CRISIS MANAGMENT
CRISIS MANAGMENT
Does not mean what douches who went to business school think it means.
(US Airways Flight 1549)
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TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
*photoshopped?*
Did they die?
Did Chuck Norris do it?
*preemptive inanity strike accomplished.*
You may now carry on with your regularly scheduled lol.
Thank you.
You forgot “FIRST.”
I was waiting for you to say it!
Oh, and *nawt sekkind*!!!
I ralphed out loud.
I upChucked.
I went pewk pewk pewk.
I can has cheesebarfer nao?
I made you a cookie, but I tossed it.
In Soviet Russia, chunks blow you.
Chunks DOES sound like a fat hooker’s name… no offense to all the fat hookers out there.
Fat hookers need money too.
I’m all a-chunder.
not my money.
Next to use LOLspeak will be sent to bed without any supper. And Jane is making her favorite…….
Huh, what, who? I’m not making dinner, I worked all day and then did homework, I’m tired!
Jane you boviously haven’t read your housewife’s guide… I’m sooo disappointed in you…..
I’m not married! Am I PK’s housewife? I don’t remember signing up for this…
Jane is making her favorite, if her favorite is a phone call to papa johns that is.
Are you aware of a thing called “news?” Apparently not, because this incident was all over said “news” a few months ago. Pilot Chesley Sullenberger performed a nearly miraculous ditching of U.S. Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson River on January 15th. The plane had been disabled by multiple bird strikes.
I forgot to mention – yes, everyone lived.
You can has sense of humor?
Out out damn demon of LOLspeak!!!!!! I have excorcized the LOLspeak, this blog is clear…..
Oh come on, were jus havin sum fun!!11!1!!!!
Yeah, well take your fun elsewhere and get the hell off my lawn.. for the umpteen millionth time!!!1!elebenty!!
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Jane, since you have lawn privileges, you could help me out here from time to time ya know..
-Runs around outside fence and slaps intruders with giant tail, pouncing on them playfully- Tell me when your lawn needs burninating, Eddie!
Oh, I’m not a fan of using the LOLspeak. Just occasionally to screw with people.
Teh ewick n sant looie iz teh nawt sekkind n mah <3
I know, Eric.
Adopt me.
I am sorry Eds, I’ve had oodles and oodles of homework to do. I’ve had brief moments of getting my head above water and then right back to it. *sigh*
*inserts generic comforting “worth it” platitude here*
Did Deep Thought say anything funny?
Wow. Funny bone transplant, STAT!
He knows. He was trying to get all those posts out of the way. He KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED.
Hence the Pre-emptive inanity strike bit. Learn internet memes.
Where’s the fun in doing it all yourself, though? Seems sorta greedy, to me…
*pouts*
Just trying to be helpful.
*flounces off to bedroom*
-Hugs and brings hot chocolate-
*accepts gratefully*
Razzzberries for LG!
But, greed is good. It can be your friend if you just let it possess you!
Greed gets you the coolest stuff.
As if! It’s all clearly a hoax to make people feel better during the crisis.
sarcasm detector broken?
No.
Deep, I have some bad news.
I was flying over the Northern Atlantic Ocean yesterday being my regular dragon-man self… And I uhm. Well, I wasn’t paying attention, and when I saw what I thought was a bird, I didn’t bother moving, until I realized it was a bit bigger than I’d thought.
So it was a plane.
Of course, afterwards, I warped time, and reversed the incident altogether, but there was a photograph that slipped through the tiny black hole called “Tyler’s brain” and got to the press.
This is that photograph.
Are you high?
No, Eric, I’m “highly creative”.
I don’t do drugs/drink/smoke, but I do have an incredibly number of absurdities floating around up in my noggin waiting to be mashed together just to make you adults go “Wait… What?!”
Ah. Well done. Carry on.
Igor, your story is some brand of awesome.
Why thank you!
