Hey, thanks for those
Hey, thanks for those vote counting tips. They worked great.
(Mahmoud Ahmedinejad and Vladimir Putin)
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He should be talking to GWB.
Just saying.
Man, let’s not start it here…
/sighs and pulls out shotgun for zombies filled with right-wing vitriol-
I know it’s happening on this nest now, Deep. Thanks. :/
*digs a bunker and hands helmet to Tyler*
I don’t know how long we’ll last.
-Turns on tripwires and Military-grade spotlights, and secures the steel backup dome’s door. Turns round and pulls out semi-automatic G3-
Ready for fun, Lefty?
Fox Pundit: “G3? You’re using a German rifle? What’s wrong with good ol’ ‘merican rifles??”
True. However, I’m actually referring to one of the countless variations that are more modern
The only REAL reason a Fox pundit wouldn’t like it, however, is because they prefer their bullshit fired fully-automatic in every direction. I prefer NOT to perpetrate friendly fire/needless ammo waste. 
Perhaps the PSG-1 minus the sniper scope, just a reflexive red dot sight or plain old iron sights. >:D
I call sniper rifle! Although sniper rounds might just go right through the deteriorated flesh of a zombie. I take that back. I call flame thrower!
Which is why you shoot them in the neck, Eric.. Sheesh
I’ll go for the simple AK-47. Will fire no matter how much zombie brain matter is in the breach. And can fire underwater…. you know for those water zombies. Remember always aim for the head. not the neck.
You really should try out the AK-74. Much more modern, if a little more expensive.
I’d only shoot for the neck if you’d have to destroy most or all of their brain to kill them, then I’d go for severing the spinal cord. If it’s a headshot-kill zombie, then I’d go straight for the face.
Anyway, my problem is that AK-47 isn’t anywhere near as precise as the G3 or M4. That’s a huge flaw, PB.
Yeah but it’s loud and makes a big bang!!! The power of the AK as well would put a nice hole in the zombie’s brain. And once again WAY so reliable!!!
Meh, the H&K guns may have some issues, but a few variants like the G36 are actually way more reliable than the M4/M16, and dude, haven’t you EVER read World War Z? Sheesh, you would DIE in a zombie attack.
Also- the AK is typically a bit harder to handle in terms of aiming, it so it has less of a chance of hitting a zombie’s head- Here’s the advice in the book: “One headshot, one second.”
The reason I mean you’d die in the attack is that any gun with a big loud bang attracts more zombies- especially if you miss the head and hit it somewhere that makes it moan, that will pull in all the zombies in the area, and if you make one evasion mistake, then you’re as good as dead.
Truck-mounted 50 cal. Unlimited ammo. Hooboy.
Froo, that would just make me worried because that could make crawlers (one of those bullets can tear the leg off a man, literally.) and they’d follow the smell of gasoline back several days later, and I’d never have the opportunity to sleep. See what I mean? :/
M1 Abram with mounted 51 Caliber. Dude, to Tyler, I would so kick Zombies asses. I don’t go into a building without measuring up how to either a) escape or b) baord it up in case of Zombie attack. Plus I wouldn’t be the morons who ignore Zombie movies. If I see someone bit, BAM!! Right to the head.
ILPB, you REALLY need to read the books.
If one of your friends is infected, that’s not the procedure. What you do is leave them with a desert eagle and tie them up to a tree, and leave them as bait while you make whatever preparations you may need. Sheesh.
you’d rather use an hk which requires constant attention than the tried and true m14? both shoot 7.62×51 and the m14 looks much cooler… especially the “l’ong trang” special edition m25…
The truth is, Ubr, that the newer G36 oftentimes will jam less than the modern M14/16. Also, the G3 models can be an accurate semi-automatic rifle, and even the WWII version has a high range of fire and accuracy.
It’s quiet….too quiet….
They’re… They’re PLANNING?! And adapting?
