As far as I’m concerned
As far as I’m concerned You’re all illegal aliens.
(Geronimo)
Picture by: US National Archives. Caption by: juharr via Our LOL Builder
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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST
Butt rot is a disease of plants, mostly trees, caused by fungi. The fungus attacks the moist and poorly protected undersurface of tree trunk’s thickest part (the “butt” above the root, as opposed to “top”), where the end of the stem makes contact with the soil. It may affect the roots as well, causing a disease known as root rot. It then moves up into the interior of the plant, producing a roughly conical column of dead, rotted plant matter, up to one and a half meters long in severe cases. Such an infection is likely to impair the transport properties of the xylem tissue found at the center of the stem. It also reduces the stem’s structural properties and makes the plant more vulnerable to toppling. One particularly virulent species of fungus associated with butt rot is Serpula himantioides.
AHAHAHAHAHA
…Oh. Plants.
I asked my future father-in-law what was wrong with his Rat Terrier’s tail and he said simply, “Butt Rot.”
-
Needless to say I Loled muchly.
I guess that’s better than “swamp ass”, lol.
Well played sir, well played.
+500 points.
Woohoo! I’ve made it to the fast money round!
Big bucks NO WHAMMY!
… same can’t be said for the “joke”. It’s slightly older than the Indian.
Yeah…because Indians just magically appeared here unlike all us evil white people who came from somewhere else…..
Oh wait…they came from Asia….never mind.
But they were FIRST and they didn’t slaughter anyone for the land…
Every 10,000 years, an ice age lowers the sea level and the Bering Strait would become a land bridge. So every 10,000 years, a new bunch of people would emigrate over from Siberia and possibly wipe out whoever was already here- or got wiped out themselves.
Because everything that occurred 10,000 years ago and before would be considered morally just today.
Only this time the new bunch are moving in from the south…
Maybe its time to reverse the immigration flow. Let the Amerikans in the USA move to alaska. Then Sarah Palin and her people can cross back to their friendly Neighbours in Siberia. (and then of course the siberians and mongolians would re-occupy moscow, the russians would invade poland, the polish are already invading western-europe (non-violently, so +1 for them) and the western europeans would move south, all the way into northern africa etc. etc. etc… movement is progress!!!)
10,000 years? Not possible – the world is only 5,000 years old.
I think fundies believe 6,000, actually.
Not sure though, I’m not one.
Only the extreme ones really believe that.
They believe there is a invisible man living in the clouds… They are all “the extreme” ones.
It’s “invisible sky father.” Get your insults right
meh. Atheist fundementalist crazies should be trapped on an island with their Christian equivalents for 100 years or so. Just to see what happens.
Kinkiest sex ever, I bet.
New this season on FOX: Hatefu(k Island.
LOL
I’d watch it.
Hehehe! Sounds like a hit.
There is no atheists fundamentalist. Its just lack of belief which is hard to force on others. And everything else is sold separately.
There is anti-religiousness that sometimes is rather too aggressive. I suppose that’s what’s referred to as “Atheist fundamentalism”.
That’s how I see it. Atheists who believe everyone should be atheists and if you’re not then you’re stupid/crazy. In other words, the same thing as a religious fundamentalist without the religion.
Agreed. The actions are equivalent in most every way.
I prefer “Great Invisible Disciplinarian in the Sky.” I don’t have daddy issues.
i call him zeus. he gives me cookies
Dude…don’t hide them, divide them!
aye, but only because you’re nice
*throws cookies to the crowd*
eat and be merry!
*gobbles*
SB, don’t be naughty froo said turkey sex was unmentionable
I’m sorry, there’s just something about butterballs…
seriously people. I’m a christian, but I’m not in some screwed up cult. I respect your atheistic views, even though I don’t agree with them. But please respect me and everyone else.
There was absolutely nothing in the above comments that was directly about Christianity, and nothing that was particularly offensive in general.
I think the appearance that Christians are so sensitive is really what everyone doesn’t like. Other religions have those sensitive people as well, but it really just seems to be the average Christian’s way to go about things. They just seem to have something to say about EVERYTHING.
I consider myself a Christian, and I’m just really sick and tired of hearing us complain about it all instead of letting others do their own thing.
I didn’t mean to take over your comment or anything, but it was just a good example to start with.
They believe in an invisible force, that can’t be proven to exist and is made up by man in order to explain natural occurrences.
I was talking about scientists and dark matter.
You have your opinion, and that’s okay, but acting that way doesn’t make you “holier than thou.”
Dark matter has a measurable gravitational effect on visible matter, so it has been proven to exist.
It hangs out in God’s penumbra.
No man it’s theoretical. They see an effect, and the idea of dark matter explains that.
at least they CALL it hypothetical.
tell some religious types their “God” is hypothetical and you’re likely to wind up burning on the nearest available pyre!, or stoned to death.. or hung from a tree… I’m sure there’s more.
Stoned to death… hmmm…. SB, what way you?
God oopsied.
suicide_blonde, what SAY you in re: stoned to death
Tell some evangelical “atheist” to act like a human being, though, and the fists start flying…
Sounds like a pretty good way to go if you ask me…
*tokes*
Sam: [coughs] Get outta here, Dewey!
Dewey Cox: What are y’all doin’ in here?
Sam: We’re smoking reefer and you don’t want no part of this shit.
Dewey Cox: You’re smoking *reefers*?
Sam: Yeah, ‘course we are; can’t you smell it?
Dewey Cox: No, Sam. I can’t.
Reefer Girl: Come on, Dewey! Join the party!
[takes a hit off a joint]
Sam: No, Dewey, you don’t want this. Get outta here!
Dewey Cox: You know what, I don’t want no hangover. I can’t get no hangover.
Sam: It doesn’t give you a hangover!
Dewey Cox: Wha-I get addicted to it or something?
Sam: It’s not habit-forming!
Dewey Cox: Oh, okay… well, I don’t know… I don’t want to overdose on it.
