Keepin’ ya safe… @ 12.5 mph
Keepin’ ya safe… @ 12.5 mph
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picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: zhuk
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Lllll. on Pentagon launches $200 million… Lllll. on Pentagon launches $200 million… Lllll. on Pentagon launches $200 million… Lllll. on Pentagon launches $200 million… Lllll. on Pentagon launches $200 million… eddiepscetti on ROLE MODEL Lllll. on Pentagon launches $200 million… Lllll. on Pentagon launches $200 million… Lllll. on Pentagon launches $200 million… Lllll. on Pentagon launches $200 million…
weird :S
I wanna see the effects of recoil on those things!
So do I! I wonder how many try to fire, then it kicks them backwards, and they roll right into their ally.
They have a rather powerful gyroscope inside, so I’m thinking not so much.
It’s still a very weird idea though.
no hands! look guys no hands!
Autos really don’t have that much of a kick, unless you’re not trained to use it, then you can get the embarrassing ‘vertical spray’. The recoil, in the hands of a trained operator, in fully auto mode probably wouldn’t affect a Segway that badly.
TBH, I’d not care to ride one of those things in a riot/urban warfare situation, since it just seems a good way of getting knocked off it and then brained with it by the mob…
Except that the way we handle the recoil depends on standing on something solid that absorbs the recoil via our torsos, thru the legs and feet. If you fire an SMG in full auto from a Segway, you’re going right over on your @$$. That said, those dinky squirt guns probably don’t recoil a whole lot.
I wouldn’t care to be standing upright on a Segway (adds some height!) in a firefight… Can’t dodge, can’t duck. If you’re a thinking Segway-cop, you’ll hop off the damn thing, use it for cover, and thank the suckers who stay on them for drawing fire!
Also, formation fail noted here: Who wants to be in front of a guy flailing
to keep his balance while firing?
Had you noticed some of the guns they are holding? The foreground guns look like glorified Stens, but in the back ground… YEEESH!
One appears to have a fixed bayonet, fer Christ’s sake… (I know it’s an optical illusion, but I can’t place the type of gun properly – the green thing second right at back of picture) and another appears to have an AK variant (first left), so you’re right. The kick on those would just throw you on your back.
You just have to lean forward harder…
Meet the newest private contractor bidding for work in Iraq… Shriner Security.
(Now this would make a FANTASTIC Dead Kennedys album cover!)
wondering about teeny weeny rifle/pistol combo weapon. haven’t we seen this pic before?
still funny.
Regarding the small automatic weapons — I don’t think, looking at them, that those are the mini-Uzi’s, but I think it’s something similar. And, quite honestly, with something like that, I don’t think size matters much when you’re firing upwards of 900 rounds per minute.
The math may work on that 900 rounds per minute thing, but it irritates the crap out of me when I hear the main justification for the banning of assault and fully automatic weapons being ‘it will fire 600 rounds per minute’. You’d blow your gun up if you did that. Sure, it fires 10 rounds per second, and that works out to be 600 per minute, but you HAVE to squeeze and release, squeeze and release (shut up, DWN) so that the gun will KEEP firing. The barrel heats up exponentially with every round that goes through it, since it IS gunpowder that propels the round out.
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You aren’t going to get 600 rounds a minute from a machine gun. You will be lucky to get 300.
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Like I said, there are a bunch of other reasons that are much better to use as justifications for banning assault rifles that don’t include faulty reasoning and bad math. (and yes, I am aware that I changed the fire rate from Diss’s original 900 back down to 600, because unless I’m forgetting something (like a 50 caliber truck mounted gun), there isn’t one that will fire 900 RPM)
Not anything I’ve ever fired personally, but the specs indicate that the mini-uzi does 900 rpm and the micro even higher. (see link, I don’t know how accurate that is, but that’s what google gave me.) But, yeah, like you said, you can’t actually fire for a continuous minute; it’s just how many rounds you’d mathematically fire if you could. Like you said.
)
I wonder how many rounds the magazine would hold before you’d have to reload? Surely the thing isn’t fed like a truck mounted 50cal?
