MARTIAL ARTS
MARTIAL ARTS WIN
Honestly, who wouldn’t want that ability?
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HAHAHAH! HAHAAHA! HAH… No. I don’t get what the fun is here. Again, I fail.
*high five*
I fail too…
*tries to high five and misses*
Yeah me too.
*laughs as he walks buy and witnesses this then runs into wall*
That makes four.
*trips over her own shoelaces*
Five!
*gets distracted*
Sex.
*finally jolts awake*
Huh?? Wha..?? Sex???
I take it that makes you seven . . .
*trips over dog while trying to find glasses*
…and eight.
*notices a girl you once knew*
Although she’s dressed up to the nines,
At sixes and sevens with you.
*finds glasses-bangs head on door anyway*
Oh geezee…don’t tell her I’m here pleeeze!
She always thought she was a 10. Actually only a 3 with an over active ego.
Hide me please, o Pun Mistress.
Eleven a minute so I better think quick . . .
But I don’t want to twelve on it too deeply . . .
That dozen help me…I’m getting scared! She’s got that scary look in her eye and she’s looking this way. *ducks behind couch and slams head on end table* owowowowow
Maybe if you sit down with her fourteen and crumpets she won’t be half bad.
She’s one of the thirteen ghosts in my closet. Brrrrr, this one’s rrrrreally scarrrry, keeds!
Geez Andy, maybe that’s why you can’t get laid in Mayberry.
- Barney Fife-teen
Now Barney, you know as well as I do that isn’t a problem.I had six teens just in the last month…and you keep your mouth shut or I’ll let it out about you and Gomer….and Goober…and Floyyd.
High school girls with clear skinned smiles …
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on those more beautiful …
At seventeen I learned the truth…
I’m Eighteen
And I don’t know what I want..
And I like it, like it, like it, love it…..
We shall abolish the orgasm. Our neurologists are at work upon it now. There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother.
— Nineteen(eightyfour).
Is that a pledge pin??
ON YOUR UNIFORM???
Drop and give me twenty!!!
The odds of that happening are about twenty(to)one.
How long can this go on before it becomes a Catch 22?
I dunno maybe 2, 3 years at the most.
Twentytwentytwenty four hours to go
I wanna be sedated
Nothin’ to do nowhere to go-o
I wanna be sedated.
I suspect 20 fifths of gin should do the trick.
O lordy…I’d be two six to stand after that. *blurps just thinking about it*
*adds two seven deadly sins list*
I woulda’ added sins, but I had two eight for my ‘puter to reboot….
Let’s increase the list two nine or ten of them. What could it hurt?
Mine won’t reboot until two nine, two nine
(won’t be just any nine).
You thirty rat, you beat me to it!
Had two really bad responses.
Couldn’t use them both so I three(w) one away and this is all that’s left.
(getting harder, isn’t it?
)
Yah it’s hard work –
I think I need a thandwitch and a thoft drink – I’m getting hungry and tho thirty two.
How about a nice Rolling Rock 33 to wet your whistle?
Thanks – Even beer’s a luxury these days. You know there’s been thirty fourclosures in my neighborhood?
When I was thirty five
It was a very good year…
(ok…reaching on this one, I admit it. Hey, it’s damn hard keeping up with the PK Punmeister! Do we go all the way to 100? )
What do you get if you pour boiling water on a mink coat and drink it?
Fur tea sick(s)
*pants* Enh, I used to whip these up in thirty secs to a minute. Now they take forever. If our PK pals helped out, we could get to 100!
Forty seven dead beats living in the back street
north east west south all in the same house
sitting in a back room waiting for the big boom
I’m in a bedroom waitng for my baby
Hurrah! No cutting corners, though *link*
C-c-c-combo BREAKER!!!!!
Not if you looked at the link silly goose.
For that you get to meet my .38 Super caliber semi-automatic, barrel length 3î, overall 5 æî, width 1î weight 23 ounces, smooth double action magazine capacity 6, but I keep it on the down low, iykwim.
