid smearing a sexual partner’s penis with menstrual blood while having intercourse during menstruation. In the past, douching was also used after intercourse as a method of birth control, though it is not effective (see below).
Many health care professionals state that douching is dangerous, as it interferes with both the vagina’s normal self-cleaning and with the natural bacterial culture of the vagina, and it might spread or introduce infections. For example, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services strongly discourages douching, warning that it can lead to irritation, bacterial vaginosis, and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Frequent douching with water may result in an imbalance of the pH of the vagina, and thus may put women at risk for possible vaginal infections, especially yeast infections
I think we just found out who’s gonna be dead soon.
My bet is on the guy just behind Putin who looks a wee bit terrified that Vladimir felt him grab his ass.
That is some consternation the guy is wearing! Like he narrowly avoided pissing his pants.
What would you bet there is a yellow stain in the front of the tighty whities?
Things took a turn for the worse at the Russian diagonal stripey tie convention when Medvedev forgot the dress code …
Douching after intercourse is estimated to reduce the chances of conception by only 15-25%. In comparison, proper condom use reduces the chance of conception by as much as 97%. In some cases douching may force the ejaculate further into the vagina, increasing the chance of pregnancy. A review of studies by researchers at the University of Rochester Medical Center (N.Y.) showed that women who douched regularly and later became pregnant had higher rates of ectopic pregnancy, infections, and low birth weight infants than women who only douched occasionally or who never douched
The practice of douching is now largely restricted to the United States, where douching equipment is often available in pharmacies. A 1995 survey quoted in the University of Rochester study found that 27 percent of U.S. women age 15 to 44 douched regularly, but that douching was more common among African-American women (over 50%) than among white women (21%).
I don’t think he looks angry here, just sort of shocked. Might just be me though.
Putin doesn’t get shocked. It is impossible to surprise him, you only ever succeed in making him think of new ways to kill you.
He’s much like Chuck Norris in that way.
Putin outlawed the periodic table in Russia, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
and his tears cure cancer… too bad he never cries.
No, Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Putin’s CAUSE it.
Putins tears cure chuck norris
Have you been drinking today??? If not, you need to!
Putin is pouting… Almost like a little spoiled child. Ô_ó
In Soviet Russia, Putin spoils you.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that. He did look a little pouty to me. Someone give Putin his teddy back or there will be hell to pay!
Did he get that way because someone took his teddy? Or was he spoiled too much as a rugrat? Inquiring minds would like to know!
Nah…..somebody stole his cookie!!!
I agree it doesn’t quite seem angry, but to me it looks almost like he’s pouting.
He’s pouting because the fricken sharks don’t have fricken laser beams attached to their fricken heads. Instead he got ill tempered sea bass.
Well you’re probably feeling what Vigo’s feeling… ”Carpathian Kitten Loss” He misses his kitty! Well we’ll just place one in here right by the castle
Ghostbusters.. Again.. FTW!!
The guy on his right IS looking extremely concerned…like he KNOWS what that look means, and it’s NOT good. LOL
That guy also looks like he is using his left hand to protect his family jewels, in case there is an ‘aura’ effect from Putin’s glare.
I Think putin is pouting. And we all know there is nothing sadder than a sad russian
When Putin cries, Russians die.
Ahhhh,so this is where Vlad the Impaler went.
I wish people feared/respected our leader like they do Putin:P
Really? Ummmmmmm…
Come come, let’s not wreck a perfectly good Vladerday LOL with partisanship. Here, have a cookie!
*passes Ivan a brautwurst* Mustard?
That better be spicy brown mustard, otherwise you have insulted the Brat, my friend!
Oh yes. Spicy mustard, and it needs to be on a real brochen. (Sp?) Which is a German hard roll.
And real German kraut. *drools*
*looks to make sure kraut is German and not Belgian*
Ok, were set!
Go with a Johnson Brat and you’re all set.