Something to remember about the Uzi – it’s not limited to bullet rounds, but can fire flechettes. They close pack, and don’t heat the gun as rapidly as normal rounds. Also, you can get the Uzi back to ‘operational’ temp pretty quickly, having seen demos where they straight fired 5 clips (no jams), dumped it in a bucket of water, hauled it out and straight fired another 8 clips… with no jams.
It’s a great little gun – tolerant of sand, mud, water, being dropped. Comes convenional metal, ceramic, and I heard they’d done one using a melamine derivative plastic. Pops 9mm rounds, or flechettes, and is less prone to misfire than the M series in the US and the UK SA80s… in the case of the SA80, stick it somewhere hot, dry and sandy too long and, even with religious cleaning, a lot of the time, you have the worlds most over engineered club.
Damn, Fester, you know a lot about automatic weapons!
*is impressed*
I read about the Uzi on Wikipedia (was watching Miami Vice).
The Uzi is all but discontinued, but was one of the best weapons out there, inexpensive and reliable, and developed in a minimum amount of time. Similar to the original Jeep. Developed in 45 days, and the soldiers loved ‘em. Cause they freaking worked!
Is there any other inventions out that like that?
AK47, which is similar. It’s a solid gun, almost no kick, easy to keep clean, and is so simple to use that small children in the Middle East are taught to shoot the enemies with them. It’s sick. But it is a good gun.
AK47, which is similar. It’s a solid gun, almost no kick, easy to keep clean, and is so simple to use that small children in the Middle East are taught to shoot the enemies with them. It’s sick. But it is a good gun.
Across most of Africa, actually. Most urban wars in fact, irrespective of the politco-religious nature of the conflict. Only the most PR savvy terrorist organisation (read the IRA and their proddy counterparts) never had child ’soldiers’, at least publicly.
If one gun reinvented the face of guerilla warfare in the 20th Century it’s the Kalashnikov. It went from being a man in his 20s to being an 8 year old boy.
Minor flaw in this… it ain’t an Uzi of any flavorl; The SMGs clearly have the magazine ahead of the grip. Uzis all have the magazine inserted into the grip.
Fester is quite correct that the Uzis are fabulous weapons; Never heard of them firing flechette, but it’s certainly possible. Darn inventive, those Israelis
I encountered the flechette variant back in 86-87.
I knew at least one ZA security expert who was almost orgasmic about the damn things… I don’t know they ever left Israeli Mil hands legally.
What I said in the first place was that I didn’t think it was an Uzi, but looked like something similar. So, any idea what it is?
)
They look like mp 40s but the guy closest to the cam has
something on top like an upgraded iron sight. If they are mp 40s
i have no idea why they are using them when they should be able
to get much better weapons
Ur so hawt rite naow…
*gets the camera* Tell us Jane…. how hawt?
All valid points… but unless you’re heavily into lethal force for crowd control (which does make those Kindergarten picnics, school runs, and Church pot-lucks a lot more interesting) there’s not much of a legitimate need to be able to fire more than one bullet with a single trigger pull. In hunting, if you’re going for bear you use a gun with the power to stop a bear… In the 19th C there were single shot guns that could stop a rogue bull elephant; the trusty 1 bore – could leave you with permanent nerve damage in the shoulder, and you had to time it right so the elephant’s head was thrown up, otherwise you just upset it, rather than killed it… 1 bore is a lead sphere that weighs in at 1lb, for the uninitiated.
If you’re hunting, you don’t need more than one shot unless you’re a really bad hunter. And even if you ARE a really bad hunter, one shot is all you’re conceivably going to get, unless the animal is charging you as slow as the steamroller on A Fish Called Wanda. You aren’t going to spray the animal or surrounding (forest, desert, brush, insert hunting terrain here) in order to get it. Half the fun of hunting is being good enough to only use one shot.
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The only reason a lot of people I know dislike the ban on assault rifles is because they feel that regular guns are next. Also, the only real reason for wanting an assault rifle is just to have one to say you have one. There is no legitimate need for them unless you’re taking over a small dictatorship with three guys who target practice out behind their house while drinking beer and b*tching about ‘them damn Messicans who keep takin our jobs’.
They tuk yer jyorb!
Terk a Dur!
Derka derka, derka jihad.
