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I was the only person ever to serve in all three branches of the Federal Government. And the only thing you dorks can remember about me is that damn bathtub.
(William Howard Taft)
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I’m fairly sure he’s not the only person. I mean, c’mon.
Maybe the only president, though.
Besides, he’s fat.
Also, he was the last bewhiskered president to date.
I wasn’t planning on dating him!
Run viking gal! Zombie Taft is coming to date you!
*watches zombie taft lumber by*
BRRRAIIIIINZ!
*trips him and whistles walking away like nothing happened*
*Taft stops at Eric*
*Taft sniffs*
*Taft grumbles and keep walking*
BRRRAAAIIINNNNZZZ!!!
*grabs cricket bat*
*points to Eric*
You’ve got red on you.
O_O
successful troll is successful
person who can’t read any prior threads and thus realize eric is a regular making them look like an idiot looks idiotic.
I was gonna say. Since when am I a troll, much less a successful one?
I was writing it off as either a nesting fail or random crazy.
Dire Straights?
No, Shaun of the Dead.
Sure, you say that NOW!
How shall I put it… OK, in gentleman, I prefer the Fred Astair build to the Marlon Brando!
**In bad husky Italian accent** You disrepect me. You disrepect the Family
You know, I read his wiki page too, but I could swear Grant had the beard when he was president.
Grant was before Taft. Yeah, it looked like they meant ‘the only president ever,’ but on rereading, it just said the last president to date to have facial hair.
Um…dude, the only way that you could serve in all three branches of the government is to be the president. So the statement is true. He was an Ohio Senator, a President and a Chief Justice of the Supreme court.
There is no other way to serve in all three branches. Being a member of the President’s Cabinet does not count because it is not part of the Executive branch of the Government.
Who says the president’s cabinet doesn’t count, or even the White House maid?
Everyone working in the Executive Branch is “serving” there just as much as the president himself.
Anyone who works for the government but not in the judiciary or in the Congress works for the Executive Branch. In fact most of the government’s employees work for the executive branch which executes government policies.
PoliSci 101, FTW!
That’s what I remember, too.
I am licensed to teach US government, after all. Oh and I did serve at the pleasure of the President for 23 years, 1 month and 15 days, but who counts, anyway.
Pleasured the who… whut…? For how long…?
Oh, and if you are going to pleasure someone, it might as well be the President…that’s why I was hoping Hilary would win — although do you think a blue tux would work as well as a blue dress?
Man in tux? Would work for me!!
You could be President and I could be an intern.
Intern, I need you to come to my office and… Take some notes. Yeah, that’s it, take some notes!
*Whatever should I wear?*
*grins evilly*
Uh oh, where is my tape recorder….
If you’re thinking of your dress blues I’m not sure you can fit in them anymore.
Dress blues? Almost as good as a tux!
At the *pleasure* of the President? Oh, he means Clinton.
(just kidding)
Actually, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton and Bush. All officers of government, from Cabinet Secretary on down, regardless of branch are appointed by the President, confirmed by the Senate and serve at the pleasure of the President. Our government continues to maintain some linguistic 19th Century idiosyncrasies.
Let’s not forget Tricky Dick Nixon, shall we?
We’ll never forget — but, Eddie, my friend, I was recounting the fact that for 23 plus years that I served the President of the USA — five men occupied that office, yet I, like all of my fellow Officers served one President.
Pleasured… served…. president & the intern…
*bunks*
Back to the shower, James…You need more practice.
Sorry, I was doing a shift on you. But yes, you would be correct. We may not have liked the occupant, but we sure as hell respected the position.
Ah… I get’ya — I’m a little rusty, ya know.
oh toh, do you have an article of clothing with a “mystery stain” too?
Vice president doesn’t count? I just looked it up, and cabinet members an executive agencies are part of the executive branch too.
Correction, you can still serve in the Executive Branch without being the president. VP is int he executive and so are most of the people who work in the OEOB and the West Wing.
Also he was not Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, he was Chief Justice of the United States. There is no Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Look it up.
Three different Tafts have been Senators from Ohio…and none of them were William H.
