IF THIS WAS JESUS
IF THIS WAS JESUS
He’d put seats in all that waster space and invite the poor to fly with him
(Pope Benedict XVI)
Picture: dunno source, Caption: Jameister, Via Poster Builder.
You May Like:
Show Only: Democrats | Republicans | Media | Military
« Previous Ah! Now we see the violence inherent in the system! | That’s right, folks! Next »
» 627 comments
-
Recent Comments
Danbala on Let’s imagine the look o… dissimilitude on WOOPS dissimilitude on Let’s imagine the look o… Raptor007 on Get of your n10bettes on WOOPS AC on WOOPS mabsba on Let’s imagine the look o… shortright the ivani… on TRAIN ORIGAMI mabsba on TRAIN ORIGAMI I want to beat EWAda… on TRAIN ORIGAMI 
Cheezburger Network Blog
But I thought Jesus wants a private airplane. Isn’t that why I donate at church for his private plane and crystal church? BTW poor people with aids you can’t use condoms. Trust the pope he know what Jesus wants.
Actually Jesus probably would have left the space like that too…then picked up a prostitute to wash and massage his feet.
It was Judas that was all about helping the poor. His 30 pieces of Silver was to feed the poor…not for greed.
Read the bible yourself and stop blindly accepting others interpretations!
Reading the Bible yourself isn’t sufficient to understanding it, as demonstrated by your apparent belief that the washing of the feet was some sort of wanton indulgence.
I concur – Jesus didn’t ask anyone to wash his feet. By the way – if anyone is inclined to write off my opinion as that of another bible thumper, I’m actually an atheist.
You’re right, he didn’t. He even asked her why she was doing it, and told her to go help her sister instead. While I’m not saying I’m thrilled that you’re an athiest, I am impressed that you took the time to read and understand, instead of taking an ignorant stance against learning, just to be non-conformist, as so many athiests.
If the rest of the world was like that (including the Christians towards other schools of thoughts and beliefs), then all war would end.
Not the case, because many religions order thier followers to behead followers of other religions. Read up, hon.
Well, it’s the thought that counts at least. If all religions and non-religions could be understanding like that, things would be more manageable.
Word.
Agreed.
All religion is a personal belief, and if more people looked at as such, and not as the only truth, things WOULD be much easier.
I’ve read a good portion of the bible, and some of the text from other major religions, and Judaism, Islam, and Christianity all hold the same message: love.
HellHathNoFury, It’s not necessarily the case that a deity calls for violence, but more often it is a man holding their text claiming that the deity wants violence. Religion has been twisted into a weapon many times, from today’s Jihad, to to Crusades. Gods don’t kill people, people kill people, then hide behind their gods as an excuse. It’s sad but true.
I’m agnostic, because I feel that if there is a greater power, I’m not meant to understand it, and I’m sure not qualified to tell someone else how they should interpret said greater power.
it IS the only truth.
I love you Gil-Narmor ^_^
What religions are these? I have studied numerous, and all these “kill those of other religions” messages aren’t anywhere within the religion itself. Unless you speak of obscure religions. However, the mainstream ones (Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism of multiple varieties, Jainism, Sikhism, Wiccan, etc.) do not order such things.
Really? Reaaallly? And you have read all the books, I suppose? Because Islam clearly orders thier followers to behead the infidels. no, I’m not saying that just because they are the ‘popular’ enemy lately. It’s been that way since the beginning of Islam. That’s just one example. Take off the rose-colored glasses.
No rose-colored glasses. Please point out the part of the Qu’ran that states that Muslims must behead those who don’t agree. I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
And no, thank you, it has not been that way since the beginning of Islam. In fact, Christians came over and attacked Muslim peoples because they wanted the land. They completely ruined the books of Baghdad’s library, all in the name of “Christ” or, in actuality, “greed.”
Just because some people in certain faiths preach a certain concept does NOT mean that it is the doctrine of the faith itself.
I have read parts of many religious texts and have taken many courses on the subject. Whether or not I’m qualified in terms of speaking on religions is subjective. However, I must intimate that having been raised with the intent to study all religions, I do know a good deal.
Further, I know people of all sorts of religious backgrounds, and I find there are countless misconceptions amongst all. I have them as well. Don’t worry; it’s not your fault. I blame the media and past misconceptions and ubringing for all of that.
My understanding of Islam is that it views Judaism and Christianity as worshippers of the same god, and as such are to be respected. As Dropping In says below, people have misinterpreted their own holy writings as excuses for atrocities for centuries, Islamic extremist don’t hold a monopoly on that.
Yeah, I heard that in the early days of Islam the three of them got along alright…
Sura 8:12 – “I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them”
God does not forbid that you should deal kindly and justly with those who do not fight you for the sake of [your] religion or drive you out of your homes. Truly, God loves those who are just. [60:8]
From the Quran, and I’m pretty sure your quote is referring to polytheists. I’m sure radical Muslim Clerics are twisting that to their means, but it’s not like Christians haven’t done the same. One or two verses, quoted out of context, and you guys can pretty much say anybody is going to hell. Some crazy christian even told me that i was going to burn in hell for all eternity, for voting for Obama.
The NRA does the same thing about guns, quoting just a snippet of the Second Amendment. They say that the Second Amendment is The right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. However, the FULL amendment is “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” I know the NRA is not a religion, but it’s the same concept, applied to a different document.
And before you start flaming me I feel that without sufficient knowledge, one cannot draw a true conclusion on a topic. It is obvious you disagree.
(to Gil-Narmor) I agree with you up to the point of the gun control. People have a right to have guns. Just not to use them on each other. Hunting, looks, Self defence, target practice (of the clay kind), these are all good-to-decent reasons to own a gun. A knife won’t do you any good against a crowbar or a bear, after all.
Qur’an (8:12) – “I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them”
Qur’an (9:29) – “Fight those who believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued.”
Here you go, Skippy.
Knowledge FTW!
That was in reference to a specifica battle, and was not an order to all Muslims. Skippy.
At some point Christians interpreted the bible to mean that they should go on crusades—how is that different? And if you read parts of the OT, it implies that God does pick sides, etc—all in the interpretation I think…
Because a lot fewer people were killed than have been killed by radical islam. Link More people are killed every year by Islam than in the whole of the Inquisition, which went on hundreds of years. Go figure.
Plus it’s a misinterpretation of the bible.
Nice try, dearee — look back two thousand years and come again.
That link doesn’t say anything about the number of people killed by Islam. In fact, it says that Muslims shouldn’t kill or practice terrorism, and that practicing terrorism is a misinterpretation of the Qur’an.
I hate how ignorant people try to suggest that Islam is a violent religion encouraging terrorism. That just reeks of bigotry. There are people from almost any religion who commit violent acts in the name of said religion. Those people are considered either on the fringe or not true believers.
I don’t care what you think about it being bigoted; it’s objectively true. 13,000 attacks by radical Islam and counting, and I’ve already provided an excellent non-partisan link that is actually a clearinghouse from all kinds of sources providing all the proof you would ever need that Islam is a serious problem in the here and now. If you don’t understand that, or refuse to face it because it might seem prejudiced, then you’re the foolish one. It is what it is. We don’t face any such enormous threat from Hindus, Jews, Buddhists, Taoists, Shaolin Priests, Catholics or Pentecostals. The threat we face is from the huge number of radical Islamicists who are not on the fringes of their groups because their countries are not secularized like ours are. If their countries were secularized we probably wouldn’t have to worry much about them; until that day, we do.
By the way, that link was incorrect, thank you Seth for pointing that out. This is the one containing body counts and a lot more truth.
@ Anniee I hate to break it to you, but you are truely clueless. Do a true body count if you want to, but Christians have about a six hundred year body count build up on the Muslims. Try adding the Crusades, all the Protestant-Catholic European wars, the attacks against native people in both American Continents, Africa, Asia — hell the only place Christians haven’t fought a religious war yet is in Antarctica, but, give it a few years.
By the way, the biggest threat to American Freedom is the radical Christian minority.
I’d love to keep up this extremely vital discussion, but I have to go to hell right now… I’m going to teach my son how to play Magic the Gathering.
Anniee, that is a propaganda site. It counts any attack by a person who identifies as Islamic as an Islamic attack. But it does not count every attack by a person who identifies as Christian as a Christian attack. It is a biased, hate-filled site that pretends to be fair and unbiased, but that is just a smoke screen for a rabid extremism.
“Nice try, dearee — look back two thousand years and come again.”
We were discussing Christianity, so I don’t know what you’re even talking about.
Well I disagree, Seth. It is a clearinghouse that uses all kinds of sources, plenty of them mainstream; news from around the world. It’s non-partisan as well. I knew you would dismiss it but the numbers speak for themselves. Number of abortion providers dead from “Christian fundamentalists” in the last decade – 1. Number dead of Islamic Jihad in the first 5 days of June? 175. And I’d say attacks by the Taliban are pretty clearcut Jihadi attacks. This is just reality and anyone who deliberately blinds themselves to the facts here is just fooling themselves and being a fool. We don’t face this kind of threat from any other religious group in the world; there is no religious group out there causing global terror except one. Deny, deny, and obfuscate, but that’s the way it is.
To be fair, you would have to compare it with every murder perpetrated by someone who claims to be Christian. Do you see the inherent unfairness of the site? Every attack by a Muslim is counted, even if not religiously motivated.
“Nice try, dearee — look back two thousand years and come again.”
We were discussing Christianity, so I don’t know what you’re even talking about.
Well, uh since the year is 2009 CE (Christian Era) if you subtract 200 or so years you come to the birth of Christ (hence the name Christian Era). Then you count the number of people that christians have killed since that time. You begin with the emperior Constintine, who made Rome Christian, since it is a religion that naturally suits dictatorship (you know the whole give unto Cesear thing) Then you add the whole Middle Ages, you know Charlemagne, Crusades, the European Religious Wars, the Native American (both North and South) the African and Asian genocides. Then do your current Cheney Math. Now if you still don’t get it sweetheart — take off your shoes and get back in the kitchen.
sorry for my misplaced decximal… 2000 years, dearee.
Haha, CE stands for Common Era, not Christian Era. The whole purpose of its academic usage is to avoid any religious connotation… dearee.
@ Steven12x, actually the change in nomenclature started with a switch to deliniate the westernized domination of the international calendar and initially was redone as CE — Christian Era, BCE Before (CE), but that was then changed to Common Era/ Before CE… dumbass.
oh… and back @ Stevee, you either will not respond, or if you try it will be an annoying “I know you are, but what am I” response, because, when it is all said and done, you are not really that bright.
“An Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action.” Mohammed, in his farewell sermon. Misinterpret that.
@ charlie, thank you for including the genocide of native americans (both northern and southern natives) that often gets overlooked by tallies of murders committed in the name of christ – most people are very euro-centric and leave us out
Much like Christianity, by its own books, seems to have no problem with stoning people based on the silliest things.
Not much on the New Testament are you? And the countries that still stone people are Muslim countries, not Christian or secularized countries. Get into reality and out of lala land.
-Cough- Christian extremist. -Cough-
Now if everyone was just halfway to believing in a “God” or “gods’ then the world would have no religious wars.
I’m afraid it’s much worse than that, Nate. She’s obviously a xenophobe as well, and if a major christian leader began stoning people tomorrow, she’d be fine with it. A true Christian understands that their religion is their relationship to God, but not the only way to have a relationship to God.
