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Breaking News – Bored with trying to sell Senate seat, Blago tries to auction off Illinois residents
(Rob Blagojevich)
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picture: New York Times. lol caption: acbeck0711
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Cheezburger Network Blog
The dead baby on the stage is hilarious …
Oddly enough, it will sell better than the rest.
Zombie baby for the zombie baby cannon?
Oooooh, good thinking. *places bid*
It lost all of it’s teeth trying to bite through the hair-helmet on Blogo’s head.
*puts down ‘A Modest Proposal’*
No, dead babies are worthless according to Mr. Swift. Must be fat little ones, alive and well. They make the best meat.
*shudders*
well worthless to eat of course, but Mary Shelley can show you how to make some interesting bookmarks
I NEED THEM FOR MY CANNON!!! Why is that so hard to understand? I need ammo for my zombie baby cannon to use against Ann Coulter.
did you win the bidding yet, or not?
Why yes, only had to sell them AC’s virginity and FailV’s female ancestor.
Damnit I wanted AC’s virginity. Thanks DWN
Well at least the zombie baby cannon will be operational shortly!
Very true and I am sure that he just wanted AC’s virginity as a sales commodity, not for use. So you can still haggle, dear charro!
But I don’t have anything in trade… Except this rusty old soul I “borrowed” from ex-hubby.
Well you could always start haggling with it and then con the buyer?
I guess. I’m not so good at haggling. Can you help?
Very well, you wiggle, I’ll talk, and we will fleece the sucker while he is distracted.
*wiggles*
*talks and fleeces the mark, leaving him with barely a shirt. Gives charro her cut and retires to a place to stare at the ceiling for a few hours.*
*takes cut to pawnshop and rakes in the dough*
Woot Woot!
A small comfort.
You’ll have to go back to sheep, then.
which one? i’ve got a great aunt i’m not using
Then that is the one I sold. I was very vague with the details so he won’t know the difference.
You clarty bastard!
Pfft, sticks and stones, love.
I love it when AC cusses in Scottish.
It’s why I got a high price.
Oh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Sorry, I’m just being a bit caustic after reading the thread with the kid and the soldier…
No need to apologize. Take those kinds with a grain of salt
and enjoy the rest.
Is that iodized salt or not?
Iodized of course! Don’t want any of us producing cretins for children, right?!
When it rains, it pours.
It can’t rain all the time.
Unless you are in Seattle, or so I hear.
That’s most likely due to the fact that they tried to build a weather controlling device there operating with similar technology to the zombie baby cannon. It failed and caused it to perpetually rain there.
I always found it amusing when Alice used to throw the baby in the air and catch it on the end of a sword… Happy memories of the ’splatter zone’…
What a nice old man he is now…
But he still wears the makeup on occasion now though, doesn’t he?
It’s hard to tell…
“The dead baby on the stage is hilarious …”
`
He’s just resting.
Look, matey, I know a dead baby when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
Or at least dead tired.
No, no…..No, ‘e’s stunned!
No, no, he’s stunned! You stunned him just as he was waking up.
That baby is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not half an hour go, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Well, he’s…he’s, ah…probably pining for the fjords.
PININ’ for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, well, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got him home?
This type of baby prefers keepin’ on it’s back! Remarkable child, is’nt it, squire? Lovely plumage!
I took the liberty of examining that baby when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting in tis seat in the first place was that it had been NAILED there!!!!!
Well, o’course it was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that baby down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent ‘em apart with its bare hands, and VOOM!
VOOM?!? Mate, this baby wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! It’s bleedin’ demised!
No, no, it’s just pining!
He’s not pinin’! He’s passed on! This baby is no more! He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed him to the perch he’d be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! he’s off the twig! He’s kicked the bucket, he’s shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-BABY!!!!!!
Well, I’d better replace it, then. ….Sorry squire, I’ve had a look around the back of the shop, and we’re right out of babies.
I see, I get the picture.
I…got a slug!
Pray, does it talk?
Not really.
WELL IT’S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
No, I guess not….
Well.
So…do you want to come back to my place, then?
*steals furtive glance about*
…. Yeah, all right, sure.
*borrows Skittles, ginger, extra rope, AC’s virginity and FailV’s female ancestor*
And for something completely different.
The Larch… The Larch…
*And NOW
Ugh, typing fail.
I love you guys.
And now, number one.
I suspect you are not a Noob like you claim. You have lured me to this thread under false pretenses Sir/Madam!
Wah-fer thin mint, perhaps …?
HEY!!! That’s my ginger!!! AND MY SKITTLES!!! Why?!?!
Ours is not to reason ‘why?’ Instead, one should lie back and think of England!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh England, you dirty, dirty country you. That’s right, you can… right there….
Wait, what?
O_o… I need to speak with His Cruelty about this…
Ummmmm, England is my, um, pet name for Max. Yeah…. he likes me to call him by the names of countries that once had large empires to remind him of what a big, bad warlord he is. I’m just gonna go now… *tiptoes out*
LOL, fav’d…
Several of them are broken! Better be some kind of warranty!
I dunno…. this is a pretty motley crew.
Just consider them options for the discerning customer.
With an “appetite for destruction.”