I have to re-do 37 because there is ONLY ONE proper response.
Dante
“THIRTY SEVEN!! My girlfriend sucked thirty seven di*ks!!”
Randall
“In a row?”
…..and I’ve been so waiting for it to come around.
And they were all done 39.
*you mean 69?*
No, 39. She was half-hearted about it.
“40, the big four-o”
“Is that anything like spaghetti-o?”
he’s a farty one, that one….
Why did you guys stop before the answer? 42 is the answer!!! You gotta give the answer!!!!
Oh I went down south forty three my galaxy
Singing polly wolly doodle all the day . . .
“…and seeing as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you have to ask yourself a question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya PUNK?”
From Kerry and Cork to old Donegal
Let’s hear it for Barack from old Moneygall
From the lakes if Killarney to old Connemara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack (45th in ‘12) O’Bama
Old Number Forty Seven
Steamin’ down the track
Gonna jump me in a boxcar
Ain’t never lookin’ back
Oof I’m so burpy and forty/ate too much tacos.
I told you forty nine(th) time, go easy on those things. You know how you get. Carramba!
I’ll just have to sit back with Season 1 of Hawaii 50 and let it pass.
5 (to) 1 baby
1 in 5
No one here gets
Out alive
They got the guns but
We got the numbers
Gonna win yeah we’re
Takin’ over….
COME ON!!!!
(Like the leather pant’s Pitty?)
I sure do . . .
*takes out cards, plays 52 pick-up, enjoys the view*
We’re fifty three per cent of the way there, Pitty!!
(Glad you like the leathers…best part is they still fit!…mostly.
)
Clever …
Anyway, at least your clothes are picked out for when we go clubbing. Hmm, whatever happened to Studio 54?
Urg….remember our last night there? I felt like I spent 55 Days at Peking. What WAS that guy (?) trying to put in our noses?
Hate to break it to you brak, but that was no guy and that was *not* your nose. But who can remember anything after being up til 5, 6 in the morning.
There were 57 Varieties all trying for my Heinz! Whew!! What a night…forgot what those leathers can do!
The air was so heady I nearly as fiftyeighted on my yayo.
Crawling with celebreties….did you notice Fitty (and his) nine man posse??
No but I saw the clips later on 60 Minutes with Hairy Pees-on-her and Randy Loony.
Yeah…that was a six one, wasn’t it?
He finally go transferred to the Wichita office, at
620-LAM-EDUK.
Speaking of music, it’s damn tough being in a cover band sometimes. I must have had to play that song by Nikki Sixx three thousand time or so by now.
Ouch, that makes covering the Beatles almost compelling.
By the way, will we still be punny, or will we say,
“not funny!” when we get to 164?
We’re doing the whole “Beatles ‘65″ album in it’s entirety!
Did you know there was a Beatles Cartoon series in 1966? (Your song starts at 2:54).
Rats now I’m at sixes and sevens all over again; they’ve borked the hyperlinkage thingie again.
What a great decade. All we did was had sex, eight acid groooooooved!
Perhaps if he didn’t eat red meat Henry Gibson wouldn’t have met his fickle finger of fate at 73…
Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We’ll always have 69
What say when we finally make it to 100 we celebrate with a huge meal of about seven tee bone steaks?
You can have the seven/one is fine for me.
And that way our steaks can be a prime rib number.
You’re right seven, two many. No need for gluttony…as long as there’s pie for desert!
Perhaps if he didn’t eat red meat Henry Gibson wouldn’t have met his fickle finger of fate at 73…
(pay no attention to the nesting fail behind the curtain)
It was all those tiny little White Castle burgers he was addicted to…seven fo(u)r 2 bucks!
Seven! Even if I’ve had four I’d croak. Truth is, (s)even fife had one I’d feel woozy.
Know what you mean. Even a couple of them and my insides would sound like 76 trombones…and not just my insides. Ew.
