Hundreds of people on Craigslist will, though.
Hundreds of people on Craigslist will, though.
Who is that in the picture? Tell us in the Comments
picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: starstattoo
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FIRST! I am sorry, I have always wanted to do that. Explain this please?
ever heard of S&M
Are those like M&Ms?
I suppose you can use M&M’s….
NO! Not the M&Ms!!
Skittles? Would you prefer a light dollop of Hershey’s Kisses?
Gummi bears, you lick em, you stick em, and then fun ensues!
I’ve never heard ‘lick em and stick em’ applied to gummy bears, but whatever works
it only works in the bedroom. everywhere else is taboo.
cept for at the movies, works there too
Oh it works… trust me. You just move around like a gummi bear-anteater.
No teeth or lips allowed.. just using the tongue.
Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun! Now all I need is someone to lick them off of me. . .
Damnit, I hate you, the mental image scared me.
Gratuitous Liberal Rant
Gratuitous Intolerant Slam
Unnecessary Name Calling
Random Absurdist Comment
Hyperbole with a Sprinkling of Red Herring
Surreal bollocks
Applause for this thread.
*Seconds applause*
Declaration of Win and bedness with a smattering of agreement and some pontification.
Refutation of “Win” status plus baseless declaration of Fail plus questioning of sexuality of subsequent comments.
Mockery of your name and sexual relations and latent desires therein.
I could’ve sworn that said “surreal buttocks” when I read it first. I laughed for about a minute straight, then read it again and was disappointed.
Fanboy fawning
Sexual innuendo
In bed
Cheeky reply
Admission of being obsolete and replacable with self depreciating charm.
Snide or stilted poncey English advice, e.g.: ’self-deprecating’ is the more popular form, although of course ’self depreciating’ would carry roughly the same meaning.
Quirked eyebrow and uncompromising attack on your patriotism with hints about your sexual ambiguity and gerbil controversy.
something gay something gay something gay… penis
Teasing innuendo. Perverted comment. Well wishes.
Late, and subsequently irrelevant, remark about gerbil controversy
Winking and further remarks punctuated with fortune cookie add-on perversion.
Shower
Selling of camera footage to Republican men still in the closet.
Maxwell Silverhammer: “Doing it” for closet Republicans since
1975…. and counting…
Statement of being disturbed and snickering while posting support commentary.
Offended prude
Not me!
Right?…..
Eye rolling and snarky remark.
Time for a semi-incomprehensible insult which I borrowed off a glaswegian?
Definitely.
hmmm.
Ah!
Awa’anbileyerheidyacrazybamye!
Verbal masturbation
Condescending glance
Snide remark questioning your parentage.
Commentary about your questionable heritage. *crosses finger for proper nesting this time*
What?
Sighing and annoyance that what was previously nested incorrectly has been fixed. Rubbing of temples as dual posting has been made. Amusement that you couldn’t roll with it ensues.
*Typo corrections because of editing difficulty on the nesting format.
Statement about beverage spewage due to amusement.
Strawman fallacy.
Godwin Fail
incongruous tangent
Non sequitor
Argumentative posturing
Insipid whining
Dastardly cowardice
bat sh*t crazy trolling
Chicken with a side of wild rice
Better then you poo joke.
your* DAMNIT
ACtually that wasn’t a poo joke. I was referring to actual Hershey’s Kisses, lol. I don’t go for the scat humor
Smug pontificating
Wordier-than-thou rebuttal.
High horse.
Verbal masturbation AND discussion of the merits of penguin authoritarianism. In a bastardized French and Scottish accent while tooting a kazoo.
sock puppet accusation
Verbal abuse of Americans from egocentric European standpoint… While wearing only a thong and spam.
Request for mental cleanser for visual image. Spam?
Partisan blog cited as real news
I know you’re not talking about me
nah, just continuing the theme of that thread. but now I broke it. Off to bed.
Degrading into eristic argument.
Some eejit shouting “whaaaaaaaaaambulance”.
Chocolate Milk
Cheetos
DWN’s wang
Doh, I wanted this one to nest under the godwin.
It’s the thought that counts.
EEWWWWW in bed!
Statement of wang discussion and its need to commence…
Wondering where EP is hiding
Not really…..
And still after all this… Thread win!
After reading this lovely Winning thread…I got to the discussion of the photo/caption….and forgot what the photo was.
size matters
Who are they and what is their phone numbers ?