Gil-Narmor, it says in the bible, and I am quoting the 14th chapter of the book of John in the New Testament, that Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life.” Jesus then goes on to say that “No one can come to the Father except through me.” So, in otherwords, our relationship with God is not the foundation of Christianity, instead, the foundation of Christianity is based on CHRIST, for whom the religion is named. So what I am trying to say is that a true CHRISTIAN understands is that the only way to have a relationship with God is through Christ. And yes, I am a Christian
Wait, I thought Christ was God. Trinity and all that.
you need to read the Koran and stop believing the media. a good friend of mine is a devout muslim and no where in the koran does it say to do anything to other religions. it does, however, state to have acceptance. Islam is VERY similar to judaism and christianity. both preach peace in the holy text but some radical religious leaders twist the literature towards the less informed in order to preach war. The same thing happened in Christianity, perhaps you’ve heard of something called the crusades? YOU need to take of the media-tinted glasses
If I may add my 2 cents…
First, I want to clarify that I’m agnostic. I go about my daily life not really thinking about any god (the same way an atheist would), but I can’t prove there isn’t a god.
Second, I don’t know if there is a god, but I think no religion on this planet knows anything about god (if there is any god at all), because religions just contradict themselves too much. I’m not going to say anymore about this, I don’t want to debate on this subject, I just want readers here to be aware of what may be or may not be my own biases.
Now, back to the point I want to make:
This debate is pointless. Religion is not even defined properly anymore. What is religion? The book you read, or the way you understand it?
Catholics all refer to the same book, the Bible. Muslims around the world refer to the Qu’ran (not sure how it’s spelled, sorry). They also all call themselves Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, etc.
Yet, they don’t share the same beliefs about their god.
I heard most Muslims don’t drink alcohol, but when I lived in Tunisia most Muslims there drank wine and liquor.
Some Christians believe homosexuality is a sin, and other Christians believe their god does not mind.
So, what are really Christianity, Islam, and other religions? Mulsim Terrorists are not the same people as Muslim non terrorists, so should we throw the stone at the religion, or the people?
Or should we say that Islam is a violent religion, and Muslims who do not encourage or support violence are still guilty of supporting this religion?
We have to start by deciding if all Muslims are from the same religion, or if there are different Islamic religions.
Same for Christians, Hindus, etc.
Only then could we really discuss this matter further. But right now, what we are really talking about is just too vague.
On a side note, I don’t see religion as the main problem. I think the true cause of violence are the religious leaders who abuse their authority. After all, every religion has a few violent paragraphs in it’s book (the Bible has something about killing gay people), yet it never stopped a lot of followers to be good, peaceful people all their lives.
I don’t think the reason there are so much Muslim terrorists has anything to do with the religion itself. There are other differences between Muslims and Christians. For example, most countries where Islam is dominant are poor and the general education level is low.
In such countries, the local religious leader (the equivalent of Catholic priests) tell people what is right or wrong, what their god wants from them… When people can’t read and have little culture, they just follow what their local religious leader says. As a reminder, things were not different in the West a few centuries ago, especially in Europe.
Having lived in Tunisia, where the general education level was much higher, I can testify that people were much more open minded than in countries such as Saudi Arabia for example. Even girls went to school, and the hijab is actually illegal there (only old women still wear it). Yet, they were Muslims too. So is it religion that causes terrorism, or is it lack of education? I made my own opinion on the matter.
Instead of sending soldiers, tanks and bombs to those countries, we should send books and teachers. I can’t even hate the terrorists or call them evil. I think they are brainwashed and manipulated. I don’t condone the harm they do, but I won’t throw the stone at them (I’ll throw it at the educated Imam who sits in his Mosque all day and intentionally lies to those people in order to make them kill for his benefit).
We can be optimistic for the future however: the youngest generations tend to be more open minded than the previous. A friend of mine who lived in Iran told me that teenagers all dreamed to go to the USA, so they could have freedom. Partying is illegal there, but teenagers still do it, secretly, in their basements. These kids want things to change, they can see where religious oppression has led them.
When it will be their time to have jobs, money, and a bit more independance in their lives, they will make things change.
And one last thing: the media make us believe that in Iraq there are two kinds of people: those who want democracy, and those who don’t. The truth is, only a handful of people do not want democracy (the terrorists). What really divides the opinions in the country is whether they wanted to get democracy through a war or not. Half of them think this war was the best way to get democracy, and the other half think it was a mistake. We can’t deny it, this war was a big screw up in the way it has been done. The troops did a good job, but the people at the top planned this invasion poorly. The population of Iraq suffered a lot and never asked for this.
But 95% of Iraqis want democracy, they just not all wanted war. If the US could spend a penny to build schools in the Middle-East for every dollar they spent in this war, we would get rid of extremism quite fast.
We want to fight danger when it shows up, but preventing it from showing up is also a way of fighting. You can shoot a terrorist when he shows up behind a window with a gun in his hand, or you can send him to school before someone puts a gun in his hand.
That was actually closer to 2 bits, but nicely said, even though I have some areas of disagreement, on the whole you hit the nail on the head.
My bottom line is the knee-jerk blaming of Muslims as the sources of terror and violence. (Ever see the EID e-mail?) Most major religions can be linked to some form of violent abuse, not from a religious standpoint but from a control standpoint. The bottom line is power, and religion is one of many means to maintain power, regardless of the doctrine.
Oh and in light of full-disclosure — I was raised R.C. but I gave it up for Lent, now I focus on the similarities of all religions from the animistic through monothestic — their works are decent guidlines, somewhat distorted by time.
Finally, a voice of reason and truth. Of course, the people who really need to read this won’t, unfortunately. You hit the nail on the head though.
Well said, Yeah! For the most part, I agree with you. Thanks for your input.
Amen my man. Holy wars get started because people don’t do their own research, or their own reading in their own holy books. They instead let others preach to them and take their word on everything.
>And you have read all the books, I suppose?
What part of “I have studied numerous” religions did you miss, fury? If by Islam, you mean radical Islamic clerics, then yes you are right, but popes have done the same things, except Christians burned people at the stake. While my understanding of Islam probably couldn’t hold a candle to Sarahs, I seem to understand it better than you do.
Like I stated before, Religions don’t kill people, people kill people and hide behind their religion.
HellHathNoFury says:
“…Islam clearly orders thier followers to behead the infidels.”
A true infidel is someone who does not believe in Our Father and His Kingdom and desires the distruction of those who do.
A true Infidel is a terrorist, a Nazi, a Japanies Emperialist, a Russian Communist. They desire the eradication of the good and the just.
In Islam,murder is the second worst thing you can possibly do.there are NO justifications for murder.
You are not allowed to harm another man unless
1.he is trying to harm you
2.he is trying to harm another human.
if he is no longer harming someone,it is a sin.mis interpret that ^-^
Some of the Old Testament does this- I hope it is METAPHOR…not actual guidance…I would try to interpret other religious writings the same—-as metaphor and demonstration for learning a lesson—not instructions….but as an agnostic what do I know.
Which religion is that?
Another non-conformist FAIL: We ARE like that, ya n00b
Most atheists know the Bible better than most Christians.
and most morons on websites speak in outlandish generalities.
Careful… you could nip yourself in the butt by saying something like that.
All generalizations are false.
All falsehoods are generalizations.
All generalizations are general…. and probably also izations.
All izations are Generals, unless they’re civil or rational
All Generals are Patton.
phaelin for the win!
Therefore, all Pattons are false. Is this an SAT question?
Well he did think he saved the 101st in Foy, but we all know that was a lie. Your statement holds true.
If it were an SAT question it’d be something along the lines of:
Pattons are to Generals as Swiss Cheese is to…?
@Jane: Sadly, they took the analogies section out of the verbal part of the SATs.
No way! I rocked that part! Awwwww…
I don’t know that that is an accurate statement, and I’d be careful there. The Christians I know are split 50/50 between having read, and not having read the Bible themselves. The atheists I know, none have read it themselves.
None are at fault, but to make such a generalization is a bit ridiculous.
I would wager that a larger % of atheists (at least in America) have read the Bible than the % of christians who have.
Do you mean American atheists or all the atheists in the world against all the christians in the world?
Well I don’t suppose it matters because I would disagree with you on both counts.
I know there are many atheists who have read the bible and made an educated decision, unfortunately I believe there is also quite a few atheists who simply folded their arms and stuck out their tongues and claimed to be way smarter than silly christians and their silly bible.
If the Bible doesn’t convince someone to become an athiest, I don’t know what will.
…. The collective history of Christianity and far far too many other religions? >.>
huzzah!
And you base this on what?
Then you’ll be broke. I am atheist because I read the bible. It’s actually quite common.
Spin, that’s *exactly* what he is saying
Alway is saying that he would bet that a larger % of Atheists have read the Bible than Christians.
(At least, I think.)
i sincerely doubt that.
Raised by christian parents, read the bible, studied the bible. I’m an atheist. Doubt all you want. Atheists read the bible so we can throw your own words back at you, point out contradictions, and giggle.
Like two-year-olds with nothing better to do than make every else feel horrible.
Yeah…christians are like that, aren’t they?
Generalizations any one?
Responding to one generalization with another. Tit for tat, as it were.
I just love working “tit” into conversations.
C’mon, Ivan, that’s not cool. There are plenty of nice, nonjudgmental Christians out there (myself included). Many of us who don’t hold it against you that you’re a heathen who is going to burn for an eternity in hell.
Just kidding.
You said “tit.”
I strangely agree with both of you. I have read the bible and can’t accept it for myself, but I also can’t accept the idea of trying to deny other people their religious freedom. If people have faith based on theology, who am I to prove them wrong?
You, I like.
To quote John Lennon:
God is a concept by which we can measure our pain…
I don’t believe in magic, I don’t believe in I-ching,
I don’t believe in bible, I don’t believe in tarot,
I don’t believe in Hitler, I don’t believe in Jesus,
I don’t believe in Kennedy, I don’t believe in Buddha,
I don’t believe in mantra, I don’t believe in Gita,
I don’t believe in yoga, I don’t believe in kings,
I don’t believe in Elvis, I don’t believe in Zimmerman,
I don’t believe in Beatles…
I just believe in me.’
I love you. Have my children.
I don’t believe in Lennon.
Eh, who am I kidding. I believe in Lennon more than I believe in a lot of things.
Lennon.. genius
The biggest thing separating the Internet generation from Christianity is the idea that we own ourselves. We have wholeheartedly clung unto the idea that we belong to ourselves, when the Bible teaches otherwise. True Christians believe that their lives belong to God and not to ourselves, and to submit to authority that has been placed upon us, as long as it does not contradict God.
Dear daddy- are we called the internet generation because we are made of internets?
Oh, and plenty of people weren’t Christians pre-interwebs.
What is this “pre-interwebs” phase you speak of?
-Sighs and bashes head harder and harder against the wall of trolls-
Did you just call me a troll?!
No, just against the unbreakable lines of trolls that never seemed to end.
Sorry, my train of thought broke mid-typing and I became depressed by religi and anti-religi trolls.
Down with religion!
Nah, I’m more of like a down with horrible, horrible sadistic human behavior! type.
Up with sadism!
I have to admit, that the atheists that I have seen in documentary, on TV, and in my own life all seem to have read the bible- at least parts of it. That is just a personal sample though- not claiming that it covers all.
usually people who quote the bible and are not christians have read ‘parts’ of the bible. they have also read many other interpretations and papers on the bible which skew their perspective to a certain degree. there are others who research the formation of the catholic church in a historical context, which always has problems because every organization as some level of corruption. also the bible never granted the catholic church the right to make saints, worship the virgin mary, excommunicate people, or set up the pope as a demi-god. there are many problems with organized religion, but that does not mean that the original principles are false.
if you’re going to argue religion with someone i hope that you have the mental fortitude to actually research the subject with an open mind.
that being said, there are still a lot of people out there who are ‘atheists’ simply because it’s the ‘cool’ thing to do. rebellion takes many forms…
have you ever heard the story of the baby and the bath water?
