Hello… USA? Yea… this is China… your loan is due
Hello… USA? Yea… this is China… your loan is due
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: tankrunner1123
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That’s fine. Hey, are we going to get credit for all the lead painted toys and the melamine laced milk that you have been sending us?
No one forced you to buy those. And there was no return policy.
But I have a receipt…
Sorry you can only return it if there is a fault with the good. We intended to put the poison in it.
Doesn’t matter. 1, we asked for those toys and milk, and 2, yea is pronouced YAY like Yea or Nay when voting. Yeah is the word you were looking for, tankrunner1123. Better luck next time
We explicitly checked the “No Poison” box on the order form, though. That ought to at least be good for some store credit!
No, we looked at the form, you checked “very cheap”.
Actually, it was “Dirt Cheap” you checked.
I think we should just be happy with the nice calendar they sent…
But it’s for 2007, and written in Mandarin! That’s it, I’m alerting the BBB.
Well, sure, but the pictures are pretty…
*listens to n8’s side of the BBB conversation*
Well that was worthless… they transferred me around and around until I finally ended up at the Wal-Mart customer service line. Bastards…
You guys ever notice that the current Wal-Mart logo looks like a big yellow anus? That’s some truth-in-advertising for ya…
“You Americans can just make your deposit at the nearest Walmart! Sai Chen !”
*half-way listens to n8’s rant*
*gazes hypnotically at the pretty calendar pictures*
Where’s my money b*tch?
( mentally pictures film of Stewie beating Bryan for not having his money)
I totally almost said that.
What happened to you China? You used to be cool!
We still cool! China still cool! You pay later! LATER!!
OH NO !
I was just coming to post these two quotes !
Came for Simpsons reference, left satisfied
You’re cool? Ah, yes, it’s the bubble you live in. Most people outside of the USA think different about you.
Try looking at the LOL, re-reading n8’s comment, in the context that it
is answering Pheemz’s comment. Check your ‘tude, and open your
mind. You may just laugh…
(Hint: It’s called a “joke.”)
The guy in the photo looks Japanese to me, for some reason.
I see your point, but it is so hard to tell when it is blurry and there is a caption in the way.
I’m being harsh, but the previously noted spelling fail, along with your notice
of the caption size fail and photo quality, tilt this one into the “meh”
category for me.
I’m with you on both points.
Update: scum-bot IDed him as Alberto Fujimori, Peruvian/Japanese
president of Peru 1990–2000.
… How the hell did that happen?
Somebody loved somebody else long time.
If we call the trade deficit due, they owe US.
Yeah. I like that. I think I’ll call my bank right now, and make them pay me the
balance of my mortgage…
Trade deficit = amount of stuff we buy from them, (a lot) vs. amount of stuff they buy from us (not much at all.)
Ergo, China’s cash outflow to us vs our cash outflow to them. We sink money into cheap chinese goods, which is why their economy grows, which is why they can lend us money.
Or something. It’s not important. This shit’s supposed to be funny. Seriousness fail.
Doesn’t work the same way. Trade deficit means our outflow to them, not the other way around. We’re pumping money into their economy by buying all their cheap lead-lined chintz.
Hey, those lead-lined chintz curtains I bought at WalMart really keep out the sun! Not to mention the radiation. ;o)
*dons foil hat, and hides out with Diss*
*offers Diss a foil hat, and hot cocoa*
Ooh, thanks, rho!
*adjusts foil hat*
Got marshmallows?
*pops open a fresh back of rainbow mini marshmallows*
Awesome!
*balances checkbook on end of pencil*
See? It’s easy!
*drops checkbook into cocoa*
*watches in envy, as checkbook sinks to the bottom*
Hey! How’d you do that? Mine always floats…
*has a sad*
Well, the red ink weighs more, you know.
*has a broke*
*hugs; makes shadow puppets for Diss*
Hey Diss, your problems are over!!
*shows Diss checkbook freshly lifted from
Slaggingham’s pocket*
Marry him–He’s a MILLIONAIRE!!
Please tell me someone else balances your checkbook for you.
