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Barack knew something terrible had happened to the time-space continuum, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.
(Barack Obama and two RCMP)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: Jason
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Cheezburger Network Blog
“Here I am to save the day….!”
This comment is win and I refuse to read any further.
Thank you LG!
I was starting to wonder if my sense humor was marooned alone on Planet Claire!
What am I missing here?
United States is a part of Canada, as per some strange time problems like that short story where they go back in time to hunt dinosaurs and someone steps on a butterfly and they come back and everything is different? I think it’s something like that.
Wait….
So they went to hunt dinosaurs….and stepping on a butterfly changed everything? Not the hunting of the dinosaurs?
Well, no. It’s been a really long time since I’ve read it but it was this big business and they were only supposed to kill dinosaurs that were already supposed to die because otherwise through millions of years the course of everything would change.
Hmmm…I see.
Interesting.
As near as I can understand (at least from a literature standpoint) is that there are two theories about time travel. One is that no matter what you do you can not change time, that if you went back it is because you are supposed to go back and that everything you do you were supposed to do anyway. The other is that ever action, no matter how small has unseen consequences that ripple out and change everything so that with enough time lapsed you could go back to an entirely different future from the one you left.
My boyfriend tried to tell me his theory of time and that time was constant and it’s everything else that’s moving, and there’s two types of time travel: Human Time Travel (that humans can do by reversing things in their control) and I forget the other one. Something like having to reverse the world o_O I had a hard time wrapping by head around that one
lol.
You can’t just make things up. Time travel is bullshit, and you’re rambling on about sci fi. FFS.
“You can’t just make things up. “
I assure you, burblke, that I most certainly can just make things up. Sorry you are imaginatively challenged.
That’s a made up answer.
What? The purple mouse under my desk told me to post it.
Is that where he got away to? I’ve been looking for Pinky all day! (My color challenged friend named him :p )
Oh, good, I’ll send him back right away. The Cheshire Cat’s been eyeing him in a very threatening manner.
I also am very capable of just makin’ shit up. Whether or not you choose to beleive me is entirely up to you!
Don’t pretend to know things you don’t. If you knew anything about physics, or science in general, you’d know that the best minds in physics can’t rule out time travel. When you act like a jerk while pretending to know things you can’t possibly know, you come across as a total waste of oxygen.
“you come across as a total waste of oxygen”
Like French people?…..j/k
“the best minds in physics can’t rule out time travel”
I was under the impression that time travel, while theoretically possible, would require some large enough amount of energy that it is, in fact, impossible.
By “large enough amount of energy” I mean, “More than all the energy in several suns”.
Depends on which theory you subscribe to. As we do not currently have the means to do the experiments necessary to tell us which new theory in physics is more correct, we simply don’t know. Loop quantum gravity says one thing, brane theory says another, the myriad flavors of string theory all say different things. Some theories require vast amounts of energy for time travel, some don’t. Some don’t allow for it at all.
So what’s your belief on the “Planet Killer” high energy particle CERN is looking for? Are we in any danger if they ever get the damned thing up and running?
For those of us with tin foil hats, we’ll be gold!
Nope. No danger. CERN is looking for the Higgs Boson. According to standard theory, this is the particle that gives objects mass. Finding it’s exact characteristics would go a long way towards showing which of many competing theories are the most accurate.
–
You see, the thing about CERN is that while it may be working with the highest energies mankind has ever produced, it pales in comparison to what happens in the upper atmosphere every day. If it were possible to create a mini black hole or a strangelet at CERN’s energy levels, we wouldn’t be here.
–
CERN just got their systems working again, click on my name for a link to some of the web cams at the facility.
Seth, your mini dissertation reminds me of someone I interviewed for a position several years ago. He had Ph.D in Quantum Mechanics but decided that he wanted a career change and was trying for a position as a Unix Admin. He didn’t get the job, but he made me understand quarks and such in a 20 minute discussion.
@Eds: You’ll need to switch to a gold foil hat,
or else you’ll clash.
@Seth: I love webcams. Love them love them love them. I want a whole wall of webcam feeds…
@rho: I’m in deep dung then, I can’t afford the gold one.
Okay, now that I’m @home I have time to do more than just identify Seth’s link as an interesting webcam. I almost bookmarked that page! Thanks very much.
It’s one of my favorites. The opportunity to use it doesn’t come up that much, but the payoff is ever so nice. No need to bookmark it,
just google ‘cern webcam’ (it’s the second one down, not the first) should the opportunity to use it arise. “Hey I heard cern was coming back online, let’s watch, I think they have a webcam…” I’ve seen certain gullible types nearly mess their drawers in a panic. >:)
Yeah, I had a brief moment of “wth?” followed by “wouldn’t a black hole pretty much instantaneous?”
I actually just thought it was a weird video glitch until I saw “click here to replay”, then got the joke!
The cars in the parking lot getting sucked in is my favorite part.
I love how he missed the word “literature” at the beginning of my post. To be fair, however, he’s probably never seen that word before.
Zing!
How do YOU know time travel is bullshit?
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh that was the best laugh I’ve had all day, it brought tears to my eyes.
Besides, you CAN just make things up.. Bush has proven your theory invalid.
You can’t just make things up.