Unless they can open doors, we’re okay.
Oh wait, that’s dinosaurs, my bad.
Hudson: Let’s just bug out and call it even, OK? What are we talking about this for?
Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Hudson: F*ckin’ A…
Burke: Ho-ho-hold on, hold on one second. This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it.
Ripley: They can *bill* me.
-
[the drop-ship crashes]
Hudson: Well that’s great, that’s just f*ckin’ great, man. Now what the f*ck are we supposed to do? We’re in some real pretty sh*t now man…
Hicks: Are you finished?
-
Hudson: That’s it man, game over man, game over! What the f*ck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
Burke: Maybe we could build a fire, sing a couple of songs, huh? Why don’t we try that?
Best Alien movie of the whole frachise!
maybe cuz thats too retarted to be noisy?
*pops fresh cookies out of the oven*
*passes tray around*
Must keep your strength up!
-Dribbles-
Thank you, perty ladee.
Working on your handle while on the lookout for zombies. Now that’s dedication.
You have NO idea.
*perks up* What kinds of cookies?
Did I hear “cookies”?!
Any you like. Peanut Butter, Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal Raisin, and Sugar Cookies!
…
Captain, would you and your BF care to live in my house? I LOVE cookies.
*huggles*
I do love to bake.
*hides Captain’s bf’s body in the closet*
Your boyfriend left you. Tough break. Marry me?
(Yes, yes, I know I’m already married, but she likes cookies too. We can make it work.)
Eric, she says she’ll only marry you if you let me live in your house and feed off the cretins and get in on the action of awesomeness every now and again.
Now that’s just creepy. You’ve taken the beautiful love of cookies and polygamy that I’ve created and turned it into something dirty. That’s awful.
Yeah, Polygamy and and cookies was okay. But what Tyler suggested was just…. wrong. But it’s okay Tyler, I still love ya!
I think I was hunger-drunk.
I don’t even remember writing most of this, and I know the word “cretins” wasn’t what I intended it to be.
Weird.
*Noms one of each* Mmmmmmmmm
Milk?
Thanks! (silly Eric and Tyler fighting, there won’t be any cookies left by the time I’m done! *evil laugh*)
::lunges for a chocolate chip cookie before they’re gone::
Nooooooooo!!!
*oven timer goes off*
It’s okay Eric, there’s another batch coming up!
Thereby proving why you are the captain of wow!
*salutes!*
Don’t worry guys, I already ate the batch. No need to fight over cookies in my tummy.
*pokes his head up from his Cubicle of Doom*
I smell cookies….
Honey I’ll make you cookies later. If you’re a good, erm, I mean BAD boy.
Ahem… People in Russia freaking ADORE Putin. Like really. The people on the street and pretty much everyone and their mother except for the really rich folks that he pushes around for his fun and profit.
Most of us think he’s awesome/hilarious too.
Ah, Mr. Sniper President, how we love you…
… in bed.
I doubt Capt. Wow’s boyfriend will be happy to hear that.
If someone had said “Ah, Jessica Simpson/Carrie Underwood/ Any Victoria’s Secret model/ how we love you” he would have definitely added… in bed.
-
And on a side note I wouldn’t really like the idea of having V. Putin in my bed…. He may be good to look at but I have a sneaky suspicion that the man likes some freaky sh!t.
I hear he’s into headshots. {http://punditkitchen.com/2008/08/04/political-pictures-vladimir-putin-russia-president-assassinates-you/}
And tell him that if he would say in bed to Jessica Simpson, he’s definitely a little confused.
Why? Don’t all guys drool over Jessica Simpson…. or am I totally confused?
I find her to be a little unattractive, what with her personality and complete lack of intelligence. :/
So keep her gagged in bed. Simple solution.
… I like this one.
Creative, resourceful, and best of all.. Knows how to silence a woman in bed.
With a penis.
:rofl:
Only if her mouth is like this.