HAH! That would be like buying a Cadiluck, or a Chevroley, or Fjord.
brotchen. the o has an umlaut though.
Brötchen is it?
Yeah, I got both when I looked it up. I think that’s a given for the English translation. Good food. Yes. Yummmy. *drools*
No, then he would be smiling.
In related news at that same conference a case of spontaneous combustion seems to have occurred. When questioned by reporters those who attended would only say one word. “Putin”
Scanner Vlad!
he know where your family is
I apologize ahead of time for what I am about to say, but… Is that photoshopped? I mean, it looks so weird! His head doesn’t look like it belongs on his body, the angle is just too extreme. And there’s something around his neck, at the collar, looks like a scar.
Please see pittypat’s reply to McFirst, above.
Actually, your head probably does swivel around like that… and often.
*snerk*
I think he bears a striking resemblance to Dramatic Prairie Dog *link*
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA *holds sides in pain* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Now JC my love before you lose bladder control or anything you know I was talking about Vlad not Ivan, right?
*dribbles trail to bathroom* Uh, a little late for that. And yes, I knew it was Vlad.
*sings “Why can’t we be friends”*
Good. Have a cookie. And a wetwipe.
Wet wipes? Ooooh, I didn’t know you were THAT kinky.
de Sade truth is I’m afraid of anything that leaves Marquis.
Ah …this is good. We must have DISCIPLINE!!!
And now you must pay for the honey mustard pretzel and Dr. Pepper mess on my computar screen from Mr. Prarie Dog. Where do you FIND this stuff??
Just whipped it out of my repertiore …
But I don’t know how the MJ version got there – see link for the original drama prairie dog. Much better.
I admire your restraint! Nice leather we’ve been having lately.
Hark
safewordwindward, my captain!A dominant system is blowing in!
I think we’re about to tie one on, my little tempest.
bottom not sure I’m willing top pay the dues …
Not Photoshopped as far as I know. I saw this pic on a news site talking about Putin and Medvedev attending a “United Russia” party meeting last year. Putin is the official head of the party so he is always at those meetings.
Well, it’s not that I’m saying he isn’t at the meeting, it’s just that his head looks weird… I’m not sure peoples heads work that way.
Ah, well, this IS Putin we are talking about, right?
He makes his own rules.
It’s really quite simple, you slouch, raise your shoulders and turn your head.
Dare I say it, but I think Putin might actually be…. goofing off….
*looks behind him for Putin Assassins*
Whew, thank god, no one ther-
*gets stabbed in the face from the front by Putin*
I’ve seen mothers do that fast-swivel-and-glare thing. It is impressive in person!
Yes, I have too! Maybe that’s what he’s doing there… It still looks weird to me!! I guess I’m the only one.
It is weird. But semi-normal weird…if that makes any sense?
Are you saying Putin as a mother? So thats what they mean when they say mother Russia!
IS IS! Not as! stupid inability to proof read.
Way to go grimmiekins!!
Happy Vladurday everyone.
Congratulations again bitter love!
A little bitter Monica in his life
A little bitter Erica by his side
A little bitter Rita is all he needs
A little bitter Tina is what he sees
A little bitter Sandra in the sun
A little bitter Mary all night long
A little bitter Jessica is his fan
A little bitter Charro says he’s her man …
I do say so.
Where is he anyway dangit?
i dont work saterdays
so i show up when im done running around, oh and WHOOOHOO VALDERDAY IS MINE!
along with all the wimmins, looks like.
You can join the elite group of captioners/regulars that have scored Vladurday along with diss & me (and who else? I’m forgetting someone.)
WOOT!!! May your reign of awesome never end!
-throws charro over his shoulder and grins- not the funniest one, but bitter troll take the vladerday score
It’s okay. Grimmiekins is one of the most consistently funny captioners here.
Agreed!
*is carried away for bitter lovin*
Stop touching meeeeee….Maaaaaaah! He’s touching me again!