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we heared you want


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  1. the_original_shortright says:

    misspelled.
    unfunny.
    about cats.

    i don’t like this new PK standard.

    • me neither, but i’ll have to cope with it since i’m banned everywhere else.

      • the_original_shortright says:

        judging from the shitstorm you’re brewing up with VNV back one LOL i’m not too surprised.

        for clarification: i agree with you that VNV is an asshole… especially about the military and their occupation of iraq. however, the “i know you are but what am i” argument that you and wicket have been having with him only serves to make you both look even more asinine than VNV. i’d suggest coming up with a coherent argument to prove your viewpoint, but VNV’s never strayed from his view in the entire time he’s been around. i thoroughly gave up on him about 2 weeks ago when he said (and i’m paraphrasing) that being in the military gave people an excuse to murder other people. if you wanna last around here… back out of that argument and avoid it like the plague. he’s never going to agree with you and you’re never going to agree with him. none of us want to see the same fight that so many others have had with him.

        • Hmm, i don’t know if you really read my comments on the last LOL. It’s wicket who’s been arguing with VNV, whilst I was just amusing myself to post crap between their comments. I usually don’t bother to argue with anyone.

        • Semperfidd says:

          I know. I am done too. It is, as we say in my household, without fruit. To explain, my 6th grader many years ago wrote a paper that was clearly plagerized from something she found on the internet. We asked her what fruitless meant. Her response….without fruit? Ahhh one of those priceless memories of having children that I will have forever.

          • Rando the Floydist says:

            You know what scares me? You can put “many years ago” and “the internet” in the same sentence now. I can remember the first time my family dialed up to AOL in the nineties. Seems like just yesterday.

            • the_original_shortright says:

              i remember having dial up JUNO… remember that crap??

              • CompuServe. Anyone remember that one? :-)

                • Justacarolinian says:

                  I remember both, and getting a $2300 bill from Compuserve. I was 16 and thought my dad was going to kill me. Fortunately, some movie also had some kid getting ripped off, so he let me slide on that one.
                  Anyone else the SYSOP of a BBS?

                  • Ivan The Atheist says:

                    I remember using Netzero when it was free. *sigh*

                    • viking gal the Floydist says:

                      I remember using a Vic20 with a tape recorder and the television screen–but I’m almost as old as Eddie the founding Floydist! We had to use TYPEWRITERS for our college papers! Thank all forms of goodness that laptops were around by dissertation time…although mine at that point was a dual floppy-drive with no C drive!

                      • We had a portable Remington in our house and my dad always insisted we type any reports or essays we did for school. And since I was horrible at spelling and punctuation, we kept an economy size bottle of White Out handy.

                      • I had an amiga with 2 floppys and no hard drive.

                      • Justacarolinian says:

                        I started with a TI-994a, and no tape drive. And I still remember doing book reports for school on an old Royal typewriter. The first time I saw an IBM Selectric, it was in my dad’s office on base, and I thought it was a fine example of the military having leading technology. Then I found out I could type faster than it could keep up, and giggled like the little boy I was at the time.

              • Rando the Floydist says:

                Vaguely. I remember a couple other dial up services that AOL eventually ate and crapped out a few hours later, like Prodigy or something. A couple others. What alarms me is that some people still use dial up. Is it possible to actually USE the Internet that way?????

              • Mina says:

                OMG, I was just thinking about that. I’m still convinced to this day that Juno is/was the devil.

            • Semperfidd says:

              Many as in 8 years lol. It is all relative

              • Rando the Floydist says:

                Yeah, I know. But we’ve all been surfing the ‘net for 15+ years now. Has it been that long?

                • Semperfidd says:

                  I remember cleaning out my shed about 8 years ago and my 5 year old asked me what a record was lol. I had a whole box of them and she had no idea what they were.

                  • Rando the Floydist says:

                    My first LP, like many of my generation, was Thriller. My 2nd LP was Beatles 20 Greatest Hits. I’m sure my dad still has some LPs somewhere. Possibly the copy of Revolver we got him for his birthday one year.

                    • wicket says:

                      Several years ago i was going through my fathers LP collection, and I found an unopened Thriller album. I wonder if it’s worth any money, just because it’s still in it’s original sealed packaging.

                      • the_original_shortright says:

                        especially now that MJ’s croaked… i’m sure that’s worth a few bucks. i’d check on ebay and see what unopened thriller LPs are going for.

                        if you’re willing to part with it you might be able to make a pretty penny.

                        • pittypat says:

                          He didn’t croak he was muuuurrrrrdderrdedeeeerrrrrdddddd

                        • wicket says:

                          ebay prices range from $75 all the way to $2000 buy it now. Crazy. Maybe I should put it up.