But unlike 80% of the celebrities out there, she has decent sized boobs. I can overlook quite a bit for boobs.
(Even hers are a little on the small side for me though, heh heh)
Yeah.
Celebrities need more boobies, less idiotically brainwashed opinions.
However, the stupidity and lack of practicality for me would totally override the BOOBBIIEESS impulse.
Which is why we like you Tyler. Enough brains to find the brainless-but-attractive to be boring!
Hey! You wouldn’t like boobs if you had them. *blushes* Mine FINALLY stopped growing at D and I’m praying to God that they stay put after I’ve had the babies.
I think you underestimate men. If men had boobs some of us wouldn’t leave the house….
Mine stopped growing at C. And then when I hit middle age, well… I find the double-D a compensation for the growth of the other curves. I guess? The BF is happy, though!
“I think you overestimate men. If men had boobs some of us wouldn’t leave the house….”
fixed it for you
But see to most men boobs are a speed bumb before heading south. It’s like kiss kiss, squeeze squeeze, alright foreplay done.
Not with my hubby, PB. It’s a little irritating, especially when I’m preggers (like now) or breastfeeding, because they are almost too tender to touch. And he won’t leave them alone. I think if given the choice, he’d spend 3 hours on them, and about 5 minutes on the other stuff.
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I’ll be glad when we’re done having kids and I don’t have to protect the sore boobies any more!
Ive said it once I’ll say it again… The bust, the areola, and the nipple are three concentric circles, that creates a bullz-eye. As men we have millions of years of genetic hunter/gatherer coding that tell us to “GO FOR THE BULLZ-EYE YOU S.O.B.!!”. So to deny us our love and attraction to boobs is to deny over a million years of evolution.
I do not deny. I simply withhold for a time being while they’re too painful to touch. I’m sure you guys would love it if we women kicked you in the noo-noos and then tried to fondle them. That’s what the boobies feel like right now
Maxwell, 250,000 years is more accurate for Homo Sapiens
Captain, you have no IDEA of my love for boobies. I likes them. Alot. Also, if you want to :redface: type : redface : minus the spaces, or at least, I hope that’s right..
It’s
. sorry.
Froo is pregnant? CUTE!
When’s it due? Did you pick out a name? Can I meet it?
Go figure – so do women! (And those that claim that they absolutely do not, have just lost touch with their inner child or something. )
:yawn:
Airhead….
Hey! I didn’t say I liked her. He just thinks she’s hot
I dunno, I think every guy has a list of “man’s men” he wouldn’t mind sharing his wife/girlfriend with, and would in fact lead to awesome bragging rights.
Mine would go something like this:
Sean Connery
Nicholas Cage
Jerry Rice
Vladmir Putin
I mean seriously, if I was even a hint of bisexual I might be tempted to do them myself!
One of my old bosses (the one that would say things like, “hey did you lose weight or did your boobs get bigger?”) loved to talk about his man crushes which included Will Smith and Gerard Butler, but only as he looked in 300.
LOL.
He’s terrible at having man-crushes.
And your boss sounds awful.
Your old boss sounds like a sleaze bag.
You’re just jealous that someone as cool as Jane doesn’t work for you so you can’t get away with talking smack.
As if she wouldn’t talk about her chick-crushes if she were so inclined.
I am jealous that I don’t work with any women who have boobs that I’m interested in looking at.
It would be nice to have a little eye candy to get through the day, is that so horrible?
Nope. Not at all. I’m glad I’m still in high school.
Having eye candy at the workplace is fine–so long as you can keep your mouth shut about it! Some of my colleagues and students are eye-candy worthy. But they don’t know that I think that way. Jane’s ex-boss sounds like a first class jerk. And stupid. –statements like the one quoted above are definitely actionable as sexual harassment.
-Prays for VG to say they’re female eye-candy so imagination can go free-
Both varieties of eye candy are present. I appreciate viewing the human form in most varieties!