The explosion would be so severe there’d be nothing left of those wretched hamburgers. Sort of like flight 77 at the Pentagon …
Right now I’m having a Numbah 78, Pineapple Chicken w/ peppah. Velly nice!!
Careful, it’s like eating German food, Mein Herr.
You could put on seven – nein – eight pounds!
OMG….I can’t believe I eighty the whole thing!!
Well you’ve got to accent-you-eight one positive
And elim-in-eight one negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister Eighty One!
*awesome Pitty*
Actually, I eight two of them…now I’m starting to gurgle.
*lame brak*
I’ll do better. honest.
If you eight three squares a day, you wouldn’t get so round.
;);)
Well. I’ve cut out most snacks so you can’t bereight (me) four that!
Will you (h)eight me if five run out of food puns?
(h)eight isixactly the opposite of what I would feel. I have total confidence that the PK punmistress will continue in triumph…and eventually wear me down.
(Really gettin’ hard now, innit?)
Wouldn’t want to appear to 86 our pundit punnery prematurely!
Sorry I’m a bit (l)eight-seven o’clock alarm didn’t go off.
100 is in sight!
Eh, nobody’s perfect. Even the number 88 is considered to be a semiperfect number. It’s also a refactorable number, a primitive number, an untouchable number, and an hexadecagonal number. I bet it oversleeps sometimes, too.
Yeah but 89 is…well….it has an eight. And a nine! Yeah….together! Wow!
LOL, we can do this! We’re 90 percent there!
And are we at a dead end?
NEIN! One more down!
I’m on the job!
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin’
Out on the streets
The traffic starts jumpin’
And folks like me on the job from nine two five.
There are ninety t(h)rees in the forest. If one falls and there is no PK member to hear it, is it still funny?
I four one think it would be a nine four getable experience.
There should be ninety fifes in the band that will be on hand to celebrate when we make 100!
And a tambornine & sixylophones!
And we’ll need waiters for the party too. With all the PK gueast invited, we’ll need to have about ninety se(r)ven us.
I’m so excited I feel feverish! But the thermometer only says
98.0.
THERE THEY GO INTO THE AIR IN CELEBRATION…99 LUFTBALLOONS!!!!
TAKE IT AWAY BABY….IT’S ALL YOURS!
(so excited…we dood it!)
Wow, you’re good.
*gingerly extracts right arm, stretches out languidly, lights up a Marlboro Red, exhales slowly, and is One Hundred Percent satisfied*
You’re pretty amazing yourself.
*gives an intimate pat to pitty’s pittypat and basks in so-fine afterglow*
And that’s why u never take the beer from a shaolin.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When you can take the Tsing-Tao from my hand, it will be time for you to leave.
Was that a real life incident?
erm… looks to be CGI to me…
Not likely a real life inicident. Both the kicker and the the kickee still have their glasses on. That’s not likely to be the case in a real fight. The impact should have knocked the glasses off the one being kicked, and I have RARELY seen anyone fight with glasses on.
Thats what happens when Sanji opened up his own martial art dojo.
We’ve secretly replaced a rioter with a Ninja…. let’s see if they notice.
Best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup . . .
^^^^^^^ Both better captions. Honestly, who votes for these?
(although, I don’t vote, so perhaps I shouldn’t complain)
The Vote is a lie. I’ve made it a point to vote over the past two weeks, but lols keep showing up that I didn’t even see on upcoming… Maybe we should take it to the streets…
*paints protest sign*
*double checks sign for spelling errors*
*hoists sign above head*
PK NEEDS BETTER LOLS!
And more sex addicts! More pot smoking little devils!
More sports nuts!
And more sex addicts!
i thought DWN was back for a little bit. i think he was on vladurday…
Well I got a bite out of him anyway.
*Lays back with a cigarette*
All you got was a bite?
You bitch!
Lewd woman!
I’m – I’m – bedside myself!
Don’t give me any sheet, I said I’d cover you!