Sam: You can’t OD on it!
Dewey Cox: It’s not gonna make me wanna have sex, is it?
Sam: It makes sex even better!
Dewey Cox: Sounds kind of expensive.
Sam: It’s the cheapest drug there is.
Dewey Cox: [at a loss and out of excuses] Hmm.
Sam: You don’t want it!
Dewey Cox: I think I kinda want it.
Sam: Okay, but just this once. Come on in.
You know I sent him to hell for that, right?
Organized religion is much more specific than believing in an invisible force. That’s almost reasonable. Christians don’t believe that man was created in the image of an invisible force, they believe he was made in the image of God, who knows every hair on your head and judges all that you do. They believe that God incarnated as Jesus and that he died and resurrected and then rode into the heavens on a flaming chariot. And that one day he’ll be back to battle the Anti-Christ.
Anyone can suspect that there are forces in the universe for which we have no explanation, I think that’s just being open minded and humble/realistic about the scope of human knowledge. There’s nothing particularly religious about that.
I prefer agnosticism/atheism for a number of reasons:
1: the fact that some religious people go around telling people that even if they do good, they’ll be in trouble in the afterlife if they don’t convert.
2: The contradictions: If the bible tells us to be good to people and “Love Thy Neighbor”, then why are their people that are willing to hurt or kill other people in the name of god?
Not that I have a problem with religion.
feel free to insult me for what I said.
Prefer?
Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaahah
And your point is……………..?
Roll the die, amigo. Roll. That. Die.
“God does not play dice…” – Albert Einstein
Given that Steven Hawking (who is neither dead nor American) thinks there is a hole in General Relativity big enough to fly a warp drive starship through, maybe God does play dice?
*facepalm*
YAHTZEE!
Wow, five Yahtzees in a row. He’s good.
“God does not play dice…”
`
Mainly because nobody else will play with him, since he always wins.
`
“Dad, quit showing off!” — Jesus
Bitter troll fully supports invisable force theroy.
and wants lightsaber and cool force powers
“God does not play dice” – Nope he prefers poker, baccarat and blackjack instead
Excellent!
Nice ad-hominem, way to show your level of maturity!
Fundies believe anywhere from 10,000 – 50,000, and there are varying degrees of belief.
One thing about us Cons over here, we get to choose how whacked out we are as opposed to the one size fits all nuts on the Left
Cookie-cutter crazees
We nuts on the left are pretty varied, also. I’ve run into ‘leather is murder’ folk, ‘all heterosexual sex is rape’ types, and the ever popular ‘Jesus is a commie’. Every group needs a fringe for decoration!
All heterosexual sex is rape? What?
the seriously crazy feminazi’s believe that because a man’s penis penetrates into the woman it is a violation of her body and even if consensual it is an act of rape. i went to college with a girl like that and you could NOT have a normal conversation with her if you tried.
I love being violated. Like a parking meter.
*tears apart couch looking for quarters*
But all it takes to violate a parking meter is to hang around longer than you paid for. I thought for sure you’d prefer something more interactive in your violations.
Well. Yeah. Interaction is good.
And I’m telling ya, they never hang around longer than you paid for. Geez.
Sounds to me like those parking meters are prostitutes.
What if I do it myself? That okay?
NO!!!!
according to the girl i talked to, i don’t think so. she had issues with tampons too. like i said… normal conversation wasn’t happening at all.
NO MEANS NO!
NOW GOOD DAY!
Fvck that shit. That girl sounds like she has unresolved issues she needs to seek therapy for.
Sorry Jane. It’s more than one female. I think Andrea Dworkin wrote a whole book on that theory. And I have run into a few supporters both in college and at conferences. I tend to move in the other direction…
jane… do i even need to say that she was a butch lesbian who wore flannel? i’m not trying to be stereotypical, she honestly said those things and wore that stuff.
VG – i’m not liberal but i can definitely agree with you on the “not giving up the BF” agenda. although, i’ve been tempted to see just how freaked out she would be if she knew that acquaintances of hers were into sub/dom type stuff… with the woman being the sub.
TOS, I think I would pay to watch that conversation! Oh geez!!
No no NO! It was OPPONENTS of feminism who wrote that.
@God. Those gals don’t believe in you, dude. They only worship the Goddess. Or Goddesses, or something like that…
From WIKI:
Dworkin rejected that interpretation of her argument,[57] stating in a later interview that “I think both intercourse and sexual pleasure can and will survive equality”[58] and suggesting that the misunderstanding came about because of the very sexual ideology she was criticizing: “Since the paradigm for sex has been one of conquest, possession, and violation, I think many men believe they need an unfair advantage, which at its extreme would be called rape. I do not think they need it.”[58]
Hey, I know a lot of butch lesbians that like the strap-on, which sort of ruins her point of view.
I’m glad that Dworkin rephrased herself. Unfortunately, that interpretation still persists in the odder by-ways of political discussion.
VG – the only reason that i haven’t brought that up to her is because i really don’t want to get involved in her insanity.
god/DT – it may be that she didn’t coin the phrase/term/concept but she’s definitely become a bit of a rallying point for women who actually believe it. in any case, i don’t care who came up with it… people believe it and that’s more than disturbing enough for my tastes.
Ah well, her loss, our gain!
heh, heh, heh…
OK, now where did I put the soft ties and the mask?
Ah yes… Dworkin… I’ve had the disprivilege of reading some of the forums that support that thinking. It was interesting to say the least.
Jane: For the lesbian that wants it all [LINK] (not necessarily safe for work)
thank you…
please drive thru…
You know what’s really sad? Wide acceptance of that 6000 year figure is fairly recent.
I read a history of geology (including the discovery of the Earth’s age and plate tectonics and all that stuff), and some of the initial discoveries were made by guys who were ministers and priests. Religious guys used to do a lot of scientific fieldwork, and even they figured the Earth was at least tens of millions of years old. The fact that it’s about 4.5 billion years old has only been known for about 60 to 70 years.
