GANGSTA GANGSTA
GANGSTA GANGSTA
It’s Not About A Salary, It’s All About Reality
(Bill Gates)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: heatherjlc
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I can’t believe this one made it up here! Yeah!
congrats literal!
Yeah, congrats!
Not my favorite (or best thought-out) submission, but gratifying to have one here all the same (hell, the Best Picture Oscar for “Rain Man” was still an Oscar, by the by).
Some of my other random thoughts are at the link behind my name.
This did make me laugh…congrats!
I was just glad to see a picture that wasn’t inauguration or plane crash related!
Get down with your bad self Bill. Get down!
“I was just glad to see a picture that wasn’t inauguration or plane crash related!”
.
seconded.
.
too bad the six pics after this will be inauguration on a plane.
But I hated “Snakes on a Plane!”
Then you went into the movie expecting something more than “Snakes on a MotherFscking Plane”.
I thought it was pretty hilarious, and the title was terrific.
Congratulations Literal!
It’s not your best, but I’ve come to realize that the best ones don’t make it to the front page very often.
Well done!
i second scums assessment.
.
good lols die early deaths.
bad lols live forever in the pages of pk.
Like electronic herpes
*forwards to all coworkers at Microsoft*
*prays for call from Bill, promoting me thanks to your awesomeness*
Citation of working at Microsoft or it didn’t happen.
Having worked in government regulated industries, I can tell you that the saying is “If it isn’t documented, it didn’t happen.” However, judging by the garbage put out by MS, I can be fairly certain that they don’t adhere to any cGMP standards, and with the exception of SOX, probably don’t bother with documenting much of anything. (Ok, I’m being slightly snarky.)
That said, if HHNF really wants to claim he works for MicroSlop, I don’t think it’s going to gain him too many friends here. I say let him have at it.
You have no idea how right you are…
*Bites tongue, looks to shoulder-angel for reasurance…*
I’m *not* flying back there. That Red Bull gave me a tummy ache!
Wait wait wait- they build ships at Microsoft?
Wait wait wait–They customize cars at MicroSoft?
No sillies! It’s a reverse brothel!
reverse-brothel?
.
please give details… i’m curious…
Ya know, “Ooh, you’re so bigandhard, how about a party?”, ‘cept in reverse.
Oh, never mind. You get it now.
Or a company whose founder had seen Hillary Clinton naked.
Ya know.
Ships? Did I miss something?
The boat, apparently.
No, a while back HHNF got into a big ol’ snit with a bunch of people here, and at that time her story was that she worked in a shipyard…now, apparently, she works for Microsoft. The next time we have a lol relating to finance, she’ll be personal assistant to Ben Bernanke.
She can’t. I already am.
Then you know that HHNF is Bernanke’s advisor…
Nuh uh. Concubine.
And he says that she’s the Best Ever!
With a penis.
Aaaand…in bed.
But … but isn’t it a micro soft!?!
Very good
Got it, thanks for the info.
Have you considered that she still works in a shipyard and they make really little soft (inflatable) boats?
(Ya, ok, that was a stretch).
um, i do work for microsoft. Some people have two jobs, you know. i work union for the boilermakers brotherhood in seattle, and part-time as a software editor through microsot for the capitol. and it sucks. No notice ahead of time, they just call when they need me, and I’m seriously thinking about quitting.
no, i build ships at the shipyard, my full-time job, you idiot.
i just do microsoft editing for the capitol, and am rarely at the microsoft campus.
Actually, a more common saying is probably: “Screenshot or it didn’t happen”.
No, it’s not.
Oh really?
Google Search Results:
“Screenshot or it didn’t happen” 7,370,000 results.
“If it isn’t documented it didn’t happen” 1,666,000 results
Looks like you’re down by about 6 million hits. Better luck next time.
Obviously you underestimated the gamer community and our love of interweb forums.
Which part of “government regulated industries” were you too f’ing stupid to understand? Really. Tell me which part of that wasn’t clear. I’ll fix it for you.
Sorry, that was a little harsh. The harshness came from somewhere else, not your post. Still, I was speaking of something quite specific, not a google search.
That’s cool, i thought i was getting laid….off today. *peed pants*
and I know microsoft is internationally hated. Believe me, i throw out the cups, and take off my stupid microsoft hoodie when i leave…otherwise, the beatings never end.
And we can check your myspace page if we don’t believe you, right?
yup, but i dont p[ost shit about work anymore. Coworkers like to cause out-of-work drama on myspace.
