Fun with politics and news! Covering Lol Politics and Lol News. Breaking news — lol-style.

Show Only: News | Democrats | Republicans | Media

 

« Previous Hello… Pizza Hut? Are you still hiring? | Meanwhile, at the retirement reception for Senator Larry Craig… Next »

VIRGINS


Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures

VIRGINS
They’re so easy to spot.

Who is that in the picture? Tell us in the Comments

picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: liberalcheezburgerssuck

ยป Recaption This

Incorrect source or offensive?
Reddit This
Stumbleupon This
Post This to Facebook

Add this to your blog:
(Copy & paste code)

» 686 Comments

  1. Slashydutchie says:

    I have to say… the “And mormons” sorta made me chuckle… as did the haircut. The combination triggered a small lol.

    • jack mehoff says:

      Child molesting homosexuals is on the list… but child molesting HETEROsexuals are not on the list. So they’re ok?

      And drunkards are on the list, but Jesus himself turned water to wine. WTF was up with that?

      And seriously… SPORTS NUTS? So if you like to ski, you’re going to hell, but if you have heterosexual relations with a child, you’re ok…

      So many things to question there…

      • AC says:

        You’re not necessarily a drunkard just because you drink wine.
        Dinna be wide.

      • Confoozled says:

        And here I thought it was the homosexuality that got these folks teed off…I guess if I stop molesting kids, I’m in. Sweet! Plus, y’know, you don’t have to listen to all those sports nuts going on and on about yesterday’s game.

        • Amoond says:

          So I can be homosexual or molest children of the opposite sex and be ok? Its only if I do both that I am sinning? So…if I am homosexual for adults and hetero for children I’m safe?

          I love it when radicals don’t proofread.

      • mothergoose says:

        Don’t forget “Rebellious Women” like Rosa Parks, Susan B. Anthony…

        • ck says:

          Ya, he’s probably one of those who thinks that women should know their place and keep their mouth shut. I don’t know why women get married to guys like that and put up with that crap.

          • froofrou says:

            Speaking as a woman who almost got married to a man like that, when you’re in that situation, you’re so emotionally beat down that you don’t realize what’s going on, and even if you did there is nothing you could do about it. I was lucky I got out when I did.

            • ck says:

              Was it one of those situations where the guy starts off nice and gentleman-like and then devolves over time to his current state? Because I can see a woman getting stuck in that situation, but less so if the guy’s a d*ck upfront. The guy in the pic sure seems like an upfront d*ck to me…

            • Seth says:

              Good for you, froofrou. Glad you discovered that you really are worth more than that and got out of a bad situation.

            • rhorho says:

              Yes you were *very* lucky, and so was I! It’s amazing how gradual the progression goes. Mine wasn’t physical, until the very end. (That’s what snapped me out of it, acutally.) It took him about two years go from dream-come-true to the point where he said, “If I were you, I would commit suicide.” Looking back, I remember times when he overstepped, but he would always back off, then press back. The kicker was how all of the people he kept around him telling me how lucky I was…*sound of fingernails on slate*

              • froofrou says:

                Mine never got to physical abuse *hugs* I wish that no woman ever had to go through that!
                -
                Mine never got to the point where he wanted me to kill myself, but that was probably the next step. Mine kept accusing me of cheating on him, even though he knew where I was and what I was doing at all times.
                -
                Yours had people telling you how lucky you were? Geez! *hugs again* I’m glad you got out!

                • I always develop a twitch when I hear these stories because I lack the capacity to go on the killing spree needed to remove some of these relationship tumors. *sigh*

                  I will never understand how somebody can take a cuddly woman and think it is a good idea to destroy them…

                  • n8 says:

                    Amen to that, brother.

                  • Minerva146 says:

                    Even I have one of these ex s. He’s constantly accuse me of cheating because the bedsheets might be rumpled. He was with me the whole time, but assumed I’d somehow found a spare 30 seconds and used it to cheat on him. Nothing like getting berated for cheating after having sat on the bed to put on shoes or what have you. It was awful. I have a great guy for a husband these days.

                  • The L says:

                    Some men think women can’t protect themselves, and get overprotective, assuming every guy friend a girl has is out to get her. This kind of emotional abuser can be recognized by his distinctive call:

                    “I trust you, I just don’t trust him.”

                • rhorho says:

                  He knew you weren’t cheating. Mine did that, too. It’s just a device to keep you on the defensive, always trying to prove your devotion. His best friend once told me not to “egg [him] on so much.”

                  @froo *hugs*

                  • Confoozled says:

                    Well, you two certainly dispel the myth that “you’d have to be stupid to end up in that situation.” Psychopaths are scary, scary things.

                    • I remember the science quirk about the frog in a pan of water. If you heat it up too fast, he jumps out. If you heat it gradually, he will just sit there as it gets warmer and warmer until he boils to death.

                      • rhorho says:

                        OMG–That’s a perfect illustration!

                        • Minerva146 says:

                          I concur. Usually it was just not worth the confrontation and the verbal abuse so you put up with a lot of crazy sh*t. My ex was bi-polar as well as psychotic/sociopathic. much fun–not!

                        • I am going to apologize on behalf of my fellow crazy people. I am sorry for the woes you have suffered. -_-

                          *hugs you both*

                        • rhorho says:

                          To further the frog illustration, you have to make the frog think that any discomfort from the heat is the frog’s fault; that if the frog doesn’t do anything wrong, the heat will decrease.

                        • Minerva146 says:

                          Thanks DWN. It’s water under the bridge now thankfully. I’ve got a keeper these days!!

                        • Excellent. Nice to hear of a man that knows how to keep his woman happy. We aren’t that numerous so it is good to hear we aren’t extinct yet.

                        • Minerva146 says:

                          He’s off hunting so as to be a good provider. LOL. He plays D&D (and 40K, but I’ll let that slide) and is good to his kids. He’s responsible too, but not in an uptight sort of fashion. Plus he’s our band’s drummer on Rock Band.

                          No not extinct. I know there’s at least a few good ones out there. Cheers to you and Lynn.

                        • Thanks love. Does sound like a keeper.

                        • Minerva146 says:

                          Hehehe, now I just have to remember that when he annoys me by snoring, or leaving the shower curtain open. LOL

                        • stepnerd says:

                          This has been a great conversation to witness at the end of (in Australia) White Ribbon Day -the international day for the elimenation of violence against women. I hope all my American friends will continue their commitment to speaking out against violence towards women by wearing a White Ribbon when they get up on Tuesday!!
                          Click my name for info.

                • eddiepscetti says:

                  And just so there is no misunderstanding, abuse can also be directed at men. My first marriage was a real scorcher. It never was physical, but she certainly had the mental abuse down cold. Same as froo, accusations of cheating even though there was no way that could happen. Or we would have an argument and I’d go off to the other room to sleep and would wake up in the night with her standing over me with a knife. Funny thing is, for the first 15 years things weren’t so bad, but I think time took it’s toll on her mental capacity and she ended up as a complete loon.
                  -
                  So even though I’m a man, I can relate to stories of abuse, physical, mental, or verbal. It’s a horrific situation for anyone and takes a lot of intestinal fortitude to walk away.

                  • Jane St.Clair says:

                    *gives eddie a hug* You’re good people eddie!

                  • froofrou says:

                    Ugh! That’s horrible! I’m glad you got out, Eddie *hugs*

                    • eddiepscetti says:

                      Thanks for the *hugs, both of ya!
                      -
                      The worst part about it is, even her own sons barely tolerate her. Just to give you an idea of how twisted the woman is, when my mother passed away in September she cracked the sh*ts because she wasn’t mentioned in the obituary. Her rationale was she was the mother of my sons (who WERE listed) and that by rights she should have been also. My reply was, “We’re divorced, get over it already!”
                      -
                      Talk about a wing-nut.. she honestly should be standing next to this kid in the picture.

                      • All the abuse in my life has come from women. Even had a recent fiasco with a woman whose mental issues resonated way too closely to my own so it just brought us both down. Very messy and a new scar, which is technically my fault. Least I have a reminder.

                        • Terran says:

                          (My post keeps getting eaten. If this appears a 3rd time, I is sorry. :-( lol)

                          Yeah, I’m one of those men who have been in an abusive relationship, and been abused. I’ve been married twice. First one ended up becoming physically abusive about 6 months into the marriage. And the abuse lasted for about 6 months. She pretty much decided I was a good punching bag, with which to vent her frustrations out on, no matter what it was. However, no matter what ti was, it was always my fault. Even things that happened to her in her life long before we had ever met. My second wife? Well, she did the constant emotional manipulation crap. Not to mention being very psychologically abusive. Thank the gods that marriage only lasted about 3 months. Heh. I managed to get out of it before it became worse. So, I’m one of these guys who knows what it’s like to be in an abusive relationship. The abuser does it slowly, of course. Building up to it, slowly trying to trip away at your self worth, your esteem.

