BABIES HAPPEN
BABIES HAPPEN
They’re just more likely to happen if you teach your teenagers abstinence only.
(Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin)
picture: cp. lol caption: Realdef
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I disagree — hormonal teenagers are gonna do it with or without sex ed and with or without condoms.
But it IS funny, and spelled right, too. WIN!
lol
Abstinence — almost as hard to spell as it is to do!
I like that…and true.
yeah that was a win.
She’s got a nice rack.
she’s either pregnant or nursing in that photo so the rack is a given.
Lame
You should see a vet.
I dunno…some will yes, but some teens actually do listen to the stuff, even if they don’t want to admit it.
They do listen, and those who promise abstinence probably mean it very sincerely. Logically, in the face of all the evidence, in the cold hard light of the classroom or Sunday school room, abstinence is clearly the better option for teens. Then one night, opportunity knocks, and smiles…and whispers sweet nothings, and feels so damn good……and the kids without some real sex-ed don’t have a clue how to even use birth-control, and certainly don’t have a box of anything useful in their bureau drawer. So they do it anyway, then pray. Do you know how effective prayer is in preventing pregnancy???
Or we just didn’t think. Luckily, it was a false alarm but sobered us up into getting birth control. Then…
It was on like Donkey Kong… I miss the energy of being 18.
About as effective as prayer is when it comes to most problems.
^^Obviously not very religious^^
But realistic
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, sure. Some teens are so fugly they can’t even get in on the race while the hormones are rampant, I hear. ;p
I think the point is that it’s A-OK to choose not to have sex, but it’s nigh on impossible to do it with proper precautions if all you’ve been taught is “Just do it, not.”
Maybe if they were more informed by Sex Ed and had Parents that weren’t afraid to tell their kids about condoms, we’d see a decrease in young mothers.
At least informing them of their options is better then just giving them one option that they are obviously not going to follow.
There’s a name for people like that: grandparents.
Not always true. Some young women,just like they have the urge to have sex, they have the urge to be mommys. I know it is frowned appon but it is true. I think people need to be more understanding period. Maybe open up an orphanage or day cares for young women so they can control this urges just like masturbating can cure sexual urges.
I think the Magdalene Laundries were an attempt at that…
LOVE.
Christianity is all about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
*weeps* Sometimes I wish reality didn’t force me to be so cynical.
Not every girl that wants to have sex wants to be a mum.
not every girl wants sex because they want to be a mum…assumption much
I think that’s why the poster said “some young women”….reading fail much?
Mandy……Its not an assumption its an opinion, you self righteous f tards need to get a life. I see its moved from grammar to this now. I used the word “some” too. Annoying people “WIN”
Dissimiltude i was replying to Evils not the poster M-k! Reading FAIL to you. He said that if they were more informed there would be less teenage pregnancys. I said Not always true…Think you know what all comes next….
There would absolutely be fewer teen pregnancies. There just wouldn’t be zero.
@Bg1986: Dissimiltude was pointing out to Mandy that she misread your post. Reading fails galore!
@Danbala: I think BG understood that, but just had a nesting fail there. She
posted under diss instead of Mandy, perhaps?
Hmm.. A nesting reading fail, maybe? She does explicitly address diss… “Dissimiltude i was replying to Evils not the poster M-k! Reading FAIL to you.”
Hell, I’m still trying to figure out who M-k is….
Yes… The poster May-kuh? Nah, i give up.
I give up, too…I’ve read the thread several times and as far as I can tell it’s clear that I’m addressing Mandy’s misinterpretation of what Buickgirl said, so fsck it….
If I had a Buick, I’d have unresolved anger issues too.
If you had a Buick, you would probably be older then Charlie!
My bad I admit it. When he said poster I Thought he ment the poster like the pic. Mk is like ok. also buickgirl1986 I am 22 and I have 2 buick cars they rock. never left me sitting anywhere in the past 5 years.
Fair enough.
@buickgirl: Ok, got it! (And by the way, for clarification, I’m a she…)
Don’t lie. You know YOU would very much like a baby bump.
Yes they are but they are MORE likely to do it if you tell them No. That way it seems more hot.
I could make a comment about having sex with teenagers and how when the say “no” it seems more hot.. but that would be just wrong!
Yes, but then we’d have to call Chris Hansen and the Dateline NBC team.
I think it’s not quite that simple, but I think it’s getting near the truth as I see it.
I believe you’d get more sensible sex-debuts just by demystifying it and making it less “cool”. The US, to me, seems to do the opposite, where sex is much more harmful than violence etc.
SEX is more harmful than violence?
only if its BDSM
Yes, but if they are educated about STDs and condoms they sure are more likely to use one than if they have no clue.
Yup. AND getting rid of this notion that ‘it just happens & you can’t control it’. You can control yourself long enough to put on a rubber, for crap’s sake. Too much friggin’ TV and too many bad movies reinforce this notion that you’re helpless in the face of desire.
I think you might have touhed on one very vital thing about sex ed there. If teachers would refrain from “it should be saved till marriage and that’s good” and switch to something like “most of you will have your first fuck rather soon, when you’re drunk or otherwise intoxicated – it will be awkward (and if you’re female probably painful) and you will, statistically, end up regretting the first peneteration. But, for the love of sanity, use a condom, so you won’t have to regret gonnorhea (which is starting to get untreatable courtesy of MRSA) or HIV at least ” … some of the glamour might fade. It’s ironic that one of the most sex-centered nations has been opting to go “OH NO YOU WON’T” on the poor teens.
… if you’re rally concerned about abortions, you should friggin’ force all past-puberty teens to wear all possible form of contraception all the time. (Unless you’re sadistic enough to enjoy the notion of voluntary sin and punishment more.)
.
