YOU KNOW YOU’VE FAILED SOMETHING WHEN
YOU KNOW YOU’VE FAILED SOMETHING WHEN: You’ve had 8 years of military school, and are assigned to guard the hats…
(Russian policeman)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption:
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Cheezburger Network Blog
первых.
смешно
в советской России вы все еще терпите неудачу!
Мы говорим русского поэтому вы не делаете
Спасибо. Я не говорю по русский.
Победа!
I wonder when the poster format is going to be used correctly……..
I know…this would have been much better as a regular caption.
Completely agree.
Disagree, but not strongly.
or formatted as something like:
`
FAILURE
When you’ve had 8 years of military school, and still get stuck guarding the hats.
That’s pretty much what I was thinking. (But I have a nagging feeling that some other word than “failure” would be more adept.)
“Overqualified”?
Or…
THE GENERAL’S WIFE
Were those minutes worth a lifetime on “Guarding Hat”-duty?
Hah!
That’s one more nugget of awesome you’re made of!
Absolutely agree, one hundred and ten percent!
I agree with your agreement.
I strongly disagree with your agreement to my agreement, but agree to your agreeing nature.
I vehemently disagree with your egregious agreement
that we agree to disagree about an agreement. Agreed?
While I’m prone to agree with your disagreement to my agreement, I agreeably disagree with the premise that disagreeing, for the sake of disagreeing, is, de facto, disagreement. Otherwise I think you’re swell.
Well, I swim in your sweeping swellitude that swells so sweetly.
If I agree to agree, will you agree that disagreement can be agreeable?
Not unless you agree to agree in advance!
P
got it!
…so you, uh, agree to agree in advance? Conditional agreements are disagreeable.
agreed!
Well, OKAY, then!*
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*cryptic “Raising Arizona” line
I *HATE* that irl, no one gets when I use that line.
Have you had your DIPTAT?
You’ve just GOTTA have your DIPTET!!
Turn to thuh raight…
Lolcats has a good example of a poster well used, imo.
click name
Correct poster use FAIL!!!
If thats the best you can do, you fail.
I kind of liked the one about handjobs better. *blush*
Without sounding pervy or anything, but handjobs… Rrrrrrrrrrrr
I should have been checking the vote page I see… Speaking of hand jobs, I should have Lynn use her hands and only her hands until I say she can use her mouth. She whimpers soooo sweetly. Then again, maybe I will just get off on her chest instead. I should get a picture of it with it all over her chest. She gets such a priceless look on her face…
Ooooh, perhaps make her wear her schoolgirl skirt and knee highs… Yaaa, I like that idea.
*covers eyes*
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TMI, man, TMI!!
I am sure my target audience appreciated it. I am sorry that you were collateral damage.
Oh the humanity!
Yes for my love crimes, I am a love criminal. The Geneva Convention will be banging down my door any day now. Then I can sit in my comfy cell while I await trial.
Besides, all I did was give you ideas. ; )
This (what is illegal in a bedroom and what is not) legislation is pretty different from country to country, isn’t it? It’s getting (if it didn’t already get) worse in the UK, for instance. Everytime we’re over there for Rubber Ball and stuff, they’re begging for contributions to the cause of countering the harsher legislation. Can’t remember what it’s called.
(
(In Sweden, them there politicians dudes have recently decided that authorities like “Socialstyrelsen” can no longer call me mentally ill for doing what I like. From Jan 1st, apparently.
)
Yaaaa, I always get a twitch when I hear about what is illegal in other countries in the bedroom. Tis craziness.
Technically, sodomy (even between consenting adults) is illegal where I live. It’s one of those obscure laws no one enforces but the Powers That Be haven’t taken off the books yet.
There goes anal and oral… Since Sodomy is anything but the Vagina if I remember correctly.
You remember correctly.
Ah. The Spanner Trust (link in name).
Not that I’m into that type of ‘fun’, but yeah, it’s stupid to think a government can legislate bedroom activity. However, having said that, one thing on that site did catch my eye that I do agree with the law on. Specifically, “an act which involves sexual interference with a human corpse, or a person performing an act of intercourse or oral sex with an animal (whether dead or alive).” I mean, that is just to weird to even think about.
Oh yea, not to mention very unsanitary and could be a public
health issue.
Oh the huge manatee!
LMAO!