UHM. YOU ARE NOT ME. DO NOT SCREW WITH MAI NAME, PLEEZ.
Sorry ’bout that.
No one else is allowed to be named Tyler? Welcome to my world, sister.
Well, typically before I pick a name on one of these sister sites I read the last few threads to see if there’s any regular commenters with my name
Also, it annoyed me that his name isn’t capitalized like mine wasn’t before- and that he was arguing the exact opposite of what I was.
That’s actually not a correct interpretation of the story. Here is the text:
Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:38-42).
you know listening to only the most vocal atheists and assuming they represent every atheist is just as ignorant as listening to the most vocal imams or priests and assuming they speak on behalf of all Muslims or Christians.
Take every visible ‘representative’ with a grain of salt – same rules should apply for atheists as everybody else. just because we have no god doesn’t mean we have no feelings. Please please please stop generalising, and see us for what we are, just another subset of the global community who have a strong interest in peace and the happiness of our fellow people.
A large number of atheists have quite an extensive knowledge of the bible, BECAUSE they value learning and BECAUSE they want to make an informed decision.
And in terms of the rest of this thread, I do think Judas was really given the rough end of the stick in history, but – although Jesus always did unfairly get in trouble for his association with prostitutes, i don’t think he would’ve requested a pedicure.
Pope is a bit of an idiot IMHO – we have people in Australia repeating the same sh*t about condoms etc… ignorant in the extreme.
/rant
You are confusing two Marys. The Mary who washed Jesus’ feet was Mary Magdalene. The other Mary was Martha and Lazarus’ sister, and she was actually praised for remaining at His feet while her sister was busy multitasking. She was praised for having chosen “that better part.” There are several Mary’s in the NT, so it is easily understandable that they can be confused with one another. I am in agreement with your latter statement, though.
Non-conformist FAIL
[38] As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. [39] She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. [40] But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
[41] “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, [42] but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Here is a case where Jesus chastises a woman for working and rewards the lazy one for neglecting her duties as a host to just gawk at Jesus. Interpret it how you will, that’s precisely what happens.
http://www.biblestudy.org/question/woman-washing-jesus-feet-and-its-meaning.html
In the passage where Christ’s feet are washed, it is suspected by some that Judas controlled the funds of Christ’s little operation and often stole from it. Most interpretations, however, portray Judas as he is portrayed in most historical texts from the time… He believe Christ had forgotten the poor, which was always Judas’s personal obsession.
Judas subsequently betrayed Jesus for the silver pieces so that he could give the money to the poor people Christ had begun to forget as the hour of his death grew nigh, and serve his own sense of justice. Judas was obviously disturbed, but a thief he was probably not. Many scholars believe that Jesus exploited Judas’s love of the poor in this passage to set him over the edge and ensure that he did betray him.
Indeed, the washing of Jesus’s hands and feet is one of the most hypocritical things Jesus was probably associated with in the bible. For a man who gave his entire life to serving the poor, it speaks volumes that he failed to be selfless and became selfish before the hour of his death. If we are to believe that Christ is incapable of sin, then certainly this act was to ensure Judas’s betrayal.
How presumptuous of you to assume that atheists care whether or not you are impressed.
In my experience, many atheists seek to learn as much about religion as possible, myself included. You can’t effectively argue your point if you don’t understand what you’re talking about.
That’s exactly right. I’m impressed.
Okay, before you comment, read the other threads. I comment on this site dozens of times a day, you should be able to tell that. Please man, capitalize your name at least?
How about calm calm down, you have your avatar along with your name to set yourself apart. People have similar names, and just because “you were here first” does not give entitlement. That is the greatness and the bane of the internet. But that also means you can argue about any little thing, or nit-pick, or whatever. So, carry-on.
Meh. It is a wonderful bit of the internet, but I feel like when people come to the site they need not fill out the exact same name, down to the capitals. Not so much that I was here first, but that he didn’t bother to check whether I was here and spell it differently is what bothers me :/ (also, I’ve seen a few too many imposters (as in, let’s troll using someone else’s name)on the site recently- starting to worry me.)
Reading the libretto for Jesus Christ Superstar does not count as reading the Bible.
Wow, no kidding. I was in a summer stock run of this production about a year prior to my conversion. It does not portray the Jesus of the Bible. The writers themselves said they intended to portray Jesus as a man (in one song the lyrics even say, “I’m just man”)…with sensual passions, etc. The only constructive thing I gained from the experience in hindsight is that I had before me a crucifixion scene several times a week, and I, along with the rest of the company, was offstage doing the “mocking and jeering”. That experience put me tangibly where I actually was in real life, mocking the Savior who died for me. The memory was a lasting one.
Damn!
So, Judas was a liberal? I mean, betraying your best friend so that you can take money from the government to give to poor people, so that you can feel gooooood about yourself and others will admire you for your selflessness?
At long last, the loony left has found a god.
(
Judas gets a bad wrap, he had to do it to fulfil the prophecy and so Jesus could die for our sins. Like the anti-chirst, that’s been predicted in the Bible and so it has to come true. it’s not the anti-chirst’s fault is it, someone had to do it. If Judas hadn’t shopped Jesus to the Republicans of the time then humanity wouldn’t have been saved, would it.
congratulations, you just proved that fate exists and there is no individual thought…
Actually, if you read the Gospel of J, which I tend to believe, Jesus told Judas that he had to sell him out. Judas was the one that Jesus entrusted with the biggest, most important, and clearly the most difficult task. The fact that Judas then gave the money to the needy is evidence to support the fact that he didn’t do it because of his own agenda. Actually, I recommend reading The Gospel of J. It’s eye-opening and will change your view on a lot of things.
See, me, personally? I don’t like organized religion. I didn’t like discovering as a teenager that the denomination that I grew up with, which I thought was accepting and open-minded, in fact had a book that outlined what I was supposed to believe. I know, I know, it’s not concrete or anything, but it gave me pause. Especially when I found out that my ‘open-minded’ church welcomed gays in their congregation, but bans homosexual marriage in their churches and homosexuals from becoming ministers.
Here’s the thing. I recommend that everyone, and I do mean everyone, whether you’re Christian, agnostic, athiest, or pastafarian, whether you think my comments are accurate or heresy, I think EVERYONE should read Misquoting Jesus by Bart Ehrman. Do your own research. Look at the Bible and at Christianity and at all religions as historical elements, not as the word of God or as myth, but at the same time, understand the elements that are not historically proven. Go through, learn the stories, not just the parables. Don’t go into it with a mind of “this is all true” or “this is all total bullshit” or anything of that sort. Put that aside. Look at it as a work of historical literature, something like The Silmarillion. Suspend your disbelief, AND suspend your belief. Read it like a book. Just a book. Look at the development, understand it. Understand that Allah and the God of Abraham and Jesus’s daddy are all the same dude, and that Palestinians are the sons of Abraham just like the Israelites are, and that the argument stems from whether Palestinians should be considered such, since they come from an ‘illegitimate’ child, a child born out of wedlock.
Understand that while the Bible has a lot of answers, not just spiritually, but relating to current events as well, it should be taken with a pillar of salt. (Ha ha, I know, lame.) The gospels are not gospel. They were written by Jesus’s buddies, not by the hand of God. And a lot of their stories differ. One says that upon seeing Jesus alive on Easter morning, the women ran off singing and dancing and telling everyone that they saw that he had risen. Another says that they were scared shitless and didn’t tell anyone what they’d seen. Not only that, but Jesus hung out with these dudes in his adult years, and yet the Christmas story is written in Matthew. We don’t even know for certain if the disciple Matthew was the same dude that wrote the gospel of Matthew. Not just that, but imagine what would have happened to someone if they had written, “i think Judas is a pretty cool guy. eh did what Jesus told him and doesn’t afraid of anything.” No one would buy that. No one. They’d get executed, their gospel would either be completely eradicated or edited to say, “JUDAS SUCKS!”
Go ahead, look back through history at how many times the Bible has been snipped and edited and ‘fixed’ and translated, maybe accurately, maybe not.
That’s why I pick and choose what my beliefs are. It’s either that, or have someone else pick and choose for me. That’s why I am an agnostic Christian who also believes that God isn’t the only deity out there.
But I digress majorly.
Regarding the picture: If it was Jesus, he’d be walking just like everyone else.
And, in response to the argument above, regarding whether Christians or Muslims are worse mass murderers… Who freaking cares who killed more? It’s not a pissing contest. It’s human lives. Killing a single person in the name of religion is no less heinous than killing ten.
On that note, I leave you with a quote from a (fictional teleporting blue mutant) priest:
“More people have died in the name of religion than have ever died of cancer. And we try to cure cancer.” – Kurt Wagner, Nightcrawler, X-men.
There is no bigger liberal in the bible than Jesus, but judging by your comment, you’re probably one of those foks who treat Jesus like a god of war.
actually … she wasnt a prostitute… and he didnt pick her up
she wanted to honor him out of love and respect
and Judas plans with the money is not what most people have issues with, including judas himself, its the part where he sold out an innocent man, leading that same man, who was a mentor and friend to him and who he had only seen doing good, to death in the worst way for those times, to get that money.
read the bible yourself and stop blindly accepting others interpretations
Yeah, but that was Judas’ job from the beginning — that’s why J.C. hired him as a disciple. So Judas didn’t betray Jesus, he was actually doing Jesus a favor and taking heat from it for centuries.
Judas = Snape? Hmmmmmmm…
Common enough theme. Why reinvent the wheel, look at Tristen and Iseult.
That reminds me of a nice YouTube-Video (see link in name):
“Modern-day Christians know Jesus so well, that this one decided to travel back in time to help Jesus get his message across right from the start. Those people back in Jesus’ time might have mistaken Jesus’ own words as actually containing what he really meant! And we wouldn’t want that!”
And after that, you might want to have a look at “What Would Jesus NOT Do?”
My favorite is WWJFP – What Would (make) Jesus Face-Palm?
Why don’t you just make it WWMJFP? Or if you want to keep it at WWJFP change the translation to Why Would Jesus Face-Palm.
Definitely a fair question. I’ve considered both of those alternatives, but haven’t gone with either because I’m not sure what the best mix between recognizability and understandability is. I’m still up in the air about it.
The only variant I can definitely rule out is WWJF – the usual usage of facepalm is as a single compound word, but WWJF would be too-easily misunderstood.
Yeah… I can see that. WWJF gives a whole different angle of a question.
I think the answer to WWJF is: Just about any comment on this board…
Right?
RIGHT!? HA!
My dear Mr. Silverhammmer,
Are you insinuating that somewhere up there is a guy in robes with his face in his hands, asking himself “Don’t they have anything better to do with their time?”
‘Cause if so, I think you’re probably right. (^_^)
Right now Im thinking that poor robed fella has a permanent indentation of a palm on his face, he’ll need serious Rhinoplasty to get the crook out of his nose.
That might be why he let them put holes in his hands… he got tired of banging his nose every time he facepalmed.
Oh man… You made me blow Mt. Dew out my nose. Nice.
Max, That was the funniest thing I’ve read in a looong time, Thank you!
he could probably use a nice foot massage…
MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where have you been?!
