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my first official act


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my first official act will be to sell alaska back to russia

(Barack Obama)

picture: dunno source, via our lol builder. lol caption: epc

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  1. ema says:

    They’ll drill for the oil and sell it back to us, smart…

    • Guinny says:

      HA! But we won’t want it anymore ;-)

      • ema says:

        They’ll still drill and sell it to China, either way, we lose.

        • Guinny says:

          Damnit! Is there no way we can win? *dramatic flourish*

          • ema says:

            Sure! Don’t vote Obama! ;)

            • Iridus says:

              And don’t vote for the Dark Lord either ;)

              • BCL says:

                Republicans for Voldemort

                • Phaelin says:

                  Everyone for Nader

                  • ethana2 says:

                    The sad thing about that is that even Ron Paul is for Nader now.
                    “Vote for ANYONE but the big two! We need a three party system!”
                    ..but I’m not going to vote for Nader, I’m going to write in Ron Paul.

                    • heh says:

                      Darth Nader?

                    • Robert says:

                      We really do need a third party, but there’s no way to force it to happen unless we just outlaw the party system.

                      *sigh*

                      • Travis says:

                        You can’t outlaw something that doesn’t exist.

                        The US doesn’t have a party system, unlike most “democracies” (none of which, fortunately, are actually democracies), does not have parties as part of the system. The only way to accomplish what you want tho, is to follow George Washington’s advice, and eschew political parties altogether. In the modern political environment, that would require abolishingpolitical parties completely. For that, you’ve got my vote.

                        • Agree, with qualifications. Pres Washington was truely one of a kind, so for him the solution was obvious…he honestly thought that people would put the nation ahead of their own interests. The rest of us mere mortals gravitate towards partisian politics, but as bad as two parties are, more than two are VERY bad. (Remember JoBoo’s Rum?) After all, we don’t want to copy Italy.

                        • bitter troll says:

                          -outlaws unicorns-

                        • No1askedme says:

                          An actual democracy would be too weak and slow, hell, our own representative democracy system is still too slow…

              • Haroldthesage says:

                Cthulhu for President, “Why vote for a lesser evil?”
                All hail the Elder party

            • Guinny says:

              I’m pretty sure I have a third candidate right h–

              Wait.

              Never mind.

        • PortlandMark says:

          Why doesn’t anyone talk about this? Whether we agree on more drilling or not (I don’t), can we all agree that shipping (12%? 18%? I forget the exact proportion) of our domestic oil production to China should stop RIGHT THIS SECOND? We would be that much closer to energy independence right away.

          • PiMan says:

            All oil is sold on the international market. Even the US has to buy from itself.

            • Robert says:

              And we get most of our oil (like ~70%) from Canada at a discount rate thanks to Nafta (which, as it turns out, is why we sell as much of it internationally as we do).

            • PortlandMark says:

              You may speak the truth; seriously, I don’t know. But *why* does it have to be that way? Pass a law stating that all domestic production needs to be used in the USA. If we can’t do that, then I DEFINITELY oppose opening up any more sites for drilling.

              • ema says:

                I think it depends on how expensive it is to ship it to refineries compared to how much they can get selling it. If we were allowed to build more refineries it would help a lot I think we would probably keep a lot more.

                • catluber says:

                  well here in alaska even though we produce alot of oil and have a cople retineries it costs more have with winter comeing and stuff some people are calling heating oil gold

    • x-bert says:

      In Soviet Russia, oil drills for YOU.

    • sarah says:

      riiiiigh ummm im pretty sure its a joke about palin

  2. mek says:

    Go Palin!

    • catluber says:

      palin and alaska rock caues’ as an alasken cidizin i am payed to say so we get like 1-2,000$ a yr. for the oil and gas resorces and contrey to the popular belife i am not escamo and do not live in an igloo i have never even seen a poler bear it gets to 80 in the summer our natives don’t live in igloos(thats in canada) nromal people live here and alaska IS BIGER THAN TEXES. HA HA TEXES THE TRUTH IS REVEALD NA NA NA NA NA HAHAHAHAHAHA

  3. Lucky says:

    Why is this funny? I mean, Alaska did belong to Russia at one point, but…???