I’d think that the US would want to avoid getting into another pointless, expensive war, though. That would just add to our debts, and after something like that, do you think anyone else would lend to us? No way.
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Everyone in the world stage hates us enough already, anyway.
Indeed, if China says that, and the money flow stops (China’s funds makes up a decent portion of the total money lended), they need the rest simply for keeping the country from collapsing. They couldn’t finance a war vs China. A what a nice world we live in.
Um, China actually only makes up 6% of total US public debt. The largest creditor is also the US itself, not a foreign power. only 25% of US total debt is owed to foreign countries anyway.
And the funny thing is; France, Germany, Canada, Italy, Japan… all these countries have larger public debt as a % of GDP than the US does.
You can’t say it without cites, because we dont’ believe you
Cite it, dear.
I agree with froofrou…
(Woah! Did I just type that?)
I agree with her too, but I feel so…dirty…
Are the cat’s eyes watering again, rho?
Yes, and they’ve rolled back in her head…
Poor kitty!
Dirty is a good start.
“You need to get a lot cleaner and you… need to get a little dirty and somewhere in the middle… Well you’ll figure it out.”
And as always, XKCD has a funny appropriate to the situation–link in name.
You’re right about the debt to GDP ratio thing, so long as you only use the CIA of International Monetary Fund sourced numbers. If you use numbers sourced from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, the US has a higher debt:GDP than any of those countries except Japan. Click my name for a the Wikipedia list of countries by debt:GDP. The thing is that the other countries you named aren’t about to add $1 trillion+ to their debt this year as the US is. Here in Canada our budget deficit is likely to run in the range of US$25 billion. The American economy is roughly ten times the size of Canada’s in terms of nominal GDP, so that a US$25 billion deficit in Canada is equivalent to a $250 billion deficit in the US.
D’oh. Forgot to put in the URL. Now click my name.
Not funny! Too Soon!!!!111!!111!!
But loan says you pay now! Pay now!
But but… Can I just love you long time? I have Arex Barwrin in my basement?
Say, ‘Blackthorn’…
Or “Gorrilla”
You pay back now! And with that you get fortune cookie!!
*cracks open fortune cookie*
*reads: You pay back now!*
Sonnofab!tch!
ROFLMAO!!!
Fortune cookie, FTW!!!
*raises CW’s boxing gloved hand*
Thank you for choosing Chinese Financial Aid Solutions, where if you think
no one cares, try missing a few payments….
Too true.
… in bed?
Let me see… “You pay now – in bed.”
Hey, it works beautifully. With a penis, even!
they do? then how come i can never understand a damn word when i need customer service?
EXACTLY! I talked to someone in Mumbai for Apple support and I couldn’t understand a word he said. AND he had the audacity to say he couldn’t understand me because of my country accent.
Dealing with customer service in non English speaking countries brings out racism in me. I deal with outsourced people and the things I have to explain them just drive me nuts. Let alone having to talk to them. I either wish pain on them or wish I spoke whatever language they have over there just to get things done faster.
I just can’t see how it is cheaper/more/effective/etc when they end up having to work through things more than once because they don’t catch what needs to be done the first time. Seems to just cause more work and customers HATE talking to them.
*explain to them. Ugh. English fail.
*deports self*
Come back!!!
Sorry, I was killed by pirates during my departure.
I’m hiding from the clowns…Evil clowns..
Aw, f*ck me, there’s clowns?!?
*Hides under desk, armed with big stapler*
I’ve never understood clown-fear. That said…
Can’t sleep, clown’ll eat me… Can’t sleep, clown’ll eat me…
I was having one of those dreams where you think you’re falling a great distance, at my grandma’s house. She decorated the entire room with clowns. I bounced on the bed and a clown coin bank, that had been sitting on the headboard, lands on my eye (blacks it by the way) and I wake up to this creepy Ronald McDonald looking statue right in my face.
*shudders*
To this day I avoid that room like the plague.
I hope it’s a Swingline, preferably red!
You wouldn’t want it to bind up on you when you need it most…
Swingline? I guess they’re good for beating clowns with, but
for stapling, I prefer the PaperPro. Best. Staplers. Evah.
Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler.
Rhorho, we’re gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B.
Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still haven’t received my paycheck and he took my stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it…
Since you’re already down here, it would be great if you could get a can
of pesticide and take care of the cockroach problem we’ve been having
in here.
I can’t…Excuse me. I believe you have my stapler?
*eats cake*
*turns out light while leaving*
Well, I hate it too. I get very angry when one of them picks up, but really most people just hang up and therefor their customer service isn’t tarnished. I just laugh my ass off when I see that Sprint or AT&T has great customer service. I can’t stand talking to them!
i think i have a knack for trying to understand different accents, i’ve never been too bothered by it, but it is strange trying to explain to someone you can’t understand, a problem you can’t understand. What get’s me the most is if I have a problem I have to wait until american business hours. I’m never home during american business hours, if we’re going to outsource can we please have 24/7 service
I used to work til midnight at a call center so I know it can’t be hard to find night shift people.
well it is night over there when it’s 9-5 here, but we can’t have service when it’s light over there, that would be silly >.> i rather dislike business hours. I can understand if the service is in the country the business hours conform to, but internationally it’s a load of crock in my opinion
Somehow that went right over my head. I must lack caffeine. Please reiterate for my failed brain cells this morning.
I’m not communicating very well this morning so i’ll go slow for my sake to make sure I got it all. There are business hours here in the US because there are certain hours that people work, normally 9-5. When i had some tech trouble. I had to wait until the next day on my lunch break because the tech support only operated from 9-5. This would make sense if if was US based, but it’s outsourced to India where our 9-5 is really quite late for them. It bugs me that we are outsourcing labor to a place several time zones over, and still keeping 9-5 hours to call because 1. they are inconvient and 2. it makes more sense to me that if the people are going to work at odd hours in their time zone, it may as well be a 24 hour service
Ah, fail on me. I getcha. If they are going to outsource anyway, they shouldn’t keep hours in which those poor folks would have to be up at an ungodly time to answer ya. If they are going to keep 9-5 hours anyway, might as welll keep it in the states.
Double fail on me for not reading it right the first time.
A lot of times I fervently wish I could interpret Indian accents better. I go to at least one technical conference a year where at least a few interesting sessions are presented by smarter-than-feck Indians. I’d probably get a lot more out of those sessions if I wasn’t mentally two sentences behind!
I have to say this: I was on the phone for 2:05 with an Indian.
The problem was intense, but he never lost patience, or
stopped trying. He was patient to repeat himself, or put some-
thing in different words, and was exceedingly nice. Sure, the
language barrier wasn’t ideal, but his attitude more than made
up for it.
I have to agree with your smarter-than-feck assessment in
his case, with a generous dollop of nicer-than-feck on top.
i’m never angry with those that answer, they’ve all been very kind and i know it’s not their fault, they just wanted a job. it is annoying though to deal with an accent many arnt used to, and trying to fix a problem where they dont really understand what’s going on in the first place
One of those hate the situation, not the people things.
This whole strand made me laugh in memory of an attempted phone conversation between my immigrated-from-viking-land father and my friend’s immigrated-from-Korea father. They both spoke very good American English, but they couldn’t understand each other at all! They both ended up putting the daughter on the phone… (face-to-face worked fine at graduation, though!)
India-through-the-phone has never been a problem for me, probably because I’ve got a real soft spot for the place and the people (Mum and Dad were born in the same military hospital in Pune – Empire kids – and my grandmother pretty well grew up in Government House in Bombay). One day I’m just going to go. But Indian “Engrish” is the best.
My favorite bit of outsourcing is the guy in Georgia, I think, who is outsourcing the order taker at fast food restaurant drive throughs. You pull up, give your order to someone in India who probably doesn’t even eat beef, they type it into a computer, and you get your food. If they can pull this off, there’s gonna be a lot more service sector jobs lost here.
*jaw drops, eyes unfocus*
Back in 1952 Walt Kelly – author of Pogo – thought it was a hilarious far-fetched bit to invent the drive-through funeral parlor. You, sir, sound like a modern day Walt Kelly trying out your bits of humor here.
