MODERN-DAY NERO
MODERN-DAY NERO: Multitasks while California burns.
Who is that in the picture? Tell us in the Comments
picture: Time. lol caption: jpb
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Real American Hero.
This Bud’s for you! *clink*
You misspelled Nero, dude.
He wasn’t trying to say “Nero” dude. FAIL!
Gotta love the Segue. WANT!!!!
Hey Froo, click my name–tee hee!
Hehe, that’s awesome!
Agreed, that’s excellent!
S-E-G-W-A-Y
product name FAIL
Well, it’s going to fall off into the ocean anyway… Who cares if it’s on fire? It’ll get doused eventually.
Or.. are the fires god’s way of punishing CA for voting yes on prop 8? Hmmmm.
According to Murphy’s Law, everything *east* of the fault will fall into the ocean.
East huh? That’s a lot of stuff to fall in the ocean. xD
Haha it’s the gods’ way of punishing SoCal for being so freaking weird. I just hope SF isn’t next then.
I’m not terribly offended, but why doesn’t anyone say “It’s God’s punishment for voting Republican” every time a state between Texas and Florida gets hit by a hurricane? No, it’s only the Californians who receive divine retribution; the red states are just victims of bad luck!
(pant, pant) Okay, done ranting now.
Because it’s less socially acceptable on the political ‘left’ to presume to know god’s judgment. The sort of Khristianists who do that are cluster(fsck)ed in the right wing.
Sorry, Mark and Slan, but even the third coast is not immune from disdainful Khristian scrutiny. (link)
Exactly. It’s cluster(fsck)ed on the right, as I said.
That was me screwing up. I was being lazy, making the same comment to you both. I wanted you to see the link, too.
Okay, point made. : )
Like when Wile E. Coyote saws off the branch and the tree falls down?
If I had a nickel for every time that happened to me… *sigh*
And don’t even get me STARTED on the rocket-powered skates!
…or that flippin’ cliff! You would think I would put a trampoline down there… Hey, wait! … Nah!
Dude cant forget the fricken cliff tunnel paint!
Why is this giant rubber band around my waist? And what is it attached to?
Coyote vs. Acme lawsuit:
`
http://www.jamesfuqua.com/lawyers/jokes/coyote-acme.shtml
`
Long, but worth it!
That’s what she said.
Totally giggle-ful! Thanks for the larfs!
)
Dunno, Froo, but, whatever it is, if you survive, you can sue Acme Co. for big bucks!
Wow, Tessie–Great minds think alike! Your post wasn’t up when I wrote my response. Possibly your link hung it up?
Caption FAIL?
no, Nero is right
either that or Inspector Gadget!
Nope, Nero played the violin while Rome burned.
Not really, but…history gets distorted sometimes!
He was probably taking a dump and in those days a euphamism for dump was playing the violin…
“where is Nero? ROme is on Fire?”
“He’s playing the violin, if you know what I mean.”
hahaha i would have lol’d if everyone wasn’t asleep already…
Who, for certain, knows today whether he did or didn’t? If he did, the story’s better, and as the most important materia is narrativiium, I’d go for that.
)
Yeah, the story can tell you far more about the minds and attitudes of people at the time than the bare facts can.
Or so the idiom goes. : )
Don’t you mean axiom?
(I’m sorry, I can’t help myself…)
Except the fiddle/violin hadn’t even been invented yet, and in fact Nero wasn’t even in town when the great fire happened. As soon as he found out about it, he rushed back to town, arranged food for the refugees, and opened up his palace to them. When the are that was burned was being rebuilt, he made sure less flammable building materials were used. But his political opponents spread distortions and outright lies to make it look like he’d done a horrible job instead of a good one.
In other words, he was swift-boated.
Oh noes!! Not another Librul!!!
)
Welcome aboard, Hotsauce.
Of course you leave out the part where he blamed the Christians, burned them, crucified them and threw them to the dogs.
Yup. Swiftboated.
The account you quote (one of 2) was written by Tacitus who was 9 at the time and lived through the fire. The other account to survive mentions that he played his lyre while it burned. Now when you take into account that that lyre fell out of fashion and most people wouldn’t know what it is I’m sure you can agree that the violin fits in nicely as modern day substitute.
I understand it was “just coincidence” the areas burned were areas where Nero wanted to do a few urban renewal projects that had been too unpopular to accomplish before the fires. Does anyone know if there’s any truth to that story?
It’s hard to say, what with the Etruscan-run Media…
Nice one!
