And if I ever catch the person
And if I ever catch the person who put sand in my Preparation H….
(Dick Cheney)
Picture by: dunno source. Caption by: fastfood via Advanced Lol Builder
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Cheezburger Network Blog
I think I did.
Lulz teh roids.
Figures he’d have hemorrhoid problems… that’s what you get when you wipe your a$$ with the Constitution for 8 years!
It looks like his mouth is starting to shrink and tighten up. He does know the Prep-H is not taken orally?
You know it’s going to be a bad day when you discover that your awful tasting toothpaste is actually Preparation H…
There was Watergate, Travelgate, Troopergate, and now …
Colgate?
Tooth Paste Win!
A bad day is when you accidentally use your wife’s Nair as shampoo. And then you put some toothpaste up your butt. Boy does THAT burn!
You really know how to put the procto in Procter & Gamble .
On the other hand, your farts for the day are minty-fresh!!
One time in college, when I was showering, I accidently used my girlfriends Summer’s Eve feminine wash on my head instead of conditioner. I felt like a real douche.
LOL!
Mom and daughter walking on the beach:
“Mom, why do women douche?”
“Well, honey…have you noticed all the pellicans following you?”
– George Carlin
Ouch.
LOL!
im only 12 and wat is this ???
Behold, Dick Cheney, former Vice President. Preparation H is a hemorrhoid ointment that eases the pain on your bottom. Sand would make this much more painful…
If I had my choice, I’d put metal shavings in it for him…
metal shavings and the little pieces of burnt toast crumbles that always end up in the bottom of the toaster. And sawdust.
Ouch.
And glass slivers.
And Tobasco.
Can’t forget a touch of fiberglass insulation and just a pinch of Texas Pete’s Hot Sauce…you know…for flavor.
and wasabi, don’t forget wasabi.
….oh, wait. That wasn’t even Preparation H. It was Ben-Gay.
One of my friends retaliated from a prank by rubbing icy hot in the crotch of the guy’s briefs. By the time he was down the driveway, off to work he was screaming in pain.
Classic Revenge of the Nerds… {link}
I’ve never seen that movie! After the link, I know I have to
How does one escape from the 80’s without having seen any of the Revenge of the Nerds movies?
I was born in ‘86
I’ve seen bits and pieces just not all the way through. Though this weekend I plan to remedy that!
Ah, you’re a young ‘un then.
revenge of the ners – nerds in paradise is a cinematic classic…
you’re in for a treat, Cpt.
great movies, chock full of classic 80’s goodness
Having Graduated high school in ‘87… I lived my “formative years” with most of the ’80s greats…Here’s a few you should check out, Capt….
Weird Science
Weekend at Bernie’s
Breakfast Club
Fast Times at Ridegemont High
Mannequin
16 Candles
Pretty in Pink…
…just a few off the top of my head…
Porky’s
*slaps hand for hitting send before finishing*
Porky’s
Any of the Police Academy movies
Back to the Future
Footloose
Top Gun
Stand by Me and Lean on Me are some of my favorite films from the 80’s. They have nothing to do with each other despite having old songs for titles.
For silliness also check out…
Secret of my Success with Michael J. Fox
Jumping Jack Flash with Whoopi Goldburg
Beverly Hills Cop and The Golden Child with Eddie Murphey
And I’m sure there are more from my taped from cable on the VHS collection that I’m not remembering.
The Golden Child was great, but don’t leave out the horror classics:
The Thing
The Blob
The Fly 1 & 2
Xtro 2 (skip the first one)
Invaders from Mars
The Stuff
Masters of the Universe (ok, not horror but entertaining)
Gremlins (the first one scared the crap out of me)
Critters 1 & 2 (the rest were crap)
& The Gate (awesomeness!!)
Anyway, just felt like sharing
(I missed most of the 80’s because I was living in Germany at the time but my grandmother was taping everything she could and mailing us tons of movies as they came out on VHS).
Beverly Hills Cop!! I know what I’m watching tonight!!!
@ Wallfly:
Can’t forget these:
Nightmare on Elm Street
Hellraiser
The Lost Boys
The Goonies
The Karate Kid…
…ohhh the list is endless…all that 80’s cheesy goodness….