Tell me you aren’t serious!
It would be nice if it were only about money. According to Reuters, The U.S. trade deficit with China cost 2.3 million American jobs between 2001 and 2007.
Eh, America controls world finance…
If you discount the debt, America could easily finance a war with China…
Besides, a war on that scale would be a massive economic boost for the US, given that China doesn’t have the capabilities to win. Having two nice big seas on either side of you, and a massive navy, give you Yanks a massive advantage.
Horse Sh!t.
Thank FSM at least one Republican gets it. China has all the military it needs to bring the fight to America, not to mention piles and piles of money (the fuel of war.) Not to mention the fact that China has financed our current two wars… if we give them the finger and get in a fight with them, who’s going to finance THAT war!?
Moreover, China could simply sell our debt to enemy nations and throw
us into economic chaos on the scale that would make our current
recession look like having trouble breaking a $100 bill.
In bed… Not that I have any experience in the matter. >_>
Ya, loan crap is what I have to slog through everyday. Don’t dick with your creditors unless you have a good lawyer that doesn’t require your creditor to pay. In this case our lawyer would be bullets and China pays for those…
Yaaaaaaa, let’s not do that.
China would freely give us bullets…
“used” ones, with lead paint coating, that is.
With a penis at that… Great, now I am going to have nightmares about bullet spitting penis guns. @_@
I get those, but they’re not nightmares…hmm.
That would be a problem and I suggest a physician.
I think that moreover suggests Rhorho likes it rough… REALLY rough.
I know a guy in Thailand who could rig you up…
*counts the number of words that caused post delay*
Wow, you got your money’s worth!
We would totally fail toe-to-toe with the Chinese, but they’re
smart enough to stay out of crazy conflicts. Considering the
difference in government systems, the Chinese are better able
to harness resources and redirect national focus than we are.
Your ally question is food for thought. Both nations are inter-
woven economically, so the destruction of either would lead
to the economic crippling of most. It would be hard to argue
either way in that regard.
Both nations are also UN Security Council members, with veto
power that would circumvent any “just going along with
the rest” claims the smaller nations might otherwise make.
Perhaps I’m too cynical to believe that national leaders pay a
lot of attention to the right and wrong of a conflict. It seems
like, on the world stage, the push is more towards betting on
the horse that will likely win.
Not like there is any point on betting on the side that will lose anyway… Least if you bet on who is left, you are still in the game with a possibility to perhaps shift the board a bit. However that is way more coldhearted and logical than I like to be so I shall say…
Horse likely to win… In bed… With Catherine the Great.
I do hope not draft horses! Ow!!!
Heh, she is a tough girl. Doesn’t want no ponies up in there.
Oh yes, dictatorships are a rather efficient way of governing people…I think that is indeed a vulnerability though. If it really was a one on one war with China and the USA we would have the advantage that if we took out the leader we’d have an easier time taking over their government than vice versa.
I agree that it would be easier to organize people who
are already organized. We’re not having very much fun
trying to organize Iraq, to be sure, and Afghanistan is,
well, Afghanistan. Frankly, I hope we don’t think that
organizing other countries is our job in the future.
Perhaps we would do better organizing ourselves.
For fun and musing, here are some population estimates:
China …………. 1,330,044,544
U.S. ……………… 303,824,640
Iraq ……………….. 28,221,180
Afghanistan ……… 32,738,376
California ………… 36,553,215
Texas …………….. 23,904,380
Is that right? Lawks – there’s more people in Texas than the whole of my country! (21, 007, 310)
I don’t hear people say that TX is overcrowded, so you can imagine the population-density here. It certainly has made some long-term strategists nervous that there are two countries with a billion-plus just nearby, busting at the seams, which our citizens in their wisdom treat with barely-concealed contempt. China? India? That’s where takeaway food and cheap clothes come from…
I remember some sci-fi book or other started with China winning a war with America without firing a shot: it made all American intellectual property available for free downloads from Chinese servers. Instant economic collapse in the US.