Aw, and here I thought you were loved by all and worshipped by most. Too bad.
I don’t envy you the weird weather you are having, HHNF. Last time I was there the city was practically paralyzed, not being used to the snow. I was stuck on the wrong side of the pass for three days …
Well, at least you don’t work for Steve.
I hope your forward got you promoted!
Considering that she’s more than likely the girl who gets the coffee for the real workers at Microsoft, providing she even actually works there in between her other 6 jobs, I imagine that even moving to answering phones would be a step up. Maybe we should have a seance for one of her 5 dead brothers or her 2 dead mothers and ask them where she really works.
OMIGOSH!
Now I recognize the moniker. I’ve enjoyed this person’s interesting pseudo-fiction, too!
Thanks for the noggin’ jog, froofrou!
I have two other jobs. Learn to count. Shipyard and half-assed side project home shop, FullThrottle Motoring. And I only have 1 dead brother, but thanks for rubbing that in, you asshole. Lets make fun of your dead relatives. and one dead mom. andd it’s ‘totally my fault for deciding to work instead of driving them around all day. So, no one that says they work somewhere actually works anywhere. The people you see at work are just coming and going through the motions to impress people they met online. Don’t be an idiot.
Take your own advice, troll.
Okay. Moment over. Sorry, all.
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
And this is my first front pager, BTW.
I’ve only ever been to “upcoming” before this.
God. Nesting fail. My brain quit working. Sigh.
Is that how the conversations with the voices in your head go?
I blame Vista. It’s taken over my life …
well played!
So far I’ve had a few upcoming, but that’s it.
*pouts*
Good job literal, good job.
Its all about the Pentiums, baby….. (wierd al stuck in my head now…)
…And now he’s stuck in mine as well.
Drink some brain bleach…seems to help with those pesky songs stuck in the melon…
*hands over brain bleach*
~Whatcha wanna do
Wanna be hackers, codecrackers, slackers
Wastin time with all the chatroom yakkers
9 to 5 chillin at Hewlett-Packard
LOL! Love that one!
….uhhhh wow…
You have no idea how much I hate this man.
I have to sell machines pre-loaded with Vista at work. It’s like… well, you feel dirty and sick afterwards. I’m sure you can supply your own metaphor.
Damn you Bill Gates. DAMN YOU.
*hugs* It’s all right….they can replace it with another OS if they want.
I like Bill, and I like Vista. Hah.
That’s … just … sad ….
I forget who said it a couple lols back, but it was said well: I want to drive a car, not build one. As for Bill, he’s spending a lot of time and $$$ working to end poverty, so that works for me too.
See, that is why I am so conflicted on him. He does horrible things to the industry, rips off other OS’s and eats babies, but he spends the money he makes so well. Much as I hate some Microsoft products, if he goes under, so do most of the humanitarian organizations in the world.
wow, when I first wrote that I wrote tags saying that it was arguable, but the comment machine took those out. Hopefully people have learned that I’m just sarcastic by now, it hasn’t been proven that he eats babies (yet).
Never put things in pointy tags <,> unless absolutely required.
If it is required, use < for < and > for >
And thus the devil holds the less fortunate hostage so you will buy his goods with a clear conscience despite how much they hurt you. He spends his money well so you will spend yours poorly…
The latest open source distributions just work, no building required. Bill’s wife convinced him to give away his money, and as far as I know, he doesn’t give away any time. His business ethics are one step up from the mafia’s. He steals other people’s and companies ideas and then drives them into bankruptcy. He lies, cheats , steals and bribes. Bill Gates is not a nice man.
but…but…he lets up play Halo and gives us awesome freebees and crap!
and still charges us to play xbox live while play station online is free…
I meant at work. Otherwise, I don’t play for that reason. *gets left out of l337g33k cafeteria table because I’m cheap*
we’re all frenemies with Bill. Without him, life would suck, but with him, life sucks. Kindof like a hot, evil girlfriend. Without the hot.
there is nothing wrong with a hot evil girlfriend.
.
as long as she’s mute.
Or you’ve got a universal remote.
I don’t know. If she was mute, it’d be all the more creepy and meancing.
In some ways good. In some ways deeply unsettling and very bad.
Consider – hot evil mute GF advancing on you with intent. This could so very easily end very badly for you, but you know you’re gonna go along with it.