On a totally unrelated note – shouldn’t most “love the sinner, hate the sin”-christians be very, very, VERY much for gay marriages? I mean – if homosex is the sin, marriage seems excellent to save them with. We all know that married couples have bugger all sex, yeah?
i had a catholic friend try to explain it to me once. I’m sure this doesn’t work for most, if not all the other denominations, but his explanation is, they don’t find homosexuals to be evil. it is something you can be born as. However sex is for making babies, and marraige is a contract, that makes you together in the eyes of god, to make babies.
so someone who is gay and has been sexually active is only as sinful as someone who is having premarital sex, or no baby sex.
I call bullsh*t on that argument because the Catholic church has no problem with couples who are past child-bearing age or couples who can have kids having sex. I’m not calling it on you, FaileV, but on whatever dipsh*t fed you that pack of crap.
Can’t not can.
Yes, that’s what I’d go for too. If marriage is truly about building a family, no couple who haven’t managed to breed yet should have the right to marriage. (And no woman past menopause, ofc.)
@FaileV
Marriage is actually a covenant, not a contract. there’s a difference, though i don’t have the entire argument in my head. I read it in a book by a highly regarded Catholic guy
Yeah whoever posted this is a moron.
Even if your kids are still gonna go out and mess around, you should still tell them whats right and whats wrong.
Just giving up is terrible parenting and THAT is what causes kids to screw up their lives.
Not focusing sex ed on sex ed instead of just saying “don’t do it” equals giving up?
The point is that with sex ed they are more likely to know how to use condoms, and that greatly reduces the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
I had to go through the absintnce only program. They were basically saying “birth control has a 100% fail rate so you might as well not use it anyway”. My school has soooo many teen mothers and prengant teens. If you teach them about BC, they may still not use it but if they at least know about it and that it decreases risk of pregnancy there’s a bigger chance that they will use it. Studies have shown that teens who pledge abstinence are just as likely to have sex as those who don’t but much, much less likely to use BC (since it would mean preparing for something they promised not to do).
LOL Nice.
Myranda you make a good point, but when parents let teachers lie to kids about the effectiveness of condoms and birth control they have no one to blame but themselves.
don’t get me on this topic. I was in a debate in class on this topic and I won. Oh yeah, I was for Sex Education programs and completely against abstinence, and I can refute ANY statistic you throw at me and how abstinence only programs don’t work. So bring it anyone
Why are you against abstinence? Some people choose to abstain, and it works for them. Are you against them for doing it?
i think she is talking about programs. It’s one thing if a person is taught all the options and chooses to abstain. that’s a fine plan and if it works for you that’s great, but it doesn’t work for everyone, and expecting that is not a good form of sex ed, especially when they lie about the available options. I went to an abstinence only program when I was younger and they told me that condoms do NOTHING. that i would just as likely get pregnant or get an STD, so until college i was under the impression that was true. when you teach a kid that, they won’t think of using condoms if the time does come. that isn’t okay.
Sexual education doesn’t mean you have to go out and have sex. it just shows you how to use contraception if you choose not to abstain.
I’m totally against abstinence. I think teenagers should have more sex, so should everyone else. In fact, I’m having sex right now. So there. ;p
With yourself?
Threeway.
While typing?
She’s talented, isn’t she?
it’s all that practice.
I didn’t take that typing class in High School for nothing.
I thought they called that ‘keyboarding’ now.
that makes it sound kind of dirty >.>
Someone certainly got “boarded” all right, if you know what I mean (which would be nice because I don’t know what I mean).
Mmmm, a girl that knows what to do with her hands, breasts, and mouth… *mentally drifts off for a while*
Wait, what are we talking about? Typing? Well, I type about 42 a minute when I am being lazy at work but my personal best was 96 wpm. Ya, typing…
Hey Jane, you type here often? I can already feel my “WPM” rising..
Sometimes I think that contraception just makes people feel more secure than they should be. A friend’s sleeping with this guy (who, btw, was a bastard) -but everythings 100% fine thanks to protection, she forgets once, gets pregnant and says “it just happened.”
“it just happened?”
WTF?
Ya, it just happened. As in she forgot. It happens. It isn’t great or wonderful but much worse could happen. Least she isn’t freaking out…
when my sister in law got pregnant at a young age, her response was “I didn’t know you needed to wear a condom EVERY time!” and her mom’s a freakin’ nurse!
x.x The thought of hearing that just killed me inside
@DWN: oh no, she freaked out. She actually ended up having an abortion. Pretty sad. It’s over and done with mow though.
@DWN: Oh no, believe me -she freaked out. Ended up having an abortion, actually. Pretty sad.
@AC: Well that sucks hardcore…
@DWN: If it sucked hardcore, she might not have gotten into that mess…
(God, I’m so going to hell)
definitely not against abstinence. If you choose to abstain, great for you! I know I sure as hell didn’t and I really don’t expect most teenagers to. I do believe in teaching them the right ways. STDs are a huge problem and if you don’t know about the dangers of sex when you’re younger, you’re going to 1. get pregnant 2. have an STD or 3. Have both.
Planned Parenthood is a wonderful source of all information.
I’m not against abstinence I’m against lying to kids about birth control, via my comment. I never even mentioned abstinence, but I’ve read the curriculum and it’s full of lies.
I.e sperm can travel through a perfectly unbroken condom.
Do you mean that sperms do not, or do you mean they can?
*easily confused*
Do you mean actual, Brigham Young-style abstinence-only programs, or abstinence-plus that gets branded as abstinence-only for political reasons?
So, is that a real question or performance art?
Go back and read my comment slowly and carefully, sounding out each word as necessary. Then, spend a moment thinking about those words together, and what they might mean. Then, speak.
k?
Go back, read my complete and utter annihilation of you in the other lol, and come back and try to speak without a twitch. Get over yourself.
My, but we have a high opinion of our flaming ability, don’t we? It’s a shame you’re obsessively searching through comments here than putting them to use somewhere else.
Oh, and trolling by imitation? Played out.
And where do you suggest that I put the other comments to use?
I’m just waiting for you to answer my original question, since I went ahead and answered yours.
Dhoti got spanked so hard masochists were complaining at the level of intensity.
I can’t even tell you how impressive the pundit kitchen best and brightest truly are.
