Why can I hear
Why can I hear the “Jaws” music playing in the background…?
(Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama)
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I hear that music all the time.
I’ve suggested that my law office use it as our hold music, but nobody else here has a fscking sense of humor.
I have a suggestion.
BEST story ever.
Punch them in the genitals. They will stop laughing.
For all of those who didn’t get it, link included.
LOL awesome story tyler…
OMG Tyler…I laughed so freaking hard at this…thanks!!! My mailman delivered the wrong mail today. Again. I will punch him in the genitals tomorrow. In fact, from now on, anytime someone displeases me……POW….right in the pisser! I think I sense a movement.
LOL!! That would make the clients go WTF?
No. That would make the clients go, “I KNEW IT!!!!!”
*snort* – good point!
I won’t say that the lawyer that handled my parents estate was a ’shark’, just greedy as all hell. When I had to take care of the estate when they died, I got stuck for over $6,000 and all the guy did was file some paperwork and wrote up an affidavit. Oh wait, maybe he was a shark! After all, he sort of had me between a rock and a hard place.
That stinks. I’m handling probate on a simple estate right now for $1500 + costs, which I thought was embarrassingly exorbitant but it’s what the partners (who actually GET the fees…) told me to charge.
I’ve always heard that the partners decide what fees to charge.
. I like the idea, but not what I’d have to go through to get the degree. Where’d you graduate from Diss?
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Dad wants me to be a lawyer but I can’t stand school
University of Memphis. Law school was actually kinda fun if challenging; actually being a lawyer kinda sucks big hairy smelly balls most of the time.
…which, come to think of it, might explain some of the humorlessness.
My uncle Stuart is a lawyer and you could literally have Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, and Adam Sandler performing right in front of him at their best and he wouldn’t even crack a smile.
Well having to keep a respectful face in front of clients, judges and other lawyers might be part of it? –thinking of the crunchberries lawsuit!
Wow, am I glad I never became a lawyer. I’d be chock full of awkward jokes for my fellow attorneys.
Chock is a wonderful word.
Isn’t it, though? It’s just a great word to say.
You hear it a lot, I’m sure.
*Ohhh… Chyler…nish chock…mppphhh…. mphhhhh…*
ROFL!
So is kayak.
*sighs*
Sorry, my funneh is run dry this sad sad day. Michael Jackson being dead does that to me.
Ah, HST, how wonderful you are, even your trollish comments are nice and familiar
Sorry for all who disagree, but my first thought about Jackson dying was a small spark of glee; what’s one more dead pedophile, more or less?
Then I felt bad. It’s always wrong to be happy over someone else’s death.
@Portland Mark, I won’t miss the pedophilia. The man could sing and dance, that’s all I really liked about him. He was planning a comeback before he died, and possibly some new material. Breaks my heart that we won’t get to hear it.
What annoys me is the way he is being canonised over on roflrazzi…
I have a friend who is convinced he engaged in no pedophilia at all, but whether he did or not it’s clear he had severe emotional problems.
@AC it annoys me too because not two days ago I saw a lol in voting that said something was ’still not as creepy as michael jackson’.
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Meh, I’m mourning the music and kick ass dance moves… not the man.
Jane, I’m with your friend on this one. I really think that Jackson had no clue that what he was doing was wrong in any way. I think that somewhere inside his brain was the little boy that got stunted after making it big, and all he wanted to do was to be a kid again. He just wasn’t able to do that (you know, being an adult and all) and it came off as creepy and weird.
You know, the sad thing is that the first thing my mother and I thought when we heard MJ was dead was that it had to be a publicity stunt. But now I’m not feeling much now that he’s gone. Not really sad, not really upset.
I feel worse about Farrah Fawcet, and I never saw one of her movies.
Inappropriate? No, froofrau, you’re being ignorant. It’s ignorant. You’re being ignorant!
My mother said that since I like to argue so much, I should have been a lawyer. I told her I didn’t want to have to eat people. *sigh* She didn’t get it. So I punched her in the genitals. (Ok, I really didn’t, but that monkey thing was FUNNY!)