                          I’m just glad I found a woman that not only is open and completely honest with me, but values communication, too. Plus, she treats me the way I finally realized I deserve to be treated. With love, and respect. :-D

                          And for you wonderful ladies (and men) who have been through the hell you’ve been through? Not only does my heart go out to you, but you have my hugs, and congratulations for getting out of it before it became too late. :-)

                  • rhorho says:

                    *hugs Eddie* It’s not a gender thing. It’s a brain thing. You are just as much a survivor as the others who have spoken up on here.

                  • Terran says:

                    Yeah, I’m one of those men who have been in an abusive relationship, and been abused. I’ve been married twice. First one ended up becoming physically abusive about 6 months into the marriage. And the abuse lasted for about 6 months. She pretty much decided I was a good punching bag, with which to vent her frustrations out on, no matter what it was. However, no matter what ti was, it was always my fault. Even things that happened to her in her life long before we had ever met. My second wife? Well, she did the constant emotional manipulation crap. Not to mention being very psychologically abusive. Thank the gods that marriage only lasted about 3 months. Heh. I managed to get out of it before it became worse. So, I’m one of these guys who knows what it’s like to be in an abusive relationship. The abuser does it slowly, of course. Building up to it, slowly trying to trip away at your self worth, your esteem.

                    I’m just glad I found a woman that not only is open and completely honest with me, but values communication, too. Plus, she treats me the way I finally realized I deserve to be treated. With love, and respect. :-D

                    And for you wonderful ladies (and man) who have been through the hell you’ve been through? Not only does my heart go out to you, but you have my hugs, and congratulations for getting out of it before it became too late. :-)

                    • Graham says:

                      My ex wife sounds like both of yours rolled into one. I still haven’t mustered up the enthusiasm to go looking for another one.

              • rhorho says:

                Luckily, I had done some volunteer work at a local Women’s Shelter. Once the physical abuse started, I sobered up. After I got him out of my apartment, my best friend (the last one he grudgingly *let* me have) was instrumental to my sanity. I told her what happened, then she made the casual observation, “No wonder Jezebel [my cat] avoided him.” I have never forgiven myself for subjecting my cat to that man! Jezebel is 20.5 years old now, btw. *prideful beaming*

                • If i ever treated Brandi like that, I would kick my own ass

                  • It would be a curved dagger and bathtub treatment if I caught myself acting like that. I won’t tolerate that kind of behavior, especially from myself.

                    • Angela della Muerta says:

                      …and what exactly is…?
                      *shakes head*
                      Never mind, I think I’d rather not know.
                      I have precious little innocence left, I’d better preserve what there is of it.

                      • n8 says:

                        It’s probably the easiest way to send yourself into your final sleep.

                        • slanagat says:

                          Not easiest, just efficient, minimal cleanup and no loud noises to disturb the neighbors and bring unwanted EMS.

                        • I always planned on it being slow and painful, in front of a mirror. So no, not easy. Just less hassle for somebody else to clean up later.

                        • n8 says:

                          Frank Pentangeli would beg to differ. According to him (in the movie Godfather II) you just draw a nice warm bath, open your wrists, and just drift off as you bleed out. Granted that’s from a movie and therefore possibly romanticized, but that’s as close as I’m getting to the experience!

                        • Never mentioned warm water, just mentioned a tub. Besides, you would want to use cold water to numb your arm. Warm water is relaxing but I can imagine it would sting if you didn’t slice deep enough to get a nerve.

                          I will spare you my thoughts on exactly how I would do it.

                • Minerva146 says:

                  Oh yeah, I remember that part. Not being allowed to have any friends was one of the worst things.

                  • rhorho says:

                    That’s a hallmark: Isolation = Control.

                    • The L says:

                      The sad part is, we often don’t realize that’s what’s going on right away. In my case, it took some caring friends to snap me out of it and realize that I was being emotionally abused. It also didn’t help that I knew he’d been abused by his stepfather as a kid, and thus felt pity for him (Ladies, any man who tries to control you does NOT deserve your pity).

                      I don’t talk to that ex anymore. I don’t think my sanity could take it.

                  • Kuromisa says:

                    *nods* I won’t pretend I’ve gone through anything like you all have, but in my last relationship, that was the first order he laid down. Thankfully, he got bored of me quickly. He found a girl that was better-endowed than me, and suddenly I wasn’t so interesting.

                    • rhorho says:

                      I *hope* you sent him a thank-you note! ; )

                      • Kuromisa says:

                        I did…kind of. I sent it by way of his new girlfriend and told her she might want to read it before she gave it to him. >:)

                        • viking gal says:

                          Good for you!
                          I’ve only experienced relavitely mild emotional abuse.
                          If a guy ever says ‘I’m not worthy of your love!’, run like hell. He’ll eventually decide to take you down to his level.
                          And like the other gals above, I’ve found someone much, much better. They ARE out there!
                          –and by the way, it is so much better to be without a guy, than to be with some schmoe who doesn’t treat you with respect. I did the solo thing for a long time, in the process learning what I liked to do without some dude to influence my opinion. And had a good time with friends and work during that period. I don’t regret it at all.

                        • slanagat says:

                          How about if a guy says “I want to be worthy of your love and I’m working at it every day of my life”?

                        • froofrou says:

                          RUN AWAY. Especially if that comes after a fight.

                        • rhorho says:

                          @viking gal: Not all of the gals above found a man, but I did “find someone better:” myself. There’s nothing wrong with being alone.
                          @slanagat: I think froofrou got it wrong *just this once.* The message depends on the messenger, and you’re a good ‘un in my book! : )

                        • froofrou says:

                          Just remember my qualifier: “after a fight”. I heard that crap too often not to look at it with a seriously healthy skepticism : )
                          -
                          To be fair, though, my hubby tells me all the time how much he wants to treat me right, and then he FOLLOWS THROUGH, which is the litmus test in my book. If all the guy is doing is saying it, and no action follows, then he’s crap : )

                        • rhorho says:

                          I think you *both* found keepers! ; )

                        • viking gal says:

                          @rhorho: I agree. Being alone, and finding that you like yourself is very, very important. Even if you meet someone good, you still spend a lot of time in life with yourself for company.
                          I was solo for 15 years, and developed the ‘brownie theory of life and relationships’. I’m a brownie. Brownies don’t need icing. In fact, the wrong icing can ruin the whole brownie experience. Only accept value-added icing!
                          Friends are essential. Romance? I’m loving it now, he’s a great guy. But I had a good life in those 15 solo (with friends) years, too!

                  • slanagat says:

                    My sweetie is safely out of a marriage like that after 18 years and two kids. At my /b/e/g/g/i/n/g suggestion, she just had a full medical checkup, which she hadn’t done in well over a decade because she didn’t care whether she lived or died.

                    At times I feel such unvarnished hatred for the rest of my gender….

                • froofrou says:

                  My biggest problem was that I went back to him at least 3 times. I’ve heard a statistic that says a woman in an abusive relationship has to leave on average 9 times before it ‘took’. My best friend at the time (who I am married to now) kept trying to get me to stay away from him and kept trying to talk some sense into me. Thank God for him! He got me out of that situation and sent me back to my parents to work things out with them.

              • sigh says:

                Speaking from experience, this can happen to guys too. In the exact same words even. 8/

      • rhorho says:

        I thought the same thing about “Lewd Women.” What are all of those poor lewd straight men to do? I bet that kid wants a lewd woman to slap some of that gel out of his hair…

      • Hammy_Wi says:

        I thought the sports nut thing was kind of weird too. Maybe it’s because I’m watching football on Sunday instead of going to church. I know I read somewhere that Jesus loves the Packers….so I guess I’ll be ok.

      • i_tego_arcana_dei says:

        so as a non-child molesting homo i’m ok? thank the f*g gods!

      • Jenaroo says:

        Drinking isn’t considered the sin. It’s intoxication. (Jesus didn’t do that at a frat party.)

        • froofrou says:

          No, He just brought the keg and supplied the already drunk guests. Jesus was an enabler : )

          • rhorho says:

            My hyper-religious mother explained to me that “wine” meant “grape juice,” so Jesus didn’t make an intoxicating beverage, after all. (I think that explanation gets her to sleep at night.)

            • froofrou says:

              Tell her I said ‘Horse Crap’ : )
              -
              My dad, who is a preacher and a historian, both Bible and otherwise, even admits that it’s wine. And apparently, according to the same texts that these nitnuks quote all the time, it was ‘the good stuff’! How’s that!

            • The L says:

              In my Bible class in second grade at a small private Christian school, I argued with the “wine at Cana was actually grape juice” myth.

              Stupid substitute teacher misread the cards–which were carefully worded so as not to offend anybody–and said “Drinking alcohol is a sin,” rather than “Drunkenness is a sin.” Catholic girl in the front row raises her hand and says, “Then how come every week at church, Mommy and Daddy go up to get wine for Communion?”

              After a trip to the office and a parent-teacher conference, I learned not to correct the grown-ups, and the sub learned that when the principal says “Read what it says on the cards,” he doesn’t mean paraphrase.

