MMMM! Chocolate chip!
Pope Benedict Cookie Jar
on sale for $19.95 at store.vatican.com
(Pope Benedict XVI)
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: wally1974
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Cheezburger Network Blog
Should be a Communion Wafer jar.
I prefer cookies.
He doesn’t really seem like the type to give out cookies to me. :/
But Jesus is delicious!
I have a friend who is an ex-catholic. She told me when she was getting ready for her first communion that the nuns told everyone not to chew the wafer placed on their tongues because – and I quote – “you don’t want to hurt Jesus”.
That’s not the real reason. That nun is crazy. The actual reason is out of reverence.
Oh, and thanks for being respectful of other people’s beliefs.
Nothing at all against beliefs.
But why would a person say that to a bunch of children?
Because they are creepy…
For the same reason Sister Anne had me terrified my whole family was going to hell when I was in the fourth grade. *cough* sexual frustration *cough* What? I mean, ummm, she was worried about our souls, yeah… that’s right, our souls. *innocently whistles*
I find that denial of a basic and ingrained instinct tends to lead to an unhealthy perversion or anger.
Look up serial killers, pretty much every one that I read about had frustrations sexually and were ingrained with a sense of denial that they rebelled against in violent ways. Food for thought.
Jah, and if you look up school shootings, the video games did it, darn it all.
Serial killers also have this little thing called psychopathy/sociopathy, which actually has a defined set of characteristics, one of which is actually promiscuous sexual behavior. It’s not that they’re denied sexually anymore than the rest of us, it’s that they likely already have unrealistic sexual attitudes or ones that go far beyond what is considered socially acceptable.
Seriously, I’ve played a ton of violent video games without shooting anyone, and there are more than enough people who are chaste for whatever reason (wow, they might not even be denied religiously but based on medical or personal conditions…whadda concept!) that haven’t gone bonkers and hidden bodies in their basement.
Thanks for your stereotype. Try again.
Wow, way to totally not read anything I said. Thanks for your incompetence. I play violent video games myself and have yet to kill anybody either.
I was thinking of root cause, which if you actually READ their history, you would see what I was talking about. However, you chose to take a stance on defending violent video games, which I already play and leap to a completely wrong conclusion about my statement… Wow, just wow.
Um…I actually addressed what you said and only used the violent video games thing as a comparison because it’s something people can relate to a little better.
Your statement, as I read correctly, suggested that sexual frustration was the root cause of their disorder. I was telling you that, um, no…they already have a really deep problem called sociopathy or psychopathy or a million other things because the scientific community can never make up its mind. The sexual frustration that you seem to think is the root of their problem is actually a byproduct or a result (not to sure at this moment) of their already deep seated problem.
So…yeah. Maybe I’m not the one that needs to read a bit more clearly. ^_-
Fair warning that most psychosis manifests as the result of something. However, you also didn’t read the part where it was a common theme not an all inclusive cause. See the history of Albert Fish and Ed Fish to name a couple.
Again, you are not reading what I am saying and drawing a completely different conclusion about my premise.
I think maybe sexual deviancy rather than sexual frustration. BTK, for example, found it pleasing to torture and denigrate his victims. While there was a sexual element to this, he was also in, according to reports, quite a healthy marriage. So regular, “normal” sex apparently wasn’t a problem there. He, by all accounts, was a model citizen. Except for the whole bind, torture, kill thing.
Others do it for the sheer pleasure of killing, or witnessing pain; Son of Sam had no sexual element to his killings, he was just acting on the instructions of his neighbour’s dog. Hence the reason one of the indicators for psychopathy involves the torturing and killing of animals at a young age.
And I agree, nuns are creepy. 13 years of Catholic education taught me that well.
Wow, there is an echo. Read their history, not their crimes…
I apologise for the echo. My mistake.
I think you’ll find that the main triggering factor with serial killers comes from rejection and neglect as children which then manifests itself as self hatred later on. This can manifest itself in, well, odd sexual behaviour (such as bestiality and the like) but often manifests itself in violent (not always sexual) behvaviour as well, such as torturing and killing small animals.
Before you comment on my lack of understanding and tell me again that I need to read their histories etc etc, understand that I am not talking about their crimes here, but often their behaviour throughout childhood and adolescence.
Also, I was never implying you were wrong, just maybe there was a different term – sexual dysfunction – rather than sexual frustrations. My thoughts just sort of got away from me. Sorry to offend.
Are we still talking about nuns?
Yeah, let’s get back to that.
Sorry. That sounded really sarcastic. I wasn’t being sarcastic.
I’m just being offensive all over the place today.
Nuns. Probably sexually frustrated.
Which is kinda what I said to set us all off. It’s well known in my family that nuns terrify me. As a joke, of course, my mother buys me nuns (figurines, not actual nuns).
LOL. I went to Catholic school for 7 years. Had a few scary ones. (as teachers)
Best case of what I am talking about is Ed Gein. There are too many names to just start bluring them out but read up on his childhood and see a bit of what I am getting at.