When did you quit being the supervisor everyone loves at the shipyard? Damn, I actually believed you. I gotta quit believeing women…
I still am NOT a supervisor, but a training instructor. And on one loves me now because I told them that waiting until the end of shift to call in is not okay, i don’t care how shitty seattle has been taking care of the roads, and that two weeks past the last snow you cant call in and say you cant make it due to snow. So, yeahhh…didnt get many Christmas/Channukah cards this year….
don’t be stupid. I never was a supervisor. An INSTRUCTOR. Duuurrr.
A quote: “none of the 92 people I oversee and instruct dislike me.” That implies supervisor. And you never said anything different.
As compared with Valve who gives away the Source Development Kit and runs games on an open source engine (aptly named the Source Engine) which allows gamers to customize all aspects of the game, create new maps, weapons, skins, player models, game dynamics, and even change the rules of the game to fit the custom maps/scenarios. Not only that, the engine runs multiple games such as Team Fortress 2, Half-Life, Left 4 Dead, and others. All of which can be modded by the player base, for free. If all that wasn’t enough, ONLINE PLAY IS FREE.
Microsoft…Freebies…HAHAHAHA.
But, Steve, Windows comes with Freecell and Minesweeper!
But not pinball anymore.
Well, that sux. (You can tell I’m still on xp, I guess!)
Do you know that the cheat code for the original
Minesweeper is still the cheat code?
I’m sorry, doesn’t he spend his working hours now with the Bill Gates Foundation?
[LINK] to foundation website
Suffice to say we’re all better off as long as he stays away from Scientology…
Ok, but you know what?
I want to use my computer, not a f’ing Mattel’s Busy Box. And I want the computer to do what I tell it to do, when I tell it to do it. I don’t want it to decide what I should do and when.
I wasn’t thrilled with XP either, but at least I could tweak it enough to make it viable.
Any time a computer is trying to figure out what I really want, instead of doing WTF I told it to, is a bad thing. They think they’ve got AI working, and they don’t. (Google is trying to do the same thing with their search engine, and it’s annoying as hell trying to get it to search for string literals. Even if I put it in quotes, it changes tense, plural and even adds synonyms when I don’t want it to).
Do you let the auto-cleanup program run? Bad move if you say yes. The algorithm it uses to decide what you do and don’t use is f’ed, and always has been. Want an example? Go to your computer and run Add or Remove Programs. Now sort by ‘Frequency of use’. You tell me if it’s right.
On my system, it says that programs I use every single day are used rarely. It says that programs that I run once/month or two are used frequently.
I have little problem with how Bill is spending his money, but I have lots of problems with how he made his money.
Back in the ’80s I worked for one of MS’s major competitors, one that he never did crush or buy out. Let’s just say that they were at a minimum unethical.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled rants…
Ooh, you best not be talking smack bout my Mattel Busy Box. You’re just jealous cause Santa didn’t bring you one.
Nah brah, the Busy Box is well designed. I wouldn’t dis it. It does what it’s told, when it’s told. It doesn’t try to delete the red door just because it thinks I haven’t played with it as often as the wheel.
When I go to spin the wheel, it doesn’t prompt me with “Are you sure you really want to spin the wheel? ’cause if you do, you know Mattel’s isn’t responsible for what happens. It’s all gonna be your fault if you choose to.”
It doesn’t bug me every 15 minutes with “You know, you haven’t played with the door, do you want to play with the door now? Come on, do you? Come on….. No? Well, I’m going to activate the door for you, ’cause I know you really meant to play with the door even though you’ve told me 100 times you don’t.”
But you know, I’m really indifferent…
The use of the word “brah” makes me ill. Really.
The lack of the use of the bra makes ME ill. GAH!
Get over it brah, I’m in Hawaii
get over it, we’re all jealous.
So? Come on over. Great water. Beautiful beaches. Perfect weather.
I lived in Waianae and Honolulu. Man, I miss Hawaii.
Sweet. I’m in Kailua. When were you here? What did you do? Most importantly, why did you leave?
1997-2000, I worked for Lyons Associates in Honolulu, a big civil engineering firm, doing tech writing. You know the hillside in Honolulu
that was slowly sliding? They did the remediation on that. They also do a bunch of projects overseas. I left because the woman I moved there with dumped me, and I had a friend from San Francisco come and visit, and he convinced me to move back.
Funny, because I just moved here (last June) from SF after having been there for 15 years.
SF isn’t the same city I moved to in ‘93 and I needed new adventures, so here I am. I’m loving it!