While you still have yet to back up a single claim. All I’m asking is for ONE question to be answered. That’s it. Just one.
Look, I’m not going to play this hypocritical little game. You told me you could back your position up — but surprise, when I pressed you on it, facts became opinions and you couldn’t actually support anything. Somehow, that’s a perfectly acceptable tactic for you, but not falling for the bait is a moral failing on my part. I guess it’s because any dissenting opinion is “not a legitimate part of the debate” or whatever the code word for conformity is this week.
honestly everytime you are asked to back up what you say with fact you say it’s beneathe you and you won’t play the game or whatever. you’re fritting around here like a hotshot running your mouth then dancing around answers. If you were really that intelligent you’d realize it would take two seconds to find a link and shut everyone the hell up, but no, you’d rather waste your time telling everyone how they like to shut down opinions when you have done nothing but.
Again, you’re missing the point. Froofrou lied, and very obviously — he started off with facts that he could prove, that, surprise surprise, turned into personal opinions when he actually had to put up. That’s sleazy, hypocritical, and lazy.
What part of this progression escapes you?
Once again, I post the SAME LINK I posted on the last LOL in answer to your challenge. Geithner speaks, the stock market drops.
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Where is your proof of your 90%?
the part where you conveniently use frou as a scapegoat to distract from the fact mothergoose asked immediately where you pulled your info from, and you never answered. I’ll give you frou lied (she didn’t, she gave an answer, but i’ll give it for the sake of the argument) but the other 4 people that asked you to back your stats didn’t. You made a blunt statement that it is 90% obama’s fault that the economy is tanking, and you never gave any proof at all. You can continue dancing around and singing a song about how we’re just trying to shut down different ideals, but until there’s any evidence you didn’t pull a stat from your ass, it’s just ignoring a person with loud opinions.
I’m not sure how it still escapes you that just a simple link to a source would appease almost everyone here. Perhaps it doesn’t and you really are just an idiot that painted themself into a corner.
@everybody- anybody interested in maybe talking about the topic instead of poking each other with hot tongs? I’m just sayin’, nobody here seems especially retarded, and as much fun as it is having (and reading) pissing matches online, it would be kinda cool to see what people thought. Just my one cent, but you two hate each other, you could just keep hurling insults, or you could either debate or ignore each other, either of which would lead to lower blood pressures.
@froofrou, no one’s arguing that, on at least one occasion, the market fell after a Geithner speech. Proof of it occurring once, however, does nothing to back up your 60% assertion (certainly not your much les than 60% assertion), nor to distinguish Obama himself from a top administration official. However — if that’s all you’re looking for, this link is the DJIA for 2/25, with Obama’s daytime economic recovery remarks highlighted. It’s as much proof of my 90% as yours is proof of your 60%.
@FaileV: I don’t have the time or the energy to keep up five separate threads all about the same point — this is an occasional distraction from my day job, after all. I’m going to pick one at most that looks promising and run with it, and given the sort of flaming mothergoose was pulling elsewhere, she wasn’t it. If she was really that interested in an answer, she could have read the thread that was there.
@Johnathan — point well taken. Hopefully this will wrap things up.
My original assertion was that Geithner speaks, stock market drops. I’ve proven that, I’ve already admitted that the 60% was a guesstimate on my part, something that you have not yet done with your 90% figure that you can’t back up. Your constant lack of cites, backpedaling, throwing up straw men, red herrings, and changing the subject, along with your personal attacks, mark you as the lowest of the low: someone who is only out to GET flames, not to actually have a rational discussion with anyone about anything.
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As far as me not being interested in your answers, you STILL have not given any answers. You continue to assert that Obama is responsible for 90% of the stock market drop, while not being able to back that up. How is that an answer? Your link proves nothing of your claim. It only proves that the DJI dropped, not that “90% of the drop is directly caused by Obama speaking”
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I might take you seriously if you weren’t so silly.
Not a huge fan of Dhoti (nothing personal), but this seems like a fair enough question. There is demonizing on any political issue, would you like to explain why you want to teach kindergartners every detail about sex (to turn the demonizing to the other side). I think even the real abstinence-only programs are worthless, but this is a fair question to get a good debate started. I’ll play nice and respond: those paragons of virtue at Brigham Young.
If you’ve read Dhoti’s previous stuff, it’s more or less the text equivalent of draining a septic goitre on a Korean pot bellied pig… dense, pungent, but not something you’d want on your shoes…
And I learned the ‘facts of life’ courtesy of a BBC Schools programme, at the age of 6 when I was off school ill with tonsillitis. I don”t think it scarred me as much as it did my mother, when I explained to her how things worked… it was a mildly interesting side bar to my primary interests of colouring in and reading my brother’s war comics
it’s more or less the text equivalent of draining a septic goitre on a Korean pot bellied pig… dense, pungent, but not something you’d want on your shoes…
And the high pitched squealing!
Oh, the squealing …
‘abstinence-plus’ aka ‘everything but’
Everything Butt?
That would prevent pregnancy….
Apparently unless you’re a cow, if I remember the “how to artificially inseminate a cow properly” discussion correctly.
And a WIN from diss!
@viking gal: the amount of odd information you can pick up on PK is amazing, isn’t it? I can’t imagine any situation in which that would be useful to me, but you never know…
Can you elucidate on that comment please? How are teachers lying about the effectiveness of condoms and birth control? I would think that a condom is far more “effective” at preventing teen pregnancy than, say, riding bare-back. And everyone knows that you are NOT going to stop teens with their raging hormones from having sex.
They “lie” about the effectiveness in that they include user error. Correctly used, for example, hormonal birth control is ~100% effective. But it’s only listed 95% or so, due to people being misinformed on how to use it (such as trying to use it after the fact to prevent pregnancy).
As a result, condoms are only listed as about 60-70% effective. Ignorant people latch onto this and say they’re horribly ineffective compared to abstinence. Correctly used, it’s in the upper 90%’s.