-Wags giant tail and does the Dragon Dance-
In all fairness we have had a depressing shortage of dragons since DWN left us. Someone has to fill the dragon void, otherwise our Dragon Rights Now movement goes nowhere.
bah on dragon rights, up with troll rights! trolls need loven too.
Well, of course.
That’s why I acquired the Title at the PK cookout. Remember?
Igor, quit flaunting and spark the grill! These weenies are gonna roast themselves!
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm weeeeeeeeeeenies
-Sighs fire and burninates the hot dogs-
Now, what else do we need for food?
BEANS!
Bigger hotdogs that don’t burn so quickly?
MORE BEANS!
-Giggles and makes a new troll-skin nest-
By the way, Bitter, the troll rights and dragon rights movement are in agreement. One wants to make burninating trolls a basic dragon right, while one wants to make the right to get burninated by a dragon a basic right.
big flappy fire leezard are mighty yes , but trolls have swarming numbers of us creepy lil dudes. and we has support of garden gnomes….fear the gnomes
But big mighty flappy lizard only sleeps 4 hours a night and never, ever stops bashing trolls, regardless of the inconvenience.
yeah? well….ummm….RUN AWAY RUN AWAY FLEE FOR YOUR TROLL SKIN, THROW GNOMES AT THE FLAPPY DRAGON TO KEEP US SAFE
The words “Fill the dragon void” fill me with very unpleasant mental images.
Today’s unpleasant mental images are tomorrow’s fetishes. Have fun with that one Kurt.
Nah he just needs to get off of Wow and the computer and get laid…
He’s 16. Don’t pressure him, dammit!!
Who knows, maybe ItV will one day become the terror of the Fantasy shelves at Buns and Noodle bookstore!
>.> Viking, I already am. Ransack it weekly.
And oh, how I wish. Love writing, I does.
If you love it, keep doing it!
Of course I will, VG
It’s not like I was about to quit…
VG and I are teachers. I’m sure she’ll agree with me when I say student writing that doesn’t make us snore is a huge bonus and should be encouraged at all times.
You would’ve loved me in high school. Assignments where satire was the focus earned my mega A++++++++. And my stuff would get read to the class because I was teh awesum. Adulthood has drained the creativity sadly enough.
Yeah, Eric. Satire, railing, complete works of fiction and lyrics are my happy areas in writing.
No Eric, he obviously landed. Duh.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm NOT, pick up a news paper once in a while or hey better yet actually watch the news
Please to unstick your M key. kthanxbai!
Is this a lol or a “that guy is awesome” caption?
and it sounds like somebody is jealous of those with a business degree
Good God man, who would be jealous of a business degree?
I know.
I dun’ wanna sell stuff, or manage the economy, nor do most people. (Note- that is opinion.)
I wanna do something that I actually WANT to do with my life.
“I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”
LD FTW!
Nice…love that movie
Heh. For some reason, the last sentence reminds me of Palin.
Anywhoo, nah, I just don’t want to be stuck in some crappy drone job. I’d go insane. I want to write, teach, something that doesn’t actually stick me behind a desk 1000 hours a day. If not anything particularly interesting, I’d rather work somewhere like the lumber yard my father worked at when he was my age. Something that feels nice and physical. You know?
Hey crappy drone jobs aren’t all that bad… *looks around his cubicle* Oh god….. get me out of here…. GET ME OUT!!
Success = doing something that you enjoy a goodly chunk of the time (like maybe 70%), and being able to live on what you make for a salary.
Does it count if you enjoy what you do for a living, but it still sucks your soul and leaves you a lifeless husk with no heart?
Umm. I’ll have to get back on you with that one…. wow.
You enjoy having your soul sucked out?
In bed. Through mah penis!
I enjoy the job, but not the soul sucking. I feel it hurts my warm fuzzies.
bitter troll suggests work in troll industry
How are the benefits there? Medical? Dental? Vacation time?
Medical? When trolls are insulted or disproven, they die of loneliness.
Dental? You think trolls have teeth? The sh*t is beaten out of too many trolls each year for even one tooth to remain in one troll head.