“Also, the only real reason for wanting an assault rifle is just to have one to say you have one.”
*gasps and points*
She admitted it! See, she’s a right wing nut and she admitted it! Rho, get the rule book, I’m unsure how we should proceed here.
I do believe correct protocol is to give hugs and cookies…. and it just so
happens… *whips out a silver platter of freshly baked cookies* I brought
the party.
Well, I suppose hugs and cookies go with any occassion… *snatches cookie*
*grabs a cookie*
*runs away laughing*
Why, thank you, Max!
*takes a cookie*
*reads rule book*
…wait, no…uh…hmm…see here…
Evidently, froo is the first right wing nut to admit nuttitude,
EVAR, so we’re just going to have to wing it here…
*holds cookie up*
Here’s to froo: An outcast in the eyes of the Conservative
Christian Right, but a regular PK, uh, Irregular!
Lets get her some metamucil! Wait……
*stops speech*
You mean we could pull tricks on her, to make up for
all of the right-wing spews we’ve had to bathe off of
ourselves?
Oh! *giggles* This sounds like fun…
*wipes Left-wing anti-religious, anti-guns, anti-Capitolistic goo off left shoulder*
Wait, what?
My precious goo!
Hey, wait…some of that goo’s mine…
And in my defense, Im not anti guns or religious… I just dont want
the guns and religion telling me what to do
I could tell you your religion with a gun, hehe.
You can also lead a horse to water…. Muah!
From your comment, it’s clear that you got
*all* of the goo off…
Do you have Republi-Teflon™ skin?
*dips froo’s fingers in bowl of warm water
while she’s distracted*
*flicks water at rho*
*give Max his goo back*
*giggles because Max doesn’t know that the goo she gave back is mixed with a semi-sentient form of Republi-Goo ™ that will adhere to his brain and begin making him believe that GWB GOOOOOOOD, Democrat BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD*
Oh noes! Froo is a diabolically evil, insanely
unfair, vicious Republican, who works to
destroy all that is good and decent!!
Oh wait…That’s right. Carry on, then.
I do have a reputation to uphold!
Oddly enough, I don’t see just wanting to have one as a bad reason to have one… I have swords for the same reason. I do believe in harsh penalties for crimes committed with heavier weapons but I don’t believe they should be banned. Just licensed, etc etc.
Amazingly, you have my total agreement here. Anything that can and should be regulated, can and should be licensed to those who have proven that they aren’t total idiots.
I’d agree with
You have to prove nominal competency to drive a car, I think something like that with guns.
I have more of a down on RCA and Warners than Capitol.
My REAL jihad, however, is Sony! A pox on them, telling me that I can’t play CD-Rs in my CD/DVD player, since it’s ‘pirate’ – A have a lot of original work by my friends (specifically, my oldest pal and his brother in law, who are both very talented musicians, and cut stuff for their own entertainment, and bt extension other indie musicians) If I was given the CD-R by the guy who wrote and performed the song, IT’S NOT PIRATE!!! Nipponese jack-booted profiteering scum…
Yeah, I caught the misspelling after I clicked ‘add comment’. Sorry
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And how do you feel about Death Row Records? A little death rap might do you some good.
Depends… if it has a good beat and I can whistle the hook, I can listen to it.
I wasn’t kidding about Sony, though… the b@st@rds…
We don’t mind the capitol; it makes a handy place to keep the politicians, so we can keep an eye on them.
Amen! The need to own an assault weapon is more down to doubt of phallus size than actual *need* (which engenders the paranoia about hunting irons, I assume)
I can admire the engineering of the automatic weapon in all its forms, but I really don’t feel the need to have one around the house. In fact, living in Trumpton (think of Mr Roger’s Neighbourhood, just lacking the edge of darkness and danger his neighbourhood had), I’ve not even got a hand gun (In the UK, getting a handgun permit is slightly easier than in New York City, post Giuliani, contrary to the myth. ‘Defendin ma haouse’ isn’t regarded as a valid reason over here either, but with a little invention one can come up with something… UKGOV like to make people think it’s a lot harder than it is.)