I know some fun lawyers- for instance, my elementary school best friend’s dad is a lawyer, a surfer, a huge Red Sox fan, he plays violin and piano (and I think he is learning guitar), he is a classic-fantasy book nerd, and he has a doctorate in philosophy to go with his one in law.
He is also really soft spoken and can bake AWESOME cookies.
Show me on the doll where the nice lawyer-man touched you, Zoreta.
I’ve got a conditional place for law+French (one more B!) but I don’t particularly want to be a lawyer. I don’t know what job availability is like in the states, but here I know people being paid not to work for a year since there are far too many lawyers…
They would PAY me to NOT work for a year in Scotland?!? *considers moving*
*hides in diss’s luggage*
She suspects nothing.
I think she’ll notice at the airport!
*in her best Stewie Griffin voice*
Blast! You shall pay for foiling my plans paws4thot. I’ll see to it!
If you do this, come up and see me some time Diss.
Yay! AC is coming to the states?! (That is all Tyler heard)
No, is staying firmly in the land of wet and mist and cold. Apologies if I didn’t word it properly: I’m trying to type while ignoring my sister AND being polite to her. She is having fun making my door creak over and over and over again inbetween telling me the plot of the new ugly betty, the scary bits in coraline and the jokes from shes the man. At 100 miles an hour. She’s been eating something sugary.
*cracks up completely at AC’s description of her sister’s behavior!*
She’s nice. Just tiring. (Apparently she has to be here since her door doesn’t creak.)
Oh, I understood that. I just *chose* to hear “Hey I’m coming to the US to be a lawyer!” because it’s oh so much more fun!
And tell your sister that if she doesn’t stop there will be a giant monster who comes to attack tonight and says grawrbligrawr logic and stuff. Tell her the monster is 16, and is mean to hyperactive little girls. 
Younger sister? if so, then “being annoying” is part of the job description, right after “successfully blaming older sibling for your misdemeanours”.
Don’t forget, it includes younger brothers too. -grumble grumble-
She could be worse… She’s 14 and her friends are fangirls…
Fangirls?
-Twitch-
Hold on, I can help you with that. Let me get the sniper and scythe.
Think positive; 3 months to college and counting AC.
*grabs Robert Pattinson*
*tosses him in front of AC’s sister’s friends*
Take him away!!!!
Cmon, Cap’n. He dislikes the books too, and as some disparaging remarks about them out there in the news.
Really? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t “get” the Twilight craze but I think it’s a bit hypocritical to take the money and fame and turn your nose up at the means that’s providing it. I mean, whatever his personal feelings he should keep quiet about it. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you and all that.
Really? I like him 10x better for it.
Plus, it probably went along with him somewhere criticizing the millions of crazy fans that stalk him each day. I can imagine why he might say somethin’.
That’s true, but I kinda feel that you shouldn’t aspire to be in a movie teenage girls will love if you don’t want to get stalked by them. That sort of thing goes hand in hand with fame. I would never want to be famous for that reason. That being said, he does deserve his privacy when he’s on his own time. I only meant that it’s not very smart on his part to come out against Twilight when he’s in it for three more movies and boatloads of cash.
Is that where John Grisham went or does he just use it in his novels? I just read “The Rainmaker” two weeks ago.
He went to Mississippi State and Ole Miss Law School. Big fan of Grisham.
But a lot of his characters have degrees from Memphis and Tulane and his alma mater.
because they’re lawyers. i only know of ONE lawyer who has a sense of humor. and he’d probably make his hold music the jaws theme if you suggested it to him.
Only ONE? *is hurt*
DOH! i know TWO.
Why are you hurt? How do you know you aren’t the ONE (heh… NEO).
Well, she said “he” and she knows I’m a “she”, so I correctly assumed she was referring to somebody else!
I deliver to a lot of lawyers offices, and I’ve seen them of every type. I can think of a few that are so tight they can swallow a quarter and poop pennies. And a few I do my best to sneak in and out before they know I’m there because I know my boots aren’t deep enough for the bull that’s coming.
