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Allright, America, quit your bitching.


Barack Obama

Allright, America, quit your bitching. I am trying to fix this shit, just calm down and hand me the duct tape.

(Barack Obama)

picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: evanessance23

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» 458 comments

  1. Chigou says:

    Why need duct tape when you obviously has control of the Force ?

  2. fudge says:

    Spelling FAIL
    “Allright” -> “Alright”

    • rhorho says:

      Yes, and there’s a comma splice, to boot. Who cares? At least it’s a real LOL!

    • Aedriel says:

      Grammar nazi moment: It’s debatable if “alright” is even a word. It’s working its way into legality, but last I heard it was still technically incorrect and should be “all right,” as two words, at least formally.

      • rhorho says:

        Words evolve in living languages. Being a grammarian in a linguistic world is an exercise in futility, at best. Once upon a time, “some” and “thing” were incorrect to compound, but usage prevailed over time, as it usually does.

        I fight with my inner grammarian on a daily basis. Common sense usually prevails, but peace comes in the fact that I won’t live to see “your” as an acceptable replacement for “you’re.” Whew!

        • IvanTheMildlyAnnoying says:

          I was taught that there is no “alright” as there is no “alwrong”.

        • Aedriel says:

          I know – like I said, it’s still working its way into legality. But if someone’s going to be a nazi…

          I just hope “everyday” doesn’t turn into a suitable replacement for “every day” – those mean two distinctly different things!

          • rhorho says:

            Yes, and rumor has it that “disinterested” and “uninterested” will
            eventually become interchangeable, both meaning “uninterested.”

            In weaker moments, my eye twitches at split infinitives, but let’s not
            attempt to boldly go where no grammarian has gone before, okay?

            ;-)

      • dick says:

        Spelling and grammar rules often change out of common ignorance and misuse, so it’s funny that fudge corrected the caption maker’s misspelling with a word that’s still in the stage of being forced into common usage by the undereducated.

        • bexicoch says:

          Either way, it’s still misspelled — it should be “alright” or “all right.”
          This is “allright” which, of course, is “allwrong.”

    • carolinaWildcat says:

      Nope- it’s Aiight:P

  3. Kelly says:

    yes, i agree. conservatives need to quit their bitching…

  4. jaemsc says:

    there was a couple funnier captions… but alll this bitching about him winning… get the F over it….

  5. Wesley says:

    That’s just about what he really says in his press conferences.

    Is this the replacement slogan for “hope” and “change”?

  6. Yoo says:

    YOU’RE DOING A HORRIBLE JOB SO FAR!! GO BACK TO CHICAGO LAND MR. BAMA!

  7. Foo says:

    The first place that duct tape needs to go is over President Affirmative Action’s mouth. Hands off, shut up, let the adults handle this one, okay?

    • Uncle Fester says:

      There speaks a bitter, bitter white guy…

    • Forge says:

      Cry me a river of your sweet sweet Conservative tears.

      • ElbieSee says:

        *offers Forge a glass to catch the tears*

        They’re great with a twist of fresh lime.

        • Jane St.Clair says:

          I enjoy mine with a little salt around the rim. Also with the blood of Aborted Babies.

          • LOL says:

            Wow. Thtat’s really fu!king sick. Do you bite the heads off bunnies, too?

            • rhorho says:

              Hi Fake LOL. You misspelled “sock,” there. It has an “o.”

              • LOL says:

                What am I faking? If this poster had actually seen, smelled and held the broken remnant of what used to be a human being, she (and anyone else) wouldn’t joke about drinking its blood. It smells horrific and looks worse, and disposing of it is no picnic.
                Whatever your politics, it’s really insulting to joke about.

                • rhorho says:

                  There is already a poster called “LOL” here. That “LOL” was
                  hijacked this past week, so it’s easy to see how one would
                  think “LOL” was being hijacked again. Jane’s joke was not
                  for the sensitive, I agree.

                  • NOT LOL says:

                    Better?
                    I’d like to have just one person who jokes about drinking foetal blood have a go at the nasty bloodshake of detritus that’s left behind following removal.
                    If one could make it past the initial gag reflex from the odour, once it was in one’s mouth one would vomit until one’s toenails flew from one’s mouth.
                    Not amusing in the least; this statement is really not a joke, and its necessity for shock value in this instance is nil.

                    • rhorho says:

                      Yes, better.