You are very funny. You should be writing lols.
actually time travel is possible and has been proven, but only forwards, look up space travel and how time slows the faster you go.
There is also the idea that whenever somebody travels back in time
they create a new “branch” of time. Basically, you can do whatever
you want (when you travel back) without destroying your timeline
but a new one was created the moment you went back. This means
that when you travel back to the future (copyright infringement?)
you have to be careful about which future you are going to–it would
most likely be difficult to escape from the “branch” created at the onset
of landing in the past.
More importantly, do people get to eat dinosaur meat in the United
States of Canada timeline? And do they use them for construction like
on the Flinstones?
I wish there were an edit button. Or, at least, that type didn’t go out of the screen.
Do hard returns when you get to the end of the field,
and you won’t have the one or two word lines.
“hard returns”? Uhm…I’m going to make this inappropriate..can you tell me how to make it hard? And don’t say Viagra!
PBTT! Shamwipe please?
I think she means use the enter button like it was a typewriter
return key? …remember those things called typewriters? I’m
old enough to have used both those AND computers in college!
Or maybe that isn’t what rhorho meant by a hard return…
Tennis backhand?
You mean like in Back to the Future where time skewed off into a tangent and Marty’s mom hooked up with Biff?
Oh no, I’ve gone cross-eyed.
Sure just as long as the one he left still exists somewhere.
That’s almost like Donnie Darko, except it’s the jet engine that causes the split and Donnie goes backs to fix it.
I think Donnie Darko is actually a time loop via a wormhole.
I’ve been told that I’m wrong though. However, if I’m right, Donnie Darko is actually going with the idea that time is definite/unchangeable. The alt timeline only exists long enough for time to correct itself by way of Darko.
The Wiki article on Donnie Darko mentions a pocket universe that exists for a brief time and then disappears.
I found the Wiki article more entertaining than the movie, actually. I’ve seen too many Star Trek episodes to be entertained by “Time Continuum” stories any more.
Hey, if there are any writers or producers out there reading this, take a memo: DON’T EVER DO ANOTHER TIME TRAVEL BASED MOVIE OR TV EPISODE EVER AGAIN!!! Humans live in a world where our decisions have consequences, and we like to think the same holds true for the characters we choose to let into our thoughts. Knock it off with all the variations on “and then the little boy fell out of bed and quit dreaming”.
Did you know that they’re making a sequel?
I cannot understand how that movie (which I
happen to like)lends itself to a sequel.
[link]
Merging it back into the head can be a real b*tch though. Temporal reality needs to upgrade to SVN.
Times Without Number by John Brunner is one of those mind-fcks…
In some theories, time travel is possible, but altering the known past is not. So if you go back in time and try to shoot your father, something (possibly totally bizarre, like a meteorite smashing into the bullet) will happen to keep you from doing it. You can only alter parts of the past that haven’t been observed, and thus could have gone any number of ways. Sci Fi author and physicist Robert Forward wrote an intersting book using that theory as a plot element.
–
In the ‘many worlds’ hypothesis, every time an outcome could go multiple ways, it actually does so. The universe splits into nearly infinite different copies, each copy splits, and so on. In this hypothesis, you can’t really travel back into YOUR past and alter it, you can travel back into another, different past.
–
It should be noted that the equations of quantum physics are time-independent: they work just as well run forwards as they do run backwards. In a very real sense, a positron is just an electron traveling backwards in time. Physicists still haven’t figured out why time seems to go in one direction, given that the equations don’t seem to care.
–
Some people believe that time is an illusion of consciousness, that it doesn’t flow at all. In this hypothesis, our perception of time occurs because individual conscious moments refer to information from previous moments, but not to moments in the future. These moments don’t have to be generated in any particular order, but they will appear from ‘inside’ to occur in sequence/ Greg Egan’s novel ‘Permutation City’ explores this concept in mind-blowing detail.
Thank you for that.
I finally found the documentation I was looking for [link]
I know what you’re talking about. It’s called A Sound of Thunder by Ray Bradbury. Its relevance to this picture… I don’t know.
OH!!! I remember that!! They had hovering platforms and someone fell off one and looked under his shoe and found the butterfly.
Wasn’t it called the Butterfly Effect? (not the Ashton Kutcher film).
A Sound of Thunder-originally a Ray Bradbury story.
There’s a great Ray Bradbury short story on this theme, but it isn’t dinosaur hunting, it’s dinosaur sight seeing. Very chilling.
Reading further on fail. Sorry folks.
I like Ray Bradbury but not that story…. I don’t like stories that have to rely on the twist to be interesting…
the movie was good though…
Sound of Thunder! That was the name of the story and movie, right? Or something close to it. I didn’t remember that it was one of Ray’s although in retrospect it makes a lot of sense. I always liked Something Wicked This Way Comes, book and movie. Every Halloween when we were kids we’d watch that and this Disney movie called Watcher in the Woods. Good times.
Yeah, you’re right…. Something wicked and Fahrenheit 451 were great. And I liked the Martian Chronicles. Some of his stories annoyed me but I suppose you can’t like everything…. I’m currently looking for “Death is a lonely business” but I can’t seem to find it…
my favorite ray bradbury book is still “the illustrated man”, such a great plot device…
I like his short story, ‘There Will Come Soft Rains.’
The Martian Chronicles! Also great book.