Wacky… *plots*
With the economic opportunities that present itself in such a war, private industry would be tripping over itself to invest…
Yes, rich people still have money.
They’re just not investing it or lending it to business, hence the credit crisis.
China’s military is a joke, I’m sorry.
Most of their military equipment is still aging, and if the US went to war,
the oil would dry up and the European arms wouldn’t arrive.
They have shitloads of men, and a massive, but crap airforce.
The US Navy would have the Chinese Navy in a few days if it came to a
confrontation.
Korea is an outdated example, both sides had comparable technology.
The US don’t even need pilots for their bombers anymore…..
Compared with the military might of the US (never mind if its NATO), China would get RAPED.
China would have to be the aggressor for us not to have the entire world turn on us. Especially since nobody would want to help us financially and those private investors have just as much chance to want to leave the country as they do to want to invest in a war.
You know… That whole will of the people bit.
As big of a flag-waving, patriotic Republican, I’m also not an idiot. I know better than to get into a war that can’t be won. Did you watch the Olympics this year? All of those people doing that amazing opening ceremony were CIVILIANS. Do you think the military is any less well-trained? Also, they have been known to brag that they can mobilize an army of nearly a billion rather quickly if necessary. The Chinese aren’t stupid. They know they have the USA by the short hairs, and are quite happy to keep us there. We may rail and scream and go wage war where we please, but China has to make one phone call and we’re neck deep in it. Don’t be stupid, please.
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Also, do you not think that Russia would jump at the chance to join China against the United States? Do you not think North Korea, Pakistan, and whatever’s left of Afghanistan would join in a war against the United States? We’d get creamed. Mainly because we know for a fact that three out of the four countries I just mentioned have nuclear capabilities and nut jobs with their fingers hovering wildly over the red button.
Hovering wildly over the red button… That is a humorous image until reality makes my blood run cold.
Froo, Russia likes its existence too much (never mind its trade links with the EU)..
The concept of MAD between the US and Russia still exists.
It is very doubtful in the case of China (’cause their missiles are dodgy).
Furthermore, it doesn’t matter how disciplined an army is, if it is as green as the Chinese army is, if it has inferior equipment, a massively outnumbered and outgunned navy, its supply of oil is cut off and its trading partners isolated.
It would have to be Chinese aggression that brings about such a war however, as international support on the US side, particularly in Europe, would be crucial.
Does that tinfoil hat cut off circulation, or did you get it custom fitted?
I agree that china has a lot to be wary off, we’d never make it going alone, but if china did start with the aggression, we would have a lot of allies on our side as well. It would come down to the third world war i think. The superpowers of the world would start picking sides, as soon as nukes come into the picture it would be a bloodbath and ‘the end of ze world’
In the end it is a stand off between giants. China would have trouble if they started sh!t with the US and the US would be in deep if they started sh!t with China.
See, that’s a good statement. But trying to fool yourself into thinking that China will never attack us or even think about attacking us or making any untoward moves against us simply because they have aging equipment, massively outnumbered, or are outgunned is to fool yourself into thinking that the sky is pink. That’s what Crazy Irishman has done. China is a superpower, as you’ve said. They would have no trouble waging war on anyone, should they choose to.
Ya, I think superpower kills a lot of his argument.
Fire zee missiles!
But I am Le tired….
Well… have a nap.. ZEN FIRE ZEE MISSILES!
An advantage that easily overcome by ICBM’s.
Not to be confused with IBM, ICP, BM’s or TCBY.
ICBM’s? Are you talking about the outhouse on a winter’s day?
Excellent plan, it’s not like the US couldn’t beat some tiny guys living in burrows with pointy sticks, go for a war with China, I’m sure you’ll do great
Uh, no, you do NOT want to get in a shooting war with China. We tried it once, it was called the Korean war. China does have the wherewithal to fight us to a standstill, and quite possibly kick our asses. Especially now that we’ve worn ourselves out trying to pacify Afghanistan and Iraq. Rah-rah flag waving is all well and good, but try not to believe ALL the hype.
