*Psst* Should we tell her the election is over???
*Psst* Should we tell her the election is over???
(Heidi Montag)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: Allhopeisgone0826
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Her eyes look strangely big in proportion to her nose
I keep going to type naughty replies to that but I’m sure they’d get moderated…sigh.
Not always
You know what they say, big eyes means a big, um, wait, that’s not right…
… *shudder*
*also shudders*
*still shuddering*
That might be a seizure
“Throwing a hot dog down a hallway”?
“Even a 747 looks small if you land it in the Grand Canyon”
Normally I would say “what?” but, considering the shuddering, I think I won’t.
*spaz*
LOL, wise decision.
A certain exchange from Clerks II comes to mind.
…..But what’s really odd is the hollow sound it makes when you knock on the side of her head.
If you listen in her ear, you can hear the ocean!
*leans in and listens, seems physically and emotionally shocked, half stumbling, half sitting down in a chair*
It was as if a million voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were immediately silenced….
No, I meant the girl in the picture, not me, Silly! XD
But then again, you’re not likely to have Obi-Wan Kenobi in your skull… are you? (On the plus side, it would be the Sir Alec Guinness “classic” model.)
*shoots Ewan MacGregor*
Wait, no -I’ll forgive him due to Moulin Rouge.
*resurrects Ewan MacGregor*
*shoots Ewan MacGregor just because he’s Ewan MacGregor*
Sorry AC…had to be done…
Yeah, Moulin Rouge was aaaaaaaaages ago…
*helps dig grave*
Aw don’t blame him, blame Hayden Christensen.
I do. For everything. Even for Mission Impossible 2 and Indiana Jones 4.
and the death of the Archduke Ferdinand?
ESPECIALLY the death of Archduke Ferdinand. The world will never see his swimsuit cover now!!!
I blame him for the death of Generalissimo Fransisco Franco, who, the last time I checked, was still dead.
I blame him for AIDS.
I blame him for CNN.
I blame him for taxation.
I blame him for my twin babies that I’m about to give birth to.
Is one of the babies 1/4th Trinidad Jew and the other 3/8ths honkey-tonk ma?
* honkey-tonk man. Not ma. Although, that could fit too
*Ack!*
I gave birth to my own (honkey-tonk) mother?! Damn you Hayden Christensen!!!!
That’s because her nose has been shaved down and her eyes enlarged by a plastic surgeon. Most other parts of her have been surgically modified as well. Unfortunately they did in fact fail to install anything resembling cognitive reasoning.
You can enlarge people’s eyes? Crrreeepy. I don’t even want to know how that works.
Just put a leafblower in your mouth…
Yeah but it makes it easier for the doctor to find his way around if you use a 12 gauge.
Life in general is easier when you use a 12 gauge.
Nah – it’s over when you use a 12 gauge.
easier… over… same thing.
EMA!!!!!!
*run hugs*
*seconds froo’s scream of delight and hugs* WHERE YOU BEEN GIRL???!!!
Easy there, gal – you ‘kay?
I’ve seen a 12 gauge to the head- very messy. Better to use a leafblower.
You nearly always have to re-plaster the ceiling after that sort of thing…
I just keep large sheets of plastic hanging on my walls and ceilings…
And you can *never* get the texture right…
Shame she still has a mouth like a slit in a carrot…
That’s her meal for the day. If she doesn’t keep it in her mouth, she’ll
forget where it is…
“Her eyes look strangely big in proportion to her nose”
`
Maybe she should audition for a pizza commercial.
Blackhole Sun Video…
Yea, and so do her, nevermindddddddd
But you can’t even see them here
Well, it is still good to register to vote even though the election isn’t happening right that minute…
yes, i agree. but i think the poster of this lol might have been referencing how heidi montag usually just tries to ride a constant wave of media attention, and telling people to register to vote right before an election that was so insanely hyped by the media would be right up her alley.
What election? There was an election???
Yep! You won.
That’s what happens when you skip the meeting. They nominate you to do something no one else wants to do.