The sexual dysfunction caused sexual frustration which pretty much exasperated the issue. I actually like discussing this with you more since you seem more interested in coming to a conclusion than trying to win e-penis rank like the vibe I am getting with the other person arguing here.
Prolly ’cause she thought they would understand that better than the word reverence.
It’s like my uncle telling me that thunderstorms are God and his angels bowling. When you’re five, it makes more sense than the scientific explaination, and it makes thunderstorms a lot less scary.
As another ex-catholic who attended approximately 237 centuries of CCD (Catholic Sunday school), I can tell you firsthand that the nuns said plenty of crazy things, although I don’t recall ever specifically hearing a nun make that remark about Communion wafers (and it seems like the sort of thing a person would remember, y’know?)
Also, I’m all in favor of respect and tolerance and stuff, but it seems to me that quoting somebody’s actual words neither states nor implies disrespect.
Well, actually the communion wafer in a Catholic church is supposed to be the transmogrified flesh of Jesus, and the wine his blood. It is an actual belief, hardcore Catechism. I was taught this is Catholic school when I made my first communion.
edit: transubstantiation. sorry
ignore me please. for some reason I didn’t see al of the other comments before me. stupid non-refreshed page X[
Someone explain to me how consuming the transubstantiated Eucharist is not ritualized cannibalism.
Because it’s crazy to think that the wafers actually become the flesh of Christ.
Perhaps. But it doesn’t change the fact that they *believe* they are cannibalizing Christ.
If you want inaccurate information about the Catholic faith and what Catholics believe, listen to an “ex-catholic.” If you want to know what Catholics really believe, talk to a theologian, not someone who was just a bored kid half paying attention during classes he or she didn’t want to be in. I’ve found that the angrier an ex-Catholic is, the more inaccurate his or her information tends to be.
Speak for yourself. I was raised Catholic and can discuss religious differences accurately. I can give many reasoned arguments as to why I am no longer catholic or even christian. Please don’t overgeneralize and insult my intelligence.
It’s one thing to say that I (or anyone) doesn’t believe or agree with the teachings of the Catholic Church, and something else altogether to say that I (or anyone) don’t/doesn’t have an accurate grasp of what those teachings are. It’s probably also worth pointing out that, unless my Catholic friends and family members are deliberately misrepresenting their beliefs in my presence, I have a pretty good idea of “what Catholics really believe”.
A married Catholic businessman got a blowjob from his secretary.
He goes to confessional, and he’s sitting there wondering how many “Our Fathers”, etc. the Priest will give him.
An alter boy is walking by, and the man stops him -
Man: Hey, what’s the Priest usually give for a blowjob?
Alterboy: Two cookies.
That was funnier than the picture. xD
Heard it before and had to stifle a laugh.
Yeah, it’s kinda old – but the lol reminded me of it.
I can see why.
I LOL’d.
He tells the kids: “No cookies! You have sinned!” so Mom knows when their stealing.
What the heck is going on in this picture?????
The priest lifting the lid looks like he is SUPPOSED to be doing that based on how placid the Pontiff seems to be. Is this some way of showing Benedict isn’t armed or that he has all his own hair? Or is this the way he receives messages from God? Surely, this isn’t some sort of prank, is it?
This is really something for the fail blog. Humility is taking your hat off before god. Failed humility is hiring someone to do it for you.
Maybe he forgot, and the guy behind him was trying to take it off before God noticed?
Is that what it is?
I thought those hats stayed on as reverence before God – like Jewish yarmulkes.
It’s difficult to take your own hat off when you’re 237 years old.
I think the Priest is putting the hat BACK. Apparently it blew off.
The hat is a music box, and when you lift the lid, it plays a charming little tune.
What you don’t see is the direction he is taking the hat. He’s really trying to snag himself a pope souvenir.
He won’t get far… the priest behind his shoulder is watching like a hawk.
Voila messieur et madame, le piece de resistance, je presente:
pate de pope!
very roughly translated: Here it is lady and gentleman, something-something, I present: Pope something
Here’s what an online translator gave me:
“Here is messior and Madam, the pi2ece de r3esistance, I present: paste of pope”
I don’t know why the number are there.
Well, I think pate is meant to refer to his bald head. Making a sort of bilingual pun. It’s cute.
Thanks.
Pรขtรฉ made of Pope *eww*, vs. top of head (pate)
This is brilliant. Multilingual punning. You rock.
*beams*
I almost went with “Voila! Chapeau Neuf du Pape!”
[applause]
OK, what happened to the other eight?
neuf=new in this case LOL
Chocolate chips or age spots? YOU make the call…
I loled so hard when I saw this. XD
I saw this and though “Bwwaaaaaiiiinnnnnnsssssss”
Or maybe I even ‘thought’ that. *grumble*
My son asked:
Do vegetarian zombies say “grrraaaaiiiinnnnsss”?
Funny, my boy is.
that would really be a diet tool. once you see ol’ pope benedict, you’re gonna lose your appetite.
Whoa, I thought the guy in the background was Ben Browder for a second there…
I was gonna say he looked like Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs…and if it was that would make this hilarious..” Today on Dirty Jobs, we visit the Vatican…”
I know I want one! Mmm, pope cookies…