Yea i see what you mean. I thought it was a mean joke to us Kanucks >.<
“A Sound Of Thunder” is the title. If memory serves, the author was Issac Asimov. (Google says my memory is full of fail. Ray Bradbury was the author)
I think it’s that Barack has teleported to Canada…
What are you missing? The humor. They forgot to bring the humor…
In this alternate reality, it’s spelled “humour”
Hi. Welcome to the Internets! You may be wondering why some people here spell things differently than you. You see, a long time ago, some of decided that the rest of you spelled things like dolts, and so we dumped all of our Ts into a horbor or something. Well, anyway, we formed a new team, or ‘eam’ as we like o call i. And because there is no ‘U’ in ‘team,’ we got rid of a few of those, too. Then in the war of 1812, we traded all our lorries in for trucks and we made our footballs oblong just to spite you guys. But that was a long time ago and we’ve since forgiven you for continuing to spell things like dolts.
rofl. very nice seth…
I think Seth closed this chapter nicely. I can’t wait for the next installment of “For Whom The Bell Trolls” or, as we call it here, “STFU!”.
It never ceases to amaze me how many people wander onto this board and make the assumption everyone here is in the US. What did amaze me is that this guy assumed everyone wasn’t.
Even Eddie Izzard admits that there are too many unnecessary letters in English words, and if we can’t trust Eddie Izzard as our guide to English culture, who can we trust?
I can’t think of a single person, actually.
Man’s not only hilarious, but a damn good actor.
I rather liked him in the series “The Riches.” After I accepted the fact that that butch looking guy was, in fact, Eddie. Quite a talented actor, unlike some other stand ups turned actors I could name.
You can’t imagine how much it annoyed me that they cancelled “The Riches” without resolving any of the plot lines.
The second season was uneven, but the first? Brilliant. I blame the delays and problems caused by the writers’ strike for the weird, short, unsatisfying second season, which probably led to the cancellation.
Never saw “The Riches.” It, unfortunately, never made it onto the list.
I never had that much problem w/him being so manly because I rarely watched him do stand up. I listened to it. When I watch it all I can think about is how bleeding uncomfortable that would be.
You say ‘erb and we say herb. Because there’s a fùcking h in it.
My personal favorite is still “Room With a View….OF HELL! Staircase…OF SATAN!”
Hang on now, we invented the language. You just lazily dropped a few ‘u’s.
It took all the colour out of your words.
If by “invented” you mean “cobbled together from other languages” then yes, yes you did. That said, don’t even get my started on the way we just butcher words over here because idiots can’t spell. Sulphur, potatoes, and who knows how many others. It’s gotten so bad, even spell check doesn’t even know how to spell “sulphur.”
Oookay. I am starting to sound like a broken record, but as usual:
I don’t get it, please help me understand? :/
See my not really clear explanation above.
Or, if you prefer, watch lots of old episodes of the various Star Trek series!
All debate about the meaning aside, I find Mounties absolutely adorable. <3
Me too.
There’s something about that uniform…
And the jaw line!
hee hee hee mounties …
-
*pats inner child on head*
Having dealt with them, I’d suggest they’re only as adorable as the average cop. On the other hand, the uniforms do rock, and the Musical Ride is something that everyone should get to see at least once (and not just on television or YouTube).
having been beaten up by the RCMP before i will agree with you, they’re just like cops every where else…
I heard you were trying to sneak out of Canada with Sasquatch.
In his underpants, if you know what I mean…
Moral – wax that sac and crack…
being drunk in vancouver and yelling, ‘eh?’ at cops is not a good way to spend your vacation…
All I can say is “Due South.” That show was so hot.
THANK YOU! That was pretty much my first thought…. then I’m suddenly reading about string theory, quantum physics and paradoxal nature of time travel and thinking, “Umm..der.. Mounties are hawt?”
Cops are cops. We never, ever see them in the ceremonial red uniform, except as backdrop to visiting dignitaries, or when they do one of their special events.
In other words, the red uniform is something on TV, not in real life.
In real life, they dress and act just like cops.
Well… perhaps I should have said the uniform is adorable, make you feel better? I freaking know they’re cops and they don’t wear the uniform hardly, that doesn’t mean I don’t like it.
I prefer old episodes of Dudley Do-Right, seems more fitting to the picture. Plus, who doesn’t want to see dumb blondes tied to railroad tracks muahahahah
Wow. So, um, a constantly bewildered moron seems like the best possible representation of the RCMP? Gee, on behalf of my country, thanks just a bunch.
But he was a GOOD-hearted moron!? Beats the heck out of Rambo, as a national representative, if you ask me!
When first dating my hubby I found out he had been a Mountie. Me, being a Rocky and Bullwinkle fan said, “OH! Like Dudley Do-Right!”
He said, “No, more like Studly Hungwell.”
let it go, they had a real-life constantly bewildered moron running their country for 8 years. They’ve got a bit of steam to blow off.
Not a bad explanation. Though I’d already got it. And Danbala, don’t worry, it’s not very funny.
The men in red with hats are members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Canadian being the key word here ^_^
Woot! Go RCMP!
Can this well-meaning Mountie stop Whiplash’s evil plan?
WIN!
Just don’t tase him!