Is there any porpoise to this crazy life?
perhaps we otter be less shellfish
but why carp on the obvious?
Sea all this horsing around is going to cause problems.
You’re just being crabby.
hey don’t gill trip me!
I’m not anemone!
I think this spells el fin, algae be leaving now.
I’m floundering, looking for a ray of light on this.
–roe
Please, stop trouting the obvious!
We could bangus around for hours yet.
Beating your drum again, Snooks?
You again? I thought I smelt something funny…
What is all this noise I’m herring in here?
it’s just salmon rushdie reading poetry again.
OT question……Does Salmon Rushdie pronounce his name ‘SALmon’ or ‘SAMMON’.
I believe he pronounces it Salman with the ‘L’.
Well that’s no fun! Can’t you hear his mom: “Sammon! Sammon! Come in for dinner, Sammon! We’re having tuna!”
and of course he would ‘tuna’ her out..
Holy mackerel–Your wit is likely to snapper in half!
But she doesn’t call him, she just turns on the porch light and the lampreys draw him in.
I think the humor is floundering now…
Well, that part is to me, too. Honestly, they have been more about the law against causing each other injuries even if both like it. In essence, it meant (as far as I could tell), that you could be charged over a couple of bruises, even if the bruisee don’t mind them.
.
And, even if necrophilia and bestiality don’t do it for me, I think it might not be nice forbidding pornography depicting it (all assuming no one involuntarily gets hurt – which then is a different ballgame legally too). I am assuming that it mean that even cartoons etc. will be banned. (That’s the law for violent porn in Sweden., at least. You can’t even legally buy drawings of the stuff.)
I guess my first question would be, how would the authorities find out that a couple were into S&M? Either one of them would have to make the claim to the police first, or a third party would have to be present. You then have the problem of who to believe if they dud get arrested.
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As for the necrophelia/beastiality stuff, by all means make it illegal. I can’t even begin to imagine the desire for that. Aside from the obvious, the health issue would be the biggest factor.
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*shivers at the though*
*thought*
Well, yes. It can and does happen. I knew a crazy chick once, she and her man liked to.. well god only knows what. But she had bruises, he had bruises, they got in an argument one day and she called the police and cried “Domestic Violence!” He went to jail. I was very upset. (Having known the couple..eh.. “intimately” I have firsthand knowledge – I know DV is no joke, but like welfare, this system is abused, and all too often me thinks).
They are now married. @@
At any rate, I guess the moral is, make sure the bitch ain’t that crazy before you plunder her like a poor village girl.
Well, for starters, that law would give them all the reason they need to raid SM clubs. (Easy job too – up the crime-buster statistics, and there won’t be violence, SM-clubs are notorious for being very sober and well-behaved. Kinda goes with the work description. ;o)
.
Two responses:
1) I said pornography depicting it (fiction). I can understand why the acts themselves are illegal.
2) There are thousands of things I can’t get imagine the desire to do, but I am fairly sure that’s not good enough a ground to make them illegal.
Ok, you have made the point. I would agree with both of your replies. However, as you said there are thousands of things we can’t even begin to imagine that other’s would, and we can’t necessarily legislate that. But, defiling a corpse, whether imaginary or real, is way over the line of decency and I just don’t see where it should be accepted in any form.
Necrophilia also raises some pretty squicky health issues…
Yes. I will say it again – I am talking about fiction depicting something. Seriosusly, I think murder is a pretty forrible crime, but damn, there are quite a few good movies, books and whatnot that has that as a central part. So, if some pwople really get their kicks about fantasies of cuddling a corpse… I dunno. Just because it makes me go EW, who am I to say they can’t even make drawings of it or partake in others’ fantasies in that manner?
.
And honestly – if I were to be forced to choose between killing a person or getting jiggy with a stiff… I dunno. EW factor high, but…
.
Sorry, I’ve turned into rambling mode now.
FORRIBLE. I am FORRIBLE. (It means “horrible” in Danbalese.)
I left my Danabalese dictionary in the car, so thanks for the translation. You are one of my very most favorite PWOPLE! ;o)
Us pwople are speshul. Mom taught me that.
“person performing an act of intercourse or oral sex with an animal”
To be perfectly correct, shouldn’t that be non-human animal?
We’re not plants, after all.
*walks away humming Bloodhound Gang’s Bad Touch*
There is that point. We are animals ourselves if you want to be technical.
