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50. cals and an ipod



american soldier

50. cals and an ipod sounds like a party to me

(An American Soldier)

Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: usedsil80 via Our LOL Builder

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» 207 comments

  1. paws4thot says:

    A quad-mount 50-cal installation on an I=Pod sounds like a party tune to me!

  2. asf says:

    great, here goes the hippy vs. rambo debate

  3. crazydude1992 says:

    lol the IPod is playing “Break Stuff”

  4. VictoryNotVengeance says:

    Sounds like a party, looks like people dying!

  5. tankrunner1123 says:

    “Listen to your favorite tunes while kicking ass”

  6. Bix Nood says:

    To me it seems sort of like a modern take on whole Vietnam thing. Ammo, and a peace sign.

    But the iPod has Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit on it. I can’t help but hope this picture was taken in the year 2000. Because any time after that would be epic fail.

  7. Danbala says:

    Why does it say “50. cal”?
    Shouldn’t it be “.50 cal”, if there should be a “point” there?

    • paws4thot says:

      A bit of Wikipedia gives the largest bore gun ever built or projected as 975mm, say 39.0 inch.

      I’m not commenting on what was in the author’s mind, but in wargames circles a 0.50″ calibre heavy machine gun (particularly the Browning) is normally known as a “fifty cal”.

      • the_original_shortright says:

        hee hee i’d love to see this guy carry around a whole 9 yard string of 50. cal on his belt… i see it ending in a rather 3 stooges sort of way.

      • Charlie Foxtrot says:

        Ahhh, wiki inexperience. First off, a rifle verses a musket, a rifle verses a gun (not the “this is my rifle, this is my gun” chant, but a gun, as in heavy artillery. then you mix metric (mm) of english (inches) or (caliber) — all very confusing, except when you’re on the receiving end, then you just don’t care cuz — YOU’RE DEAD!

        • paws4thot says:

          What “wiki inexperience”? I quoted the largest bore gun (hence clearly implying an artillery piece, not a 1 or 2 man portable), and supplied both the quoted calibre and an Imperial conversion. Then moved on to talk specifically about heavy machine guns.

        • CDC says:

          Actually, the Browning M-2 .50 caliber crew served weapon can be referred to as a gun because it is a machine gun. It is NOT a rifle! I would love to see someone fire it from the hip, let alone their shoulder! I was going to leave this alone till I saw the “this is my rifle, this is my gun” quote. Have a nice day.

  8. bob noxious says:

    Should be “.50 Cal” not “50. Cal”

    I give it a fail for the poster…

    • Czernobog says:

      I don’t really care that much about minor proofreading issues like these, myself, but I don’t see any humour in this submission.

      • paws4thot says:

        A 0.5″ calibre weapon is a fairly common heavy machine gun; a 50.0″ (4 foot 2 inch or 1270mm) calibre would be the largest bore weapon ever built.

        The humour is in the typo, not the cap.

    • Mrs. Hooah says:

      Woot for .50 – I’m a girl, and even I know that :) Good try, though :) Personally, I’d be more impressed by a 155 round. But, you might not notice the ipod then :)

    • Ellipses says:

      I concur.

      If you’re going to do it, do it right.

  9. Jason N. says:

    all i know is i never want to be shot by a ‘50.’ caliber weapon

  10. Danbala says:

    i imagine it’d be a rather painless, if squashy, death.

    :D

  11. CarmenT says:

    I predict bad things for that iPod. That darn sand eats electronics over there. The Garmin 12 my husband took was the exception to that rule. Even navved him back to the firebase in a sandstorm.

    • CarmenT says:

      Hey, anyone know why the pic I added to my profile doesn’t show? It’s visible in my Dashboard, but not on my comment.

      • paws4thot says:

        Have you logged into WordPress, and your Cheeznet a/c?

      • the_original_shortright says:

        did you use gravatar.com and then use the same login email address here as you did there?

        • carmensrt says:

          That fixed it! Thank you. Didn’t realize one needed two accounts to post an avatar here – figured the “Edit Picture” upload feature in Dashboard ought to be the proper way to upload an avatar. Silly me.
          Thanks again to the helpers.

    • Jane St.Clair says:

      My brother was the same way. It was like Final Destination for his electronics, wondering which one was going to die next.

  12. Eric says:

    Always does.

  13. suicide_retardblonde says:

    This caption is racist against Obama and I’m going to cry about it.