Ive been working. I gots a promotion which sets me up to complain about some kind of “distribyushun uv welth” I keep hearing about. I dont know what it is, but in our non-socialist country I can honestly say this:
IM NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IT.
Ahem sorry… had to get that off my chest.
But its nice to be back… and to see the same ole antics are back into play..
HAY GAIZ IZ OBAMAZ STILL DE DEVILZ!?
Yeah, that’s the scope of things. Congrats on your promotion though, that’s awesome!
Indeed, but enough of this, let us continue with ridiculing each other while defending people we’ve never met and whom we know next to nothing about!
Oh and in terms of scope of my promotion… Any Krispy Kreme doughnut that you have, are, or will take a bite of from April of this on, is because of me. I am the doughnut man!
Wow… so you’ve got serious pull with the cops now, eh?
Wouldnt it be lovely if thats the way the world worked….
Eh, try “accidentally” giving him your business card along with your license sometime. (^_~)
In the suburb where I work, you can tell when it’s almost time for the Starbucks down the street to close – four to six police cars go whizzing down the 30-mph street at 50-60, sometimes with their lights on. I pity the robber that ever tries to hit that location.
Unfortunately, my business card just has a freight company on it. We are independent of Krispy Kreme Inc. itself.
And Im getting flashbacks to Robocop 2, spawning from your scenario.
true that.
If this was Jesus….nobody would be in the picture.
While I detect a hint of atheism, I think you should switch jesus with god. By all accounts jesus existed. Wether he was the sun of god, that is the question. So if this were jesus, well I don’t think there would be an airplane, I hear the man walked an awful lot.
“By all accounts jesus existed.”
Citation please. And you’re not allowed to use the bible. As far as I’m concerned, it’s fiction.
I would not cite any religious text, least of all the bible which was repeatedly raped and torn apart only to be reconstructed for Christianity’s leader’s own agendas. I would cite however that Pilate did exist, as did the Jewish population, who did not take kindly to Jesus. The bible was not actually written until years after his death but his existence and teachings were spread orally long before the bible.
I will of course admit there is no irrefutable evidence to prove that Jesus existed. I was merely referring to the widely held (though perhaps not by you or people you speak to) belief that Jesus the man did exist.
I’m not Christian, I don’t believe the man was the Son of God, but I believe the man existed. I don’t believe someone could make up a person and say, hey guys remember Jesus?
*Other people, “No.”
Well he existed and he was the Son of God!
*Oh, okay!
That is my personal belief as well as others; you do not need to share it. Rant over.
To be fair, there are in fact no surviving records that were concurrent with Jesus’ life. There are a number of records of his existence from twenty-thirty years after the biblical reports of his execution, but that’s all. Yes, Pilate certainly existed, but Prince John was a real person, that doesn’t mean Robin Hood was. Personally, I’m undecided on the historicity of Jesus, but there is room for debate.
it seems more important (and i’m sure to get yelled at for this) that you consider the IDEA of jesus and what he stood for more so than the actual historical evidence of his presence.
the whole of the bible, if taken literally both in a historical aspect and as a guidebook of what to do will lead to trouble. it’s meant to be metaphorical, like old wives tales – what to do in situations using simulated or exaggerated events.
it’s kind of like arguing if zeus was real or if hercules was an actual historical person. so what if they were as long as the lessons learned from their stories help someone in their life.
just saying. don’t take it too seriously but use it (or any other book) to enrich your own life and those around you by being a better person.
Actually most historians will accept that Jesus Christ was a real human. There’s no evidence that he was the Son of God. But he WAS a real human.
I remember from my world history class in college reading at least some historical record of Jesus existing. I don’t remember what it was though.
Eric, I believe you are referring to the Testimonium Flavianum by Flavius Josephus, the historian who lived from about 37 to 100 CE. I found a few articles about it, but I don’t know how to link here. So here is the relevant paragragh from one of those articles:
“Despite the best wishes of sincere believers and the erroneous claims of truculent apologists, the Testimonium Flavianum has been demonstrated continually over the centuries to be a forgery, likely interpolated by Catholic Church historian Eusebius in the fourth century. So thorough and universal has been this debunking that very few scholars of repute continued to cite the passage after the turn of the 19th century. Indeed, the TF was rarely mentioned, except to note that it was a forgery, and numerous books by a variety of authorities over a period of 200 or so years basically took it for granted that the Testimonium Flavianum in its entirety was spurious, an interpolation and a forgery.”
Actually I believe that there was a Jesus, but not the semi-divine son of god type. I think he was another Jewish Resistance fighter. I also believe that what happened at the Passover in the Bible actually did happen, except it wasn’t a choice between the son of god and a Jewish Resistance fighter. It was simply a question of who was the most popular (and likely successful) resistance fighter in this case Barabbas. As for the bit about Jesus’ body disapearing after three days, any one heard of Graverobbers??
Can you provide a link to info on this “other Jesus” please? This is the first I’ve heard of it.
I’m gonna have to call shenanigans on that one.
the sun of god ? gee… and all this time I though he was the moon of god. “wether” jesus actually existed or not can be disputed as we only have literature to prove such and its not written in our history books for a reason. Cause its literature. personally I’m agnostic – I need proof
And yeah he walked a lot. airplanes/cars didn’t exist back then *face palm*
Well said, Danielle. I’d like to warn Jessie of citing Josephus, since the accounts of Jesus attributed to Josephus have been determined to be added in by another author much later.
(Sorry, but that one comes up a lot in my discussions with people who try to prove Christianity is the “one true religion,” so it’s stuck in my head.)
Forgive me Danielle; I abase myself at your feet for hitting the wrong key and confusing you. Do forgive me, ye of higher grammatically correct ways!
Sorry.
Many things happened that aren’t in history books that does not mean they never happened.
And the whole walking a lot thing, and there being no planes or cars back then, I was aware of that, thanks. I was referring to the fact that there were livestock that often took people from place to place. If he did in fact exist, the accounts of him point heavily to the fact that his disciples and he walked when ever possible, forgoing the luxury of horses or donkeys.
Again these are my beliefs, I’m not Christian but I can buy that the man existed.
Next thing you know Jessie will think there is such thing as green eggs and ham and that there really are bears and piglets that hang out with rabbits. Not everything written is true. I’m sure he rode a donkey or some other animal as well as walked in his stories too – who cares.
Son* God* Jesus*
They are all supposed to be capitalized because they are proper nouns, FYI.
Unless you are Jewish, then you cannot even spell them out.
Tell me about it.
Uhh… just out of curiosity, if this was Jesus, why would he need a plane?
Because… Jesus couldn’t fly?
Okay, I should have read the next dozen posts, where they’re being humorous about it.
The only way the Pope would let the poor fly with him is if there was a bulletproof glass wall between him and the other chairs.
And his own stewardess. BECAUSE SHE WOULD HAVE TO OPEN THE WALL!
i don’t think jesus would even use a plane…he could probably pull a superman…
He would just walk across the ocean, instead of flying.
oh yeah i totally forgot about that. for some reason i just picture him flying hahaha.
PWNT.
He wouln’t need to use an airplain to fly, if this was Jesus he would be flying like superman!
I thought Jesus had a flying horse to ride.
Maybe he would have a horse painted on his plane.
A flaming chariot, I believe.
It is generally a bad idea to ride in a plane which is on fire though. So he should probably get someone to check that out for him…
The Pope, and by extension Catholicism, care not all for the poor and hungry. The could eliminate hunger and raise living standards for millions of the poor is they simply started to sell off the artwork in the Vatican. One piece a week would probably feed millions and they have enough (much of it plundered) to sell one piece a week for hundreds of years. If a tax was imposed on the collective wealth of modern religions we would suddenly see them acting like good Christians.
That’s just what we need – a huge windfall for all the Catholic poor. They all get some cash, breed like rabbits instead of investing the money to make a better life, and in 3 generations we have 8 times the poor people all belonging to a church that has no wealth.
Damn your Vulcan logic, Spock!
Dammit Jim! I’m a doctor, not a philanthropist!
Winner of best comment? I think so
Actually and this is historical fact for you – Priests in the Catholic Church were allowed wives up until the 1100’s. It is thought that the change came about due not to some religious reason, but simply that the Church was making an absolute packet and as such wives and any attendant sprogs that came about would mean that the churches money being split between the children of the priests, therefore making the church poorer and hence less powerful. To keep the power and the money the church stopped Priests being allowed to get married.
More importantly, land passed from father to eldest son, therefore when the nobles gave the church some land, they didn’t want to have to do it again and again, so the nobles leaned on the church to fix it if they wanted any more land.
Dammit Jim!! I’m a Bricklayer not a Doctor
It’s kind of what the Mormon’s do.
Sounds more like what liberals would do than Catholic poor to me.
And the trolling begins.
BTW, do you have your towel with you?
42.
Don’t panic.
Thanks for all the fish!
No, it’s more like what Obama’s Black Muslim Communist Marxist Satanic army would do. >_>
you forgot to work nazi in there and also need to mention manditory abortions.
That’s a very unrealistic and negative way to look at it.
Haha. Your argument is that Catholics don’t help the poor because they don’t sell the Vatican artwork?
Why does the Catholic church need to have any valuable art and antiquities anyway?
Yeah, don’t they preach that ‘our treasures are not in this world’ and to ‘cast away worldly things’ and that surrounding yourself with material things to show off is prideful and takes people’s respect from you, since you’re spending time coveting and accumulating instead of being a good disciple? Whatever happened to giving your last oil, flour, bread and clothing to a person who needs it? they may argue that King Solomon had riches beyond his wildest dreams, but that’s only because *and i quote here* that when God told him to ask for anything, and he could have it, solomon asked for wisdom to deal with his poor and warring people, so God gave him material wealth as reward for his selflessness and humulity, and King solomon also made sure that his entire kingdom had thier needs taken care of before himself, unlike the Vatican, who surround themselves with goods first, and then tell thier folowers to be faithful and God will take care of them….after he gives us ours.
Wow, that was a longer rant than it was supposed to be, sorry. Not being vindictive, just wondering how it’s not blatantly obvious as a slap in the face to the Catholics.
You are now on my list of the smartest women I know. I may be falling in love. Perhaps you can explain how the Old Testament God: a cranky, mean, vindictive diety and the New Testament God: a peace, love, and understanding liberal God – end up being worshipped by most mainstream religions as if there is no difference.
Having a kid really mellows you out dude…
Thanks….I think. And to answer your question: the same way parents can unconditionally love a child that goes from being a sweet, obedient ball of love to a defiant jerk in much less of a time period than the Bible was dealing with. Bad simile, but whatever. my brain isn’t working as fast as my fingers tonight.
Which is why Catholic Charities is definitely not one of the largest charities in the United States, doesn’t work worldwide as well, and only helps other Catholics.
Oh, wait, that’s the opposite of the truth. Huh.
Is it actually run by the Vatican, though, or by individuals who happen to be Catholic?
A network of charities, run by various Archdioceses and Dioceses, which are, in turn, run by the Vatican.
You will probably like the end scene of the 2002-movie Equilibrium
Have a look (link in name)!
A better question is why does the Catholic church have the world’s largest and most diverse collection of pornography?
Dave, they’re all celibate, OK? Porn and choir boys are two of the very few options they have.
They don’t. That myth is perpetuated by those who want to tarnish their image. I’m not catholic, nor do I like the catholic church, but that just has no basis in reality.