          • Jenaroo says:

            I repeat, it wasn’t at a frat party. Silly. :P

            • froofrou says:

              It wasn’t a frat party, but it might as well have been. Traditional Jewish weddings sometimes went on for days, and were extremely lavish affairs. Lots of money was spent on everything from food to wine, and by the end of the party, a frat house would seem tame.
              -
              I repeat, Jesus was an enabler :-)

      • Jamieteevee says:

        I am glad that MOST (nearly all) homosexuals don’t make the list. It is kind of harsh on pretty women and jocks though. Thank GOD *weg* he spelled judgment correctly. It might be the very first time I have seen it spelled correctly on a placard.

      • amorealta says:

        This isn’t Christianity. It’s a twisted cult. Don’t be ignorant; real Christians wouldn’t do this and don’t think like this. Don’t define a group by it’s radicals…actually, don’t include the radicals in the group!

        • The L says:

          The sad thing is, most normal Muslims are saying the same thing about the crazy jihadists, and most non-Muslims ignore them.

          It’s hard for outsiders to avoid judging a religion harshly when all they see of it is the crazies who make the news. *hugs* I know most Christians have the common sense not to act like the loser in the photo.

        • McKennan says:

          I agree with both you and the L. People should understand that not all Christians and Muslims are this crazy. And the whole “Whine v.s. Grape Juice” thing -as good discussion as it is- is not as important as the core message of the Gospels. I personally think it was unfermented, because the first time it was suggested in the Bible that the stuff was fermented was with the arrival of the (Highly Cathollosized) King James translation. It’s annoying when one sect of Christianity is proved wrong on something or attacked or contradicts itself, it makes everyone think that way of all Christians. Either way, whine or juice, Jesus gave an important message of love, peace and unity which all Human beings can learn from!

      • photohand says:

        This is his short list:-)

      • Anita Dick says:

        Other Jack Mehoff’s that I’ve met don’t often offer such intellectual input.

      • Cj says:

        Thats what makes it so funny!

    • teebird says:

      He left out “Judgmental, Sanctimonious, Self-Righteous Wingnuts.”

      • rhorho says:

        It’s on the back of the sign, next to his, uh, crotch.

      • Jenaroo says:

        If he claims to be a Christian, he should really stop telling people that he is. We get a bad reputation. We’re taught not to judge others and to leave it up to God, but some little nutjobs never get that message, hence the picture. Then we’re slapped with the label of judgmental hypocrites. Thanks, ya little wanker.

        Though, he looks more like a Jehova’s Witness to me.

        • chez says:

          If I’ve got my sects right then Mormons wouldn’t be on there if he were a JW. Could be wrong, I tend to just slam the door on anyone who comes to my place to tell me my current lifestyle is evil. Nevermind that there’s usually no indication of what my lifestyle is from my apartment door.

          • Sterno says:

            My money is on him being a member of the Westboro Baptist Fellowship. Look up “Fred Phelps” in Wikipedia if you care to torture yourself.

            • PortlandMark says:

              They came to protest a town near here today. Silverton, OR elected a transvestite in his 40’s to be mayor; they came to tell us all we’re going to hell.

              The funny thing is, the new mayor is straight, and has a moderately younger girlfriend. He has boob implants and crossdresses, but he’s still straight.

              • rhorho says:

                I would love to hear how their chants were worded…
                “Burn in Hell, guy with boobs!”
                “Shame on you for confoozing us!”
                “Your girlfriend is a lesbian–or not!”

              • sasamigirl says:

                They came to protest my high school’s commencement ceremony my junior year because the class president had received the Matthew Shepard Scholarship. At the ceremony, the counter-protesters outnumbered them something like 3-to-1 or more. Really made me love the city at the time!
                -
                Someone also ran up and smashed cream pies in the Phelps’ faces. Wish I could have shaken those people’s hands!

                • srab says:

                  they came to the kentucky state capitol to protest when the legislature was voting on a bill to ban protests within some amount of yards of a veteran’s funeral (the measure passed, thankfully – westboro baptist church had been protesting at the funerals of veterans in our state and elsewhere). they had children holding signs that said “God hates f**s” and other such atrocities. beyond that they called my friends, who had organized a counter-protest from my high school, whores. so much hatred :(

          • Angela della Muerta says:

            Some friends of mine were visited by JW’s – in return for the Watchtower, they handed over the house “holy scripture” for perusal… a well thumbed porn mag!
            Most male students may not be classy, but they’re a hell of a lot of fun! :D

          • dropping in says:

            Since they know who is JW, and you are not on their list your lifestyle/religion is automatically wrong- get it?

        • McKennan says:

          Ditto.

          “I can has cheezburger?”
          -Happycat

      • empath says:

        Oh, no – *HE’S* on the sign, too: “Two-Faced People” thanks to his stating “F__se Religions” and “Mormons”. :)

        But then, the POINT of the whole exercise he’s mentioning is that *EVERYONE* undergoes Judgement; not just the groups he lists off…

    • Chels says:

      …because Mormons aren’t Christian and stuff. Even though their church is called The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints. Heck, Christ is even in the title.

      I chuckled too. :)

    • Paul says:

      He forgot “atheists”. Jesus f’n Christ, he left out us atheists.

      How in the world did he manage to forget atheists? What the hell was he thinking?

      I’m stunned.

      (or maybe we’re painted in big letters all alone on the back of the sign)

    • charro says:

      How come “lewd men” isn’t up there? Is lewdness ok only if it comes from a man? Also, what is a “rebellious woman”? Pot smoking little devils? Atheists?
      Honestly, this is one of the stupidest signs I have ever seen. Of all the drugs one can do, pot is one of the more tame ones.
      Maybe a rebellious woman is an atheist pot smoking one?

      • srab says:

        no, a rebellious woman is one who doesn’t fulfill her God-mandated role of cooking, cleaning, and child-bearing. heaven forbid!

    • Charlie Foxtrot says:

      he needs a :beer:

    • stephanie says:

      Seriously…Love how a harmless pro life religion is put on the same page as child molesters and baby killers. Please.

  2. Roc says:

    Poor witches, they always get a bad rap….And what is an F se Religion?

  3. Phaelin says:

    Money lovers? Ah, crap.

  4. Marshy says:

    Religious fundies are hilarious. They get scary once they recieve some form of power. This picture is hilarious, and the caption adds to it.

  5. cheschirekat says:

    So…”sports nuts” kind of sticks out. How does that even fit into the theme of this sign?

    • Jenaroo says:

      You’re right. When I saw “sports nuts”, my first thought was: “Is that a new kind of party snack mix or something? I’m going to hell for that?”

    • Paul says:

      Well, where I grew up, we referred to Vince Lombardi as “Saint Lombardi”. Maybe that’s the beef?

      Or maybe the little weirdo had some extra space on his poster and couldn’t think of anyone else to whine about.

    • danielle says:

      probably referring to gambling

  6. BeeBop says:

    Sports nuts….yep, classic sinners, right up there with “Lewd Women” and Mormons…this guy needs to get some really badly!

  7. Ragomeister III says:

    Am not!

  8. Jewna says:

    That sign has ‘Child molesting homosexuals’ on it. What about child molesting heterosexuals? Do they not go to hell?

    • ck says:

      Ya, most child molesters are heterosexuals…

    • rhorho says:

      Yeah, I don’t know why his big sister would leave that wording off…

    • n8 says:

      I thought child molesting homosexuals went into the priesthood, not hell! Learn something new every day…

      • Dash says:

        As far as I hear, they claim to be heterosexual. Same as the men having sex in restrooms with each other. Apparently homosexual activity does not a homosexual make.

        Which raises the question of what does make one homosexual or heterosexual? I no longer believe that either of them really exist — it’s simply a matter of group identification and semantics. Neither term is clearly defined, and there are so many corner cases that break what definitions we do have…

        I think there exist people who are attracted to feminine traits, and other people who are attracted to masculine traits. But when it’s not always clear what sex a person really is, I think it’s hard to claim that sex-specific attraction is more than just in our heads.

        • Confoozled says:

          The whole world is bisexual, with most people clustered on the ends of the hetero- and homo- poles.
          .
          Wow, that sounds like a fun party!

        • n8 says:

          Perhaps it’s to do with what society has come to expect from gay men. There’s a stereotype there (loves to redecorate, comment on fashion, adores showtunes, etc.) that perhaps they don’t wish to be associated with, though they crave the man-love.

