NATURAL SELECTION
NATURAL SELECTION
You notice how most of them are actually leaning TOWARD impeding doom?
Picture by: Nascar Sprint Cup Race. Caption by: Jeannie via Poster Builder
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Default User on One day, i dream Wino on TRAIN ORIGAMI Default User on TRAIN ORIGAMI Mang on Let’s imagine the look o… Default User on TRAIN ORIGAMI Cruiser on Let’s imagine the look o… Mang on One day, i dream pittypat on Let’s imagine the look o… Nucky, the Official … on KINDNESS Kraas on TRAIN ORIGAMI 
Cheezburger Network Blog
See? This is why I’m too lazy to lean EITHER direction…
See? This is why smart people don’t attend gatherings that are focused
around (literally) one of the least entertaining sports the world has come up with.
announcer: “Look, they’re making a left turn…! Look, they’re making
another left turn…! I wonder what’s going to happen next?!”
“Where’s the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering Kaboom!”
Marvin the Martian win…
You got this from Jeff Dunham’s act with Sweet Daddy D on his Arguing with Myself act…here’s the ending.
“Let’s go to commercial, come back in a half hour and you ain’t gonna’ miss a f*ckin’ thing!”
Doesn’t make it any less true.
So what’s your choice then? Baseball, which is just rounders played by adult males instead of high school girls! American “football”, which is rugby with added forward passes and body armour?
And if you think NASCAR is so easy, let’s see you do a solo lap at a competitive pace, never mind with 42 other cars on track!
” American “football”, which is rugby with added forward passes and body armour?”
Umm, yeah, that would be my choice. How in the world does that not sound good to you?
Also, as far as racing, how about a race where they turn both left AND right, like Grand Prix?
Forgive if I just missed it, but I don’t believe anyone said anything about “easy.” They said “least- entertaining.” Not really the same thing, but so very accurate.
Constantly wasting the best gas, car parts, and tires… To drive laps…
Call me petty but as a car owner, that seems… I dunno, stupid?
be that as it may, it sure beats watching golf…. or tennis. now if they made tennis a contact sport where the idea was to nail each other with the ball it would be more interesting.
Actually, womens tennis is awfully entertaining to watch.
Not that I care who wins.
(Walks off, whistling softly and thinking evil thoughts about young Ukrainian women)
Crap… You beat me to the punch… About a month ago. XD
O.o you mean two days?
Blargh. If you’re good, playing tennis should be much more fun than football, basketball, etc…. You’re playing directly against another human who has strengths and weaknesses just like you, the ball can land in a million different spots, and challenging your body can be a lot more fun when you can do it in tons of different ways rather than a limited amount, like in some team sports with the specific positions, etc. In tennis, you are the team and have to adapt to every new situation in split seconds.
Sorry for the hyper-defensiveness, but I’m a 16 year old local tournament tennis player >.<
“See? This is why smart people don’t attend gatherings that are focused around (literally) one of the least entertaining sports the world has come up with. ”
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You’re kidding right? In concept yes, it is extremely simple but there is far, far more depth and excitement than is immediately apparent on just the surface. I’m not a race fan but I live a few minutes away from Lowes Motor Speedway in Concord, NC and the 35 billions dollars that people brought in during the past couple weeks seems to indicate that the sport is indeed popular and that many people find it interesting. (and not just rednecks)
That doesn’t mean they are intelligent or that it really is entertaining.
I may be a bigger fan of NASCAR, but I am generally a fan of racing, all racing. Each different type, be it Grand Prix, IRL, Dirt Bike, whatever, has it’s pro’s and con’s.
In NASCAR’s defense though, It is the 2 or 3rd most watched/attended sport in America, generates close to if not the most $$$ of all racing, and drivers from other series come to NASCAR and 99% of the time fail.
But supposedly it is so easy. And people who are fans of other series say that, then can’t explain why some of the best drivers from their series try to convert to NASCAR and fail.
Oh, and there is (er… was) the IROC, which pitted the best of all types against each other in 4 different style races. I believe NASCAR drivers have won the most. If not, I know the greatest winner/champion of IROC is a NASCAR driver.
thats sweet daddy dee from jeff dunham nice try though
The second (SI symbol: s), sometimes abbreviated sec., is the name of a unit of time, and is the International System of Units (SI) base unit of time. It may be measured using a clock.
SI prefixes are frequently combined with the word second to denote subdivisions of the second, e.g., the millisecond (one thousandth of a second), the microsecond (one millionth of a second), and the nanosecond (one billionth of a second). Though SI prefixes may also be used to form multiples of the second (such as “kilosecond,” or one thousand seconds), such units are rarely used in practice. More commonly encountered, non-SI units of time such as the minute, hour, and day increase by multiples of 60 and 24 (rather than by powers of ten as in SI).
