If I had a nickel for every time
If I had a nickel for every time Windows crashed… Oh. Wait…
(Bill Gates)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: duh_cabbage
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Oh wait what..?? TELL ME!
The suspense is killing me too…
He already does!
“Yes, Ted, that was the joke.” -M. Eisner
The point is that he does have a nickle for every time Windows has crashed…
Or rather that the saying usually continues something like “I’d be rich!”?
Haha, this implies he is rich
That it does because he certainly isn’t poor. I would think CNN would tell me if he was turning tricks at the 7/11 for crack money.
I know I’d be at that 7-11.. looking for crack.
*blinks* Alrighty then.
No, it implies that Windows crashes a lot. Which is no longer true. But it still sucks monkey balls because it is too expensive, takes a freaking supercomputer with umptabajillion gigabytes of RAM to run, and doesn’t come with anything useful out of the box like Linux does. Why anyone still uses it for anything other than playing video games, I don’t know.
Because you touch yourself at night…
Are you saying people aren’t supposed to touch themselves at night?
*glances around furtively*
*mumbles* I’ll have to move this to morning then…
It’s okay, I’m guilty as sin too.
Well that’s a relief. My morning schedule is busy enough as it is, I can’t just rearrange it like Charro.
Yeah, I can’t do it during the day, there’s no porn on the work computers. I really don’t want to wake up an extra hour early….
I’m with Jane. My schedule just isn’t that flexible.
Unlike your mother.
Non-standads-compliant websites which require IE. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Standards, that should read. Stan Dads are ok according to 3 out of 4 Stans. The 4th Stan doesn’t know what’s good for him, apparently.
G.I. Joe! A real american hero!
Windows comes with a compiled kernel out of the box! I actually think that is useful. And it’s more than many linux distribuations.
Most Linux distributions aimed at home users do come with the latest kernel, already compiled. And compiling the Linux kernel isn’t that hard anyway.
Come now… the tenor of the post you’re replying to give lie to you pissing in the wind…
It’s like explaining Hawking Radiation to a fence post…
Macs are way better to use.
Not even YOU have that many nickels. Sorry Bill.
There aren’t that many coins in all of recorded history
you beat me to it. i was going to say that same thing.
Perhaps with all those nickels, he can buy a nose hair trimmer.
I was thinking the same thing. Geez, trim those puppies! They’re distracting!
I could have gone my whole life without seeing Gates’ nose hairs.
With all that money he can’t buy a nose-hair clipper?
They are pretty gnarly.
“If only I had a nickle for each of my nose hairs…”
That was what I was ’bout to comment! – Thanks
Help build the most popular, most widely supported and most user-friendly operating system in the world by a staggering margin: Check
Match this with an immensely useful suite that sets standards for word processing, spreadsheets and databases: Check
Update constantly, always patching security vulnerabilities as soon as they emerge: Check
Donate BILLIONS of dollars to charity: Check
Create a massively successful franchise whose flagship product is intermittently interrupted (ie. crashes) when new or poorly-developed hardware/software solutions are used incorrectly: Check
I don’t know where I was going with this. But to all the people who complain about Bill Gates and “M$”, to you I say BAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. That’s you. That’s what you sound like.
Yeah. Plus, it’s a team of developers making Windows now. And while I don’t like most of the Windows operating systems, they’re still pretty good. (There’s a reason I don’t get into the Windows vs. Mac argument. I like both.)
Windows XP, however, was a bad OS. Sorry, it was way to restricting and it tried to be too user-friendly. It was made for the common user, not the complicated user that likes doing whatever they want. Vista’s better about that.
“most user friendly”? In what parallel universe?
Yeah really. Ubuntu and Mac OS X both kick Windows in the balls, usability wise.
He’s smoking something potent.
..although until later this year at least, OS X will be the most polished and performant user friendly desktop operating system. Kernel mode setting, gallium 3d and all that jazz.
I tried the Xubuntu Jaunty beta release yesterday. It looks very polished, although the Xfce settings manager still isn’t too user friendly. Why do they have one button for window manager settings and another for window manager tweaks?
Yeah, the settings manager isn’t the greatest thing out there.
basically, make Billions of $$$ = be a target of jealous wannabes…
(he could throw some of that $$$ my way and I wouldn’t be upset… )
Didn’t you get the email? Apparently he’s gonna send me a fat check just for forwarding it.
Yea, I’m still waiting for my check. Must have forwarded at least… oh, um… *none* of those pieces of crap. Maybe that’s why I won’t be getting a cheque
Yea, I’m still waiting for my check. Must have forwarded at least… oh, um… *none* of those pieces of crap. Maybe that’s why I won’t be getting a check
Seal the code for DOS: check.
Steal the ‘User-friendly GUI from the Mac, but leave out the ‘User-friendly’ part”: check.