-Drools and rolls eyes back happily- :biggrin:
My bad. Typo.
Depends if it’s reciprocated.
One of the basic tenets of a lawsuit is that the harasser’s conduct must be unwelcome.
…by anyone. If a third party is offended by the consensual contact of two other people, it’s sexual harassment and can lead to termination of employment. And lawsuits.
And a law full of fail because there are too many prudes in the world for one of them not to be “offended”.
Legally, yes.
However, her ex-boss was a sleaze. I can guarantee that no one is bothered by ‘you are looking well these days’. But most women don’t like their boss commenting on their figures. Boyfriend, maybe, but not the boss. And many young women don’t feel confident enough to say so to their boss.
@Tyler. Prudes or not prudes, it is best to keep sexuality out of the workplace.
True, but I’m a bit sick of people who’re “offended” by everything. A woman I just met thinks it’s a bad thing that a show insults everybody. Would she prefer the show insults only fat people, or retarded people, or what? She also assumed I wouldn’t know the four actors in the movie The Hangover, when I know ALL of them, and then proceeds to say “Oh, well that movie just insulted EVERYONE!” Like it’s a horrible thing.
Equal opportunity jokes are not a bad thing.
…key words: CAN LEAD TO.
fin.
I’m pretty hard to offend, but that doesn’t mean I want to listen to the airheadbimbos in my office loudly chattering about sex toys over lunch right outside my office door. What if I was on speakerphone?
@diss:
Hear, hear. Then again, that’s just inappropriate behaviour at work (depending on the workplace – if there never ever are any customers or any contact with customers, meh), and general stupidity, not harrassment. (As I’d see it, that is.)
Well, Danbala, we don’t know if she works at a sex shop, so depending that could be 100% appropriate.
@Tyler: Fairy nuff!
I don’t feel harassed by it; just occasionally annoyed! But the airheadbimbo conversations are generally annoying no matter the topic.
What’s really really creepy is that at my Sears we used to have a number of middle-aged guys as tools & lawn & garden salesmen, and they would always flirt with the teenage cashiers that would be sent down to work in tools. It was the creepiest thing I’ve ever experienced, bar none.
@diss:
Yeah, I just added the harrassment bit because all earlier posts in the thread had a harrassment pov – I didn’t think you expressed a feeling of harrassment in your post.
Unclarity seems to remain my signum.
(Not to mention my fingers’ amazing ability to cram an extra r into harass even though I know it shouldn’t be there. Damn their eyes!)
Oh that is the least of some of the stuff he would say. The problem was that everyone loved having him for a boss because he’d let them do pretty much whatever they wanted. Also, I’m pretty sure his love of my breasts were one of the few things that kept him from caving in to the she-b*tch psycho supervisor that wanted him to fire me. Luckily, he is now my ex-boss, as he moved on to greener pasture and bailed on the sinking ship that is the bookstore I work at.
BoobsmakejobsFTW?
I would say more like boobskeepjobs except in retrospect I’m pretty sure my boobs are what prompted him to hire me in the first place. It confuses them because other than their larger than average size I don’t feel that they’re that spectacular. I guess sleezy guys are sleezy guys though, right?
It’s all we ever are, Janie. You didn’t realize it before?
My dear, you dont give yourself enough credit.
And no I didnt mean “give them” either…
Ummmmmm…. thanks? I think?
I’ve got my girl crushes too. I think Rachel McAdams, Angelina Jolie, and Audrey Hepburn (though deceased sadly) are sexy beyond comprehension.
-
But I like guys too much.
Audrey Hepburn is just so beautiful.
Was.
Whatever.
She’s just so classic.
To say the least!
Now to test if img url tags work here…
Epic win:
Epic fail:
put { } ’s around them.
Around what? The tags altogether?
Salma Hayek. Cute as hell with a bangin’ shape.
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. agreed!