                        • Squiggly says:

                          I know a man who believe that MJ cloned himself and it was THE CLONE who died so everyone would think MJ was dead and he could have(even more) plastic surgery to run off to Brazil or somewhere and live the rest of his life out of the public’s view.
                          This man also predicted that six months after the clone died MJ’s children would mysteriously vanish in order to go live with their dad.

                          When I asked him if MJ was hiding out with Elvis and Bigfoot for the time being he stuttered about how I was a real funny person and walked away.

                        • Rando the Floydist says:

                          I think Elvis was waiting for MJ at the Pearly Gates. Where Elvis got the brass knuckles in heaven is anyone’s guess.

                        • Squiggly says:

                          Well he’s Elvis I suppose the angels were willing to bend certain rules for the King…

                        • Justacarolinian says:

                          Ribbit

                    • Justacarolinian says:

                      My first LP was Candy Land, lol. The first I actually saved my allowance for was Boney M, Nightflight to Venus. Let me note that I was 8 at the time, and in Germany.

                      • Rando the Floydist says:

                        Who and what?

                        • Can’t find a clear version, as there are MAJOR copyright fights going on. Boney M was one of the first groups that Frank Farian put together. (Think Milli Vanilli)
                          They were a German group, made up of several different nations. Farian actually did the male voices, but used the group as a front. The lead singer is totally top notch, and was really held back by Farian.
                          I grew up in Germany in the 70’s, and this was one of THE big hits in 78.
                          The link is a disco-pop remix that kinda kills it. If I can find a fresh copy of the original, I’ll post it sometime. Farian keeps pulling it, wanting money.
                          Candy Land was an actual LP made to go along with said game. Heavy with Sammy Davis Jr “Candy Man.”

                      • HelOnWheels says:

                        Buuahahahaha!! Boney M! What a flashback! My mom would pay HUGE money for Boney M bootleg tapes back in the USSR.

                      • Maxwell Silverhammer says:

                        Wow… that’s abstract.. my first LP was Jefferson Starship…..
                        Cause… I wanted somebody to love… no I NEEDED somebody to love…

            • LOL!!!!!!!!! I remember 300 baud modems that had the couplers for the old style phones.

              • the_original_shortright says:

                you probably remember party line phones too… because you’re sooooooo old. ;)

                • Party lines, no, but rotary dial phones were all we had when I was little!

                  • I remember when touch tone phones first came out.. or even better, simulated touch tone phones. You would dial the number and listen while it made the same sound as a rotary. And I bet a lot of people here don’t remember businesses that had on their opening messages, “If you are using a touch tone phone, please press 1 now. Otherwise stay on the line and someone will be with you shortly.” Even though I had a touch tone phone, I never pressed 1. I usually got through quicker..

                    • the_original_shortright says:

                      there are businesses that STILL have the “press 1 if you’re using a touch tone phone” and i really have to wonder about the 6 people in all of america who aren’t using a touch tone phone yet.

                      although you’re a lot more likely to come across “press 1 for english” now-a-days… but that’s a whole different can of worms.

                      • I want to hear “press 1 for english; press 2 for somebody who actually SPEAKS understandable english ” Then they can go on and have the 3 for spanish, 4 for khmer, or whatever.

                        • the_original_shortright says:

                          i would press 2 until the button fell off the phone. i hate calling tech support and getting someone who CLEARLY does not speak english who tells me their name is “joe” and then when i ask for someone who speaks english as their first language he tells me that he does speak english as a first language. BULLSHIT! your name is like 70 characters long with 4 vowels in the whole thing and you learned english a week and a half ago and the only phrases you learned were “hello my name is joe”, “did you try to reboot the computer”, “try that for me now”, “that is not under warranty”, “i can not help you”.

                        • PortlandMark says:

                          Whenever someone complains about tech support from India (or wherever) I have to post a link to Foamy the Squirrel’s Tech Support rant

                          {link}

                        • the_original_shortright says:

                          mark – thank you thank you thank you. that’s exactly what i mean. and i haven’t seen foamy in years. :)

                  • the_original_shortright says:

                    my church had one of those up until a few years ago. i think it was only there to discourage people from actually using it. took forever to dial my home phone number (lots of 9’s).

                    • viking gal the Floydist says:

                      Those things were a bitch to use if you had a sore index finger…and as a basketball player, I had a few of those before we went touch-tone.

                  • Ivan The Atheist says:

                    :( I remember rotary dial phones. And I remember the old baud modem couplers. OH GOD I’M SO OLD!

