LEAD STORY FAIL
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wow. Slow news day.
my local news has made it to the big time yay!!!
Yeah, but they’ll never understand that in our area there’s an actual town called “Sandwich”.
Aww heck, let them enjoy their fun. =P
That’s the point really. Make stuff up or take it out of context. Much funnier that way.
Sandwich, MA?
Manwich, SA?
As a resident in this area, I can say there is both a Sandwich MA and Sandwich NH.
There is also a Sandwich IL!
wow… people are unoriginal with naming towns.
Let’s not forget that Sandwich was originally a barony in England — or that the 5th Earl of Sandwich’s gambling addiction inspired him to request dinner be brought to the poker table, with the meat between two slices of bread.
Moreso with New England towns in the propensity to name all these little townships with variations of one name. There’ll be a Sandwich, Center Sandwich, East Sandwich, etc.
But is there a Sammich, MA or NH or IL? That’s the pressing question.
Wouldn’t that be Panini?
i lived in Sandwich, MA
and they have the
Sandwich police.
Makes me wonder what
illegal combinations of bread and meat
there could be?
Hooray for Fox 25!
The reporter looks like Stephen King.
Holy shit, you’re right!
The photo is kind of scary too…
And the sandwich? It came from a deli in HELL!
HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!
It can also READ YOUR MIND and make you do things you can’t pronounce!!!!
If the captain’s sandwich is missing, though, do you think he’s mind if I ate his chips?
oops “he’D”
What are you on about?
probably
Was the hellish deli in new delhi?
I’m confused.
Where are we dining again?
Tonight?
In hell. After all, with sandwhiches gone missing, this is Sparta!
That’s just what I thought!
Is a captain missing a sandwich or is there a missing captain in the town of Sandwich?
Or maybe his name is Missing Sandwich.
and he’s a captain…
LOL, “now we go out to our reporter Captain Missing in the town of Sandwich. What’s the story there, Captain?”
dang it – you beat me to it.
Major Major Major
or the sandwich loves captain which went away and the sandwich is missing a captain.
One of the other options offered for this pic in the voting was “…and man is he hungry…back to you Bob!”
I’m betting Sanndwich is the Mayor of Captain and he’s gone missing, as the result of some elaborate plan to eliminate absurdly named officials from office.
They just might call themselves, The Hamburglers. Any thoughts? (boy I’m just asking for it)
Captain lolrus
missing bukkit
. . . by the shining missing sandwich,
Stood the captain of said sandwich,
Reporter of the “news” (Fox T.V.)
Dark behind him rose the white house
Rose the white and gloomy bushes
Rose the bush with dunce-cap on him . . .
Hey! Don’t be hatin’ the local Fox affiliates. Some of them are just as liberal as the rest of the mainstream media.
Ah the distant mournful cry of the idiot…
From the melancholy moorlands,
Gave a cry of lamentation,
Gave a cry of pain and anguish!
Crying, “Where the heck’s my sanguich?”
“Where’s my peanut butter sanguich?”
(You guys see what I did there? How I made sanguich rhyme with anguish? Huh? Huh?)
LOL-guich!
O.M.G.
It’s called a LOL.
It’s not a soapbox.
Note: This is about a Captain missing (3 fisherman found), in the town of Sandwich, MA.
Fox news, is news. Just slanted the other way from the other news channels. Best to watch Fox + (liberal channel of your choice, there are plenty to choose from) and figure in the middle is what is really happening.
There’s a Sandwich, IL too, which freaked me out because I knew nothing about this. X.x
Oof, I didn’t know about the missing Captain – sorry, Captain, for goofing
on the story. Anyway, I *was* kind of hoping someone would get my
Hawthorne reference *pushes glasses up, sniffs*…
ugh, er, that would be Longfellow *sobs*
“Note: This is about a Captain missing (3 fisherman found), in the town of Sandwich, MA.”
Their boat, however, was found on top of a pantsless guy’s car.
Best to watch Fox + (liberal channel of your choice, there are plenty to choose from) and figure in the middle is what is really happening.
There are not plenty of liberal channels to choose from. There is MSNBC to compete with FoxNews, but beyond that, the mainstream media is neither left nor right, but fairly centered on corporate-sensationalism. Whatever story is most likely to drum up viewers without pissing off the shareholders.
It’s perspective. I see NBC, CBS, and ABC as left wing because I stand to the right. You see them as center because you’re center-left. A left winger is going to see them as basically right wing. You pretty much have to watch it all, including Rush, Hannity, MSNBC, BBC, NPR, CNN, FoxNews, and the networks in order to get a clear picture. I see different stations taking the same stories and either leaving out key words or adding key words to change the meaning of the stories all the time.
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But you’re right, they all bow to the mighty shareholders and have to pretty much produce what will make them happy. To my right wing eyes, though, they are made happy by left wing drivel
I’ll watch or listen to MSNC, BBC, NPR, CNN, and possibly Fox News if I’m desperate. But I refuse to watch or listen to Hannity & Rush. You’re never gonna learn anything from them except how loudmouth jerks create their own form of yellow journalism. And DON’T get me started on Ann Coulter.