        • charro says:

          *ahem* Not to put too fine a point on it, but pedophilia is a psychological disorder. Genuine pedophiles are compelled to engage in sex with children.
          I don’t want to seem like I am defending them, or saying that what they do is ok. Not at all. But genuiniely, these people are pedophiles and cannot help themselves from doing what they do. I feel I have to add the caveat “In most cases, anyway”. They need help just like people with other psychological disorders. Gender Identity Disorder is one that is being more commonly accepted nowadays. People are born feeling they were born into the wrong gendered body and need help to attain some kind of balance with it. Some people change sexes. Some just live as the gender they feel they should. And so on.
          In our society, sex with children is condemned, mostly due to Christian ethics. That is why pedophilia is not only a disorder, but one that disgusts most people. In many societies around the world, past and present, having sex with an adult was a rite of passage. It was also acceptable.
          Again, by no means do I think people should go about molesting children. Not at all. I just can’t help but feel badly knowing that people who cannot help themselves, and know it is wrong, are condemned instead of helped.
          No, I have no proposal on what “treatment” should be for pedophiles, it’s not my area of expertise. The only thing I do know for certain is any psychological or psychiatric disorder really has no “cure”. Only maintenance.
          I’m not at all making light of anyone’s situation, and I really hope that I have not offended anyone. I just had to point that out.

          • PortlandMark says:

            I have to disagree. Their disorder may control who they’re attracted to, but it can’t compel them to act. It’s possible for anyone to control their urges, particularly in a case where acting is so obviously wrong.

            • charro says:

              It is possible to attain a matter of degree over the impulses, you are correct. But as with most mental disorders, it’s not something most people are cognizant of and it can compel them to act.
              Consider the heroin addict who robs a store to get money to get more drugs. He knows the act is wrong, he knows the drug is wrong, but he is compelled to act on it.
              Consider the person with OCD who must wash their hands 100 times a day. While not illegal, they are compelled to do it. They cannot simply “stop”.
              Consider the depressed person who repeatedly tries to commit suicide. The disorder compels them to do it.
              To attain a measure of control over your urges, first you have to understand why you have the urges. Then you must learn coping mechanisms. The vast majority of people simply cannot learn to “ignore” or “control” what their mind tells them to do.
              The mind is a powerful thing and it can compel people to act on their urges, no matter how deviant they may be.

              • Well there still remains the issue of society versus the person. Compulsion or not, the heroin addict still goes to jail for their crimes committed for their compulsion to get heroin. A child molester will still be locked up for molesting children. You also can’t help a person who doesn’t want to be helped. If they seek help before they commit a crime, fine, I can accept that and usually society can too and get them that help.

                If they just commit crimes and then fall back on compulsion as justification, then lock them up and be done with it. I have suicidal depression and I have avoided therapy. However, I take steps to keep myself out of that state of mind. I control my urges and my mental issues as best I can.

                If my urges compelled me to hurt my children, I would do something about it before it happened. It is called personal responsibility. I realized that I had a problem and took steps to amend it. If I find myself outside of what I can handle, I will take further steps.

                • charro says:

                  You are forgetting that not everyone has the same brain that you do. Not everyone is aware of their problems.
                  Ask a schizophrenic who is not on their medication and they will tell you they completely believe that their delusions are real.
                  Most people don’t know they have a problem until it causes a problem. Not everyone is like you, so it is unfair to judge them by holding them up next to you.
                  I quit using drugs on my own. Full blown addiction to cocaine, meth and alcohol. My husband cannot (on his own). It took me a very very very long time to accept that he is not me and I cannot expect him to behave and work like me.
                  Yes, people should be punished for their crimes. And people who genuinely want to be helped deserve help, whether it is before or after they commit a crime. Compulsion is not a justification for a crime, by any means. I did not say that at all. I think you are misreading me as this is obviously a hot button for you.
                  There are pedophiles in prison who desperately want to be helped. I have read cases where they have begged to be chemically castrated before being let out on parole and the judge will not do it. They have begged to not be let out because they know they will do it again, but they are released anyway due to the judicial system. Should we deny them help because they have already committed a crime?
                  Prison is supposed to help convicts rehabilitate to rejoin society. It does not do this. But the prison system is a separate issue.
                  A compulsion is a compulsion no matter what personal responsibility you put on it. I am well aware you cannot help a person unless they want to be, but that is not a justification to just give up on the group or problem as a whole.

                  • If they seek help, they can get it. If they want further help after being released from prison, they can check into an asylum. They can also check into therapy. Your husband needed help and I assume he got it right? He went for it, did he not?

                    Begging for chemical castration wouldn’t help anyway. The compulsion is mental, doesn’t mean it will stop an attack.

                    Then again, perhaps you are talking to the wrong person. I believe certain people need to be removed. A rabid animal can’t help itself but that doesn’t mean we still don’t put them down if they are beyond help. Humans are no better or worse. If the cancer can be treated, fine. If not, remove it.

                    • charro says:

                      But this is something you cannot apply to a group as whole. It’s a case by case basis. If there is someone who is in prison for child molestation, shows no remorse, gets out on parole, does it again, shows no remorse; I agree. Cancer should be removed. If there is someone wanting, or begging or help, we should try to help them. If there is someone simply confused “Why do I want to have sex with children when all my friends want to have sex with our peers?”, we should help them.
                      I feel we are obligated as a society to help those who want it. Honestly, I don’t believe we as a society can help many people until we understand truly what mental disorders are. We are too caught up in our own predjudices and views of pedophiles, addicts, schizophrenics etc.; and in our own lives. We tend to think “well, I can do it, why can’t s/he?” Understanding is not the same as condoning. If you understand that this guy is in jail because he has this problem and he wants to be helped, then it’s easier to help him. If you see that this guy is in jail because he is “bad”, then it will be hard to help him because you cannot get over the judgement of “bad”; and may think he deserves to be there and rot there forever. Some people do, but not all of them.
                      Yes, they can get help. It’s not always easy though. The mental health system in this country is dismal. What I am trying to say is this needs to be recognized as what it is: a disorder. We should be trying to figure out ways to help them instead of saying they deserve to rot in jail. As we try to figure out ways to help people with other mental disorders.
                      My husband did get help, but it took many years for him to even realize that he had a problem that was beyond his control. Much self destruction and many legal problems. He is paying for his crimes and is also actively seeking help. This is an opportunity that should be offered to everyone. Pay for your crimes and seek help as well. Not just pay for your crimes.

                      • And… Pedophiles are given those options. I don’t see where they aren’t. If they seek help, they can get it. They don’t need to be in jail to get help if they already served their time.

                        They can ask for help in jail. Do you have instances where they aren’t?

                        • charro says:

                          I don’t and I’m not meaning to imply that there are. Just that as a society at large, we don’t try to help them, only condemn them. Because, as a society, we do not understand mental disorders.
                          You started out by condemning them and are now agreeing with me that they should be helped if at all possible.

                        • I still condemn them, to be honest. A pedophile isn’t necessarily a child molester. I have my moments where I am in the mood for young but Lynn in a schoolgirl outfit works just as nice. I assume my form of pedophilia is light as children are very safe around me. I only want them safe.

                          I know pedophiles who don’t act on their urges and are seeking help. My issue is with child molesters and I try to simply say Pedo when I shorthand type.

                          So you haven’t converted me at all. My views are still the same. I have no issue with a child molester going to jail or worse. I feel the same way about a murderer, mental disorder or not.

                        • charro says:

                          So then you have proven my point. If a pedophile commits a crime and becomes a child molester, they have lost their entitlement to help whether they want it or not. That is what I was getting at when I said should we deny them that help in prison or out of prison etc. For you, yes, we should because they committed the crime. Is that correct? After they commit the crime they lose entitlement to help?
                          I have no issue with someone committing a crime going to jail either. But just because they committed the crime does not mean to me that they don’t deserve to be helped.

                        • Kuromisa says:

                          When exactly did he say he opposed getting them help, if they’ll respond to it?

                        • I’m kinda waiting for her to realize that. Weak willed or not, people are responsible for themselves. The world isn’t their hug box. Their actions create very emotionally scarred victims.

                          Also, I do believe I said they should get treatment inside or outside of prison if they will actually go for it or respond to it. Now Charro, you are just making stuff up.

                        • charro says:

                          “A child molester will still be locked up for molesting children. You also canโ€™t help a person who doesnโ€™t want to be helped. If they seek help before they commit a crime, fine, I can accept that and usually society can too and get them that help.”
                          Sometimes people don’t know they have a problem until it causes a problem. Some people don’t know that they need help or want help until they get locked up. After they commit the crime, what happens then?
                          “If they just commit crimes and then fall back on compulsion as justification, then lock them up and be done with it.”
                          I didn’t say compulsion was a justification. At all. If they commit a crime and realize it was a compulsion, what then? So they realize it was a compulsion and would like help. What then?
                          “Well, even rabid dogs and the wolfman get put down for their own good. Pedophilia or not, touch a child and your ass should be killed.”
                          So a pedophile commits the crime, becomes a child molester and gets locked up. Now he realizes he’s sick. What now?
                          That is where you said you are opposed to them getting help. AFTER they become a criminal. Sure you waffled on it and later said they can get help in prison or released, but your original statements show that you believe once the crime has been committed, one loses the entitlement to help.

                        • Actually you can realize you have a problem before you commit a crime but that is call self awareness.

                          Also, while I amended my statements, I still believe they should get locked up for the crime. Period. No leniency. It isn’t like these laws are magically secret before they break them.