With a penis in bed with the ashes of Humphrey Bogart.
Sorry to say, my cousin Dustin snorted those last weekend. I hope these Lucille Ball ashes will do.
Beggars can’t be choosers. Here ya go Rho!
Wow…thank you, DWN…
*feels awkward because doesn’t have a gift for DWN*
*looks around frantically to find something to wrap up*
*finds bottle of Goldschlager, but remembers he doesn’t drink*
*hears doorbell; answers door*
*rings doorbell again*
*mutters* Stupid Rho, never answers the door when I’m here.
*starts to put chicken breast out for kittehs wandering around*
*door opens*
Oh, froo! Come on in! Pardon the mess, but I’m getting
all my Mardi Gras stuff out…
*IDEA*
Say, froo, would you mind helping me for a moment or
two? I need to brainstorm a costume, and I could use a
dumm- … I mean a model.
*looks suspiciously at the large roll of wrapping paper that rho is holding*
Y’know, that won’t make a good dress……HEY!
*wraps froo tightly in purple, green and gold
metallic paper, binds froo’s wrists and ankles
with festive beads, and adds matching doubloon
earrings and necklace*
*catches breath for a second*
*pokes froo with troll stick, and hops her over
to DWN*
Hey DWN, I know it’s not much, but here’s a
little token of my esteem.
*muffled yelling*
DBLAMNIT, RLHO! LEBT BEE BGOOO!!!!
*wiggle wiggle*
*can’t get loose*
*embarrassed*
I’m sorry DWN…I seemed to have
forgotten something.
*rushes home, grabs stack of feather boas,
runs back, wraps froo up in boas, paying
particular attention to the mouth, while
allowing air to the nose*
*(trickier than it sounds, with feathers…)*
Okay, sorry about that–She’s all yours!
*tears off like a shot*
Gee – the least he could say is “thanks”…
I’m honored. *carries Froofrou off and serves her imaginary tea*
Most disturbing thing you’ve said on this site yet.
Now that I know where the bar is, I can aim higher. Bwahahaha
Somehow I knew you’d say that…
… But that’s why we love you.
To death, with a stick covered in broken glass…
or for the more light hearted crowd: In Bed…
I wish I could quit you…
I know you do… I wish you would be consistent with your orders for the war parties. The men are rebelling against the new Fluffy hats and Loincloth look. I won’t even speak of the Wearing Fake Bass that looks like it is eating their head division. They are suffering from dementia and have beaten themselves with their helms more than their enemies.
We need a new tactic. I suggest less mercury in the helmets.
The men will wear the fluffy hats and they will LIKE them!
And the brave men of the WFBTLLIIETH Division well be assigned soon
Im working with Steve Martin to develop some new helmets that
will create the illusion that they are already slain… by ARROWS!
Its GENIUS!
Oh a fake army of the walking dead could have an unnerving affect on our enemies, Your Cruelty. Must we use Kazoos though? Would not drums inspire more fear? Or are we playing on being underestimated again?
Speaking of which sire, I know I have big feet but clown shoes?
Hmm… you’re very easily disturbed…
W00T!!1!
Congratulatory brownies?
*holds out plate to rho*
Why thank you, Charro Dear!
*takes brownie*
*notes brownie on disclosure form*
Anybody notice that the new version of the Pepsi logo looks stikingly similiar to the O-man’s logo? “This Presidential Term sponsored by Pepsi”
Ironic considering he’s done Coke. I guess he’s made up his mind about the Pepsi Challenge.
But you can’t even snort pepsi! Properly anyway.
Yeah, the ice cubes keep getting stuck up my nose! *rimshot*
And thus, I have indeed snorked my pepsi, thankums to you.
I just have problems getting Pepsi into a straight line
No problem with the straw though!
G.W. Bush has done cocaine as well. What’s your point?
There is a difference between using illegal drugs, and being a drug addict. Past drug use has no bearing on job performance. If you eliminate everyone who’s used illegal drugs EVER from employment eligibility, you would make over 40% of the american workforce unemployable.
