JOHN STOSSEL
JOHN STOSSEL
Because Geraldo’s mustache can’t be everywhere at once
(John Stossel)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: peoriashows
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Cheezburger Network Blog
*Realises she would like to learn something new*
*Takes deep breath*
FIRST!
Oh, and who are John Stossel and Geraldo?
They work at the Pizzeria at 34th and Lexington.
?
The time you have taken waiting for information, you could have wiki’d it and been back to realize that Mr. Wholesome was being a snide ass with a joke, my kind of guy.
AC should go to that Pizzeria anyways.
And thanks.
No worries, I got your back. Damn, now I want Pizza…
Stossel works for ABC (TV network in US) and is a co-anchor for their news show 20/20. Rivera is…um…well, he more or less started out as a tv news guy, but at one point spent about a decade hosting a daytime talk show along the Jerry Springer lines…he’s known for being somewhat sensationalistic.
Oh, and they both have mustaches.
And Geraldo drew a map on television giving away military positions while he was an embedded “journalist” in Iraq. Ha, nice going Geraldo!
The hagfish is a primitive marine fish of the order Cyclostomata, or jawless fishes (see cyclostome), of worldwide distribution in cold and temperate waters. Its rudimentary skeleton, of cartilage rather than bone, has a braincase, but no jaw. The circular sucking mouth has rows of horny teeth. There is a single median nostril and the eyes are poorly developed. Like the other jawless fishes, the lampreys, hagfish retain the notochord, a supporting structure found in higher vertebrates only in the embryo, throughout life. They lack a sympathetic nervous system, a spleen, and scales. Hagfish, or hags, spend much time embedded in muddy bottoms. They are chiefly scavengers, but also parasitize slow-moving fishes, eating their way into the victim’s body and leaving only the skin and skeleton. Also known as slime eels, hagfish have glands on either side of their bodies that produce enormous quantities of mucoid material, probably as a defense mechanism. The sexes are separate, although an individual may have rudimentary organs of the opposite sex. Spawning occurs throughout the year; no larval stage is known. There are 3 genera and about 20 species of hagfishes. The Atlantic hagfish, Myxine glutinosa, may reach a length of 30 in. (76 cm). The Pacific hagfish, Eptatretus stouti, has been extensively used in physiological studies. The hagfish is classified in the phylum Chordata, subphylum Vertebrata, class Agnatha, order Cyclostomata, family Myxinidae.
wow….
There’ll be a quiz on Friday. Be sure to keep notes.
*raises hand*
Will this test be multiple choice, essay, or oral?
Oral is more fun, so I vote for that one.
Seconded…
I love it when the setup joke works.
Me too.
Ya, Hagfish are disgusting little beasties…
But tasty…
There was an episode of Dirty Jobs on Hagfish, it was especially nasty
Dirty Jobs make me laugh. I do like Mike Rowe.
Me too! He’s right up there with Ben Bailey from Cash Cab.
…or can it? It’s pretty big. It crosses a time zone or two at least.
Check youtube for a great clip of this putz getting slammed by a pro wrestler.
Yay for funny!
AWESOME!
Before you compare John Stossel to that liberal pond scum lower life form that is Geraldo Rivera, you might want to YouTube him or 20/20
He’s come a long way from getting smacked down by a pro wrestler in the 80’s. He started as a consumer advocate, just as liberal as the next “investigative” reporter. But after a while he started to see the light (long before I did). I value his opinion quite a bit. As did Ron Paul, who thought about adding Stossel to his ticket as VP.
Calm down, no one is insulting your man crush. The only thing being compared are mustaches, which, you have to admit are quite similar.
It would have been taken one step too far if the comparison had included Tom Selleck though.
No, his mustache is entirely his own.
As is his chest hair.
*shudders in a not good way*
Geraldo Rivera? Ron Jeremy, more like.
I don’t think I’ve seen those two in the same room together. Just sayin.
Moustache rides: 5 cents.
I never got Uncle Fester a birthday present for whenever the hell he was spawned… So I will pay his admission. *gives a ten dollar bill* That should get him properly attended.
*WOO-HOO!*
You fools! That IS Geraldo’s mustache! Proof it really is everywhere!
Naw, that’s Elvis!
Geraldo’s moustache is everywhere, since it occupies ‘M’-Space, a complex spacial gasket that means it is co-terminous with all space and time…
A bit like Yog-Sothoth, but with more food debris…
Flying Spaghetti Monster approves of the Anointed Universal Mustache™.