I think this are really dumb. Possibly the worst one evern. Can we see something funny now? LMAO what are you even trying to say? Don’t be mean this is actually really hilarious. You probably just don’t get the joke. Man what do you even mean? You’re so stupid.
Up above, I came to the conclusion that you are a waste of oxygen. Now I see that you are, in fact, severely mentally challenged. I apologize. C’mere and give me a hug. Yay! You’re a winner!
make sure to tighten the chin strap on his helmet too. wouldn’t want him falling on his head and actually hurting himself again.
No, it’s ok.. as they say, “No brain, no pain.”
ok. i concede. eddie is right.
-
but if we’re going to deal with him at all… can we train him to lick the windows until they’re clean rather than just licking the same spot all day long?
Isn’t it adorable how he plays with the keyboard? It’s like he’s really typing!
He *is* really typing…Jane… (*wink, wink*)
*whispers* Oh right, I get it. *slightly loud and slow voice* You keep working hard there Burblke, good boy!
This ARE dumb? Are you the one who wrote the yahoo answers question that showed up in FailBlog a couple days ago??
I may hate you more than other posters hate me. Congratulations.
It was nice that Barack came to visit us first
I heard he liked it here. And he ate a beaver tail too!
(Its a donut guys, not an actual beavers tail.)
It’s not a doughnut, it’s a sweet fried flat piece of dough that’s buttered and topped with the extra sweetness of your choice. My favourite is cinnamon-sugar-lemon, but you can get jams and syrups of all types. The best thing is walking up the canal (once it’s frozen!), and stopping to get a beavertail and hot chocolate to warm up
~
you’ve just made me home-sick
Is it similar to a bear claw? They don’t have bear claws down here, just really crappy doughnuts. Although, there is a Krispy Kreme that reminds me of home. But man it’s expensive.. something like $15 for a dozen.
it’s almost that expensive here at “home” too.
Like an elephant ear! Yummy goodness that will clog your arteries, give you a diabetic attack and cellulite, and make you feel warm and fuzzy inside!
The Killaloe Sunrise one is my fave too. Now that’s some good eatin’ folks.
That makes me want a beaver….irr, I mean a piece of tail….that still doesn’t sound right….in my mouth right now.
I love how 95% of the Canadian military budget goes towards fashion.
Well.. They don’t have much else to do with their budget.. I mean when was the last time Canada was invaded? Or invaded someone? Makes you think.
You do realize Canada is fighting in Afghanistan, right?
If it’s not happening in their backyard, they are totally oblivious to other shit going on in the world.
Holy shit! I forgot I have a backyard. *walks to backdoor and looks out* It’s beautiful.
and if they’re not oblivious to it, then they’re usually making the situation worse…
You’ve just described my Canadian brother-in-law to a follicle.
Get out of my head, man!
You have a Canadian brother-in-law?! I have a Canadian sister-in-law!
And there both pinko Commies! *sarcasm.
“they’re”…sigh. Hit me grammar cops, I deserve it.
*sighs and pulls on leather gloves*
*THWACK*
Better?
Yes.
My BIL is too lazy to be a good Commie.
Dare I ask what she’s like?
Everything in Canada is way better than anything could possibly be in America and she’s just biding her time until she can drag my brother and their kids up there on a permanent basis.
Yep… Afghanistan is right next to Canada…. All those maps were made by stupid people…
Translation for the Scottish Bint: THEY WERE REFERRING TO AMERICANS, DEAR… HAVE A NICE CUP OF TEA AND ONE OF YOUR LITTLE PINK PILLS…
(she gets restless at this time of night) I SAD YOU GET RESTLESS, DEAR!…
You say that your name-calling people is just “playing whack-a-mole with fools.” What sort of reaction do you want from calling me a bint?
Ignore the “people” please….
Isn’t it true that Brits are polite to people they hate, and insult their friends? Fester obviously has a crush on you.
That’s just creepy…. Don’t say that….
I’m thinking maybe you have a little crush back… hmmm. Maybe a little ‘daddy’ fetish going on?
Wow…he must want me bad, then…
With Fester, I wouldn’t confuse the desire to torture with lust. Although, they may appear to be the same..
That accounts for 5%. I think TSP must be wrong about 95% because I’ve heard that 50% of budget goes to maple syrup.
The Kraft Dinner and gravy budget is well in excess of 25%.
I hadn’t realized they’d updated their cafeteria technology to Kraft levels.
It’s all that really expensive ketchup – the finest Dijon ketchup!
Mmmmmmmm
You do realise
a.) I was making a funny
b.) I said “invade a country” not “help fight a war against a country”,
right?
You do realize that sarcasm is not often immediately recognisable on the internet, that arrogant Americans can and do say things like that with total seriousness, and that being in a country fighting still constitutes invasion even if the force in question is only assisting a larger one, right?
I hope you are not making the assumption that I am an arrogant American, based solely on the fact that you didn’t understand my joke, are you?
I’m willing to bet if you asked the Afghans in Kandahar a good chunk of them would describe what Canada did as an invasion. At the very least as an occupation.
i believe the last time was was when canada sacked washington DC and burned down the white house. it was such a cake-walk, they gave up on the military thing and moved on to something that requires actual skill: hockey.
(please delete one of the two consecutive “was” in the first sentence above – thx)
Delete the whole thing, because in 1812, those weren’t Canadian troops, they were British troops IN Canada.