There’s an auto-cleanup?!?! *look of horror* That must be what ate my WoW program! How do I turn the blasted thing off?
An operating system shouldn’t have an auto ANYTHING.
It should have a big red button that says “Morons, press here” that could enable all of the automatic features. Unfortunately, even when you set everything to auto, the OS insists upon informing said morons of what is being done, which just confuses them.
I really like my XP, but the Mac OS is incredible. I wish it was more mainstream and business friendly.
Vista annoys the hell out of me, it won’t do what I tell it to do without asking me if I’m sure 13 times. FFS just do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it, and don’t do anything else!
May I venture to guess that you don’t have cats, either?
And it was a stupid comment when you made it before… I’d stop crowing it out like it’s ‘clever’ when it’s akin to being told that you’re wearing Huggies Pull-Ups…
wow. that’s like saying you like polio.
Or flesh-eating viruses.
how much were you paid to say that?
Corporate whore.
I got a good price, considering the goods.
If only I coulda found a buyer a few years back… I’d have been rolling in money.
Damn cookies. So delicious, yet such a bad idea.
Seriously, who thinks ‘chocolate… yeah it’s pretty fattening. let’s add some dough, pack in the carbs… hmm, what about a little sugar… BAM!’
you mean, ‘rolling in the dough’
you see what I did there? bwahahah… okay, I’ll stop
[LINK] to the wiki article for a lady who would be in my top 8 if i had a myspace. cookies may be a bad idea, but they are also a damn delicious one
Oh, purple switch, when my earlier comments shows up, just know that I meant it in the nicest way possible! I hit “post” and then thought, “I hope they know I’m joking….”
I’m pretty tough to offend. Unless you’re batting harder than fester, it’ll be fine.
Cool.
Don’t know you that well!
Diss’ll even catch you when you accidentally taze yourself.
Oooh, but you don’t have to work for him. I think he retired after Vista came out because he couldn’t stand walking around campus with us all throwing things at him, voodoo curses and whatnot. The guilt is what did it, the guilt I say!!!!
Looks like this gangsta’s got only 8 fingas.
OK, maybe 9.
Funny…I only have 8 fingas…but I do have 2 thumbs…bringing the hand digit total to 10…You mean Gates has 11 digits!? No wonder he can type code so quickly…
Don’t forget the prehensile tail.
i don’t think gates can write code… he just bought people who could.
Yeah. Oompa Loompas.
2+ hours and no one’s whinged about the unfair treatment of Bush or Obama?
Let the PK healing commence!
how does one “whinge”?
does it involve some sort of body articulation?
No, it’s an British English vernacular word that means ‘a whimpering whine’ It’s the sort of noise teething children make, or a spoiled one when you won’t give it what it wants… Bit like the Democrats from 2000 – 2008, the Republicans for the next 4 to 8 years, and Libertarians all the damned time…
i see you read my profile saying that i’m a libertarian… even though you mention that you’re a libertarian in another post…
.
but i do agree with your other post… just keep the government out of my business and my wallet and i’ll stay out of theirs…
I whine all the damned time… suck it up…
lol. i’ll try to…
Actually, I first heard the term from my husband, who, whilst vacationing in Brizzie, was called on his whinging after an epic chunder, which followed a long night with a gutfull of piss (Plonk and XXXX, if you’re interested).
I love that accent … and the slang!
An epic chunder… yup, you were in Bris-vegas all right. Not surprised, certainly if he was hammering away on the Four-x. It’s not because he was pissed, it was just the body rejecting some really bad beer.
You’re right — he actually got Hep A from bad Four-X!
My favorite is when I get going and he calls me a “yabber.” That shuts me right up. Oh, and “ute” is so much cooler than SUV. I just love that one.
Dear Casual observer, please click on the Cheney LOL for your dose of “whinging”…whatever that is…
I heard that Whinging is illegal in 50% of the United States
….which is almost half!
I think it depends on whether you whinge with a relative closer than a cousin-thrice-removed…you could serve 8-10 in a prison where you’re likely to get whinged!!
“you could serve 8-10 in a prison where you’re likely to get whinged!!”
`
with a penis.
There is a comfort in knowing that I am not needed anymore.
Wherever there is an innertoobz, DWN will always be needed.
Sounds like I am more needed at a tire factory or waterpark then…
but not quite. I regret to inform you that you will not be reaching the half mark with your anti-whinging legislation. SUPPORT MY RIGHT TO WHINGE!