Top Gun convinced me that Tom Cruise was gay–the ‘romance’ had no zing AT ALL, but the bromance was convincing. Of course I recently found out that Kelly McGillis is a woman-oriented-woman, as they said in the 20’s and 30’s. So that explains a lot…although I still wonder about Tom Cruise. But the rest of the movie was entertaining!
Hey MG, I’m not gonna fall for no banana in no tailpipe!
I have no idea how I did it, but this is the first I knew there ever even was more than one (which I’ve never seen).
It was just one of those ubiquitous 80’s movie series that if you had cable (and I lived on military posts, so I did) then they were on all the time. Like Police Academy.
finally some content based on actual news
*looks around then runs* Wasn’t me…
It wasn’t me – but only for lack of access. I think that turnabout is fair play, after all, he put sand in the Vaseline before bending us all over.
i didn’t get bent over. i must have been absent that day.
*picks up notepad*
*puts on reading glasses*
Did that make you feel….rejected, morecowbell?
*peers inquiringly over top of reading glasses*
not really. i’m a top.
No, you just spent most of that day on your knees.
well, i have been told i’m the bees knees
You got Vaseline? Bloody favoritism!
Now, take my case. They hung me up here eight years ago. Every night, they give me a half-hour break, then they hang me up again, which I regard as very fair, in view of what I done, and, if nothing else, it’s taught me to respect the Republicans, and it’s taught me… that you’ll never get anywhere in this life, unless you’re prepared to do a fair day’s work for a fair day’s pay!
Always look on the bright side of life….
If one were to actually look at the opening of a Prep-H tube, one would find it incredibly hard to actually get any sand in there.
And do you Frunobulax2099 have extensive knowledge of Preparation H?
And two, this is Dick Cheney we’re talking about here. One would go through great lengths just to piss him off.
I know I would.
Suicide Blonde is clearly literally suicidal.
Yeah, that bitch is crazy.
Hayyy! Don’t call SB suicidal! How horrible can you be making fun of depressed people like that! How cruel!
heheheheh…
/caretroll more
No, but why would you piss off the man who shot a high-profile rich friend in the FACE while hunting for “quail”?
Dick probably buys it in the 55 gallon drum.
did he die?
people like that cannot die… they return as liches and wreak havok on a poor unsuspecting world with armies of undead.
it’ll happen! 2012!! omg, the end is nigh!!
Oh, that expression. (^_^) “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling… ow? Oww? Something seems dreadfully amiss here…”
Okay, even Cheney doesn’t deserve that kind of abuse. (Winces in sympathy)
Yes, yes he does.
although i typically agree with you PM, in this instance i think i have to back ivan. unless cheney does something drastically different in the next few days, that is.
i have to admit though, he was hosting the annual Radio and Television Correspondents Association dinner i went to back in 2008 and was actually pretty damn funny. i linked to an article that has some of the snippets.
I hate to tell you, Dick, but that’s not Prep H… Talk to Mr. T about Eddie Murphy…
Somebody stole his banana.
Anniee, you are freakin terrific. This website wouldn’t survive without you.
You are correct sir. No website is EVER complete without a troll. Or a bitter, disagreeable bitch, at the very least. Luckily, she fills both rolls admirably.
You don’t ever read Hello Kitty Hell, do you? “darlene” on there is the very epitome of the bitter, disagreeable troll bitch, and the site is vastly improved when she’s not there, or at least if you can learn to ignore her.
paws, thanks for the suggestion – very entertaining site! my favorite so far is a mix between the hello kitty assault rifle (seriously?!) and the hello kitty suicide pics (those are hilarious)
i feel bad for the guy though, man, what a nightmare. and darlene is an idiot.
Holy jumped up jesus on a stick! I perused a few entries on the HKH site, and that darlene is … really something. LOL Possible bot, with programming to indicate positivity for anything “HK” and negative for … everyone else?
Hey, I thought I was your bitter, disagreeable bitch…
*sniffs loudly*
Nope. You’ve grown on me.
Maybe Dick’s banana wasn’t stolen. Maybe it just went up so far he couldn’t reach it.
You mean it joined its buddy the potato?
My hat’s off to him, then. I imagine it would take some incredible dexterity to accomplish that maneuver.
racist!
fruitist!
fruitionist!