  14. James says:

    Good pic, good caption.
    Personally, I’d throw in some White Zombie while firing.

  15. mAlise_teh_nova says:

    ‘hey, let’s shoot people (who may or may not have actually been enemies before we killed their families) whilst listening to some ov the most retarded music known to man!’

    …this is why i wish i could afford to move out ov the country.

    • Semperfidd says:

      We could take up a collection for your peace loving hippy ass

    • I see you’re trying to save up to leave the country by rationing your use of capital letters. Wait, are you concerned that we’ll think you’re a capitalist if you use them? :???:

      • mAlise_teh_nova says:

        usually, i get ornery when people fuss about my lack ov capitalisation. you, however, have created most marvelous win. :bows:

        and i’ve just never seen the point ov capitalisation.

        • froofrou says:

          Psssst!! It’s “of”, not “ov”.

          • mAlise_teh_nova says:

            psssst! give me one good reason (tradition and convention don’t count)

            • bitter clown says:

              Communication?

              • mAlise_teh_nova says:

                yes, because spelling one word differently than the rest ov you has made it completely impossible for anyöne to figure out what i’m saying.

                • bitter clown says:

                  What if everyone decided they wanted to use different letters?

                  • mAlise_teh_nova says:

                    they did. welcome to the internet. not that i approve ov this hideous netspeak or even lolspeak thing, but if you’re goïng to complain about someöne’s spelling on the internet, i daresay there are far more deserving targets than myself.

                • Mike says:

                  You’d have to say that again…Didn’t quite get you.

                • The Amazing Rando says:

                  Spelling “of” like “ov” doesn’t make you special.

                  • Sure it does. Short bus special…

                  • mAlise_teh_nova says:

                    i never said it did.

                    • Moji says:

                      OK I’m sorry but you look like an asshat typing “ov” instead of “of”. It’s so mind-boggling because what you say isn’t inherently stupid except for… “ov”. Also, I find your lack of capitalization disturbing.
                      But seriously… “ov”? What’s the motivation? Being a unique flower? f and v are right next to each other on the keyboard. Is it that hard to type it correctly?
                      There’s a difference between “tradition” and just plain being stupid. If you’re trying to make some kind of point about “of”’s pronunciation, you frickin’ failed. Everyone just thinks you’re a jackass.

            • Hell's Fedex Driver says:

              Did you seriously just ask for an argument as to why you should you use correct spelling and grammar?

              • mAlise_teh_nova says:

                let me rephrase, then: give me one good reason why ONE WORD IN THE ENTIRE LANGUAGE should be spelt with an ‘f’ but pronounced with a ‘v’.

          • the_original_shortright says:

            thank you… my eye was starting to twitch every time i saw “ov”. you’d think the red squigglies would have been a good clue that it was incorrect.

            • mAlise_teh_nova says:

              do you believe everything firefox tells you?

              • HelOnWheels says:

                Do you believe every thing the voices in your head tell you?

              • ay dios mio says:

                I have a firefox totem in my living room. He tells me not to damage a good Chevy Nova.

              • the_original_shortright says:

                notice, moron, i said “the red squigglies would have been a good clue” indicating that you should have looked at it and gone “oh yeah, that’s wrong”. didn’t say that anything that firefox says is correct.

                get it fcuking right.

                i’m sick of all you damned trolls coming in, polluting the place, pissing off the regulars until they leave and then acting like your shit doesn’t stink. buy a god damned english dictionary and get the hell out.

                /grumpiness

                • blackqhat says:

                  :Cheer:

                • The Amazing Rando says:

                  Some regulars are closer than you think…

                • mAlise_teh_nova says:

                  firefox is the only browser (to my knowledge) that hands out red squigglies a la microsoft word.
                  are you familiar with the concept ov learning the rules so one can break them? i know my way around the language pretty well, and i know what doesn’t make sense to me.

                  also: as long as you’ve already decided i’m a troll (and you apparently think you’re somehow not)–OV OV OV OV OV

                  jesus bleeding christ, my original comment had nothing to do with spelling or grammar, but apparently some people can’t tell the difference between the comment section ov a political humour site and an english class.

    • Mike says:

      Narrow minded. Everyone’s got their right to taste, whether it be music or the fact they prefer the sound of “50. cal” instead of “.50 cal”. You know, having a reaper of death in your arms you gotta set the mood. I for one love LB…Cos i can.