He is, however, the only person to ever lead both the Executive and Judiciary branches. Just was never a member of Legislative…
This.
Came here to say exactly that. Thank you sir or miss, for being one of the few non-idiots today!
Your continued insistence that “fat” is an epithet/insult and your comments about lesbian zombie daughter of vampires pretty much proves that you’re a moronpsychobitchcretinpotandkettle!!!
Moronic bitchtastic kettle-pot.
Ignoranus fister hypocrap.
Don’t make me make my sky-father come down there.
*angry face*
ooh ooh out of connnnntext! unfairrrr!! Halp!!!
No way, BWahahahaha!
You have no way of judging the intelligence of my anus! Only the sky-father can make that decision, so I’m calling in a favor.
Jesus, is this really rocket surgery?
Verily I say: Yes you, yes you alone, of all mortals, are blessed with the fine motor coordination required to ablate and resect the abscess of the terminally stupid on a political humor web site
STOP ATTACKING EVERY CONSERVATIVE OR CHRISTIAN ON THE SITE YOU IDIOT!
Right coming from a bonehead turd geesh how annoying must be dyslexic or stupid no i am NOT DRINKING!
Passsstth teh zzzanaxxxx….
FROOOOFY FROOOOTHY BIIIIGOOOOOT!!
[nazi]
That was the absolute NASTIEST kind of comment there is, worse than even the calibre of pittyfink’s. But I’m not the slightest embarrassed about my xenophobi — er, I mean my xanax. When I’m looped out of my psychobutthurt mind I’ll YOU, not the other way around.
Ackshidentally.
You’re not faiiiiirrrrrrrr. You judge and mocckkkkkk. You’re a racissttttttt. Yre a biggggggooottt. Yer a soshalis……
*snrxxxxx….snrxxxxxx*
Wait, whuuuuhhh?
Here is the thread I was referring too Anniee. My apologies for getting thread-mixed.
Since PK ate my first response, I’ll repeat myself — Dude, take a breath, hold it… let it out slow. See, even you can chill out a little.
STfu you miserable little b*tch, I wasn’t talking to you; I was asking [pittypat] what in heck she meant by that remark, and for some reason she refuses to answer. Therefore I’m not assuming anything good.
LOL, I guess someone didn’t read all 1,191 comments the other day …
* this little exchange brought to you as an anti-douchebaggery public service announcement from your friends at PK.
We hope you enjoyed this blast from the not-so-distant past.
Google is your FRIEND!
CF has a life, apparently.
My, a little testy, aren’t we. No wonder she won’t answer — you’re to ignorant to comprehend. By the way, I’m not a b*tch… SOB, Pain in the A*s, Pr*ck maybe, but certainly not a b*tch. The only thing people like you can conquer is a shower curtain.
…and someone wonders why no one wants to deal with her.
Sorry, Charlie
If you mean it, I’ll accept the apology, if so, or even if not we’ll move on from there.
Have pity, Pitty: yer leaving me hangin’ here…
What just happened?
Oh oops sorry my comment about being cluster-f’d musta gotten eated.
@Eric: I think CF just out-A’d JTC.
Okay. They’re both very good. I wasn’t sure if this was a joke anymore. They’re that good. LOL
@ Pittypat, sorry, I just find all caps in a discussion very annoying.
I can’t help myself, I have to jump in… it is a bad habit, I do like to have a little fun, too.
@ the whole above thread.
Thanks for making my afternoon!
Charlie, I’m not sure if you realized the above “fight” was all in jest. Go easy on him guys, he’s been gone and doesn’t recognize the current in jokes.
BTW, that was beautiful guys. I think I cried a little bit at the awesomeness.
Musht resisht teh soshalist compliment… it BUUURNNNS!11!
*blinks*
C..cc..comrade Jane?
@Jane I am so, dear… But not QUITE that slow. It took me a little while, but I muddled through — after all, why go through a door when you can go through a wall — C4 can be you friend, but he is a dangerous one.
BTW, James, Jane may have been right *damnit* if I was a tad bit constricted I could apologize. Hell if she likes you, ya gotta be alright…although i could blame it on my age, but that would be wrong.