Considering where I live, a handgun or some variant is almost a necessity for home defense. I prefer a shotgun. 12 gauge. You won’t kill your neighbor if you live in close quarters, and there’s nothing like the ‘OMG’ factor of a criminal hearing a shell being pumped into the chamber in the dark. And even if you’re a horrible shot, you’re GOING to hit him.
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But, you can’t carry a shotgun easily in a vehicle, so there’s where the handgun comes in. Of course, it’s legal now to carry a loaded handgun in a vehicle without the need for a permit, so the license is merely a formality, and allows me to pack my 9mm into places with me.
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And assault rifle has no business outside of a serious gun collector’s gun safe, to be shown off at Christmas to his buddies.
Another ZA ’security expert’ I used to drink with used to say something very similar in his ‘domestic defence’ courses.
“Some people speak English, some speak Dutch, some speak Afrikaans. THey all speak the sound of a shotgun being loaded”
I loves the shotgun. ^_^
I wonder how many times St. Bruce has been quoted when somebody gets a new boomstick.
Yes, I consider Bruce Campbell a saint as he has done more to reaffirm my faith in humanity than any religious icon. So shop smart… Shop S-Mart! YOU GOT IT?
Or as the cops here say ” When I pump the action on my shotgun, EVERYONE suddenly speaks English!” Or ” Even the roaches freeze and put their hands up!”
My buddy keeps on about the libruls wanting to steal his guns. “Without our guns, this will become a lawless nation! More guns means a more polite society! We wouldn’t have any more murders if everyone had a gun!” To which I reply, “You know what country has a rifle in every house? Iraq! Also Afghanistan, Somalia, and the Darfur. So what was your point again?”
Ummm… so does Switzerland – well, they used to. Does anyone know if that statute still hangs?
WITH. A. PENIS. ‘Tis said now.
Toooo-shaaaay. And quick, too!
The quick penis is mightier than
the slow sword.
Um. My wife says otherwise, but to each their own.
Girls seldom make passes
at men slow as molasses.
Switzerland has a radically different culture. They were the mercenaries of Europe, and unlike the Irish, had a lot more discipline about ‘bringing that crap home’. The whole phallus extension thing that seems to be part of the American zeitgeist (and the British one, being fair) seems to be lacking.
Culturally, the Swiss gun has all the significance of a hammer.. in the US it’s ‘got the whole ‘Give me freedom or give me death’ thing. In the UK it’s the whole ‘gangster’ chic… thus the view of a lot of my country men (and to a degree me included), if you need a gun to be ‘hard’, you never bloody well knew a real hard man. It’s like needing more than three people on one’s side to win a fight. You may ‘win’ but there’s a singular lack of kudos in needing two of your mates to hold someone down while you ‘win’ it…
Hello, in case of zombie attacks. You should always be prepared. Do you have your zombie survival strategy ready?
Gotta argue there, girl. My M-60 in the Army did 600 rpm no problem. And the 7.63 mini on the chopper did 6000 rpm (but would jam real easily).
The German MG 42 would fire 900 rpm but not for long.
The math works. The logistics, not so much. Did you honestly hold down the trigger for an entire minute? Thank you. And a mounted gun works a little differently than a hand held one that uses a magazine. You’re not going to fit 600 rounds in a mag.
yep- held it down until the barrel overheats and starts a runaway effect. Nope- never seen a 600 round clip. It would be Ginormous !!!
Exactly. So you might have held down the trigger until the barrel overheated and you had to stop and you emptied the clip, but you didn’t fire 600 rounds. Unless the thing was belt-fed. And you’re still going to overheat before you get to 600 rounds. The gun DID NOT fire 600 rounds in a minute. It just COULD.
There’s is 1000rpm electronically fired combat gun being developed, that does hold enough material for 3000 rounds (it actually makes the projectiles as it fires them…)
It’s probably about 10 years away from deployment, but the working (500 rpm) prototype looks a lot like the ‘Lawgiver’ from 2000AD’s Judge Dredd comic in the 1980s (it currently attached by an umbilical to a number of computers and a LARGE number of batteries)
God knows if it will ever REALLY go into the wild in its current form, but some of its features probably will (palm print operator identification is very nearly there, last I heard… that was mid-08, so I’m not up to date)
Heard of Metal Storm? They are a company that has developed an electroniccally fired, bullet stacking system. The bullets are all packed into the
barrels, end to end, like a roman candle. The rate of fire capable with these things is insane. It can put one bullet into motion before the last bullet has even left the barrel. The DX4 system, for instance, is a block of 200 barrels, each holding 10 bullets. It can put over 2,000 rounds into the target in much less than a second.
