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POLITICS IN ILLINOIS


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POLITICS IN ILLINOIS: Where “Cell Number” on your business card has a slightly different meaning.

(Rod Blagojevich)

picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: banjo1

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» 104 comments

  1. FIRST says:

    Balls!

  2. Paul says:

    Not in Obama’s case. And Blagojevich obviously wears a toupee.

  3. truth says:

    He’s still a democrat and walmart haircuts are still fine!

    • PortlandMark says:

      Dunno where you’re going with the “he’s a democrat” rap, but speaking as a leftie, I don’t care that he’s a dem: lock his ass up! That’s the difference between lefties and righties.

      • minerva146 says:

        I’m with you Mark! Seems like a real scumbag. Lock ‘im up!

        • The Pirate King says:

          Speaking as someone at the top of the political pyramid: how is that the difference between lefties and righties? I sure didn’t hear a lot of lefties clamoring for Clinton to be locked up for perjury. Does the left only get upset when one of their own commits a crime in a monumental and completely public fashion?

          • Christine says:

            Um, Kwame Kilpatrick (D-MI) committed perjury and everyone was clamoring for him to be locked up. Now he’s in jail and owes Detroit $1 million. So to answer your question, no.

          • Steve says:

            Lying about a blowjob so his wife didn’t find out is a little different than what this joker has done. Yes, lying is lying.

            But I don’t care who’s giving who a blowjob as long as they’re not stealing my tax money and manipulating thier political office via corruption and bribary.

            • The Pirate King says:

              Lying is lying, but perjury is a felony. I don’t care about blowjobs either (unless they are happening to me) but I am glad that people are bi-partisanly hating on Blagojevich. Maybe we all CAN just get along.

          • PortlandMark says:

            We wait for real crimes, dude. Lying about a bj so your wife won’t find out is a whole lot different from, say, lying about what intelligence is available so you can lead the country into a war so you can steal the treasury. Pay for play? We have no tolerance for that from our politicians.

    • dissimilitude says:

      This post shows significant improvement in coherence and punctuation compared to your earlier one, though.

  4. Ryan says:

    This guy has great hair – he gives Donald Trump a run for his money.

  5. Jocasta says:

    Damn our state.

    (Re: his hair – click my name.)

  6. Ashley says:

    hilarious. im ashamed to say im from illinois now

  7. Dudeface says:

    Maybe he and Ryan can share a bipartisan cell!

  8. jackstothemax says:

    Blagojevich should resign. Patrick Fizgerald stated that Blagojevich said, “it’s a [bleeping] valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing.” (Newsy.com http://www.newsy.com/).

    MSNBC decided to do a chart today that showcased who Blagojevich is linked to that Obama has worked with as a senator. Although this chart does show that Obama had to come in contact with Blagojevich at some time in his career, it does not explicitly depict Obama as participating in the embarrassing political culture of Chicago. Obama exclaimed his view on political positions by saying, “Part of the reason that I got into politics, ran for the state Senate, ran for the United States Senate and ultimately ran for the presidency is because we have to reclaim a tradition of public service that is about people and their lives and their hopes and their dreams. And it isn’t about what’s in it for me.”

    • The Pirate King says:

      No, It’s just about what’s in it for my friends that got me here.

      Plus Bagojevich was caught saying that Obama wouldn’t give him anything but gratitude so the Savior obviously knew what was going on and decided to say nothing. Isn’t Change great?

      • PortlandMark says:

        ” so the Savior obviously knew what was going on and decided to say nothing. Isn’t Change great?”

        Is it possible, in your world, that Obama said that because he believes pay for play politics is wrong? Think carefully, now, I know you tend to be a kneejerk about hating liberals.

        • The Pirate King says:

          I’m not quite sure what you mean. Reading that last post of mine leads me to believe that I could have been a little clearer. What I was wondering was why Obama did not rat out Bagojevich to the Feds or call a pres conference prior to the federal indictment and publicly condemn his governors actions. If Obama was telling the truth about his feelings on political corruption, it seems that that course of action would be fairly obvious. Unless this is a case of “here comes the new boss, same as the old boss.”

          • Banana80 says:

            Why call the feds if they’re already tapping his office and home?! Obama didn’t have crap to do with it. He’s preparing for his presidency, not holding out for a few thousand from the sale of his senate seat……

      • PortlandMark says:

        ” so the Savior obviously knew what was going on and decided to say nothing. Isn’t Change great?”