Hahahahahahahaha that depends on who you ask.
Question: “What are the top ten animal brain sizes?”
Answer: “Elephant!”
A: “Hippo!”
A: “Whale!”
(me): “People!”
*silence*
“People aren’t animals”
(me): *snort* “The hell we’re not, and our cranial capacity is extremely large given the size of our head by the way.”
“No way is our brain bigger than a gorillas”
(me) *hangs head in shame at the stupidity* “Ok, if you say so”
It is why I hate people. A lot of them can’t think in relative terms or percentages.
HEY! Either it’s black or it’s white. So, either NONE, or ALL of them can! Therefore you are wrong, and most probably a terrorist! So there!
P
.
Something like that?
How did you find out?!?
Yeah, I can’t get past that one either. I’ve even heard, well I’ve read, someone defend beastiality by saying that the animal likes it. *shudders and winces* Sorry, but no. Just…no.And necrophilia? I can’t even think….No. Just no.
Here’s the brain bleach.. it won’t help, but it will make you feel a little better about yourself.
That is so hot.
Well I’ll be damned, DWN did hit his target (no pun intended) audience!
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Ok, press on with pride!
Yea, he could do that for money I bet. I mean write about it, that is… That
could be a new career for you DWN. (I’m always thinking business, no fun
me…)
Why do my posts come out all crooked now? Stupid Firefox.
There was a crooked girl who had a crooked post..
and what she loved the most
what left her so engrossed
(and he mostly doesn’t boast)
Was eddie’s great pork roast!
WIN!
But even though the roast
Was so golden and so tasty
The poor girl knew that carving it
Would be a bit too hasty
‘Twas a minor hindrance:
As in all matters romance,
She had no disturbance
Regarding his lack of pants!
I’ve been told I should write professionally more than a couple times. If I was going to do it though, I would want to give it all my attention which I can’t afford to do right now. >_<
I actually had a book 3/4 written that I was hoping to get published some day. Infortunately, my ex in a fit of rage ran it through the shredder.
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Psychotic B*tch..
I might be in jail for killing her if that had happened to me.
The thought occured to me.. but you notice that she is now my ex..
Murder is cleaner than divorce… >_>
Only if you do it right…….Divorce can be pretty clean if you make sure she’s gone for the day and back up a U-Haul to the front door of the house you both share. Maybe next time my hubby will listen to me…..then again, if he gets divoced again it will be from me, so I hope he didn’t listen
)
I know at least one guy that’s been done to while he was at
work. It’s never struck me as a very fair way of going about
things, but knowing you I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for having good
reasons! (Also on leaving a reasonable share of the stuff, which
did not happen to the person I know; she cleaned him out pretty
thoroughly).
My hubby’s ex is an evil she-bat who is the only person I have ever actually wished death on. Trust me, him taking all of HIS stuff from her before she kept it from him in the divorce would have been the humane way to go.
’s cool…like I said, I’m sure some people deserve it! (Actually, my boyfriend’s ex might well have deserved it if he’d done it to her…I don’t think he had it coming, though.)
<__>
Strewth!
You might have liked the pirate time we had a while back. I tied her legs apart and plundered her like a poor little village girl. I believe it culminated with tossing her over the couch, hair pulling, and growling in her ear that she was naught but my little piece of plunder to do with as I please. Ah submissives and their fantasies. We both had a blast though.
I’ve also wrote some poetry and stories for friends as well as done some voice chatting with the sub of one of my friends. She apparently loves my voice and says I have a purr to it and a growl that just drives her wild. Her master appreciates the effect.
@eddie: I like to think I know what my audience likes.
Pirates! I love it. Also, very hot
Well, yeah. Very.
I might go with some pirate punishment sometime. Tie her over the arm of the couch and then flog her. Then… Get creative. Oh and I suggest applying some ginger to the clit.
Just take a little bit and either drop some of the juice on it or rub some cut ginger on it. Just trust me. You will love the reaction. ; )
*is dubious. Curious, but dubious* One of the least-sexiest experiences I ever had involved a lube that was supposed to “tingle”. It took about, well, maybe 60 seconds before I had to run to the bathroom and wash it off. I can only describe the sensation as similar to applying BenGay to your genitalia, which, to me at least, is highly unpleasant. Of course, I may be more sensitive than normal. I don’t know. I have pretty sensitive skin in general.