The second was also the base unit of time in the centimetre-gram-second, metre-kilogram-second, metre-tonne-second, and foot-pound-second systems of units.
if you don’t understand the ordinal post rule… don’t try to do it. you just look like a douche.
I laughed out loud to this. Even though I think they’re trying to say they are second.
And a gold star to the Captain for actually reading between the lines on that post!
Auto ordinal rule. Lists what post it is and provides the trivia all in one post so you don’t have to!
Oh, poor guy, didn’t you understand what he said. Poor little thingy. There, there, have some milk and cookies and it will feel better.
i have an idea… take those milk and cookies and shove ‘em where the sun don’t shine. got it?
and i understood what he said. still thought he was a douche. and you’re rapidly propelling yourself into that category too.
What I’m gathering as I peruse the comments beneath all these lols, is that you consider to be a douche anyone you don’t comprehend. Good for you. Giving no quarter is the manly way.
I’m sure that since shortright is a girl she cares about being “manly”.
Whether she cares or not, she’s coming across kind of manly.
manly = bitchy? that’s a new one.
if you perused more of the comments you would have picked up on a few things.
1- as jane pointed out, i’m not a man.
2- my posts this last week have been quite a bit different than my normal ones (i.e. bad week).
3- there are certain people here who i don’t converse with because i don’t feel like beating my head against a brick wall.
4- i’ve got a really dry sense of humor and it doesn’t always translate well online.
5- i comprehend nearly everything. whether i choose to respond in the manner you think i should is entirely your own problem.
all good? or are you going to write out another diatribe about how you are a non-consumer who rides your bike everywhere and weaves your own clothes and all the rest of us who drive cars and shop at places we can afford (oh no, walmart might be cheaper than a specialty store!) are horrible people??
Chiming in here, in support of our dear tos, who by the way has been here a good long while and is deeply respected and is in no way “manly.” You, on the other hand, are new, pugnacious, insulting, and hard to read. Ease up and give us a chance to get to know you.
*hugs* thanks pitty.
it’s been a hellacious week at work and i’ve not been myself… tuesday the #2 of the company told me to do something for him and on wednesday i found out the #1 was supremely pissed about it and #2 blamed it all on me. i was THIS close to being fired… because #2 is a raging dick. it’s had me on edge until today when i finally heard i was not being fired for #2s mistake.
ugh, truth is the best move I’ve ever made was to go into business for myself (and yes I know I’m lucky to have that opportunity). I was always getting into those hideous political messes, and it was so hard to shake off the anger and tension. God some days I literally couldn’t get out of bed. Hold tight and remember that anyone who pulls stupid crap generally gets it back in spades. *hugs*
funny, i do own my own company. i really want to start expanding it to so that i can quit working for the aforementioned morons but it’s just not large enough yet. and i’m biding my time til #2 finally gets what’s coming to him. i’m the third person he’s pulled this sort of thing on in the last 6 months but i decided i wasn’t going to be his fall guy so i printed off all the emails and everything he’d given me detailing what he wanted me to do. i marched them into the vp of hr’s office. that’s the only reason i’m not fired. although now i know i’m on his shit list and he’s watching everything i do looking for any excuse to get me gone. luckily, i hate the job!
Count this as a blessing in disguise, because you won’t regret walking out for good. Toxic place; doesn’t deserve you! (Why is there always that one sociopath that tortures us? So we move on).
i’ve been applying… i am good friends with one of the hr people and as much as i love her… i can’t wait until i can walk into her office and tell her i quit. but i can’t do that until i’ve got something else lined up… freaking health insurance.
Right. For me, it felt like the only thing that allowed me to walk was my husband’s benefits. In the end I made enough to cover insurance if I had to, but it did feel like such a gamble. Like I said, I was lucky.
if i really can’t take it any more… i wouldn’t be upset if they fired me because then i’d be able to elect COBRA benefits. if i walked out i can’t. lol.
(Bragging) I’m not the top boss in our organization by a long shot (second in command of our store), but we’ve managed to oust the toxic team members who used to be a thorn in our collective side and counsel the rest on how to get along better. Guests and visiting employees from other stores are always amazed at what a happy place to work we have!
“5- i comprehend nearly everything. whether i choose to respond in the manner you think i should is entirely your own problem.”
Oh, thank Goddess. Could you explain how the Copenhagen interpretation simplifies the Shcrodinger’s Cat thought experiment? I just don’t get how positing in infinite and infinitely dividing number of universes yields a more coherent answer than believing a cat can be both dead and alive and only settles on one state when observed.
yes.