        Is it possible, in your world, that Obama said that because he believes pay for play politics is wrong? Think carefully, now, I know you tend to be a kneejerk about hating liberals.

  9. Jenessa says:

    totally ripped off of a Jeff Foxworthy joke, but still funny

    • banjo1 says:

      thanks for catching the Foxworthy reference :-)
      what gets me is that, upon being arrested, Rod asked if it was a joke. The agents replied, “No.”

  10. Austin says:

    I’m just proud that’s a politician from a state OTHER than Louisiana.

  11. This guy over here says:

    Woah! Can we keep it as “Politics in Chicago?” He may technically be Illinois’s governor, but he refused to live in the gubernatorial mansion and office in Springfield and stayed in Chicago, and only made appearances outside the Chicagoland area when it was election time. This guy refuses to acknowledge, like so many other Chicagoans, that there’s anything else to the state but that city, and now the whole country knows what a tool he is and the entire state gets a bad name.

    Grumble.

    • True Story says:

      As a person from southern Illinois (near St. Louis), I whole-heartily agree. I’ve never known a single person who voted for him, and the only reason he got ellected in the first place was because he was all buddy-buddy with Chicago politicians. Give me a Governor who actually cares about the entire state, please!

      I’m extremely happy he’s finally out of office. Now everyone knows how much of a dick he always was. Just really sucks that everyone assumes the entire state didn’t already know that…

  12. Party Pooper says:

    Fun fact everyone:

    Six of the last Eight Illinois Governors have been charged with serious crimes.

    If RoddyB goes to jail, that will mean that Four of the last Eight governors have ended up in prison.

  13. KaBooM says:

    Gotta love Illinois. I live here, but damn am I glad I’m not from here, and I won’t be here long!

  14. ICDK says:

    This man singlehandedly made me ashamed to be from Chicago. When Thompson was governor, I said the same thing. :)

  15. AtlasShrugged says:

    Um… Isn’t Obama a product of Illinois Politics ?
    ( runs from the incoming Flameball)

    • clamboy says:

      Okay, here’s my flame attempt, oh user with the name of the book with the boringest speech ever:
      1) please define “a product of Illinois Politics” (why did you capitalize the second word?)
      2) is your point, then, that all people from Illinois be barred from running for national office?
      The main point, oh Objectivista, is that you are committing an ultra-whirlwind logical fallacy. I doubt you care, but hey, I might as well try to show you your error.

      • The Pirate King says:

        First of all, oh user with an unnatural affection for bivalves: um followed by three periods indicates a conversational pause followed by a complete sentence of which the FIRST word should always be capitalized. Also don’t criticize him when your bullet points, while numbered, are not capitalized at ALL. Beam, mote IDK.

        Second: I can find no indication that the main point of his post was in anyway akin to the way that you misinterpreted it to be. There is no logical fallacy beyond the one your own mind created.

        Third: The definition of “a product of Illinois Politics” is a crook.

        Finally: Yes, “Atlas Shrugged” did include an amazingly boring speech in which the hero reiterated his point many more times than necessary. However, that in no way detracts from its literary and philosophical merit.

        • Danbala says:

          While not inclined to disagree with your post, I must say I think clamboy was wondering about the second word in the expression “Illinois Politics”.

        • slan agat says:

          - Product of Illinois Politics = Crook
          - Obama = PoIP
          - Ergo Obama =Crook

          Also,

          - PoIP = Crook
          - Person from Illinois practically able to run for president = PoIP
          - Crooks shouldn’t run for national office
          - Ergo People from Illinois shouldn’t run for national office.

          Maybe your Randian buddy didn’t make a titanic logical fallacy himself, but you made a titanic logical fallacy out of his smaller one.

          • Christine says:

            That’s only true if the fist statement is always true, which it isn’t.
            -PoIP sometimes = Crook
            So it may not have been a logical fallacy, but it was based on false assumptions.

          • The Pirate King says:

            You assume that I believe crooks shouldn’t run for national office. I actually that ANYONE who runs for national office is automatically a crook. There is no law that says crooks can’t run for office.

            • rhorho says:

              You know I love you, but now you’re just being squirrely. You missed the logical fallacy, so now you’re dancing like your feet are on fire. You would feel better in the long run if you simply admitted, “Oh, I see what you mean.”
              *crosses arms; taps foot*

          • Banana80 says:

            I’m now incredibly sad that I should not run for national office. Wahhhhh! Born and raised in Illinois, never committed any crimes (besides that one speeding ticket…) Alas, from Illinois I am, I will never, ever, be fit to play a part in national politics….. :~(

    • Christine says:

      Daley says the so-called “machine” does not exist. That’s the story and they are sticking to it.