But anyway, like fresh ginger or crystallized ginger or powdered ginger, or what? Oh, and what’s the effect if you do it to a guy? (Or do I need to experiment and let you know?)
Fresh ginger as you want the juices. It will feel warm. Lynn was annoyed because she thought it wasn’t going to work. Then she was able to orgasm three times in a row which is very difficult for her. We are going to be getting more ginger. Our friend’s sub apparently will hump anything that moves if you use it on her so it does have variance.
We have not tried it on me so you would need to experiment. I suggest researching “Figging” and getting the history behind it. It pretty much makes your clit more sensitive.
My wife’s the opposite. She usually reaches the point of physical exhaustion before she actually runs out of orgasms. Lots of fun to watch though!
It is almost depressing to see the amount of envy Lynn has for those women. Having our boys wrecked hell on her ability to orgasm for some reason. I still make sure she gets hers though.
You might tell her it’ll get easier as she gets older, if you think that’ll cheer her up. It generally does get (a lot) easier. (And you guys slow down! Heh. Life’s not fair, is it?)
I can only have external orgasms, which sucks majorly. We have to take care of me before we get to the sex, and then i’m sleepy
)
We take care of Lynn afterward since she has only orgasmed maybe three times during sex since the birth of Mikey. So she gets her main kicks getting me off and then I help her masturbate. Mmm, good stuff and she orgasms very hard.
You know, froo, if you get creative you can get clit stimulation during sex. Heck, have him get behind you while you use your hand, or while he does (trickier…)
Or, yeah, like DWN said, you should get to go last sometimes!
Or stimulate yourself while he plows ya slowly. That is one of Lynn’s favorites with me. Make sure she is propped up, get a hand in that hair, growl and let her know who is bitch, give some controlled thrusting then Profit. Just depends on your sensitivities.
Grrrr, PK is eating my posts…
Yeah that’s what I do, I play with my clit during sex. That’s the only way I can have an orgasm too, is external. Hubby finds it extremely hot because he knows what I’m doing and he knows it means I’m about to cum and that makes him really excited. Doggystyle, I find is the easiest position for that, or maybe just because it’s my favourite position. Our sex life is nice and balanced.. when we’re together.. because it’s my mission to get him off and it’s his mission to get me off so .. yeah.
Damnit, I miss him.
Ya, Lynn is very fond of it too. Though she says I have a tendency to hit the end of her if I am overly excited. >_>
For some women, it is possible to learn how to have an internal orgasm. A previous girlfriend told me how she did it, I passed that wisdom on to my wife, and with a lot of practice, she can now reliably achieve two or three internal orgasms most times we make love. Basically, the nerves to the clit pass up the inside of the upper vaginal wall, through the g-spot. It’s way easier to learn how to stimulate this area if you use fingers. The trick is, the woman will eventually feel an uncomfortable pressure and an urge to pee, but you just need to keep going instead of backing away from the sensation. Eventually, internal orgasm and she may even ejaculate a little, don’t worry it isn’t pee it’s fluid fro the g-spot, the equivalent of seminal fluid without the semen.
@ charro *hugs* That’s gotta be tough. I’d miss my guy something awful if he was gone long.
Hmmm, interesting Seth…
@Seth I took a class once and there was a section on the G spot. I tried and I tried and I tried and I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I’ve tried several ways, I think I’m just broken, or too damn impatient. My system works well =o)
But I appreciate the thought, sehr gut.
@dissimilitude *hugs* it is pretty tough but it was a mutual decision he go so I have no one to blame but the both of us. I mean, we’re still together, there were just too many problems.
@charro: Well, I don’t think that every woman can learn it, even with training. It depends on anatomy. Maybe not even most women. I’ve only ever known two women who could, and one of those I had to teach, and that took two years. So don’t feel like you are broken or anything.
Seriously, as long as you can get off, does it really matter what method you have to use? Say it with me, class: There’s no right or wrong way to have an orgasm.
Well, I mean as long as you’re not hurting anyone. At least not anyone who doesn’t want to be hurt.
I dunno. It’s like quite a bit less than 10% of all women who can have non-clitoral orgasms. I decided to stop thinking they were necessary or even desirable, and it made fornication more fun, for me. It’s very hard to come while you’re thinking “damn, what’s wrong with me, why won’t I come?”. If I sense that it’s not going in that direction I say so, and we just “cross it out on the schedule”, so to speak. I think (I am very convinced for my own part at least) that the lion part of an orgasm lies in the BRAINZ.