Use sneaky, underhanded tactics to crush initial competition: check.
Use vendor lock in to tie people to your systems: check.
Embrace, extend and destroy any attempts at true open standards: check.
Use monopoly power to smash your way into new markets: check.
Update and patch only after a flaw is forced into public attention, and only when the bean counters say it will be more profitable to patch: check.
Make a system so crappy that it can’t even do the BASIC JOB of an operating system: to keep the system from crashing due to poory written software or poor hardware: check.
Don’t donate ANYTHING until your wife convinces you to: check.
Your Windows skills are useless and won’t get you a job. Nobody is hiring Windows tards anymore, they are a dime a dozen. Open source is better, it’s free, and open source people are actually skilled admins, not retarded monkeys blindly mashing keys and clickity clicking on their pretty widgets. Don’t you wish you’d learned to use a real operating system instead of that polished turd you’ve got?
I had withheld comment on this particular string of posts because I knew you would eventually show up.
@Seth. There is a lolcat waiting just for you, over on the lolcat page.
As in:
OMG PONIES!!!!squeal!
*snickers*
“Don’t donate ANYTHING until your wife convinces you to: check.”
Seriously! What asshole listens to his wife? Or even lets his wife state an opinion? Whenever my girl talks I smack her and say “MEN ARE TALKING”
GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN!
The truth verily drips from your words, Mama’s basement loon.
I don’t know where I was going with this. But to all the people who complain about Bill Gates and “M$”, to you I say BAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. That’s you. That’s what you sound like.
Sometimes when I don’t understand what people are saying (like when they speak in very foreign languages, for instance), my hearing sort of saves me the effort of trying to decipher it but letting it all filter through as sound. I suppose it’s something like that that’s happening to you when you get the “BAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW”-sound?
What are you smoking, and where do I get some?
“user friendly”? Have you ever USED MacOS? It blows windows away in terms of ease of use and intuitive controls.
Windows is huge in the business world because of the numerous ways you can configure the OS to meet different needs, but MacOS is far superior for the average home user. The only problem is that Apples are too expensive.
sometimes i wonder what strange time bubble i live in. I’ve never actually had windows crash on me, I have however stalled out a Mac (because they don’t crash apparently, they just freeze for 3 days) The only computer I had that ever actually crashed was a compaq…and let’s be honest, you can’t expect much from compaq. they’re ticking time bombs of suck.
I’m in the same boat. I used to have problems with NT 3.51 crashing, but that was mostly hardware issues. I have never had XP crash on me, and my wife’s computer with Vista seems to be fairly stable as well. It makes me wonder what people are doing with their systems to make them crash?
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I will say that Win95/ME and anything prior sucked dogs knobs though.
ME=crap.
I just got a computer with ME, wiped the harddrive in less than 2 days. Xubuntu ftw.
Oh, I crash my work mac a couple of times a week. But. I use a mac because I’m coding platform-independently (yeah, well, as much as possible :p ), and it’s quite doable to run win and linux on the mac. (So it’s not the mac as such that crashes easily, but probably slightly shoddy software combined with various memory leakages, the construction of which I am completely NOT guilty of… ;p)
.
So yeah, there’s a lot involved with how stable you find a system to be – the machine you’re running it on, what you are doing, and some sheer luck, I think. (My personal computer which I use for surfing and playing computer games on now rns Vista and does that much more stable than my last computer with XP.)
I’ve only had one problem with my new laptop that came with vista. When i connected my tablet it had a weird reaction with pen sensitivity, apparently my laptop thought it was a tablet one. so…that’s it. no crashes, or issues since then, despite the fact I watch movies, play games, and basically use it like it’s a desktop.
Windows rocks! Vista is not Windows, it’s some kind of hybrid love child of creep.
I’d make some “what are you smoking” joke, but every variant I could think of has been used in this post alone.
It’s funny cos it’s true!
My Windows been crashing a lot lately, that why I switched to the Mac.
I never used a Mac, I’m used to my windows never crashing (unless I do something which would cause it to crash, which is quite rare).
When will people realize that they are the reason why windows crashes?
*throws down the gauntlet*
Not a tech/geek here and I do know that I decided to switch to Mac rather than fight with my PC. Simply making a business card in Publisher should not be grounds for a crash-many crashes. I have more other things to do besides talking to an ESL in India. Sigh, which happens to be the one accent of which I cannot get the cadence. (We have created a Franfurter Monster)
My mac doesn’t recognize my cameras, but it’s only running OS 10.4 Maybe 10.5 is better at that?
I don’t know, OS X doesn’t support my Dell worth a darn either, but that’s okay, because it came with Ubuntu preinstalled.
..so did my mom’s.
“OS X doesn’t support my Dell”
You can’t run MacOS on a PC….you need a fu(king Mac.