Yes, and all the news reports lately are lies as well, and all the evidence and witnesses and vistims are Catholic-hating Protestants and/or devil-worshippers. *headdesk*
Islam too — if they just put a roof over the Kaaba, and got rid of that big rock thing in the middle, they could fit all the world’s homeless inside. Shame on them!
And don’t get me started on the Jews — they could enclose the rest of the Wailing Wall and put in a Jamba Juice: not only could the poor live in there, but they could get smoothies, too.
So, what are *you* doing to help the poor?
Huge difference. Judson isn’t insisting that all people should either give thier worldly possesions to him and follow him blindly or else be eternally damned, while he lives in a billion-dollar church paid for by other people and surrounds himself with priceless artifacts while promising the destitute that faith in Judson will get them by, but that Judson cannot live without only the best.
Neither is Benedict. Your point?
Really?
Most certainly. (Is not entirely sure of the past 3-4 posts in this nest of conversation, but compulsively NEEDS to answer Hell’s question.)
Thanks for the effort, chief.
You must answer me these questions three: what is your name? what is your quest? what…is your favorite color?
What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
African or European??
Shocker, I know. But, assuming you’re at least partly rational and not just a Know-Nothing bigot, what can you cite that supports this? (Pro tip: “they’re richer than me” doesn’t count.)
I’ve been there. I’ve seen it. Was raised in a huge Catholic family *didn’t go too well with the Jewish side, but..* it is a gaudy and ridiculous show of excess. If Liberace, Elton John, Elvis and Hugh had a religion spawning thier flaunt of disgusting excess, it would be the Vatican.
WORD.
Um, excuse me, but Elton John’s excess is NOT DISGUSTING! Also, he rocks way harder than the Pope.
Well yeah, I do <3 Elton John, but I see what she was getting at.
So, given that you couldn’t be bothered to answer the question I asked, and that you popped off just about the weakest response imaginable (which is why I warned you against it), I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re not actually reading, you’re just way too enamored with hearing yourself talk. By all means, keep prattling. Don’t let me stop you.
that was my answer. Keep being ignorant and pugnacious, keep prattling
I was citing thier excess, as you asked me to. I have BEEN there, I have SEEN it. What more can you ask for?
^^ lovebirds ^^
How rude of me, asking you to back up what you *actually* said and not falling for your backpedaling.
Just in case you forgot, here’s some of what you said:
“give thier [sic] worldly possesions to him”
“but that Judson cannot live without only the best”
I’ll ask you again — can you support that? Or are you going to go off in a different direction again because you’re just running off at the mouth?
you’re one of those poeple that thinks if they can yell loudly and obnoxiously until the other person decides to not look like an ass and walk away, then you must be right. Have fun in the ghetto.
Well, clearly, that’s the most likely explanation. I ask you to back up what you said, I look past your backpedaling — no reasonable person would ever do those things. Right?
…and bizarrely racist, too. What a catch you are!
It’s apples and oranges anyway. The vast majority of the art stored at the Vatican has no religious significance. If it did they’d share it with the people, not lock it away leaving scholars to only speculate at what could be down there. At the very least I feel the Vatican should share what is possibly a great deal of lost history by displaying it.
You know, you’re right… and I dont think religious art usually has a very good resale value considering its worth is usually dependent upon your beliefs.
Although, I did pay $20 for a painting of Black Jesus at a yard sale once.
Was it on velvet? ‘Cause if it was it was totally worth it.
It actually was. And its worth it… trust me. Id have paid $20 just to pull up to the yard sale and from my car yell “HEY! How much for the Black Jesus!?”
Not to mention the looks on people’s faces when they first walk in and there’s a black jesus staring at them from over top of my mantle.
A couple of my friends went into the chapel area at this Christian festival thing, it took them ages to work out that it was not a picture of Bob Marley that was hanging up…
Jane, I like this Maxwell of yours.
*grins* I pretty much <3 him too.
Tyler likes him too. Not no-avatar tyler, but Tyler. You know, me.
Jane, you had the chance to own your own, individualized black velvet painting, but you gave it away.
Naw, she’d never let me keep it. That was a family heirloom, it was.
By that logic, Egypt doesn’t care about the poor because it won’t sell the pyramids. Nevermind that your idea is laughable and the Catholic church is the largest charitable organization on the planet today, you have a religious entity to attack! Courageously on the interwebs no less!
How about this: sell you computer and donate the funds to an organization that combats snarky comments.
That’s a twist of the logic.
Egypt won’t sell the pyramids because they’re a treasure (and note moveable) to Egypt, but the fancy clothes and expensive lifestyle at the Vatican could easily be given to the poor whom they claim to care for. You don’t need fancy clothes to raise money.
(I don’t have an opinion on the subject, I’m just trying to guess what Judson’s argument would be since no one will likely come back to this thread so late in the game.)
If it was Jesus there wouldn’t be seats. It would be standing room only.
Why do poor people need to fly? Where to they need to go?
Why does the Pope need to fly?
Why does the Pope need a starship?
to defeat Sally Struthers and bring christ to Marklar
We ALL need a starship.
That’s twice that movie has been quoted now. One more time and you get a timeout.
To see and address his circa billion followers worldwide? Just a hunch.
-sigh- It’s a movie reference, PK.
Star Trek V reference for the. . . win?
Well, there are these really horrbly poor people who’ve been seperated from their families that are called refugees. I’m sure some of them would need to fly to get to their families with any decent chance to get there. Yet I don’t think the pope would be landing in any destination that would match up with the needs of a refugee.
(A somewhat random aside: There’s a HUGE refugee population in my city. You’d have to go to another continent to find a larger population of Burmese.)
“Yet I don’t think the pope would be landing in any destination that would match up with the needs of a refugee.”
Exactly. How would it help “poor people” to be flying around with the Pope to all his destinations? And if the argument the captioner is making is that the plane itself should be donated to the poor, how would one plane make any real impact on poverty as a whole?
He could hire them as his roadies.
LOL. tee-hee.
If it were Jesus he wouldn’t have a security team, event planners, advisers, or personal assistants running his life for him and keeping everyone at a distance.
Pope John Paul liked people and was poor himself when he was young.
JPI, JPII, or both?
And JPII didn’t have a security team? Or advisers or assistants? They built the freaking Popemobile for John Paul II after he got shot! If you liked John Paul, don’t criticize the current pope for having the same lifestyle.
What the…?
Hey, there’s only room in this town for one Eric. I’ll see you in the town square at high noon!!
Eric, have you seen the new tyler?
He’s…. He’s arguing the Bible right now… -sniffle- I’ll miss myself un-capitalized, ’cause that was my own secret little argument with myself that capitalizing every damn sentence to defend the language wouldn’t be worth it- people who tlk like ths and r destroyen meh languig probably wouldn’t care anyway.
I wouldn’t worry too much about it, Tyler. I doubt anyone would get the two of you confused.
Are there really that many poor people who need to fly?
*snerk* I was wondering that, too. ^_^
Maybe they don’t even want to fly. I mean, they probably got to be back to work on Monday and if they take the day off they won’t get paid. And what are they going to do when they get to wherever the pope is going? I mean, is the pope going to put them up in a hotel room?
Plus, what are they going to do for food? Is Pope Hard@55 supposed to pull fishes and loaves of bread out of somewhere?
Yeah, of all the things to do for the poor, flying them on a jet to an undetermined location really ranks near the bottom.
Maybe he’s springing for them all to go to Disney Land. Wouldn’t that be lovely?
I so completely LOL’d at this. One of those deep belly laughs, which, when you try to hold them in, you end up shaking uncontrollably. It’s late, and I nearly woke my fiance! ::shakesfist@Jane:: (Ooops!)
I could think of a place, but it’s full of his head and his ego.
Don’t they usually pull potatoes out of that, though?
Oh, god. i had mashed potatoes for dinner *yarg* Hm, maybe baconlube would go good on that.
hey If I was homeless in Alaska I’d want to fly to some nice ocean front area to be homeless on the beach.
The Pope is not flying from Alaska to some nice ocean front area, so an extra seat on the plane would not benefit you.
maybe he needs to stop in Cali. to refuel.
I still highly doubt that he is flying from Alaska to somewhere else.
To put it another way, are there really that many poor people who would want to fly to the Vatican and hang out with stuffy old cardinals?
Well, they might bring some new life to the place…
Or ANY life…
Only if those old Cardinals are Stan Musial and Lou Brock. Although I’m not really sure why they’re hanging out at the Vatican and not Busch Stadium.
I’m certainly no fan of Pope Hard@55, or of religion. But this is just taking a cheap little potshot… it’s weak sauce.
Yeah, pretty much.
I don’t like to fly but it isn’t the being on the plane – it’s the whoohah one must go through to get ON the plane. May I PLEASE stop taking off my shoes now?
I’m just thankful that Reid didn’t hide it in his underwear. We’d all have to strip completely before we’re allowed to board a plane. (X_X)
Oh, wait… they already do that, don’t they?
It would be nice if somebody remembered the old axiom about what happens to armies that gear up to fight the last war.
And he wouldn’t have let that lady waste such expensive perfume by dumping it all over his feet, either! He would have sold it and given the money to the poor!
…oh, wait a sec…
Best lol I’ve seen forever. Most churches (not just the catholic church) are cash cows that don’t give a crap about anyone ro anything but their own zealous agenda. God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts!
Yes, how fortunate we are that people like you are stepping up to work to make the world a better place.
…right?
The Church is supposed to represent God on Earth. If they were truly up to the task they would behave in a devout and spiritual manner. Jesus, as the actual God on Earth, demonstrated how to behave in a devout and spiritual manner.
Therefore if the Church truly represented God it would behave in a manner similar to Jesus. No poster on failblog, unless they themselves are representing the Church, need be held to the same standard.
None of us have made an explicit claim to be particularly moral, or authoritative on moral matters. None of us command the obedience of millions of people throughout the world. None of us possess vast amounts of ostentatious wealth. None of us need to behave in the manner of Jesus in order to legitimately criticise the Church for failing to do so.
Agree on your conclusions, but disagree on one of your points – the Church, per se, has almost always acted more like the Pharisees than like Jesus. If you want to find Christlike behavior, you’d have better luck by trying to find the individuals in the Church who act that way. Not from the Church itself, and usually not from its self-appointed representatives either.
Wealth and behavior aren’t comparable, of course. Or perhaps you don’t understand the “manner of Jesus” — or more importantly, the philosophy behind it — as well as you think?
Another note- not failblog. Different people, thanks.
Jesus would be walking across the oceans; he would have no need for planes. Catholocism as it stands today is the biggest disincentive for christianity that has ever existed. There should be more Mary Magdalenes and fewer John the Baptists
What’s the beef with John the Baptist? He was a pretty strange dude, I’ll admit – along the lines of the prophets of old – but what did he do that we need fewer of him?
For real. Back in the day Christ was practically a fanboy of John the Baptist.
he was pretty much the first nut ball, loudmouth, religious fundamentalist. he was big into hair shirts, eating locusts and wanting everyone to worship his way. think of present day snake handlers if you want a comparison for JTB.
That it was believed to be that he was the son of god, until Jesus was like “nope, it’s me. Sorry dude, but could ya baptize me before I split? Thanks man…”
“blasphemy… blasphe-you…. blasphe-everybody in the room”
Why did you link a personality defect/disorder 99% of us have, Banana?
WWHRD?
What would Harold Ramis do?
Gain lots of weight…
Yeah, Ghostbusters 3 never happened because the other guys thought he was the Staypuft Marshmallow Man and kept shooting at him.