Modern evangelical Christianity even breaks from its *own* past traditions.
Uh…The earth is billions of years old. Didn’t you attend science class?
ROFLMAO! Oh you sweet little naive lambikins, you.
*pinches frosty cheek*
God Gooses Frost. Film at 11.
God had that put in the Bible to weed out the morons.
Having a Cherokee grandmother, a Creek grandmother and a Cherokee Great grandmother, I say this. There were many wars between the tribal peoples. Many people killed over territories, over horses, over pride.
Yeah, but without WMD’s!
You don’t consider a warrior on a horse with a bow a WMD? They were pretty efficient.
True, but they didn’t have the same effect as a nuke.
Indians: The slow and the tedious nuke.
And that was the laugh I needed to truly start my day. Thank you, you’re a saint and a hero to this Dark Dragon God.
Sorry!! You’re wrong on all counts!! There were wars over horses, BUT only after the Spanish began to explore America. The horse was introduced in Indian Tribes after the Pueblo Indians raided a Spanish settlement in the South, along with prisoners they captured many horses. The Indians found the horse to be an effective form of transport and even better a weapon. This began the Indians love affair with the horse. There were no horses native on the American continent before the Spanish arrived. The Indians then bred the horses they had as well as raiding other settlements for further horses, eventually becoming horse mounted warriors rather than normal infantry.
The Truth-
I think your reply is misplaced.
Don’t ever call DWN wrong again, or I break your wrists. He is the only other dragon I’ve ever met, and the only dragon I’ve ever heard of who isn’t mentally retarded.
TROGDOOOOR!
In this case “The Truth” is correct; horses are not indiginous to North America, but were introduced by the European explorers, robbers and settlers.
Actually The Truth is completely correct. I remember seeing something about this on one of those old HBO (at least I think it was HBO, I could be wrong) documentaries about either the Indians or the Wild West, and the voiceover quoted something said by a Indian (can’t remember who) who said (for the life of me I can’t remember the quote exactly, so this is a summary) – “Before the settlers came our world was our village, after we obtained horses, our world stretched to the horizon”.
And “truth” missed that I didn’t say it happened 100% before Europeans immigrated to America. They fought wars and all had all kinds of conflicts before there were horses, and most certainly after.
Naw, they just slaughtered to get people’s stuff.
That we know about. There are some odd bone finds here and there. Not enough to build a solid hypothesis yet, though. The TV show Numb3rs even used it as a idea for an episode. It’s an interesting idea.
Umm…. Yha they did ever hear of the Aztecs
You need to study history.
1) They were not first
2) They not only slaughtered those who were here first, they also slaughtered each other.
Actually, if you ask them, they did. Their creation stories all took place here in North America.
Many of the more traditional American Indians get very offended when people talk about their ancestors crossing the Bering land bridge.
Darn Creationists!!!
Kind of like when you ask a Japanese person about the migration from Korea.
They have a right to their creation myth, of course, but they can deal.
Well said.
Despite the other harsh responses.
To them I would also ask, do you have the same opinion on the Australian Aboriginals? And their worse treatment/slaughter?
Ever hear of the “Big Lie” idea?
Seriously, there is some archaeological evidence to support the theory that Indians were invaders themselves, and precious little pre-European invasion archaeology being done in North America now.
Actually the Japanese get even rattier if you ask them about the Ainu, who are the indigenous Caucasian people who live on the northern Island of Japan (can’t remember what that is?? Is it Hokkaido??) because the Japanese believe themselves to be the only people who have lived in Japan.
Can you be an alien if you were born here?
Only if you looked like Amy Winehouse…
Well way to just assume Golem from LOTR is an alien
I figure that Golem is like an albino cave newt. Am I wrong?!
A schizophrenic, obsessive-compulsive, kleptomaniac, quadripedal, pseudo-mammal albino cave newt with dilating pupils.
And it’s “Gollum.” Or “Smeagol.” What have you.
I think calling him Smegma, is eerily appropriate….
Creepy AND biological! Can I steal that?
Steal away!
You’re a science teacher and you’ve never heard of smegma??
Not as a character in LOTR!
Whew! I was a little worried there…
I think Smegma was used in the parody BORED OF THE RINGS by Harvard Lampoon. Plagiarism win!
Nope. Smegma may have been used by the Harvard Lampoon folks in another parody, but Gollum’s character in Bored of the Rings was named Goddam.
I thought he was originally a hobbit before the ring corrupted him.
YOU WIN!
OMG!!! WHAT DO I WIN??!!
Well…I’ve got a sandwich bag filled with David Hasselhoff’s chest hair, 3 valium, and a used harmonica. The choice is yours!
*does game show hostess display wave*
…behind door #2 we have… a bronzed set of Vanna’s fake nails, Alex Trebek’s toupee, and Chuck Woolery’s surgically-removed penile implant…
and behind door number 3 we’ve got… A BRAND NEW (in 1983) CAR!!!!!
with FACTORY AIR (in the tires)!!!!
Hey, still got those valiums? I could sure use one.
He was one of the river folk. Basically the equivalent of A New Yorker (Frodo) vs a Mississippian (Smeagol)
Still a nasty little hobbitsses.
Well… he was from Mississippi….
the actual race of hobbits that he belonged to was the “stoor” race. frodo was more of the “harfoots” race. the stoors were the only race of hobbits to be comfortable on the water using boats and fishing and the like. from the definitions that tolkien made it seems as if the bree hobbits are more like stoors than harfoots, but still a cross of both.
/nerd
I’ve never read Lord of the Rings.
I’m Lord of the Cock Rings..
You’re a dirty, dirty mermaid. Not that it’s a problem.
I really am. Life is more enjoyable this way.
If we’re all illegal aliens because of the ethnicity of our ancestors (they were European, rather than Asian), you’re saying Geronimo judged people based on their ethnic heritage.
So, you’re calling Geronimo a racist.