Most of the female lawyers seem (not all) to be either Momma types, or trying to win the slut of the week dress code award.
Well, I know at least 3, including you.
Maybe it depends on what sort of law one does?
I know one, too. Wonder if it is the same one. He tells the BEST lawyers jokes. As well as the best stories about his clients (with all the names changed to protect the innocent of course.) My fave is the one about the client who fell in love with a donkey at the zoo. He swears to it. Great guy to have a beer with but don’t let him be president either.
ROTFLMFAO!
Dadun Dadun Dadun Dadun Dadun. It’s Hillary!!!
Yay, a funneh
Political Photobomb for the WIN!
Someone mentioned wills and probate along with the exorbant fees some attorneys charge……. ever heard of revocable trusts? Saves court fees, probate fees, lawyer fees thus leaving everything except taxes for the inheritors not to mention the court time involved in waiting for a will to be probated. Usually more than a year. Why people still insist on paying a lawyer to draw up a will then pay him/her again to execute it is a mystery to me. Just saying ~~~~~~~
My parents had a living trust which made things a hell of a lot easier. Since I was the only one left, there wasn’t much to do in the way of trying to figure out how to split things up. My suggestion is to go that route. My parents had everything in the trust, so all I had to do was carry around the affidavit (that I paid $6,000 for) and take care of their accounts.
Why won’t a shark eat a politician?
Professional Courtesy.
Ok, I heard this one but with Lawyers.. on that note, what do you call 300 politicians chained together at the bottom of the ocean? A good start..
Actually, I heard one shark tried, but couldn’t get the bad taste out of it’s mouth for a week.
Guys! Linky!
Holy crap, it’s a bad week for celebrities.
MJ is dead. Tell me I am sad.
wow I logged a comment and PK didn’t pick it up — MJ must be pissed at me.
There’s weirdness everywhere, Charlie.. My posts appear to get eaten, but if I do a back and refresh they magically appear.
Its the Tonight Charlie’s Angels are gonna Thrill ya psych PK edition.
Yeah, but I won’t get to see it until 6 months from now when it will be old news.. *sigh*
Dude. Much to my surprise, that does make me sad. Thriller was the first album I ever owned. And when I say album, I mean ALBUM, as in LP. Some of you kids (I’m talking to you, Tyler) have probably only seem them in museums or something.
It’s like the end of an era or something… Was he just getting ready to go on tour too?
Yeah, I think so. Despite all the extreme weirdness, plastic surgeries, and child molestation allegations, I actually feel BAD for him. Alas, I can put that sadness aside since tomorrow should have been my daughter’s due date and I want to save up my sadness for that.
*hugs Eric-in-STL*
Thanks, guys. The support groups say the anticipation of the day is usually worse than the day itself. I hope that’s true.
I hope I don’t offend you, but I will certainly be praying for you a dn your family. God Bless.
That doesn’t offend me at all. Thank you.
Same here, Eric.
{{{{{Eric-in-STL}}}}}
i’ll light a candle for you & yours tonight
*hugs*
MJ killed albums, seriously he really did!
Gee, and to think I remember him as little Michael in the Jackson 5.. God I feel old.. Hell, he was younger than me!
Eddie, NOBODY is older than you! :beer:
Cheers!
I’m guessing it’s TOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!elebenty!!11!! for the MJ jokes?
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*waits*
Yeah, probably.
Do you have any?
Only one, but I’ll wait for the appropriate time.
What’s the difference between Jackson and Fawcett? About three hours.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
hell, handbasket, etc.
As much bad publicity as that man got, and even with those nasty allegations against him, it actually seems that America is kinda hurt by Michael’s death.
Let’s face, he really did put out some damn good music. I may not have thought much of him as a person (in his later years anyway) but I did enjoy his music. I don’t recall anyone ever saying he was overrated.
I remember absolutely LOVING both Thriller and Bad. I’m not much into pop anymore, so it’s not the same for me now, but the 80’s were a very MJ time for me.
Oh, btw, if you want to see some extremely sick and twisted exploitation, head over to Entertainment Tonight’s website where they have a pic of MJ heading to the hospital and pics of Latoya showing up to the hospital totally freaking out. I hope whoever took those pics gets food poisoning and spends the next several days puking their guts out. Losers.