                      As for the rest, this is a LOL site, and not everyone
                      shares the same sensitivities, or the same sense
                      of humor. Not every comment is going to hit it out
                      of the park with everyone. Just ignore her
                      comment and have fun, okay?

                      • eddiepscetti says:

                        Not only that, but to know Jane is to know she uses sarcasm quite often.

                        • NOT LOL says:

                          Fair enough, I suppose, excusing one’s rude public behaviour with “oh, it’s just sarcasm, she’s allowed.”
                          I still maintain one would never joke about it again if one actually had a big gulp of what it actually is they are joking about.

                        • Aedriel says:

                          So, you’ve tried it? Ewww!

                        • rhorho says:

                          IMO*, her reference was more of a political
                          statement. You must admit that few, if any
                          others here, share your knowledge, yes?

                          (*I’ve read a lot of Jane’s posts, so I feel
                          comfortable in guessing her meaning.)

                          You will certainly be able to discuss your
                          knowledge in a serious discussion here, if you
                          stick around. I’m just saying that this isn’t the
                          time, though I understand that my opinion is
                          worth what you paid me for it…
                          ;-)

                        • rhorho says:

                          Sorry Aed, above was at NOT.

                        • NOT LOL says:

                          Nay, never quaffed (and as I said the suggestion nauseates me no end), but I have had it splattered on my face and spilled on my person. Not pleasant, and if one gets “used” to it one would be a tougher bird than I.
                          And it’s not amusing or even remotely effective as a political statement, either, IMO. What is political about drinking the blood of a dead innocent? I thought our species had evolved past the days of threatening to (and/or actually) drink the blood of the vanquished.
                          “I drink the blood of aborted babies” just sounds ridiculous, and doesn’t help one’s argument, ever. It’s designed to shock and offend, and is usually used as a last resort to bolster a faltering argument. I can’t figure out why it was used here, other than to make the poster appear, well … hmm. I really am mystified why that was necessary.
                          But I do appreciate your opinions.

                        • froofrou says:

                          Geez, you really have no idea what sarcasm is, do you? Jane was making a joke based on the right-wing fundie view of liberals.
                          -
                          A sense of humor. Get one.

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          Awesome, nice to know three weeks absence hasn’t taken away my abilty to offend. I was afraid I’d lost my touch. You have it in one froo, but then you know me so well. ;)

                        • NOT LOL says:

                          I am very aware of what sarcasm is used for; there’s no need to suggest I need a sense of humour when the poster herself just revealed that the intent was to offend, and not to amuse.
                          Your sense of humour allows you to find this amusing; mine does not.
                          My point is that I find it a shame that those who make such offhand comments under the guise of political ideology don’t know what they are really saying.
                          I don’t espouse any particular political ideology regarding this topic (for me to do so would be hypocritical), I am merely pointing out the veracity behind such a statement.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          “I drink the blood of aborted babies”
                          But I do… from a cup made from the skull of a virgin…

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          I’m sorry, but my care-o-meter is hovering at about 0.5 today, you’ll have to come back and freak out on me another day.

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          *covets Unc’s skull* That’s awfully nice mister, where’d you get it?

                        • NOT LOL says:

                          Now that’s not surprising. Do you also monopolise the anuses of the choir boys you keep in your basement for fattening prior to their ritual murders in order to acquire said drinking vessel?

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          Someone’s been spying on your private parties, Unc. I told you some blinds would help with that.

                        • NOT LOL says:

                          I am not freaking out. I simply made a statement regarding your comment.
                          Freaking out would be threatening you or having a temper tantrum.
                          I’ve done neither; I’ve simply pointed out how revolting your statement is in actuality. Somehow I can’t visualise you (or anyone) actually doing such a thing, and I don’t even have the first clue who you are.
                          And as far as libs/cons are concerned, the whole world, fortunately, isn’t constrained to such a vastly divergent ideological spectrum, so we don’t all know just how at odds Americans are regarding all things political.
                          I probably should have recognised it for what it apparently was when you used the term “babies” rather than the correct “foetuses.”

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          Oh, I’m sorry, my care-o-meter just went down to 0.2, but feel free to continue freaking out, you may raise it to 1.0 for entertainment value alone.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          That’s awfully nice mister, where’d you get it?

                          You can get things like that from the Tibetans in exile :)

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          I’ve simply pointed out how revolting your statement is in actuality.

                          You say ‘revolting’ like it’s something bad…

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          I knew Tibetans had to be good for something! As to you “revolting” comment, surely you know that all humor must be completely inoffensive to all people at all times.