Vacations? You think trolls ever STOP?
Yes- we’ve noticed that you never stop….
Oh, look, the troll is talking to himself again.
Because he doesn’t have anything to contribute and has to insult anonymously with subtle little remarks to make himself feel less crazy.
Careful Igor, next he’s going to come out with the “I know you are but what am I” retort, and there’s no countering that one.
Except for with intelligent, reasoned debate.
If you think that’s going to work, you haven’t spent enough time on PK
Oh, it won’t work, but it will expose him for the ass he’s being and will give him a good example.
I admire your optimism
Want to know what else you should admire about me, Kurt?
Linky.
Okay i’m clicking the link, but this had better not be an attempt at rick rolling me.
you know what, the heck with that. not taking the chance, I just saw the link takes me to youtube. Nice try though.
When I got laid off from a transmission shop, when the war started and killed the local economy, I took a job as a contract courier, and have never looked back. No longer do I work at a bench all day, with a 24×24 inch window as my only portal to the outside world. (And that had a fan in it)
Now I work for myself, make more money than in the shop, and as long as my freight gets off my truck by 5pm, I do pretty much as I please. The only real disadvantage is that it’s kinda hard to call in fishing, er sick. I still love to rebuild transmissions, and do that on the side in my basement, but WHEN I want too, and for MY price.
I think that sounds like the awesome. Congratulations, man
I thank God EVERY day of my life for what I have. For most of us, it’s kind of hard to KNOW what you want to do at your age, but some people do. I always liked driving and visiting new places, but didn’t want the solitary life of a Truck Driver. I’ll tell you, the best thing to help me in every job I ever done was to respect myself and others. Something I didn’t know early on.
Bottom line, most people who are held back, are holding themselves back. Even if you get a job you don’t enjoy, it will give you experiences that will help you, even if only “that sure AINT the job for me.”
Exactly what I thought of when I read Igor’s post!
Me too! Man I had a HUGE crush on Lloyd Dobbler.
To know Lloyd Dobler is to love Lloyd Dobler.
I want to be in college my whole life. Is that a career? Maybe I should move to Europe.
It is if you’re Van Wilder.
Write that down.
Or Tommy… or Bluto…
Graduate school (6-12 years), and then become a prof. Or someone in student life/counseling/chaplain. It is doable!
hmmmmmmmmmmm
you four have made me happy
I work in retail. I’m jealous of a business degree right now since all I have is a useless communication degree.
You just need to learn how to sell yourself. Then you can convince somebody else that you can sell them.
Communications degrees are like English degrees. Worthless by themselves, but if you can use the skills they taught you, you can make decent bank.
Eh. I’m not very sellable. LOL
I bet if you wear a sequined onesie and high heels someone will buy you…
BTDT. And someone did pay me $10 to change back into regular clothes. Not really worth my while.
Made $10 though didn’tcha!?
And the Maverick and I we believe that the best of America is in these wonderful little sequined pockets of what we call the real America to help Brandon and his family of plumbers in stilettos go to school because of our great Department of Law you betcha.
A’right now, doont go makin’ fun a my accent, its rude dontchayaknow!
I don’t dig a grave accent but yours is acute one.
I’m feeling obtuse, today.
Whoa, I think you just did a 180.
That’s just not right.
You betcha!!
Well, you know, you’re likeable enough…
You’re lickable enough too Froo!
And right now, there’s even more of me to lick, lol.
Froo, that was nasty… Please, don’t ever put in my head the image of licking a stillborn fetus. O.O
Blech. Not my intent, and a very scare route for your brain to go.
You know what else is scary? That picture of Hillary in the “Click to caption” section below this lol….
That… smile….. it haunts me.
Well, it went like this, Froo-
more of you to lick- referring to pregnancy. pregnancy- affects stomach. stomach affected by- babies. therefore, the licking is somehow related to the baby.
I have no idea how my mind works.
So why the fvck did you use the word stillborn? Honestly.