…and the conclusion about the BRAINZ bit is just that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with going “Ah well, I am obviously not coming tonight, but wtf, this is nice anyway”.
*sigh* And PK decides to put my post in there now, after it no longer matters. Grrrr.
Well, I was sad for a while that I couldn’t get off during sex. Then, one day, I decided “f*ck it, I’m playing with myself” and it was AMAZING. So that’s just what I do and I don’t feel inferior or anything, plus since my hubby is intent on getting me off, it means *I* get to control when I orgasm and that drives him nuts. In a good way.
And yes, there is no wrong way to orgasm, thank you Freud and your ridiculous “immature orgasm” idea.
PK…the magic post eater.
Well, that sounds a lot dirtier than I meant for it to.
Freud was a sadist in the bad way.
P
Eh, least my post was dirty and fun but now way up there in the thread. Heh.
It matters to me, DWN.
Awesome. ^_^
O//////O Wow, this is probably the most, erm, educational thread I’ve ever read.
@DWN, Seth, and the others, I use toys and fingers a lot during sex. (DWN, you’ll appreciate this……lots of hair-pulling, holding down, and calling me dirty, dirty things always helps the process, hehe)
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Seth, I’ll try that idea next time. Alas, I’m away from the hubby right now, but he will be jumped with extreme predudice when I get back!
Jings!
Wheesht!
You’ve taken up all the comments page.
Have you nothing better to talk about?
What, better than sex? What do you suggest? :^P
I know, right? Best conversation EVAR.
@AC: Seriously. Go play in traffic and die in a fire. It is getting old.
Charming as ever, DWN.
Sure and it’s getting a bit annoying, but I think we might be clever enough to make the point in an amusing way without resorting to this sort of thing.
It’s the weekend and I lack patience with little girls playing comment police.
Though I do wonder if it galls her so much because she has absolutely nothing to contribute or discuss. Must be frustrating since she does love to play the role of knowitall, even when she doesn’t. In this kind of discussion, she can’t even pretend.
@AC: I am as nice as the nonsense I have to put up with. Don’t act like a nagging twit and you’ll notice I become much nicer. I don’t waste charm and right now, you’ve been proving to be a waste.
So act like a bitch and be treated like one. Least you’ve admitted to the title before. Admission is the first step to recovery.
I also lack patience. Unlike you, I lack patience with the excessively lewd. Although you may not have noticed, I have little to “contribute or discuss” in threads regarding American Politics yet I have no issue with them.
Your “knowitall” comment is a strawman fallacy that is almost completely unfounded. Everyone (except perhaps Seth) is guilty of pontification. I, no more so than average.
Anyway, the charm of a gentleman does not desert him when he is faced with an opposing viewpoint…
Since this isn’t my fight, I feel the need to step in. This mess needs to be taken down a peg or two. Can we all agree that lashing out is counterproductive?
Don’t make me get Jane in here: She’ll make you write sentences! o_O
@AC: I find it rather founded by your attitude and continuing whining. As for the rest of it, nobody asked for your approval nor do we need your patience. So coming to complain everytime sex is discussed gets old as the site is not your playground. As I noticed, a number of people were discussing things in a mature manner. Your delicate sensibilities can bugger off.
Also, being a knowitall doesn’t necessarily entail pontification. It entails a feeling that you know everything and thus have to add to every conversation. At least if you are going to claim a debate term, use it correctly. I am making a personal attack, not bringing up a diversion.
Lastly, I never claimed to be a gentleman. I simply said you don’t worrant any kindness or charm on my part. You can stop making up points to counter. It also helps if you actually have a counterview to discuss if you are talking about opposition. You are simply trying to stop all discussion on the subject. This thread isn’t a debate so your opposing viewpoint statement isn’t relevant. Having an opposing viewpoint would actually entail some kind of conversation, to which you seem opposed to have a conversation in the first place. Thus nothing to encounter so much as a little girl telling us to knock it off like we actually give a damn.
Civility would be actually leaving well enough alone instead of bickering at people just talking amongst themselves.
@Rhorho: She is welcome to try to force me to do anything. Won’t get her anywhere. ; )
Gah… warrant not worrant.
@AC
@DWN
Can you two simply agree to ignore each other?
This forum is unmoderated. It is also all age access.