No, I think the point of the caption has more to do with Europeans coming over here and devastating established civilizations through conquest, duplicity, and genocide.
Isn’t that why people resent/fear illegal aliens so much? Because they come in droves, take take take, and threaten the current racial and cultural composition of America?
What goes around comes around.
Well, Geronimo did NOT vote for Obama, so that means he’s a Racist!!!!!!
And your comment means you’re an idiot.
as well as your comment.
Yours too.
And yours!
*shakes head sadly* I can’t believe I fell for that.
they were here first, and then got fudge-packed by the Great White Stepfather
you’d be pissed off too, if you came home from Mexico and found your wife and three kids murdered..
I was and they did!
Wait, who traveled to Mexico? This confuses me.
Geronimo..
had been to Mexico on a trading journey and came home to find his wife and kids dead at the hands of the Spaniards…
be enough to pi$$ me off for a few years…
“The Outlaw Josey Wales” is loosely based on the story
Actually,Geronimo was Chiracahua,a type of Mexican Indian.From South of where the Mexican-American border is now.He didn’t have to go to Mexico,he was allready there.And it wasn’t Spaniards that wiped out his ancestral villiage,it was the Mexican Army.Like the Yaqui,the Chiracahua didn’t want to be Mexican citizens.They allready belonged to their own Nation.
I lived in Mexico for a while.. Good food. Though I can’t say I really approved of having refried beans with my pancakes.
Everyone is an an illegal alien, except for Israelis who were given their land by G*D.
God and people in tanks.
+50
L O L !
Every sane person knows there’s no such thing as a god.
Shut up.
I agree. Shut up Frank. And this @sshole Jay Ray.
I also agree.
People think it’s bad when theists try to impose their religion on atheists (which it is), but no one cares when atheists won’t stop making comments like Frank’s.
Christians won’t stop either.
Am I imagining things, or is this guy wearing a flowery blouse?
Oh, well that makes it okay then…wait, what?
Atheists deny that atheism is a religion…But,if that’s so,why is it so necessary for them to convert us to their way of thinking?Why do they work so hard to make us turn away from our way of thinking?..Jesus taught that we are to “leave them be” when they do not heed the words of God.Why can’t they return the favor and leave us be,when we do not heed the words of non-God?..
THANK YOU.
Shut up too.
ORLY? Guess we’ll just see about that, won’t we?
*sends Outlook meeting reminder to Sigmund Freud*
Silly Frank….everyone knows Clapton is God. Well…was anyway with Mayall and Cream.
If Clapton was God, he’d never have asked “would you know my name… if I saw you in heaven.”
Just sayin’.
You can’t beat that logic.
Wellll…..might. You know, just to see if we’re on the ball with all that? He’s always looking for the guys who went around writing,”Pete Green is better than God”, on those UK walls. The Clapton God is a jealous and vengeful one.
No, no, no. Research & polls have indicated that it’s Bowie who is God.
I thought Bowie was the goblin king or something?
That’s God enough for some people.
With a sock!
Exactly. The Religious are insane and nothing they say should ever be considered as a rational thought as through their own admission of being religious are unable to separate fact from fiction. Religion and the mindless fools that follow it are truly a plague upon the entire human race and have truly been the most awesome and devastating weapon of mass destruction this planet has ever seen. There has been no Political Leader, Army, Bomb, or Virus that has even come close to the sheer death toll caused by Religion. As a matter of FACT the only thing that has ever topped the deaths of Religion was the six mile wide meteorite that slammed into the earth killing everything on it some 65 million years ago, thats it, nothing else has ever come close.
Unlike other mental illnesses, Religion mimics that of a viral infection, as it, if left unchecked will spread like wildfire infecting everything uneducated in its path. See, It’s very difficult to convince an educated person that there is an invisible man living in the clouds, this is why children are injected with Religion at a young age. Their innosense and lack of knowledge of how the world works leaves them defenceless against the attacks of Religious infection often resulting in a devastating lifelong sickness that leaves the infected indoctrinated with a mindset that has taught them to reject fact in favor of fiction. This way the infected never becomes educated and loses faith as it always rejects anything thats logical as an attack upon their God by some unseen demon in the night. That person then grows up, had children of their own and looks forwards to infecting their children with the sickness as well.
Religion and those who follow it must be stopped, at any cost.
Please do not respond to me.
I am clearly batsh!t insane, and have failed to avail myself of a post-birth abortion.
Thank you, and sieg heil, muthafukka.
AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every single muthafukka in the room
Oh I blew this so so badly *weeps openly*
Third time:
Wang-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively, have to wang every single muthfukka in the room.
Whooey what a long day sheesh.
*perks up* – blew?
Hey Eddie – does the tongue swirl go in the other direction
Down Under?
OMFG!!!ROFLMAO!! I’m choking to death on my own tongue…
*Thinks* – Yes, but not in New Zealand..
FU(king kiwis anyway ROFBMAO!!
(That’s braying. I sound like a fu(king donkey! Not sure why this is so goddam funneh but IT IS!!!
It could be ‘Baaaaa-ing’ as well.. you know what they say about New Zealand – Where men are men and the sheep are afraid.
We also say that about Montanans!
Thanks for the laugh. It’s been a day.
does the tongue swirl go in the other direction
Down Under?
`
???
I thought they were all down under?
*puzzles*
Oh, no, wait — they’re all Down THERE.
My bad.
At least your able to admit it. But its never too late, load that gun and put it in your mouth before you can infect anyone else.
Sieg Heil? Hitler was a Catholic fool.. not an Atheist.
muthafukka? Ignorance..
Admit what? That someone forgot to chlorinate the gene pool and you crawled out of the stagnant end?
Easy peasey.
You’re still an ass maggot. Stop breathing, please. You’re wasting valuable oxygen that could be used by real people.
that air put to better use then you breathing…like arm farts!
You’re so adorable.
Does being non-religious like you mean that I no longer have to use punctuation, grammar, and know how to spell? And also be an idiot? Because that would certainly be less stressful……
I don’t know. I’m sure he works quite hard at it. Look how good he’s doing.