(i told you i wouldn’t necessarily respond in a manner you think i should).
No, you did not understand what B-79 said. You claimed B-79 did not understand the ordinal post rule, but not only did they understand it, they were very witty about playing with the rule, and in no way a douche. You got fooled, made an a$$ out of yourself, and are now trying to CYA so you don’t look foolish, but lets face it: B-79 was clever and you were not. Sorry, I call it like I see it.
seth,
i did understand it. i thought it was dumb and rather that writing out a dissertation on why i didn’t find b-79s post amusing i decided to be a bitch about it. i’ve had a tremendously terrible week at work and come here to be either amused or snarky… lately it’s been a lot more of snarky. i know you’re the be all and end all of all PK discussions because you know more than all the rest of us nit-wits combined… but in this case, you’re wrong.
I’m sorry, were you talking to yourself?
Apparently he was!
*looks at my Bingo board*
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Hey! There’s no B-79.. whatchya trying to pull?
No. The people playing would like to live to B-79.
Wah wah wah…
It’s like the B-52’s, only 27 better!
Anything is better then the B-52’s
Well, B-70s look way cooler, and B-36s are even more bonkers (6 a turnin’ and 4 a burnin’, and you need all of them to get off the ground!)
You only say that because you’ve never sung ‘Love Shack’ in a foursome on karaoke night. ;P
Rock Lobster, drunk on tequila. Good times.
Was the foursome ladies only?
Are you accepting applications for a 5th?
Sadly, no, two girls and two guys and it wasn’t planned just the last hearty souls left over from my friend’s birthday party. She and I took the girl parts, of course, because who doesn’t want to yell, “TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN ROOF! RUSTED!” to a crowded bar?
TL;DR
Not only is it boring to watch, but it’s probably the most dangerous spectator sport.
Just remember, some of the best wheels, fuel, and machine parts… Going round and round in circles.
It’s all fun and games until somebody flips into the fence.
Let the carnage ensue!!ELEBENTY!!
I’m pretty sure the fence-crashing is what most Nascar fans consider to be the ‘fun’ part…
I actually saw this (on TV) and personally I was watching in horror. So sure he was dead, but he got out and walked across the finish line because it was the last line. Some people were hurt from the debris.
Favourite film – Talledega Nights – you reckon?
If you’ve never been to a NASCAR event, you know not of what you blaspheme.
Round and round… Round and round… Isn’t it magical… Round and round… Round and round… Maybe one of them will die… Round and round… round and round…
Zzzz…
Yep, total blasphemer here.
Did I say anything about racing? I said EVENT!
Two words. Nascar. Camping!
Boo-yah!
Linkey.
Ok, you make a point. It sounded like you were going for the racing, not the sideshows.
I once spent almost a week camping at the Lowes Motor Speedway for an FMCA rally. No thank you. I like the simple pleasures in life like running water, a hot shower, not wading through knee-deep mud after it rains.
NASCAR? Meh.. I’d rather watch the Tour de France then suffer through a NASCAR race. I much prefer WRC, Super V8, or MotoGP. And for the record, F1 and CART is just as boring.
WRC and Le Mans 24 for me. NASCAR is only about drafting, and not turning right. There is skill involved, but it’s really too subtle to make it any fun to watch.
Too right! The thing about WRC is it’s all about timing and skill (oh, and being insane as hell on a narrow mountain goat path!)
Man, I love it when the cars roll and the spectators all run onto the track to flip them back over. And you forgot to mention that the narrow mountain goat path has a 200′ drop on one side…
I like Le Mans because it’s a grueling endurance test on a tricky technical course. Especially now that they broke up the back straight at the Circuit de la Sarthe with two chicanes.
Oh man. Baja 1000 with its awesome range of booby-traps!
I have a friend who races motorcycles, his big race is the Isle of Man Tourist Trophy, but he also races in the Baja 500 and 1000. Good times!
Ever been to Baja?
Unfortunately not, I never had the money or the time to go with him when he went.
Ok, how about the Paris-Dakur race? Talk about grueling.
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@seth: I totally forgot about Le Mans. You’re right about endurance, for both the drivers and spectators!
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Way back when it was allowed, I used to go out for the Barstow to Vegas runs. Not as exciting as the Baja, but it was still a lot of fun watching the nutcases that used to race.
Paris-Dakar is a great endurance race, but they had to hold it in South Africa this year, what with all the violence in Africa. It would have been like the pod race with all the Tuskan Raiders taking pot-shots at the competitors.
I meant, South America, duh.
They must have some really long snorkels.. (I know what your thinking, DWN. Put that thought away..)
O_o
Put what thought away? You said snorkels. Not everything with the word long is going to get my attention. I’m a sophisticated pervert, thank you…
Add car mounted weaponry and I would be interested again.