                    I also remember being in awe when Windows originally came out. After staring at Dos for so long, the colors were mesmerizing. And marveling at this “mouse thing”. *sigh*

                  • Justacarolinian says:

                    I bought a rotary dial kitchen wall phone from a yard sale, just so my kids would know what it was like. That and it makes the BEST ringer. You can hear that thing a block away. And the sound quality is 10 times better than any crap Radio Shack or Wal Mart sells today.

                • As a matter of fact, I do.. and I remember that where I lived we only had to dial 5 numbers as everyone had the same first two numbers. I remember ads that had for exampe, WH3- 1212 (WH stood for White Hall, or 94 if you look at your phone.)

                  Damn, I’m old… *sniffs*

            • HelOnWheels says:

              I had started using AOL back when it used to be “taken down for service” at like 3:00 a.m. Ah, the good old days when I couldn’t stay up all night messing about on the internet mostly because there was nothing to do.

            • charro the Floydist says:

              AOL.. I still have the same SN I did when I was 15… Hahaha I have a SN almost as old as Tygor…
              Oh dial up. How did we ever put up with your garbage!

    • The Steve says:

      Agreed. This page was not made for the cat people.

      FondleGropes shortright’s lady lumps for entertainment, with the hopes of stirring up some entertaining drama.

    • Care Troll says:

      I believe this is a case where ICHC corrupted the creator. I’ve got my self asking if I could has all too often.

  2. really? says:

    First!

    Suck it, Igor!

    • the_original_shortright says:

      you fail so spectacularly.

      and here is your random information:
      Star in the Dust (also released as Law Man) is a 1956 American western film made by Universal International Pictures and starring John Agar, Mamie Van Doren and Richard Boone.

      The Sheriff of Gunlock is due to hang Sam Hall for cattle-stealing. He has to contend, however, with various different citizens, including the cowboys who want to rescue him and the cattle-farmers who want to lynch him. Hall, meanwhile, is planning his escape with his girlfriend Nellie.[1]

      The film is probably most notable today for marking an early appearance of Clint Eastwood, although he played a very small role as a ranch hand.

      • brak says:

        Clint also hat a bit part in the third Creature From the Black Lagoon film. (Was it Revenge of the Creature?) He’s the lab tech who finds the missing mouse in his pocket.

    • Rando the Floydist says:

      Trolling a teenager is a massive, complete life fail. Please hold your breath until further notice.

  3. brak says:

    FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!!!!!
    Too many fails to even type.

  4. Someone post this on Failblog.

  5. Rando the Floydist says:

    Why can’t the ICHC people stay in the baby pool where they belong? Don’t decide our LOLs for us!!

  6. Krinkle Kutz says:

    Of course I’ve heard of cats.

  7. Xaqtly says:

    Both spelling AND grammar fail. I mean what’s with the question mark? Are they making a statement or asking a question? Are they asking if they “heared” about it, because they’re just not sure if they “heared” it correctly?

    Low ranked. Next time, pay attention in English class.

  8. Squiggly says:

    I came here to lol
    Saw this caption
    Sighed “Oh well…”
    Who here agrees,
    This caption’s a fail?

    • Rando the Floydist says:

      That seems to be the consensus. I wish the people who actually voted win on this one would come here and tell us WHY this crap is FUNNY to them.

      • Squiggly says:

        They all like cats and thought the idea of bathing one was funny?
        I have actually had to wash a cat before(oil in his fur, no I don’t know how it got there) and while I thought it was going to be all flying fur and bloodied arms he actually didn’t scratch me or put up that much of a fight.
        Quite disappointing really cause I got all charged up for nothing.

        • Rando the Floydist says:

          I’ve been ripped to shreds by one of my cats who touches water and can suddenly climb a tile wall like Spider-Man. I’m also allergic to cats, so my poor bloodied arms swelled up nice and itchy too. My wife wonders why I won’t bathe the cats more often.

          • Squiggly says:

            Awww that sucks. Depends on the cat I suppose. All mine really did was make pitiful meows and try to climb out of the tub.

            • Rando the Floydist says:

              My other cat did that, but he’s old, fat, and isn’t particularly quick. So he’s given up on that stuff. And unlike the other two, he’s declawed. I still get itchy and have to shower right after his bath or I end up miserable for the rest of the day.

          • peanut_butter says:

            You’re allergic to cats, yet you own
            (more than) one?

            • Rando the Floydist says:

              I like cats.
              You know, as long as I don’t huff their dander or bathe in cat stew (aka, the bathtub after they’ve had their bath), I’m generally okay. I only pet them for a little at a time. It seems I “get used to” them.

              • viking gal the Floydist says:

                I’ve read that living with cats (or dogs) keeps you from becoming REALLY allergic to them. Kind of like purring allergy shots!