I shudder to think at someone using a condom “after the fact” to truly try to prevent pregnancy like some people do hormonal birth control pills.
F: Honey, I’m pregnant. . . I know we didn’t mean to, but–
M: Quick! Take your birth control pills! Hurry! They’re like, 100% effective against the preggers, right?
F: I think that’s before-hand.
M: *straps on condom* Hurry up, let’s do this the right way before your ovaries notice that we weren’t using them for the past three weeks.
F: . . . Okay.
*straps on condom* Hurry up, let’s do this the right way before your ovaries notice that we weren’t using them for the past three weeks.
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Man, guys will say ANYTHING to get laid.
Um erm… Errrr…
Nice shoes?
Nice try lol =p
Don’t forget members of the Catholic Church telling people that condoms don’t prevent AIDS :rolleyes: Oh, and that condoms are actually deliberately infected with AIDS by evil Europeans to try and wipe out Africans, that’s a good one too.
“members of the Catholic Church telling people that condoms don’t prevent AIDS ”
“condoms are actually deliberately infected with AIDS by evil Europeans”
Cee – huh? I missed those gems, where did you get those? Was Pope Nazi out & about again without his mouthguard?
I think that one originated in africa. There was once a mass sterilization at the hands of the europeans, so later when the untrustworthy europeans asked people to wear condoms ideas of condoms containing aids, or they’ll make your dick fall off popped up.
If one does a pretty desultory google search, there are significant amounts of disinformation from Roman Catholic/Conservative Church sources… The current one being that latex is permiable ‘under certain circumstances’ to viral particles, ignoring that 99% of
condom are Noxynol-9 or -11 spermicidal lubricant, that has been show to kill the HIV retrovirus quite effectively, and impair the infective abilities of Herpes.
Lies, damn lies and pronouncements of the church, one feels…
that’s probably the stupidest reason ever to promote promiscuity… Not teaching abstinence. It’s not that hard (no pun intended)
Actually abstinence only sex ed is proven to not to work… it literally has no effect on teenagers… studies show that those who abide by it would have obstained anyway… also how is this promoting promiscuity? Its not just a black and white issue…
Black and white? Racist!
lol!
Yep totally…:)
Good points, though.
Literally, no effect. In fact, every single child that was taught abstinence is either pregnant, or has impregnated a girl.
Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds?
WIN
Basic education in statistics:
If 20% of people who get no sex ed get pregnant, and 20% of people who get abstinence only sex ed get pregnant, then the abstinence only sex ed had literally no effect.
You sound like an idiot.
Realism – Meet Logic.
Remember if you have sex, use a condom or you might get infected with FACTS.
Nuh-uh – not if you stand up all the time. Right?
Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds?
Yes. Yes, I hear how ridiculous you sound.
If your grasp of statistics and logic is that feeble, you’d be better off practicing your grip on something more predictable and simple. (Masturbation seems to be popular among the kids today.)
As long as people aren’t lying about other options I think abstinence programs are a good thing. Sex is fun but abstinence is the only 100% effective way to prevent unwanted outcomes.
There is nothing with Abstinence being talked about or being strongly suggested… but adding other options to that is just more logical that Abstinence Only…
thats what i meant. Sorry for any confusion.
no prob
“abstinence is the only 100% effective way to prevent unwanted outcomes.”
`
Never getting into a car is the only 100% effective way to prevent getting in a car accident. However, what it is not is an effective way of learning how to be a good driver.
Yeah, but you can sure get a lot of practice driving with a joystick and a monitor!
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(What? I play Pole Position! Okay, that didn’t help, did it?)
Only one position? Maybe you should read the car-ma sutra…
good thing you have to be licensed to drive, sort of like how you should have a license before you get it on. just my opinion.
and abstinence is only 99.999999% effective. Just ask Mary
Despite her protestations to the contrary, my aunt Mary did NOT have a virgin birth.
Not really, you can still get hit by one.
I’m such a fussbudget that I actually thought of that, but I couldn’t think of any way to word “car accident” so that it was implicitly distinct from “car hitting a pedestrian” (or “getting hit by a car”, depending on your point of view).
Abstinence programs are pure comedy. At least for Canadians and Europeans.
Why? I don’t think most people here are talking about the religious
“have sex and your penis will fall off” programs. There are all sorts
of people who abstain. Why is it a joke? (This isn’t sarcastic I really am asking)
You mean when people have sex their penises DON’T fall off?
Oh…………um………….of course they fall off!
It shrivels up and gets sucked into another dimension too!
So don’t have sex kids!
No, but masturbation WILL make you go blind, or get struck by lightning, or turn you Japanese. I’m pretty sure it’s one of those.
Hairy palms!
Which I never understood, because wouldn’t the fapping friction defur palms?
no no it just killed all the dinosaurs
Abstinence programs and Jesus killed the dinosaurs, silly.
That was because Jesus had a pet dinosaur as a kid. Trigger the T-Rex was Jesus’ best pal until Trigger attacked a neighbor and had to be put down. Jesus was so devastated he decided no one would ever know the love of a dinosaur pet again.
@death by kewt: LOL under my name…funny! (not mine, of course)
[Link]
I’m sure most of you have seen this before, but it proves it to me.
I seem to be missing Omnipotent Yellow and Leviathan Green from my crayon box. (I’ve seen that before, but I still love it, btw)
@ACSIS: I hadn’t seen that one before. Is it real?
It’s been around for a couple of years at least, and I used to think it was real, but I’ve never been able find any other image scans or references to “Beginner’s Bible Coloring Book” other than this image, so it’s not looking too good. It is a great image though.
.
I found a bigger version [link]
and if you look at the background, it’s clear it’s not crayon. Maybe it’s watercolors, or
photoshopped?
You know, looking at the bigger version. It’s not real. Damn! ;-(
Look at the text – It’s obviously not printed on paper. It’s obviously computer generated.
As ‘beat up’ as the paper is, there are no wrinkles in it, not one.
.
Oh well, I still like it.