*drools*
A previous relationship I was in had stated rules that if Salma Hayek came onto me, I had full permission to go with it, as long as shared the details with her afterwards. I had a likewise arrangement with Johnny Depp. When asked if I wanted to know the details afterwards Id merely reply, “I cant watch?”
I dont know what it is about Johnny, but Id kiss him… really…
Hubby and I have a list, a la “Friends”. We have ten people apiece. Hubby’s first five in order are Shakira, Shakira, Sandra Bullock, Shakira, Angelina Jolie, and Shakira.
The woman can move her hips, but damn… she takes up an extra spot in the top five
She transcends the number five, according to Hubby, therefore she gets an extra spot
Pahahah terrific.
Link to awesome human rights music.
Your hubby has good taste.. that would pretty much be my list as well.
I thought it was funny, John saw a movie with Elizabeth Taylor when she was younger and he was like DAMN who’s that? I told him and he didn’t believe me, having seen her recently.
-
He likes that Jordana Brewster too. Maybe he likes Brunettes in particular?
*Homer-Drool*
bangin’ is definately the word. Lord, thank you for the cleavage and the hips…
Janie….
You’re a winner. I’d forgotten who she was, then I thanked the lord for Google Images.
Ooer, yes. She is delish.
And Juliette Lewis, Natural Born Killers style.
… and I have an unexplicable soft spot for Jodie Foster.
(Wide variety of “styles”. Huh.)
Liv Tyler, Gwen Stefani, and Rosario Dawson are pretty swell…
Liv Tyler… Looks like Mich. Jackson
Gwen= would probably sing in bed and give me a headache, or do… gymnastics. Bad gymnastics :/
Don’t be silly, SB. Let’s name some gorgeous ones.
Hey man, I like what I like
Pick your own luscious ladies!
I would, but I don’t really like celebrities. In fact, I’d probably pick some of the ladies from PK, regardless of how hot they *are*, my decisions would be influenced by awesomeness and hotness levels
Liv Tyler is delicious. Especially when you look at Steven Tyler and wonder how someone so pretty could be his offspring.
My wife and I have our lists of people we can’t get in trouble for messing around with. I believe her list includes Joey McIntyre of the New Kids and former hockey player Adam Oates. Sad really.
Don’t all couples have those? Ours includes Clive Owen (for me) and Danica Patrick (for him).
*hugs diss*
I adore Clive Owen! That voice! But before him would be Robert Downey Jr. for me. I’m obsessed.
Mmmm Robert Downey Jr.
Though I would go with Johnny Depp and/or Ewan McGregor before RDJ. MEOW.
MEOW after that comment? Tyler thinks he’s in loves.
I am pretty sure I have informed my significant other that I’d leave forever if Captain Jack Sparrow came along and picked me up. Johnyy Depp I’d very gladly jump into bed with, but the Sparrow-character makes me … totally … *homer-drool* … aaararrrr …
I’m pretty sure I’d do that too, and I’m heterosexual.
I’d just do it to be a pirate, but still, I have no problem admitting Jack Sparrow is HOT.
Yeah, I mean – who, in their right mind, does not want to be a pirate!?
Obama, as he takes them down with extreme predudice?
-
/cheap dig about Somali pirates
Yo, ho ho ho, we don’t care if we get sniped, we’re better than all the military tripe, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. -staggers-
Care to join the crew, Dannie?
Oh. Yeah. That. There should be two different words for pirates. ;p
You mean like… Wannabees and Pirates?
I Russia Putin adore you!!! Oh wait that joke doesn’t work.
They didn’t! At least not as I wrote them. :p
Links instead, then!
Epic win
Epic fail
(And I make the epic nesting fail, woohoo!
)
Oh. My. God. Paris isn’t even in the same UNIVERSE as Audrey Hepburn!
No kidding.
Audrey Hepburn is playing a prostitute in that picture and looks like the epitome of class. Paris Hilton is wearing the same clothes and looks like the epitome of a prostitute. Stupid skank.