Laser of Lead. Wasn’t it an Aussie who came up with the idea in his garage? Lucky stiff… Wish I could come up with a death ray idea that the US would buy.
*sulks*
Oh yes, the Metal Storm devices are VERY close to deployment capability
There’s a vid of the 36 barrel prototype firing behind my name
They’re also working on an operator keyed handgun (less like the Lawgiver style prototype I saw) and a Metal Storm Mortar… (linked from the youtube)
1,000,000 rounds a second
That’s a bloody big magazine.
One downside of the Metal Storm Mortar… you wouldn’t be able to do the trick that Robert H Cain pulled at The Battle of Arnhem… he was killing tanks by firing a PIAT (effectively an Anti-Tank Mortar variant) from his hip while his men fell back. The Allies thought the Germans were lying about how their tanks were being destroyed. Wiki him up. He won the VC for that action…
His name doesn’t come up on Wiki…
Behind my name… Apparently he ‘never thought’ to mention his VC to his daughter, nor did it appear on his business cards…
I think that his action at Arnhem would warrant a ’sir’ in most dialects I know (and probably Klingon)
I would call him Sir definitely.
“At least there’s one officer here that shaved…”
That one is most assuredly a Sir.
Holy crap, Unc, I just read his wiki page (Robert Henry Cain) and that guy’s a true hero! Nearly had his face blasted off by a faulty PIAT exploding right out of the barrel, he refused morphine, and half an hour later when his sight came back he declared himself fit for duty and went back to stalking tanks on foot.
Manliness, he has it.
Ooooh, and humility. Didn’t even brag about his medal to his daughter. I rather like this man. Figures that cancer got him. Survived all that just to have his body kill him.
Indeed… According to men who at Arnhem, the allies were refusing to believe the German tank operators who claimed that a blackened giant wearing a beret and no trousers, wielding a Mortar had blown their tanks from under them…
You needed a lot of physical strength to fire a PIAT that way, let alone a 2inch mortar (the mortar design was never much bothered with ‘kick’)
For the interested – a link to a picture of the gentleman.
There was a VC awarded to a gent in the current nastiness just recently. He laid on a grenade to save his comrades, and survived.
As I’ve made no secret of, I’m no fan of this war, because it’s squandering many of our best in a fight that was only tangentially ours.
Final comment: I agree with George V when he stated
“The King feels so strongly that, no matter the crime committed by anyone on whom the VC has been conferred, the decoration should not be forfeited. Even were a VC to be sentenced to be hanged for murder, he should be allowed to wear his VC on the gallows.”
The bravery of the act that confers a VC cannot and should not be cancelled by anything subsequent or prior. It’s a reminder that, even in the meanest of us, there is a possibility of an honourable act.
Re-reading that… I don’t do many ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ posts… live it up…
Ummm what was I going to say that required my silence?
Egads, I have become a cliche’…
Is this serious?????
failcake lol failcakecake with a lolcake on top!!!!
Those handles are great to take cover behind!
Those guns look as if they where designed to shot rats!
So apparently, this was the 2008 Olympic Security Force (http://www.treehugger.com/files/2008/07/beijing_olympic_security_segways.php)
pew pew pew!
Q Q Q!
Toy guns, parade club drill team, not real soldier types.
This may be a joke, but we actually have these guys running security at the larger malls in my state.
Your mall security has automatic weapons?
Riiiiiiiight…
I saw a police officer riding a Segway in the middle of a huge crowd in the Amtrak station in Chicago. It was too effing weird.
I’ve seen them in Union Station! It’s so surreal. And doesn’t seem particularly effective.
Yea they are the security at Gurnee Mills -the mall where I go to when I am unfortunately forced to go there.