How else would you lick a baby that hasn’t been borneded? It’s still in her tummy. I dunno. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time and I don’t even use alcohol/drugs.
VERY long tongue?
The outfit cost $50. So I lost $40 on the deal. Sad, really. Tragic even.
better than a bachelor’s in basket weaving….. I think their favorite question is, “Would you like fries with that?”
Yeah, well, I’ve been there too. Comm majors in St. Louis are generally referred to as “assistant manager” at best.
Or they go into advertising, where the average company goes out of business in 3 years…
Please. You gotta know somebody in St. Louis to get on with a company that’ll go out of business in 3 years. Talk about a dream job!
It’s not who you KNOW, it’s who you BLOW!
*wonders what second-rate comm school Eric went to that didn’t teach him that little factiod*
-Knows that factoid-
-Wonders why the f*ck he knows that factoid-
Deep, Deep, Deep….
Can we get an avatar please? You’re making me scared that you might be someone’s sock incarnate.
In the morning, I feel like shit, hence the brown.
In the night, I feel green. It’s not easy being green.
*takes Ig-ler’s suggestion under advisement*
Igler? I like it.
However, we might want to make it “IglerDor” since we’re surrounded by trolls all the time, and they better stay back cause I wanna give them fair warning, they’re gonna get BURNINATED
you have no one at home to talk to, do you?
You are an idiot troll aren’t you?
Isn’t Idiot troll redundant? OR perhaps simply a classification of troll. For example, you have idiot trolls, stubborn trolls, rude trolls, bigot trolls and many other troll categories. My personal favorite category being burninated trolls, there really do need to be more of them.
Trust me, Kurt.
The pile grows every day by my hand.
Or my mouth.
But let’s go with hand cause that’s slightly less dirty.
It’s your very first stalker troll, Tyler! I remember when I had my own stalker troll…
Course then he turned out to be MegaTroll and he stopped stalking me in favor of Uncle Fester. *sigh*
Oh, is he like a pet that you drag around by the neck and giggle and show him off as he slowly chokes to death, but the only thing he’s choking on is his own stupidity?
No need to drag them Tyler. Their sad and pathetic lives aren’t complete unless they are finding YOU on the internet and trying (and failing) to write witty and clever insults. They just end up looking moronic and immature and the best part is you’re already there to enjoy the show.
Jane, you’re mistaken.
The infection must be controlled.
They have to die.
ALL OF THEM.
-BURNINATE MORE PEASANT TROLLS!-
Jane, all this talk of stalker trolls is making me miss the pre election days that I got to duke it out with Evil Pundit on a several times daily basis. Whatever happened to him? *Looks suspiciously at Igor*
You should come to DC…. Obama’s getting rid of contractors and making all the jobs federal.
I have no intentions of ever leaving this pit of a midwestern town. I love this dump too much.
*blushes*
*hides newest semester schedule*
*sheepishly toes the dirt*
Business Degrees aren’t all THAT bad….
For the record, the real Crisis Management: Keeping your head when the feces hits the fan, and getting everybody out alive and intact.
Or when the bird hits the fan in this case
Yeah… mixing idioms — would their goose be cooked when the shit hit the fan??? Drama on the high seas…
But those who wanted him to kick the bucket would be in some deep sh*t when they couldn’t kill one fish with two cement blocks.
Strangely enough, I have that crocheted (that word just looks wrong) onto a throw pillow.
How about ‘when the squirrel hits the fan’? (old family story)
♫ Slimy scarlet swirls of squicky squishy squirelly spew…. ♫
When the squirrel hits the fan, the cats will be on him like dead on Elvis. No real drama after that, other than scooting the cats outside with their prize.
This made me LOL. A win IMO.
Really? I’ve come to *hate* this picture, it’s been up so often. Seems like a scene from “Groundhog Day” – the alarm clock goes off; the animal sees his shadow; the Hudson River plane LOL pops up on Pk.
Followed soon after by the PETA “fur is ded” nonlol.