    • Tanker says:

      “Hey lets make comments about something we only know from T.V. because we all know 9th hand reports are the most reliable.” ‘Lets also make comments that have NOTHING to do with the pic or title.” (except mabye the music LB sucks)

      • mAlise_teh_nova says:

        regardless ov whether or not our ‘intervention’ (for lack ov a nicer word) was necessary or justified, it’s reprehensibly irresponsible to treat war with a party atmosphere.

        • Naoyusimi says:

          Guess what? It could be that the picture is of someone who is shooting for fun and not for war . . .

          Believe me, shooting the S&!T out of things can be quite therapeutic.

          I doubt that’s the case with the captioned pic, but since this is an extreme closeup, we may never know . . .

        • WhoNose says:

          So what are you saying, my hero? To find saying things like “Hey, shooting towelheads in Iraq was a hell of a party!” obnoxious, you must have actually done it yourself? What were you doing there anyway?

          And yes, Limp Bizkit only made it worse, but fits nicely in the picture.

  16. lowly grunt says:

    “50 cal” just makes me think of food. Oh, hey! It’s lunchtime!

  17. BitterButter says:

    For some reason, grabbing my Barrett and I Pod makes me want to listen to the Jonas Brothers while I pop off a few .50 rounds…..

  18. anonymous says:

    Does anybody else notice the typo?? It should be a .50 caliber…not 50. caliber!

  19. Lastfreethinker says:

    A 50. Caliber bullet is a 50 inch bullet. What it shouldbe is .50 caliber meaning a half inch bullet.

  20. This is Max trying to aggravate everyone says:

    HAI GAIZ! DU U NO THERS NO SUCH THENG AS A 50. CAL!?!?!!!?!ELEVENTYONE1!

    • Maxwell Silverhammer says:

      And I will now ask for forgiveness, and pray to god my horrendous post above will perturb people from posting that EXACT SAME THING again.

  21. Charlie Foxtrot says:

    Redundant statement — anyone who posts a statement “first” automatically qualifies as a fail.

  22. Jojo says:

    Sorry to be a gun nerd, but it would be .50 cal, not 50. cal.
    50. cal would be huge.

  23. tehRika says:

    Seriously do people not read the comments before commenting? :o

    You know what, I noticed that it should be .50 cal and not 50. cal!!11

    • Danbala says:

      Seriously do people not read the comments before commenting? :o

      No, they are amazingly inept at it! I mean – even if you read real slowly, you should be able to see when the comment right above this “Your Comment”-box is saying exactly the thing you are writing. But no.

      I admire the extreme tunnel vision they seem to have!

      You know what, I noticed that it should be .50 cal and not 50. cal!!11

      ZOMG OH NOES, that would be like the BIGGEST GUN hurhurhur.

      (Yeah, I know I made a post about it, but it was an honest question at the time – I am not well versed in special, particular ammunition naming conventions. :p )

  24. zandlo says:

    Just to clarify for some of you, the soldier in the pic is most likely not firing a Barret Sniper Rifle(I’m not certain but I dont think any of the army uses this), He is firing the US. ARMY MA Duece (Fifty CAL MG).

    I can speak on this, as I am currently over here wasting away in the desert of IRAQ “protecting” you Hippies and Rambos of the forums.

    • paws4thot says:

      He is firing a 0.50″ calibre maching gun. Well done dude; you’re only the 17th person to have realised this and said. If you’d actually bothered to read the comments, you’d realise that most of us figured out it was a typo, and the only ones dissing the guy who’s weapon station this is were dissing his choice of “music”.

      • Jojo says:

        Why read comments above? They’re just the masochistic ramblings of under-educated idiots and self-righteous bigots. That’s not referring to this particular post but almost everything on punditkitchen.com

        • paws4thot says:

          “Why read comments above?” If you did, you might realise that you’re making yourself look like an idiot by being the 17th person to say the exact same thing.

          Also, perhaps you should try participating in some of the debates before making sweeping coments about “under-educated idiots and self-righteous bigots”? I’m not saying that you are, but that you might realise that your statement is not only sweeping but actually wrong (despite my philosophical disagreements with some US conservatives I’ll still give them kudos points for being able to muster a soundly reasoned [even when wrong] argument). You don’t get those, since you’ve not demonstrated that you’re not an “under-educated idiot and/or self-righteous bigot”.