                          However, once locked up, I never said they couldn’t get help. As for killing them, well let’s say I am still sympathetic to a parent butchering the twit who harms their kids. I catch you touching my kids, there won’t be due process and I won’t feel guilty about their disorders. I may go to jail but them’s the breaks.

                          So take that as you will. It isn’t hard. Think before you act. Even with compulsions, we are still human and know right from wrong. For those instances where they are too incompetent to know right from wrong, they get locked up and treated as best as possible since treatment won’t help much anyway since they are incompetent.

          • Well, even rabid dogs and the wolfman get put down for their own good. Pedophilia or not, touch a child and your ass should be killed.

            Rite of passage was for girls of an age very close to physical womanhood and they were prepared for it. Not even close to child molestation. Child molestation requires hunting down the prey and ambusing it or if it is close by, just ambushing it.

            So no, your rite of passage point has no impact on the issue.

            • charro says:

              Did I say it did?

              • “In our society, sex with children is condemned, mostly due to Christian ethics. That is why pedophilia is not only a disorder, but one that disgusts most people. In many societies around the world, past and present, having sex with an adult was a rite of passage. It was also acceptable.”

                I was disputing the point of including this bit. We already know why it disgusts us but you add the part about rites of passages in other cultures when the rites are completely different from the issue that disgusts us.

                So if you didn’t expect it to matter, then why include it?

                • charro says:

                  To point out that in a different society, this would be a non-issue. Our views are always shaped by the society we live in.
                  Other societies practice cannibalism and ritualistic killings as well.
                  Also, the rites of passage for girls close to womanhood – this would be a girl of 11 or 12. Womanhood in these cultures means ready to bear a child. Physically, a woman is ready to bear a child when she begins her menstrual cycles. Prepared or not, that falls into the category of pedophilia from a DSM-IV perspective.

                  • Still it is an issue of preparing the children for the rite. It would still be an issue if a man just nabbed a kid and started screwing them. What happens there and what happens here are pretty much two different things.

                    Also, as human beings and advancement if you want to press how other cultures make it okay, other cultures also feel that kids are possessions as are women. But I don’t hear you stating that we should keep women as possessions in the country because of it. Hell in some cultures, you are not a man until you take a patch laced with bullet ants to the arm. Just because another culture does something as a ritual does not mean it should be tolerated here.

                    So while it may be apples and oranges to compare rites of passage to child molestation, it does not validate the practice. So I am wondering still how this helps your argument in anyway.

                    • charro says:

                      I did not say it should be tolerated here. Again, you are misreading me. I don’t even see where you get that I am saying it should be tolerated here. I believe I said, multiple times, in my original post that “I do not believe people should go about molesting children”.
                      Again, what I am trying to point out is that in this society, it is a mental disorder. Therefore it should be treated as such and given the same consideration.
                      In another society, as it could be an accepted practice to engage with sex with children, it would be a non-issue. Not in this society, and I do not believe it should be tolerated. Please stop twisting my words to fit what you want me to be saying.

                      • It is being treated as a mental disorder. They can get treatment. It is given consideration but the crimes enacted are a good deal worse than what occurs with drug addiction so worse things happen.

                        So what more are you really asking for? I’ve already told you what they can do. They have options.

                        If I was a farmer with chickens and coyotes are about, I understand why the coyote wants chickens and that he can’t help himself. Still going to shoot him dead if he comes near them. Same thing with my kids. Yes, I understand compulsion, urges, yada yada. Get treatment, don’t expect mercy if you come for my kids or any kids for that matter.

                        So again, what is your point exactly cuz I am just not seeing it. You are stating things like they can’t get treatment when they can. Perhaps you actually need to have a point.

                        • charro says:

                          My original point was that pedophilia is a psychological disorder. People forget that and they just see child molesters as being evil people. Society, as a whole, does not recognize it as a mental disorder. That’s the end of it.
                          I was responding to Dash saying as far as he heard they “claim to be heterosexual”.
                          You took issue with what I said and have spent this thread trying to make me out to be some kind of pedophile lover who thinks they should all be free and wandering the streets willy nilly.

                        • We already know it is a psychological disorder. So is a number of other mental illnesses that result in a truckload of crimes. Thanks for the obvious. What I took issue is how you were stating this wouldn’t be a problem in another society. I argued that it would and also that it wouldn’t matter about another society since that isn’t justification.

                          If you don’t like your points attacked, then don’t post them. I will call you on issues where you are conflicting with yourself.

                        • charro says:

                          Not everyone knows it’s a psychological disorder.
                          I don’t understand how you are saying I was conflicting with myself. So I didn’t write a whole novel in my original post on how societies shape our view of sex. My original post was to get people to think for a minute. If you don’t like my methods, that’s your issue.
                          You completely misread what I said and tried to say I was using it as justification to tolerate it in this society. That’s not attacking, that is non-comprehension.
                          I believe I have stated my point quite clearly.

                        • No, since it only makes us dislike other cultures. Saying that another culture is doing something we hate and condemn and they do it normally isn’t a very good way to make a bridge there. It just brings up the fallacy of validating a practice because somebody else is doing it.

                          As for noncomprehension… reread what I posted. I attacked the point made and how it doesn’t help your argument since it neither justifies nor supports your claim. I didn’t state what you were out to let child molesters run free. I was stating that it was a point of your argument that didn’t help you in anyway.

                          It conflicted because you were saying crimes should be punished but in other cultures it wouldn’t be a crime. How is that not conflicting with itself?

                        • charro says:

                          And it’s sad that we dislike other cultures for doing things we find out of the norm.
                          Re read my post.. I wasn’t making any claim that it is or is not ok. Just pointing it out. Pointing out it’s a disorder, pointing out in other cultures it’s ok. That’s not a claim, just a “consider this”.
                          If it is conflicting with itself that is because humanity is conflicting with itself. It is not a fallacy to point out in other cultures something is ok if you are not making an argument for or against something. Again, it’s a “consider this”. The world is a vastly different place with vastly different cultures and we all have one thing in common: we don’t understand eachother. We don’t understand why this culture over here does this and why this person over here does that. I find it sad really. We as a culture don’t understand mental disorders. We condemn the people who have them, when they do something we as a culture don’t like. It’s very backwards of us.

                        • It wouldn’t be conflicting if you were trying to say pedophilia is okay as it would create a precedent where it is okay and how it is treated. However, you aren’t saying it is okay, you are just showing us where they are okay with little girls being screwed as a rite of passage.

                          As for mental disorders and how they are understood, yes, that is a problem. However, they can and do get help when they go for it.

                          So unfortunatelly, all your “consider this” did was confuse the matter since you weren’t advocating it but were giving an example where the behavior you aren’t condoning is condoned.

                          That would be like me saying that I am against drugs and during my discussion, talking about a place where drug taking is just fine, then going back to talk about how it shouldn’t be condone.

                          Muddy the waters much? If anything, it was a distraction that took away from your point.

                        • charro says:

                          In this society. It shouldn’t be condoned. Those are the mores of this society.
                          I made a consider this statement, you took it way out of context and I simply agreed with you, crimes should be punished.
                          But I succeeded with my consider this statement, you thought about it. You took it way way way out of context, but at least you thought about it. That’s all I’m trying to do. Get people to think.

                        • You say one thing and give an example of another. Then you come back with how you won because you were just trying to get people to think. I could have sworn you were trying to make a point about pedophilia, my mistake.

                          As for taking it out of context, what context were you actually going for? You keep saying it is to provoke thought but while it does provoke thought, it just distracts from your main point. Telling me that it is okay to screw little girls as a rite of passage in another society does not help build sympathy for child molesters on the whole who target boys and girls, a significant number of which are nowhere NEAR puberty.

                          So yes, you provoked thought and successfully distracted from your own point. Bravo.

                        • charro says:

                          *bows* Thank you.

                        • It takes a certain level to be happy that you messed up your own main point but as long as you’re happy.

                  • Danbala says:

                    “Prepared or not, that falls into the category of pedophilia from a DSM-IV perspective.”
                    .
                    Isn’t paedophilia strictly attraction to children of pre-pubescent (pre-menstrual?) age?

            • Graham says:

              Child molesting = bad.
              Killing = worse.

          • dropping in says:

            Correct- Pedophilia is a disorder- and should be subject to psychological help except (and I have a PhD in psych), they rarely respond to therapy or drug treatment- even castration will not eliminate the urges- sorry for this one, butthat is why lock them up- lock them up forever- someplace safe and rather nice, like Martha got- but away from all the children. And please please please think about the references to Catholic Priests- MANY are wonderful positive role models and community leaders- I had 2 of the BEST men in my life as priests growing up. I left the church for many reasons but not bc of these wonderful men. The true taint of this was the leadership that continued to enable the molestation- and the crime the then perpetrated on all the good men (one of my cousins is in seminary in Rome right now- he is a great kid, and truly has a calling) who are now afraid to chaperon dances or ski trips for fear of making the wrong impression- many left the priesthood bc of comments like this. Sorry- one of my soapboxes- having been raised by great priests- and if they were all like Fr. Don and Tom, well I would still be Catholic (but many bigots in the priesthood too- just like in humanity!