EUUUUGHHH!
Oh lord, that godawful Paris Hilton picture is constantly on the ROFLrazzi vote page. I can’t stand that brat. I don’t get why there are people who actually like her.
Like my brother.
/puke.
He even watched her reality tv show.
Disgusting.
I don’t get why she’s like that. She’s a billionaire heiress. What’s the benefit of being a skank?
I’m as puzzled as you are. What’s the benefit in acting like a braindead skank, really. I’m fairly certain she’s not anywhere near as stupid as she acts, which makes the whole thing even more puzzling.
Low Self Esteem.
And apparently it works, at least attention-getting-wise.
Yeah, I’m going with Danbala. She’s an attention whore. Which is again stupid because she’s got enough money where she doesn’t need to act like that to get attention. Unless she actually enjoys being a brain dead drunken skank. Which would be sad.
Yes, she must be smarter than she would appear. Otherwise she’d be Miss South Caroline (video link)
… Carolina*
My education, such as, wharrgarbl.
a.
is for a@@hole
Beat you to it. ;p
Speaking of states, and because I am in a VARY linky mood today – I whiled away at least an hour last night clicking and clicking on map quizzes on illike2learn.com. I remembered more of the US than I thought, but sucked coconuts on Africa’s countries. :/
SPLORT!
*coconuts… sucking… kinky…*
But so hairy.
We could shave the coconuts.
Or, put the lime in the coconut, drink them both together.
Thanks SB. Now I’ve got that song as an earworm!
It was my pleasure!
-Winks at the words worm and pleasure in such proximity-
Never paying for a meal, ‘cuz you get plenty of hot protein shakes.
And genital pets, oh-so-cute and tinier than a puppy! Hooray!
More fun than sea monkeys, they are!
“I don’t get why there are people who actually like her.”
Yeah… I remain in the dark as well.
That seems like a most suitable response.
(To Tyler’s “EUUUUGHHH!”, that is.)
I have HUGE troubles getting replies to end up in the right place when it’s near the bottom of the page. i can swear I click on the right “reply” link, but no.
Hey, I got all the way to the bottom and there are no zombies! What happened?
FINE!!! I’ll start the Zombie virus…. hmmm mmmm
How does it go? Digging deep, shutting down brain, thinking how a knee jerk reaction works…. ok got it!!!!
“Where’s the birth certificate?”
He’s a Commie Muslin with ties to the militant wing of the Salvation Army! And he’s taking your jobs!
Is that me or Obama, you’re describing us both.
Obviously you’re a secret worker in Obama’s militant organization, only pretending to be a Moderate in order to throw others off the scent. You’re a major player in the conspiracy, and you probably organize the vast left wing conspiracy that worked to suppress the birth certificate, threw Hillary and her dogs off the trail, and are currently working with every dictator on the planet to make it appear as though Obama is the Messiah and the Anti-Christ all rolled into one. And you smell.
Dang you don’t have to say I smell. I just showered. Besides it’s Tyler who has the skunk in his pants!!!! The rest is totally accurate.
Yeah, but it’s a skunk of ROMANCE. Sheesh. Pepe doesn’t smell, newb!
Pepe le Pew teaching kids that sexual harassment is ok since 1978.
You know it.
Le puff! Le pant! Le mew!
Hmmm…
SB, {http://media.photobucket.com/image/mccain%252527s%20daughter/catholiclouisiana/catholic2/meghanmccain.jpg}
I like Mccain’s daughter. One shot with that girl and REAWR! IT’S ONNNN!
That’s not a bad pic…but she still doesn’t do it for me
{http://www.blogcdn.com/brighthall.aol.com/media/2009/02/83525676—meghan-mccain.jpg}
but SB, this picture provides some perspective on what she COULD have looked like… and what she DOES look like. Hey, at least she’s not all wrinkly