Good job monkey!
No, froo. I’m not religious and I use those things. Though, the jury is still out on the idiot part *looks woefully at police record*
And it’s not less stressful.
Aaaaah, the tolerance of the extremist atheist. Almost reminds you of the Catholic Inquisition. Ironic.
Iconic.
Stereophonic.
High colonic.
Psionic.
super sonic
Hydroponic.
What are you trying to say? That I’m high? YOU DON’T KNOW ME! YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE!!!*
*credit J. St. Clair
Histrionic. ^^
Gin and Tonic
That’s moronic…
You’d have to credit a coworker I had once who was an elderly lady and would say that occasionally.
She’s sardonic!
IT’S GREASED LIGHTNING!
Bionic?
Cryonic.
Gin and tonic.
Gettin’ bubonic.
Smokin’ chronic.
Now laconic.
this thread has bubonic
Ultrasonic!
tectonic.
Plutonic.
Hedgehog, Sonic the
Quadraphonic, baby!
Pour me another tall one *hic*
No one is ever allowed to mention Sonic the Hedgehog in my presence again. Am I understood? AM I UNDERSTOOD??? *curls up into a ball and cries*
NOBODY expects the atheist inquisition!
You say that as if Religion was something to be tolerant of? Your right, i am intolerant of Religion.
You would never argue for a Parents right to Physically Rape their children. So why would you argue for their right to mentally rape their children?
Infecting children with religion is one of the most wicked and torturous things that could ever be done. This is not something to love, this is not something to protect, this is something that needs to die.. Religion needs to die.
Show us on this Jesus doll where Father touched you, sweetie.
You’re comparing something that millions of people find inspiration from to rape? You are sick bitch, you know that? Did Jesus pimp slap you as a kid or something?
bitter troll can see jesus in big purple suit with lots of gold chains, huge wide brimed hat and cane…and cain…micheal cane..cause jesus thinks he rocks
Jesus loves everyone. Except the hos. He’s got no love for the hos.
bitch better have mah money…takeing micheal cane to brunch
Don’t worry, Michael Caine, I can turn water into beer.
i will take two microwave burritos and a bag of cheetos..feed an entire village.
lo i shall turn this water into colt 45..gets it every time….
He’s having brunch with Lando too?
Lando is smooth…how could you not want to have brunch with him?
I’d like a beer.
You, sir, are a douche.
I SAID GOOD DAY!
But suici…..
I SAID GOOD DAY!!!
May The Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you.
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHZAHHA *stops to catch breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
you’re cute. can i take you home and keep you as a pet? are you house broken or do you use a litter box?
At least the guy isn’t damning him or anything. He seems to honestly just wish this guy well on his path of differing opinion.
If he can do that than it shouldn’t be a stretch to assume he’s house broken.
i like that logic.
yet Shortright still wears Depends…..
I’m sorry, all heard from your post was “please forcibly insert rabid gerbils into my anus while I am blowing a syphilitic elephant.”
Anyone care to translate otherwise?
That’s because you hear it at home all the time, child.
Could you pop the cumbubble BEFORE talking, please?
No, no, DT, he’s typing. We’re supposed to wonder how he can watch what he’s typing while he has that cock in his mouth.
My bad. I could have SWORN I heard:
WHABLURBSLURPGARBL from this one…
He may have typed that accidentally when the other guy grabbed his hair, but I think he backspaced before sending.
Hmmm….methinks Eric and Deep Thought are both really MegaBob- same obnoxious person !
My name’s not Bob, but I am mega. I’ll give you that much.
Mine’s name is Bob.
How rude……………………………………………. you shouldn’t assume someone’s a child.
YEAH! Julia is NOT my mother!!!
actually, i’m wearing a g-string. if you’re going to insult me at least get it remotely right and use something along the lines of “hooker”, “prostitute”, “stripper” or something like that.
DT and eric, the drool will harm your keyboards.
I’m a bit confused here; why would calling you a stripper be an insult?
because i’m not? i dunno really. i’d like to be as limber as some of the strippers i’ve met.
i was more just playing off of the underwear choice. trying to come up with something semi insulting based off a g-string. *shrugs*
I didn’t mean that I thought that you were one; just that I think it’s a valid job choice for someone with the body and athleticism.
if you thought i was one, i’d totally play it up. it’d be fun!
i’ve got a decent body but i tend to be hypercritical of myself…
*judges for self*
HAWT. Now mount that stripper pole, my child…
aww, thanks god.
I am.
*going to hell for blasphemy*
blasphemy, you say??
this is my favorite form of blasphemy, ever…. {http://loltheist.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/jesusymca.jpg}
I haven’t read a single word past “g-string.”
*takes off shortright’s g-string with teeth*
I think you’re way hot. I can teach you how to be limber. *beckons*
How would -YOU- know what she wears? She would never deign to take her clothes off in front of you, you’re far too much of a complete failure at life.
Even if she were a stripper, you couldn’t pay her enough to touch you, you STD ridden, pus filled sack of maggot feces.
I’m impressed. That’s a damn fine string of insults. *wipes tear*
Anyone that bitter must lead a very sad little life.
Another one with Poison Control on speed dial in case of an accidental tongue bite….
“Hello, Poison Control? I swallowed it again. No, no, not that. I know that’s not poisonous.”
Cool. I haven’t seen that design before.
911, yeah it’s me. . . . Yes, yeah it’s in a window this time.
GIGGI-TY!!!
and atheist dyslexics claim there’s no such thing as a Dog, either..
You owe me one shamwow. And if my laptop screen goes bad, it’s your fault too.
Here Justa, use my shamwow. Oh, I also have this handy tapper thing that chops nuts, and prevents you from having boring tuna.
Every sane god knows there’s no such thing as a person.