Be cautious when making blanket statements.
Eh quilt your griping.
Can’t a guy get some comforter what around here?
*headboard*
Ouch. Hope your pillow isn’t a sham.
*hates self-but says it anyway*
Wubbie great if I could think of something to say too, but my mind’s blankie….
You guys have me in stitches!
Sew you like this thread, eh?
No need to get all lovey duvet about it.
Gotta spread the love!
I’ll eiderdown play it or get really pissed off.
Hey! No featherbedding here!
What a load of bunk *trundles up bedding and stomps off*
Aw c’mon…don’t get your springs in a coil.
I’m Serta lost without you here.
I was just teasing. Didn’t even put a futon the floor.
Whew! I got nervous for a minute there.
Now I feel Sealy.
C-c-c-combo BREAKER!!
I think I’m fitted to be tied after this pun run. Shee(t)sh.
Rando, I didn’t know that you linen that direction . . .
Watch out for him…make sure he keeps that goose down!
Hmm, that could really make this thread count . . .
He’s stuck in that box! Spring him!
Let’s take him to the Ba Da Bedding Ba Da Bing strip joint.
That should spring him.
We’ll take him to PJ’s. What a nightie he’ll have!
Poor Rando, maybe afghan too far this time.
Or maybe he’s just too far gown already.
Hey don’t robe me of my pun!
I meant afghan as in blanket, sheeeeet!
It’s ok. We’ll bring him in for a nightcap and make sure he’s all right.
But only one nightcap –
wouldn’t want him to slipper something.
Not only that, the lad will certainly need his Beautyrest.
You know I think he might have been delta bad hand in the sleep department. I’ll see alpha can help him relax.
Let’s try music. I’m pretty sure his favorite band is REM.
I know he’s a dyed in the wool fan.
But maybe he should just count sheep.
To dye wool, to count sheep; perchance to dream:
ay, there’s the backrub.
*Brak stands back gaping in awe at that one. Has to take a moment and reboot his brain*
And look at the awful bedhead when he wakes up…and his posture is pedic as well.
To bed, to bed, bath, and beyond: sleep kill those pretty eyes (but I Ambien kind).
Ahhhhh….sounds like the Perfect Sleeper.
Oops – well, not like it’s ripped-from-headlines snooze, but I screwed that one up.
Nothing like a good story to distract from sominex and pains.
And there wil be NoDoz ing while we discuss this!
I’ve been a bed, bed girl.
I was bedding on that! How ’bout some sack time??
Well I’ve sat in thrones, and I’ve satin sheets, so I might as well sit in your lap.
Here….let me fluff up my stuffing for you!
OK, then, I think I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow up your air mattress.
Wow! That will definitely fill up my sleeping bag!!
I doubt you’ll have any trouble meeting nocturnal auto emissions performance standards.
I’m sure it will be exhausting, but I’ll recover nicely.
Well bully for you – I have such a sproing in my neck I’ll have to take a pill-owch!
Here…just settee down here and I’ll rub that sproing out for you. How lounge has it been bothering you?
Ah, that’s bedder. Been (bed)bugging me ever since the incident on the pool table in that two bit divan Sleepy Hollow. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.
OMG…how could I ever?? That’s what you call rackin’ it up! I (s)lumbered around in a daze for a week! A whole new meaning to eight ball.
Were there eight of them? I can’t remember. I think I was sleepwalking.
You were no somnambulist, that’s for sure! But at least we saved sominex time.
Sounds like it was sedate of a lifetime.
Sofa King great! So stimulatin’ !! (wondering if she’ll get the reference) More Pittypatty cake please!
It’s neither nice snore fair to leave your punpal feeling clueless *huffs*
I’ll be apnea clear it up for you.
It’s from “I Do the Rock” on Tim Curry’s first album.
And don’t huff, darlin’….here….have a hit of this instead. Mo Natchul!
Easy there, you might trigger my hypnogogic reflex.
Probably not as long as we’re reclining.