Didn’t look, but then are you really surprised? I’m not.. It’s all about who can be the most morbid.
And who can get a paycheck from the pop culture mags/sites. Which is why I’m not looking.
At least, I’m not looking now that you told us. I confess that I HAVE been following the news, though–so it isn’t an ‘I’m better than you’, ok?
Not looking? Good. That was what I was aiming for actually.
To be honest, I was more upset when John Lennon was killed. Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I just felt like Lennon had more of a social concience than MJ.
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But hey, I could be wrong.. just sayin’
I was 2 when Lennon was killed. Just sayin’
Damn you’re young..
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Now get the hell off my lawn.. fricken kids these days..
If it makes you feel any better, I probably did cry when Lennon was killed. Although it was probably for a poopie diaper.
No, actually it doesn’t. Because for all practical purposes, I could be your dad.. makes me feel even older.. thanks heaps, mate!
i feel so old now! thanks eric
Paul McCartney is 67. 3 years past “When I’m 64.” Now THAT is pretty f’ed up.
Did anyone notice that when that gold-digging whore Mills divorced him…he was 64? Irony, anyone?
Who’s John Lennon?
Seriously or are you just playing with us?
*bats eyelashes coyly*
Why, whatever do you mean, eds?
LOL! Just as I suspected..
I remember that day well. I was 10.
Incidentally, my mother played “American Pie” and “Imagine” a gazillion times and cried pretty much the whole week. Christmas was a bit stilted that year…
I’m not to proud to admit that it upset me. I played through every Beatles album, cassette, and 8 Track I owned. That was a very sad day.. At my age, there have been other notable one’s as well.
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10, huh? Whippersnapper.. Now get off my lawn!
I was 18–my class wanted ‘Imagine’ played at the senior prom, but the band was so lame that they played the tape.
–Now all of you kids get the $#&& off of my lawn, too!
Viking, nobody’s older than Eddie. Don’t be silly.
Uncle Fester is, but he hasn’t been around for a bit.
SHHH…
Is this how it was in your days, guys? Link.
I was old then, and I’m old now!!
Get off my lawn!! (loved that movie…)
I was 16. And yes, I cried.
I think I was 1. He was killed in ‘81, right?
1980..
What month?
December 8th..
I was six months old then.
*makes note to self: sons are about the right age for this one.. and what a catch too! Oh wait, except for the dad.. that could be a problem..*
Nah, she’s all grow’d up.
Yeah, Charlie’s at the point he’d probably throw me at them.
My mother & father frequently attempt to *literally* toss my unconscious body at females my age.
And with that thought hanging in the air.. g’night, Janie! I’m outta here for the night..
I hadn’t been born yet, Eddie. Do I need to get off your lawn with the top priority?
*gets the hose and turns on the water*
-Stands in protest until the sweater comes off-
God, I think I’m actually a robot. Link.
With utmost speed. For even in the absence of Fester, you still have VG and me to contend with..
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*hooks up the firehose stashed behind the garage for emergencies*
Hush, Eddie. No matter how hard you may powerhose my flesh away, I’m not leaving until VG’s teacher-appropriate sweater comes off!
I was 8 months old. Well, almost 8 months old.
I wasn’t even being thought about when John Lennon was killed.
I think my Dad may have been thinking about sex, just not for making the babies….
Now I know how the boomers feel, when I point out that there is a photo of me in my onesie in front off JFK’s funeral on the television!
Yeah, I was actually a bit older and still remember Uncle Walter telling us the news.
WHOA! Thanks for the quick news. I can hardly believe it…though I must admit that I like the parodies of his song even better than the originals. Weird Al did an awesome job with “Beat it” and “Bad”, so good that MJ was a fan himself. And the Winsongs-95-version of “I want you back” is just epic!
I used to listen to Dr. Demento relgiously, mostly because I wanted to hear Weird Al’s version of My Bologna.. the guy is epic in everyway..