LMAO
I suppose that would be true… if you conveniently ignore the history of the world and invalidate any other creation myth that grants land to a specific people.
ackshully, Israel = just another Jewish ghetto, albeit advocated by the European PTB (google “Zionism and the British Mandate” or “the Jewish question”).
Fitting, however, that you mention this in a “lol” referencing a disenfranchised First Nation… (and yeah, I realize you were being sarcASStic)
sorry, reply nesting FAIL.
Sorry!! Wrong on all Counts!! Israel is actually a much smaller version of the original Israel before it was invaded by the Romans and then by the Arabs (who then claimed to be the original owners of the land, but were simply another bunch of invaders) It was the Arabs who claim to be Palestinians, when Palestine is nothing to do with Israel, in fact it comes from the name of the Roman Province. (Oh and I’m forgetting about the Ottaman Turh invaders as well!!)
You can only say that when you have the biggest gun to back it up.
I have a really big gun. Also, my rifle is fairly large as well.
This one’s for fighting this one’s for fun
You can tell a great deal about a man by the size of his weapon
Can I stay? I’m part Cherokee.
That part can stay.
The Cherokee part can stay, the rest has got to go tho
I r slow
It is ok, there are areas set aside for you to play with children. Just look for the signs.
Stop enabling the molesters
Damn, I’m not sure which part it is.
Part Cherokee, eh?…let us guess, 1/4 Cherokee on your grandma’s side, right? Because, srsly, as often as i hear that i have to wonder where in the world this secret storehouse of extra Cherokee Grandmas must be.
You can pick one up at your local Jeep dealership.
How are the warranties on those things?
BWAHAOAOAHAHH’heta.. *hic*
Uhhmmm *something not dirty something not dirty something not dir
Five years of five thousand batches of chocolate chip cookes????
Well, I don’t know, there were tons of Cherokee in the Carolinas. And a few other places. 400+ years of white people hanging around, sooner or later SOMEONE is going to notice those lovely eyes.
Still wondering where all of the Cherokee grandfathers went. Or were all of those female ancestors blind to the handsome menfolk in the neighborhood? –OK, maybe the grandmas passed off the results as ‘a throwback to great grandpa Thorston’!
Hey, technically, Gramps was half Cherokee/German. So it figures she would look to someone accepting of that, back when it was frowned upon. As for others, maybe too many brokeback teepees?
Ok, I need that shamwow back. Lemonade isn’t good for screen visibility!
All kidding aside, great gramps married a Cherokee at a time when it wasn’t hated, but not socially acceptable. It figures that he would seek a tribal woman, as the family would not be so disapproving.
I don’t know all of my mothers history, but she had so much Cherokee in her that she looked like the stereotypical Pocahontas. (the real one was ugly) She was one of the few people in Germany with a suntan. I get a nice farmers tan, but my legs are so white, I don’t need a light to visit the bathroom at night.
Actually the real one was a Powhattan and was 12 years old.
lemon party!
if you’re not on a tribal role, STFU about your “1/4 Cherokee twice removed on my Grandmothers side”
because it’s *****BULL$HIT*****
We will have to do DNA testing to verify. 1/2 the U.S. population claims to be part Cherokee you know..
Well, the Cherokee were known for their fu(kin’……..
Meh. Not particularly funny. Next please.
Agreed. So far I don’t even feel like jumping in on many of the comments for this one either.
Except the part where there we no immigration laws when we came over. But hey, I like your idea of saying if something isn’t against the law at some point in history, it never should be. What fun!
Huh?
I think he’s insinuating that the genocide and forced relocation visited upon the First Americans was their own fault, because they didn’t write their dislike for being stolen from and killed into a law book.
I could be wrong, though.
“no immigration laws”? I’m pretty sure decisions by the Council of Elders, or whatever the native tribes had are a pretty good approximation of case law, and I’m absolutely sure that there were such decisions forbidding the white man from taking possession of the land, which were promptly ignored.
And we have absolutely no record of this proto-government because…
We do. In fact the founding fathers based a lot of their work on the ruling bodies of the Iroquois tribes.
Can you give a link please. I’m just interested cause I’ve never heard that.
I’ve heard it plenty, Ay- mostly that Benjamin Franklin was a big fan on the Iroquois ruling system and tried to model our government off them.
That’s just what I learned in school, of course.
Shows how badly my high school needed new text books.
Ours described the civil rights movement as “trouble ahead”
Mine stopped short of the civil rights period, completely. As did my teachers–as if it never happened. *sigh*
Civil what?
We ended with WWII.
So did we. Repeatedly. But I’m older than you, so I would figure you might have heard about JFK and Vietnam? Guess I was too optimistic?
Yeah well, my history teacher was a lazy jerk and I had to have Charlie take time off of work to come in (in uniform!) and ask him to stop sexually harassing me. So in light of that… no. Good thing for me both Charlie and Mrs. Foxtrot love history so my formal education in that regard was a technicality anyway.
My so-called HS ‘world history teacher’ was the wrestling coach, and assistant football coach. So he would be reviewing the last game/match with the class, while I was trying to read about the Byzantine empire or something.
The male teachers already knew my father was a living, breathing viking, so no harassment at least!
Sadly, none of the female teachers at my school sexually harassed me.
Wait…*thinks back* never mind, that’s actually a good thing. *gulp*
My AP US History teacher (who also doubled as the soccer coach) told us (I’ll NEVER forget this as long as I live) that slavery in the U.S. “wasn’t that bad”.
Then went on to tell us how the slaves had house (he drew one with two floors!) and that they “got food”. That the “really bad stuff” happened in Caribbean.
Ouch.
I’m sorry, but I find that humourous. Not the slavery part, but the ignorance part.
Your teacher sounds like an a$$…. that said, if I was in a position where I had to be a slave and had to choose between, say, Georgia and the Caribbean, I would much rather work in a cotton field than a sugar cane field, so I can almost see the point there.
From a slaves point of view.. But from a rich white.. hell even from a poor white person’s point of view it’s fu(cked up.