We were British in 1812. It was still Canadians.
skis are expensive.
Those are cops, not soldiers. You know, the RCMP?
You’re wasting your time Mike … they are not the most cultural savy bunch.
The answer, my friend,
Is you’re pissing in the wind.
The answer,
you’re pissing in the wind…
Cool link to an Indiana University press release announcing the results of a study indicating that the Mainstream Media is biased- in favor of republicans. About time I have something to back up my claim!
All Media is biased in one way or another
Hmm. You do realize you failed to post the link, right?
He posted it in the alternate past.
And now, to the alternate future…[LINK]…really.
Link added- I don’t know why it didn’t go before, but here it is.
Coolness. Thanks!
Thanks, Mark!
Yeah, but IU’s a total party school, who’d believe them? (I say this because I went to IU)
Wasn’t it only rated as a “party school” when you were there? Hmmm???
No way, I’m a total nerd and a horrible drunk. I can not hold my liquor.
Well, *that’s* always an attractive trait in a young schoolteacher!
I love captions like this. Very funny.
Am I the only one who saw how the pic poster spelled Obama’s name? “Bar ack” Hmm… Or maybe it was just a typo
That’s what’s known as ‘bad kerning.’ Kerning is the process of moving certain letter pairs closer together, like W and A, because otherwise they would look as though there is too much space between them. Most of the letters in the caption are tightly kerned, the r and a are not. The space between them isn’t quite as large as the real spaces in the caption.
Ah, thanks for clearing that up. Like they say… you learn something new everyday!
Just out of curiosity Seth, and don’t take this the wrong way because you know I think you’re Teh Awsum, but is there anything you don’t know?
Yes, for instance, my wife can kick my ass when it comes to art history, literature, cinema, and stage knowledge. I’m frightfully bad at higher math. I can’t speak any foreign languages, at all. I know nothing of sports trivia. Plus, I’m a jack of all trades, knowledge wise. I know enough to sound informed, give a good overview of a subject, and ask interesting questions of experts, but I’m no expert myself, except for some things like computers.
Awww, you’re just being modest. Tell the truth, there is no Seth but instead you’re a government created supercomputer with artificial intelligence and all the world’s knowledge in your databases.
Big Blew?
It’s the original Kryptonian spelling… Bar Ack… or it’s the spelling in the alternate reality… or it could just be the kerning of the damned as has been suggested above…
But wouldn’t Obama have a beard it if was the alternate reality?
Only if he was evil… in the alternate reality.
No, no, no. Goatees denote evilness. Everyone knows that!
Which is why I, the ACSIS of Evil have one.
>_>
<_<
*has goatee with occassional beardness when I get lazy*
Well, you should be okay unless you’re one of a set of twins and/or in an alternate future timeline.
What if I am the evil twin and there is a good version of me somewhere? *makes plans*
What if you’re the good twin, with the evil twin having
a bigger goatee???
*shudders*
I would shave his off and stuff it up his nose after I removed the skin from his thighs with starved flesh eating beetles…
You have to pretend to be him and sleep with his wife/girlfriend first. Duh.
She would just end up in my harem. Plenty of time for sex after I remove him…
Was the mirror Universe Spock ‘evil’? It’s a long time since I saw that ep…
I need to get those and watch them all in order. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that episode.
Uh, isn’t it space-time? Not time-space? I’m not sure….
Depends on where you’re standing…
Can you explain the difference?
I think it’s to do with the number of dimensions we can access. We have more space like than time like access… at least at the moment…
Gawd, why is everyone being such a douche?
Cleanliness is next to godliness?
A minge by any other name would smell as sweet…
We’re all, collectively, being a single douche?
We always get more done when we work together, I always say.
I brought carbonated water. That should get the party started!
I’ve got the refreshing fragrance!
*discreetly sniffs under arms*
Ok, after I shower, I’ll bring the refreshing fragrance….
The chips are covered as well..
Because you touch yourself. Stop it.
Well, some of the really dumb comments made on this indicates just how little penetration Science Fiction as a narrative form has had on the American mindset…
I’ve always been more of a fan of Fantasy than SciFi, to be honest. My dad is way into SciFi but outside of a couple of short stories and the first two books in the Ender series I can’t say I’ve read much of it.
I’ve always enjoyed Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. I also have to say I enjoyed Dune, but haven’t read much Sci-Fi/Fantasy for the last few years.
Niven and Pournelle… I’ve read “The mote in God’s eye” and liked it (apart from the human characters) but I was unimpressed by a couple of others. (Footfall etc.) My parents say that Ringworld is the best but I can’t find it… Is it worth looking for?
‘Ringworld’ is great, it was my first foray into Sci-Fi. You might try your local library, that’s where I found it here when I wanted to reread it. Another one is ‘Lucifer’s Hammer’. That one was by Niven/Pournelle about a comet that strikes earth. I also liked ‘The Mote in God’s Eye’, but I didn’t care for the sequel.
-
If you like techie stuff, James P. Hogan is pretty good. Some of my favourites are ‘Thrice Upon a Time’, ‘Two Faces of Tomorrow’, ‘Cradle of Saturn’, and ‘The Genesis Machine’, just to name a few.