Make X number of left turns… While being Fired at! Mwahahaha!
Try Weaponizers on (I think) Discovery Channel. They do exactly that. Last one I saw had .50cals mounted. Rush hour would…be…so…SWEET!
Now, how do they pull that off nowadays? I figured killing each other would be illegal. Granted, I am all for it but I am curious how they get away with it.
The vehicles on Weaponizers are radio controlled–the crews are in underground bunkers.
(A good idea, given their love of explosive traps on the course…)
Ah, I suppose that would be cool enough. *kicks pebble*
It’s actually pretty amusing what they do to the vehicles to make them deadly….everything from spinning buzz saw blades to spiked ‘dozer buckets to mounted rockets.
*sigh* I guess… Just isn’t the same without the screaming though.
Hockey used to be until they put those damn nets up around the rink to protect the fans. What fun is that?
(The hand that got nailed by a stray puck in 1993 just slapped me for saying that. Blues-Blackhawks. Great game.)
Boy, talk about thinning the herd!
This is what a NASCAR car sounds like when working *engine starting*, this is the sound they make after breaking it *CRASH* then *BOOM*.
haha, i was actually at this race. talladega rocks! forget what the trolls say, if you’ve never experienced a talladega weekend, you’re missing a grand opportunity to witness all sorts of puddles on the perimeter of the gene pool
I can imagine the party atmosphere would be fun. The the racing itself is a bit boring.
I always loved the “Driving School” commercials with the NASCAR driver as the teacher…….
“Turn left………turn left………turn left here……..make a left……..turn left…….”
Finally the kid driving says “Can’t we make a right?”
The NASCAR driver looks at him oddly and says “Why would you want to do that?”
Lol!
The race ain’t over till there’s brains splattered on the retaining wall.
Fu(k the retaining wall… IN YER FACE!
And a hearty incoherent comment to you too.
Nascar fans are easiest to make fun of, You can say whatever you want however many times you’d like they like straight to their face! And when they start chasing you all you got to do is turn right and you’ll lose them!
I would feel bad about making fun of NASCAR fans, but after watching part of a race on TV the other day (it was on the TV in the break room at work, I had no choice), I have to say it’s the most boring thing in the world to watch. There’s more action in golf.
George Carlin: “That’s the only reason I watch auto-racing! I’m waiting for some accidents, man!”…”And if a car flies out of control, lands in the stands, and kills 50 spectators, fine! F#&@ ‘em! They paid to get in, let them take their chances with everyone else!”
George = God
If you want to see funny driving related videos please visit my blog!:
The Bad Driving Blog
If it were there would be no fence…. : 0
Guys, if you want to see NASCAR racing, forget the big tracks like Daytona, Talledega and Charlotte; get to the half-mile bullrings. 43 15 foot long cars into 880 feet of track goes, just!
Or do what actually turned me onto NASCAR; watch their excursions to the road courses!
the car isn’t even headed in that direction, it was going perpendicular to them when it most likely lost control and began to flip. Just because it is pointed in one direction doesn’t mean it is HEADED in that direction.
Just like this picture, natural selection is backed only by presupposition. This is not funny.
For all you NASCAR-hating trolls….. Not all tracks require simply turning left, you jackasses. There are two road courses on the NASCAR schedule, those being Infineon Raceway in Sonoma, CA and Watkins Glen International Raceway in Watkins Glen, NY.
Also note: Not everybody who watches NASCAR is a hick. I’m a college student with a psychology major. I find NASCAR to be exciting, in my honest opinion.
Also, I would also like to point out that more NASCAR drivers have been killed in the last 20 years than athletes in any other sport.
Now digest what it says about the intelligence of the sport of driving the best fuel, tires, and engines in laps…
I guess football isn’t a sport.
Um collegekitteh, all sports have injuries and deaths. The safety record in NASCAR has gone up nearly 100% since Dale Earnhardt’s death in 2001. If anything, it’s probably one of the safest sports out there right now. The picture above notes a rare instance where some fans sustained injuries because of parts of the car and the catch fence that came loose. But, I’m betting the stats will show that there are more serious injuries sustained in college football in one season than there are in all three top NASCAR series.
Snurf, I would also like to point out that pre-2001, there was an average of one driver killed per year in NASCAR, i.e., Clifford Allison and Neil Bonnett, among others.
Not to mention Kenny Irwin, Jr., Adam Petty, and others.
Again, collegekitteh, I point out that it is NO LONGER the most dangerous sport out there. I qualified my response with “…since Dale Earnhardt’s death in 2001.” Unlike the stick and ball sports, NASCAR has learned how to make their sport safer.