And thank god too, or I wouldn’t be able to afford rent this month!
What’s this bitch going to do, not pay her taxes any more? Fact is you are and will continue to pay for torture, a lot of it you will never even hear about.
That is what H.D. Thoreau did during the Mexican American War. He calculated the percentage of his taxes that went to the war, and subtracted it out of the taxes he sent to the government. It is possible to not pay all or part of your taxes, not condoning it, but just saying it’s possible. It’s also worthy to note that Thoreau was jailed over his refusal.
I thought that was R. W. Emerson?…
No, wait. You’re right. Emerson visited hm in the clink and asked what he was doing in there, and Thoreau replied, “What are you doing out there?”
And then someone paid the tax for him and he wrote “Civil Disobedience.”
Such a cute little story.
Yeah, we don’t quite know who it was, but it was either Emerson or Thoreau’s mommy who paid it. She probably said “And for bailing you out, AND cooking your meals when you got tired of your garden shed by the pond and walked home for dinner, I get to call you by the name I actually gave you, David Henry, whether you like it or not.” Seriously. She named him David Henry Thoreau, he didn’t like it, so he flipped his names around.
Oh, and it’s actually pronounced “Thorough”, accent on the first sylable. We know this in part because Henry liked to make lame puns about his doing a “Thoreau” job as a surveyor, har de har har.
I kind of understand why Hawthorne seemed to think, “Henry, you’re a very smart guy and a great poet, but you’re really kinda a PITA to be around, you know?”
Well, you can work it so you’re giving enough to charity so you don’t have to pay taxes. Technically. I mean, you don’t get the money, either, but you get to decide where it goes. I think you have to pay more than you’d pay for taxes. But it’s possible. Probably you need an accountant to do it though…
Much to the joy of fledgling dominatrices everywhere.
a thousand points for the proper plural!
It drives me crazy that almost no one knows how to properly pluralise it.
(And thank you. ;P *takes points and runs with ‘em*)
Incoming post from DWN in 3…2…1…
fail
Oh, he’ll be here, with explanations, charts, diagrams…
I cant believe DWN hasnt posted something yet… You have failed me my friend!
Or more accurately you have caused me to fail myself!
at least you didn’t say flail.. that would have put an entirely different spin on the comment.
Cmon… do I strike you as a hardcore catholic? Hehe
But, some people flail just as a matter of principal.
i flail about when frustrated…oh, wait
Oh, that was bad. *cringe*
Based on previous comments, I’m guessing he might be busy irl. I’m trying hard not to picture that.
(scrubs brain)
He hasn’t been on all weekend. Lynne must be getting tired soon…
Something’s gotta start chaffing…
Oddly enough, we were just gaming all weekend… Did have sex, just not that much. I am ashamed of myself.
>.> It takes allot allot for something to start chaffing >.>
Sounds like a goal. >_>
Not in the cold dry weather around here.. Ya gotta at least turn up
the heat so the sweat really starts to-….
Yeah… Im not going any further than that.
Mmm, summer sex is fun.
Got to love that lube! ;o)
Who is DWN? Have I been gone that long?
DWN = DeathWyrmNexus: a eccentric yet lovable character, relatively new to
these boards, like myself. His hobbies include, S&M, D&D, TLC, and adding the
tagline “…in bed” to various comments. A memme all to himself, DWN… we salute
you!
And yes… you have been gone that long.
I forgot whether I know you, do you know me?
So you guys weren’t looking for me…?
*Hangs head in shame and walks away*
You dont know me… but Ive been watching these boards for the better half
of a year before I started posting… So not to creep anyone out but…
Ive been watching all of you… and I know you all better than you think.
MWUAHAHAHAHAH- Son of a… I gotta stop with the maniacal laughter…
I find it strangely comforting.
It’s like being watched by Ceiling Cat. Or maybe, Maxwell IS Ceiling Cat!!!!
*backs up slowly… then jumps out the window*
lands on feet…
*stalks*
*blush* Awwww, thanks guys. I feel the love and it feels pretty damn keen. *hugs all around*
Now to come up with something clever. … …. ….. ……
*dies from saying Ow too much*
Speak of the devil.
I have seen the devil in the mirror and know him well. All the troubles in my life can be laid at his feet. All my defeats and woes, all my suffering and hatred, all his doing. For who else can I blame? I have seen the devil and he is me.