There was a sequel? Thanks for the recommendations…. Most of the good sci-fi is in the library reserves. (They only seem to want Star Trek books on the shelf.
)
If you can’t find Ringworld and the three sequels, I know that Amazon has them. I haven’t read the last one, but supposedly it ties up loose ends in the first three.
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I believe the sequel to ‘The Mote in God’s Eye’ was called ‘The Gripping Hand’.
According to legend, Niven gave a talk at MIT before he wrote The Ringworld Engineers and was greeted by a group of students chanting “The Ringworld is unstable!” From the Q&A session afterward came the idea for the attitude jets and controlled solar flares.
I don’t read fiction. With three exceptions, I haven’t read any since I was a kid.
A fellow geek with whom I worked about 20 years ago was shocked that I wasn’t into Sci-fi, so he lent me three books in the following order.
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Ringworld – I enjoyed it. It held my interest. A Dyson Sphere is such a cool concept to begin with.
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Ringworld Engineers – Eh. I don’t remember even getting through it. Maybe I did, but I seem to remember it was pretty boring.
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Stranger in a Strange Land – Not your typical sci-fi. I remember really liking this book, yet it still didn’t send me clamoring for more. I finally groked all the fuss, but still preferred reality over fiction.
My dad is a huge Heinlen (sp?) fan, he’s read all of those and liked them. Like I said further down on the thread, I lean towards Fantasy and in particular Children’s lit.
I remember reading a series waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back called the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.
Grrrrrrrr!
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Anyway, it’s worth reading as well if you like Fantasy.
The first Thomas Covenant was one of the first – possibly the first – I ever sent fling-thunk against the wall. I bet you can guess at what point in the book it was, too.
The Time you thought ‘Covenant! you need a solid punch between the eyes!!!’
Oh, no doubt. I didn’t want to be the first to say it, but BLECH! [LINK] Thomas Covenant, what a Mary Sue.
I’m more in favour of that fine British approach described in technical terms as “lop their goolies off.”
Geez, maybe I should go back and reread it. Afterall, it has been like 15 bazillion years since I did the 1st time.
Oh, try Oath of Fealty.. that one wasn’t too bad either.
I just say I like speculative fiction. That covers both. I usually prefer more
science-y stories, but I do like good, imaginative fantasy. Like the Discworld series, China Mieville’s books, ‘Little, Big’ by John Crowley, anything by Neil Gaiman, L. Sprague de Camp, Fritz Leiber, Michael Moorcock, ‘The Hobbit’ but NOT ‘LotR’ (it’s not fantasy, it’s a travel diary!), anything by Zelazny, LeGuin’s ‘Earthsea’ series, Jack Vance, Michael Shea, um, I’m forgetting a bunch but you get the idea.
*delurks*
I know this is hours late, but I have to say it. LOTR is not a travel diary. Shame on you! It is a wonderful masterwork full of imagery. I get something new out of it every time I read it. It’s ok if you don’t like it, but calling it a travel diary is demeaning of a truly epic piece of literature that people have been known to devote entire University courses to.
*relurks*
LOTR didn’t do it for me. Hours of descriptive scenery, then things started to get interesting–and he would switch threads. Pretty much through the whole series until the last few chapters.
Plus the whole…um, are there females in this universe? thing. He wasn’t really demeaning to females. More that they really didn’t exist at all, even to perpetuate the species. Just a few tokens to try and cover the lack.
The Hobbit? Loved it. LOTR? I don’t ever plan to go back there.
I sort of agree with you about the whole hardly any females thing. Except the fact that Eowyn kills the King of the Nazgul with just a little help from Merry nearly makes up for it. The lengthy descriptions all seem to fit within the narrative, unlike say, Victor Hugo’s descriptions of buildings that have nothing to do with the story in Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I don’t even care about the lack of female characters and that’s not because I’m insensitive to women’s issues regarding speculative fiction. To appreciate it in the first place you (well, I, anyway) have to look at it as a product of its a
time. As when reading any of the older classics in speculative fiction.
For its time, it’s a virtual cornucopia of positive female roles. And Tolkien deliberately invokes a certain classic style of European mythic cycle, it’s an artistic choice. Well, in his case, more like an obsession with world-building. I can dig it. At least it isn’t like trying to wade through Joyce. Ugh.
*lurks behind the ‘add comment’ button in wait for the Joyce fans*
I’m a total pre-Joycean.
Apropos, you should hie thee hence to the booksellers at once and buy everything they have by Emma Bull. And whatever money you have left over you ought to spend on Steven Brust.
Will do. Always nice to get recommendations from other fans of the genre. I’ve too often been disappointed trying out authors I don’t know, which is why I tend to stick to the ones I like.
Wait, is this an author I’m not familiar with or did James Joyce somehow end up in a discussion of fantasy and sci-fi authors?
(If so, I like his short stories, but have to admit that Ulysses holds the record for Book I’ve Started the Most Times Without Finishing, so the “wade through would definitely apply.)
I think it was strictly a comparison of difficulty getting through each author’s prose – a bit tedious in some parts of Prof. Tolkien’s obsessive world-building tour de force *cough*Silmarillion*cough*, but well nigh impenetrable in Joyce’s case. There is something that can almost be called a school of thought among certain writers of modern spec-fic in particular that it is one of the terrible failings of modern literature that Literary Merit has been to a significant extent divorced from Good Storytelling. These “Pre-Joyceans” don’t exactly blame james Joyce for this, but certainly decry his role in it, and have dedicated themselves to producing Literature that has Merit while still telling a Rollicking Good Yarn.