That also means that according to our current laws, over 40% of americans are “criminals”. Isn’t that nice?
I think you missed the point.. He was saying Obama has done coke in a jesterly fashion to point out that he eventually chose Pepsi over Coca Cola…..
Ahhhh if it gets explained it loses the funny.
Hmm…I must have my short shoes on today.
That went right over my head. /sigh
I ruined the funny…
*sulks in the corner*
*sees Steve piled up in the corner*
Awww, poor dear! Don’t worry, we all make mistakes, right?
*offers Steve a LifeSaver*
It’s ok.. Here I still have brownies.
*holds out plate*
*snugs up to charro*
Ummmm, they look good… *looks up hopefully with big brown eyebones*
*snuggle*
Have a brownie pdq. You look hungee.
mmmm LifeSaver!
*noms*
*sticks out green tongue for self amusement*
I feel much better, thanks Rho!
*cheerfully leaves corner to investigate brownie stash*
There’s more to vote on than just the President…
An example is right now an English only bill is trying to be passed in my county, so I’m registered so I can vote for or against it.
Understandable, particularly if you live in Nicaragua or Punta del Este… where IS this bill attempting to be passed?
May not be the same one, but there is one in the early-voting stage in Nashville.
Who is she? AND why is she on punditkitchen?
If you google Heidi Montag you might find out more than I did. Apparently she’s some kind of reality show “celebrity”?? All my trip through the tubes did for me was remind me why I don’t watch tv anymore.
but if you google her too hard, she lets out that silly giggle of hers…
And then her waste of space BF/husband gets all pissed at her and emotionally abuses her on camera.
-
GOD I HATE THEM. Especially him. He reminds me of an ex *shudder*
Eww. Sorry, froo.
Word to the wise. Load ‘Doom’. find the ‘God mode’. Punch everything to death.
Ooooooh, good one. My personal favorite is to make a pile of bodies in Assassin’s Creed. Especially in the city where I can maim those British accented twits. Not the sophisticated accent, mind you but the ignorant version. Unfortunately I lack the information to be more specific.
You should know the difference better than I do
Hmmm, hopefully that isn’t taken offensively since I was asking an honest question since I know how the dialects are labeled in the Emerald Isles.
you mean cockney? I haven’t had the joy of playing Assassin’s creed so i’m guessing, but it’s the one, like Eliza from Pigmalion/my fair lady. that accent?
I believe so but I didn’t want to assume. I do recall it being very obnoxious and I have the urge to stab in the face those who use it. The dichotomy for me is that when I hear ignorance/arrogance through a British accent, I practically see red but when I hear intelligence through a British accent, I find myself liking the person almost on principle of how they sound.
I know what you mean, i do the same thing a bit. The way the Queen’s english is articulated is just…smooth to my ears. However hearing the streety/cockney/ mary poppins style accents just make me angry usually because it’s the sort of person that over stereotypes trying to do the bad accents.
Oh yes, very smooth and I could listen to it for hours. I like Irish as well. If it is any consolation, there is a city in Assassin’s Creed that has a ton of twits with that accent you can maim…
i’m getting my fill in Fable to be honest. >.> being evil is rather fun, especially when people start shit. “come on show us what you got” *shoot guy, stride into town*
The first time I heard Richard Dawkins speak (I live under a rock, so i hadn’t really heard anything from him till recently) I was just hypnotized by how he spoke.
Another person that does that is Neil Gaiman, I’m not sure what accent he has, it’s similar to Alan Rickman’s, but his voice matches exactly to the voice in my head when I’m reading or writing. it was very strange hearing him speak for the first time.
Hmmm I can’t think of any celebrity that entrances me like that… I did find people from time to time that spoke the accent and I just loved listening to them.
Gaiman is from the South Coast (Portsmouth, to be exact) but grew up in East Grinstead, which is in Sussex. Generally, he speaks ‘Accepted’ english.
Dawkins is an Army brat and also speaks ‘Accepted’ English with a pretty neutral accent
Alan Rickman’s accent makes me sit up and pay attention. So, for some reason, does Jeremy Irons’.
