Vladurday: Coming this fall
Coming this fall: CSI: Moscow
(Vladimir Putin)
Picture by: dunno source Caption by: D-USA via Our LOL Builder
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YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again
No, no!
“Whose funeral are we attending here, Vlad?”
“I haven’t… *puts sunglasses on* …decided yet.”
Works perfectly
So true
Look up on youtube the Jim Carrey impression of Horatio. Sheer Perfection.
No one knows what it’s like to be a bad man, to be a sad man, behind blue eyes…
Certainly fits better than Pinball Wizard.
He’s a pinhead wizard,
He’s not to be dismissed.
A pinhead wizard’s got such a big clenched fist.
I guess the cold war… just got colder.
YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
One fish two fish.
*dons sunglasses*
Red fish, blue fish.
xD
Even whispers aren’t heard in the garden,
Everything has died down till morning.
If you only knew how dear to me
Are these Moscow nights.
Pro: Excellent pose!
Con: The color is all wrong. This needs to be saturated in orange so it’s more Veleeta cheese colored.
I swear, I need to take Lactaid to watch CSI:Miami and not just because of the color. CSI:NY is not much better vis. dialogue. There are times I can actually see Gary Sinise thinking, “It’s a steady paycheck, it’s a steady paycheck” as he utter some inanity.
CSI is best because Morpheus is on now!!
I agree with you on all counts. (We call CSI Miami “CSI Brown” or “CSI Orange”, and CSI NY “CSI Blue” at home. And avoid watching them. ;p )
The director constantly “shooting through” things annoys the hell out of me on CSI: Miami. I refuse to watch CSI: New York, even with Gary Sinise, and I haven’t watched CSI since William Peterson left. I can’t bring myself to like anyone who takes Grissom’s place
Morpheus didnt exactly take Gil’s place. Nick Stokes is coming on to his own, and that’s worth the watch.
There’s a few things that bug me about CSI: Miami:
1) David Caruso is a tool and should retake acting classes. His posing is also one of the weirdest things on TV to watch. I’ve also noticed that some of the other people on the show are starting to pose like him as well.
2) Emily Proctor – Calleigh Duquesne can’t act to save her life. I can’t quite figure out why she’s there as she brings nothing to the show.
3) David Caruso is a tool
4) Did I mention David Caruso is a tool?
As for CSI: New York, that’s a bag full of meh..
I thought you said “big bag of meth” and got excited for a minute there.
If I ever come across that bag, I promise YOU will be the first to know..
Now I’m excited again! Woo!
WOOO…wait what? but drugs are bad! nancy reagan said so!
Nancy Reagan is a liar.
-la gasp-
reganomics didnt work?
David Caruso makes tools ashamed to be tools. They denounce him.
And Emily Proctor’s affected Southern accent grates on me, along with her smarmy Better Than Thou that seems to be evenly spread amongst the other members of the cast. Grissom never acted like he was better than anyone else, which is one of the many things that gives him a Shatner-esque level of awesome.
in a fight to the death with giant q-tips
shatner vs grissom?
Neither. Their awesome would combine and create the most Awesome of all Awesomeness, and then seek out and destroy all those less awesome, including David Caruso and Angel’s son Connor.
Agreed. Connor needs to die. Either that or someone needs to make a time machine to go back and ensure that he was never written to begin with.
I feel the writers were ashamed of themselves by the end of that season, and that’s why they pretended that the entire story was wiped out for everyone except Angel. I just wish they could have done the same for all of us unlucky enough to watch…
Emily Proctor.. I saw her on one episode and I swear she had just had a botox treatment. She had major trout pout and could hardly say her lines. And is it me, or does she come off as being two tacos shy of a combo plate with the way she talks?
As for David Caruso, he’s an actor so everyone else will have someone to make fun of.
I never watched NYPD Blue. Was he this annoying in that show too?
yeah but Caruso has nothing on Putin when they do the scenes in the interrogation room.
putin : ve know you commited dis crime…confess!
suspect: never!
putin: bring…ze hounds…
suspect: yup i did it
It’d be more like this.
Cop: ve know you committed dis crime… confess!
Suspect: NEVER!
Cop: Bring in Putin! *Putin walks in*
Suspect: I did it.
“Looking good”! The job of the Russian president.
He’s not president anymore. Just so you know.