    • Ceefax says:

      Everyone’s favourite braindead Jesusfreak comes from Alaska, so maybe if the US sells Alaska to the Ruskies then they’ll have to put up with her instead.

      • Koki Kariya says:

        Why not just deport Palin to Russia. She’ll be fine; she’s clearly an expert on Russian society given her proximity.

      • Captain Weiner says:

        OMG! THANK YOU! NOw I get this ‘LOL’

      • Robert says:

        So your comment indicates everything that’s wrong with the radical left. You don’t criticize based on substance, you just toss (inaccurate) characterizations around to make yourselves feel better about that fact that your candidate somewhat lacking. For instance, I could say he’s an empty suit Chicago thug (thanks to Bill Clinton for that one) who’s never won an election with an opponent on the ballot (also true) and has ties to more radicals than Osama bin Ladin. Except, of course, all those characterizations were true. But when I discuss Barry with someone, I criticize him on substance-his tax plan will hammer small businesses, his foreign policy includes withdrawing from Iraq (the goal anyway) and invading Pakistan (y’know, our ally who’s a nuclear power-wtf?). He seems to think there are 58 states (possibly a mistake made by a man whose exhausted), and he once said that the reason we didn’t have enough Arabic translators in Afghanistan was because they were in Iraq. Of course, they speak Farsi in Iraq, not Arabic. Either an inaccuracy or an outright lie, either way kinda weak sauce.

        Sarah Palin is a governor from a rural state who strongly states her religious views and has been characterized as a hick. Y’know, like Bill Clinton. If she was a left wing nut like Nancy Pelosi, these ridiculous attacks would be characterized as what they are-sexism.

        • Kalistongue says:

          No sir, your characterizations are not true. The radical/terrorist thing is old and tired, and frankly, thinly veiled racism “he ain’t like us good Americans…” But just keep throwing that bullshit out there, it just shows how ignorant and desperate you all are.

        • kthnxbai says:

          Kool aid… WIN

        • PortlandMark says:

          “If she was a left wing nut like Nancy Pelosi”

          Oh, man, if ONLY she was a lefty. I might actually follow her. She’s a weak, rudderless, pro-big-corporation shill who doesn’t have the slightest idea how to use the power she has. I give her and Reid full credit for the low poll numbers congress has now.

        • Ceefax says:

          Excellent, you accuse someone of tossing characterizations around then go on some kind of characterization tossing orgy with the qualifier “But mine are TRUE!!!!” You sum up what’s wrong with the fundamentalist right… No, with humanity.

        • Travis says:

          Actually, you were right on most everything… except on the language issue. First off, the primary languages in Afghanistan are Dari dialects of Persian (Farsi), and Pushtu…these two account for a solid 85% of the people of Afghanistan…Arabic speakers (native speakers at least) in Afghanistan are foreigners…read also “al-Qaeda”.

          Farsi is not spoken in Iraq by any significant portion of the population, although the vast majority of Iraqis’ native language _is_ Arabic (most of the rest speak Kurdish, some also Aramaic (especially Christians and, formerly, Jews))… in sum, it makes almost no sense to have Arabic translators in Afghanistan (although an argument could be made), so…once again, Barack Obama’s ignorance of the world is in plain view for all to see. Why anyone is comparing his knowledge to Palin’s is beyond me, except for simple desperation…he’s running for President, she’s not. So fight with a straw man…is that what the Democrats’ tactic is here? And what ever happened to civility in politics? Talk about divisiveness…the bilious vitriol that characterizes the Democrats’ current rhetoric is about as far removed from an ideology of “healing” and “bringing all Americans together” as I can imagine…

  4. BAW says:

    I have often wondered how history would have been different if the Steward’s Treaty had NOT been ratified by the Senate.