HAHAHAHA!
best. comment. ever.
(But it is happening.)
(Parenthesis.)
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Howard Rourke?
Henry Rollins
Harry Reasoner.
Did I just get preached to…?
only if you feel guilty
the pope isn’t Jesus.
well spotted.
Maybe the Pope should realize that. Since they think they can ‘bless’ people, be prayed to and worshipped, maybe Ian needs to talk to them about this misunderstanding.
The pope knows he is not Jesus, but Jesus said that if you have faith as small as a mustard seed (and I have seen one–they’re really small–like you could fit ten of them in the area of a watermelon seed. But I digress) you can move mountains. He also gave His disciples power to heal. I’m not saying the pope is one of the twelve–or rather one of the eleven–but he is a follower of Jesus Christ (assumedly, since he got elected pope).
so are alot of people. So, what makes HIM special?
Well for one, he looks like Emperor Palpatine.
The fancy hat
*makes awesome paper hat with crayon drawings and f-ed up seagull feather*
So, what makes HIM special?
If you meet any Catholics who are praying to or worshipping the Pope as they worship Jesus, feel free to tell them that they’re doing it wrong.
True but it is correct in catholic religion to pray to saints who were humans just like the pope, would it really be that far off from the beaten path?
Praying *to* saints? I’m not even remotely Catholic — though I know a few in real life — and even I know this is a canard.
Uh, no? Catholics DO pray to saints. Was raised in a catholic family, though I’m recovering now. Whenever I’d lost anything I was told to pray to St Anthony.
I was told the same by a catholic friend. Same example actually, the saint of lost things.
I’m reminded of George Carlin. “Please, St. Anthony, PLEASE, help me find my keys!”
As an extreme oversimplifications, Catholics believe the saints can help plead your case for you to God. It’s like Holy legal representation. But they are not actually praying to saints.
that is true but Catholics also pray with or ask the saints to pray for them.
you’re totally right though…Catholics do not pray to saints.
wow, then my family sure did it wrong. O_o
Jane, as Stephen Colbert- one of my favorite characters (for those of you who were hoping he was really serious about what he said, sorry.) “They’re like God’s customer service reps.”
Yeah, that to.
*too*
Christianity in general is not monotheistic, the Saints, Jesus and Mary are at least demi-gods and satan is also a god of sorts, if an evil one (though not as evil as God was in the Old Testemant)
If Jesus was alive to fly in an airplane, he would have hadhis face against the glass going “Wow, never looked this bad from heaven.”
this isn’t even a lol.
get off the site.
This isn’t a good comment. Get off the site.
*does best grumpy-old-man voice*
Get off my lawn, or I’m calling the cops!
Damn punks and thier rap music!
*shakes fist*
Why, in my day….
…I had to walk 10 miles in the snow all year just to get to my mailbox–uphill both ways…
…and the spikes on our cleats were inverted….
Ow…
It was before my time, but I have heard of a cleat variant made by driving nails through the soles. I imagine it would have been serious fun walking on the protruding heads which wiggled back up.
One of the best at punditkitchen
)
Hm.
So why doesn’t your Jesus just “fill the empty spaces with seats, and invite the poor to fly with him” right now?
MY Jesus, that being, Buddy Christ, would offer a gesture of hope (thumbs up) and perhaps martinis all around.
Serious LOLS, max.
He has invited us, you just need to decide to go.
Well said wandermama.
And, if it were Jesus, there wouldn’t even be a private plane. He’d be flying coach with the rest of us because he’s just that humble and awesome. He never “traveled in style” in his day, and he wouldn’t do it now.
Yup, he did choose to ride a mule, the lowliest form of transportation, into cities, to show his humulity to the people and set an example.
Yes but calling yourself the “Son of God” kind of reeks of egotism… perhaps he should have gone with “Son of a Guy who would really really really like to see you in heaven when you die”?
But it’s true! He really was the son of God…so calling himself that did not “reek of egotism”…he was just telling it how it was.
Ask Jesus how convincing that was to the Jews.
Just because you can’t convince someone, does not mean you’re not right. I’m sure you’ve never gotten into an argument with anyone who disagreed with YOU…..
Silly, that never happens on the Internet… (^_^)
YOU’RE WRONG! GTFO!
NO< YOUR WRONG! THERE IS NO ARGUMENTS ON THE INTERWEB!!1!1!
YOUR WRONG AND GHEY! THERE IS NO INTERWEBZ0rz!!!!1!1!!eleventyone!!11!
You guys literally make me laugh myself to tears sometimes.
This is so meta! LOL!
YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!
There were plenty of Jews at the time that believed he was the messiah. He was crucified for political reasons, and because it was God’s will and plan for salvation, nothing more.
I would like to introduce you all to humor…
*flips Humor over*
This is humor’s dark side… Now that we’ve met perhaps you guys could take obvious jokes a bit less serious?
Yes Jesus was the Son of God, Yes he was crucified by the jews(his own people) no it wasnt because of what he called himself, but YES it was because he sought to change a system that would shake the foundation of faith, politics, and the economy at that point in history.
Now… with that out of the way, can I make more jokez please?
Ok, but you will have to bring doughnuts.
That I can do
And since I dont recognize you Wanderama, I’ll just warn you, if you hold something sacred, I’ll make fun of it. If I hold something sacred…. well… you can just bet its probably not a good idea to begin with.
I wander in and out, I’ve been around a long time. You can poke fun all you want as far as I’m concerned, I’m thin skinned. But now that I know you are the doughnut miester I will probably bug you from now on!
I hope you meant thick skinned
Id hate to get underneath it if its thin… less of a challenge that way.
oops! good point…
That doesn’t really count though because that was all according to design.
I dunno, sounds dangerously close to predestination to me…
I think for Jesus it was. Not for the rest of us.
Preachy does not equal funny. I don’t come here for social commentary, dammit, I wanna see teh funneh!!
Whoa. Massive nesting fail.
It might take a while to get to places like the Americas from Rome on a mule.
I can’t believe I’m just now getting it… “humulity.” That’s a horrible pun. Which are the best kind, mind you. (^_^)
I was wondering when someone would get it…or call the grammar gestapo on me.
Amen.
If this was Obama, he’d fill up those empty spaces with tickets to a broadway show for a quick turnaround vacation in New York.
Cuz hey! Let’s spread the wealth around by wasting taxpayer dollars on a date the rest of us could only imagine having. It’s a GOODWILL mission, after all: it just gives us all so much HOPE that things have CHANGED.
Pfft.
agreed
Or we could look into the past presidents, both republican AND democrat who have taken trips JUST LIKE this one. But then, you’d lose all your ground to throw a temper tantrum on.
Neither side of this spectrum is white. Its muddled on both sides. The only difference is, this time, its someone you dont like to throw dirt at.
What temper tantrum? That was my exact point.
CHANGE was my point. This is more of the same.
*his
So lets just ignore all the change that he has brought, so that your one discrepancy has validity? Im just trying to figure out the rules on this game of Bizarro World Blame that you want to play.
Practice what you preach. Lead by example.
You know, good ole American values.
You… didnt answer my question.
Because your position is indefensible.
Americans are choosing between food and fuel, and the president who exhorts us to spread the wealth is jetting off to a broadway show like a member of the Hollywood elite. ‘Cept those tinsel-town folks foot their own bills; we foot Obama’s.
Black and white. Deal with it.
Then every president in the history of America is black, and there is no white, because every single one of them has done the same thing. The only people offended by it are those who are both ignorant of history and already dead set against the president. You are preaching to your very small, southern backwoods racist choir. No one else is paying any attention to the angry rantings of small minded bigots.
No, I’m disappointed that the guy I voted for is doing the exact same thing as all the rest. I expected better.
But do please make assumptions. I appreciate it.
Ah, well, I’m sorry then. I kinda feel the same way, but him going to parties doesn’t bother me. He’s done some good things, too. Not everything he’s done has pissed me off. It’s easier for me because I never had any expectations. I knew he was a corporate centrist, not any kind of leftist.
Its ok Seth, James is writing off someone after one transgression against his personal expectations.
Id make an allusion to how gazelle never jump to where they cant see, or about hens and eggs and baskets, or by books and the judicial quality of their covers…. but I digress.
I could easily say the same about your stance. Mainly because its obvious you care more about talking points than actually looking at the facts.
Unemployment has started to trickle off, American acceptance worldwide has begun to swell, and last but certainly not least, we’ve got a president who can pronounce words with more than three syllables and not murder them.
So he goes out for one night on the town on his ANNIVERSARY, obviously, this sits wrong with you. That much is clear.
Perhaps maybe if you paid less attention to your wallet, that must obviously be chained in a vault that would make Jack Benny jealous, and started thinking about how helping out others is more beneficial than watching your own back 24/7 you might see the viewpoints behind those “damn libruls” a bit more clearer.
You seem so eager to put the shoe on the other foot, yet cling to ideals that have in the past eight years, raped the economy, blacklisted Americans across the world, and most importantly, screwed over the very people you seem so quick to let your heart bleed for.
Obama represents something that the opposition is scared of. A unifying front. A idea that helping each other out makes us stronger as a whole than helping out the individual. If you dont feel this way, Im sorry.
I do, and most of America does, which is why this man was voted into office. If you dont like, then let me kindly repeat something Ive heard Limbaugh say on the air “Get out of our country.” If you dont leave, then obviously, this “direction” the country’s headed in must not ruffle your feathers enough to not be a part of it.
Lets not forget, Obama was elected into a shitstorm. He inherited a great responsibility, and in my opinion he’s performing admirably in the face of tsunami of troubles.
BUT if you really think you’re the one qualified to comment on his every action… go right ahead, I wont stand in the way of self importance.
Nice rant.
His actions were still indefensible to those who are putting their faith in him.
Real people see it as elitist behavior, and it’s divisive.
Sorry… I couldnt read your post… your self-importance keeps getting in the way…
The difference between you and I, before you even say anything, is that EVERYONE is a real person to me… apparently to you, only some people are real.
Real people are those who voted for him and are now disappointed in his actions. Sadly, that’s a lot of people.
I just echoed the sentiment I’m hearing. If you think that makes me important, well, thanks !
I honestly dont think one person or another is too terribly important. Together, we’re one big mess of important, but individually, you’re floater on the eyeball of existence.
You see, when studying philosphy, you find that man/woman has this strange attraction to him/herself. Its the dark side of the “god spectrum”. On one end there are non-theists: There is no higher being than us, and most if not all, are unimportant. This thinking leads to the horrible acts, and attitudes we see today. The flip side is, or at least what Ive come to realize through my spirituality, is that because there may or may not be a higher being that makes us MORE important.
As whole we are a group that needs to strive to do better, to think on a higher level, and to treat others with the respect that we want.
So in closing I think that you and I can banter all night, but what Id really like to see if some thought provoking alternatives to the way things are being done.. an overhaul to the system. Lets you and I, James, start down a road that few opposing forces ever go down, lets agree to at least come out of this with a compromise:
I agree that Obama could stand to not let himself fall into a position like he did, but only if you agree to see the good things that he HAS done, and the road he is on now, that will lead to great and better things.
Agreed?
Yeah Maxwell, it’s all the fault of the ‘non-theists’ – just blame all your problems on them. Pretty bigoted comment you just made there.
Dan, I didnt mention the other side of the spectrum out of mercy for everyone here. And in case you turned your brain off while reading my post, take a closer look and absorb the part where I alluded to being a non-theist myself. Next time I’ll blatantly state it to make it clearer.