That’s what he wants you to think
I know. Soon he will take over da wurld. Just like Brain and Pinky did.
Narf!
“Looking good”! The job of the Russian prime minister. Uhm, on the other hand, Putin looks any way he wants, in whatever job he wants.
But there’s no mystery who kills everyone in Russia!
*claps. nicely done* Exactly. CSI: Moscow would be about planting false evidence instead of finding the truth. The truth = whatever Putin wants it to be. Murderer = whoever Putin wants to send to jail that week.
In Soviet Russia, crime solves you!
This is the first time I’ve laughed at a Yakov joke in a long time.
Agreed, +1 interwebs for Tom.
+2
+3. And a bottle of Vodak.
What the fukc is vodak?
It’s where you get your picture taken while drunk off your ass on vodka. It’s a Vodak Moment.
^_^
Brilliant save.
Good one, Tom !
Vlad is great for this, except the fact that he would be behind some of the murderers…
CSI meets Dexter meets Vladimir Putin… oh dear.
My head would explode from the awesomeness of that show.
You sir (or madam), are a GENIUS.
Madam. And thanks!
Kinda like Dexter?
Little slow on the uptake are we?
“Let’s see – the victim was a journalist who criticised Putin, he was found stabbed to death with a knife marked “V.P.”, Putin’s fingerprints are all over it, and we have security camera footage of Putin plunging the knife in.”
“Another unsolved case?”
“Yeah – forensics has come up blank.”
“Actually everyone in forensics was found dead, so um, we’re just letting it go.”
“There was one journalist looking into it, but no one knows what happened to him…”
unlike capitalist american csi dogs
i fix problems all by self
W00t! This one is actually funny! Make more funny ones like this people!
We does love some Vladurday.
Took the words right out of my beak.
u guilty DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
until proven other guilty >:)
Yep CSI Russia is next
I swear the donkey fits so well: just another jackass trying to write but can’t hide the fact they flunked out of 8th grade.
Say what?
Must be another Vodak moment, eh?
I have several Vodak moments of my wife from about 10 years ago. That was a great party. Yes, I’m serious, and no, it’s nothing dirty. LOL
Once again Val’s dreams of internet fame have crashed and burned, leading him to lash out in incoherent bitterness. Oh Interwebz, what hast thou wrought?
I feel his pain.
I figure if a bunch of guys from Texas can make an entire career by dubbing their voices over Halo’s multiplayer (Red Vs. Blue), then pretty much anything on the web is possible.
but they very good at it!
That is true. Most of my favorite insults have come from Red Vs. Blue.
I’m confused as well…
He’s got baby hands
Which baby did he steal them from?
LOL!!! WIN!!
*does her foul shot dance*
What? Hoop players don’t to touchdowns!
VG FTW that was great!
Whichever baby he wants.
no no him commie, baby didnt own hands
goverment owned hands and let baby have them.
goverment (putin) decided to take them back and use them
This is a guy who took Jonathan Swift a bit too seriously.
WHAT?? It’s not real??? Or recommended?? Not even allowed??!!
*hastily puts BBQ sauce-covered baby back in crib*
Making a Moscow edition of CSI? They should wait a little while;
they shouldn’t go…
[puts glasses on]
RUSSIAN into things
*facepalm*
*groan*
*headdesk*
That? Excellent!
Pfft. Are you…*evil megalomaniacal smile* Putin me on?
in soviat russia, crime solves YOU
*double-groan*
bitter troll wants to hear putin say
Nuclear Vessles
Dude, that’s a rad idea.
did you just say rad?
-la gasp!-
bitter troll has traveled back into time like in star trek movie….lets go kill some whales!
Tonight you’re such a funny geiger you always like this?
bitter troll is always like a bitter troll
And that’s just why I’ve got my ionize on you.
let bitter troll make this nu’clear , bitter troll not good at puns
Uranium bull enough fellow; you’ll do fine.
the desire to pun better (mr) burns inside bitter troll
Well nothing says Homer-erotica better than Mr. Burns.
so says you smithers
Gamma long with me….I will teach you how to live your half life.
They’re across the bay…in Alameda.
Yes, please groan. Putin loves to hear your pain. Mwahahahahaaaa!!!
I’d watch it.
Oh me too!
