Comments on: Poor little Suzie would need years of therapy…

By: jklol

jklol — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 02:24:40 +0000

Is that a reference to Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels?

By: Tessie

Tessie — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 20:53:35 +0000

Then whatever you do, don’t watch the commercials for the quit-smoking product where the sad-looking blonde woman says, “At 8:30, I need a cigarette. At 10:30, it’s my break at work, I need a cigarette…”, etc. I haven’t smoked in years and that commercial always reawakens the cravings.

By: palsyboy

palsyboy — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:52:34 +0000

Nor spelling, apparently.

By: marn

marn — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 22:08:10 +0000

“circles and arrows and the paragraph on the back of each on explaining what each one was”

HAHAH, made of awesome

By: pdq's smoky ghost

pdq's smoky ghost — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 20:10:07 +0000

Tell me about it… I stopped 12 years ago now & I STILL jones for a ciggybutt betimes. Even after a party a few years ago when I lit up, dragged, & almost really did die on the floor ‘midst the spilled coffee. Tasted HORRIBLE, made me sick, gave me a vicious headache… and I still want one sometimes. Pure Pavlovian response now, the sick is worse than the desire, therefore I don’t reach for one ever again. Just piss and moan and annoy the smoking people.

By: rhorho

rhorho — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:11:34 +0000

LMAO!! I’ll be doing a rain dance, or risk never getting those moochity neighbors off the place…

By: OhMyGoodness

OhMyGoodness — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:10:56 +0000

Uhhh… any chance that he channeled you?

By: OhMyGoodness

OhMyGoodness — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:09:48 +0000

I deeply suspect that there’s a one that seeks not understanding but justification for her rage.

By: OhMyGoodness

OhMyGoodness — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:06:56 +0000

With that singing? Have you any idea what an ask that is? Best I can do for you, my dear, is the Simpsons’ Slack-Jawed Yokel.

By: OhMyGoodness

OhMyGoodness — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:04:15 +0000

French cigarettes! Bugger – gave up at gunpoint six months ago and I miss it SOOOO much… Gitanes or Gauloises – and if you got a carton as a Christmas present…
*looks longingly, fumbles for old Zippo*

By: OhMyGoodness

OhMyGoodness — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 07:00:40 +0000

Vimes recognised the ballistic approach to punctuation…

By: PortlandMark

PortlandMark — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 05:07:53 +0000

Why is the mom laughing? Was the malfunction not truly a mistake? MOM’S PIMPING OUT HER FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER!!!

By: PortlandMark

PortlandMark — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 05:04:16 +0000

Ooh, does Rho like to sunbathe? There’s an outfit I like on a woman!

By: SilentJ

SilentJ — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 04:44:33 +0000

No wai! I just gave them the agony back!
.
See, there’s a picture of me when I was four years old, sitting on Santa’s lap and bawling. I was j-u-s-t old enough that I actually remember it. It wasn’t that bad. I was more pissed that they made me sit there when I didn’t want to than scared of the big guy.
.
BUT…
.
Rather than harboring some crazed resentment and spending zillions on therapy, I took a more… aggressive approach.
.
Every time someone new sees that picture, I make sure to tell the whole story of the Santa Clause’s Restaurant Massacree with four-part harmony and full orchestration, including the part with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us.
.
In other words, in the 30 years since, I’ve never let them live it down.
.
THAT, my friends, is WAY better than therapy.
.
.
.
.
(Did I just channel John McCain there at the end?)

By: Charlie Foxtrot

Charlie Foxtrot — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 01:14:23 +0000

Everybody loves crying babies…as long as they are someone else’s.

By: Charlie Foxtrot

Charlie Foxtrot — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 01:12:25 +0000

Grammer? Grammer? We don’t need no stinkin’ grammer!

By: slan agat

slan agat — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 18:55:51 +0000

Pretty soon you’ll have a privacy screen to sunbathe in your back yard!

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:46:49 +0000

Truly, even Savage Baboon (up top) made more sense…

By: DeathWyrmNexus

DeathWyrmNexus — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:43:19 +0000

Sorry to hear that you think that way.

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:29:46 +0000

*grabs towel; makes turban*
*lights candles; initiates seance*
pdq, this is your last chance: You get back here this instant
or I’m canceling your subscription to National Geographic!

By: pdq's smoky ghost

pdq's smoky ghost — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:15:01 +0000

NOOOO!!!! I’m NEVER coming back! I LIKE it dead! *claws frantically at the ether with chipped spectral nails*

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:08:58 +0000

(to self) D@mn, I didn’t know what I was starting with that
bleach streak in her hair…

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:08:47 +0000

On whose part?