What, the bit where you talk about your ’spirituality’?
Its my first day back and I already have a troll? Doesnt take long for them to find you anymore does it?
Wow, so everyone who disagrees with you is a troll now?
No, just you… I didnt say anything about anyone else.
But apparently I’m a troll because I don’t agree with you, at least that’s how it seems from here. Or did you forget that there’s another human being on the other side of this discussion, because your non-theist beliefs lead you to think selfishly?
James didnt agree with me, I didnt call him a troll. Im only calling you a troll because you’re bringing up no original thoughts, arent trying to make any points other than personal attacks, and you’re even making baseless assumptions such as “every who disagrees with you is a troll”.
Now you can continue this and just look like even more a troll, but unfortunately for you, I wont be feeding you anymore. Come back when you want to discuss something, not troll.
No, you made the first personal attack when you blamed non-theists for all the world’s problems. I’m just defending myself.
Dude, if you think what Max said was a personal attack you have NO business being on the internet.
Awww babe! I was starving him! Look, he was almost dead too… shoot.
It’s not a personal attack if it’s true.
He did kinda prove my point by taking something I said about non-theists (myself included) being all self important…
and then made it solely about himself.
Sorry, sorry! You know I’m not strong enough just to watch them flop about on the ground like that! Cover my eyes next time.
-Draws hearts on Jane and Maxwell-
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
I just have to ask, because I really can’t find evidence either way anywhere online (and I’ve been looking):
How do we know he didn’t use his own money? You know, because he does have it. He wasn’t destitute before he became President.
the real question is which airline would jesus fly on? I’m guessing hooters air.
Smart and mature. What a catch.
Technically speaking if they’re smart and mature… you cant catch em. They’re too smart and mature for that.
Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
To which I reply:
BUGS WITH WINGS GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roffle. (^_^)
You know I had a thought the other day that actually sent chills down my spine…. What if ticks… had wings?
Ponder that.. and tell me if you dont feel like donning an air tight jumpsuit for the rest of your life.
I’ll one-up you: What if spiders had wings?
Spider’s are generally more scared of humans than we are of them. Ticks on the other hand HUNGER FOR HUMAN BLOOD OH GOD!
I used to love spiders, and would go out of my way to throw them outside rather than kill them. Then one of the treacherous little beasts took a chunk out of my toe which took several painful months to grow back.
Still a liberal, but I’m a good illustration of the axiom that a conservative is just a liberal that got mugged.
Also ticks carry Lyme disease, the wee bastards! I’ll take a spider over a tick any day of the week.
Although, if you picked a spider every single day of the week as your choice, wouldn’t that be a few *too* many spiders for comfort?
Actually I get a lot of spiders in my place, it’s an old beach cottage from the 1920s and there are lots of places spiders can get in. I’m not afraid of spiders though, so I just scoop them up and put them outside, I just did it earlier today in fact.
Not killing the spiders? Good girl. -Thumbs up-
Now, help me with Foreigner? His post is slowly eating my tiny, shriveled, apparently “hate-filled” heart.
” . . . so I just scoop them up and put them outside, I just did it earlier today in fact.”
Didja know that you’re probably killing ‘em by putting ‘em outside? I read that indoor species are totally different from outdoor species, and that the indoor species won’t survive out there.
::shrugs:: I dunno. I read it somewhere. Perhaps it’s wrong.
[Personally, I hope it's right! ::shudders:: I can't stand "S's" {See? I can't even say the word!}.]
@ Naoyusimi… Don’t look up…Really, don’t look up…REALY! Ah, ya had to look up, didn’t you?
i’m of the opinion that i have my space (inside) and spiders have theirs (outside) so any that come inside are fair game to die.
especially after getting bit on my spine and getting a slight case of gangrene and a nasty scar…. and don’t tell me spiders are more afraid of people, i’ve got witnesses that can attest to me being chased by spiders – here, the other side of the state, texas (thank goddess we didn’t have terantulas right there!), idaho, missouri, michigan…. they’re out to get me and i know it!
@Charlie Foxtrot:
You. Are. Not. Of Teh Funneh.
(How did you know that’s my greatest fear? What IS it with those things? Hanging around, waiting to drop on my HEAD. Sick, evil MONSTERS; that’s what they are!)
::points at Bad Fairie::
See?!! I KNEW it! I knew it all along.
That ole, “they’re more afraid of you . . . “-crap. I knew it was a crock! They’re vicious and evil and just waiting for us to fall asleep so they can . . . gods only know what!
Oh and calling everyone who knows how to speak and think coherently on PK at the moment. Innocent Foreigner down at the bottom of the thread needs our “help”.
I’d rather get Lyme disease.
You would rather get Lyme Disease than…. Dignify his post with a response, you mean?
Yeah, pretty much. Lyme disease would be interesting, at least.
*shudders* Don’t even speak such nonsense. I could not live in such a world.
How about those giant flying cockroaches they have in Tahiti? Blurrrggghhh.
Crunchy and surprisingly filling!
Shoot, spiders don’t need wings, they can crawl anywhere and use those cool strings to hang over your head, just waiting…waiting…You looked up, didn’t you? I know you did!
….. -Grumbles something about psychics and their damn accuracy-
I call foul! You have the unfair advantage of having raised me, therefor you know my abject fear of spiders and how best to manipulate it.
Jane, wait- is Charlie really your dad?
oops… Now I wouldn’t do that to you…would I? Psst, don’t look up over your shoulder. Don’t do it… Gotchya…..
Tyler, yeah, Charlie’s really my dad. He used to post a lot until things got hectic for him at work. Now that he’s off for the summer (and my mother, his wife, is out of town) he’s been on a lot more.
Charlie’s your…dad?
I swear I never touched her, sir!!!
what, it isn’t bad enough that they crawl across the ceiling and wait to drop onto you when you least expect it? spiders are teh evil!
I know, right?!
Enough with the spiders! I’m starting to get flashbacks from the tarantula incident, now!
/jk about the flashbacks…
Just dont squash it… unless you like volcanoes in Japan.
Or movies with Ashton Kutcher about how badly you could f*** up your life if you were given the power to go back and change it.
I for one just like to strangle babies with their own umbilical chords.
That was a nice ending, eh? Xb
And a very good lesson for life: “if you’re Ashton Kutcher, strangle yourself in the womb, you could save the world! Or be a furion!”
Funny. (^_^)
Have to admit, though… I hated Ashton Kutcher before that movie, but I thought he did a really good acting job in it. Just my opinion.
Same here, Im mainly angry that he would go for Demi Moore… I mean seriously, sure she’s a cyborg that doesnt age, but he’s like 20 years younger than her!
Demi Moore, President of NAGBLA. Gotta love her.
Her, and Steve Martin man…. they freak me out man!
Ehhh, if you want non-aging cyborgs: Casey Kasem.
Question to you too…
Is it teh ebil to take someone’s avatar on here, put it on my gravatar profile, and use that to make trollish comments?
Sorry, but I just thought of that and HAD to get it out there. Aren’t I diabolical?
teh church is ebil!!!!11!!1!
.
all these people are against the church and their tax free status, but what about nonprofit political organizations? i’d like to see peta do more for the hungry…
Like spreading out some of the petri dish grown meat culture, Eh?
Spend a few years in New York, and you’ll find out that their popularity on their own home ground is even lower than it is elsewhere. There, they get so radical they even piss off the vegetarians and animal-rescue groups.
They REALLY piss off animal rescue groups. Probably because PeTA destroys almost all of the perfectly healthy animals they “rescue,” rather than try to find them good homes.
I’d like to see PeTA do something good for [i]animals[/i], for once.
Oops, I used BBCode tags instead of HTML. Silly mistake.
A common mistake, I assure you.
Not that I (completely) disagree with you but I think most of the comments about this lol have been remarking on how lame/unfair it is. Even from people with no love for the Catholic Church.
Or me getting into some random argument and ranting like the lunatic I am.
Thirded, ’cause I’ve done both.
It’s best just to jump back into PK with both feel.
*feet*
*restraint*
Urgh… I cant… hold back…..
But Jane my dear, when I have I ever jumped in without feeling both?
That is why you kidnapped me and forced me to marry you, iirc.
Awwww… that’s cute. (^_^)
Husband-Wife WIN!
Seconded. It’s a trite little cheap shot, and hardly worth the effort of protesting against.
Yeah, we’re only here because we only get one new lol a day on weekends.
I came for the chicks… what are you talking about…..
There are girls on the interwebz… right?
On the interwebs, the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents.
Are the sheep still scared though? I need to know my fear-mongering has the sheep acting like…. well…. sheep.
One of the best jokes ever. Only topped by its close cousin, “Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?”
Oh for Goodness Sake! That’s those Aberdonians (Judging by his accent Paws4thot is among them) giving Scots guys a bad reputation again…
Huh. Why did I think p4t was a brit then? Maybe it was the tea discussion. I’ll be sure to apologize.
I’m a Brit. So’s P4T. The thing we’re not is English…
I do think Scotland is more European than it is British but all the unionists would probably disagree with me…
So you probably won’t have to apologise.
So sorry, you are right. I’m never entirely sure how Briton/England/United Kingdom all shakes down.
the commonwealth can be confusing…
And the teenaged girls are Chris Hansen.
It’s true, trust me. I’m 16 myself. I would know
yeah!! lets critisisize each other`s point of view…
stop reading sht and get back to work!
Defeating your own point WIN
I disagree with this caption.
It should be “If this were Jesus”
The past subjunctive isn’t used much in English, why can’t we get that right?
THANK YOU, chocktaw! This caption has really been bugging me!
EPIC OWNAGE!!
AMEN!
Jameister, what you said!
Yes, yes, of course-even the Pope should have communal transportation inflicted on him.
The smells and sounds of the great unwashed, traveling 13 hours with your knees drawn up to your chest, and, at long last, crashing into the Atlantic Ocean through no fault of your own.
Isn’t it marvelous?????!!!!!!!
Why yes, it is. ok, jk there. But the point (I think) is that this man basically has millions flock to him, but he’s nowhere near as giving as Christ. (And Jesus would totally keep the plane from crashing. Even if it did he’d walk on water and get everyone to safety!)
You forgot the joys getting to and from most airports, the security line follies, the dubious food-like substances, and the *shudders* airplane bathrooms!
RIGHT ON!!!! Finally someone gets it.
Recaption:
AS FLASHY AS IT GETS
Most people will go, “Aaaw how wonderful. He’s waving,” even though all you can see out the window is clouds.
Just more proof the old don’t really know where they are. Eh?
Always with thier heads in the clouds….
Why are liberals so intolerant and full of hate towards those not like them?
Why are you so full of judgment towards people you don’t know and ready to make huge asinine generalizations about a large group of people?
I find that it’s usually out of insecurity.
Or inadequacy. either of which are interchangeable.
Comment is unrelated.
hey nice plane!!!
I think that the comments about Pope Benedict being hypocritical because he hasn’t “personally” helped the poor is just slightly on the retarded side of the spectrum. He’s head of a billion-member organisation – that’s more than three times as large as the US. He’s kind of got a lot on his plate. Do you expect the leader of any large organisation to do what I hesitate to call “grunt work”? Do you see the CEO of Ford on the assembly line? How about FDR working on one of the TVA dams?
Would you consider those two men hypocrites?
Lead by example. That is all.