            • charro says:

              75% of all heroin addicts will die heroin addicts. Usually of a heroin overdose. Should we lock them up too or should we keep looking for a way to help them and integrate them back into society?
              Look, all I am trying to say is you can condemn the actions of a person and still try to figure out a way to help them. If something is wrong with their brain, or whatnot, I feel it is our duty as a society and as human beings to try to help them. Not just throw them away. There is little understanding in this world about mental disorders. And even less compassion.

              • Heroin addicts are their own victims with maybe some accomplices. Child molestation has victims who are completely blameless. That is the big difference.

                I am all for helping a pedophile stay away from kids but there is that little problem… Kids are everywhere. So I have the choice between protecting a pedophile from his urges or just protecting my kids. I choose my kids. Call me a barbarian if you like, I’m secure in my choice.

                • charro says:

                  I’m not at all advocating we let child molesters or pedophiles or whatever we want to call them run around free all willy nilly. Not at all.
                  I am simply saying that we don’t have to throw out people whom we deem “unresponsive” to treatment. We could continue to try and find a way to “help” “treat” or “cure” them. If we threw away everyone who was “unresponsive” to treatment we would be a very small group of people.
                  There have been many advances in the treatments of mental disorders. I’m simply advocating the standpoint that this is one, like many others, that we should not give up on.

                  • Yes, they are welcome to treatment away from kids. I believe I already stated that. We don’t treat a recovering heroin addict by not keeping them away from heroin.

                    • charro says:

                      Correct – you help the heroin addict learn to cope with their urges. In some cases we give them medication. In some cases therapy. In some cases in-patient treatment. We teach them how to alter their behavior and recognize their warning signs and triggers to try and keep them from using again.
                      And we try to develop new ways because the ones we have are not 100% successful. But we don’t throw them away because they are resistant to treatment.

                      • No… We only imprison them if they commit a crime. Being a pedophile isn’t a crime. Being a child molester is.

                        If Pedobear attacks a kid, he will be punished. End of story. Treatment can come before or after. He will still pay for the crime.

                        • charro says:

                          I believe I stated this above. Crimes need to be punished.

                        • Then let’s exam your checklist of points.

                          1. Crimes should be punished.

                          Well duh.

                          2. Pedophilia is a mental disorder.

                          Also duh, doesn’t make it any less abberant or “evil” for those with more dramatic flair to their thinking.

                          3. Treatment should be given.

                          Another duh, and they can even get it too if they ask. They can get it inside or outside of prison. Nobody is really stopping them. Also, whatever happened to self reflection in prison as a minor side note.

                          Do you have any other points since we have pretty much covered this?

                        • charro says:

                          Do you?

                        • Not really, I feel crimes are to be punished and help given when asked. When it isn’t asked, it is their ass. However, I did ask you first.

                        • charro says:

                          Nope, my point was to get people to think. I succeeded jusdging by all your waffling.

                        • charro says:

                          *judging

                        • Not really, look above. Getting me to clarify isn’t a success in changing my mind. It is just getting me to clarify.

          • Hammy_Wi says:

            F*ck getting them *treatment*. The only kind of treatment they deserve is to be castrated, stripped naked, staked over an ant hill and drizzled in honey. When an adult knowingly takes a childs innocence they deserve death. That child has to live with that for the rest of their life. You never get your childhood back….EVER. If I seem to take personal offense to this…you’re damned right I do. It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach to hear anyone even remotely sympathizing with a pedophile. Unless you have had to live with something like this, you have no clue. I am a survivor of sexual abuse and thank the good Lord, I’m not ashamed to talk about it with anyone. It took years to even be able to get the words out of my mouth. How willing would you be to just let them get the help they need if it was you, or even worse, your child? There is not helping those people. They are nothing short of monsters.

  9. Steve says:

    Hah!

    This looks like a fun game…Circle all the apply to you and add up the points!

    …Sex Addict

    …Pot Smoking Little Devil

    …Sports Nuts (I only watch the Brewers and Packers…does that count?)

    I get 3 points!

    (I was really disappointed, I thought it said MONKEY LOVERS at first…but alas it says “Money”)

    • adele says:

      I got six points. I love this game!

    • ck says:

      Some of these are hard to qualify though. Take “lewd women” – does that mean someone who is very promiscuous or someone who had sex before marriage? And “rebellious women” could mean just about anything, and “witch” could mean Wiccan or “anything that’s not my brand of Christianity”…

      • charro says:

        CK – just put yourself in his shoes. A lewd woman is a woman who knows anything about sex that she did not learn from her husband. A rebellious woman is a woman who has no husband, or is not supported by her husband, or is otherwise “independent”. Witch you got right – “anything that is not my brand of christianity”.

    • Doubts says:

      7.5 points. (I am lewd, but not a woman)

    • jack mehoff says:

      I got a 5.

      Actually, that’s not true. I lied I got a 4.

      Oh, wait! Now it’s 5! SWEET!

      And when they say “monkey lovers” do they mean people that are fond of monkeys, or people who “love” monkeys? Or was monkey a metaphor, and a monkey lover being somebody who masturbated a lot?

      I could be going up to 6 here…

    • tianashen says:

      *cough* I got 6…

    • I only got a debatable 1… I don’t know how to feel about that.

      • Steve says:

        We established that the word is Money…not Monkey Lover..

        I think you might be in the clear DWN!

        ;)

        • I wasn’t counting that one since I don’t love money. I was counting sex addict as debatable as I could be a sex addict to some. The false religion is subjective but under his terms I am probably both a sex addict and falsely religious. I suppose I could claim money love which would net me Liar as well.

          I could easily get to four if I cheated… XD

      • rhorho says:

        Perhaps you’re not counting “false religion?” I’m sure he thinks every faith and denomination except is is hellbound. That would bump you up to a debatable 2?

        • Debatable 2 but definite 1.

          • Minerva146 says:

            My score depends. I am not sure where I stand on the religion part. I’ve floated between atheism, wicca, other alternative spirituality. Do I get a point for each? If so, I may be at 5, If I only get a point for one, then 3.

            • Your vagina gives you an unfair point advantage in this game. ;)

              • Minerva146 says:

                Yes it does. But we females are pretty much automatically evil to this kid if we do anything but serve as an oven for the his bun.

                • Now you are just flirting with me again…

                  • Minerva146 says:

                    It was the bad grammar, wasn’t it?

                    • Nah, just mentally imaging your oven being bunned in general… >_>

                      Okay, perhaps I am a nondebatable 2 for False religion and sex addict.

                      • Minerva146 says:

                        What if it’s buns AND the oven?

                        Sok, except for the liars, two faced people, child molesters and thieves, most of the things on this list aren’t really negatives. They just sound like an old cher song (gypsies tramps and thieves)
                        Plus, you could probably get a few half points for being in favor of lewd and rebellious women.

                        • So up to a three then. Alrighty, my street cred is looking stronger.

                        • slanagat says:

                          Are we scoring “all technicalities count” like the old Purity Test, or awarding half-points for technicalities? Enquiring minds and all that rot.

                          Could make a big difference. I’m with Minerva on the religion thing so I don’t now whether to take one and two half-points or a full three. Of course I’ve lied, more than once, but not as a habit – full point or half? And I’m in an irish band, so…naaah, that gets me drunkard hands down. ;^)

                          I could be up as high as 8 here.

                        • Jane St.Clair says:

                          Ooooooo, you’re in an Irish band? Thanks for upping my lewd points!

                        • slanagat says:

                          I am indeed. Clicky the name for my band’s web site.

                          (Slan agat is Irish for the form of goodbye that’s said by one who’s leaving to one who’s staying behind)

                        • eddiepscetti says:

                          Traditional or in the style of Flogging Molly?

                        • eddiepscetti says:

                          Oh, Celtic.. Love it! I also like the Irish Folk Songs.. one my favorites is Irish Soldier Laddie.

                        • rhorho says:

                          I like “Rocky Road to Dublin.”

                        • Kuromisa says:

                          *swoons* I looove Celtic music. I play the fiddle a bit myself, but not well. I’m out of practice.

                        • PortlandMark says:

                          @slanagat: Y’all sound good, but I’m afraid that particular song will always belong to Shane MacGowan, for me. ;)

                          That young lady has a great sound for someone so young; I’d love to meet someone with a voice like that who was, oh, about twice her age .

                          Which musician are you?

                          @rorho: Flogging Molly’s cover of “RRTD” is my current favorite song. I always put it in early when I take my mountain bike into the dust. It’s a perfect uphill song!

                          I’ve got a “Flogging Molly” station on Pandora that is about all I’ve listened to for weeks; it even beats my “Leftover Salmon” station.

                        • rhorho says:

                          I’ll be sure to check it out–Thanks! : )

                        • slanagat says:

                          Aw, guys, thanks for the uplift!