Since we cannot change the latter, perhaps we should hesitate to give the admins reason to change the former.
@rhorho: Actually that was what I was doing until she decided to interject her attitude into an otherwise very civil conversation among adults.
I didn’t go looking for her, if you recall.
@slanagat: Considering what I have seen posted in the other areas, I can’t see them doing it beyond the filtering they already use. If we moderate ourselves, then why worry about them moderating? The result is the same, I’ll just end up leaving. I already visit enough places where I am not free to speak as I please. If this place follows suit, I will be done. So I cannot comply to your request at this time. Especially since it was such a nice conversation to begin with.
Oh noes I am guilty of pontification.
@AC, if you don’t like what we’re writing, don’t read it. How hard is that? As I recall, the lewdness all involved us discussing what we do with our partners (or past partners) and sharing wisdom with eachother. Very helpful I think and in this day and age helping people keep their sex lives with their partners active is an admirable thing to do. Keep the home fires burning and all that. We’re not discussing how we like to have random sex with random people and cheat on our partners, now are we?
I appreciate the ginger tidbit, I learned something here.
Lesson: If you don’t like what you are reading, turn the page.
@Charro: started to read it, decided to stop, scrolled down, thought “oh jings, this thread’s long” and so pointed it out. Obviously, part of my obsessive personal vendetta against DWN. BTW, I see your point.
@DWN: “whining” + an attitude you don’t like =/= “knowitall.”
You imply that, to have the right to add to a thread, you must be an authority on the subject. This comes from someone calling me the “comment police.”
I am well aware that this is not a formal debate. However, you like this thread, I do not i.e. we have opposing viewpoints. Also, I fail to see where “diversions” come into this. As you know, a strawman fallacy involves misconstruing an argument so that it is easier to refute. Here, you portrayed me as a “knowitall” to bring me down. Use of the term was justified.
BTW, civility also involves a lack of name-calling.
If I may derail the derailment, since I wasn’t here to play, er I mean comment, over the weekend…
I also do not orgasm easily, and in fact often get off better by watching my wife get off. I have found a few tricks though – as it turns out part of my problem is often dryness, even when I’m ready to go. A little lube works wonders even for non-penetration events. We also recently discovered that non-latex gloves make a HUGE difference when using fingers/hands in either of us. Being a lesbian couple, we have to worry about things like fingernails (OUCH!!!) and such, but the gloves make it much better.
Also, it can take quite a while to not only find the G-spot but to relax and loosen her up enough to get to it. How far in it is varies from person to person, but usually requires that she be able to accomodate at least 3 fingers just to be able to “tickle” the tip of it.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled flame-war.
Just a general comment….I was surprised to check back in after the weekend and see all the conflict here! I didn’t think we were getting “offensive”; generally (here or wherever) if I notice a long thread on a topic I have no interest in, I just skip over it. I thought it was fairly educational, myself. [Insert blanket semi-sincere apology to anyone I offended
here....]
I quite enjoyed the knife fight.
Everyone came out of it looking a complete idiot…
@interloper,
I agree a little lube goes a long way, even in a hetero couple. Hell, even when you’re by yourself, a little lube can make things much better.
Thanks for the glove tip, if I ever hook up with a chick again, I’ll remember that!
*sigh* Not going to bother. AC is now a troll to me thus I will take rhorho’s advice and ignore.
@Interloper: Makes me glad I am a nail biter but the gloves would work wonders if you like long nails. Lube is a fun way to tell your body that nobody is going to help them. Mwahahahaa.
@Uncle Fester: Nice to know you will be in good company then.
@charro: Glad to have enlightened. My friend was very pleased to know that I am passing along what I learned. I learn tons from him. : )
You’ll always be the Alpha Idiot to me, you big brave S&Mer you…
@UF: For my part, thanks. Anything to entertain you…
@DWN: You’re smarter than I thought. ;o)
It’s pretty much guaranteed schadenfreude all the way on PK…
@ UF: Schadenfreude…. I like that word. Also, “idiots” comment made me laugh.
@UF: Of course, now I have to drag out an old favorite:
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” –Mel Brooks
@UF: Quirky and humble of you to admit being beneath me in the pecking order. Very odd, in fact.
@rhorho: … in bed. And I love that quote.