                        • NOT LOL says:

                          It’s really a shame the way many here tend to drive those with differing opinions away with such dismissive attitudes, name calling, and by denigrating their opinions rather than addressing said opinions.
                          x
                          FWIW, I do find that statment fu!king repulsive, whether in jest or not.
                          x
                          ‘Tis certain you all enjoy one another’s company, so I leave you to it.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Shame you’re leaving an ass mark on the door.
                          You may enjoy my assessment of American history…

                        • rhorho says:

                          K, Bye.

                        • NOT LOL says:

                          Aye. I can’t help but saying that’s much funnier than the one posted above.
                          Thanks for that.

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          “Wow. Thtat’s really fu!king sick. Do you bite the heads off bunnies, too?”
                          -
                          I’m glad SOMEONE here is above name calling.

                        • Since NOT LOL has taken his/her sanctimonious self off, I’ll explain for anyone interested what prompted my original comment that spawned all of this. When I woke up this morning I found this [LINK] in the opinion section of my local paper. The comment asserting Obama, and by extension all liberals, supports “unrestricted abortion on demand” is the sort of backwards thinking that is very prevelent in the county I live in. It is frustrating to say the least. So that article combined with not serious comment ElbieSee made about drinking the tears of conservatives led to my statement, which was apparently more inflammatory than I gave it credit for being when I typed it. I’m certainly not apologizing, I still think it was funny, even if I DID type it before I’d had my first cup of tea.

                        • bexicoch says:

                          Well, speaking as a bystander, it is kind of inflammatory (and a little bit ewwwy) especially out of context, not that anyone here is unable to defend their statements.
                          FWIW, I (and most, you know, RATIONAL, people) don’t think all liberals are out to pin people down and give then abortions … ;)
                          Just an observation.

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          Nice to know, you wouldn’t know it by most of my neighbors, who seem to think liberals want abortions served at McDonalds.
                          “I’ll have the double cheesburger with side of third trimester abortion please.”

                        • bexicoch says:

                          Okay, now that’s REALLY eewwwwy!
                          *brainbleach and vodka poultice applied*

                          I may be small town, but I damn sure ain’t small minded, and neither are those with whom I surround myself. Sorry you are dealing with the zealots.

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          In addition to that, I have brothers and grew up on military posts (my dad retired as a Lt. Colonal) so my Ewwwww factor is absurdly high.

                        • IowaSucks says:

                          i honestly don’t know which is more outrageous;
                          .
                          those who make and spread the lies that obama wants up to 6th trimester abortions (yes, you read that right) or
                          .
                          those so friggin stupid they believe and spread any bs fed to them by their party, their church, or their appointed guru without stopping to question it.

                        • bexicoch says:

                          Yeah, we slaughter our own chickens, beef and emu, and I ran a daycare for several years, but the prospect of even considering consuming anything aborted makes my gag reflex trigger, probably because I’ve had to help pull dead calves from their mothers. Now that, my friend, is NASTY!
                          *tries not to reminisce too much*

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          I’d lay off eggs then… people get pissy
                          when you point out they’re just chicken
                          menses

                        • bexicoch says:

                          LOL!
                          I know! Butchering chickens is amazing, because you get to see the eggs in every developmental stage (as well as the proverbial running about sans head). It’s fascinating, really.
                          And I don’t eat eggs for that very reason — chicken ova, blech.
                          It grosses me out. I know it makes me a wuss, but such is life.

                        • bexicoch says:

                          I should stipulate, I prepare eggs for others, and will eat them in baked goods, but sunny side eggs and a side of rasher yucks me out! It’s like a grotesque smiley face begging to be consumed …
                          I go with the cheese grits and/or mush, thank you vey much!

                        • bexicoch says:

                          Aedriel,
                          I just clicked your link.
                          *splort*
                          EEEWWWWtastic.
                          *not enough brainbleach in this or any universe*

                        • Aedriel says:

                          Sorry… *changes it to something possibly less offensive*

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          Mmmmmmmm, sweet sweet mensus in the morning. Time to fire up the stove, I’m making omlets!

                        • bexicoch says:

                          *vomits self inside out*
                          *dies*

                        • I miss the dead babies jokes we used to tell in college. And somehow I only became more jaded…

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          The other day my sister made some eggs…
                          So we cooked them and an ate them…
                          (I Love Emo Philips)

                        • rhorho says:

                          “How many people here have telekenetic
                          powers? Raise my hand.”