Da Comrade James! Ve love de People’s United States!
If you two don’t stop it I will pull this car over!!! Do you understand me???
…. Ah, gotta love a little Anniee-flavored thread.
Super hyper win
I honestly don’t know what the heck this ‘bathtub’ incident is. Soemone explain
Not mentioned on Wikipedia. It does say though that he was a Republican, and responsible for the introduction of Federal income tax!
Rumor is that Taft got stuck in a White House bathtub (he was a rather large 330 pounds at the time), and had to get assistance to get out of the thing.
Explanation here:
http://timpanogos.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/fillmore-wasnt-the-only-one-with-white-housebath-tub-troubles/
thanks ed, i was wondering what that was in ref. to
Haha- one branch (the executive) is the presidency itself… silly kid.
Bathtub Man, Bathtub Man,
Does whatever a bathtub can
did he die?
We all do, just that little extra bit when a stupid question gets asked.
Run, eddie! Zombie Taft is coming to get you!
ZOMG!
Well, NOW you see that the question wasn’t so stupid after all.
Yeah, but it was YOU that called out the zombie. Otherwise, it would have remained a stupid question.
No, Alex saw Zombie Taft shambling towards him and, instead of running like any sane person would, he wondered, “Did he die?” and was promptly eaten.
Oh, that explains where the brain went..
Sadly, that happened a great deal while he was alive too.
What? Like I’m the only one doing fat jokes here.
Just tell me once again… who’s fat?
Ja-Jamona…. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEOEOEE!
Ding Dong, yo! Ding Dong!
You want a piece of pizza? I think I got an extra piece here somewhere….
::pulls a piece of pizza our of his jacket pocket::
Mmmmm….Pocket Pizza…..Musty
TOOOOOOOOOO SOON!
*heart asplodes*
Too soon? Are you as old as Eddie?
*ninja vanishes before Eddie can get him*
Eddie isn’t even a Bertram.
*Muahahahahahaha*
erm, please tell us non-Americans who Mr Walrus-man is?
William Taft, he was the 27th President of the United States.
Oh, and as a staunch Republican, I voted for him..
Oh, that explains the staunch.
*pinches nose*
*farts dust* – any other questions?
And he’s apparently lost his bukkit.
I don’t think he’s noticed yet that his bukkit is missing. He looks pretty mellow, still!
Breaking News–Famous Taft tub, really just a gigantic bukkit.
Him: I was the only person ever to serve in all three branches of the Federal Government.
Me: …who?
Him: And the only thing you dorks can remember about me is that damn bathtub.
Me: Oh! It’s Taft! XD
That’s really how it went as I read that…
Excuse the ignorance… What’s this bathtub thing all about?
Taft was so fat, he got stuck in a bathtub in the White House, so he had one big enough for four installed. True story.
With a penis!
*misses DWN*
in bed.
Wait, that makes even less sense.
Waterbed.
Ah, well played. LOL
Oops. Forgot to change out the e-mail. Yeah, that’s me and not an imposter. LOL
Good. Imposters as of late make me depressed on this site, Eric.
Uhm, if memory serves, that comment has been retired. But feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
Homage. Deal with it.
You are not wrong. We officially retired it.
With a penis got retired? My god…. I have missed a lot.
Only because DWN left us. It was a respect thing.
When did he do that? Geez, go out of town for awhile and people stop being there when you get back….
Friday; it was his last day on his contract job. He said he’ll still be around some, just not nearly as much.
i miss him already
Dammit, Seth! I had that one! LOL
Really?
I laughed at that… Shouldn’t be mocking the afflicted (awful person that I am) but still, I find it funny…
Taft was a very large man. The fattest president in US history, and he had an extra large tub installed in the White House that he is famous for. And in classic American shallowness, he’s known more for being fat than for anything that happened in his presidency.
Yeah, but honestly, what other country has perfected it to a science? Us, baby! USA! USA!
Every time I read “Taft”, I start to hear the theme music from “Shaft” in my brain. (really bad ’70’s movie for you young folk).
Who’s the presidential one
Who almost weighs 1/4 ton…
TAFT!