You must have me confused with a bruxism blond with a pun fetish. Oh wait …
We do seem to be alone here….far from the matting crowd. (winkey winkey)
*stifles Hardy laughter*
We’re certain to ruffle some dust!
That should bolster our relationship AND provide cover and concealment!
Oy Voyeur!
At this rate I hope the bed doesn’t break narcoleps(y).
If we don’t pad it too hard it shouldn’t shuffle off this mortal coil.
(still chuckling abut the Hardy laughter)
Ophelia pain; Tess a hotbed of literary references, fourposters on PK, at least.
And we’ve cot plenty of them!
That might be bunk, bed I still think Yorick clever one.
Ah….even in your sleep you’re smarter and funnier than you can Shake a Speare at!
Ah, you sleighbed me with your kindness.
Well you’re certainly no layabout!
You’re no lazyboy.
I think we’ll both deserve a recliner day when this run is done….if it’s ever done.
Hon, if this run is done, we’ll just have to dream up a ton more pun run fun.
The pitty and brak show….coming to a thread near you….whether you want it or not!
(….and hand in hand, pitty and brak continued to commit foul word crimes and strolled off into the sunset, pun guns at the ready. No one is safe. )
I think they noticed…
I’m don’t know if this is China but I don’t think it’s a good idea to kick a Cop in the face… in China, or in any other communist country for that matter.
Not much of a good idea in the States either there, Sparky. I think it would be a free ticket to the Taser on the Nads Show.
That would be totally worth it! xD Being tortured for the rest off your visit in prison on the other hand is not, if that. From what I’ve heard you can end up on death row for far less then this.
Looks Japan to me. Yamakazi…
Don’t you mean Yakuza? Yamakazi is an artist.
Nonsense. This is clearly Vancouver.
Meh tinkz Korea?
THE BLOGGER
A blog for the world
ROUNDHOUSE KICK and FALCON PAWNCH 4 evar!! and this FTW!!
That’s not a roundhouse kick, you know.
Besides, doesn’t “paunch” mean a large saggy belly?
Good point!
FALCONNNNN PAAAAAWWWWWNNNNCCCHHHHHH!
This is racist. Poor Obama.
why is the kicker headless?
This appears to be a staged demonstration to me. Notice the perfect photo-op composition. Also, as the other fellow says, both participants are still wearing their glasses. Furthermore, the position of the bodies (note the over-acted spin effect on the guy in the foreground and the exaggerated falling position of the guy in back, despite no known forces acting to produce such effect) seem to indicate a staged performance.
The only thing working against this hypothesis at the moment is that the only visible potential audience (notice the line of people in the background) is turned in the other direction.
I suppose it could go either way, but with the evidence present, I’m more likely to believe that it’s a demonstration.
Well thank you Eddie Haskell. Now I think it’s time for you to go home.
-Mrs. Cleaver.
Leave it to Beaver FTW!!
Lulz, excellent.
Being a good sport FTW!
Eh. The person doing the kicking is somewhat clumsy, but it’s hard to tell with just a pic. The spin is actually intended, if he’s doing what I think he’s doing (I’m assuming the spin you mentioned was directed at the kicker). Still, it does seem a bit staged.
I was talking more about the guy being kicked. See the way his legs are folded? That would mean he was originally facing so that his back was turned to us, and then he was VIOLENTLY PROPELLED ZOMG (TM) by the force of the other guy’s kick!!!! [/sarcasm] That’s the real “kicker” piece of evidence, since unless he’s a ragdoll barely capable of lifting that baton, he wouldn’t move quite as much. Also, there would probably be BLOOD EVERYWHERE, now that I think about it, if the kicker really had connected with the guy’s jaw, as seems to be the desired inference of the picture.
Yay, much less Eddie Haskell on accounta it’s pretty funny.
-The Beave
OK, I think I get it now. You’re making sure I’m not taking myself too seriously, right?