                        • brxicoch says:

                          Dead baby jokes = yes.
                          Eating bloody egg albumin = *epictastical hurl*

                        • Well, I remember two jokes my friend the 4.0 clean cut guy Ron told me and I will relate one of them.

                          Q: How do you get a thousand dead babies into a car.
                          A: Blender
                          Q: How do you get them out?
                          A: Straw

                        • bexicoch0906 says:

                          Awesome!
                          Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
                          A: It was chained to a bumper
                          -
                          and my coup d’etat (and I AM going to puke now)
                          -
                          Q: What is red and creeps up your leg?
                          A: A homesick abortion.

                        • ACSIS says:

                          Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
                          A: It was chained to a bumper

                          I thought it was stapled to the chicken.

                        • Fine, fine… I will tell the other one.

                          Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a cheeseburger?
                          A: I don’t have sex with a cheeseburger before I eat it…

                          I can’t remember the other ones I heard from 4.0 but he was an odd one for looking so damn normal…

                        • bexicoch0906 says:

                          *NOES*
                          *DIES*

                        • Wownik says:

                          Yes you do, that one was great. Kept
                          me laughin for a good few mins XD.

            • Jane St.Clair says:

              Yes.

              • NOT LOL says:

                I assumed as much.

                • Jane St.Clair says:

                  Glad we’re on the same page. I drown puppies too, in case you were wondering.

                  • IowaSucks says:

                    i prefer feeding them to rats. better entertainment value.

                    • Jane St.Clair says:

                      *contemplates* Hmmmmm, your idea has merit. I will take this under advisement for the next meeting.

                      • NOT LOL says:

                        Whatever you do to puppies can’t compare to what the American soldiers were videotaped doing. Were you their commanding officer, perchance?

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          Sadly, no. As a left-wing nut ™ who wants to force abortions on the unsuspecting populace, I don’t support the troops in anyway shape or form. I, in fact, make many jokes at there expense because it’s their fault for joining in the first place.

                        • IowaSucks says:

                          you mean you don’t support them when they’re forcing abortions on those dirty a-rabs as part of a satanic ritual meant to increase obama’s anti-christual powers?
                          .
                          i’m shocked at your lack of patriotism!

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          I’m a liberal, while I agree with the forced abortions, the lack of patriotism is par for the course. I am greatly embarassed about using the wrong “there” up above, however. Drinking the blood of innocents is one thing, but incorrect grammar is completely beyond the pale.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          People do nasty things in war. Some people are stupid enough to photograph themselves doing it and send it home to mom for her to enjoy…
                          I think you’ll find the Americans have no monopoly on nasty crap, just more of it in the 20th Century than most. I think that’s down to the fact that in the 18th C they were slotting Brits, in the 19th C they were slotting each other (and starving them in camps) when not killing the aboriginals and writing worthless bits of paper giving people their own damned land…

                          Basically, the 20th C is the first time they’ve had to take it out to the international stage… their hand in the partition of the Ottoman Empire and the screw up that became over oily sand, the whole re-enactment of the American Land Grab from the amerind replayed in Israel, attempts at Empire in Korea, Vietnam etc… the long Great Game in Afghanistan against the Russian, when all the sane players had left the Afghan waste to Russians. Finally the current adventure in the Middle East, that’s left the place Hell on earth and likely to result in a Wahabist-Islamic hegemony. I think my personal favourite memory is the amount of money it cost to get them into WWII… I don’t see I should be grateful they came in… they were paid.

                        • IowaSucks says:

                          :oops:
                          now i’m the one who’s embarrased. i of course meant
                          atheist/communist/socialist/islamic/stanic (we’ve got to
                          get a shorter name) patriotism.
                          i’m sorry for the confusion…

                          hey, if we abbreviate, it would be acsis. we can the the acsis of evil!

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          Well said Fester, war is never pretty. What is necessary to subvert humanity’s survival instinct and psych large groups of people up to kill other large groups of people often lead to actions that are reprehensible, sadly.

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Being British, I learned that one early…

                        • @ Iowasucks: “stanic”? You mean there’s actually a cult that worships Stan Lee? Hail Stan! ;-)

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Yuo mean there are people who don’t worship Stan?

                        • bexicoch says:

                          Yeah, lots of ‘em worship Cartman.

                        • Respect mah authoritay!!

                        • IowaSucks says:

                          ah, a slip of the finger (shaddup).