I didn’t mention it because it isn’t part of the modern idiom. I mean, nobody says “Nero fiddled while Rome burned, then blamed the Christians because at the time they were a bunch of weirdos that made handy scapegoats” do they? And yes, he was fond of playing the lyre, and since he was away from Rome on business and didn’t know it was burning, there’s no reason for him not to have been doing so. But it sounds better to say “he played while Rome burned!” and let people think what you want them to think. Kind of like saying “I served in Vietnam with John Kerry,” and letting people believe that you knew him and served alongside him, when in fact you were simply in the same country as he was during roughly the same time period. So yes, swift-boated.
Grasp of world history FAIL for you.
A modern-day warrior
Mean mean stride,
Today’s Tom Sawyer
Mean mean pride.
RUSH!! That’s Rush. That song, it’s by Rush.
way to state the obvious
I, for one, was clueless. Not that I will google – or youtube – or whatever-fancy-thing-the-REALLY-HIP-kids-do-today the song anyway.
Oh you should, it’s a great song!
I’ve never understood why Rush has such a fanatical following. They’ve always sounded like a cross between Styx and Led Zeppelin, to me. They’re ok, just not exciting, to me.
I agree, they’re a meh sort of band in my opinion.
YMMV, of course. Rush had a huge influence on rock and progessive rock and I respect their independent style. And their drummer is widely considered to be the best rock drummer of all time, he’s damn impressive.
Your missing Ginger Baker, he established the bar for rock drummers…now, he was a drummer. Also don’t forget Mitch Mitchel, anyone who could keep up with hendrix had to be good. Rush, a decent rock band, I remember buying Fly by Night and Jeff Beck’s Blow by Blow when they came out while I was in college at Mich State, gave fly by night to my roommate, kept Jeff Beck.
And don’t forget Keith Moon!
THE WHO! That drummer. He was in The Who. I know that.
I don’t know that I’m fanatical about Rush, but they do have lot’s of good songs. And yeah, Neil Peart is absolutely legendary on the drums.
Well, I’ve never heard anything by Rush I hated; for me, that says a lot.
True, but then again I never heard anything that I really liked, good background songs but no super standouts.
It’s Saturday night, I’ve got not date, a two-liter bottle of Shasta, and my all Rush mix tape.
LOL–”I’ve got not date”
Gimme some of that *Shasta* you’re drinking! ;o)
Lol, Futurama. Very nice.
I thought overstating the obvious was the purpose of this particular site.
No, the purpose is to put a slightly different spin on pictures who’s original intent was different from the caption presented. Had you perused the site a bit further, you probably would have gotten the idea.
No, the purpose of this site is to post LOLs and then watch the fanboys and trolls become an heroes over unrelated, hyperbolic, and/or inflammatory remarks in the comment section!
yep, pretty much!
LOL!
Hey, is that song by Rush?
I think it is by Rush!
I think it’s Rush, which is cool, unless it’s Rush Limbaugh…That would be so *not* cool! Dood, I think I would puke!
Yep and the song is called “Tom Sawyer”
I was being silly, Eds! ;o) I’ve used “2112″ as a PIN in the past, even.
(Click name)
I dunno, Rho; Limbaugh sings this song, and I think you’ll like it.
Ema, Froo, Eddie- if you like Limbaugh, you’ll find this to be hateful, not funny. Still, to hear Rush tell me things I already believe… wow, just wow!
Funny funny funny.
LMAO!! Oh, mercy!! That was hysterical, but it’s a good thing you put an advisory label on it. Besides running the risk of offending our right-of-center friends, there is another matter: This song could easily become the soundtrack for someone’s famous wang, you know.
No! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Yep, I’m afraid I’ll have to write you up, Sir.
*scritch-scritch-scritch*
Here’s your citation: You are to appear in the court of the Honorable D. Worm on Monday (unless he’s super busy at his real job).
Mark, do you have the lyrics? I tried listening but my hearing really crap and I couldn’t make out most of what was said/sung.
LOL!! Ok, I got the lyrics, and WOW.. I can’t say I’m that big on Rush. I used to be, but not so much anymore.
The funniest part of the song is that they edited actual Rush audio to make it sound convincingly like he actually sang the song!
I was impressed by what a painstaking chore that must have been. I’m sure whoever populated that database came away with bleeding ears. Come to think of it, that may be what’s wrong with Ed’s hearing… (Yes, I’m a stinker!)
That’s hilarious! Thanks!
No, his mind is not for rent
To any God or government.
Always hopeful, yet discontent,
He knows changes arent permanent,
But change is.
among the best lyrics ever written…
“I made a huge mistake …”
I like your caption more than mine.
ha! arrested development win
ROFL.
Slight correction (I don’t mean to nitpick, but I become overly nitpicky when drunk) _ “I’VE made a huge mistake.’
Yeah, but what else would you expect from GOB Bluth?
I was just going to post the same thing
This is what happens when you do magic tricks–um, I mean ILLUSIONS.
I guess that cufflink flamethrower finally went off…damn things never work when you want them to…
awesome.