    • BitterButter says:

      Some of us have been to the ” Sandbox ” also- and you must be a REMF if you have time to look on here….

    • BattleCry says:

      sigh….

      The Browning M2 or MA Deuce went out of service during ‘nam IIRC, it was replaced by the M60, the BAR, and then the SAW.

      Not only that, but the M2 was Belt fed, having two loose rds was about as usesul as having 9 bucks in your checking account

      Now, I had to go look this part up…because I can tell you right now, that’s not a .50 or 50. cal. Not thick enough. I thought it might be a .308 since most bolt action rifles (hence the need for single rounds) use .308 and the Amry used to use a .308 rifle….so I thought it was probably for an M24, which uses a 7.62×51mm, which is close to a .308, but nope. If that’s a standard sized IPOD, then that’s a .50 for a Barrett.

      Difference in length between the 7.62 and the .50 is two inches….pretty easy to tell em apart.

      But now that I look at it…..that looks like the pocket IPOD…looks so small compared to the guys name tag…..eh, who knows.

      • Naoyusimi says:

        Can’t find any other cites at the moment, but I think you’re wrong about the M2HB being “out of service during ‘Nam”. From Wikipedia:

        “The Browning .50 caliber machine gun has been used extensively as a vehicle weapon and for aircraft armament by the United States from the 1920s to the present day. It was heavily used during World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, as well as during operations in Iraq in the 1990s and 2000s. It is the primary heavy machine gun of NATO countries, and has been used by many other countries as well. It is still in use today, with only a few modern improvements. The M2 has been in use longer than any other small arm in U.S. inventory.”

        • BattleCry says:

          (shrug)

          However….it can’t be a small arm and a HMG at the same time.

          Besides, the Colt 1911 has been in service since…well, just guess

          • Naoyusimi says:

            Who said it was a small arm AND an “HMG”? (I don’t know what that refers to, unless you mean “heavy machine gun”. Typically, I see it referred to as the .50 BMG [Browning Machine Gun].) All I was saying is that the weapon you referred to was still in use.

            My fiance had 4 of them. All of them were the heavy barrel type (thus, the M2HB designation), requiring a tripod mount of some sort, either the lower one or the aircraft mount.

            Then there is the .50 caliber Barrett sniper rifle, which I don’t think anyone would refer to as a “small arm” ;-) — or do they? I suppose it would be, as opposed to heavy machine guns which require mounts.

            But you were right in that a couple of loose rounds of .50 ammo would be of little use in a belt-fed .50 caliber.

          • Tanker says:

            Actully it can be both and is. The 5o is the lgest in the small arm group of weapons.

            Small arms is a term of art used by armed forces to denote infantry weapons an individual soldier may carry. The description is usually limited to revolvers, pistols, submachine guns, carbines, assault rifles, rifles, sniper rifles, squad automatic weapons, light machine guns, and sometimes hand grenades. Shotguns, general purpose machine guns, medium machine guns, and grenade launchers may be considered small arms or as support weapons, depending on the particular armed forces.

            from wikipedia

            Small arms typically do not include infantry support weapons. In the U.S. military, small arms refer to handguns or other firearms less than 20 mm in caliber, and including heavy machine guns (typically .50 caliber or 12.7 mm in U.S. service).[1] The NATO definition extends to “all crew-portable direct fire weapons of a calibre less than 50mm and will include a secondary capability to defeat light armour and helicopters.”

            The colt 1911 is NOT in sevrvise it was taken out of servise in the 80s. The M-9 9mm is now the standard side arm.

            Again STOP TALKING OUT OF YOUR ASS. the last you could do is spend 5 seconds googlig info before you make a fool out of yourself.