Link for the coloring book.
the coloring book is real, I’ve seen it in a church Sunday School class.
that page is fake, however.
The page is still very well-done, considering it’s a joke.
[whines] I wanna dinosaur!!
What about hairy knuckles?
I wondered why you always wore those gardening gloves…
Yeah, and I save money by not having to buy the lined ones, thanks to my knuckles.
“What about hairy knuckles?”
`
If you have them, you should probably not become a dentist.
* is a blind Japanese man who smeels faintly of ozone and has singed hair* It’s a lie! Masturbation has no ill side effects! (other than sticky fingers, and a possible increase in laundry bills)
He’s turning Japanese, yes he’s turning Japanese… I really think so!
So lets sink another drink
cause itll give me time to think
If I had the chance
Id ask the world to dance
And Ill be dancing with myself
Ohhohhohoohoooooooohh!
It’ll be okay, AC.
*hands you back your penis and some Gorilla Glue*
AC’s a girl… if she has a penis laying around unattached I’d have to say her science project went WAY too far this time.
We used to have one on our kitchen floor.
I am reminded of an Iain Banks story in which the Father keeps a fake penis in a jar which he use as proof to lie to his daughter and tell her that she is a boy who was castrated at birth.
tick tock.
*checks watch*
Danbala, are you going to elaborate anytime soon?
Oh, it was a bull’s penis, dried. For the dog to chew on. He liked it.
That gives a whole new meaning to Beef Jerky…
He liked it.
That’s what they all say…
@danbala – i’m never coming to your house. at least not without an armed escort.
Bully sticks!
They stink to high heaven, but I swear they were the most popular thing in the pet shop I used to work at…
Lol, I’ve found it’s not a good thing to tell the students in my training classes what bully sticks are. It tends to turn them off of that as a treat for their dogs.
And yet, pig ears and cow hooves are fine!
Pig ears and cow hooves aren’t *quite* as gross as “lamb puffs” (dehydrated sheep lungs).
Or worse… dried pig’s hearts. Bleeagh.
See, I know it’s just overly-practical me, but if I’m gonna eat the other parts of the animal, I feel it’s nice that, at least, none of the other parts went to waste.
I know, I’m weird. The most disgusting thing to me about dogs are their propensity for eating poo. I mean, I know *why* they do it, but it’s the one thing I can’t get over.
@ubr:
Wuss!
@StreetPreacher:
Pig ears smelled worse, as far as I remember it. (Otoh, they didn’t last more than a few minutes, so it was bearable.)
I don’t think I’ve ever seen either “lamb puffs” or cow hooves as dog chew toys here.
@Jessi:
Yeah, I reason like that too. Less waste just has to be a good thing.
They also make walking sticks from Bull penis [link]
And whips (pizzles)!
Or. Well. Made. I bet someone, somewhere still does.
“That gives a whole new meaning to Beef Jerky…”
`
Or Beef Stroganoff…
My dad has a coin purse that a Native American woman made from a set of bull balls, complete with the hairs that come down to a point below. (I’m not always very sure about my dad…)
Ew. No. I have never had a penis and don’t plan to…
*Gives Lefty penis back*
You’d better find the real owner of that…. Maybe a newspaper ad? Or you could just put it on ebay..
Maybe thumb tack it to the cork board outside of the PK Lost and Found Desk?
I think maybe you should use double sided tape instead.
I feel bad for whomever has the walk of shame to claim that
Oh, goodness… I’d wonder where that one had gone off to… heheh…
*returns it to her collection*
*grumbles* damned runaways…
@Aedriel: Wouldn’t that be “hop-aways?”
They sort of do that inchworm thing… so, scoot-aways?
OK, this just begs for the song ‘detachable penis’! If you’ve not heard it, give the link a listen!
Enjoy!
There’s nothing wrong if someone decides to abstain but teaching your children that abstinence is the single most effective way of contraception is plain stupid. A teenagers life is unpredicatble and as a parent the best you can do is to enable them to make their own decisions.
but abstinence is the single most effective way of not getting stds and not getting pregnant…
I think by “single most,” Sinderlin means “only.” Yeah, not doing it at all is the best way to prevent negative side effects, but prophylactics have come a long way and ignorance never helped anyone.
Let me quote someone who already made a point:
“anon
March 4th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
They “lie” about the effectiveness in that they include user error. Correctly used, for example, hormonal birth control is ~100% effective. But it’s only listed 95% or so, due to people being misinformed on how to use it (such as trying to use it after the fact to prevent pregnancy).
As a result, condoms are only listed as about 60-70% effective. Ignorant people latch onto this and say they’re horribly ineffective compared to abstinence. Correctly used, it’s in the upper 90%’s.”
Abstinence also only works if you do it right…
I tell my students that abstinence is best. And if you can’t do that, phone sex. (internet might bring viruses, after all!) But that any contact has risks. You can catch something just from touching! Then: ALL the contraceptives and how they do/don’t work, and all I know about safer sex…and then the realities of pregnancy and labor and STD’s. Knowledge gives one pause, as well as power. Anything less is not fair to the young folk!
That and death seem about equally excellent in that aspect.
it’s a tragic comedy to many of us in the US. schadenfreude.
I had no idea how much they’ve increased in the US system, either. When I read up on it today I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But then I laughed.
Shallow gene pool is shallow.
Also: Abstinence. ur doin it wrong.
shallow gene pool needs some chlorine…
Everytime I think about abstinence only education I think about that coach on Mean Girls. “Don’t have sex because you WILL get pregnant AND DIE. *picks up a glass jar of condoms* Here, take some rubbers.”
PS I know he’s not teaching abstinence only, it just seems as stupid.
When’s the wedding?
The recent comments box is amusing: “In a democracy babies happen.”
So thats why those crazy “red” ideas didn’t work. Nobody was around to carry the torch!
LOL!
“This just in …. a shock” “in a democracy” “babies happen.”
“Republicans have been the party of Big Business and depression; the Democrats have been the party of the Common Man and of war.”