    1. Russia sold it to the British instead; Alaska becomes part of Canada under the British North America Act.

    2. Russia keeps it. At the Revolution:

    a) The Soviets get a foothold in the Americas;
    b) The Imperial family flees to Vladavostok, takes control of the Pacific Fleet, and crosses to Alaska, establishing a “Kingdom of Alaska” which is to the Soviet Union what Taiwan is to the PRC.

    3. Japan acquires it, either through purchase or by conquest during the Russo-Japanese War.

    • PiMan says:

      If Japan had acquired it then WWII would have gone rather differently (although still likely a win for the allies in the pacific, just later). One of Japan’s biggest problems in the late war, was a lack of oil.

      • Robert says:

        Japan probably wouldn’t have gotten involved with the war at all, since resources were a large reason for their going to war in the first place.

  5. Catnip-M says:

    Only if Palin gets sold along with the state. But nvm, no one will pay anything for her after this election. Just GIVE her to Russia.

  6. GiftedPlacebo says:

    Socialism, 1 state at a time.

    • PortlandMark says:

      Umm, you aren’t under the impression that Russia is a socialist nation, are you?

      • Guinny says:

        You, I like ;-)

      • Pudding says:

        He seems to be confusing Vladimir Putin for Obama.

      • Robert says:

        They’re an interesting mix of socialism and capitalism that’s very popular amongst the old communist nations. They’ve learned that taxing the crap out of businesses destroys the economy, so they’ve pretty much eliminated corporate taxes. Compare that with Obama, who wants to raise taxes on “the rich” (people who make over…whatever it is this week). Which of course affects mainly small business who file their taxes as personal income. Small business…y’know, the ones that employ the most people in our country. Boy, I sure want them hurting for money to appease some ridiculous idea that I’m owed someone else’s money.

        • PortlandMark says:

          “learned that taxing the crap out of businesses destroys the economy”

          Not as much as borrowing to pay for everything. Who exactly *should* pay for our society’s needs?

          • seriously, our society’s needs are much, much less than our society’s wants. We do not need half the programs that the government has out there, especially when there are thousands of programs that no one knows about or uses. the solution is to return our government to a small, limited government like it was back when the constitution was written. Return the power to the states, and only have federal programs that require federal coordination/jurisdiction. Why does the federal government need to be concerned with the preservation of Alaska? let the Alaskan government take care of it (no, this has nothing to do with Palin). Seriously, neither party’s policies will “fix” the government. the more control the federal government has over the individual’s life, the worse off our country will be. Does it seem foolish to you that more people turn out for national elections, which effect them little, verses local elections, where the issues of their home town will be decided? It isn’t a question of McCain/Obama, or who’s leader is an idiot. it’s a problem in the system.

        • Guinny says:

          Untrue. Most small businesses make far less than that. That’s why they’re *small* businesses.

    • Kaitlin says:

      Smart people know the difference between Barack Obama and Brian Moore. :D

    • Seth says:

      Oh I wish. Unfortunately for us actual liberals, Obama is not one, he’s solidly middle of the road and would never propose anything as smart as socialism.

      • Musicmom870 says:

        LOL! I thought I might be the only one who thought Obama wasn’t liberal enough for me.

        • O.o says:

          They get *more* liberal!? Eek!

          • Viking says:

            HOLY CRAP! Ok, I’m going to hide in a atomic-age bunker until the liberals all wipe themselves out with their crazy ideas, then return to pillage the Empire they set up in place of the “democracy”

            • DeathWyrmNexus says:

              I will sharpen my sword and knives and wait to join in on that. My girl is already showing decent proficiency with chainmail.

              • heh says:

                If only there was a real Underdark we could hide in. Or put in a Faezress tuned to lure the really crazy fanatical people down there so we can stay in the sun.

                • DeathWyrmNexus says:

                  I could dig it. I want better stats though. I think I dumped everything in Charisma and still didn’t come out ahead.