/wankery
Sorry, are you quoting somebody? Or just being poetic?
Excuse me for being a bit of a philistine.
I thought posting the /wankery would state that I am just waxing idiotic in a meager attempt at poetics…
So no, that is mine, off the cuff and fresh from the brain for whatever that is worth.
>.> I thought it was cool >.>
>.> Damn using his computer so it looks like he’s comenting when I’m too stupid to fix it >.<
Aye, it sounded good. I swear it reminds me of some author or other, tho…
Thanks AC, knowing my luck it probably is similar to somebody else’s work and I apologize for any similarities. I seriously just wrote it as I was sitting here at work.
*pets the Lynn* Tis okay hun, they already think I am crazy.
*nuzzles* well they’re pretty much right… but I like um crazy ^_~
Just make sure food is ready so I can be crazy and slightly less whiny. Stupid head cold.
Is it bad that I suddenly saw myself being detailed like a pokemon and then got paranoid of people who have stress balls around me?
and about time you showed up too, sonny boy!
Not gonna lie I miss you guys, mid terms have been brutal this year.
i curious…what doese your name mean? i interpret it to mean you always go for the wrong guy/girl, but thats probably just me projecting….
*I’m* and *does*….
I found it amusing.
As ugly as this girl is, I suspect the only sex she’ll get will be what she has to pay for…… Brrrrrrrrr!
Nah, I’d hit it.
That might constitute torture in some places.
She’s just got a bad hairdo. She’d look fine if she didn’t wear her hair like a curtain.
yeah- I’d hit it too- with a stick!
Soooo…… Somebody points out that there is injustice in the world and all you notice is her looks.
hmmm.
Tell me, would you have written the same thing if the picture was of a man? Or are you just trying to draw attention away from atrocities, which the American government permits, because they threaten your comfort zone?
Does this mean you’re an ugly girl ? T_T
I suppose I am. However, that doesn’t change what this girl is protesting about. I think you’re doing exactly the same thing as Wilder: masking something which you’re afraid of with what you hope is a witty insult.
I’m pretty sure it would have been a comment about men who hire dominatrices instead. Must you act butthurt so often?
If, by “butthurt” you mean: “annoyed that someone chooses to ignore some girl’s protest because of her looks (because that wouldn’t have happened if she was a man)” then yes. People can’t just act as if someone’s beliefs are stupid because she’s ugly. And I don’t think Xtacy’s comment was about dominatrices: wasn’t she assuming that the only reason I’d defend this lassie’s argument is because, being one, I don’t like people slagging ugly females?
Shut up, ugly.
See?
Proof of what I’ve been saying!
Still ugly.
Dude, at the risk of entering a fraught conversation…you aren’t making guys look good, at all. And no, I’m not ugly, by anyone’s standards.
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See the violence inherent in the system !
( She’s not an old woman- she’s an old man !)
Yes, by butthurt I mean taking offense at a ridiculous comment made on a…. Humor site. Not every joke will be funny to you but don’t expect us to apologize and get into Serious mode just because you get annoyed.
All things stated, had it been a man, we would have mocked him for being a closet whipping boy. Is that really any better or worse? She is mocked for her looks, so what? I’ve been mocked for being too skinny, too fat, too ugly, too odd, too ignorant, too horny, etc. Hell, most the time I wonder if I am just becoming a cliche’.
So I am truly, TRULY sorry but I don’t give two flying flaming damns about how this girl is being mocked on a humor site. I really don’t and I am constantly amazed by how many things you take personally here. If PK is too mean for you, why do you stick around? We are going to mock people, tell dead baby jokes, kick somebody while they are down, stay classy, and otherwise be total asses. What part of the obvious did you miss?
‘Tis nothing more arrogant than a 16 year old girl with an internet connection……unless it’s a 16 year old boy with a condom
(AC, sweetie, I say this as having once been a completely arrogant 16 year old girl who finally realized the world doesn’t turn on my displeasure. That’s when I got over it and grew up!)
I have lost days to catch up on for stating how much I adore you.
My 14-year-old stepdaughter has been coming into the “I know everything and you’re just mean and disrespect me” phase. It’s glorious fun. “Damn you for thinking homework is more important than texting.”
It is why I am fighting the idea of having a daughter though I am going to lose. She has the sex and I needs it. I can’t force her to be on birth control so eventually I fall into the trap anyway. Like a damn lemming… With a hard-on…
Well, in our case, it might not be so bad if her mother wasn’t such a useless alcoholic, white-trash, waste of space. It falls on us to do any and all of the discipline, and it’s not reinforced at mom’s.