                          Respect mah authoritay!!

                          that was funny. i too worship stan!

                        • acsis says:

                          Ok, I actually like ACSIS of Evil, and this IowaSucks is getting
                          old, so I think from now on, I’m going to be know as acsis.

                          - acsis, the stanic formerly know as IowaSucks

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Cartman is a given… but STAN?

                        • bexicoch says:

                          Well, there are those of us who support all things TIMMEH!

                        • ACSIS says:

                          You know, I have Cartman on my refrigerator, you’d think I could
                          actually remember his name is Eric.
                          I stand by my worship of Stan however.
                          .
                          - ACSIS of Evil, the Stanic formerly know as IowaSucks

                        • bexicoch says:

                          Well, at least it’s not that dirty jew KAHL!
                          :lol:

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          TBH, I tend to be an acolyte of Ditko

                        • bexicoch says:

                          Spidey and Dr. Strange > Batman and the Joker?

                        • Uncle Fester says:

                          Tales of Suspense>Spidey and Strange…

                        • bexicoch says:

                          Heard of it, too young to see an actual paper copy. Bet they’re worth a fortune.

                        • rhorho says:

                          If you’re not a perfectionist on condition,
                          they’re still affordable, especially the ones
                          that aren’t “keys.”

          • rhorho says:

            *offers Jane a “McCain/Palin 2008″ cocktail napkin*

            Sorry–I can’t pass up a sale…

  8. maxtyle says:

    I’m getting a deja vu… now that I think of it, I HAVE seen this kind of lol about 20 times here on pundit. sure, people are psyched, but it’s bordering on obsession around here O_O get a move on, tyvm

  9. Randy Rager says:

    Oh please. That cheap Chicago grifter isn’t trying to fix shit.

    He’s the most scandal ridden pResident in recent memory and he’s not even been in office a month. Seven appointees have already either withdrawn nominations or are permanently tainted.

    Let’s not forget that Geithner (yes, THAT appointee!) is a tax cheat.

    Jesus wept.

    • n8 says:

      Interesting that you assume that the zombie carpenter shares your politics, but he was all about -helping- the poor, not shafting them.

    • pcflamingo says:

      @forge – don’t forget the death and destruction caused by GW and “Dick” Cheney and their henchpersons in support of the war they lied us into in Iraq. Well, maybe lied is too strong a word. Maybe we were just misdirected. While we were misunderestimating them.

    • SilentJ says:

      I assume you mean 24/7/52, unless you have a 365-week calendar. ;)
      -
      Totally agree with everything else there, Forge.
      -
      Personally, my opnion is that several of Obama’s nominees resigned for one or more of the following reasons:
      -
      1) The Obama campaign has shown how the Internet continues to push the boundaries of transparency. It’s getting more and more difficult to GET a cabinet position if you have skeletons in your closet. Obama knows that everyone has them, so he defends his appointees ANYWAY, but he does it in the light of day. Some nominees just don’t want to be exposed anyway.
      -
      2) This administration is taking the helm at a really nasty time for our country. It takes some serious *ahem* gumption to WANT a job in an administration that will either be lauded for it’s Great Solution, or completely villified for Failure to Act. You KNOW it will be all black and white for people until 30 years of history start to show the shades of gray. Not every nominee is prepared for that level of adventure.
      -
      3) I think some of them were talented, but actually have genuine philosophical differences with Obama and his buds. Obama sees the value in having contrary opinions around, but it’s not *always* valuable, and the one who is the “contrary opinion” doesn’t usually like having to fight what he or she sees as uphill battles every single day. That’s a tough job that not everyone wants.
      -
      Of course, my opinion is probably worth what you paid for it. :)

  10. Matrix says:

    too bad he’ll only make it worse

    • n8 says:

      Worse for the Republicans, yes. You guys won’t see office until 2016 at best.

      • Forge says:

        Heh, they’ll be electing Democratic post-office workers before they put another Republican up there…

        • bexicoch says:

          Nothing wrong with post-office workers — practically every president has worked in a government position at one time or another.

          • Forge says:

            True this; I’m just saying they’re gonna have to be pulling Democrats out of the nooks and crannies ‘cuz soon there’s nobody that’s going to elect a Republican. I think the real Conservatives are gonna have to form a new party and screw the obstructionist corrupt crybaby Fundo-fascists permanently.