Analyze in what ways this statement applies to TWO of the following events:
Panic of 1893 and Spanish-American War
Panic of 1907 and World War I
Great Depression and World War II
it seems you’ve confused our joking over pregnancy with political science class. I think you’re room is down the hall on the left.
WTF? Are we sitting for our SATs all of a sudden?
Or, as Jessica Walter as Lucille Bluth said:
“I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.”
Man, I miss Arrested Development…
“I don’t understand the question and won’t respond to it.”
[sorry if this double posts]
“I do not understand the question and won’t respond to it.”
[potential triple post - preemptive apology, if so]
42?
No way Diss, don’t you know the answer is ALWAYS Chi Chi Rodriguez?
That poor little Latin boy in drag!
yes, 42 is the answer to life the universe and everything and i believe that this current question falls under the category of “everything.”
We know the answer, but we still don’t know the question.
the question is “what do you get when you multiply six times nine?”
How many roads must a man walk down?
douglas adams the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy (42 letters)
@ ubr
but he wasn’t part of the original programming, so the real question was lost due to phone sanitizers.
or the original part of the program cross bred with the phone sanitizers and marketing execs…
and the question and answer make perfect sense if you count in base 13…
Adams is quouted as saying that not even he was sad enough to
crack a Base 13 joke
didn’t he say he just looked out the window and came up with 42. everything else is pattern recognition
I seem to recall it was something like that…
“How many roads must a man walk down?”
`
Seven.
diss…I’m pretty sure it was a multiple choice question hon.
*puts down bong*
*cough*
My answer is “C” and I’m sticking to it.
“Republicans have been the party of Big Business and depression; the Democrats have been the party of the Common Man and of war.”
Analyze in what ways this statement applies to TWO of the following events:
Panic of 1893 and Spanish-American War
Panic of 1907 and World War I
Great Depression and World War II
`
[whines] Is this gonna be on the test?
Wednesday is essay-question day. Remember!
Actually, Bristol’s school didn’t teach abstinence only…
but her mother is a big proponent of it
Palin opted Bristol out of general sex ed so she WAS only taught abstinence only
Ref Please! Ta
yep cuz i gots to have me sum sex before i have a withdrawal yuhur
good thing i based mah wholee schedule around mah sex life
love me some smex mhm
I miss the days where children were a blessing, not a curse.
pretty sure children to an unmarried teen are usually curses not blessings.
Yeah but it’s their own damn fault. Outside the case of rape.
Asshole.
Were you calling me an asshole, or did you reply to the wrong person? If it was me, and my opinion that kids shouldnt be having kids makes ma an asshole, then so be it.
Doesn’t really matter if you’re an asshole or not. You shouldn’t make assumptions that babies born to unmarried teens are curses and not blessings, IMHO.
the problems with this sort of thing is it works for some people, and others it pushes them into poverty, they become emotionally stunted, and all other problems that last a lifetime. Unplanned teen pregnancy is more likely to be a curse on the mother and child than planned adult pregnancy. but of course there are variables and a huge scale for people to fall into.
You shouldn’t make assumptions that babies born to unmarried teens are curses and not blessings, IMHO.
I read the keyword as “usually”, and I think that’s a valid guesstimation.
From the two pregnant teens I’ve known, I’ve observed that teen pregnancy is a curse, but the baby itself is always still a blessing. Of course both teen moms I’ve known had families that supported them and helped them finish their education. Up to, and including, college level education.
When was this mythical golden age?
I think it was when we needed them as farm labor.
and then you had to wait for them to grow old enough to work for their keep.
my parents had two boys simply because we could do manual labor. now they only call me to lift heavy objects and fix things for them…
At least you’re not wiping their butts.
we did garden work… XP it was never the fun planting, it was the annoying breaking up dirt stuff. cause you know…gardening is girl work >.>
“gardening is girl work >.>”
`
You have it exactly the reverse of the way it was in my family. Cooking, sewing, cleaning, and babysitting (unpaid, naturally) was girl stuff. Repairs and yardwork (i.e., gardening) was boy stuff. Of course, I thought at the time that it was horribly old-fashioned and sexist, but now that I actually have to eat my own cooking, I can see the wisdom of it.
Back when villages would die out completely within a generation without a new crop of children to keep their legacy going.
But not necessarily for the mother–each and every pregnancy could mean her death, because there were no antibiotics or blood transfusions.
working hard with snakes biting your ankles, pft men got it so easy
In the cleverer days of Swift?
only if they’d listen to his modest proposal.
Yes, and for Bristol abstinence worked not just once, but twice.
She was out of school for five months right before “Trig” was born. That’s the down syndrome baby that the family probably planned to get adopted out to a member of their church, only the adoption fell through. Suddenly Sarah Palin announces SHE’S preggers to cover up for Bristol. And then you see photos of Sarah going from a completley flat baby to silly fake pregnancy pillows in the span of literally three weeks, trying to make it look like she was pregnant. Pretty amazing actually.
Bristol must have bought into the lie that you can’t get pregnant after you give birth, or you can’t get pregnant while you’re breastfeeding…because, WHAM, she turned around and got pregnant with Tripp. By that point I think her mom had enough of covering for her, thus the rather mean way in which she suddenly announced to teh ENTIRE world that her daughter was pregnant. Unwed, high school dropout, two babies, one of which she has to lie about and pretend it’s her mom’s – Bristol has a total Jerry Springer life going on for her.
All because abstinence worked out so well.
Check out the palin deception blog for all the clear details about what went down.
Check out the palin deception blog for all the clear details about what went down.
Please tell us what you’ve discovered about the Kennedy assassination!!
Blogs are always the first place I look for factual, reliable information with cited sources.
I have proof the moon landing was faked [link]
Wow!! It’s a good thing you caught that one!! Think of all the money the US can save by eliminating those charlatans called NASA!!
It’s about 15 cents per adult per week… where would you spend your 15cents?