Oh I’m just playing. No worries
Oooooooooh, i c wat u did thar.
Clearly, sir, you have never been kicked in the face.
I have on occasion, but I’ve never had such a dynamic reaction as is seen here, so either this guy’s roundhouse kicks have unimaginable power behind them, or the other guy is “selling” the person’s move for the sake of demonstration. Think of it like wrestling, where these two guys are “jobbing” for the hero.
If I took my glasses off for a fight I would be up the creek. I have 20/1000 vision. Five times the legal limit for being legally blind in the state of Ohio, and I seem to think that this is not Street Fighter so they more than likley weren’t planning on getting a beat down so they COULDN’T ask Mr. Kicky to hold up a second to lose the specs. Besides it’s really just that funny, who cares if it is fake?
Oh, I didn’t mean they SHOULD take off the glasses, I meant that the force of the kick would likely have knocked the glasses off of both of them.
And yeah, it’s quite funny, I have no doubts about that, I just thought it would be equally entertaining to debate its authenticity.
I’ve been hit pretty hard in the face without losing my glasses. I wear them pretty tight, though. The cop didn’t take his glasses off because he has to see what he’s doing. Plus, I think he has a neck strap. As for the aggressor, I’m pretty sure he’s wearing shades, and nobody removes their shades to do a flying kick/body tackle. Coolness is the only thing that makes that move work.
Exaggerated twisting is pretty simple to explain in a legitimate fight. My explanation for the dude on the left is that he was stepping in with his right foot and twisting to put force behind that baton he was swinging when he saw a frickin foot flying at his frickin face. Not beind fatally stupid, he pulled back from the incoming foot-to-face connection and rolled with it, ending up in a weird as heck twisted posture, and subsequently losing his balance and falling, in all likelihood, but not having his nose and cheekbone crushed and spraying blood all over the pavement.
As for cop #2’s exaggerated falling position, he was moving towards the guy when, holy crap, there’s a flying guy leaping at his face. Again he reacted rationally, and not being able to stop his forward momentum with his legs, flung himself backwards from his torso.
And both cops probably needed hot baths and a massage the day after. Imagine the pulled muscles!
Yeah, like I said, I meant the former, not the latter.
I suppose it is a little presumptuous to assume that the glasses MUST fly off due to the active forces, but I will maintain that I find it more likely.
You know, that actually sounds plausible. I don’t think the guy’s leaping, though, it looks like he’s pivoting on his left foot. While I can’t see the guy’s left arm, it looks like he might be pushing the guy in the back down with it. I dunno, I’m going to have to remain skeptical on this one and lean toward demo.
Thank God for Yubawaza!!!
Lame. They replaced the guns with Walky Talkies.
You really think it’s a shoop? I thought the walkies -might- be replaced, but I couldn’t tell, ’cause I’m not a pro.
Do you happen to have a link to the original?
okay if its a fake then tell me wheres it from. i’m interested in source even if its not a fake. NAO
bitter troll can do that, he just chooses not to
Of course you can darling
*pats bt on head, careful not to get to close to teeth*
Confucicius say: cop who doesn’t know when to let go of phone get shoe in face.
where does he end? where do they begin? lol nice picture
Whoa… this reminds me of The Matrix.
I see no reason to believe it’s staged. The kick could be a side kick, but more likely is a hook kick. I agree that foreground cop is more likely twisting to try to dodge it than actually as a result of having been nailed. The fact that the cop’s glasses are on now doesn’t mean they still will be in another half a second, though it’s possible his earpieces are of the hook design that stay on quite well under the most frenetic movement.
As for the kicker’s glasses – if you’re kicking properly, your head doesn’t move that much.
Re: the cop obscured by the kicker – well, he’s obscured. Hard to tell what happened there. Possibly nothing (yet) and he’s just startled by the sudden movement of the kicker and is reacting instinctively.
It’d be a lot more revealing if we could see photos from a half-second before and a half-second after, but we work with what we’re given.
even their police cant hold them