But I digress. Teenage girls rally do know everything, just ask one.
*really
Oh fun…
Yes, I am arrogant. Yes, I am a bitch. Yes, I am opinionated and pedantic. Thing is, today I don’t feel guilty because it’s quite enjoyable, actually. I’d never get away with thi in the real world y’ken. Ok, so the world won’t change because I shout at it, but I am allowed to be disapproving here so I shall do so.
BTW youse are bams. (But very likeable bams nonetheless.)
Yes, I am arrogant. Yes, I am a bitch. Yes, I am opinionated and pedantic. Thing is, today I don’t feel guilty about it because it’s quite enjoyable actually. I’d never get away with this in the real world y’ken. I don’t expect the world to change because I shout at it, but I’m allowed to disapprove here so I shall do so.
BTW youse are all bams. (But very likeable bams nonetheless)
Least you admit you’re a pointless waste of discussion.
And one of these days she will figure out that being an arrogant bitch on the internets (and I don’t think I called her a bitch, did I?) translates over into real life, and in neither place is it cute. Then she will get over it, get a life, and get some friends online with whom she can debate the issues with instead of getting prissy about everything not going her way
And I adore you too, darlin’ 
*smooches*
You didn’t call her anything of the sort. Yay smooches!!! XD
You are right though and it is why I dread having a daughter. @_@
Daughters are fun! You get to play dress up and tea party and teach her about menses…….hehehehehehehehehe *evil laughter*
Daughters are fun! You get to play dress up and tea party and teach her about menses…….hehehehehehehehehe *evil laughter*
@_@…
X_X…………………………
So you don’t wanna have kids, or you’d rather have a son? Because… I’d rather have a girl than a boy.
Well, as long as she’s not ugly.
I fully plan on asking my daughter’s future dates questions about their intentions and if they think I’m the kind of father that would buy a ticket to the same movie, secret myself three rows back with a par of night-vision goggles and a tranquilizer gun, or if I’m the sort of date that would instead bribe someone else to watch them in the theater and periodically text me updates while I ready my car by laying out tarps in case we need to go for a long drive afterwards.
* or if I’m the sort of father…
(Damn blind margins)
That’s it, I am making my sons into masters of disguise and ninajs. NINJAS WITH DISGUISES!!!
As for the whole daughter issue, I am going to force myself to be Devil’s Advocate with this string of self questioning.
“Why am I secreting my girls away? I am not saving them for myself. Do I honestly want them to stay young forever because I get more available bathroom time if they leave…”
Mostly I will charge my sons with looking out for her. So if the guy is a jerk, he will have accidents. If he is cool, I will just impress upon him that treating my girl improperly will get him castrated with whatever I find at the moment. As for sex, I have to remember that I was active as a teen so I will just let my daughter know that I prefer she talk to me than get into a huge mess.
Crispy flying fist rape that was hard to type without slagging it and simply saying I will get a shotgun and a rocking chair…
So.. DWN.. you’re a fat skinny, ugly, ignorant, horny… cliche guy?
Apparently, it is why I hate mirrors but find myself strangely drawn to them. Like watching a bad car wreck or listening to a bad joke. I want to know the punch line but I still don’t like either result.
Way to ruin an otherwise epic thread.
PS. Thanks for the lulz ya’ll. This short response, nested combo comments thing you got going on is awesome.
Or the giant cat with a great hat made of dead unicorn’s beards. Well I would notice something else in that circumstances.
But she WILL pay for donuts!
Unless she’s a cop..
HEY WHOA!
Did someone say doughnuts?
I was thinking ice cream and chocolate.
Standing around holding signs won’t do much, she needs to get some “tough sons of bitches” (ala Bob Dylan) outfitted with assault rifles and take back the government.
From who? The Democrat congress or the Republican Whitehouse?
Both. They’re both part of the same Business Party.
I won’t pay for torture but I like to watch free samples. Actually that isn’t true, I don’t watch sitcoms.
It’s TRUE! I had a dude pay me $50 to kick him in the balls!
O.O !!!!!
She won’t pay 4 torture, but she’ll pay 3!
(What’s one less submissive anyways?)
Anybody know the source of this picture?
People with cameras lacking a hobby?
hell ya