      • O.o says:

        Only time I’ve ever heard socialism called smart.

        • Guinny says:

          Then you must be American.

          • kthnxbai says:

            FTW

          • O.o says:

            And proud of it. Socialism = very bad idea.

            • Guinny says:

              I’m a proud American too. Still, I know what socialism actually is and do not think it’s a bad idea in general. Would never work in America, granted, but the world is bigger than just our country.

            • PortlandMark says:

              (To repeat a former post) I will give you one dollar if you can define socialism, and another if you can tell me why our system is better than those so-called socialist nations of northern Europe, when their health care, education, and happiness ratings are consistently higher than ours. We aren’t even close; it’s not like they are first through sixth and we’re seventh. We are currently listed (by the WHO) as 37th in the world at providing health care.

              • pointman says:

                Socialist:
                You work hard.
                You have two cows.
                You take care of your two cows.
                You get milk

                Your neighbor is lazy.
                He has no cows.
                He won’t take care of cows.
                He has no milk.

                The government decides you are rich, your neighbor is poor.
                The government takes one of your cows and
                gives it to the neighbor.
                The government then orders you to take care of neighbor’s cow.

                You now work just as hard as before.
                You still care for two cows.
                You get half as much milk.
                Lazy neighbor gets milk, but doesn’t have to care for cow.

                You get tired of this and quit caring for cows.
                You are jailed for animal abuse.
                Neighbor gets both cows.
                Government sends neighbor check to hire farmhand.

                Neighbor now has both cows and all the milk.
                You have a criminal record to dog you forever.
                Now no one will give you more cows because you
                failed to care for previous cow.

                You starve to death.
                Neighbor sells both cows, keeps government check,
                and buys your farm.

                That is socialism explained. Do I get my dollar now?

      • ryszard says:

        He is the farthest left candidate for president this country has ever seen.

      • Robert says:

        Socialism has never worked anywhere it’s tried. Ever.

        • yen says:

          Yeah, I heard France is a shi*thole

        • Thindy says:

          100% socialism, no. Cuba’s still having a decent go at it, but the US won’t let them do the best they can do.
          Large socialist elements on the other hand, can do just fine. particularly in education, health and utilities.

        • kthnxbai says:

          That’s because the US has never let that happen. Take Chile in 1970 for example. The country elects a Socialist party president (Allende, not communist), and the US does everything in it’s power to make the people in Chile starve…
          “Not a nut or bolt shall reach Chile under Allende. Once Allende comes to power we shall do all within our power to condemn Chile and all Chileans to utmost deprivation and poverty.” โ€” Edward M. Korry, U.S. Ambassador to Chile, upon hearing of Allende’s election.
          “Make the economy scream [in Chile to] prevent Allende from coming to power or to unseat him” โ€” Richard Nixon, orders to CIA director Richard Helms on September 15, 1970.

          See? if we actually let it happen it may or may not work. Plus, in case you haven’t been watching the news, unregulated capitalism doesn’t work either.

        • PortlandMark says:

          Northern Europe puts down their cigarettes long enough to thumb their noses at you.

  7. bittervoter says:

    *snort* and I wonder, would we really miss it?

    • n8 says:

      It has great strategic value! How else can you hold North America against armies in Kamchatka? That’s 5 armies per turn!

      • Seth says:

        Who tries to hold North America? The South America-Africa combination is far superior strategically. Or one can go for the ‘explode out of Australia’ strategy. Only take North America when you are on your last unstoppable roll, IMHO.

        • n8 says:

          One plays the territories one is dealt. Still, if you can do a North/South America combination, you’ve only got to safeguard Alaska, Brazil, and Greenland. (Iceland, if you’re doing it right.)

          • Seth says:

            True, true. If you can take it, N/S America combo is one of the best, but everyone knows that, and will try to stop you. I’ve just found it easier to take and hold South America and Africa, in general, but one does have to play to the territories dealt.