Putin pondered the thoughts of another day, another him. Who was he kidding, this was always him. Nothing will ever change, the frozen land freezing everybody into a molded form, himself included.
Some nameless drone brought him the papers and schedules and all that boring bits of prose and reports telling him things that seemed so inconsequential, so inhuman. He gazed through them with the bored feeling of a tiger caged too long and reached a conclusion.
He needed to get out, do something, anything. An assistant brought him a report of some small rebellion in some inane @ss pimple of a village and a smile formed over his face. Gone were the days of the cold war he thought as he put on his shades, ready to face the day again.
Speaking nobody in particular, “But war is always cold in Russia.”
*rests hand on chin and leans forward*
Go on..
The driver was silent as they drove to the building he had spent his youth in. Inside were secrets, horrors, and the ambition of man and country, which always brought a smile to his face. Past the screams, plotting, and down the stairs to the right was his destination, where the report had led him. The room was simple, adorned with but a few lockers and a table. The case on the table met with his satisfaction and Putin exited as he had entered, the whisper of a ghost.
He changed in the car as it fulfilled its role in the chain of transportation, then a train discretely traveled, and finally a helicopter. No words ever passed his lips. Nothing for the cold air to hang on as he moved ever forward, his eyes so much like a shark’s on the prowl, empty.
The moon was hanging in the sky, a pale pearl to observe the night’s deeds both benign and dutiful. He strode as a wraith through the night, ever coming closer to his first kill. A whisper from his pistol pierced the throat of a guard and empty eyes took comfort in his efficiency.
Snowflakes crushed like silent screams beneath his boots before another whisper made sure his escape route was secure, crimson warmth staining the ground while wide eyes would never see again. There were more whispers, more red made cold upon the ground, as the empty eyes saw fit in his mission. Each whisper another part of his success. Nobody to watch the rooftops now. Nobody patrolling the grounds. Nobody to see the brazenly simple finality. Just cooling pools of red staining the virgin snow.
The case’s contents were assembled efficiently to shame the best Swiss watches and when the shot rang out, nobody heard it. Not the target, his head a macabre mural now. Not the guards with vacant eyes and equally vacant veins. Nobody but the man with empty eyes, the shark in the cold night.
The pimple had been popped. Another cold night in another cold almost war. His superiors would receive word of his success and his bank account would be able to supply more vodka to warm the night.
That work?
Guess not.
Damn, I wonder where Charro is?
Awww, still no Charro? I has a sad.
Sorry, worked 12 hours then had to go to Wally World..
Thanks DWN, I loved it, and I love you.
Woot! I love you too. *huggle squeeze*
Sadly, I was having to resist the urge to attention whore this story all day to make sure it would be visible to you. @_@
*hugglessqueezehuggles*
I feel so loved. That’s very sweet.
*bites and cuddles* I’m glad otherwise the Dragon God equivalent of MOMMY MOMMY LOOKIT would have been wasted. XD
Hmmmm.. You’re not by chance.. Lord Dagon.. Are you?
*bites back* Oooh.. I’m a naughty girl. *evil grin*
*bites again* No, I’m an appropriately naughty Dragon God. Not Dagon.
For me yes it did. Good writing DWN!
Awesome. *huggles*
I do believe that you are one of my favorite people right about now.
I do what I can in my humble way.
In Soviet Russia, police find you!
in soviet russia, secret police keep you secret….
isr, the lost and found is … never found.
I clicked the comments on this one knowing there would be a good “IN Soviet Russia…” line. Thank you Pundit Kitchen commenters you did not disappoint.
In Soviet Russia, Pundit Kitchen comments on YOU!
Okay, that sucked.
In Soviet Russia, the caption writes you.
In Soviet Russia, lawn cares for you.
-glances left then right- in soviat russia…ummm…farmer plows you?
No, but filthy pigs slaughter you …
in alabama farmer plows his daughter? ewww
When the ewes aren’t available.
putin on the ritz — yea, it’s vladerday >:)
bah CSI:MOSCOW is so boreing, is always putin killed them
The interesting bit is how Putin gets to be found completely and utterly innocent – stabbed in the back 15 times then decapitated? A clear case of suicide . . .
Perfect. The pose really does look like Horatio with the glasses.
Looks like Mendelev …. Was Put in!
YYYEEEAAAAHHHHH!