[LINK]
I blame Joyce for ‘”Repent, Harlequin!” Said the Tick-Tock Man!”… along with beat- Zen in general, and Kerouac specifically…
James Joyce. Difficulty wading through+mythic structure.
Ok, then! It made sense, I just wasn’t sure as everyone had been talking about other types of authors. And, yes, like wading through mud.
Just as an off the cuff comment… Under Milk Wood had quite the ’saga’ edge to it…
I’ve only read Dubliners, but that seemed very readable. (I suppose they were short stories tho)
I’m in agreement with you, AC. Not being a Lit major or anything I can’t say exactly what the difference is, but I know Dubliners predates the novels. The short stories are a lot more accessible from my point of view.
Emma Bull: War for the Oaks
Kay Kenyon: Maximum Ice
C.S. Friedman: In Conquest Born
and for a bit of fantasy
Judith Tarr: the Hound and the Falcon
Robin McKinley: Sunshine
Have fun Seth!
Awesome! I’ll head down to the library tomorrow.
Except the fact that Eowyn kills the King of the Nazgul with just a little help from Merry nearly makes up for it.
Ah, ha, ha. In the notoriously bad first Swedish translation*, the perpetrator (I mean the guy who translated it) managed to change that, so that Me
rry kills the nazgul.
*)There’s a whole wiki page on the English wikipedia about his translation.
Interesting story & wiki page. Reminds me of what I have heard of the only available translation of Simone de Beauvior’s ‘The second sex’. Apparently, that is a dreadful translation, full of miss-interpretations, and some folks who read French claim that the mistakes are intentional. That might be true, since I found the ‘as is’ English version pretty radical for something written in the 1950’s. Some also claim that Knopf’s refusal to allow a new translation is a political inaction. Interesting thought…
I forgot to say: Expecting male writers of the 30’s and 40’s to have any inkling of women’s lib is a futile exercise. For the most part, men just didn’t think of women the same way they do today. I’m as glad as any other woman that we have equal rights and nearly equal opportunities now, but I also accept that you can’t change the past. The lack of women doesn’t change the fact that LOtR is a complex, beautiful piece of literature.
I’m with you and Seth, I really liked the Hobbit when I read it and was only so so on LotR. Conceptually I think what Tolkein did was very interesting. I know that he’s pretty much credited with starting the whole sword and sorcery genre and I agree up to a point. My personal, albeit biased, opinion is that L. Frank Baum did the whole create your own world fantasy epic thing 40 years before with the Wizard of Oz series, but since that’s been traditionally defined as Children’s Lit I’ll give Tolkein the credit and say that modern Fantasy writers owe a lot to him. That being said, Tolkein owes a lot to Old English and Norse myths and legends and his writing style, IMO, leaves a lot to be desired. Aside from all the poems and songs (dear god, the poems and songs, they never stop!) the main problem I have is a lack of continuity. One minute we’re waxing eloquent about Tom Bombadil (which serves NO purpose) and the next we’re racing ahead and the reader is left going, “Wha… how’d we get here?!” All in all, you can tell Tolkein was a somewhat dry professor and was writing this in installments. In my opinion, after the Hobbit, a REALLY interesting Tolkein book to read is the Father Christmas Letters, also written to his children. Very funny and sweet.
Oh yeah, children’s lit. Like that’s a put down. ‘A Wrinkle in Time’ is children’s lit too. Oz is a HUGE series, and it explores a number of interesting concepts. And I must say, you critique Tolkien like one who loves him as much as I do.
Well, I don’t think children’s lit is a put down, but then that’s sort of my forte, as it were. I love that you mentioned a Wrinkle in Time, I adore that series. The Tolkein/Baum debate is something my dad and I have been having for years. He’s a gigantic LotR fan, but then he read it when it was big in the 60’s and credits it for igniting his love for reading. Because of that LotR has been a big part of my childhood, and I try to give it what credit it deserves without fawning all over it, since my personal opinion is that it’s very dry prose most of the time.
I don’t have much time to write sensible comments atm, so I go for the brief, crappy stuff, like:
Pssst, it’s TolkIEn. Not TolkEIn. I wouldn’t have mentioned it, but you’ve mistyped so many times now, I fear someone who’s a fanatic Tolkien-follower will start haunting you with an army of hobbits. :/
I thought it looked wrong, but since I made it clear I wasn’t a fan I didn’t think it was all that important. Or at least, not important enough for me to google it and find the correct spelling anyway.
Quite fair enough.
(I pronounce his name a bit Swedified, making it something like “Toll – kee – enn”, so the misspelling made it sound totally wrong in my head. The English pronunciation is a bit less obvious, iirc.)
Anyway. I’ve gotta stop trying to find excuses to take breaks from work now. ;p
Yeah, that makes a difference. My dad always pronounces it the way I wrote it, and since he’s the fan not me, I did it phonetically. I’m a crap speller anyway. I like to say it’s because I’m such a good reader I don’t notice the individual letters but see the word as a whole.