Then Palin is corrupt and Bush is dumb,Obama is cool, Michelle is sexy. Then start over.
What, again already?
Oh! And the Pope sucks! Forgot the Pope…
Well…the Pope does suck, after all.
It’s the cover-uppage of the suckage that sucks, IMO.
And Vlad is teh hawt, in a savage bodice-rippy kind of way.
Where’s the token Putin picture… then the occasional Biden’s a moron, and there’s ninjas somewhere.
Um, er, it’s right above your nose!
Dont worry obama will fix pundit kitchen, and make us all pie. we love pie…cept me…im bitter
k
m?
y?
z
c?
3
s!
O!
lions
R!
I’d like to buy a vowel, please?
G!
Wrong!
im sorry, can bitter troll get that in form of question? or if you wonder twin, form of GIANT SPACE EAGLE!
KMFDM!
Pat, I’d like to buy an 8.
BIG BUCKS NO WHAMMY GO!
**looks cross eyed*** still can’t see it!!!
**looks crossly**
Hint: It rhymes with Plaid is le haute …
Bad!
I have a short memory, so I don’t remember seeing it before. The caption made me LOL, mostly because of the word “douchebag”, not necessarily the picture.
It could have been a pic of Little Orphan Annie and I would have LOL’d.
lil orphan annie used douchebags?
I have pictures.
she only like 11 ….bitter troll bitter, not creepy interwebz pervert.
Then no pictures for you.
I am. Send me the picture, kthxbai
I’m sure right now, there are some MBA weasels telling this captain that he should have used a more economical way to land his aircraft, save money and help raise the profit margin of the company so the CEO can cash out his stock options at a higher rate and increase his own bonus…..
I often corrected the MBAs and their sycophants at work when, in order to make themselves appear more important, they inflated the importance of their problems. They would claim that it is Vital or Critical that something get done immediately and I would point out that head trauma, arterial bleeding, a sucking chest wound would be Critical. By comparison, completing specifications on time barely makes it to important.
So, they aren’t smart enough to bash themselves in the head, gash their throats, or use a shotgun on one another to meet your definition of “problem”? Huh. Go figure.
it’s a fair point. I hate it when anyone tries to spice up their requests by using inappropriate adjectives. It is never critical that i read your email about the class project due in a month.
My philosophy has always been when someone says they need something ASAP it immediately goes to the bottom of the pile. When asked about it, I always say that it isn’t possible at the moment, but I’ll get to as soon as I can and add the qualifier, “Poor planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on mine.” I have since stopped getting action items that have ASAP on it.
What about if someone asks something like “Could you just (insert some form of paperwork/approval stamp needed) real quick?”
What punishment does that get them, Eddie?
That earns the reply, “Today just isn’t your day. And tomorrow isn’t looking to good either.”
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Bottom line is this, unless someone can show me where the world as we know it (or my job) will cease to exist if I don’t jump through my ass to get something done, it just isn’t going to happen. First In, First Out, that’s the way I work.
What would it take for you to jump through your own ass? Id like to see how that’s physically possible.
Would you accept a Klondike?
Well, you could go back and watch some video’s of Bill and Hillary.. I’d demonstrate, but it’s a State Secret that you can only learn in the military.
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And yes, Klondikes are accepted.
Eddie, have you ever thought maybe Bitter Troll was actually Fester entertaining himself? He just said “bitter troll is not this cheif guy, sorry. you not know who bitter troll is, use to rarely make comments under different name but sure no one would remember. was reborn as evil interwebz troll for self amusement.”
Do you know anyone THAT devious?
bitter troll not fester either. bitter troll likes fester name but is not him.
*giggles*
My little troll is back!
Eh, I’m stumped. I thought maybe Igor was having some fun with us since BT made a couple video game refs, but I don’t think so anymore. Don’t take it personally, Igor. I like the bitter troll.
I likes him too.
And hey, just FYI, I’d never make a sock if I didn’t announce it at some point that I was switching names/avatars etc.
Fester knew how to spell, Igor.