      • Matrix says:

        I’m not a republican. But yeah, he’ll make it worse because we’ll no longer have a free market or freedom for that matter. Everything you ‘need’ will be supplied by Uncle Sugar. You don’t need rights. Uncle Sugar will take care of you. You don’t need to see a doctor when you want to. Uncle Sugar will decide that for you. You don’t need to work to become successful. Everyone will be peasants, just like you. Of course, those who are closest to the inner circle are the only ones who will be outside of the peasantry… Move along, nothing to see here. Just stay asleep and keep drinking the kool-aid.

        • ACSIS says:

          You should probably stick with Rapture Ready. You’re outclassed and outsmarted up here.

        • rhorho says:

          Are you not a Republican because the party is too liberal for you?

          Geez! Grow a brain already…

          • Jane St.Clair says:

            *whispers* Who’s “Uncle Sugar”? I don’t have my right-wing nutjob talking points up to date.

            • rhorho says:

              It’s hard to translate from troll to English, but I think s/he’s
              diabetic…

              • Jane St.Clair says:

                Does s/he go door to door asking if s/he can talk to you about your sugar intake and handing out copies of Sugar Busters?

                • *killing the joke* Uncle Sugar, as in Sugar Daddy. Pretty much our rich benefactor that treats us like pets and tends to our needs when he says we have them.

                  Least that was my idiot to American English translation.

                  • Jane St.Clair says:

                    That’s okay, it was half an inside joke anyway. On of my coworkers came back from the doctor’s office and was told he was diabetic. He freaked out for about a week and then fully embraced the lifestyle. We joked that he had converted to a new religion because he would preach about the evils of potatoes and corn (which is REALLY ridiculous because I live in Indiana and corn is given here in the summer) and try and pawn sugar free snacks off on us. Scientolagists have “Dianetics”, my coworker had “Diabetics”. When we told him this he was the one that said, “I’d like to talk to you about potatoes, here’s a free copy of Sugar Busters.”

                    • Aha, very delightful. Thanks for the update. :D

                    • bexicoch says:

                      Hey, Jane, I get the joke, and you know I’m not a care troll, but being diagnosed as diabetic is totally not the same: we don’t want to save your soul and procure you a planet, we want to make sure your body stays healthy throughout your life so you don’t end up like us. Plus it makes it easier and we really do feel better when those around us support our cause. My family is genetically prone to Type 1 and 2 (I’m the Type 2 you’d never expect — diagnosed shortly after my 19th birthday and skinny as a rail at the time), and have to insulate myself (that’s our anti-sugar joke) and my daughter regularly from the powers of the simple sugars and the carbs.
                      Just sayin’. :)

            • ACSIS says:

              Aunt Jemima’s husband?

  11. shin0bi272 says:

    If duct tape cant fix it … it’s broke!

  12. Bix Nood says:

    I guess his meaning behind “Hope” and “Change” meant, “Nothing will change, and hope nobody will notice.”

  13. n8 says:

    Great caption, very much on the mark.

  14. Forge says:

    Precisely how so? By not doing it the way it’s been done since 1980?

  15. eddiepscetti says:

    “Sorry, more like he’s fscking it up even worse.” Would you care to elaborate? You can’t just make a blanket statement like that without providing some example of how he’s fscking it up.
    -
    Now that there’s a Democratic president and Congress, let’s just wait see how much he really is able to fix. I’m at least giving him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he hasn’t even been in office for a month, so you surely don’t expect things to change THAT quickly? It took Reagan some time to fix the mess that Carter left. Let’s at least give the same consideration to Obama.

  16. ElbieSee says:

    It took eight years to eff it up in the first place. He hasn’t been in charge for eight weeks.

    And I doubt it can get any worse. Unless you’re rich and have been rolling around in tax cuts for the better part of this decade…

  17. Anniee451 says:

    More like, “Because I CAN, Motherf*$^er!” So much for putting pending legislation up on the website for two or three days so the public can read it and respond – guess that’s once term limits are eliminated. This 1100 pages, not a one of them even read it (except the bits and earmarks they sneaked in) – kinda like the Patriot Act only with a trillion dollars.

    • Forge says:

      Again, they’d have to work for aeons to get anywhere near what the Bush administration spent. There’s an entire school of economics that says you don’t fix a broken economy without spending some money. So we’ll spend some money – again, still only a tiny fraction of what Bush spent killing brown people all over the world – and see what happens. At least some kids might get new school books or heaven forbid, not starve or freeze next winter.