I always loved Alien Ant Farm’s version of Smooth Criminal much better than the original.
Oooooooh, I forgot about that version.. yeah, I agree!
Yes I heard the original and I was like… wait a second, MJ did it first? This kinda sucks.
I liked AAF’s version much better too. I dunno. :/
Michael Jackson and his Jackson Structured Design Methodology is no more!?
According to Jackson, if a group of programmers followed his methodology correctly they would all come with identical solutions for a given software problem. When he put this to the test with a group of students, they did indeed come up with identical solutions, Unfortunately it wasn’t the same solution that the great man came up with himself.
Ed McMahon yesterday, too. The Rule of Three satisified in one day. Creepy and sad.
Nope, Ed McMahon was on Tuesday.
i actually loled!
Ok, it should be “Why DO I hear the …..” Sorry, it was bothering me.
OMG, yes. That was bothering me too
It’s like he’s asking for a scientific explanation about how hearing works…
I’m torn. I want her to get him, but at the same time I don’t want Biden near the Oval Office… what to do, what to do.
two for one maybe?
Well, that would leave Nancy Pelosi in charge.
Oh geez! Can we save Obama and feed Biden and Pelosi to the ’shark’?
HELL no. I want to see Biden’s America! That would be some crazy shit!
It’s been done. See Mike Judge’s “Idiocracy.”
Of course if she is able to find a way to knock off Obama, Biden. Pelosi and Byrd all in one swoop, she’ll finally be President. I hear Dealey Plaza is lovely around Thanksgiving time.
*comes in with a single tear for a piece of my childhood gone. A moment where a single mother and her son would sing and dance together. A simpler time a little less sparkling clear. Gone in an instance and then put behind like all the toys of Christmas past and younger days for the banality of adult living. Does a rendition of Smooth Criminal’s dancing and leaves to continue the MJathon with Lynn to relive some days before adulthood and even teenage years…*
Rest well and in Peace, Michael Jackson, your music did a lot for my mother and I when we needed a smile just to get through the day.
The best part of his legacy is the fact that aside from everone else who may have a story, your’s is unique to you. Keep a hold of those memories and never let them go, you will appreciate them later on in life.
I already do. It was before my mother and I lost our ability to talk without annoying the hell out of each other and we were so dirt poor we appreciated any and every good turn to come our way.
DWN!
we misses you!
And by “we” I mean the voices in my head, of course.
Miss you too, Lynn is showing Mikey Thriller for the first time now.
Be sure to let us know what he thinks of that!
Please god if he does the dance send us the video!
Yes because that would be super cute. I used to do thriller, and video evidence does exist… somewhere, in front of the TV.
WIN.
When I was a kid Vincent Price’s voice would scare the absolute bejeezus out of me. Strangely enough (given my current abject fear of them) the zombies didn’t scare me but MJ looking back with those yellow werewolf eyes was creepy!
Mikey seems to like Smooth Criminal WAY better as he was spooked by the zombies. It’s kinda cute, he would turn on Thriller and then run to the couch and hide under a cushion.
*hugs DWN* We miss you buddy!
I miss ya’ll too. *huggle*
That was so eloquent and reminded me of my single mom days dancing around with my baby boy. Nicely done dwn.
PC, thank you for that utterly ADORABLE mental image.
Well I was a baby boy once so I can appreciate your memory. Single moms bust their ass, the ones that care at least, so you are definitely an awesome person to me. You are most welcome.
maybe the jaws of life can get the country out of this administration
I think his policies will do that.
It looks like Adolf Obama is smiling because Hitlery is wearing her ribbed strap on.
HEIL OBAMA!
Dude, seriously. Come up with an intelligent criticism of Obama, then get back to us.
Like, why did Obama campaign on transparency of government, and now that he’s elected, he wants to keep the visitor logs to the White House secret? I *hated* that about the Bush White House, and I am very unhappy that Obama is keeping it going!
In honor of Godwin’s Law, a Wanging from the Who. *ahem*
I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my Wang and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again
No, no!
*applauds*
Nice, I can almost hear Keith Moon drumming along..
lol!!!!!