        • the_original_shortright says:

          i’m going to ship you my cat (i’ll put airholes in the box)… she needs a bath. and at 7lbs and no claws on her front feet it still takes 2 of us to get her bathed.

        • FaileV says:

          mine had skin problems so i had to shampoo her quite often. All she did was just sit in the tub and do the whine meow thing.

          At least it’s not troll fodder…i mean what would they argue about?

          • Squiggly says:

            Oh I don’t know I reckon a troll can argue over just about anything. :\ I mean that’s the only thing the know how to do is argue.

            But you’re right this picture is pretty poor fodder for a normal troll.

          • Rando the Floydist says:

            Just wait. They always find a way.

            • “This is terrible! First of all, that poor cat’s rights are being violated horribly. If it wanted a bath, it would let you know. And you shouldn’t be forcing animals to be your pets anyway, it’s like SLAVERY. Plus, those guys are mindless violent tools of the military-industrial complex. And their uniforms are not ecologically friendly.” [/trolling]

              • Rando the Floydist says:

                VNV: The military is coming to murder the cat in their baths.

                • Squiggly says:

                  MUUUUUUURRRRDDDDEEEERRR!!!11!!!!!!!elebenty!

                • the_original_shortright says:

                  THOSE CATS ARE INNOCENT CIVILIANS! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD MURDER THEM! YOU’RE A HORRIBLE PERSON! YOU’RE JUST A SOLDIER SO YOU CAN MURDER PEOPLE!

                  /vnv

                  • the_original_shortright says:

                    I READ ABOUT HOW CATS HAVE BEEN HISTORICALLY TREATED POORLY IN BOOKS SO I KNOW WAY MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER POSSIBLY KNOW ON THE SUBJECT! I READ BOOKS.

                    /vnv (i think i’m done now… maybe)

                    • Cats build wooden houses, you know. Speciesist. :-P

                      • the_original_shortright says:

                        CATS MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY. WE NEED A SALARY CAP SO THAT NO CAT MAKES TOO MUCH MONEY AND WE CAN PROVIDE LITTER BOXES AND CAT NIP TREATS TO ALL THE CATS IN THE WORLD. IF THOSE DAMNED BILLIONAIRE CATS ONLY SHARED THE LITTER THERE WOULDN’T BE ANY IMPOVERISHED CATS IN THE WORLD.

                        AND THEY DON’T LIVE IN WOOD HOUSES. THEY DON’T HAVE THUMBS YOU IDIOT. THEY CAN’T BUILD HOUSES. GOD, YOU’RE ALL MORONS. DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHING? YOU NEED TO READ BOOKS ALL DAY LIKE I DO. THEN YOU’LL BE SMART AND GOOD LOOKING AND HAVE A GIANT WANG AND ALL THE GIRLS WILL WANT YOU UNTIL THEY FIGURE OUT YOU’RE AN INTOLERANT INSUFFERABLE ASSHOLE WITH A WANG SMALLER THAN A COCKTAIL WEENIE OUT OF A CAN.

                        /vnv (ok, i really do think i’m done now.)

    • Akoto says:

      Of course it’s a fail. Every single caption on every section of the board is a fail. I’ve never seen so much misery on a website devoted to comedy.

  9. The Steve says:

    Heared?

    WTF. Do they even teach spelling in school these days?

  10. lowly grunt says:

    Those guys can come bathe my cat anytime. My dog, too. Oh, and vacuum the animal hair out of my house. And wash the dishes, they’re really piling up. Something needs to be thawed for dinner and the dust bunnies under my bed are breeding again.

    Hop to it, people!!

  11. brazzy says:

    I’m pretty sure that’s German riot police – looks exactly like their gear. And if I had to guess then I’d say they’re guarding one of those amazingly unpopular nuclear waste transports.

    • lowly grunt says:

      YAY! Someone knows (maybe) what’s going on in the picture!

      Oh, and we are all very very very old people. I was going to mention something about 8-tracks up yonder in this thread, but thought the better of it.

  12. ... says:

    This is one of those “so bad it’s funny” situations for many reasons.

    Whoever wrote the caption should probably kill themself.

  13. RowanVT says:

    While grossly misspelled, I work at a cat only veterinary hospital and I can say with authority that we would love to have gear like that for some of the patients we have to groom. Nothing like fishing a cat out from under a bank of cages with a fishing net as it’s tryping to attack your face.

  14. sachet says:

    “Does your cat make too much noise? Try Kitten Mittens!! ™”

  15. Truthmonster says:

    giving a cat a bath is absolutely cruel. they’re self cleaning! i’m totally opposed to ANYONE who washes their cat and believe that such people should be shot in the face

  16. caitlin oreillygreen says:

    these are the greek riot police. the picture must be from the december 2008 riots


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