There’s a whole sh!tstorm on another thread about Ms Coulter.
The right wing ‘intelligentsia’ were there in force last night (if you can call one army drama queen and his sock puppets a ‘force’)
Oh! Oh! I wanna read! Point me in the right direction, mah Uncle.
I choose to take the other approach and watch no news whatsoever. I see all news stations as a waste of my time.
For the important news I come to Pundit Kitchen.
For American news it’s Pundit Kitchen for me. For the Glenrothes and Glasgow by-elections, the wonderful BBC and “The Independent” newspaper.
Next on Pundit Kitchen News: Barack Obama: EPIC WIN. George W. Bush: EPIC FAIL. Sarah Palin: Whoooosh! and John McCain: snoring old man. Film at 11!
succinct
I tend to like Teletext news… you can’t much spin into 150 to 300 words and hit the salient facts.
Actually Fox 25 in Boston isn’t the usual douchey Fox style of news. I’m fairly liberal and their morning show rocks. Fox 25 makes it to FailBlog, next at 5:30
WHERE IS MY SAMMICH!!!?
ahem… *MY* SAMMICH!! Get ur own.
“DeAr CaPtAiN- I have your sammich! If you ever want to see it again, deliver a Mountain Dew and three bags of chips to the break room on the third floor.
Signed ~ Not Kit”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Again!
Has anyone else ever noticed the poor schmuck newscasters standing out in the cold and the dark reporting on something that happened HOURS ago while everyone else is home or at a nice warm bar?
Sucks to be this guy. OR his cameraperson.
It happens all the time. They do it to give the appearance of “being there, in the middle of the action.” Heck, the local CBS affiliate in Chicago will have their reporters do stories just outside of the studio just to make it look like they are “on the scene, in the action.” TV is all about visuals, and you cannot do a story about a trial in the studio and get the same cred as the reporter who stood in front of the closed courthouse at 10 pm.
i always thought that!
Or when they go to knock on someone’s door and film the
door while saying “noone was home.” but this is what their
door looks like! I’d be thrilled to see someone compile a bunch
of clips of news reporters saying that.
When I still had cable, I remember that the Weather Channel used to have the same guy covering hurricanes, blizzards, etc. I used to wonder whether he just pi$$ed off somebody in management, or what.
Jim Cantore and Mike Seidel both do it
Is Mike Seidel the tall blond with the really ugly ties? Because that’s who I was thinking of, but I couldn’t remember his name.
I wonder how big their paychecks are to put through that kind of abuse. Either that, or they’ve got some serious thrill issues, dude. (to paraphrase Finding Nemo)
*backhands and takes*
Mine now, biatch! And just in case…
*beats to pulpy mass, sets on fire, pisses on ashes, then get another sammich*
What DWN didn’t notice was that, while he was so occupied, I ate his sandwich. Also, I made another sandwich, used the last of the peanut butter, and left a mess in the kitchen.
*sneaks away, satisfied*
peanut butter + marshmallow fluff = awesome
Yes. Definitely. There was a period of time in my childhood where that was the only kind of sandwich I’d eat.
peanut butter + marshmallow fluff= needing a pry bar to get your mouth back open again
What about Jam + Cheese?
My Papa’s personal favourite was a MARS bar sandwich.
No wonder he’s diabetic…
Peanut butter + cheese + potato chips…I miss childhood
*wasn’t going for peanut butter and calmly makes a Ham and Cheese sammich with mayo. Has sammich bliss. Wonders what schmuck left out the peanut butter.*
*upsides DWN for leaving off the mustard and roasted garlic, and for not buttering the outside of the sammich and toasting it until the cheese is melted and the ham is warm*
Hmmmmmm, roasted garlic. *follows herb into the kitchen*
“Also, I made another sandwich, used the last of the peanut butter, and left a mess in the kitchen”
AND left every light in the house on like he’s made of electricity or something!
…and I bet he left the toilet seat up too! dammit.
*calls from the couch* Hey, could somebody grab me some chips? And a beer?
*dumps bowl of chips on n8’s head and pours beer on his crotch*
Now see, if someone dumped a beer on MY crotch, I wouldn’t be able to help the crude question: “Hey, any ladies want a beer?” :-X
Or a Courvosier?
I’m guessing Sandwich is the mayor of Captain, and he’s gone missing as a result of and elaborate operation aiming to remove absurdly named officials from office. It just might be the case…
They might even call themselves, the Hamburglers. Thoughts? (man am I asking for it)
*More as this story developes*
I’m guessing Sandwich is the mayor of Captain and has gone missing. Most likely as part of a large scale effort by unknown parties intent on removing absurdly named officials from office.
That very well may be the answer.
They just might even call themselves… dare i say the Hamburglers.
thoughts? (man am I asking for it)
*More as it develops*
Again, again!!