I want to make the cover of Poof! magazine!
I should be in this Poof!
Hey… If I was living there and had a segue, that is pretty much exactly what I would be doing (I couldn’t properly call anyone, since no one friggin’ answers when I phone ‘em).
QQ
That’s why we have texting!
Goddamnit dad…I told you everyone would think you were a douche with your BlackBerry.
IMHO, we ought to have let Mexico keep California; it has been more trouble than it has been worth. Ditto Texas.
Speak for yourself.
Ditto Froo.
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D@mn, that felt weird!
That’s right, you’re not from New England.
New England wants you anyway.
Awww! What a sweet thing to say!
So, you’ve never had a hankerin’ to don a Stetson and scoot a boot?
You never wanted to wear a peacoat and knit cap, eat a bowl of (white) clam chowder?
That sounds like fun. Oh, and it would be neat to see one of those cool lighthouses, too!
When I was a kid my parents used to stand watch at the Coast Guard radio station at the Lynde Point (Old Saybrook inner harbor) lighthouse. Saybrook Outer was automated by that time, and at high tide the jetty had about an even chance of being underwater.
Lovely view from Lynde Point. The light itself is automated of course, but with the ship to shore radio chatter for company and that splendid view, those were some wonderful days.
None of my posts are appearing! At any rate, here’s a funny:
.
US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.
CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!
US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!
CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
I’d love for that to be a true story!
Here’s another one I wish were true:
.
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight.
The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.
The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: Thats what theyre there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect youre right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Qantas has been having lot’s of mechanical problems lately though. Still no crashes, but lots of flights aborted for one reason or another.
Love those, Rho!
Ed, I suspect that’s why they’ve got a bulletproof safety record, when they find a problem they don’t shrug and fly anyway.
No, that’s true. They have had some pretty serious incidents lately but they still managed to get the planes down without any injuries.
@ PM: Thanks!
)
P: Midget called, wants hammer back.
S: Not gonna happen.
P: Live bugs taste terrible
S: Warning sign up saying not to eat mothballs.
Lovett reference?
That’s what I’m thinking, too.
K, sure, and in this imaginary world, does Mexico also get to keep the rest of the land that Texas gave to America to pay off our debt to y’all? ‘Cause that’s a significantly larger part of America than I think most people realize. I mean, yeah, it’s not *huge*, but it does include areas or OK, KS, NM, CO and WY.
I’ll defend CA, too, if no one else stands up for it, but I’ve had a bit to drink and will have to do it tomorrow…
Texas-giving-land-to-America fail.
Somebody just got to the worm in the bottom of the tequila bottle.
In fairness, Jessi’s statement stands, as an oversimplification of what actually happened. Land, including the states mentioned, was ceded to the U.S., and Texas did have a $10 million debt, but:
The annexation resolution has been the topic of some incorrect historical beliefs—chiefly, that the resolution was a treaty between sovereign states, and granted Texas the explicit right to secede from the Union. This was a right argued by some to be implicitly held by all states at the time, and until the conclusion of the Civil War.
And yet we STILL have those who believe in the Republic of Texas. I’ll give ‘em credit for sticking to their guns, even if it does mean swallowing up half of another state.
Cute, New Mexico Dude!
ROT peeps freak me out. At first, I thought they were just trying to justify tax evasion, but they seem to be serious. They make an interesting point about the statehood being done in error, but, admittedly, I’ve never checked it out.
There was a write-up years ago on them and what they were trying to accomplish. They are one dedicated and scary group. And people think Republicans are nutty!
They definitely have their nut clocks wound up tight, certainly! That said, Dear, just because you can point to someone further off the track does not mean that you aren’t derailed. ~.0
“I’m going off the rails on a crazy train..”
*commences head banging*
Ozzy! Ozzy! Ozzy!
Yeah, love the Oz!
)
It kind of looks like Dr. Cox from ‘Scrubs’
Why would you say that, Glenda?
Aah, how Ive missed CA. Moved away two years ago and haven’t been back to visit in at least 6 months… Seeing this picture, however, brings it all back to me. Well-to-do folk with high tech gizmoes and gadgetry standing by, blissfully portraying helplessness, in the midst of crisis. “Someone else should be ascending from the heavenly PDA store in the sky to deliver me in MMS format from this evil that roars before, to a better, less conflicted place… perhaps Vegas!” Don’t worry, CA. We wouldn’t want you to get your hands dirty taking care of yourselves…
so the “masked rider” is Neil Peart?
Very clever.
well done.
Why?
It’s from the ‘don’t get mad, get even’ dept….
What’s that? Does it spam you back? Does it do something evil if you click on her address?
I’d give you very long odds indeed against the linked e-mail address actually belonging to the poster.