    • Uncle Fester says:

      You’ve never actually stated an alternative solution that wouldn’t result in a financial monopoly, which is one of the two equilibrium points in laissez faire anarcho-capitalist systems…
      I really don’t approve of the bailout, mostly because it’s giving money to people who’ve established they’re too corrupt or inept to be allowed anything sharp, let alone the keys to the kingdom. However, there are no solutions that don’t involve either chaos today and monopoly/cartel tomorrow, or hell down the road aways…
      In the end, the duct tape solution at least promises something like market choice down the line for a while, but is introducing a load of noise in a dynamical (sic) system that sometime, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, will cause the system to run wild in some way that is almost impossible to predict, beyond it will be uncontrollable and violent.

      • Indie Tarheel says:

        Damn, that was refreshingly coherent. I wish you were on some of the other boards I frequent – they could use some (apparently no-so-common sense).

  18. rhorho says:

    I didn’t get that message at all from the LOL. Are you addressing the LOL or
    someone’s comment above?

  19. keshet says:

    Returns for ICHC with the CCC.
    Presses CCC into services as the Economic Crash Cart:

    *sweeps up pieces of the economy*
    *rinses them with sparkling water*
    *packs them carefully back together*
    *wraps duct tape around and around and around*
    *grabs several more rolls of duct tape*
    *snaps on a new CHRG(wdoi)*
    *leads country to the economic/splort recovery ward, wrapped in a floofy blanket and gives hot chocolate and a chocolate treat*

    What?? You mean its not going to be that easy??

  20. foomanchu says:

    Duct tape isn’t going to do it.

    We’re spending money printed from thin air.

    What we need to do is nationalize the Federal Reserve. Not the banks.

  21. Wyde says:

    Economy? But my biggest problem is this irremovable duct tape on my face!

  22. George says:

    In after butthurt wingnuts.

  23. Bubba Hotep says:

    You libs who are so thrilled about this guy realize that with the passage of the ’stimulus package’, the national debt has exceeded the annual GDP of the ENTIRE WORLD…

    • Uncle Fester says:

      I seem to have noticed a lot of ‘Conservatives’ voted for it too…
      But, pray tell, what would be the alternative? Allow the market to collapse into a monopoly or cartel? Long on crit, but really you don’t actually have ANY idea, let alone a bad one, do you?

      *Sigh*
      It’s like some sort of Zombie grindhouse… just when you think it’s all over, another mutant pops up to try and lower the collective IQ…

      • n8 says:

        Well, any time you see the phrase “You libs” you can pretty much replace any text that follows with “WHARRGARBL!” and move on. That is, unless you haven’t gotten the Rush/Hannity set of talking points for the day yet, and are curious to read them.

        • lowly grunt says:

          Well, any time you see the phrase “You libs” you can pretty much replace any text that follows with “WHARRGARBL!” and move on.

          HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
          Thanks, n8! Great lol and useful tool (heh, tool) for the future!

        • Steve says:

          Haha. It would be amusing if I could program my browser to detect the words “You libs” and then replace all following text with “WHARGARBLE” just to save me some time reading. Good tip there n8.

    • SilentJ says:

      And the first ten trillion of that didn’t come from “those libs.” In fact, over five trillion of it came from Bush.
      -
      Time to sit back down.

  24. Demonkissesxox says:

    I honestly don’t see what everyone is so upset about. i found this picture funny and i laughed. why is everyone so upset?

  25. n8 says:

    Fiscal conservatives didn’t like it under Bush, and they don’t like it under Obama. Moderates and liberals were worried about it under Bush because he was a retard and likely to screw it up. Also, with the ‘pubbies in power, any legislation was likely to favor oil-barons and other corporate screw-ups at the expense of average Americans. While this is still very much a concern, we feel a little better having an intellectual at the helm.

    • rhorho says:

      …with big ears, and more likely to use them.

    • foomanchu says:

      Yeah, and we know how useful intellectual elitism has served us in years past. Whew, we’re so better off now.

      • Uncle Fester says:

        Well, good ol’ boy anti-intellectualism has been infinitely worse…

      • Seth says:

        You ever notice how only really, really stupid people use the term ‘intellectual elitism’ in a serious debate? No, I thought not.