[Damn faaat man]
Who’s the super blubber man
Got his ass stuck while in the can…
TAFT!
[They had to pry it]
Who’s the pres that just pigs out
When there’s good food all about…
TAFT!
[chow on]
You see this Taft’s a BAADDD muncher
[Shut your piehole]
But I’m talkin’ bout TAFT!
[Then g'won pig out]
He’s a big, corpulent man
But no one understands him but his cook… and baker.
BILL TAFT!
*bows to James the Conquerer*
All hail the lyricist!
This one writes itself.
But thanks!
Wow. That’s just… I think I love you for that.
I think *I* love him for that…in a totally heterosexual way.
James, he came, he saw, he pwned Taft.
That was so incredibly full of fail.
Thanks! I do try…
Given that you re-wrote it on the fly, that is brilliant.
Been there, done that etc over on ICHC, so I know!
Taft was never part of the legislative branch; only the judicial and the executive. Robert Taft, Kingsley Taft, and Robert Taft Jr. were all Ohio senators, but William H. Taft was never a senator or congressman. If you go by the definition that the executive branch is only the president (and vice-president) then Taft is the only one to serve in both the judicial and executive branches. If the executive branch includes the cabinet then there are several who have been in every branch. Taft was also the only person to lead both the executive branch and judicial branch as president and chief justice. Also Taft was the only president to have ever sworn in other presidents (Coolidge and Hoover).
Just goes to show the kinds of political “wonks” that hang out here — 80 comments until someone points out that the caption is wrong.
Each branch hold more than just the top offices, the legislative holds more than just Senators and Representatives, the Judicial hold more than Judges (at several levels besides the Supreme) and the Executive, the largest, holds more than the President and VP. The oddest position is that of VP, and while former VP Cheney did distort it to the extreme (as he had a knck for doing with anything) The position of VP as both Vice and President of the Senate, caused significant debate in the ratification process. Thomas Jefferson had quite an interesting take on the position in a letter to Elbridge Gerry while he (TJ) was John Adams vice.
So what was Taft’s position in the legislative branch?
As far as I know, he didn’t have one.
Capitol Rotunda.
Does the Congress have a version of the Kame Sutra that we don’t know about? I guess what I mean is don’t ask about positions if you don’t want to hear the answer. If you don’t believe me, just ask Ken Starr.
You took the words out of my mouth. I got very excited over this <3. you can be my hero today.
Hey, this is really funny! Oh…wait…no, it’s not. *sigh*
does it make you feel better that i dont even remember that?
You guys get weird when I am not around…
Just trying to keep the perverse and twisted spirit of PK alive without you, man. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.
Perverse? Twisted? Did someone say my first and last names?
Two and a half words: Salmon P. Chase.
Chief Justice of the US
Secretary of War (During the Civil War)
Senator from Ohio.
The trifecta.
Marry me and have my children. You are southern, right?
‘cuz you got a purty mouf.
Squeal like a pig, boy…
i won’t squel like a pig, but i’ll duel you with a banjo, because i’m the best there ever was
Wasn’t that a fiddle, not a banjo?
Wallfly has created a mutant hybrid of Dueling Banjos and Devil Went Down to Georgia.
Now this is funny. Good work to whoever captioned this.
I like how so many people here know so much about government and all they can do with their vast volumes of knowledge is brag about it online, and not even an info site
It’s because it’s the bathtub you used to give all that amazing head to get you those titles.
I am 12 years old and what is this?
… Ah, I give up on explaining.
The thing I remember W. H. Taft for is having a great-grandson who I believe holds the record for most-disliked governor of Ohio (at least in recent history). And, also, having a great-grandson (the governor) with a very funny laugh.
Oh, and, being President and Chief Justice, too.
Hmmmm, James the Conqueror… The Presidency (executive) IS one of the three branches of government so only a president could make this claim. The other two are the legislative branch (House of Representatives and The Senate) and the Judicial (Supreme Court). There are many people under the president, though, so if you look at it that way then there may have been others that were in all three. I think most people, though, look at the executive branch of government as The President
Read above.
It’s been discussed already, comment in that nest.
What bathtub?
See above explanations.