  16. jared says:

    As a resident of Illinois, I was so mad when he got re-elected. My state has some real idiots in government positions. Our last governor is in prison.

    I cannot believe Blagojevich was re-elected. I was so mad. He called a special meeting with the state senate (I think it was the senate); they showed up and found out that our dear old governor had skipped out on the meeting he had called to go to a Blackhawks game in Chicago. Everyone was really pissed. I’m elated that he’s finally done something illegal that actually ended up getting him in trouble.

    And as for Obama, it was so obvious that he was using the state senate as a springboard to the White House. We knew it back when he was first elected. I’m not saying whether he was a good or bad senator, but the whole state knew he was going to run for President

    • jared says:

      Crap. I just realized that I pretty much said the same thing twice about how I felt about the re-election. That’s annoying to read. Sorry about that.

  17. slaggingham says:

    The last non-corrupt politician to come out of Illinois was LINCOLN.

    Of course, he started a war, ruined businesses in half the country, suspended habeas corpus, prosecuted his political opponents, censored the free press, and interned enemy combatants in really inhumane prison camps for the duration of the war. A war that took a lot longer and killed a lot more people than was originally projected by analysts.

    Of course, that was before hippies, no nobody complained.

    • PortlandMark says:

      “Of course, that was before hippies, no nobody complained.”

      Wow. Stuck in the sixties much? Or did the internet just make it out to the redneck town in Idaho you call home?

  18. y'all are hicks says:

    for some reason all ’southern illinois’ residents make it seem like it’s the greatest juxtaposition ever to be associated with the words illinois and chicago and be corrupt. i beg to differ. YOU’RE ALL IDIOTS. especially those from the south. i live by wisconsin (still in IL), the land of ignorant cheeseheads, no where near chicago. am i corrupt because i’m CLOSER to chicago than CLOSER to those of you in SOUTHERN illinois? NO. so stop trying to be all high and mighty on your broken down mule of an idea that people from south of I-80 are better than those anywhere else in the state. it makes us hate you even more, and the reason why state politics suck is because we can’t get a long, not because people are ‘buddy buddy’ with each other in chicago. jeez, if i were to be elected to some position in the IL gov’t there would be ABSOLUTELY NO CORRUPTION on my part, and if i found out someone were having criminal behavior i would oust them immediately, regardless of where they’re from in IL, what party they’re for, and what it is they were doing. even if they offered money to keep my mouth shut, or threatened my life, i would still speak up b/c as a current CITIZEN i would know the meaning of dignity in such situation.

    • Uncle Fester says:

      Rants are more impressive when you use the shift key more…

    • Um...no says:

      We do not act high and might by any means. Out point is simply that since we are much less populated than the Chicago-land area, we get virtually no say in government. Granted, yes we do get to vote, but essentially our votes are simply “canceled out” by the fact that Chicago has many more people than us. It’s not us acting better than anyone, it’s that we are sick and tired of people being elected in our state completely without our say.

      Nonetheless, it makes no difference now because B. is officially out of office and has been replaced. Let’s just hope Pat Quinn can do a better job running Illinois than any of his recent predecessors.

  19. y'all are hicks says:

    oh, and in the words of our ex-governor, F*** that B****** A**hole BlagoB**** that I never voted for, even though i’m a dem. that’s why liberals have a better grasp on politics…we can actually vote for someone who’s not in our political party! if you were a republican and hard core conservative that would be (in the words of Mean Girls) *gasp!* “Social SUICIDE!” to vote for someone whose not in your party!

  20. y'all are hicks says:

    oh, and F*** that B****** A**hole BlagoB**** that I never voted for as governor, even though i’m a dem. that’s why liberals have a better grasp on politics…we can actually vote for someone who’s not in our political party! if you were a republican and hard core conservative that would be (in the words of Mean Girls) *gasp!* “Social SUICIDE!” to vote for someone whose not in your party!

  21. y'all are hicks says:

    whoops double post. oh and it’s not shift i used. caps lock is much easier when you’re ranting. and it has nothing to do with trying to be impressive, unless you want to tell yourself that.

  22. Allie says:

    With any luck, Rowdy Roddy will go to prison, whereupon his name will be changed to Rod Bendovabitch.

    (I’m from Springfield, IL. This guy was an unapologetic shithole. My apologies for the profanity, and to anyone who’s heard the joke before.)

  23. tom says:

    no its his real hair


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