The years of drink, drugs and wild popper fuelled sex are never a kind mistress to the hair rockers…
Apparently it can turn you into an annoyed looking Negro woman. Potent stuff… The angry old man behind the wheelchair doesn’t look too happy about his transmutation either. Dead baby or wheelchair bound don’t sound like great transmutations either.
Serious though, I wonder what they look so irked about? Besides being near a intellectual vacuum…
I know; this is one of those pictures where I’d like to know what was really going on! They look like they were waiting for a bus and somehow ended up on stage with Blago.
I do wonder why there is a baby face down on the ground more than anything though…
blago just shot him with the imaginary gun that he’s holding.
Good thinking, chief!
Oh and your encore was posted a couple minutes after I realized you had left for the night.
Better than getting shot with rocket launcher he keeps under the Wookie on his head.
What exactly do you feed a headwookie?
Dead babies…
FTW!
Or pretzels.
I thought it was all very Spinal Tap…
Did they become annoyed looking minorities? What exactly are these drugs they are taking?! Some of them turn grown men into dead babies!
What?
That was my thinking.
You think?
You’d be surprised.
You could Motley Crue in a room with 2 tons of crack and they would come out a few hours later “Yeah!! Let’s do another live album!!”
*puts head in hands*
“Fcuk they’re still alive. Damnit!”
I get the feeling you’re quoting from something here — a comedy routine about how only the good musicians die off and the crappy ones live forever? — but I can’t identify it.
There wasn’t enough shout and random hand gestures to be dane cook. And it wasn’t racist so it wasn’t carlos mencia. It seems familiar to me too though. Maybe it’s the dead baby’s comedy routine…
Denis Leary…
Quick … maybe it’s not too late for the baby … somebody call Dr. Feelgood, STAT!
Meh. This should have been posted under the Motley Crue thread. I plead stupid.
Maybe Dr. Tinycat would be a better choice?
I approve of Dr. Tinycat being called in to consult. All in favour?
*raises paw*
This picture needs kittens!
TBH, I’ve yet to see a picture not enhanced by boobies…
Auschwitz?
Lice & nits?
Chancres?
Howz about this pic? *shudder*
If that’s not shopped, what’s the infestation there?
Shopped, totally, but the boobie was shopped onto a photo of a seed pod, so for your consideration I present a picture NOT enhanced by the addition of boobies. LOL.
….And just for complete fairness, I present a picture of a nice pair of boobies. [LINK]
FULL of fail. I meant to link to this ….
And just for Uncle Fester, a trio of boobies … with two barely legal!
Those chicks bear a marked resemblance to Unc.
Hey, waitaminit…
Lies! Bestiality isn’t legal
I like boobies myself, but these pictures are full of win! Bountiful win, even!
It was dark, I was drunk, she didn’t say ‘no’… Hell, you’d think i’d dug her up deliberately, by the fuss everyone makes…
Well, I’m not going to say it was one of your
prouder moments, but…
Aw shucks. They’re so cute!
*hugs*
That’s awesome, and following on the earlier theme — Ministry of Silly Walks boobies!
THANK you for telling us 1. it was shopped and 2. the other pic was of seeds. *shudder* I swear my skin crawled off and headed for the door.
I found it strangely arousing…
Poppy seeds?
Do they actually call them “boobies” in England, or is there some other word for them like “biscuits” or “trams” that we don’t have on this side of the pond?
*aware that there are other words for “boobies” in America, also*
*settles in comfortably and listens* Oooooooooo, I love learning new languages.
Boobs, tits, gazongas, paps…
A former co-worker showed up at the office one day wearing an uncharacteristically low-cut blouse. I was so surprised that I blurted out, “OH!! You have a tattoo on your… er-uh… cupcake!”
To be fair, they were covered in strange colored paper and had frosting on them.
Just like in my… Um… Somebody else’s fantasies.
How tacky can this guy get.
I’ll pay 50 dollars for the gimp, if you throw in the dead zombie child.. . . . . .
I object. I do not want to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Unless I get lots of skittles.
Must keep dirty comment about buying charro to self… Must keep dirty comment about… O_O
Must keep mouth shut when thinking… Must keep mouth shut when thinking… Must…
Yeah.. nice recovery there DWN.
Hopefully he is only auctioning off people who were born here. Then I’m in the clear.
Ah good, because it isn’t like I bought all these Skittles… and ginger… and extra rope… and stuff…
Ummm, ya. None of that at all…
mmmMmMMMMMmMMMmM Skittles
*thinks about it and sighs* Here, have the bag. I need to behave a little so I can get back enough cred not to be the punchline of every sex joke that comes up.
*gives bag of freshly bought Skittles*
nomnomnomnomnomnom
I love skittles. Thanks DWN!!!!
Yep, I know hun. No problem.
Especially since you destroyed your underground cred already.
Ya, least I can be a sell out who isn’t the punchline of almost every sex joke on PK…
Mmm, ginger. So uh… how YOU doin’?
I am fine, thanks for asking. Enjoying the ginger?
Aye, good stuff! Australian diced, my fave. How ever did you know?
I am magic like that.
nice photoshopping.
nice comprehension fail.
Haha I live in Illinois I hate that guy here we call him Blagoabitch!