@DWN: I’m a nail biter too – that’s part of the problem. Hangnails, uneven nails, etc…
@charro: You’re welcome. It was a randomly discovered thing resulting from her being, um, *that time of the month* and me a bit squeamish about it.
@DWN (if he’s around): life’s too short for virtual quarrels.
*extends apology & offer of hatchet-burying & cookie*
*has a warm fuzzy*
*snivels; hugs monitor*
*hugs rhorho* I has new boots that give me many man points which I then lose by making mental squee noises over. My feminine side got new shoes, I will be conflicted for the rest of the day.
@AC: Very true. Sorry for being so aggressive and letting my peeves get the best of me. Here, have some platonic affection. *hugs*
Point of clarification. I got new Harley Davidson boots which are size 15, thus I have to wear my shoes into the very ground before I can afford to shop for new ones. Just in case somebody took my feminine side comment too literally.
@DWN: Fine, just spoil my mental image of you in 10-inch heels!
Although Harley boots have their own appeal, I must say. Still, it was fun to think of you as a cross-dresser for a minute there.
@DWN damnit now you are making me think of my favourite pair of shoes that have been missing since 2003. *sniff* Those were the best shoes EVAR.
Do you have a Harley?
I have hair over halfway down my back, if that makes it any better Interloper. Lynn and a number of other girls who have played with it love to brush it. Tis a chestnut color for those curious.
As for the Harley question, no, I am not that cool. I just have the boots since they were the right size and I look good in them. I am sorry to hear about missing shoes. That always sucks.
@DWN – Credit where it’s due. You’ll always be the better idiot.
@UF: And you will still be in the company of your peers when you post among your fellow idiots.
but it must be good to be the best of the crop, though
gives that extra edge when applying the nipple clamps? The Cretin King….
It has a ring.
Not really, you actually need to know what you are doing when you play around with the body. Never been one for clamps myself. Being an idiot or cretin just hinders the play. Granted, I understand how backwards your country is on the concept of sexual freedom so I can see where the confusion lies. Then again, all countries have their issues to resolve so I can’t begrudge you too much.
As for being the best of the crop, purely perspective. But at least you have a hobby coming up with names.
*adds ginger to the shopping list*
Thanks! Need ideas as I am hubby-less, but not toy-less.
And I will pass that thanks along to my friend, Barton who told me.
Add some fresh batteries to the list, too! ;0)
Well you got me on that one!
)
Out of curiosity, what are the logistics of role play when you have small children? Do they ignore the screaming? My daughter is still tiny, but when she gets older and starts to figure out what’s going on, I’m not sure how to handle it. Any tips?
Buy her some headphones?
They go to bed eventually and we make sure to leave out loud noises. Stupid neighbors having to exist. If we were in a home we owned, we would have a basement for such matters that require louder noises.
Also, sending the kids to go visit their friends and relatives work too. ; )
Wow, all of this from a guy guarding hats. Gotta love this place.
DWN, I have to tell you my wife and I recently started really talking about our secret fantasies and such. It’s been most educational to read some of your posts.
Best thing you can do is talk about your fantasies without laying down any judgment. If your first reaction is to wince, ask what turns them on about it and figure it out that way. No saying that some fantasies aren’t just batshit, not gonna happen crazy, but you would be surprised what can be a turn and why.
I am glad and honored to have helped at all in better communication between you two. Just wish I had taken my own advice a few years sooner. I could have been having way better sex this whole time!!!
Well PK ate my other post so I will restate that I am honored and glad to have helped you. I find that if any of the fantasies make you wince, get some back up information from them as to why and it will help if anything like that comes up.
Hopefully PK will put back the post I made though. -_-
Guarding hats? For what is that a metaphor? ; )
-
(Member of the Grammar Nazi Squad, remember? No dangling participles here!)
My wang, it rang, went bang bang. Cool Daddio…
.. with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares,
alcohol and cock and endless balls …
Upon the wings of mind expanding aether, my body flies. The breeze splashes on my face like waves in an ocean of bliss. I am weightless, adrift in a sea of empty hopes and false faces. My wang, my only flotation device. Shaken, not stirred. Oh look, a nickel. The dream is every fluid, like the kiss goodnight I left on your sticky face.
Groovy…
Kuro, that would be a “hanging preposition.”
)
Good job avoiding it!
O///O (As always!)
Ah… How I love to give that feeling.
When was that picture taken? If it was Soviet Russia, those hats might be guarding him.