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:07:40 +0000

*rubs paddles together*
CLEAR!!
*JOLTS pdq back to life*

By: frooella de vill

frooella de vill — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:07:29 +0000

*hands rho an extra holder*
-
*walks away cackling*

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:06:00 +0000

Thanks, but it just doesn’t seem right without the long black
holder like Frooella de Vil has…

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:04:46 +0000

*adds dangling participles to clothesline, next to hanging prepositions*

By: pdq's smoky ghost

pdq's smoky ghost — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 16:19:34 +0000

*hovering in a smoky shimmer over rho’s shoulder*
Here, have mine. Players. Not Frenchy, but not bad.

By: pdq

pdq — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 16:17:42 +0000

Hmmm… a severe lack of awareness?

By: pdq

pdq — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 16:16:09 +0000

*Looking coldly over shoulder*
That ‘French ciggy holder’ is tres passe, mon ami. Hold it like this *holds ciggybutt left-handed & backwards, dragging deeply*
THAT’S how we do it on the Left Bank.
*coughs explosively, eyes watering & dies on the butt-strewn floor ‘midst old espresso drippings*

By: froofrou

froofrou — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 15:48:18 +0000

*hands Rho a dangling participle* You might want to hang one of these out your window, dahlink.

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 12:41:56 +0000

You expect ‘rational’… look who’s posting there…

By: Sakhalinski

Sakhalinski — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 10:44:23 +0000

Hurting those parents wouldn’t do much good for the child either. Not exactly a rational response.

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 10:08:29 +0000

Wow, have I ever been served! Like a fool, I’ve squandered my days seeking better living through clarity, syntax and punctuation.
*opens window; begins mopping pretense droplets*
You’ve got to get these up before they dry. Otherwise, they’re like eggs…
*hums “Cruella de Vil” while working*
*throws away empty pack of generic cigarettes*

By: Unit4

Unit4 — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 09:51:51 +0000

I just accidentally grammar. Should I be worried?

By: SUZY

SUZY — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 05:51:52 +0000

*** Why is my closet so empty, so dark? Surely there should be something in my closet; closets are after all, according to my explanatory framework, made for things. Indeed I remember putting my toys away just yesterday. And besides, Stephen Hawking says there just must be stuff in my closet. But I can’t see it! Therefore: Monsters!

By: froofrou

froofrou — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 05:10:53 +0000

*holding Cosmopolitan in one hand and a French cigarette in the other*
-
You see, dahlink, the cringe ITSELF is the aht. *takes drag of cig through French holder* I would not expect such a perhson as yohrself to undarstand, Dahlink.
-
*walks away muttering in disdain and dripping with pretention*

By: srab

srab — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 04:11:33 +0000

for real. suzie needs to man up, santa’s an old man anyway. he couldn’t have done *that* much damage.

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 03:31:47 +0000

…so my cringing at bad LOL grammar is part of the artist’s intent?
Interesting notion, that one is.

By: rhorho

rhorho — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 03:28:57 +0000

He couldn’t have hurt her that much: He was wearing festive oven mitts at the time.
Toughen up, Suzie!

By: Seriously?!?!

Seriously?!?! — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 02:21:17 +0000

A man for whom the common comma is not so common.

By: Bek

Bek — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:36:46 +0000

I WANT TO SHOOT THEM TOO! *high fives*

By: Hell Hath No Fury

Hell Hath No Fury — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:30:40 +0000

Caaan anybodyyyyyy fiiind meeeee somebody tooooo
LOOOVE
*sings along to Queen badly and off-key*

By: Hell Hath No Fury

Hell Hath No Fury — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:29:47 +0000

Is it just me that wants to whack the parents whose kids are terrified of the 7 ft tall red stranger with facial hair, but still try to make them smile and sit on his lap and talk to him?! Just for a cute pic to send the relatives. *goes to therapy*

By: Bek

Bek — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:28:22 +0000

Thaaat is exactly what’s not to love. =/

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:17:50 +0000

Crying children! Innuendo of impropriety! What’s not to love?

By: Bek

Bek — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:15:14 +0000

Really not funny.

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 23:49:55 +0000

Lot of people were toilet trained at gun point… I find the postings with bad grammar painful, but on the LOLs themselves I’m not fussed, since it’s about intent.

By: MisterAJ

MisterAJ — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 23:43:28 +0000

wouldn’t say bad person…
a really annoying and pretty much useless person, maybe…
I mean, come on: this site was FOUNDED on grammatical errors…
Here:
Take ten bucks, buy yourself a pair of “let’s-look-past-the-insignificant-details” glasses and a sense of humor…
-Have a nice day…
To BigBadCityBoy:
Good one… I LOL’d myself… keep it up…

By: Uncle Fester

Uncle Fester — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 23:39:10 +0000

It looked less like a wardrobe malfunction and more like the disgusting old lush smacked the child with a balled fist…