(That was a joke btw… I have no idea of Nasa’s current funding…)
18 1/2 cents a day.. .so close..
i had a science teacher that worked for nasa, great guy, he had a funny story about how NASA would have to go request funding with the military. So they ask the military “what happens if we don’t give you this money” “all our lives will be in danger, we won’t be prepared to defend ourselves ect. ect.” then nasa is asked “what will happen if we don’t give you this money” “we…don’t get to look at…space anymore”
@FaileV: Great story! It makes you wonder how they ever got off the ground–ar, ar!
Based on the way they used stats and the major design flaws in the shuttle, blind luck.
What irritates me about the idiocy in your post is that you think that physical appearance means anything in a pregnancy. I literally went from people asking was I faking my pregnancy to looking the 7 months pregnant that I was in a matter of days. It’s all in how you carry the baby, your genetics, your frame, how much weight you gain during the pregnancy, how in shape you are….
-
Please, get off the drugs now before the men in white coats come to take you away. Sarah Palin did not fake her pregnancy with Trigg.
The trolls on both sides are thick today.
Have you been leaving out the Troll Kibble ™ again?
Don’t look at me! That stuff comes from Rho’s evil botanical lab! She manages to hide it every time I inspect, but I know it’s in there.
It’s over in the corner with the WMDs, I’m sure
Is THAT what those were? I thought all that yellow cake was to support Rho’s twinkie habit.
That’s where it has to be, right? I mean, Clinton said it was there…
*dusts froo and Jane with evil botanical (and only mildly radioactive)
F.O.R.G.E.T.™ powder*
Depends which side you think old darri is on… Could be Dem, but equally likely, there is some Republican who is looking to trash Palin for 2012. The woman is far from universally beloved among the Elephant herders…
*has an asthma attack* Inhaler! Damn you and your untested products, Rho!
I think you’ll find she just tested them…
Unc, if you keep dropping hints, we’re going to have a little “talk” about your hush money…
aren’t the trolls usually a little “thick”?
Touche, my friend. Touche.
Not if you turn the liquidiser to max with the ultrafine blades…
Am I the only one sick of these jokes? They were amusing when we found out she was pregnant for for cripes sake, she’s HAD THE KID. It’s OLD by now
I’m afraid it’s a gift that keeps on giving while ever the Reps play the morality card in their rhetoric… thus it can never get dull…
Hey, I’m just as surprised as you are. I wasn’t around when this joke would’ve been fresh, but decided to go ahead and make it anyways. Regardless, I’ll thank PK for the honor of being featured just the same!
It’s probably because she was on Fox News a fortnight or so ago, talking about being a teenage mom. I found an article with embedded video. So, not extremely old news.
I’ve got a deal.
Democrats stop with the ‘Bristol hmake babby’ jokes, and Republicans stop with the Clinton & Blowjobs jokes?
Clinton’s knob jokes just keep being funny! Sorry… and the humidor jokes…
You really think only Republicans make jokes about Clinton?
Stop with the dick jokes???
NEVER!!!
teaching abstinence has never worked because even teens know that sex feels great. the best you can do for them is to keep them safe, knowing that there is no other way to help them.
The best Sex Ed talk I ever heard was this: “None of you little miscreants have any business playing in the rain. But, If you have to venture out in that weather, wear a damn raincoat!” Thank you MSGT. Dill, 9th grade ROTC instructor. It doesn’t matter what you teach kids, some are going to listen, some are going to ignore it. I had sex ed for 5 years in school, my mom gave me the talk, I heard it at church, and I still ignored it. I’ve never worn a condom in my life, and I’ve had a pretty promiscuous life during the 10 years I’ve been sexually active. I’m damn lucky I’ve never contracted anything, and don’t have 20 or 30 little mini mes running around. If I could go back and do it all over again, knowing what I know now, things would be different. I still don’t wear condoms, but then again, the only person who’s taken a ride with Chachi in the last 5 years is my wife.
At first, I didn’t get this one either. The last time I checked, it’s been about 2,000 years since abstinance ended in a pregnancy, but reading over the comments, it seems like this is more about the programs that teach sex-ed. When I was in school, I sat through the boring, gross sex-ed classes with everyone else. They told us that contraceptives, if used correctly, could be up to 95% effective. Honestly, I didn’t care. They mentioned abstinance in passing, as if no one ever chooses that route anyway (I did), but I was glad they at least informed everyone how to use the available protection. If you look at it objectively, there is no reason to cover abstinance any more than mentioning it as a possibility. If a person is going to choose to wait until marriage, they will do so on their own and need no special instruction to execute that choice. If, however, a person isn’t going to make the choice to wait, they had better know their options (because they are *certainly* not going to phone home and ask Mom or Dad how to use a condom at midnight…). I wasn’t even aware that there *were* abstinance-only sex-ed courses. Those must be some awfully short courses…
All in all, I have to agree with the sentiment that, like the science classroom, information should not be sensored just because you don’t like the information. If a kid chooses to wait until they are married, good for them. If not, at least they are prepared.
~Quag
*dusts froo and Jane with evil botanical F.O.R.G.E.T.™ powder*
PK nesting fail!
What a load of crap! Teenagers have been making babies since the dawn of time. Wanna stop it….glue her thighs together and his penis to his thigh.
you could duct tape my penis to my forehead and i’d still find a way to use it.
just one? You an amateur, or just modest?
If it reaches his forehead, he doesn’t need more than one.
Bet that position isn’t in the Kamasutra!
*dusts froo and Jane with evil (but EarthKind) botanical F.O.R.G.E.T. powder*
PK nesting fail #2!!
Uh huh, sure. I’m thinking you applied said powder to yourself by accident.
*aaaaahhhhh-choo!!* Dammit!
Lay off the Palins, okay? Bristol herself came out and told teenagers that they shouldn’t go abstinence only. That’s a really big sign. So make some funny jokes again. YEEESH. Like about how Michelle Obama hasn’t had any fashion sense since Inauguration Morning!
Hmmm. Bristol Palin still? Again?