Well, it has to be a qualified right. Whinging is all well and good in the privacy of your own home with consenting adults.
and 90% of DC…which is more than half!!!
Hey! I wanna be whinged! Do it on my LOL! I don’t even care if I get arested for it …
It’s not fair that Dickie gets whinged, but Billy doesn’t.
Buntcha classists
*whines and pouts*
Actually, you whinged rather well when I made an insulting comment about Americans elsewhere… It’s usually a sign one needs to get their big girl panties on..
[LINK]
I beg to differ on whinging.
In one place you posted:
She can’t help being stupid… she’s an American…
Right below that you posted:
Tired and racist… my, you’re really a piece of work…
To which I replied four words.
Really, now, Uncle Fester …
After which you called me mentally dull.
How does my questioning the obviously conflicting content (which I read as “don’t be a racist, as only I am allowed to be a racist,” of two of your postings remotely relate to the definition you provided earlier, which includes a “whimpering whine?”
[OTHER LINK]
You sure live up to you name… and yes, I’d say this was a whimpering whine…
Well, I calls like I sees it … and that, sir, reeked of obtuse hyprocisy.
Meh. What do I care?
*simpers*
Another good sheep impression there Lit…
you need to pull it out more though, with vibrato
mehhhhhhhh! mehhhhhhhh!
Try “bah”.
Not hung round sheep much…
Married to a farmer. The “bah” was used in a different context.
or that one has their big girl panties in a wad (or a twist, depending on your neck of the woods).
It’s knickers in a bunch. Get it right, all of you, already!
Got your knickers in a bunch over that phrase-mangling, don’t you, literal?
Get your pantaloons out of a spiral!
Bloomers in a wad works in a pinch, too!
I’d always heard knickers in a twist.
No, it’s Undies in an Undulation. Sheesh.
OH MY GOD.
I haven’t said pantaloons in months.
She just took it to the Mahal!
“After which the reverend suffered from and inoportune pantaloon baloon…”
I love that word.
FLAVA FLAV. >.> Sorry, it’s what I thought of.
Why is his hair green??
FINALLY!!
WE’VE GOTTEN OURSELFS A DAMN GOOD PRESIDENT!!
Thank you : D
are you sure you’re on the right thread? this one is about someone who is not president… or are you still drunk from yesterday’s parade?
I’d say that a meth comedown, not booze…
Bill Gates for US president? Interesting idea.
That would explain “ourselfs”.
*cough* ourselves *cough*
Nesting fail.
*sigh*
if we applied the ms business plan to the world america would start by copying the government practices of it’s major competitors and then swiftly undermine their marketability so that we can buy out the countries at a fraction of their net worth… then we can substantially cut the quality of our exports so that we make more profit… yeah. that’ll work…
I, for one, welcome our new ubr overlords.
I suspect this was actually captioned by Herbert Kornfeld a/k/a Tha H-Dogg (link).
!!! That’s IT!! Oh man, the only one I like better is Gorzo the Mighty – except he’s only had 1 or 2 columns. I hope they revive Gorzo.
“…and makin’ some noise…”
Homies all sittin around just hanging
Some programmin’
Some gangbangin’
To a kid looking up to me:
Life ain’t nothin’ but pixels and polys.
Finally! Thank you, and that’s perfect.
DUDE! that’s a fort minor quote. awesomeness! Remember the Name!
LOL at matador too
My pleasure. Glad you got it!
Dear Bill, please don’t take my husband’s job away because profits fell 11%. I’m eternally grateful you saw talent in him when you hired him but that was just over a year ago. Isn’t 5000 jobs a little steep to appease the shareholders?
compared to the rest of the economy? 5k is a drop in the bucket…
Tell that to the 5k who will be losing their jobs.
I feel badly for your husband, and all the others (3 million, I heard today) who are expected to lose their jobs this year. I suppose knowing you are one of many doesn’t do much to make you feel better, does it?
Thank you, Mark. I don’t think MS employs 3 million people. I read it was 100k+, but I could be wrong. He hasn’t come home yet today, which is a good sign. LOL
Umm … 3 million will lose their jobs in the US. Not three million at Microsoft.
Mike Shinoda is awesome!
I still have no idea whether that’s a sample or not (some knucklehead below posted it’s a Fort Minor quote) so I’m just glad it actually was an NWA reference. And I couldn’t believe I had to go through some 150 posts to find an NWA-related comment. Kudos to MCab.
FORT MINOR WOO