        • PiMan says:

          I always go Australia. Not the easiest way to win, but the most fun.

          • Robert says:

            Actually, once you get ahold of Australia, you’re mostly unstoppable, because you get a good amount of troops per turn, and there’s only two ways in (instead of 3, which is most other continents)

            • PiMan says:

              You’re playing a different version to me then. There is only one way into Australia is Siam (Asia) to Indonesia (Australasia). South America has two entries, others have more.
              Australia’s strength is its weakness. You can keep everyone out by piling on Indonesia, but they can keep you in by piling on Siam. A way to overcome this is to take Siam early and hold that as their bottleneck into you. But while you’re holed up in Australia, your opponent is taking over the world, gaining far more territory than you, and therefore far more troops.

      • bittervoter says:

        I love that this turned into a conversation about risk. :) Thanks guys! You’ve brought a smile to a dull afternoon.

    • dropping in says:

      Ouch- I like Alaska- the wildlife is gorgeous, and the hiking and backpacking is amazing…I think sometimes a little bio-diversity within the human population might help things along there and other misc places around America (including where I grew up :) . But yes, I would miss it- I would rather we sell Texas- more bad presidents (all the really bad one really) have some from there (form BOTH sides of the aisle).

      • bittervoter says:

        The nature and wildlife is Alaska’s one redeeming quality for me, but since I can’t stand long winters, really cold weather, and not having a major city nearby, Alaska doesn’t hold much pull for me.
        (I was, for the record, being snarky and not totally serious).

      • ema says:

        I always think of that guy Christopher McCandless when I think of Alaska. What a strange story that was.

        • DeathWyrmNexus says:

          If you mean the guy from Into the Wild, I know what you mean and I hate that guy. Least Darwinism caught up to that putz.

          • I was stationed in Alaska in a light Infantry unit and spent four winters (and summers) “camping” in the wilds of Alaska… The into the wilds guy was a foolish young man (tenderfoot) with big ideas and no common sense.

            • ema says:

              True that, he was not prepared for what he did, it was almost like he just wanted to die. Sean Penn of course idolized him in the movie for some reason.

  8. Canadian Patriots League says:

    Why not sell it to Canada?

  9. Kaitlin says:

    I give it a 4. Feh.

  10. lol says:

    What would Palin’s husband think of that?

  11. …and Louisiana back to the French, and give the Desert Southwest and California back to Mexico…

  12. Pom Rania says:

    Nah, sell Alaska to Canada.

  13. scum-bot says:

    nyeeeeet it’s in my group of favorite states.

  14. Roguim says:

    Smart move against Putin
    Putin: I will invade Ucriane Know!
    OBama: Hold you horses or face the consequences!
    Putin: What you’ll nuke me bhah!
    Obama: No far worst i’ll give Alaska back to Russi WITH PALIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Putin; DO NOT WANTTTTT !!!!!!!!!!

    So ladies and gentlemen we discovery Obama’s plan to avoid the second cold war.

  15. Helin says:

    AND TAKE PALIN WITH YOU!

    Uhh…and replace Russia with Canada plz : D

  16. Rorsc says:

    Wow ! Tolerance of other religions and points of view- FAIL !!!!!

    Hate filled jackbooted Communists !

  17. Viking says:

    AHA! So this LOL proves Obama is a traitor to America!! *grumbles* In my time, we took for ourselves, not give stuff away *grumbles*

  18. pointman says:

    Second official act will be to return Texas to Mexico, along with several billion in Taxpayer money. Also, include official apology for that whole ‘Alamo Incident’.

    Lousy Liberals.

  19. Isilidur says:

    DON’T BE A HATER!!! VOTE FOR NATER!!! Whoooooooooooooooo!!!

  20. xuxppxxuxyyy says:

    hello it is test. WinRAR provides the full RAR and ZIP file support, can decompress CAB, GZIP, ACE and other archive formats.


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