                          Ed – Yes, both, and the range in between. Sound samples on the web site and if you click through to Myspace there are five complete tracks to listen to.

                          Kuromisa – What part of the world are you in? There are enthusiastic amateur open Irish jam sessions happening all over the place if you know where to look, welcome to listen and join in when you feel ready.

                          PMark – I understand what you mean about the Pogues tune, but the canonical version in my head is actually Maggie Drennon with Six Mile Bridge (any Houstonians here? Remember Six Mile Bridge or Ceili’s Muse?)

                          I’ve been playing with Calley for about 5 years now and it’s been amazing watching her mature as a performer (minds OUT of the gutter guys!). She’s only 19, her best is still ahead of her.

                          And for the record, I’m the bodhran player and I do the male vocal leads. On the home page, the guy with the laughing skulls bandana.

                        • n8 says:

                          Does your band ever get down into the DC area? The folk/celt-rock scene is pretty hot here, I can just about guarantee a crowd. :-)

                        • PortlandMark says:

                          Wow, I guessed right slanagan! woohoo, my telepathy powers are 100% today!

                • Aussielozzy says:

                  And you can only do that if your married to him… I got 4 and if it’s monkey lovers then I got 5 WOOHOO.

            • i_tego_arcana_dei says:

              wicca=lol

              • Minerva146 says:

                Wicca has some things that = LOL. I wouldn’t count myself a current practitioner, but the things I liked the most about it was the niceness of the people in the pagan community and their tolerance of others, particularly gays, and sexuality in general, etc. Especially compared to most other religions communities. Of their beliefs, I mostly was interested in their interpretation of the “golden rule” so to speak, and revering and respecting the gifts nature gives us. I’m a bit of a tree hugger, so I appreciate the natural world. There are other pagans on this board. I totally respect what they try to be about, even if they may go about it in a [traditionally] unusual way.

                • PortlandMark says:

                  I like the liberal Wiccans, and will take any chance I can get to go to circles. They’re usually very friendly people, and any church that is attended “Sky Clad” is all right with me.

              • BriannaKye says:

                Feeling the need to “lol” and otherwise denigrate and scoff at other religions just because they are not yours only highlights your own lack of strength of faint in your own religion, I_tego. It’s much the way bullies only pick on others because they have no self esteem and need to put others down in order to build themselves up. I feel sorry for you that your faith in your own beliefs is so week that you feel you need to “bully” other religions in order to feel good about yours.

                • The L says:

                  Well, we probably do look a bit silly to others, with the whole dancing-naked-in-a-circle bit, don’t we? Lady knows, I can handle laughter a hell of a lot better than baseless accusations of devil-worshiping and cannibalism.

                  Besides, he may have meant “the inclusion of Wicca in the going-to-hell sign = lol.” His statement is rather ambiguous, you must admit. I prefer not to jump to negative conclusions. That’s how flamewars start.

            • rhorho says:

              Wow. You’re really bad! I used to do some of the stuff on that sign, but I gave it all up. Now I just smoke crack. My score: O!!!

    • Trialia says:

      Heh, wow. 8 and a half.

    • Kuromisa says:

      I ended up with five. Not bad!

    • MadRaven says:

      Well, i’m certainly lewd, but no woman, and while i’m not gay either, i wouldn’t say that i’m completely not-gay (long weird story) I’m neither a mormon nor a child molester or a racist and if i’m an atheist, is that a double whammy for “false religion” (would that be like the “triple-word score” of damnable sins?)…Let me just say that if i was Catholic and wanted to make confession, i’d need to find a priest with about a week to spare on his schedule to hear everything….I score “eleventy” on general principle

    • ginganinja says:

      I get a 2.
      or a 3, depending on how broad his view of Atheists is.

    • Jane St.Clair says:

      I think I’m a 3 or 4. I’m agnostic, which would probably put me in the atheist category. However I was raised Catholic, so I can check off false religions. Got the rebellious woman thing in the bag! I’m just unsure of the lewd women thing, since I’m single, can I get it for lewd thoughts? ‘Cause I have some dirty, dirty thoughs. ; )

    • Helina says:

      Lets see. . .

      Only 5.5 :(

      I should try harder to be a bad person.
      And get more interested in football or something.

    • zomgmissy says:

      I’ve got 3, debatable 4.

    • OctopuSquiD says:

      Let’s see, I get…. a definite 8, possible 9 if I knew what it was that’s circled in red. Can anyone else read that?

    • ElbieSee says:

      Six point five, y’all! (The point five is “witches” – I’ve been accused of being something that rhymes with witch…)

    • PortlandMark says:

      I only get five points. Hey, he’s not all bad: Racists are going to hell too! Now, I’m just plumb confused how to judge this kid.

    • PiMan says:

      1 or 2 points, depending on whether I am the liar in question.
      Otherwise, I am only there as an atheist.

    • charro says:

      I think I got 11 points. I don’t currently smoke pot but have in the past, so I’m sure he includes me in that category. I only lie to, and steal from, right wing religious nutjobs.
      Also, I prefer the term “alcoholic” to drunkkard. Sheesh.
      As always in these situations I’m not sure if I should hold my head up high or hang it in shame.
      Eh, I am who I am. No regrets here.

  10. BettyKrunker says:

    Wouldn’t God judge them for judging others?

    I think belongs in Failblog.

    • Yep.
      Romans 14, Judge not lest ye be judged.
      This vocal minority gives the majority of christianity a bad name

      • The L says:

        I thought it was Matthew 7:1-2?

        Statement about vocal minorities seconded. Most Christians are awesome people, but you’d never know it from looking at the fringe groups out there.

        • froofrou says:

          It is, but the entire chapter of Romans 14 deals with the same thing in greater detail.

          • The L says:

            True, but the “whatever you measure out to others will be returned to you” thing in Matthew 7:2 makes it pretty damned clear that harsh judgements are a BAD IDEA.

      • Jenaroo says:

        After attending many churches, I’ve found that Christianity is turning into this:

        One big “Please fix my life so I don’t have to do it myself” meeting, or a bunch of hateful fanatics who contradict the entire religion’s purpose.

        The % of -real- Christians is diminishing day by day. It’s sad.

      • Angela della Muerta says:

        Also, let he who is without sin cast the first stone… but not until I blow the whistle – even if they DO say Jehovah! ;)

  11. froofrou says:

    Please tell me this is a joke! : )

    • ryszard says:

      Alas, I fear not. I just pulled out of a storage space I had held for four years because the “Christian”–with a capital “K”–male half of the resident managers was abusively rude. My first encounter with him was after Christmas one year, when I asked him what Santa had brought him. “Santa don’t come to our house,” he sneered. “We’re Khristians.”

      As the Blue Collar boys would say, “There’s your sign.”

      (BTW, I was brought up as a mainstream Protestant and, though not active in the religion, I still hold to Jesus’ values as best I can.)

  12. Lala says:

    I’m curious as to what the guy he’s talking to is saying…

  13. telefil says:

    What about us pot-smoking lewd women? We demand equal condemnation!

  14. Seth says:

    Why do fundamentalist Christians focus on God’s judgment? Wasn’t God’s forgiveness the message of the new testament? This is just another form of revenge fantasy. To put this in Christian terms, we were created in God’s image. God has judgment, therefore, we do to. But God is also omniscient and has perfect mercy, which we don’t. Therefore, it is not our place to judge. When we judge, we are claiming, “My opinion is more valid than God’s.” When we make ANY moral judgment, we are placing ourselves above God. Discernment is different. We can discern what is helpful or harmful for ourselves, our family, and society without morally judging the situation. We can take action to correct harmful situations and promote helpful ones. If you lock someone up or kill them because you feel that is most helpful to society, that is one thing. But locking someone up because you want revenge is bad. You can not balance the universe. You can not make things right by inflicting an equal but opposite amount of pain.

    • ryszard says:

      Hi, Seth. Hope you’re well. See my note above. -R

    • ck says:

      Because religion is inherently divisive. Christian vs. non-Christian. Sect A vs. Sect B. Saved vs. sinner. Good vs. evil. Certain people get off on saying “Nyah nyah, I’m going to heaven and you’re not!”

      • The L says:

        Not necessarily. Not all religions believe you have to be “saved” from something. It’s pretty hard to argue that members of other religions are going to a hell you don’t believe in. Study some non-Abrahamitic religions plz, kthx.

    • I will never know the why of it myself, my friend. I am a vengeful bastard but at least I don’t claim God said so. I just believe that actions breed results.

    • Well said. Couldn’t put it any better. I am repulsed by the very loud minority claiming to represent the whole

    • The L says:

      Very well said. Your post should be quoted every time a fundamentalist starts raving about “Personality type X is going to HELL!!”

    • Ozzie Mandius says:

      Seth, I used to puzzle over this too, then I read some books by George Lakoff. Check out Moral Politics or Whose Freedom and things will start to make sense.