Well, as a poster I’m not sure this works – the second line is sh*&ty as written; it should be reworded, clipped down, and made a lot wittier. I don’t know if the subject is even funny but since it’s poorly executed maybe it is. Alaska *does* teach sex ed and not just abstinence, but I guess that doesn’t matter much when a Palin is in sight to mock. Bleh.
The LOLS break into four categories: Those Republicans hate, those democrats hate, those everybody hates, and stupid little worship pictures (see the eighteen billion ones on that flight in the river).
And about the only ones that are funny are those in the smallest group: those everybody hates
Then there are the ones I find funny… Clinton blow Jobs, McCain being Old, Bush Being Stupid, Hilary being evil, and Palin’s Soap Opera life…
What about Hil’s crazy faces? I LOVE her crazy faces.
Her own recent appearance on Fox News (with a little side note to say that abstinence only might not be all that teens need to hear) kinda makes this lol not too taken out-dated, I think. I linked to an article somewhere else in this thread, I’m just too tipsy to find it atm.
So, I’ve got a question. This is *LOL* News and Politics. So, I’m an average reader, looking for a chuckle…where do I *LAUGH*?
I agree, Not funny at all…
Well…I do believe that children whose parents just tell them “Don’t have sex until you’re married” and don’t tell them about proper contraception ARE more likely to get pregnant.
My parents were always very open with me and I knew how babies were made before I was even in elementary school and when I got my period for the first time they also told me everything about sex and contraception…I had my first sex at the age of 14, I was on birthcontrol and we were using condoms EVERY time…now I am 22 years old and I DON’T have a child wheras some girls I went to school with who had overly religious parents are now 22 years old and have a 6 year-old kid…if you’re properly educated about contraception(with properly I mean it is made sure among other things that you need the condom EVERY time and need to take your pill EVERY day) accidents like that don’t happen…and if you do get pregnant despite all this then you can honestly say(if you weren’t using condoms but took your pill properly) that the pill failed you…and that DOES happen in very rare cases!
A lot of young ladies somehow don’t get told that certain antibiotics can counteract hormone methods. So they get strep throat and pregnant at the same time. I have a student this happened to. She loves her little girl, but would have preferred to have her after college…
I’m getting more than just a little sad about the current state of affairs here, where dem dere young’uns are getting all kinds of STDs because they’re only on the pill, and forgetting (or are undereducated about the fact) that they only are good as a protection against one particular STD called pregnancy. :/
Cromwell said:
Put your trust in God; but be sure to keep your powder dry
So you can teach your teenagers abstinence, but also teach them how to use condoms…
Finally, a sane voice…
i hate saying this… but fester is right…
This is ridiculous, I grew up in the church, I was taught abstinence. That sex is something that should be saved for marriage and i believe that whole heartedly. And i’m certainly not pregnant. It all depends on the kid… You can’t make that assumption about all kids that are taught abstinence.
You can’t make that assumption about all kids that are taught abstinence.
No one does.
I’d love to hear from you when you’re 25, single, and still a virgin.
lol I love that whenever something like this is posted, it’s always seen as an invite to debate the matter.
Yes … It’s pretty much the culture of PK – to debate anything the picture and its caption might allude to, and often veering off into rather unrelated topics as well. What else could it be good for?
Isn’t that the point of having a comments section
I kinda thought it was, ya know?
Yes, but you’re distracted by shiny objects too…
This is interesting because I just discovered that in the only county in Illinois that makes it a rule to teach abstinence-only, there’s a high school near my college that has a nursery in it!
Must… look… away… Too… much… irony…
I totally agree with this caption. If you want your kids to avoid pregnancy, STDs, STVs, etc. then teach them how to avoid them (condoms, The Pill, etc.) not just “DON’T HAVE SEX”. Kids repel…if they think rule number 1 is “No sex” guess what they’ll do????
Teach your kids about condoms and tell them “I will be very sad and disappointed for you if you have sex now at this age. Not because you had sex but because of what you will be missing out on in your adult life, when you find that special one person to spend the rest of your life with. I’ve given you this information to protect you if you choose to have sex, but I hope for your own peace of mind that you will wait until you are older.”
I always got the message “If you’re not ready to talk about sex, don’t have it. if you can’t talk to the guy about contraception, you’re not ready. you’ll be ready eventually, but wait till you can talk about it.”
The thing is though, Moygo, I’ve have over half a dozen ’special one person’s in my 27 years. If I’d decided that my virginity was going to be something I saved for my husband (as though my body was a gift for him, and that in itself is an uncomfortable concept), then I would have probably rushed into marriage with someone who would turn out to be unsuitable. They all have so far.
Because I was armed from an early age with knowledge of how to protect myself, I was able to approach sex as an enjoyable activity. It feels better when you’re in love, for sure. But I think it’s easy to mistake desire for love, and if you won’t let yourself explore the desire, you’re likely to make poor decisions in regards to your relationships. ‘I desire this man, so I must love him. I love him so I should marry him. I’m married to him so I have to stay with him. He beats me because he loves me. I will be a better wife and maybe he won’t have to beat me.’ etc etc. That’s one scenario that could have happened had I saved my virginity for my first long-term partner. But as it was, I hadn’t ‘given’ him anything of mine, only shared it with him, and so I could walk away.
Or, you could just wait and not rush into sex or marriage until you’re sure this is the one you want to grow old with. I mean really, people. You’re not animals. Have some self control. You’re making the rest of us advanced mammals look bad.
Since it hasn’t been said yet…I’d hit it.
I’d make a baby with her.
23 year old virgin. proud of it. said no to a gf asking “do you want to have sex right now?”….then she broke up with me. Abstinence = the best way to go
Good for you. Seriously. Stay true to yourself and your morals; you’re the only one you have to answer to.
Plenty of teens with liberal parents get knocked up too. They are just less public about it. Abortions eliminate the evidence.
I love me some tig ol bitties
This, without a doubt, is one of the dubest, lacking in even basic logic captions I have seen on this site.
You are now free to ignore my statement and make fun of my typo.