So yeah, anything that follows the formla “noun goes here” is (EPIC) FAIL/WIN is tried, overused and unfunny. How does this story even fail? We can’t have something amazing happening at any given point. Furthermore, this is probably somewhere where news isn’t all gunshots and kidnappings.
Sigh.
Take things too seriously much? I agree that there has to be a good explanation behind it, but at first glance, the story looks hilarious.
Seriously? Not really.
I’m fairly certain I’m allowed to air my own pet peeves, however.
Oh oh! We’re airing pet peeves? Sweet!
My pet peeves include people who don’t realize their thought balloons are outside the picture on the advanced builder. Or people who make a decent joke, but spell it wrong. Or people who caption every skinny girl with “She can haz lots of cheezburgers.” It’s not funny anymore!!!
Okay, thanks. Moving on. Oh, and I agree with the win/fail comment that T made, but this one did actually make me laugh.
(I apoloize for any misspellings I have made. I just had ear surgery and am I bit groggy still.)
[sappy beauty contestant voice]
Um… I would have to say that my pet peeves are rudeness and people who litter.
Just roll with it T, you will be a happier camper.
Can I have some of the happy pills then, please?
Of course you can! Since you asked nicely.
Here, ema, put the pills in this sammich.
This just in! We have received a ransome note, and sadly part of a tomatoe was included in a plastic baggie although the note promises that the sandwich is still alive, the kidnappers are threatening to consume the sandwich if their demands are not met.
Meanwhile, Tennille was arrested yesterday evening for failure to pay for a falafel…
Those two were never any damn good!
Ema, I think you are reminiscing of Dan Quayle a little bit there…
OMG, Dan Qualye LIVES!
The typo was intentional, but now that I look at it, not so funny. Meh. Potatoe, anyone?
There has got to be a joke in there about kidnapping and toes… but, I just can’t find it.
Give up the ransom or there will be no little piggies going anywhere.
That is hilariously random at first glance, I’ll give them that..
Sandwich, Kent, United Kingdom
…mainly because the reporter looks like a Captain… Captain Missing
’sandwich’ would be a great story title.
its in mass, hence fox 25 news
..yes.
More like Sandwich, Massachusetts, US.
…yes.
sandwich, massachusetts – on cape cod.
Yeah, I knew it had to be a town name, but I just picked a random one in England..
Obligatory Soviet Russia Joke:
In Soviet Russia, sandwich misses you.
Tasty story.
I think I`d prefer news like this sometimes, then the over-negatively stories I hear from the news.
Hasselhoff lookalike anyone? Please…
Hasselhoff lookalike anyone? Please??
I was thinking more Ricky Ricardo…
I was thinking cheap 1980s action figure…
NEW! From Mattel! It’s CAPTAIN MISSING and his sidekick SANDWICH!!! Now with microphone and camera man accesories!
Sandwich is the name of a town on Cape Cod, MA. So it would make sense that there could be a captain gone missing, since it’s a sea-faring place.
I mean, it’s still funny, but people seemed confused.
That’s what makes it funny.
Back to you, Captain Missing.
Thank you Marie; today, SANDWICH.
…and?
SANDWICH.
I see….
SANDWICH.
We’ll return for more coverage shortly *cough*..
A sammich without bread isn’t a sammich! It’s meat with mustard on your hands!
I’m sorry, I believe you meant to say meat with may-o-naise!
Actually, it’s going on right now. Fishing boat accident off Sandwich MA. Three crew were rescued, but the captain (presumed drowned) hasn’t been found yet. Have to admit, the editing crew should have checked the way it looked on the screen!
Yep, if you google: Captian Missing Sandwich, you can read about it in the Cape Cod Times website
Or….you could read the other 30 comments above before posting. Maybe. If you didn’t want to look, y’know….stupid.
No – the Captain lost his sandwich!! All crew will be detained until the missing ham and lettuce product will be returned.
This is worse than the strawberries!!
Wow. How sad is it that I know what strawberries you’re talking about?
What old movie is that FROM?
it is kinda sad however i’m interested to know
The Caine Mutiny (1954) Humphrey Bogart is brilliant as Captain Queeg who slowly loses his marbles, you can actually see his deterioriation. Actiually, when I saw the caption I Immediately thought of Queeg
Btw, they have the strawberry scene on utube
Fox network is a joke. Especially here in New York City. I watch it for the lulz. There’s no other reason to. The only respectable news channel here is ABC 7.
Hey, it could be worse. You could be in St. Louis where the only respectable news channel is…um…I’ll get back to you.
actually, i figured it probably was referring to a captain missing in someplace called Sandwich. Still, the resulting wording on the tv screen was humorous.
You’ve never read any Stephen King? the BAD GUYS can read your mind and take over your higher thought processes and make you do EEEEEEvil things…. heh
Really.
So, if this guy were a super-smash bro’s character, his special attack is “Sandwich Pahwnch!”?
Thankyou verymuch
Sandwich MA makes the most sense: Captain typically referring to the sea, and MA is big on that…NH is more for its mountains and heck, IL is in the middle of the plains.