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I move to remove the paragraph about the right to have beer, pot, and strippers….
Suddenly everyone realized how much they hated Steve.
(John Trumbull’s Declaration of Independence)
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: aromero78 via Advanced Lol Builder
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And the paragraph never got removed!
yah rly…
but this is the Declaration of Independence, not the Constitution or Bill of Rights
so this lol makes no sense
Thanks for ruining it!
sorry
*hangs head in shame*
Oh it’s alright. Tell you what, let’s go get some pot, some beer, and some strippers, k?
But Steve said no!
thanks anyway
*head rises*
Fu(k Steve!
Yah Rly!
our “The Steve” would fully approve of strippers, pot and beer… so i think you’re ok.
Then it happens!
*next morning*
Owww….. what happened?!
Uh, it actually does talk about inalienable rights. It could make sense if it included the rights to beer, pot and strippers next to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
They changed it to The Pursuit of Happiness*
*and LOLcats
Happiness IS LOLcats
If you’re in politics, half the country hates you, and the other half loves you.
Unless you’re Steve
or that scary zombie guy….
“or that scary zombie guy….”
`
Zell Miller?
no…
ZOMBIE REAGAN
He scares me…
Today is Zombie Reagan Awareness Day
If you see a strange old guy with red eyes on your front door, asking for brainnnnssss and regressive tax cuts, lock the door and call the authorities
bitter troll suggests troll voodoo to keep zombie reagan at bay, you can buy the troll voodoo for zombies for dummies by bitter troll at your local book store
Holy water works pretty well, except for the Zombie Pope.
I read that as Zombie poop. Freudian slip?
You mean Rob Zombie? Who doesn’t like Rob Zombie?
bitter troll like some of his movies
hates other ones
house ‘o 1000 corpses stank
So did Devil’s Rejects.
halloweenie was good, lotsa boobies
That alone can save about 90% of bad movies from really stinking. I think more films should try that.
I still haven’t seen his Halloween yet.
Yeah, if you’re Steve, everybody hates you
What’s bad, is that the person speaking actually IS named Steve (or Stephen, but you guys probably know that already, hehe), and is related to me
Knowing my family, he probably did say that and probably was hated.
What was his last name?
Hopkins
Thanks. So now:
Stephen Hopkins (March 7, 1707 – July 13, 1785) was an American political leader from Rhode Island who signed the Declaration of Independence. He served as the Chief Justice and Royal Governor of the English Colony of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations and was a Delegate to the Colonial Congress in Albany in 1754 and to the Continental Congress from 1774 to 1776. Hopkins was also the first chancellor of the College in the English Colony of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations (predecessor to Brown University) in conjunction with the presidency of the Reverend James Manning.
Hopkins was born in Providence, Rhode Island, the son of William and Ruth (Wilkinson) Hopkins. Hopkins’ younger brother, Esek Hopkins, became the first commander in chief of the Continental Navy. Hopkins grew up on a farm in Scituate, Rhode Island and was self educated. He moved back to Providence in 1742 and worked as a foundryman, merchant, ship owner, and surveyor.
At 19, he married Sarah Scott, with whom he had seven children, five of whom lived to maturity. Following Sarah’s death, he married a widow named Anne Smith, but they did not have children together.
Oh, and: The SS Stephen Hopkins, a liberty ship named in his honor, was the first U.S. ship to sink a German surface warship in World War II.
For anyone curious…..
He got married at 19. Isn’t that like 50 in Pilgrim years?
Not if you’re a dude. Then you do marry at 50 but you marry a 12 year old.
let the fruit ripen pilgrim men!
wait these are not pilgrims…
“My nameth is Chris Hansen. Taketh a seat, please.”
-sits- bitter troll swear he thought charro was least 18
Statutory rape doesn’t apply to mermaids.
-sips the koolaid- ….suddenly bitter troll think jim jones right…
The funny part is my friend Steve would have been the one cheering on the right for beer, pot, and strippers.
I’m pretty sure that goes for everyone’s friend Steve…
yup!
That’s because Steves are awesome!
Except for the one in the painting…
Shouldn’t “suddently” be on Failblog?
DAMN YOU STEVE!!!!
yah rly
He just wanted to piss off that hemp growing hippie, Washington
And his friends Adams, Jefferson, Hamilton, etc…
Just remember smoke pot and you’ll never amount to anything. Except maybe the most powerful person in the world, but that was only the last three in a row so it was probably a fluke.
oh and all the founding fathers…they never amounted to nothing…bunch of free thinking terrorists if you ask me
Damn that dirty liberal Washington.
At that time in america Alchohol andpot and prostitution was legal… most of our founding fathers had hemp farms. also ” Some of my most memorible times are of me sitting on my porch staring out into the fields smoking some hemp” I think it was Thomas Jefferson or Benjamin franklin.
It’s also California’s top cash crop. legalize it, and California will be saved!
Only if California can be organized enough to charge for growing licenses and for packaging tax (or something of the sort)!
then we legalize MURDER…want to murder your wife? sure…500 dollars for that…
I think we should re-institute the practice of human sacrifice.
You mean that’s not legal?
Apparently they haven’t even been taxing the existing dispensaries. I heard that Oakland just started taxing them, they’re the first city to do it.
My mother’s been talking about moving somewhere warm when my dad dies – I’ve been saying she ought to seriously consider northern California for climate, seashore and availability of medicinal green leaf. I ought to mention to her that it’s even tax-free (for now)!
(She objects on the grounds that she could never smoke. To which I say: Duh, brownies!)
Sure wasn’t Bill Clinton saying that!!!
-wipes a tear- oooh….no one saw that coming a mile away…oh good sir you truely are amuseing…a very original idea…oh oh…bill clinton loves whores..yes yes…you get a gold star for the day
Another brilliant and witty comment from the conservatrolls. Thanks for that.
billman first president who liked pot, strippers, blackjack..
infact forget the blackjack…just pot and strippers
I like strippers and beer. Not good at blackjack, but I did work there for forever.
ahh yes, the wonderful bender presidency. we’ll never see his like again. or should that be we’ll never will have seen his like again…
Are you high right NOW?
FIRST
Since when did you Failbloggers start giving the spelling fails a free ride?
Fail!!
We are NOT Failbloggers! We are Pundit Kitchen-ers. Erm…PKers?
And yes, I noticed the misspelling, but was feeling magnanimous and chose not to comment on it.
So this “Steve” person is the reason no one knows that we were meant to be a Pastafarian Nation? Bastard!
You’d prefer Fettucine Alfredo?
*Tessie misses the ‘Pastafarian = Flying Spaghetti Monster = heaven with beer volcano & stripper factory’ reference*
I’m somewhat familiar with the Pastafarians/FSM (although I didn’t know about the beer volcano etc.). Aren’t the Fettucine Alfredists an offshoot of the main religion?
And then, Suddently, a punditkitchen.com reader discovered a typo on yet another caption!
The pic is reversed
It kept us from being like ireland.
And thats not a good thing.