Old news. Everybody knows you never get involved in a land war in Asia.
But even less known is never go in against a Sicilian when Death is on the line!!!
Ya, Death always puts me on hold. Has crappy music too.
Im sick and tired of Slayer’s Cover of “The Girl from Impanema”.. Death needs
some more… traditional music tastes.
Ain’t this Alberto Fujimori (As in, not chinese)
I mentioned earlier that I thought he looked Japanese. I think you’re right!
Thank you, scummy!
Before I get slammed, he’s Peruvian/Japanese.
There’s a turning Japanese song joke in there somewhere.
I really think so.
*awards one and a half internets*
*applauds gleefully*
FFFFUUUUUUUUU-
We’d be on the receiving end of the massacre, since we can’t build our missiles without parts made in Japan. I’m pretty sure we import a lot of our materiel, actually.
China and Japan are different countries…
Also, I work for a defense contractor, and it’s illegal for us to buy materials from China. We are only allowed to purchase US produced steel/aluminum/etc.
Yeah, I meant to say china; no excuse for typing the wrong country. Failure: ME!
The vast majority of our national debt is owed to Federal Reserve Bank, not to foreign countries.
Oh? And where does the fed get this money FROM???
They date a lot of older men…
OOOHH , Sorry, I forgot that part. *facepalm*
How could you forget? I was scarred by the knowledge…
It doesnt help that I keep using the video footage of said knowledge spliced
into DWN’s wedding video to Fed Reserve-roll him.
Yike – just had a picture of Bernanke in bed with Greenspan.
(*~@)
Funny you should draw the comparison. In my
mind’s eye, Australia is like Texas, only with
better beaches, cooler animals and fewer illegal
aliens…
Now, what does “lawks” mean? Is it a sweet way
to say Unc’s favorite word (bollocks)? Is it a play
on “larks?” Are there three bears involved?
“Lawks” is probably something best asked of Unc, actually. It’s certainly nothing circulating around in our lingua franca.
Off the top o’ me ‘ead… lawks is a word that would have replaced “Lord” as an exclamation (remembering the Commandment about not taking the name of the Lord in vain), much like “gosh”, “golly”, “strewth” (it’s God’s truth), “crikey” (God strike me if I’m lying) etcetera. The avoidance of the Deity’s name certainly has lingering effects.
Involvement of three bears is probably courtesy of Terry Pratchett (someone will quote Nanny Ogg in “Witches Abroad” here, I’m sure).
I must admit that comparisons between Texas and Australia will have to wait for direct obsevation – I’m down to mind’s eye, and I’m sure the thought of Froofrou commuting on her gun-racked horse (her idea, not mine) isn’t helpful. I’ve gotta come over.
Stetsons off to you for discovering PK’s secret hiding place for my comment!
My grandmother used to say “Lands,” but had no idea why. It may have
been “Lord’s hands” at one time, but it beats the h-e-double-hockey-sticks
out of me…
My favorite is “dern.” Is “darn” too close to “d@mn?”
I’ve read that “gadzooks” is a contortion of “God’s hooks,” or the nails used
on the cross. Conversely, when the term “good bye” was first used, it was considered to be a blasphemous shortening of the phrase “God be with you.”
Thank you for the references to “strewth” and “crikey.” Those were new
to me, and fun!
If you venture this way, I have an extra room, and my cats do a good job
of keeping the Baptists out of the yard. Most of our gun racks are confined
to pickup trucks, and froo lives far enough away to pose no immediate
threat. The majority of us have avoided the death penalty, so you can put
that thought out of your mind, mostly…
PK has nommed away at some witty postings this mornin’ – I found your comment by accident
*Admires Stetson anyway, thank’ee*
Mate, if that shoulder-angel delivery service is up n’ running, I’ve got the Red Bull…
*but the sun’s just risen, so I’m off for a quick surf*
OMG that would just end America. BTW how many states do you think that they could bye of us now?
Saudi Arabia has dibs on getting their money out first. But which country has the more LOATHSOME human rights record ??
Does it matter? You’re pwned either way… those pesky bonds…