I met some likeable folk from somewhere in the North of England. They had nice accents…
Oh, and Newcastle people…
“Alan Rickman’s accent makes me sit up and pay attention. So, for some reason, does Jeremy Irons’.”
I totally agree. Although, I must say that sometimes what I’m paying attention to is the following thought:
“Why Jeremy Irons? Why are you in such a godawful movie? You’re better than this!”
Die Hard 3? C’mon… On second thoughts, the singlet was a mistake… and (thinking further) wasn’t Irons avenging the death of his brother in the first DH, who was played by Rickman? I should have picked better. Yippee-kay-yay.
I wasn’t thinking of Die Hard 3, more like Dungeons and Dragons and Eragon.
I had almost forgot… …. ……
Assassin’s Creed ranks up there with ‘Mary Poppins’ for the accuracy of its accents.
Never said it was accurate but it had the accent I loathed so it was cathertic to kill those twits. I am still curious for your input about accents though since I am curious what it is called. I think FailV answered but I am holding out for your reply on the matter.
‘Cockerny’ or ‘Mockney’
It’s what Daphne’s borther spoke in Frasier (which, since she had a VERY good Manchester accent (Stockport to be exact) was jarring in the extreme)
Oooh, many thanks. Consider me enlightened.
Oh that always bugged me. It seemed so weird. Maybe it was East London I was thinking of? I’m not very good with names either >.>
East London has a few accents… mostly variants of Cockney, but that that particular accent is a dialect of it’s own. ‘Cockerney’ and ‘Mockney’ are derogatory terms for people trying to ‘sahnd cockerny’
No dont tell her the election is over, just let her fade into shameful obscurity as no one remembers who she was 10 years from apart from a fake set of boobs with an annoying habit of being attached to worthless shell of a human….
And in case you couldnt tell… yes… I love her.
Am I reading this correctly? An evil warlord is going to sit idly by while a vacuous bleach-blonde with fake boobs is attached to a sniveling butt-munch?
Wow, marriage has soften you up, Dude. Maybe you should fall on your TV
remote, and put an end to it before Bill Shatner’s agent calls.
I think it falls under His Cruelty’s enjoy of watching fools fail. It is the enjoyment of her suffering even if it is projected that keeps His Cruelty warm at night. So His Cruelty doesn’t so much sit idly by as he ponders the spectacle and possibly finds amusement. However, I do not try to fathom His Cruelty’s motive, just help defend his honor or lack thereof.
You might wish to mind your tongue lest the Fake Bass helmet wearing minions find you and beat you with rubber fish. It is a terrible experience I assure you but very amusing to watch.
Good advice–thanks.
Besides, I wouldn’t want the tape on YouTube, like yours did!
Ya, my brother had it coming. His Cruelty was kind enough to lend me the troops for his punishment.
Oh, *wink–wink* that’s what I meant to say… Yeah, it was your
brother, not you! No, no, of course not *wink–wink* you, DWN!
What was I thinking???
Considering that my brother is a dirty blonde and I am a long haired brunette, it is hard for people to even think we’re brothers. Besides, I was hit with a real halibut, not rubber fish. Different video.
Screw it, even if she is fake, I think she’s pretty >.>
Meh. You’ll find a prettier and more real woman if you just go invest in a Real Doll for yourself. Probably smarter too. Definitely lower maintenance.
I’m trying to read this in any way that doesn’t sound sad and lonely…
Nope…got nothing.
Hmmm… I think it was only comparative to Heidi-ho, but heaven knows there’s them what prefers the smell of plastic. There’s been guys I’ve told weren’t worth my vibrator’s batteries.
Wow, pdq. Now you’ve gotten Ham lusting after your wiggly toy…
*pulls pdq off to the side, protecting her from trampling as Ham
rushes out the door to the adult toy shop*
*whew!* Thanks, luv! That poor guy’s going to be disappointed – the adult shop down that end of the block is strictly a leather joint. Now leather, THAT’S an attractive smell! *sniffs* Hey! You’re wearing *rho frantically shushes pdq*
*whispers*
Sorry about that, but a girl has to have a few secrets…
*chuckles*
I suppose they do.