            • BattleCry says:

              Since we’re quoting wikipedia:
              “Due to an increased demand for M1911 pistols among Army Special Operations units, who are known to field a variety of M1911 pistols, the Army Marksmanship Unit began looking to develop a new generation of M1911s and launched the M1911-A2 project in late 2004.[9] The goal was to produce a minimum of seven variants with various sights, internal and external extractors, flat and arched mainspring housings, integral and add-on magazine wells, a variety of finishes and other options, with the idea of providing the end-user a selection from which to select the features that best fit their missions.[9] The AMU performed a well received demonstration of the first group of pistols to the Marine Corps at Quantico and various Special Operations units at Ft. Bragg and other locations.[9] The project provided a feasibility study with insight into future projects.[9] Models were loaned to various Special Operations units, the results of which are classified. An RFP was issued for a Joint Combat Pistol but it was ultimately canceled.[9] Currently units are experimenting with an M1911 platform in .40 which will incorporate lessons learned from the M1911 A2 project. Ultimately, the M1911 A2 project provided a test bed for improving existing M1911s. An improved M1911 variant becoming available in the future is a possibility.[9]”

              The 1911 will NEVER die. And I carried one in the early to mid 90’s while in uniform.
              The military seems to have forgotton the purpose of the sidearm, luckily those that fight haven’t. which is why the Colt or some variant of it is still around.

              (However, the wikipedia article does state that you can find 1911’s for $250 and up. My Ass.)

              • Tanker says:

                The key phrase i “army special operations units” meaning special forces, delta, ect. The 1911 is NOT the standard issue side arm. The M-9 is. I was, unsurprisingly, a tanker. As such sid arms are our primary weapon, not the rifle. We carried the M-9, which s admitedly not the best pistol or even close really.

                Special operation have always done thier own thing for training, uniform, and weapons. What they use and do is NOT the standard of the rest of the armed forces.

      • Tanker says:

        Wow talk out you ass much?
        The .50 cal is still in use and in fact the production of both M-2s and ammo or them has gone WAAY up.
        The weapon your thinking of is the .30 cal which was replaced by the M-60 which was in turn replaced by the M-240.

        Those most certainly ARE 50 cal and what you don’t seem to know is that whenyou load the 50 it removes a round from the belt and puts it in the chamber. So when you clear the weapon a loose 50 cal round is discharged. I had many loose 50 rounds after awhile and even carried a few on my vest like this guy for awhile

        I gunned with a 50 i speak from expeirence. You seem to have gotten you knowedge from video games and movies. Stop spaking out of your ass like you know something because you most assuredly don’t

        • BattleCry says:

          Ya got me there….I have indeed always pictured the M1919 as the M2…..don’t ask me why. Which means it’s a mistake I’ve been making since childhood.

          It’s not hard to admit you’re wrong if you’re wrong. It’s not like the internet is life or death.

    • WhoNose says:

      Putting quotation marks around “protecting” can get you in serious trouble, young man. You don’t have any doubts about our mission here, now do you?

    • Dak says:

      Well that’s funny. I was in our sniper locker just a minute ago and there were two of them. Besides, if the person is firing an M-2, what good would a couple unlinked rounds be?

  25. Naoyusimi says:

    See my link for an article from the U.S. Army site, dated Sept. 11, 2008, discussing proper headspace and timing, and injuries from improper settings of same.

  26. clk says:

    soldier probably isn’t carrying the round in his vest with intent to use it… there’s an old superstition we had in the army, i think it dates back to vietnam… you put the large round in your vest or pocket because “the big one scares away the little ones”

  27. Heather Mac says:

    Just sent this to my deployed husband. :D

  28. collegekitteh says:

    How much you wanna bet that he’s got SEVERAL Metallica songs in his IPod? Like “Seek And Destroy”?

  29. asdfghjkl; says:

    Also know as a .30 cal.

  30. ravinpink says:

    Sounds like a party I’d like to be invited to…

  31. ReannaExplosion says:

    Limp Bizkit.
    Lol.

  32. nick says:

    yeah, a dead mans party

  33. WhoNose says:

    Geez, WTF is wrong with you guys…

  34. IvansBones says:

    Trust me, there IS such as thing as someone who is both….I LOVE the ideas the real hippies had (not the hollywood version hippies), but just try to come and take my Sig from me!!!!

    I dig the idea of a party with .50 cals and iTunes; music to keepyou from getting bored in between shots!!!

  35. Savage says:

    Heh, he’s listening to Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit :P

  36. Hunter says:

    Anyone else notice that the song playing on the Ipod is “Break Stuff”?

  37. Keeper13 says:

    if this is an american soldier, then why is he wearing CADPAT?

  38. djneo says:

    First the iphone was shot, now the ipod wil revange him.

  39. Austin says:

    I love that song! LOL

  40. Ash says:

    Heh, Limp Bizkit.

  41. Wooar says:

    Technically the text itself is fail. Isn’t it supposed to be “.50 Caliber”?


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