It’s sort of a shame how shallow we’ve become as a country. A large man, or a man with facial hair could never achieve the Presidency no matter how qualified, and no matter what party he was in.
What makes you think we’re more shallow? Photos were much less common at the time when Taft became president and TV and film were both a ways off. It’s entirely possible we’re no more shallow now and that we simply have more access to views of our candidates than we used to.
Well we are more shallow when it comes to just about everything else, why not voting?
Yes, yes, kids today, with their punk music and their lack of facial hair, get off my lawn and so forth.
How many women, black guys, and/or Catholics were serious presidential contenders back in Taft’s day?
I…um… agree with this. Dear god the world is going to end.
There has been a rip in the time/space continuum and we are all doomed by heathen creatures entering through the portal. Aside from that, I agree with Dhoti as well.
Dhoti has been really good recently, citing quite a bit of source material and generally behaving himself. Color me impressed.
Nah. Lawn-rage is universal.
I live in the southwest and I don’t even have a lawn, you insensitive clod! What am I supposed to say? “You kids get off my gravel and cacti” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
Seth, you can always go with “You kids get outta my yard!”
Oh, I lol’d because it’s true.
We all know correlation is not equal to causation, but you have to admit — isn’t it interesting how that correlates to your self-imposed shun?
Whoever said I don’t have facial hair, Dhoti?
I mean really, look- my hair is so long in my picture I accidentally ate a bit of it, doesn’t that count as hair in/on/around my face?
The worst part of that is that the Bathtub is a myth. I always remember that he was the first president to go everywhere in an Automobile.
Well, he DID have a bathtub for four installed.
*wink wink*
I thought it was Millard Fillmore that brought the bathtub into the White House?
You’re thinking of “Mallard” Fillmore.
He’s a cartoon duck.
Actually, the story about Fillmore being the first President to install a tub was a hoax started as a joke by H.L. Mencken. Millard Fillmore was, however, the President who opened trade with Japan and also started the White House library, as he was disappointed not to find any books when he moved in.
*shakes fist at the sky* FILLMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought that happened when President Obama moved in, also — that and for some reason all of the W’s were missing from the keyboards.
The missing W’s happened from Clinton to Bush II, I didn’t hear that about Obama.
actually, the missing W’s never happened, either. It was made up by the Republicans (or someone) to make the Dems (or someone) look bad. It’s all lies. Don’t believe anything you see, hear, or read.
The cake. Always!
Technically, yes, Fillmore sent Admiral Perry with his fleet of ‘Black Ships’ to bombard the Japanese into opening trade with us. However, Perry did not reach Japan and complete his mission of gunboat diplomacy until Pierce had replaced Fillmore as president.
I’m aware; seems like the guy that sent Perry should get the (perhaps dubious) honors rather than the guy who happened to be in office when he got there.
True. But Pierce was just as much of an aggressive expansionist as Fillmore was. He could have stopped Perry if he’d wanted to. I say they both share the dubious honor.
Fair enough.
He also invented the 7th inning stretch.
Only because he wanted some peanuts AND crackerjacks. Greedy greedy Taft.
I actually did a major research paper on Taft vs. Roosevelt on Tariffs. Interesting guy, his wife pushed him to run for nomination, while he just wanted to continue being the lawyer he was.
I’m glad Him noticed the error, that Taft had never served in the legislative branch (even as an aide).
Great career otherwise, though, no? He also played a big role in the design and construction of the Supreme Court building, and may be portrayed in the sculpture there . . .
Embarrassing typo — shoulda been “Jim” who posted the comment noting the error
It’s funny… I don’t think of the bathtub thing first… I think of the fact he was the only president that surfed. Unless Obama surfs… then we’d have two surfer presidents.
Taft was not the only person to serve in all three branches of U.S. government. John Marshall was a member of the US House of Representatives (Legislative), Secretary of State (Executive), and Chief Justice of the Supreme Court (Judicial). John Marshall was also a captain in the revolutionary war, an ambasador to France, and is credited by most for creating the power of our Judicial system (Marbury v. Madison).
This picture helped me win a bar trivia contest. d^^b Thanks, President Taft!