That sounds a bit Navy to me. Friends forcing friends to go to a crappy mall because there’s nothing else to do there unless you take the train to Chicago…
Well, it’s either go to Chicago or stay at home and get reeeeeeeally friendly with Jack daniel’s.
But remember Jose Cuervo is nobody’s friend…
No, that b@astard still owes me money.
THAT BASTARD!
He said he would call me. It’s been three weeks.
Do you think he’ll call???
I’ve been to the Gurnee mall- didn’t need an smg there like in Houston.
@rho.. Sorry darling. I’m afraid Jose won’t call. He is probably in mexico right now, drinking the mescal…
@Atlas The Gurnee Mills Mall sucks ass.
It’s the price of renting his product…
Nice Pratchett appearance – I thought that was in reference to Ankh-Morpork beer…
In deed it was, but it’s a VERY old British joke, dating back to vaudeville about any alcoholic beverage that you bought in low class establishments… the implication was they ‘cut’ the beer with the output of the urinals…
Oh, mine does. But it’s my personal mall, I don’t let other people in to play. Hence the automatic weapons.
Sorry, WITHOUT the guns. They were on Segways with nightsticks, though.
It’s TX… ’nuff said!
Dont mess with Texas ya know… seriously… we mean it… DONT DO IT!
We don’t take kindly to litterin’!
Well we dont take kindly to yer kind not taking kindly to our litterin!
Yeah, but we’re in our malls, segwayin’ along, with automatic
weapons. Didja have a POINT ta make there, Green Horn?
Side note: They used to use horses in Texas malls, but too
many kiosk displays got “Hi-Ho Silvered.”
But it was fun to watch them poop on the 3rd world market kiosk’s in the center…..Especially that guy with the d*mn lotion….
Exactly! Why only just today I got me a new holster for my .45 pistol so it wouldn’t chafe me quite so badly. I need to get my horse fitted with a rifle rack so I can carry my rifle when I ride to town to get vittles.
You know you like making fun of from outside of texas just as much as we love
teasing those of you in it
Making fun of people…. people dammit.
Hey, I try to be an equal opportunity lampooner. I’m not (racist sexist fatist insert stereotype here), I hate everyone equally
Of course you aren’t. You can’t be racist, sexist or fatist because you are an obese trisexual Nubian princess, right?
Right. And I have a gun.
Considered not wearing it while naked? It’ll chafe a lot less…
Well, see, my new one is lined with the fur from small endangered rabbits, so I can wear it naked or clothed. So I’m good.
I have photos of starving orphans we can laugh at later…
Sweet. I can add them to my collection of strip-mining in pristine areas,
*pictures of strip-mining. Sorry. It’s early.
Ever seen the pictures of birth defects caused by the sintering
by products caused by catalytic converter manufacture?
Strange to say, no one wants to talk about it much, and there’s very little on the web… but the great, grey stands of dead trees round some of those places reminds me of Chernobyl…
But it stops pollution !!!
I’m a great fan of irony.
All that lobbying and effort to make cats compulsory, and their manufacture is nearly as polluting as making low energy bulbs…
Don’t worry.
We’re from the Internet.
this is REAL…
those are some SWAT team in China
the pic should be a anti-terrorist exercise (or show…) right before 2008 Beijing Olympic
I like the guy with the sniper scope…
If you think these guys are dangerous, you should see the elite Unicycle SWAT Squad Charlie Alpha 2-Zero.
It is the Chinese military police – they used the segways at the Beijing Olympics
Mr. Garrison?
They see me roll on, my Segway!
I know in my heart they think I’m
white n’ nerdy!
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
Can’t you see I’m white n’ nerdy
Look at me I’m white n’ nerdy
I’d like to roll with-
The gangsters
Although it’s apparent I’m too
White n’ nerdy
Think I’m just too white n’ nerdy
I’m just too white n’ nerdy
How’d I get so white n’ nerdy?
Reminds me of the “Bicycle Infantry” they used to have in Europe. Basically, use the bikes to quickly get to where you need to be, then dismount to fight. Those guys could just tear ass through a heavily wooded area on the bikes, then hop off and hit the ground ready to fight, far faster than they could on foot, and far easier than they could in trucks. At least, that’s what I’ve been told.
Human powered dragoons.