I can’t really speculate what your History teacher meant by saying slavery wasn’t that bad, but it reminded me of a movie I saw with the Yes Men. They’re an improv group who spoof corporations, and in one of the presentations in their movie, they actually sat down and did the math, and demonstrated that it’s cheaper for a company to have minimum wage employees than it would be for the company to own slaves. Their audience didn’t know what to make of it, and to tell you the truth, I’m not sure, either.
He said that too. That slave-owing was expensive. I’m sorry, but wtf? WHY WOULD I CARE HOW EXPENSIVE IT WAS TO BUY, OWN, & RAPE MY ANCESTORS COACH SWANN!?
He meant it was “not bad” like “If we returned to it today it would probably be awesome!”
It was not bad “they had food, & shelter! and didn’t have to pay for it!”
Like that.
Mine from last year says that Germany is still separated and that Russia still controls Berlin. When the book is twice as old as the student, there has been a problem.
Germany isn’t separtated anymore?! ZOMG I’ve been lied to!! *crawls out of box*
All we really know is that Franklin and others had close contact with the Iroquois — we don’t know how much of it was out of admiration versus for protection or some other reason. (Franklin was a horny old bugger — maybe he just liked Indian tail.)
And turkeys. For that is the love that dare not speak its name.
Perhaps — but it’s a ridiculous stretch to say that the Iroquois confederacy not only had thoroughly Western versions of property law and property ownership (in fact, we know that’s not true), but also that they had modern attitudes towards their sovereignty, their borders, and immigration.
When brazzy says he’s “absolutely sure”, it sounds like he means “I can’t fathom something other than a non-Western nation-state style of government”.
Wait, there are other kinds of governments? *boggle*
Heh, there was even this one time where the Supreme Court ruled that Native Americans could keep their land, and even that was promptly ignored, quite boastfully by President Jackson.
Hmmmmm……In your picture, you look suspiciously like ” Joe the Plumber”. Are you?
No, it’s Mr. Fu(kin’ Clean!
*cue froo*
Hey hey hey, now, I was sleeping! Did you have to wake me up??? For this???????
Let’s ask Dr. Fu(king Phil….
How’s theyat werkin’ fer yew?
I say call Benny Fu(king Hill….
The white man gave Indians blankets laced with smallpox, massacred them, broke every treaty they signed, and stole their land. And let’s not forget fu(kin F Troop.
I personally would LIKE to forget fu(kin F Troop. *shudder*
But Indian fights were colorful sights,
and nobody took a lickin’ !
Didn’t we just have this one last month? Or something so similar as to be practically plagiarism?
The “Border Patrol” one? Same thing, but not all that similar.
But does he have proof that he was born here? *tinfoil hat*
Yes we are aliens… but look what we have for you…all we have for you is this alcohol, not sure if you will like it….
and blankets, don’t forget the blankets. Ignore the coughing.
*coughs twice in a row* seems like payback time though. Once upon a time we brought the common flu to mexico, but last year they decided to return it
“We don’t have the receipt. Can we get a Wal-Mart gift card for it?”
Wal-Mart’s too pricey. How about a $.99 store coupon, turbo?
Too bad, you shouldda fought harder!
hey they have casino’s now…………i sure wish i had something to do with all that oppression, conquering,and all that other crap. boo friggin who, live today, it’s your character that makes you who you are not your ancestors. damn crybabies.
Completely incoherent and idiotic.
Post it in your diary.
Don’t you mean “diary’s”? It’s the same as “casino’s”.
Boo friggin who?
Boo friggin YOU!
I missed that one first time around — that’s brilliant!
I’m starting to wonder if scale is a performance artist…
I caught that too, but couldn’t come up with a witteh enuff retort.
*chugs coffee*
Good work.
*snort* That’s exactly the smile I needed on my face before going to work. Good one, dude.
Ty-gor to the rescue!
+25 points.
Scaleman, that was poken like a dipsh*t who wasn’t taken from his parents as a child and sent to a boarding school where he was punished for using his native language and generally alienated from his own culture. In some places, that crap didn’t stop until my little brothers and sisters were school-age and those of us that did go through it still remember. So all the anti-immigrant folks should really quit their bitching unless their kids are being taken away from them, FORCED to learn Spanish and given a lot of editorial BS passed off as education telling them that before they were subjugated by the benevolent Mexican government that they were just mindless, godless savages.
So unless you loosen immigration laws to allow everyone, we all must go. Now if only that idea got into Congress…
Except Native Americans and those who migrated legally, or whose ancestors migrated legally by our current laws. Yes, that means that descendants of anyone up to 1882 would have to go, because before 1882, everyone migrated the same way that so-called “illegal immigrants” are arrested for migrating now.
Except the slaves. That “migration” was a little different.
sarcasm…….some people just don’t get it. as for my typing who cares? really.
I DO! YOU’RE A DISGRACE! IF YOU LOVE ME AT ALL KILL YOURSELF NOW TO SALVAGE WHAT’S LEFT OF THE FAMILY HONOR!
*sobs*
I love you, DT.
*mumbles*
like…there’s…emotions…and….stuff…HEY! A shiny!
*runs away*
If it makes you feel better, DT, I don’t love you.
Fu(k you very much for that, Eric!
I love you, but only in a Platonic way, not an Erotic way (yet anyway).
Dude, wasn’t Plato Greek?
J/k lol
Yes, and so was Eros.
Anything to further the emotional repression of the male gender!
Hmmph, yeah, how ’bout them Yankees, anyway?
As for your typing and complete lack of grammatical accuracy, it’s how YOU choose to represent yourself. I got the sarcasm, but if you’re going to talk like a 12-year-old, then you’re going to be treated like one. Sorry, but that’s how it works.
*sniffle* You make an old man proud, boy.
And he makes young boys…. old…
He’s a priest?!!!
that’s why i like talking face to face. i’ve never been able to “represent” myself on these chat rooms, however, point still stands when you work in the “real” world it’s not your background that determines what you produce it’s your willingness not to compromise your values,to bust your ass everyday and to make sure that those that work with you are better for having known you. i have to go and “produce” now. i’ll wait with “baited” breath for your comments.