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Yes, there are ways to crack it to make it work, but not natively and once you force it to do something it wasn’t designed to do, stability issues are your own fault.
I have a mac. It’s a 1.25 GHz eMac G4 with a gig of RAM.
..doesn’t change the fact that Ubuntu hardware support is superior to that of OS X.
“OS X DOESN’T SUPPORT MY DELL WORTH A DARN”
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Explain.
Dell do printers as well… Most of them are supported by CUPS and as a result Linux.
I’ve never been able to use a Mac without it either crashing or simply not working – failing to read CD-ROMs, unable to open programs, file save errors, etc.
I’m totally unimpressed. Windows sucks (or at least did until Win 98), but the Mac sure isn’t a solution for anything.
I’m of the opinion that Windows is on par with MacOS classic. Not posix compliant, needs antiviruses, so on and so forth.
…What did Apple do with MacOS classic, and what’s it going to look like when the same thing happens to Windows? ^_^ I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Mac OS 10.6 is pretty sure to, for some period of time at least, be the ‘best’ desktop operating system on earth. (I’m skipping 10.5). Shortly thereafter, ubuntu should pass up 10.4 in terms of polish, putting it cleanly in second.
If you’re not impressed with OS X, wait for Ubuntu 9.10 and try that instead.
Who’s he?
I would say it’s time to spend a little bit of time investing in current affairs.
DNFTT!!!
What does DNFTT mean?
You’d think a guy that incredibly rich could afford a nose trimmer!
yes, let’s just get on this topic.
If you take a closer look at the pic, it would appear that it was taken just before the middle finger popped up. Am I right?
He would have $1.00?
Multiply that by around 150000000.4
Windows is FTW. Vista however sucks.
Since he has had a lighter hand in the company it has gotten better. Vista I’m not happy with. 7 rocks my socks. IE7 is godawful. IE8 is tolerable verging on good. I’m not saying him leaving was a good thing, just that the new line of products is surprisingly nice, from somebody who hates most Microsoft things other than XP (Office, IE, other bundled software included). I’m glad now if I buy Windows stuff and make the man rich and therefore help charity I don’t have to sacrifice the quality of my computer to do it
Supporting a company because of their charitable stance is great — but with the current state of the world, if you’re feeling charitable, please, donate directly! Believe me, charities will appreciate it!
Bill’s actually had a lighter hand in the company for the last six or so years now, even before Ballmer became CEO. Vista, IE7, those fall more under Ballmer (and to a lesser extent Sinofsky, even Ozzie).
Yeah, but they were started under him. And I do donate (microloans work wonders), I just mean that it makes my conflict on buying his stuff much easier. Now when I buy it, I get the feeling of “cool, money going to good places” AND “I’m not buying a steaming pile of ****.” I just really like some of the new hires and what they’ve been doing.
Wow, I love that my lols always inspire such quality debate. Instead of one of these he-said/she-said, shower’s for the masses, invest in rubber duckies threads, people actually discuss shit. I’m impressed. Thank you PKers!
See, what happens when the lols suck is we have to find some other way to amuse ourselves.
Whoa, feisty.
I was actually referring to the way that comments on this lol are actually about the content of the lol, rather than completely random threads. Perhaps you were looking for ICHC and you accidentally ended up on PK?
Since this recession started, Gates lost $18 billion
He’s gonna crash more windows for nickels
Bill,
You don’t have to raise your middle finger any higher, I got the message…..
Bill’s nose-hair trimmer FAIL!!
Good point–32 hours ago.
Reading through comments FAIL !!
HA HA HA HA HA.
If I had a nickel for every time an Apple product crashed, I’d be as rich as Bill Gates, it not richer. If this stupid iPod crashes and puts up a screen saying that it happened because it is “full” at 13 out of 80 GB used one more time, I’m throwing it in the trash and buying a Zune. At least Microsoft can admit that their OS had a fatal error when it crashes instead of trying to tell me that it’s my fault because the hard drive is full, even though it isn’t.
Quite frankly I’ve had more problems with Mac then I’ve had with Windows. My gen 3 iPod nano. It kept crashing, freezing, and other such things. ._.() I tried using a Mac to print off a paper on Monday. I failed so badly at trying to print, that I had to have my friend basically do it for me. >.>;
As for my desktop, which has XP and my laptop, which has vista, I’ve had no crashes. Not unless if you count dropping your laptop countless times, I’ve never crashed a computer. Though if I can manage to seriously /lag/ a 4g ram HP laptop, I can literally crash a Mach as if it was nothing. My only issue is price and computer speed (which could probably easily fixed with expansion packs and other such things).
Windows works fine for me.
y’kno u’d think that for all the money he has, he could afford to ge tthe nose hair trimmed before a photo op…