      • Seth says:

        Ah, the Linguistics Wars. Generative Semantics, or Generative Syntax? Sorry, but I’m a Chomskyite. Not to say that Lakoff is an idiot, but I don’t think he understood what Chomsky was getting at. Chomsky never said that syntax and semantics are independent. Of course, they are both much more interesting when they apply their linguistic and cognitive ideas to politics.

        Just FYI, sometimes when someone asks, “I wonder why…” they actually have a pretty good idea why, and are just trying to stimulate interesting discussion. Personally, I subscribe to the Toltec tradition of ‘moral judgment is a mental virus,’ which is not that different from Lakoff’s ’strict father’ paradigm, but goes further in explaining how and why the idea spreads. You may want to read ‘The Four Agreements’ for a modern take on the Toltec tradition. For a really interesting read, try the book that Robert Anton Wilson recommended to me when I met him at DisinfoCon, “Saharasia” by James DeMeo. James was a student of Wilhelm Reich, if that tells you anything.

        • Ozzie Mandius says:

          Thanks for the reading list – I’ll check out your suggestions. I guess I have a narrower interpretation of Lakoff’s ’strict father’ paradigm: if you smack your kid enough he’ll grow up to confuse ‘authority’ or ‘leadership’ with ‘head smacking’ and always be looking for somebody/something to punish him.

          Anywho, speaking of the Toltecs – how about that 13th baktun of the Mayan long count? I figure we’ve all got 3 years left now …

          • Seth says:

            Hehe. Mayan calenders, LOL. I did DMT with Terrence McKenna right before he died from brain cancer. Well, not WITH him, he was in no shape for that. We were at the same party. Smart guy, but he just goes to show what a few too many potent hallucinogens will do to your ability to tell the difference between your wacky fantasies and the objective world of reality.

            • PortlandMark says:

              “With Terrence McKenna” is a Win! but I don’t know about the dmt. Though, if I’d had a chance to trip with Timothy Leary, I would have jumped at it no matter which drug it was!

              • Seth says:

                This was New Year’s eve, 1999. The party was on the big island of Hawaii, at my friend’s incredible Frank Lloyd Wright house. She held all kinds of wacky seminars and things there, so the guest list was… interesting. She called it a ‘Masquerave’ hehe. Terrence’s brain cancer was in remission at the time, he’d just gotten some weird new ‘gamma knife’ treatment. His wife Kathleen was there too (she’s quite a bit younger than him. And hot!) We were all there early, as friends of the hostess, which is good because Terrance got tired pretty quick and had to go to bed. It was Mark Pesci (the guy who invented VRML) who ended up guiding a few of us on the trip at dawn. It was the second time I’d done DMT, but the first time it was a low dose of NN DMT. This was a high dose of 5-MEO DMT . Now, NN was the stuff Terrance mostly talked about. It’s very visually trippy. 5-MEO is less visual, but more spiritual. Imagine the opposite of a blackout. A whiteout. It comes on in about 5-10 seconds, and lasts 10-15 minutes. Mark called ‘thermonuclear communion with the divine.’ That’s reasonably accurate. Your sense of self is literally blasted apart. Every sense is hallucinating, with 5-MEO it’s mostly your sense of time and self. ‘You’ aren’t there anymore, it is undifferentiated experience. Not experience of something. Not experience by someone. Experience. Everything happening to everyone all at once, forever. If you aren’t prepared to give up your sense of self, individualism, and identity, it can be bad. One guy I know woke up convinced he was dead, and that the afterlife was an exact duplicate of his real life. He was pretty depressed for a month.

                • PortlandMark says:

                  I used to get glimpses of that when I did acid twenty years ago. It’s about the only insight I took away from those experiences that has stayed true even when sober: truly, we are infinitely interconnected with the universe and all tings in it. It’s strange that there should be many avenues, chemical and spiritual, that will lead to that experience.

                  • Seth says:

                    It’s hard to put into words that mean anything to someone who hasn’t had that experience though. You can say, ‘we are infinitely interconnected with the universe and all tings in it.” and I know what you mean, but on the other hand that could imply that ‘we,’ ‘the universe,’ and ‘all things in it’ are separate and distinct things in their own right, even though they happen to be interconnected. Dualistic thinking is hard to overcome. Language itself is dualistic in nature.

                    It isn’t strange that many things can lead to non-dualism, as we all startged off thinking in completely non-dualistic ways. We develop a model of the universe and a model of ourselves, but most of us get lost in that model, mistake it for the real world, and can never get out. We don’t see the world, we see our ideas and fantasies about the world. The intellect imagines itself captain of the ship of self, but it isn’t. The intellect and self concept become stressed, being in a position they were never intended for. It’s natural for the intellect to be frightened of stepping down, as that is imagined as a kind of death, but at the same time, the intellect suspects that it is way out of its league and really doesn’t want to be the boss.

                    I feel that these kinds of experiences (as remembered afterwords) are a sort of ‘cover’ for what is really going on: a complete reorganization of the internal framework. The ‘whiteout’ is really the brain shutting down the consciousness as it reorganizes its internal map.

    • n8 says:

      Here’s my take on it: non-believers refuse to submit themselves to the same authority and code-of-conduct as the believer. This casts doubt on the believer’s decision, in turn making the believer very, very angry. (Angry for a host of reasons, especially if the believer holds any status or power within his/her hierarchy.) The believer satisfies this anger by pronouncing “God’s” judgment on the non-believer. If this should bring the non-believer into the fold, then all the better, as this is seen to reinforce the believer’s choice.

    • Sordid Euphemism says:

      Dear Proselytizers: More Beatitudes. Less Leviticus. =)

    • Jenaroo says:

      You’re awesome. Great explanation.

  15. LillyOnTheMove says:

    What do the two circled parts say? I can’t read it! And is that a clown picture on the top right?!?

  16. Anon says:

    Oh no! Look out for those mormons!!

  17. ck says:

    STONE THE SPORTS NUTS!!!

  18. rhorho says:

    This is funny, in a sick way. I could see it captioned “Jim Jones–The Early Years.”

  19. Damn, I happen to like lewd and rebellious women. I am not sure if I qualify as a sex addict. Boobies. I mean, it isn’t like I think about it all the time. Double Penetration. Nope, not constantly thinking about sex at all. Girl on Girl. I take offense that I might considered a sex addict by a guy who couldn’t get laid in a morgue. Nipple.

    • Jane St.Clair says:

      Hmmmmm, I could have sworn I heard someone say my name. Must have imagined it…

      • I am not sure. Jugs. Could have been the wind. Blow me. I suppose it might depend on your nickname. Bend over and call me daddy. Then again, perhaps your imagination is just going into overdrive. Swallow.

        Besides, swearing is a bad habit. Naughty Teacher making the grade. Anybody else have twitching thighs? Horny.

  20. rhorho says:

    I noticed that “pedophiles” didn’t make the list. Maybe his “other daddy” made the sign for him?

  21. The L says:

    I love how it says just “Liar.” Not liars, plural. No, there is exactly one liar out there who’s going to hell, and he’s read my sign that says so. ;P

  22. garanhao says:

    “…and MORMONS”?!?!

    What the heck?! What did we do? Why are they mad at us?

    The best is that we’re listed right after “pot smoking little devils”.

    • Suz says:

      Silly Mormons. The Christian Right’s always going to think you’re freaks. Hmm, remind me to go to Rochester, NY and do some digging. :-)

      • Minerva146 says:

        It’s actually Palmyra, NY where Joseph Smith came from. It’s a dinky little place about 1/3 of the way to Syracuse from Rochester. I’m up here in Rochester. We’d rather be famous for George Eastman or something. Maybe even Taye Diggs or Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

        • Jenaroo says:

          I had a mormon try to stall me as I was walking to my car in my driveway to try and convince me to be a mormon. They gave me pamphlets and books. I blame your religion for making me late to class and cluttering the front seat of my car.

          There’s also that polygamy thing, which is kind of weird to anyone, regardless of religion.

          Of course I say all this in jest. (But really, polygamy? Cmonn..)

          • Lynn and I have a girlfriend together, isn’t too weird. Though I would wonder what is up with having over 11 spouses. That would drive me out of my damn mind.

            • slanagat says:

              But polygamy plus women not supposed to have outside jobs? In this economy? Dayumn.

              And let’s not overlook the squicky age thing with the FLDS types…

            • Angela della Muerta says:

              *daydreams about how nice it would be to have a girlfriend with my wonderful fella…*

              Too many women in one household is just asking for trouble though – most of us get a little crazy (maybe mildly homicidal) once a month, and a who load of women together would sync with each other… woe betide the man who didn’t think to order in 50 crates of chocolate THAT week!

            • sasamigirl says:

              My fiance and I date together too. I figure that polygamy is like everything else; fine in moderation, but it’ll screw someone over if you go too far. The reason the fundamentalist Mormons were getting in so much trouble is that they were forcing 12-14 year old girls to marry 40 year old men.

              But of course, according to our buddy with the sign, that’s okay since they’re not forcing 12-14 year old boys to marry them.