You’re so wrong. The informal motto where I work is:
Championing Mediocrity: Get Back in Your Place.
FTW!
Once again. The reply button makes your madness that much easier to follow. Well, not really, but it at least keeps it all one place.
I think I’ve figured him out… he’s in marketing:
Real produce. Represent baited!
Pfft. If he was in marketing, he wouldn’t produce anything real.
*hangs head*
i’m in marketing. shit, that must be why i’m on here all the damned time…
And have you produced anything real? I didn’t think so. Busted!
And hey, I do a lot of the merchandising for my store’s tool department. I move stuff from one part of the department to another until my manager decides she doesn’t like it there and makes me move it somewhere else. I speak of productivity in my store only in the theoretical sense.
*snicker* you said “tool”.
In my time here I’ve only messed up using the reply button once. I promptly went back and pointed out my own error so everyone was clear. Why do so many people have a problem with this concept?
Quarantine!
The reason you can’t represent yourself correctly here, Scale, is probably because you’re not hitting the reply button. See, most of the lurkers here have had a lobotomy on at least 97% of their brains, therefore, cannot follow a multi-nest conversation.
The only thing that comes from proper grammar is pompous arrogance… and coherent speech. If you like words so much read a book, or become a journalist(dieing profession).
I studied it in college, does that count?
I took journalism in the 7th grade.
*in a pompously arrogant voice*
You mean dying, right? You spelled it wrong you big stoopit! HA HA YOU DUM GUY!!!!
Actually, it used to be a dieing profession.
Now it’s digital.
Print is dead.
I know. I almost quit driving into town when the PI folded earlier this year. I really miss ink-stained fingers, and whatever will kids do for a first job now? Sell meth?
*sadness
*
I live in the meth capital of the country. It’s not a first job here. It’s a career. I called the street I used to live on a meth strip mall.
Wow. I have no idea what it even looks like (I’ve never even googled it, I know, I know) and I can’t even see my nearest neighbor’s house. Internet’s pretty slow (line of site from a butte) but otherwise you can’t beat living here.
I feel for you, man. I’d go totally postal in those environs.
I moved from that area about 3 years ago. They call the whole county the meth capital, but where I am now is much better. It was just a really icky place to live. What’s sad but still oddly funny are the billboards saying “Is your neighbor running a meth lab? Call blah-blah-blah”
BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m laughing at the billboard thing.
I think I live in the heroin capital, sadly.
I mean seriously, don’t you think people should KNOW who to call if your neighbor is running a meth lab?
…DUH. You call your neighbor’s and blackmail them.
*facepalm*
N E I G H B O R S
You live in Gastonia NC?
You mean there’s another meth capital of the country? I thought it was Jefferson County, MO.
I thought it was just all of AZ.
So is fur.
Fur is digital?
*dying?
/facepalm
I had an aunt in the dieing profession. Stained her fingers terribly.
Nope, sorry, and thanks for playing.
That’s “dyeing.”
My grandfather was in tool and die. Worked for American Can corp, which was eventually inhaled by that joke called Citigroup.
It was a JOKE DT. Sarcasm…look it up.
Chill dude — I made that mistake once myself.
Btw… can I just say… Thanks a lot for Nancy Pelosi…. thanks a lot ASS..
You can’t blame God for Pelosi. That was some trickery brought about by Satan. God had no idea.
Don’t blame me!! She burst fully formed from a fermenting mixture of demon offal and Cerberus spunk!
Satan sent her to the one place even he doesn’t dare go: the federal government.
HEE HEE… if she was his most hated minion she’d head up the IRS…
Hey now, no need to go about slandering poor Satan.
*sniff* poor poor Satan.
BTW Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?? He sold his soul to Santa
chief diamond phillips?
Too bad this joke was on Mind of Mencia a few years ago, huh?
That doesn’t count cause Mencia has NEVER had an original thought.
Does that mean that Mencia… IS the internetz!?
It means Mencia has likely written about 80% of the LOLs I end up voting down.
Like I needed another reason to dislike him.
lol-I like this caption!
But im still not sure why ppl shout his name when they jump out of an airplane.
Because you would sound like a wimp shouting out Custard??
Custer. Custard is similar to pudding.
If your parachute malfunctions, custard would be a good description for the result!
Delicious, delicious blood pudding.
The perfect dessert after I’ve been out hunting and bringing back trolls that are almost always well-done.
Mmmm, I KILL THEM WITH FIRE.
Link.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, guys.
We need more troll control.
Fire…
This made me laugh.
My thought exactly!
Who has custard? I love custard.
Link for you. Or anyone needing a good laugh.
You people are all NUTS. I love you. Except for the dude who was dumb enough to believe SMEGMA was a charter in LOTR.
character*******
must wake up…….
Not dumb, punning. You do know what a pun is, right? Also, Froufroo isn’t a dude!
nor is she a hobbit.
Although she may be hobbit-forming!
FORM OF !!! HOBBIT!!!
SHAPE OF!!! BUCKET OF WATER!!!-sighs-…worst power ever
She’s a pretty lady. A pretty, sparkly lady.
I like tuna I like liver
Meow Mix Meow Mix please deliver
Cake and sunshine
Coke and moonshine
I like things that make my brain hurt!
I really actually dont like the redskins. They just stay in the rez and eat their flatbread.
Hey!! I’ve got reservations about your last comment
Best cap ever. Printed and framed.
Notice he’s holding a white man’s gun.
Yeah, brought to you by Chinese gunpowder.
I’m Rando, and I approve this timely message.
As far as I’m concerned, you got your ass kicked like hundred of people before you throughout history. The difference is, you’re still around to whine about it and now you have indoor plumbing.
Don’t worry Geronimo we all on borrowed time .
Timely your message is, and approval it gets. Hehehehe.