I should add, and I thought I had put this in both of my posts and when I reread them I realized I wasn’t being very clear, that although I would credit L. Frank Baum as the Father of Modern Fantasy, children’s literature tends to be dismissed by most people, I not being one of them.
As a fellow children’s lit fan, I have to ask if you’ve
read Tamora Pierce?
Actually, no. I know who she is and while I’ve read quite a bit of modern children’s lit, I have a huge collection of older stuff. Things like the previously mentioned Wizard of Oz series, Louisa May Alcott and Frances Hodgeson Burnett, as well as things like a Wrinkle in Time, Dark is Rising Sequence, and so on.
I reccomend checking her out, then. In
terms of older authors, I’d add L.M.
Montgomery, Laura Ingalls Wilder, George
MacDonald, and Annie Fellows Johnston (who
you have to read with a grain of turn of the
century salt) to your list.
Tee hee hee! I found one! I keed, I keed, it is a masterpiece. For a travel diary. Omigawd, now I can’t stop! Seriously though I’ve read it like six times straight through. The first time when I was ten. I like to travel, what can I say?
I think I’ve managed six times in Swedish and five times in English. ;p
I don’t love it, but it’s a good way to spend some time.
Great Scott!!!
Most of my home library is SF. Asimov, Heinlein, Bradbury, Clarke, Niven, Pournelle, Forward, etc.
I’m especially fond of Alternate History. Turtledove and Flint primarily.
I’m also not ashamed to say I own one copy of nearly every Star Trek novel ever written. Even the crappy ones like “Triangle.”
I’m gonna marry the woman who’s impressed by that.
I’ve one room with science fiction/fantasy/space opera, one with mysteries, one with ro-mance, and then the academic books downstairs. What is the R value of full bookcases, these days?
Ever read any Ken Macleod? Recent author, Scottish I think. Libertarian capitalist, presents the ‘right wing’ libertarian or anarchist utopia with as much flair as Le Guin’s social anarchist utopia. You can guess who’s, ah, leanings I prefer but a good sci fi book on anarchism is a good sci fi book on anarchism. The Federation of the Star Trek universe is a post scarcity social anarchist utopia, of course. Just sayin’.
I’m already married, darling
He kept his emotions to himself as he past these redguards of odd salutes and dashing hats. Barack’s eyes kept them within his view as well as the odd smiles and waving of what was supposed to be his constituency. What was going on? What had been in that drink the bartender had called Spillt Milk? Last he checked, he was fighting a deficit and now he was in Canada being saluted as their leader.
He was led to a limo and thought for a moment while his driver eyed him with a bit of concern. “Sir? You alright? We should get going, you’re wife is waiting.”
The still contemplative and confused leader’s attention snapped into focus at this. “Of course, Michelle and the kids will help me figure this out.”
“Sir?”
“Nothing, take me to my family. I need some time to think.”
“Not a problem sir. Congratulations on the election. We really needed to get Hillary and George out of office.”
His eyes grew like saucers… “What?”
“The previous administration sir. They caused so much trouble and Michelle and Mr. Norris were just a bad idea for the Republican ticket. You had it from day one, if you don’t mind me saying so.”
He could only sit in almost total horror trying to take all of this in but luckily, a good politician knows to keep those current deep beneath the calm waves of their outward appearance, so he nodded. Finally he managed to clear his throat and say something so the driver wouldn’t think him rude. “An honor, thank you.” It was always best to keep more friends than enemies among the public, especially while he needed to at least see what else had changed.
Finally they arrived at a steak house and he calmed a bit, hoping that food would clear his head or wake him from this dream.
“Table for Obama? I should have a reservation.”
“Of course sir, right this way.” The little blonde girl was a bit wide eyed but definitely courteous as she led the way to his seat and his wife… Staring back at him with a million dollar smile that froze his blood was an all too familiar brunette.
“Heya darling, they have our favorite here, Moose!”
eeek. I just lost my appetite AND got a cold chill.
And that was just from my ineptitude as a writer, let alone the plot ideas…
Nope. It was from the concept of imagining I had a hot smart woman like Michelle as a wife, and suddenly finding her swapped permanently with Ms. ‘Heya’! Eegh!
Woot, I wrote something mildly adequate yet horrifying.
The narrative held my interest and I’m picky…
Had an edge of King’s The Reploids (link with spoilers, behind name)
I purposely made Chuck Norris as the running mate to annoy people. Surprised one of his followers didn’t roundhouse kick me for it.
Very glad it could entertain you.
I enjoyed the link too, thanks.
very nice dwn… wish i had read this earlier in the day, i could’ve used a good laugh…
Awww, well if I had possessed a way to message you while I am at work, I would have.
I like.
I like to think I can chill the blood from time to time. Glad you enjoyed.
Awesome.
Fcuking awesome.
Thanks!
You are most certainly welcome.
Does it have anything to do with the fact that the officer in the back looks like Winston Churchill?
I’m thinking that a timeline where Obama is the head of the government and we also have Mounties can’t be as “terrible” as all that.
It puts me in mind of that joke about Heaven, where they have English policemen, French chefs and Swiss managers….
That’s just damned hilarious…
Those are nice mountme hats.
I always read your amazing website every week, its great fun and got lots of interesting information to take in and lots of interesting articles.
Obama rlzzz