You seem to be misunderstanding what “lead” actually means in this context…
I’m just saying, Jesus was willing to do grunt work. He helped his step-father, respected the elderly, went to hell and back and was willing to do more than anyone. I guess I just don’t like the pope because people look at him as a leader when the one they should be following is the man the pope is supposed to represent. The pope is not God, he’s not Jesus, he’s a human. Why do I need a monarchy style church with priests, bishops and a pope to tell me what God wants of me? Does he move within their spirit but not mine? Nope. I have nothing against catholics, I just disagree with many of the core beliefs. (And by saying he shouldn’t do grunt work because hes a leader to many, does that mean he thinks he’s any better? I like people who don’t think about that but rather embrace the grunt work to help others when they can)
Yeah, like the guy who went to confession to St. Padre Pio and told him he didn’t believe anymore and didn’t believe in hell and Pio said to him “You will, when you get there”
I can’t believe that you’re arguing against the need for leadership in any non-trivial human endeavor. (By your logic, not even Jesus himself was a great example, because he wasted time trying to teach his thick-headed disciples instead of doing more “grunt work”.)
Instead, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you dislike something the church hierarchy teaches, and that’s where your dislike is coming from.
“I can’t believe that you’re arguing against the need for leadership in any non-trivial human endeavor. (By your logic, not even Jesus himself was a great example, because he wasted time trying to teach his thick-headed disciples instead of doing more “grunt work”.)”
I don’t think anyone is arguing against “the need for leadership”–that’s silly.
Reaching the think-headed disciples . . . perhaps that WAS the “grunt work”.
two words for you: mother teresa!
Great Lady, who didn’t forget that she was not running a business, just out to help those less fortunate.
OK. Question for you? How did this organization get so big [and ahem! ::RICHcoughcough::]? It surely didn’t start out that way. What was its purpose? After you answer that, tell me if you think the purpose of the organization has changed . . . even slightly.
I think that if its purpose is the same as it was when it started, that it has lost its way, its focus.
As have you, because you’re looking at the result, at the trappings, and thinking they’re necessary for its function. They’re not.
A small group managed to convey a meaningful message across a–granted, smaller–world two millennia ago. The population of the world is larger, but technology has bridged nearly every communications gap.
I say they’ve lost their way. And their leader is the worst, most ostentatious example of corruption and excess: The antithesis of the Jesus Christ mythos.
if that was jesus, then if someone killed him he’d come back from the dead…
It always surprises me how quickly people get an opinion about something they cannot prove. Personally, I’m a Christian and I believe in religious freedom, so everyone can believe what they want, it’s wrong to judge, but don’t bash other people’s religions and then go on about how wrong they are. Let everyone have their piece and leave it at that.
Truth does not need one’s affirmation. Read it, burn it, condemn it – As a pebble to a mountain you will not change Truth.
It should be
If this WERE Jesus
Not if this was.
The subjunctive mood, statements about the conditional future such as “If I were a carpenter . . .”, require the subjunctive “were”
/Once an English teacher, always one
// Other flash buttons who/whom and fewer/less
Not to mention there/their/they’re, etc…
Ok, but we teachers have a PK limit on how often we correct within our subject area of expertise.
Oooohhh… People’s confusion over fewer/less really gets me…
Erm. Actually, I have a confusion over that one.
*looks at toes, and kicks the dust*
It’s easy.
Use fewer with objects that can be counted one-by-one.
VG has fewer dollar bills than me.
I have fewer brain cells than VG.
Use less with qualities or quantities that cannot be individually counted.
VG has less cash than me.
I have less intellectual capacity than VG.
SEE??
OK, so fewer things, and less stuff? Cool!
Dude, I’m learning on PK today! Woohoo!
That’s such a cool explanation! So often, I KNOW the correct usage, but I can’t explain to people WHY they should use one word over another. We have a commercial running on the radio currently that’s driving me insane: they’re advertising used cars, and they’re talking about how “Jane got a newer car with less miles than her old car, AND a lower payment?” ARRGHHH! And they repeat the mistake about 3 times within the commercial! I also have to hear about a local event’s series of sponsors, one of which is a “NOO-KYOO-lar” plant.
Where would the poor fly to anyway? Somewhere else to be poor?
To America, to reap our tax benefits.
The Lady does say give us your tired, your poor, your hungry. Call me crazy but it is kind of rampant throughout our history.
*rescinds invitation*
itsallright!
… she moves in mysterious ways.
Lift my days, light up my nights.
<3
Bo [k]no[ws].
On your knees, boy.
WHOOOOOOOOOP!
WHOOOOOOOOOP!
INNUENDO OVERLOAD! CODE RED! CODE RED!
REPEAT!
INNUENDO OVERLOAD! CODE RED! CODE RED!
*head asplodes*
Have a cigar?
Must. Resist. Elian. Gongalez. Joke.
Nah, he was too young too smoke.
You’re gonna go far. ::nods::
You’re gonna fly high. You’re never gonna die. You’re gonna make it if you try. They’re gonna love you.
Nice catch on the transition…Eric, you’re Ok by me — that and several dollars will buy you a Starbucks — or maybe a free-trade brand.
Good to see all you regulars are here wallowing in your ignorance and wanton hatred, stroking your e-penises.
Your internet reputation is inversely proportional to real life worth
Some of us would be by definition stroking our e-clitori.
Are we still wallowing in our ignorance though?
No wanton hatred on my part. And I do know where my clitoris is–and that I don’t have a penis. So negative on the ignorance as well!
I can’t say I enjoy Won tons, does that count?
But do you hate them, or do you not enjoy them? There is a difference!
But…I looove won tons! Especially when filled with creamcheese and dubious “crab” and deep-fried. No hatred here!
I thought that was crab rangoon? Hell, maybe I am ignorant.
It is; the outside’s a won ton.
Well, perhaps I don’t have won ton hatred after all.
Split an order with me? Now I’m hungry.
Me too. Do you think it’s safe to stop stroking our e-clitori now and get some food?
I think we’ve all built up an appetite now!
Sounds like a plan! Actually, I’m outta here for the day — everyone cross your fingers that my daughter passes her driving test that I need to take her to!
Good luck to your daughter Diss! May she not have to parallel park.
I’m glad no one’s steamed at this young foo with egg on it’s face (no, not your daughter Diss!)
nah, he’s just sum young gai without a clue..
Careful, now, udon know miso well; udon wanna mess with my wonton hatred!
But obviously you nasai goreng to reply to any of this, right?
Nah, it’s just a troll stirring up the pu pu.
But you can’t really lumpia all trolls together, there are varying degrees you know.
Stop it stop it! I haven’t had Chinese in so long…*whimpers*
Crab rangoon is a type of won ton. A won ton is just a dumpling made with a won ton wrapper and stuffed with just about anything. Also known as pot stickers or gyoza.
Mmmmm. Dumplings! I would say that I have a wanton love! Yummy!
I do like pot stickers.
drop the ’stickers’ and I’m with ya..
*chokes*
Whoa wait…. dude…. what?
Jane said, “I do like pot stickers.” And I replied, “drop the stickers and I’m with ya..” meaning, “I like pot”.
Look, let me just state for the record that no one is stroking my e-penis right now.
However, if you would like to stroke it for me, send me a picture of yourself and I’ll let you know if you meet my criteria.
“Get off my lawn, ya good fer nothing!”
Uhm. And anyone should care what you think, why? I mean, at least bring something to the table that proves whatever point you’re trying to make…
He was just proving that all Catholics are loving, accepting, forgiving people.
The only point here is on his head..
Successful troll is successful, you fed it
Like my ex.
Fed it, fu(ked it, and forgot it.
We got a Chinese food discussion, a pun run, and Viking Gal used the word clitori. I fail to see how the preceding thread was not full of awesome.
because this is pk. “Awesome” does not exist here. only faggotry
Nice to know you’re out of the closet then.
All of you regulars are wastes of life. Your life is dependent upon your reputation on an lol site. Pathetic faggots
I can see why you want to keep your identity unknown on “an” lol site… Good idea btw.
And that makes you…what? A total moron who has less to look up to in life than finding a website that you don’t like, then making a generalized insulting comment about the people that like to communicate on that site — hmm that makes you less than an amoeba — the only thing they have going for them is that they breed and make people sick to their stomach. Maybe, just maybe, if you try real hard you may achieve that.
Nah, I don’t think he can even accomplish that.
And you would know that, how? Do you keep a record of every occurance and of how everyone is feeling? Suddenly, regularly visiting a website makes someone pathetic? And gays have something to do with this? Even still, I’ve seen better trolls in my days online. At least they can deliver an underhanded punch, and extremely well planned out responses. Only an amateur would use direct insults as a medium. 3/10
Lol! Sorry, I just came to the realization you just described at least 90% of 4chan. xD
Oh, kelto, I DARE you to f*ck with 4chan. Seriously.
Yes, because it so rarely gives people any material to make fun of it for…
Like I should be afraid of 4channers *rolls eyes* I’ve heard of all the stuff they’ve done already. Funny, sometimes. Sad, usually. Except for their little battle on the church of scientology, I remain unimpressed.
Jealous troll is jealous.
Jealous troll wants my stick bundle…
I thought he wanted your cigarettes.
Nope. My chopped liver bound with herbs and bread, mate.
Link.
Gross… I hate liver! I don’t like cigarettes either. Does this mean I hate faggots? Can’t say I care one way or the other about bundles of sticks though.
YYYYEEEEEEEEWWWWWW BBBBIIIIIIGGGOOOOTTTTT!!
Aw hell.
*secretly agrees with Jane and loathes 2/3 of aforementioned faggots*
ROFLS!
Oh, I get it.. you’re here like a moth drawn to the flame. I may be a ‘faggot’, but at least I have class. You on the other hand are a sh*t stain on the heel of society. Feel better now about yourself?
I guess that explains why YOU’RE here, then…
Lol da pope isn’t supposed to be Jesus. If he were, he would just walk across the water, instead of takin a plane. He’s just Jesus’ postman.
Ah, that explains why he’s postal …
from what I’ve heard of this jesus character if that was jesus he wouldn’t fly in a jet. cause of the whole give up all of your possessions thing he was really big on
He is quite a character, but really I think Charlie Brown was a better character. Snoopy is high up there too.
I was always partial to Hobbes.
I think if that were Jesus he’d be saying “Oh my father! We’re in a flying metal bird!!”
Jesus never could keep up with the times…
I think we’re missing the bigger picture….why would the poor need an airplane ride?
*shrugs* Visit dying relatives? Move somewhere with better opportunities? Their reasons are their own. I know plenty of people who needed to get somewhere they couldn’t afford. My uncle couldn’t make it up here to visit Grandpa before he died a few weeks ago because the fights were too expensive. These things happen.
Because Our Lord said that the poor will always be with us
WAi so serious ಠ_ಠ
Love it!! You know that if a pope knew Jesus was coming to visit, he’d order his flunkies to hide all the glitter and his shiny throne and order the gardner to switch clothes with him before Jesus showed up. LOL
But he probably doesn’t believe in Jesus….
Jesus is too busy riding around with Santa. Reindeer are fuled by carrots and apples a much more economical solution then Jet Fuel.
Anyone that was raised a Catholic remember getting yelled at around Christmas time because you cared more about presents than the fact that Christmas was supposed to be a Religious holiday?
It was?
Thats what I was taught (brainwashed) into believing.
I believe you meant “were”.
Um – why? So they can be poor elsewhere???
No he wouldn’t. He’d tell them to go in peace and sin no more.
I’m pretty certain Jesus would just walk.
If this is supposed to be a jab at JP2, the maker should look up what this man did for the poor when he decided to take some time out of his “extravagant” lifestyle to crush communist oppression.