      • So you’re saying that the rule of the idiot was better? Let’s see… Intellectual Elitism is how the country was founded, by great, wait for it, Thinkers. The advances that allow you to complain about people smarter than you was brought to you by, you guessed it, those intellectually elite folks. The way you are able to eat and wear clothes at night wasn’t invented by cretins hammering their dicks into the ground. They were developed and perfected by people with sharp minds, maybe not always geniuses but still sharp minds. Those intellectually elite are the reason you aren’t living under a rock, dullard.

        So yes, we suffer when an idiot is at the helm. /troll baiting

  26. wawawawa says:

    BY they Way America, that duct tape is going to cost the ones of you who are working and not super rich with tax loopholes like me around about $787 billion, and it isn’t going to fix anything, but you just remember who won that election, and you know if you don’t support my spending then you are being bi-partisan!

    • Forge says:

      “Super rich like me” people who have the ability to take time out of their day to post idiotic rambling to a LOL board = naked cheerleaders who want to have sex with me all day long while riding rainbow-colored unicorns.

    • $787 billion?

      Wow, way to make up an unrealistic number…

      • Aha, morning fail on me. I know where you got the number however I am curious why you would word it to make people believe you have tax loopholes that equal 787 billion…

        • SilentJ says:

          It also never ceases to amaze me how people think that something that “costs the gov’t 787B” actually means the taxpayers will pay 787B. But that’s not how tax cuts work.
          -
          If you cut taxes, it costs the GOV’T some income, but it leaves the money in OUR hot little hands. So it doesn’t cost US ANYTHING. Quite the opposite.
          -
          That’s simple addition and subtraction, folks. Granted, the *rest* of the bill is more complicated, but the tax cuts were a significant portion of the bill, and tax cuts DO NOT COST TAXPAYERS MONEY. That is the WHOLE POINT of cutting taxes.
          -
          Insert long and boring debate on whether or not the tax cuts will be *effective*, which is a completely different and much more ambiguous topic….
          -
          -
          -
          Here.

          • froofrou says:

            Tax cuts put the money into our ‘hot little hands’, as you so eloquently put it, thereby leaving us money to spend in the economy and drive things like restaurants, gas stations, merchandising, retail, and other places that employ people. Tax cuts are always a good idea……(and there is another verse to that, but I’ll leave it to those better able to argue to sing that other verse :-) )

            • Uncle Fester says:

              Issue is, it’s not the money in our hot little hands that is the
              issue, but in the bulging (on paper) coffers of the banks, who
              stopped extending each other lines of credit, since they
              suddenly realised that they were screwing each other with with
              more abandon than people at a party thrown by Freddie Mercury,
              Gaius Caligula, and Alexandre Borgia combined…

              In the UK we had a parallel ’scandal’ to the ’sub prime’ in the
              ‘Endowment mortgage’ scandal, where people were sold an
              ‘investment’ policy along with the mortgage, with the assurance
              that ‘the market always rises, so based on our projections you’ll
              get the capital you owe us, plus a few grand spenders when the
              policy matures’ Basically, you were sold a mortgage that you
              actually couldn’t afford to clear the capital debt on, but with a
              ’safety net’ that,while the small print told you may not perform
              as predicted, the nice man in the suit told you almost certainly
              would. For the record, I took the offer since it meant I’d get a
              reduced interest rate for the first 4 years, after which I planned
              to swap to a standard repayment mortgage, if the interest only
              option (but I was paying in lump sums to decrease capital)
              continued to leave more money in my pocket. I finally switched
              to repayment (CAT standard) in 01, after a few years of warning
              that the endowment wouldn’t cover anything like the capital I’d
              borrowed (the switch took my mortgage from 15 years
              remaining to 11). In Aug 08 I cashed up my endowment and,
              with paperwork) closed my mortgage October 4th.

              Thing is, if the banks were misselling securities to other banks,
              then one can only imagine what they’d be selling to Joes who
              think they know what they’re doing, but really just get sold a
              pig in a poke by a shyster in a suit who probably sells mobile phone
              contracts now…

  27. Kranix says:

    Ok, election’s over. Can we stop pretending Obama’s smart or qualified now? Seriously, He looks Dan Quayle look good.

    • Uncle Fester says:

      Seriously, He looks Dan Quayle look good.

      OK, now spell the common name of a nightshade plant domesticated for its edible underground stems…

    • SilentJ says:

      Kranix = sore loser. Let it go or you’re going to spend the next four (or eight!) years as a bitter obstructionist.
      -
      Don’t be that guy. It’s not good for you.

  28. Draker says:

    Red Green’s already on that idea!

  29. dfgdr says:

    also, cock


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