True, but wouldn’t Fester be the only one who could make that much of a change to throw us off his trail? And he says he likes the name Fester. PROOOOFFF, I tell you.
No, Fester is a much better, more effective, and more irritating troll than this one. I’d say it’s MegaBob in another sock if its anyone.
that good fox news proof
if yous wanna know bitter trolls secret ident..identy…idempty….identity….iz batman
Froo, it’s not Megabob.
This one is actually a bit… cute, if anything.
Not that I’d pet him, of course. He still has standard spikes of hardened waste instead of bodily hair, and might bite and give me frothy syndrome.
really, me no one but bitter troll. and me batman…whoooosh with me troll cape
Ty-gor, I’m not good at troll identification, but I don’t think it’s a Fester type troll. I also don’t think it’s MegaBob or Evil Pundit because it just isn’t caustic enough. However, just a possibility, could it be She Who Shall Not Be Named?
Anniee, you mean? Or a different one?
And she wouldn’t do that- she hates us too much to act like this.
A different one.. also known as HHNF..
Nah, she’s got some issues right now.
Doesn’t have time to use PK. Spoke to her on Graphjam a few months ago.
Anyway, now we know it was Grimmiekins.
bitter troll far more amuseing then stoopid hooman
Oh wait, if they drop a six pack on my desk, you would be amazed at how quickly I can get something done.
it’s not so bad when someone asks nicely, and appreciates the work. it’s when they expect you to do bust your ass for their deadline that gets annoying.
Ok, that’s a good point..
Eddie- does it take you exactly the amount of time it takes you to drink a six pack plus 45 seconds?
Give or take a few seconds..
Of course.
It’s understandable, anyone can have a bad day for chugging.
Oh, my bosses were blowing up my phone all day insisting I come in to work early today because of an “emergency situation.” I work at Sears. There is no such thing as an emergency situation there. It’s a department store. Nothing that happens there actually matters.
In a way – everything that happened at my job (where I am currently not working due to that pesky financial crisis) was an emergency, in that for such a small company, every little unhandled glitch could cost us a customer and every customer was vital.
But none if was any form of important emergency as far as people surviving mattered, only in little trivial bits like “trying to ensure we can keep our jobs”. ;p
“none if” was a very strange shortening of ” none of it”. :p
Without MBAs we’d have no leadership, no jobs, no productivity, no economic growth.
No thanks to socialism please.
Hilarious. While we’re at it, can we mock the hell of corporate tools that abuse the hell out of the word “heroes”? Maybe Bob in sales scored a nice deal for once, but that does not make him a frigging hero.
And why do they always say, “It is what it is”? Why? WHY?
it is what it is…cause if it was something else bitter troll would not be worried about it, bitter troll is worried about what it is. why not say a carrot is a carrot, not a acorn!
Have you ever considered coming out of your troll-coon? (Troll Cocoon.)
bitter troll likes the snooze button
I’ve got something in common with bitter troll.
That makes three of us. Eric, we found out tonight that BT was actually Grimmiekins in disguise.
From the Rulebook of Dragons, rule 77 abcd-
Once the word has been used as the name for a TV show, it loses all meaning.
Recommendation- Abandon said word.
Bob in sales defeated the giant robot attacking the city with his super rocket punch. does that help?
Yes you can and perhaps should, mock the corporate tools by saying “it also ain’t what it’s not”
so word has been abandoned since earth2?
Yes. We’re on Second Miltia now. Get with the program.
but program is harrrrrd
But if you want them there Buns Of Steel, that butt program is the only regime that’ll do it for ya.
Oh give me a break with this HUDSON landing thingie
If you use the term “douche,” you’re being inaccurate. That’s something that cleans and freshens. I think you mean “foreskin pustule.”
spell fail. I can’t believe nobody saw it. “management” not “managment”.
at least those douches who went to business school would be able to spell “management” correctly
Even so, I’ll still take doing crisis management in a real crisis over spelling it correctly. It just might save my life one day.