But I was going to say, I have a pair just like that! With beads.
I was saying Heidi Montag was less real than a plastic f*ck doll. But you feel free to take it out of context anyway your little heart desires, I guess.
I’m sorry, but I have to put her in the Anne Coulter/Elizabeth Hasselbeck/Sarah Palin category: God help me, I know it’s wrong, but I’d just like to have her star in my own “Dear Penthouse” story. Yeah, I’m always attracted to the worst women…
Never know, maybe a good rogering from the Markster is what they need to see the light?
I think that must be the fantasy; so far, evidence suggests it just turns them into lesbians. Or back into the arms of their ex.
Ouch, harsh. I am sorry to hear that. Well if the Dykes on Bikes ever need a recruitment drive, I am sure they will call you to turn a few more women to their cause.
>_>
Wow that was meaner than I intended but I stand by it regardless.
I had a bizarre and unreasonable attraction to Jessica Simpson for a while. I simply have no idea why, since I hate superficial blondes with a fiery passion.
Please…you don’t really think she got to where she is with her brains, do you?!?
FAP … FAP … FAP … FAP …
Final Average Pay? Again?
…Failed At Posting…perhaps?
…Fine Art Photography?
…Fresno Airport Police?
…Friendly Armadillo People?
Frequent Anal Poster ?
Fairies Adjudicating People?
Any amount of attractiveness is overwhelmed by her vapidity. For me at least…
Amen – Gimme a woman who gives good mind…
Hahaha…do you think you can hear the “wooosh” of air escaping from her ears while she’s giving head?
I would be afraid she would forget what she was doing and bite down thinking she was under attack.
That and I’ve had bad experiences with blondes so I am superstitious about them now. I am sticking to brunnettes and redheads now.
Try using some fabric softener in the wash…maybe some cling-free sheets in the dryer…
Cling free… Now that would be a good thing. I still have one that haunts me from time to time on the interwebz.
It seems as though she’s lost interest. Was it something we
said?
Nah, I explained it in another thread. She will withdraw when she either catches up on her medication or when she really feels foolish. Or she realizes that she is being obsessive and goes into a self hating bender thus leaves to prove she isn’t obsessed.
Luckily, it usually means I am free of her on that site from then on. Took forever for her to vanish from Gaia.
We seem to be on a roll. “Troll A” and “Troll B” both
seem to have crept off.
*crosses fingers, knocks on wood*
*knocks on wood as well*
Hot Bod
Room Temp IQ
You wouldn’t want the body to melt…
as an addendum: I’ve seen her body. Eating pies would be a good thing. She looks like a 12 year old boy with implants…
Yes… That’s even creepier than having the eyes enlarged. She definitely wouldn’t make good human brautwurst..
But would have enough sillicone to seal an aquarium…
And then we can eat the fish!
Poor fishies… Sealed in stupid, eaten before they could evolve into pandas. I shall miss them.
Pass the sauce dammit! I’s HUNGRY!
*passes sauce to DWN*
Delectable collection, I must say.
Yes, yes indeed. Thanks love.
*snuggle*
Meh, she’s got hips and a butt, which is more than you can say for 75% of the rest of those chickies out there in Hwd.
Heidi Montag certainly looks like a million bucks, but there obviously ain’t nothing happening between those ears …
Sure there is! There’s always the echo. Or, as somebody pointed out above, if you put your ear up to her head, you can hear the ocean!
There’s not more work there than 3000 USD + labour. You’d be lucky to get $10 for glue and parchment rendering that skeleton down…
You’d make more money pimping her out. Not all perverts have the wherewithall to fly to Southeast Asia every time the mood strikes.
She’d have to have a dick…
Oh, yeah–the reach-around crowd…
Better to off her then, and cut your losses.
Okay, that mental image actually scarred me. Nice to have you back Uncle Fester.